But now I'm found

by MagdalenMary495

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Part 1

Jarrod Barkley stood at the window of his Stockton office. Smiling, he watched the good natured squabbling of two little girls on their way home from school. Nick, walking toward them, tipped his hat in passing with an “Afternoon, ladies.” Both of them giggled, hands clasped over their mouths as they dashed away. Jarrod wished...sighed. No use wishing for the impossible. Still, the unbidden thought crossed his mind. I had a little girl like that...once.

Impatiently, Nick shoved the door of the office open, announcing his arrival with an angry, “Where the devil you been, Jarrod? You were suppose to meet me half an hour ago with that bank draft to pay Mr. Wilkins for...what’s out there?” He asked, noticing Jarrod’s preoccupation with the scene outside. Nick strode over to stand beside him.

“Just children, Nick,” he answered quietly. “Happy, unafraid children.”

“We just gotta give Jenny more time, Jarrod,” Nick’s voice gentled talking about his niece, “one of these days you’ll be watching her run by with those other girls. She won’t always be so...so..”

“Afraid?” Jarrod filled in the word.

Nick cleared his throat. Worry clouded his brown eyes as he searched for words to bring Jarrod out of this sober mood. “Jenny’s a little skittish right now, sure. But she’s been through a lot. We gotta give her more time,” he repeated.

Jarrod turned away from the window, sat down heavily, shoulders drooping. “Time. Is that the cure for everything, Nick?”

“C’mon, Pappy, “ Nick clasped a firm hand on Jarrod’s shoulder, “let’s go get that bank draft for Mr. Wilkins. Heath and me been talkin’ for weeks about buying that parcel of land up near Garret’s Pond. Mr. Wilkins is leaving tonight on that Modesto stage.”

“Nick, wait!”

Halfway to the door, Nick turned around. Jarrod nodded to a telegram on the desk. Now, what the devil? Nick picked it up, reading out loud. “Mr. Jarrod Barkley. Stockton, California. Three men arrested yesterday in Millersburg. Jewelry matching description of late Louisa Barkley found in their possession. Need positive identification. Sheriff Hank Madeira.”

“Well, now,” Nick’s mood lightened, “that’s what I call good news! If they found Louisa’s jewelry maybe these are some of the ones who..” He stopped before saying THAT word. Even now, he found it difficult to mention the murders.

“All it means,” Jarrod said wearily, thoroughly hating the fact that he knew the finer points of law, “is that they were found in possession of her jewelry. If they get a good attorney, it can be argued that they bought the jewelry honestly, or won it in a poker game. They could even say they’d found it somewhere. Even if they are the men who...” taking a deep breath, he forged grimly on, “murdered Louisa, Nicky and the others, there are no witnesses to prove it.”

“There’s one,” Nick said softly. “Jenny was there too.”

“Do you know what you’re suggesting, Nick?”

Jarrod sprang out of his chair, grabbed up his hat saying roughly, “Let’s go get that bank draft.”

“Now you wait a minute,” Nick stopped him, catching tight hold of Jarrod’s arm to hold him in place, “Jenny was there in that house. Maybe she could identify those men.”

“No, Nick.”

“You know she knows what went on in that house.”

“She’s never told any of us anything that happened that day.”

“She told Mother Nicky snatched cookies.”

Jarrod threw his hat back down on the desk, “Nick, you know as well as I do that could have happened any time, anywhere. Nicky never let a day pass without being in some kind of mischief. Maybe it happened months before and Jenny felt guilty. Who knows what goes on in her mind? What she remembers. She won’t talk about it.”

“Jenny knows exactly what went on in that house, Pappy, and you know it! You should take her to Millersburg and see if she can identify those men.”

“Do you know what you’re saying?” Jarrod’s eyes hardened in anger, “Have you taken a close look at your niece lately? She panics if we take her too far from the house. If someone rides up or comes to the door, she hides. She’s terrorized if any of us even mention Nicky...”

Nick winced. Recalling the last time one of them had unwittingly mentioned Nicky’s name. How Jenny put her hands over her ears, screaming, “Don’t talk about him! Don’t talk about him!” as she cowered in a corner.

“Maybe it’s just too soon for her, Jarrod. Maybe if...”

Jarrod waved him to continue, pacing across the floor, “Go ahead and say it. It was too soon to take her by the graves. If I’d just waited.”

“Jarrod,” Nick twisted his hat in his hands, "sometimes even if your mind knows a fact is true, it takes awhile for your heart to catch up. Maybe Jenny needs time to believe it in here.” He touched his heart.

Jarrod raised an eyebrow. Nick with a poet’s soul? He grinned at his younger brother, “You, brother, Nick, let that rough cowboy exterior hide a great deal of tenderness where a certain little girl is concerned.”

“Now what the devil is that suppose to mean!”

“What happened to her, Nick, “ Jarrod switched subjects. “Those first few days she came back she was so...so...”

“Like bubbles in champagne? Sparkling. Dancing.”

Jarrod smiled. “Like that, “ he agreed. “What happened to her? Why did she start to fade away?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m greedy, Nick. I want MY Jenny back. The little girl unscarred by all this tragedy.”

“Pappy, you and I both know, Jenny’s never gonna be the same as she was before.” Laying a comforting hand on Jarrod’s shoulder, Nick fumbled like a calf with a bucket on one hoof for the right words to say. “Might as well face facts. We buried that Jenny with Louisa and Nicky. Maybe it’s time we learn to accept Jenny like she is now.”

Why? Why did Jenny have to suffer? Why did he have to watch and worry and feel defenseless to protect her from any more hurt. Waves of anger, mixed with self pity washed over Jarrod as he fought to bring himself under control. He picked up the telegram, balled it into a wad before tossing it in a wastebasket. “Let’s go get that bank draft, Nick. We’ve keep Mr. Wilkins waiting long enough.”

Wisely, for once, Nick kept his mouth shut.

Every evening, coming home, Jarrod rode through the gates eager to see Jenny. On rare good days, she might be outside watching, waiting for him, If she felt particularly brave, he’d give her a boost up on Jingo. They’d go for a short ride. Jenny wouldn’t go too far from the house so Jarrod never rode long. Just enough to catch up on news of one another’s day.

On the night when the telegram worried his mind insistently, Jenny wasn’t outside.

“Mother! Jenny!” He called as he went into the house, tossing his hat and paper on the table in the foyer. “There you are,” he said, watching them both come down the stairs. Mother in a red brocade dress, Jenny in a crisp white dress sprinkled with blue forget me nots. As she came slowly down the steps holding Victoria’s hand, Jarrod saw traces of tears still on her face, the sad tilt to her mouth.

“How’s my girl?” He asked, holding out his arms for a hug. “Did you have a good day?”

Behind Jenny, Victoria shook her head. No. Wearily, Jarrod sat down on the stairs pulling Jenny into his lap.

“Jenny helped me make some lemonade, Jarrod, would you like some?”
“Yes, Mother, after that hot, dusty ride home I think fresh lemonade might be the perfect solution.”

“I’ll get you some,” Victoria said. As she passed, she squeezed Jarrod’s arm for encouragement. “You two talk. Jenny needs some answers.”

By the look on Victoria’s face, Jarrod braced himself for what Jenny might say.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, honey?”

The question took him by surprise. “Daddy, when are we going home?”

Stunned, Jarrod’s heart plummeted. “Why would you want...” at the anger in his voice, Jenny tensed, began to pull away. Jarrod held her tight. Pressing her closer to his heart, he began to stroke her hair as he answered her in a calmer voice, “We are home, Jenny.”

Jenny’s eyes filled with tears, her bottom lip quivered but she didn’t cry. “But aren’t we ever going back to our home, Daddy?”

Dear God, he thought, help me. What am I going to say to this child that won’t hurt her more?

“We don’t need to go back there, Jenny. Uncle Heath packed up everything we left there...all your dolls and toys, your pony...” He looked down at her, those solemn eyes watching him. Why would she want to go back? Why wouldn’t she? It had been her home.

“Not ever?”

“This is our home now,” he said, more sternly than he’d intended. Jenny swallowed hard, blinking back tears. Understand, please, he begged her silently, I can never take you back there. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she whispered in a small voice. Accepting. Obeying..but not understanding.

Would it never end? Holding her, Jarrod felt utterly helpless. Powerless to prevent Jenny’s fear or her pain. He’d known, from that first second when Sheriff McCafferty found Jenny hiding under her bed, that she carried the horrific events of Louisa and Nicky’s last day in her mind. It haunted her every second of every day. He thought of the telegram, the three men in jail in Millersburg. Help me, help me know what to do.

“I’m sorry, Jenny,” he cradled her closer. “Im so sorry.”

No one spoke about the telegram at dinner...not with Jenny present. Trust Nick. He’d managed to spread the news to every member of the family before they sat down to eat. Each of them hid the gloomy knowledge behind a forced gaiety. Jarrod tried, for Jenny’s sake, to keep a light banter going about a runaway goat he’d seen cause havoc by running in the dressmaker’s shop that morning. Jenny pushed food around on her plate, eating exactly two bites. He counted. Didn’t push. As sensitive as Jenny was, Jarrod knew she felt the strain of the adults around her. It was a relief to end a meal, mostly uneaten, and have Audra whisk Jenny off with some table scraps for Soot, her kitten.

As if by unspoken consent, the family gathered in the study the telegram uppermost in everyone’s mind.

“Jarrod,” Victoria began, “you can’t be seriously considering letting Jenny try to identify those men? She isn’t strong enough to face them,”

Heath looked up, drawled calmly, “Maybe see needs to face them, Mother. She’s so afraid all the time. Might be it’s because she knows those men are still on the loose. Maybe she’s afraid they’ll come after her too.”

“I agree with Heath!” Nick thundered, clapping his hands sharply together, “I think Jenny’s gotta face this or she’s never gonna have any peace. I say we take her to Millersburg.”

“Forget it, Nick,” Jarrod turned from pouring himself a stiff drink. A drink he sat down untasted.

Nick’s anger expressed itself in a sneer, “Forget it!” He pointed a finger at Jarrod, “You want them to get away with what they did to Louisa, Nick, Nate, Bonita? The hands? Or maybe you don’t care if they go free and kill someone else’s wife and child.”

“Let it go, Nick. I won’t let her do it.”

“When Beth died, you were ready to kill her murderer with your bare hands.” Nick raged, moving threateningly closer, Shoving Jarrod roughly in the chest he shouted, “But with Louisa and Nicky you say, let it go! Well I won’t! Maybe you don’t care but I do!”

“Nick! Jarrod!” Victoria placed herself angrily between her sons, pushing them away from one another. Heath jumped up, ready to separate them further if they came to blows but hoping they wouldn’t. He’d sooner tangle with a mountain lion than Nick all riled up like he was now. And Jarrod. Jarrod might look cool on the outside, but once his anger simmered and boiled over..boy howdy, Heath thought he might prefer to wrestle Nick than Jarrod. Looked though, like Mother had them settled down for now. “There is no point in discussing this any longer. Jenny is not ready for this. If we push her, it could set her back I don’t know how much.”

“When’s she gonna be ready?” Nick questioned, backing away from Jarrod but eyeing him like he’d like to get in a punch or two later.

“I don’t know,” Victoria shook her head. She sat back down. Heath followed her lead, sitting warily on the edge of his chair..keeping watchful eyes on Nick and Jarrod.

“You’re forgetting one thing, Nick, “ Jarrod said, “Jenny has never told any of us that she saw the men.”

“She saw them.” Heath stated quietly. “No...” He shook his head as they all glanced questioning eyes upon him. “She’s never told me anything...not with words. But did you ever see her eyes when she thinks you aren’t looking? The way she studies folk’s faces? She knows exactly who they were.”

Into the silence of Heath’s remark, Audra and Jenny came into the study.

“Look, Jarrod,” Audra smiled sweetly, “Jenny thought you might like some coffee.”

Victoria sighed in relief as the rough edges of her sons melted watching Jenny. Almost on tiptoe, Jenny crossed the carpet to Jarrod holding out the cup and saucer carefully. Biting her bottom lip with the concentrated effort not to spill, she let out the breath she’d been holding as she handed Jarrod the cup.

“Thank you, little lady, this is exactly what I wanted.”

Thankfully, Jenny smiled a shy, smile. When she smiled like that she reminded him of Louisa.

“Boy howdy,” Heath broke the tension further, “Whatta we gotta do to get service like that, Nick?”

Grinning, Nick sat down, stretched his feet out toward the fire. “Guess we’ll have to get us a little girl of our own.”

Jenny leaned over the back of Nick’s chair, “I’ll get you a cup of coffee, Uncle Nick.”

“Well, now, I like that,” Heath pretended to pout, “Uncle Nick. What about Uncle Heath?”

“I’ll get you one too.”

Jarrod put a quick stop to that. “These two are perfectly capable of getting their own coffee. It’s time you were in bed, little lady.”

“I’ll take you up, Jenny,” Audra held out a hand.

“Will you come up, Daddy?”

As Jarrod nodded, she went willingly to hold Audra’s hand. When Nick protested he hadn’t gotten a good-night kiss, she ran back for one of his crushing hugs. Heath had to get a peck on the cheek when he grabbed her for a second hug. “Night, Grandma,” Jenny threw her arms lovingly around Victoria’s neck, kissing her twice. Jarrod would get his hugs and kisses when he tucked her in bed.

Later, Jarrod turned Jenny’s lamp to a dim glow. Jenny refused to sleep in the dark. Often, she fought sleep altogether, fearful of the frequent nightmares that controlled her dreams.

“Daddy, will you stay till I fall asleep?”

Pulling up a chair beside the bed, Jarrod sat down. Jenny reached out to grab his hand, holding tight. Afraid he might leave. He talked until Jenny sighed, content. Snuggling back into her pillow, she yawned. Jarrod waited as her blue eyes fluttered closed, opened and closed again. Drowsily, she murmured, “Nite, Daddy..I love you.”

“I love you” Jarrod whispered. He waited, hating what he needed to do yet knowing he must. For Jenny’s sake. For his. He had to know the truth.

“Honey,” his words causing her to stir just as she’d started to sink into sleep, “the men who came to the ranch that day...how many were there?”

Jenny whimpered slightly. After an eternity, a small voice quivered, “Five.”

“Did you know them, Jenny? Did Mama?” He asked urgently.

Again Jenny began to whimper, thrashing her head back and forth on the pillow. “Mama, Mama said,” Turning her face away from Jarrod, she cried softly, defenseless as sleep reached out to claim her.

“ What did she say?”

Through the tears, Jenny’s voice trembled. As she repeated words, Jarrod’s blood turned to ice. Never would he be able to forget the tortured words Jenny whispered as Louisa had done. “Dear God...Jarrod forgive me, forgive me. He came back.”

Part 2

“Who came back?”

Nick paced around the dining room the next morning, serving fidgety impatience with breakfast. “If he came back, he’d been there before. Think, Jarrod, think! Who was it?”

“Nick,” Jarrod answered wearily, lines of fatigue rimming his eyes, “I’ve told you ten times since I sat down to drink this cup of coffee that he could have been anyone. You know Louisa never met a stranger.”

“C’mon, boy, you gotta know the people who came and went on your ranch!”

Jarrod dropped the cup back into the saucer with a clatter. Coffee sloshed out onto the tablecloth. Silas, passing behind Victoria with a plate of fragrant blueberry muffins, shook his head sadly. Spilled coffee. A terribly hard stain to soak out of white linen. “I don’t know, Nick.”

“Nick, please,” Victoria interjected, helping herself to the muffins, “could we please have a little peace with breakfast? Thank you, Silas. Heath?” She asked, passing along the muffins to Heath. Nick continued to pace furiously for another second or two before pulling a chair roughly away from the table. He threw himself into the chair, grabbed a muffin from the plate Heath offered and crumbled it to bits on his plate.

“He’s right about one thing,” Heath commented over his scrambled eggs covered with sausage gravy, “If Louisa said he’d come back, she knew who he was.”

“It was someone Louisa knew Jarrod wouldn’t approve of,” Victoria spoke quietly.

“Now, how the devil would you know that, Mother?”

Looking up, Victoria met Jarrod’s eyes briefly, “She asked Jarrod to forgive her.”

“More coffee, Mr. Jarrod?”

“Thanks, Silas.” Jarrod held up his cup for a refill. Nick waved Silas away impatiently while Heath motioned, ‘no thanks.’

Nick slapped his palm on the table, causing the china to jump, more coffee to slosh a stain on the table cloth. Silas sighed. “You have to know!”

“Nick,” Victoria scolded. Heath helped himself to another muffin, slathering it with butter while Nick darted an angry glance his way. A look that bristled with condemnation...how could anybody eat at a time like this?

“How would I know?” Jarrod asked. He’d spent a sleepless night going over and over Jenny’s words. Louisa’s words. Had they been her last? Racking his brain for a clue. His disposition hadn’t been approved by Nick pounding on his bedroom door before the sun peeked over the horizon with a ‘great plan’ to take Jenny to Millersburg.

“You know what Louisa was like.” Standing up, coffee cup in hand, Jarrod walked slowly toward the dining room window. He stared out, deep in thought while Nick fumed inwardly at the delay. “When we lived in San Francisco before the children were born, I never knew where I might find her. One day she’d be at the Palace Hotel drinking tea with the Mayor’s wife. The next she’d be in Chinatown in an opium den spooning stew into some addict’s mouth. That didn’t change when we moved to the ranch. I use to tease her about bringing home people like Audra brought home stray puppies and kittens. There might have been dozens of men she knew I wouldn’t want around the ranch. If Louisa could help someone, she did. Whether I approved or not.”

“Listen, Jarrod,” Nick pressed, “you gotta do what I told you this morning. We need to take Jenny to Millersburg. See if she can identify those men.”

“Jarrod, you aren’t seriously considering taking Jenny there?” Victoria asked. After last night’s discussion, she’d assumed that particular subject was closed. “Last night you didn’t want to risk taking her.”

“Mother, Nick’s right. Jenny knows something. Maybe it’s time we made her tell us.”

“Course, she knows!” Nick thundered. “Jenny knows everything that happened in that house.”

“Even if she does,” Victoria argued, impassioned with laying this idea aside, “we can’t ask this of her. It’s too soon. She’s still too vulnerable, too fragile. Jarrod, are you willing to risk destroying how far we’ve come with Jenny?”

“Now, Mother,” Nick argued back, “Jenny’s a spunky little kid. The way I got it figured, she never has to know what we’re taking her to Millersburg to do. If she recognizes the men, might be she’ll say. If she doesn’t no harm done. Maybe she’s just waiting to tell us everything.”

“I get that feeling too,” Heath agreed, earning a hard back slap of approval from Nick. He jolted forward, losing his eggs in a flood of coffee from the cup he held in his hand. Boy howdy, breakfast with Nick took moving quick. “Like she’s just holding it all inside, waiting for a chance to tell us what she knows.”

Turning from the window, Jarrod noticed Victoria’s mood. “Mother?”

“I get that feeling too,” she agreed. As a mother, a grandmother, she couldn’t explain why she felt it wrong to make Jenny look back at that day. Motherly instinct. Fear for Jenny’s sanity. “But, even if she knows, even if she wants to tell, what then? What if she identifies the men?”

“She’d have to testify in court wouldn’t she?” Heath asked softly.

“And then what, Jarrod. Let her condemn someone to hang. You can’t put that burden on a little girl.”

“Mother, Jenny was in the house. She saw the men. If there is ever any chance of justice for Louisa, Nicky and the others it’s going to have to come through Jenny. There are no other witnesses.”

“I don’t care about justice! I care about my granddaughter! What good will it do to sacrifice her for some high idea like justice. Louisa and Nicky are dead. Justice isn’t going to bring them back. Are you willing to risk what Jenny’s gained for something that won’t ever matter to your wife and son?”

“It’s a risk I have to take.” Jarrod stated. He’d spent the night weighing the hard moral dilemmas on both sides. Justice was the last gift he could give to Louisa and Nicky. Jenny...Jenny would have to be strong enough to face what was to come. And God help him if he made the wrong decision. “If there’s a chance she can identify the men, I have to let her.”

“Now you’re talking, Pappy!” Nick’s shouted jubilantly. “I’ll go hitch up a buggy.”

As good natured now as he’d been angry before, Nick wolfed down two muffins, gulped down a cup of coffee. Once he’d left the room, Victoria made another attempt to talk Jarrod into changing his mind. Knowing her words would have no effect on her eldest son, but determined to try for Jenny’s sake.

“Jarrod, please reconsider this.”

He didn’t answer. He wouldn’t. Jarrod stood behind her, both hands on her shoulders, bent down to kiss her cheek. “I have to do this. Jenny has to do this.”

Victoria, tears glistening in her eyes, nodded. There had never been a question at all. Jarrod’s strong sense of justice would allow him to act no other way. She’d known that all along...that one day it would come down to this moment. A quiet prayer left her heart, that Jenny’s peace and sanity would not be sacrificed for justice.

“Jenny,” Heath announced, breaking the tension, “don’t you look pretty in that purple dress.”

A chorus of “Good Mornings,” greeted Jenny as she stood at the dining room door. If she’d heard them talking, her blank expression gave nothing away. After a timid, barely audible, “good morning,” she walked to Victoria holding the ends of her pinafore sash.

“Aunt Audra wouldn’t get up, Grandma,” she offered as explanation, “and I can’t button all my buttons or tie my sash.”

“That’s easily remedied.”

Victoria turned her quickly around, took care of the buttoning and tied the sash of the crisp, white pinafore. Each loop of the bow she pulled into a big “poof” as Jenny liked. “Jennifer Victoria Barkley, you’re as vain about your sashes as your Aunt Audra is about her dresses.”

“All done. Sit down and eat your breakfast.” Victoria pulled Jenny close for a hug, blinking back quick tears. How she wished she could spare Jenny the coming ordeal.

“How did you know I was hoping for a hug from a lovely little lady this morning?” Jarrod asked as Jenny held up her arms for a Good morning hug. He mixed the hug with quite a few kisses before pulling out her chair and waiting for her to sit. Jarrod sat back down at the table as Silas brought in a fresh plate of eggs for Jenny. “Here’s some of those strawberry preserves you like, Miss Jenny,” Silas handed her the preserves. Jenny smiled a shy smile. Whispered a “thank you.”


Jenny spread strawberry preserves on a biscuit, sticking two sticky fingers in her mouth to lick off every bit of the goodness. Watching her, Jarrod thought with his heart in his throat, will she forgive me if I make the wrong choice? He dreaded having to speak, to destroy this tiny island of peace as a little girl ate breakfast without knowing what lie ahead. When she’d eaten most of her eggs and two biscuits slathered with strawberry preserves, Jarrod smiled brightly.

“How would you like to go for a buggy ride with me today?”

Eyes too big in her face, Jenny asked, “Do I have to?”

Hating himself, Jarrod answered in a voice that left no room for argument. How long had it been since he’d had to speak to Jenny that way? A year? More? “Yes, you have to go. It will be good for you to get some fresh air. We’re just going to Millersburg. I have to see the Sheriff there.”

Jenny slumped in her chair, a slight pout of her bottom lip. Rebel, Jenny, he thought. Sass back. Throw a temper tantrum. I almost wish you would. Anything to show me that same spirited little girl I knew back in Salinas is still inside. Except for a slight, sullen expression, Jenny didn’t react.

Nick strode back into the room, “Buggy’s out front. You all set, Jenny?” He patted Jenny’s shoulders. Jarrod saw Jenny pull away at Nick’s touch. She’s angry at both of us. With a lightening of his heart, he thought, that’s a good sign. Stay angry, Jenny. Anger gives you more strength than fear.

“I better get to that branding,” Heath announced. Standing up, he bent to kiss Victoria, clasped a reassuring hand on Jarrod’s shoulder. For Jenny, a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Stay strong.”

Part 3

Millersburg. Three dusty streets of weathered gray buildings with an air of life passing by unnoticed. The jail sat apart from the town at the end of a dirt road. As if the respectable citizens didn’t want to be contaminated by the occupants. Sheriff Hank Madeira, a tall, lean man with a magnificent red beard, welcomed Jarrod inside. Following Nick’s predawn plan, Jarrod left Jenny and Nick sitting outside in the buggy. Without Jenny knowing, he’d identify Louisa’s jewelry, talk to the men and tell Sheriff Madeira their plan to see if Jenny could recognize them.

“Here it is, Mr. Barkley.”

Sheriff Madeira poured the contents of a small, cloth bag onto the cluttered papers of his desk. Louisa’s mother’s pearls, the clasp engraved with her mother’s name. Jarrod knew those at first glance. A brooch he’d given her for their first anniversary...also engraved with initials and a date. Reaching down into the jumble of necklaces, a bracelet Louisa never wore...hating ‘fussy’ jewelry...Jarrod picked up the plain gold band. Louisa’s wedding ring. Every emotion he’d tried so hard to ignore hit the pit of his stomach in a furious, blinding ache. A flood of forgotten memories threatened to drown him in sorrow. The shape of Louisa’s face in his cupped hand. Her lips meeting his. Those luminous eyes. Her laugh, her tears. Little things he thought suppressed forever. Jarrod’s fingers clenched around the ring, struggling the desire to throw himself down and weep. Inside the ring, engraving worn away from contact with Louisa’s finger, Jarrod could still read the faint word. One word. Cherish.

“Tain’t easy,” Sheriff Madeira commiserated.

“No, it isn’t,” Jarrod agreed.

Sheriff Madeira shifted, floor creaking beneath his feet as he did. “Mr. Barkley, I can’t say those three in there,” he nodded toward a door that led to the cells, “look much like murderers to me. I ain’t say they are or they aren’t...but they look like just kids to me. The oldest ain’t more than twenty.”

“Why were they arrested?”

“Oh, they rode into town, got some liquor in ‘em and commenced to shooting out people’s windows with an old squirrel gun. Folks complained so naturally I locked ‘em up. Figured I’d keep ‘em till they sobered up until I found the jewelry in their saddle bags. Knew I’d got a poster from a Sheriff...” He stopped to shift through the stacks of wanted posters, letters and odds bits and pieces of paper until he came across the one with a description of Louisa’s jewelry. “Sheriff McCaffrey over to Salinas. Course, he didn’t have the wedding ring listed and it’s not all here but I figured it was enough to keep ‘em until you got here.”

“Did they say where they got the jewelry?” Jarrod asked around a hard lump in his throat. His fingers caressed the ring, turning it around and around between his thumb and finger. How had it been taken off her finger? Why hadn’t he noticed that day it was gone?

“Said they won it in a poker game over to Abilene.” Foreseeing Jarrod’s next question, he said,” they told me it was a couple of weeks ago.”

“I want to see them.”

Being a lawyer for so long, Jarrod had become a shrewd judge of character. Not that he’d never seen an innocent faced cold blood murderer. He had. Over the years, he’d lost count of the number of people he’d seen who’d committed murder. Some of them had faces you’d never expect anyone capable of murder to have. Yet, he had to agree with Sheriff Madeira that the three in the cell hardly looked capable of murdering a fly. Just boys, really. Long unwashed, unshaved, dressed in rough wool pants and dark, coarse linen shirts. Not the look of killers but more of hard scrabble farm boys who’d broken tether and gone off to sow some wild oats. As Jarrod and Sheriff Madeira walked toward the cell, the three stood up, moving toward the bars anxiously.

Staring the tallest up and down, Jarrod addressed his first question to him. “Sheriff Madeira tells me you won my wife’s jewelry in a poker game.”

“That’s right,” the boy spoke up readily enough, with nothing to hide, “Abilene, weren’t it Clem?” He asked of the youngest , sandy haired boy, an expression of fear on his pale face. Clem nodded, unable to speak. Jarrod could tell he’d never spent a night in jail before. He’d seen the look. A nervous licking of his lips told Jarrod that Clem, at least, would head back to the farm to hunker down with no intention of ever leaving again.

“Abilene. Did you know the man you won them from?”

“No, mister, we never saw him before.”

“What did he look like?”

“Just regular,” Jeb said.

“A white man,” Clem said helpfully, turning out to be a Counselor’s dream of an ideal witness, “but dark like he spent a lotta time outdoors.”

“Did you notice what color his eyes were? His hair? If he had a beard or anything distinctive about him?”

Clem thought, “Dark eyes, mean. A hard face too.”

“Couldn’t tell about the hair,” Jeb recalled, “he never took off his hat. Black it was with shiny silver chain around the bank.”

“Snake,” the sturdy, ruggedest brother in the middle spoke up. “Member Jeb how some of the other fellows in the game called him Snake?”

Snake. Nate’s dying words had been “snake man.” It fit! Careful to keep his voice level, disguising the excitement of finding information, Jarrod asked, “Had you ever seen him before?”

Clem hung his head, “No, Mister, we ain’t never even been to Abilene before. Never been in trouble before. If Pa hadn’t died a few months back, we’d have never of left the farm.”

“Might know him again if we saw him,” Jeb said, “but we never did see him before. Kinda hope we never see him again. He was a mean one.”

The other two nodded agreement.

“Where were you a year and a half ago?:” Jarrod asked.

“On the farm I reckon. Until Pa died we hadn’t been off the farm in years ‘cept once every six months or so to get supplies in town.” If they’d been under their Pa’s tight rein until a few months ago, Jarrod knew these three hadn’t been near Salinas.

“My wife, my son, my foreman and his wife and three of my ranch hands were murdered in Salinas about a year and half ago,” Jarrod announced. Watched as shock flickered across the three faces to be replaced by identical expressions of outright fright. Clem broke out in a cold sweat visible on his brow.

“Mister, we ain’t never killed anybody!”

Sheriff Madeira’s voice hardened, “Well, just see about that. Mr. Barkley’s little girl’s gonna come in here and see if she can identify the men who killed her Mama. I want you galoots to keep your mouths shut, you hear?”

“But, Sheriff, Mister, we ain’t killed nobody!”

“You hush up!” Sheriff Madeira repeated. “Don’t you say a word to scare her, you hear? If you do, I’ll be keeping you here for the next six months.”

Scared half out of their wits, Jarrod saw Clem’s legs buckle as he sat down on a cot. The rugged middle brother’s face paled while Jeb tried, and failed, to look hardened to any possibility.

Jarrod walked to the front door, motioned Nick to bring Jenny inside. Nick’s plan, which Jarrod had quickly shared with the Sheriff, was for the three to just talk general pleasantries while Jenny got a close enough look at the men. Nick had hoped that if Jenny did recognize the men, she’d give some sign. At the ranch, she’d once seen Ciego in the dark. Unable to make out his face, Jenny had a screaming fit. Considering Nate’s words that two Mexicans had come to the ranch that day, Jarrod figured she’d been frightened because Ciego looked like them. It was worth a try.

As a lawyer’s daughter, Jenny had more than a passing acquaintance with jails. By three, she’d learned to fall asleep not only in a soft, warm bed but on any courthouse bench, Jarrod’s office sofa or a jail cot. Many summer nights in Stockton, while Jarrod worked late, Jenny’d fallen asleep in a jail cell, under Fred’s watchful eyes. Neither Jarrod or Louisa tried to shield the children from the harsher realities of Jarrod’s clients or Louisa’s hard luck charities. While there were some people they protected her from knowing about, Jenny had been wise beyond her years when it came to crime, jails and the business of courthouses.

Nick came in, holding tight to Jenny’s hand. “Howdy, Sheriff, I’m Nick Barkley.”

“Mr. Barkley...I was just asking your brother here if you had much cattle rusting going on down your way?”

Motioning for Jenny to come stand by his side, Jarrod made sure she could see through the open door to the cell while Nick and the Sheriff pretended to carry on a conversation neither was interested in. All eyes watched Jenny. Jarrod kept careful guard over her as she studied the prisoners with some interest. After a few minutes, Jarrod realized that’s all it was... interest. No fear. No recognition. Just inquisitive curiosity.

Over Jenny’s head, Jarrod shrugged. Nick, raring for justice to be done, paced over to glare at the men in the cell. Pounding his fist into his black leather gloved hand, Nick scowled at the three. Jeb paled visibly under his intense gaze. Even the middle brother backed up, his legs buckling as they hit the cot where he sat down heavily.

Nick’s stare–as if the men were ready to be strung up any second–undid Clem who shouted, "Little girl! Tell ‘em we didn’t kill your Mama!”

Horror stricken, Jenny stared at him.

“I told you men to keep still!” Sheriff Madeira roared. “I’m sure sorry, Mr. Barkley.”

Jarrod motioned to him that it was all right. Taking a reluctant Jenny by the hand, he led her away from the open door to the cell. Stooping down so they were eye to eye, he told her, “Jenny, I need you to be brave. You need to look at the men in there. After you do, you need to tell me if you saw them at the ranch the day Mama and Nicky died.”

Even to him, his voice sounded hard, unyielding.

Betrayed. The expression on Jenny’s face said it all. Why are you making me do this, Daddy? If she’d spoken the words out loud, he couldn’t have heard them plainer. Almost as if it were a physical entity, Jarrod felt her trust in him begin to slip away. Staring straight back into his eyes, Jenny’s mouth formed the word, “no.”

“Jennifer,” sternly, “you must do this.”

Backing away, Jenny shook her head no. Jarrod hated to force her. Hated himself for having to force her. He grabbed her by the shoulders, held tight. “You will look at them and tell me the truth.”

“No!” She shouted. “I didn’t see anyone!”

“You did. You saw someone at the house that day,” Jarrod pressed relentlessly on, shaking her a little to emphasize he meant business. “You told me you saw five men. Look at these men and tell me if they are some of them.”

“No!” Jenny lied, resisting now, struggling to get away from Jarrod’s firm hold on her arms, “I didn’t see anyone. You can’t make me tell!”

“Look at them!” I sound like Nick, he thought, fury and thunder. How can I be doing this to my child?

Letting go to get a firmer grip on one arm, Jarrod almost lost Jenny as she tried to run from him. Just as she slipped through his fingers, he caught up to her grabbing her in a tight, hurting hold.
“You’re hurting me, Daddy,” she protested. Jarrod ignored her, marching her to the cell. No easy job with her struggling, pulling frantically away.

“Look at them!” He commanded.

“Pappy,” Nick interrupted, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea...”

“Shut up, Nick! This was your idea!” Forcing Jenny’s chin up, holding her head Jarrod made her look at the scared, sweating trio in the cell. Crying now, Jenny looked up only because he refused to let her look away.

“Did you see these men?”

“No,” Jenny sobbed, tears coursing across her cheeks, “I never saw any of them.”

A collective sigh of relief went up from the men. After this ordeal, Jarrod expected them all to high tail it back to their farm and stay there until they went out six feet under.

Jarrod released his hold on Jenny. She ran to Nick, clung to him crying, “Please, Uncle Nick, take me home.”

Picking her up, Nick pressed her face into his shoulder, patting her back he began to croon, “Shhh, it’s okay now, little Jenny. It’s okay.”

Part 4

Heath stopped pounding nails in fence posts. Standing up, he took time to stretch the ache out of his back. Glanced off to the left. Looked like Jenny still sat where he’d left her. Taking off his hat, he wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of an arm. Boy howdy, sure looked cooler under those shade trees than it did out here with the sun beating a man into the ground. Might be he deserved a break and a cool drink of water.

Jenny looked up when Heath sat down, leaning back against a tree. While Heath drank hearty from the canteen he’d had cooling in the tall grasses, Jenny went back to doing what she’d been doing ever since she sat down. Yanking up tufts of grass, flinging them into the wind. Mad at the world. Or just, Heath thought with a quirk of his lips, two brothers in the world named Barkley.

“They tricked me, Uncle Heath,” Jenny told him after that trip to Millersburg. Thankfully, going there hadn’t caused any of their fears about Jenny to come true. Sure, she’d been scared plenty, cried half the way back Nick said. But by the time the buggy stopped out front of the house, Jenny’s been spitting mad. Flounced out of that buggy, ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door so hard china danced and rattled in the kitchen downstairs. If looks could’ve killed, Jarrod and Nick would’ve been laid out in the parlor in their Sunday best by now, waiting for the eulogies. As far as Heath knew, Jenny hadn’t spoken a word to either of them since they’d got back from Millersburg. He’d been a little surprised Jenny wanted to check fence with him, then again, it use to be one of her favorite chores...handing him the nails while he wielded a hammer.

“Uncle Heath? Did you ever lie to anybody?”

“Sure.”

“When you were a little boy did you lie?”

“Sometimes.” Heath wondered where this conversation was leading.

“Did you get punished?”

“Sometimes.”

Jumping up, Jenny brushed the grass off her yellow skirt. Walking over, she sat down beside Heath, leaning up against him. “They tricked me, Uncle Heath. Daddy and Uncle Nick.” Still angry, she got heated up just talking about their treachery, “Daddy talked very mean to me. Uncle Nick he talked all smooth and all, but Daddy said it was his idea to take me to Millersburg. Why didn’t they just ask me, Uncle Heath?”

Jenny, he groaned inside, why do you have to ask me all the hard questions?

“Well, now, little one, don’t you think they might have been worried how you’d take it? Having to look at those men?”

“Were they scared, Daddy and Uncle Nick...because I’m so afraid all the time? Did they think it might hurt too much if I saw those men?”

Not surprised that Jenny had figured that out on her own, Heath nodded.

“I don’t like to be afraid,” Jenny said so forlornly it wrenched Heath’s heart. “And having everybody always look at me like they might cry. Grandma and Aunt Audra. And my Daddy, “ Jenny put her small hand on top of his, “even when he smiles at me he looks so sad. It’s because I can’t be brave like he is, isn’t it Uncle Heath?”

Tears blurred Jenny’s face as Heath looked down at her, patting the top of her head when he couldn’t make his voice give her an answer. “Is it Uncle Heath?” She asked again.

Working hard to keep his voice steady, Heath shook his head. “Jarrod wouldn’t ever think that about you, Jenny. He loves you no matter whether you’re brave or not.”

Jenny searched his face, not quite believing him. Words of explanation jumbled in confusion in Heath’s mind. How best to explain to Jenny? When he couldn’t explain, Jenny sighed turning to face the meadow in front of them. For a little while, the two sat quietly. A gentle breeze
brushed across their faces, waving the yucca and tall grasses they could see. Birds trilled a sweet lullaby as Heath felt his body relax, drifting into a right peaceful nap. Just as he was about to doze off, lulled into slumber by the scent of sun drenched pine, Jenny whispered.

“Uncle Heath? I lied to my Daddy.”

Jolted wide awake, Heath kept still. Waiting. Casually, he asked, “What about?”

“I told him I never saw anybody that day...” Voice breaking, Jenny stopped, found enough courage to go on and said, “the day Mama and Nicky went to live with the angels.”

“Did you?”

An eternity, although it might have only been a few minutes, stretched after Heath’s question. It was hard to be patient, not to press Jenny for an answer. But Heath had an abundance of patience, of knowing when and how to wait.

Finally, a slow, hesitant nod.

“Men you’d seen before?”

“Not all of them.”

“How many?”

“One.” She confessed.

Heath’s heart throbbed with excitement. Would she tell him enough to find the men who’d caused all this grief and tragedy? “Did you know his name?”

A frantic head shake. No. Reluctantly, Jenny struggled on. Remembering scenes that might have been the cause of too many nightmares to count. “I saw him before.”

“Where?”

“At our house. Once he came to talk to Mama. When Daddy found out, he got awful angry. He yelled and yelled at Mama an’ told her never, ever let him come back there.” Jenny swallowed hard. Turning to look up into Heath’s face, she confided softly, “Mama cried.”

“Did you ever see him again?”

Whatever happened had frightened her so badly, Jenny didn’t want to tell him more. Tense with fear, she began to knead her hands in the hem of the yellow dress she wore. Should he press for more? Was there enough information in what Jenny said that Jarrod might recall the man?

“Where’d you see him, Jenny?”

“A couple of months later...in the orchard. Me and Nicky and Daddy were walking in the orchard and the man came back. Daddy said...” Heath could feel her heart fluttering with fear, “Daddy told him if he ever came back bothering us again he’d shoot him. The man cursed Daddy and Daddy drew his gun on him and told him to go away.”

Surely, Jarrod would remember a man he’d had to order away from the ranch. Still, if Jenny could give him more details...

“What’d this man look like?”

“Just a cowboy,” Jenny shrugged. Unwilling to give him more.

Heath waited, twirling one of Jenny’s curls around his fingers. Casually, with his free hand, he handed her the canteen. Let her take a drink. “Must have been something about this man...something different than the other cowboys you’ve seen. “

“He had a fancy hat....black with a shiny, silver chain around the band. He rode a Palomino too, a real pretty one like Betsy Watkins’ red haired brother rides.”

He knew the horse. A Palomino that looked like that would be an eye catcher all right.

“What about his hair? What color was it?”

“Coal black,” Jenny answered without hesitation, “with a white streak right here.” She pointed to the right side of her head.

Something about the hair sounded familiar. Now who had he seen that had hair that color, with the white streak? Had he seen it or just heard someone else describe it? Heath’s mind worried it a few minutes like a dog gnawing a bone. No, it wouldn’t come.

“Was there..”

Suddenly, Jenny jumped up. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” Almost as if she’d made up her mind to be brave, as Jarrod would want, then terrified herself with memories too painful to speak. “I don’t remember anything else. I don’t!”

Heath stood up quickly, folded her into his arms holding her tight.

“I’m too scared to tell the rest,” she whispered, starting to cry. “I can’t be brave! I can’t!”

“Sure you can, you’re the bravest little girl I know, Jenny.”

“The snake,” Jenny sobbed, clearly terrified by the memory, “the bloody snake.”

“That’s all she’d tell me, Jarrod,” Heath told him later that day. “No matter what else I asked she’d start to get upset an’ cry. Figured I’d better get Jenny back here to Mother so she could get her calmed down.”

Jarrod paled. Sat down, stunned. Forgive me, Louisa, forgive me. I should never have left you alone. Defenseless.

“Jarrod, you okay?” Heath made a move to grab Jarrod if he fell forward on his face..which by the looks of him might happen any second. “Did you know him?”

“Him. It couldn’t have been him.”

“Who?” Heath asked.

“That day in the orchard, I should have killed him. How was I to know he’d come back!”

“You know who it was then?”

Jarrod leaned over the desk, buried his face in his hands. When he answered his voice came so quietly Heath stepped closer to hear. “Yes, I know who it was. Judson.”

Judson.

A quick intake of breath. Judson McKay...the coal black hair with the white streak. Heath had never met the man, but he’d heard him described. Heard details about his life from one of the people who’d know him best. His cousin.

Louisa Barkley.

Part 5

“Tell me about Judson, Jarrod.”

Heath ached with Jarrod’s pain but wasn’t sure how to help. Except to listen. “Can’t recall you ever talking about him. Louisa mentioned him once or twice. From what she said, I can’t picture him bein’ the one who’d kill her.”

A faint smile crossed Jarrod’s lips. “No, she wouldn’t have painted a true picture of Judson with her words. Louisa always thought...” The smile faded as Jarrod’s words trailed off.

“There was good in everybody.” Heath finished.

“Tragic, isn’t it Heath? That being wrong ended her life?”

There was no answer for that. Heath thought, though he didn’t share it with Jarrod, that Louisa probably would rather have died believing in Judson’s innate goodness, than to have ever believed him capable of evil.

“Are you sure it was him? Jenny might be confused. Maybe she saw him another time if he came visiting...”

Jarrod’s laugh was bitter. “Judson McKay did not ever come visiting at my home. Not invited anyway. I dare say there weren’t many homes in the state of California where he’d be welcome.”

“Could Jenny have seen him somewhere else? Somewhere Louisa might have introduced her.”

“No, Heath. My children did not know Judson...not by name. If I’d had my way, neither of them would ever have known he existed. If Jenny says she saw Judson the day Louisa died, there’s no doubt in my mind.” Pain furrowed Jarrod’s brow, voice ragged he said, “He killed her.”

Standing up quickly, Jarrod went to pour himself a stiff drink. He downed it in one bracing gulp, poured himself a second and a third which he drank in rapid succession. Heath perched on a corner of the desk watching and waiting. If Jarrod planned to get drunk quick to deaden the pain, he reckoned the least he could do would be to stay and nurse him through it.

“What makes you so sure?”

The question stopped Jarrod from pouring a fourth drink. Carefully, he sat down the whiskey decanter and glass on the table. The drinks seemed to have restored the color to Jarrod’s face. Braced him to face the past. Deliberately, as if facing a jury to convince them of his sincerity, Jarrod sat back down behind the desk. Hands folded in front of him, he answered calmly, “If you knew the Judson McKay I knew Heath, you wouldn’t have to ask.”

“Tell me,” Heath prompted. Turned to look Jarrod square in the face.

“Did you ever hear of a McKay family from Bakersfield?”

“McKay? Yeah, come to think of it wasn’t there some kind of scandal? They found a young girl...” Details surfaced in Heath’s memory. An article in a newspaper about a sweet faced, dark haired girl just 14 years old. For two weeks the town folks searched for her. Shocked when they found her brutally murdered, hidden in a cave. A cave on land belong to a wealthy rancher named Jackson McKay.

“Her name was Lilly. She was Louisa’s best friend.”

Dredging up more details, Heath asked, “She’d been murdered and they never found out who killed her.”

“Judson killed her.” Jarrod’s matter of fact reply chilled Heath to the core.

“Louisa told you this?”

“Louisa.” Jarrod laughed again, a hard laugh with no humor or warmth behind it. “No, she never believed him guilty. Refused to believe. Unless in those last few minutes before she knew..”

Heath didn’t have to ask what Jarrod meant. He knew. In Louisa’s last seconds of life, looking into the eyes of the last face she’d see on this earth, she must have known the truth.

“If Louisa didn’t tell you, how do you know?”

“Everyone knew it,” Jarrod said scornfully, “Mr. McKay was a very successful rancher. He bought the judge, the jury, everyone knew it. Everyone except Louisa.”

“What happened to Judson then?”

“Mr. McKay got scared after that. There’d been signs before that Judson wasn’t quite right. Louisa told me that his mother had always said he was a bad seed, “marked by the devil”. Lilly’s murder finally drove Mrs. McKay into an insane asylum. Jackson had blinded himself to his son’s flaws for years but after they found Lilly he decided Judson needed more discipline.”

“He sent him off to a military academy?”

Jarrod nodded.

“A year later, another cadet died under mysterious circumstances. He’d just happened to have crossed Judson once too often.”

“Couldn’t anyone ever prove he was guilty?”

Jarrod shook his head no. “For years, Jackson McKay bought him out of trouble. Finally, he’d lost everything...his ranch, his fortune..there was nothing left. Eventually, he was found dead with again, the finger pointing to Judson.”

Neither of them spoke. Both thinking of the waste of several lives, the murder of a young girl and Louisa, who thorough it all had believed that deep down people had good hearts. Even her cousin, Judson.

Sighing, Jarrod took up the story again. “Louisa hadn’t seen him in years. He showed up in San Francisco after we were first married. I met him first there. He was wild but it was more...he frightened me.”

Heath looked up started at Jarrod’s admission. Jarrod Barkley was not a man who was easily frightened. Looking back, Jarrod stopped speaking a few minutes. Heath started at the sound of a horse snorting off in the distance, Nick shouting from somewhere outside the house. Until that second, he’d forgotten there was a world surrounding them. A normal, everyday world far removed from the past of a man named Judson McKay.

“I forbade her to see him.”

Heath couldn’t help a chuckle, “Kinda like waving a red flag at a bull , huh?”

“A little like that.” Jarrod smiled in return. Fondly, Louisa on his mind, he took Heath back to those days in San Francisco. “I knew, of course, that she met with him once or twice in the city. Gave him money. Judson always needed more money. I began to suspect that Judson was pressuring her for more and more money.”

“Wasn’t there anything you could do?”

Sadly, Jarrod shook his head. “Once Jenny and Nicky were born, I think even Louisa had begun to see it wasn’t wise to give him more money. He came back once when Jenny was a baby...I was waiting for him...He didn’t come back.”

“Later, we heard he’d been arrested for trying to rob a bank. That he was in a Mexican jail. Whatever Louisa thought, she kept to herself. I can’t begin to tell you how relieved I felt then..like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.”

Jarrod stood up, stretching he walked toward the window looking out at a sunset Louisa would never see. “It was a shock when he turned up in Salinas. Louisa gave him money. Told him not to come back. She promised me..”

“Was that when you yelled and yelled, “ Jarrod turned a thoughtful, questioning gaze on Heath, who explained, “Jenny told me.”

“Oh, yes I suppose it was. Promises. I was so stupid!” Ramming a fist into the wall, relieved some of Jarrod’s anger. When he turned to face Heath, his eyes were cold and hard as iron. “I left her there defenseless against that ruthless...” Not finding a word apt enough, Jarrod groaned instead. “Why didn’t I just kill him when he came back? That day in the orchard I should have killed him. If I’d seen a rabid dog coming toward my children, I’d have shot it down without a instant’s thought. Judson McKay was much more dangerous. I let him walk away...walk away to come back and kill my wife and two of my children and just about destroy Jenny’s life.”

“You couldn’t have known, Jarrod.”

Jarrod turned his rage on Heath, “Yes,” he spoke with deadly venom, “I did know. Those boys in Millersburg said someone called him Snake. It describes him...coiled, venomous and deadly. Our entire lives together, Louisa’s and mine, Judson McKay was lying in wait to strike, I’ll never forgive myself for not realizing that sooner.”

“What happens now?”

“Now, Heath,” Jarrod spoke with the same fierce anger, “we find him. And then I do one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.”

Quietly, Heath waited.

“I take my precious little girl, I force her to relive a day she’s hidden from for a year and half and then I ruthlessly put her on the witness stand to put a rope around Judson McKay’s neck.”

Part 6

“Changes in the weather, Sam, old boy,” Sheriff McCaffrey warned himself that afternoon. Standing on the boardwalk in front of the Salinas Jail, he enjoyed the hint of a breeze with enough heat to warm a man’s bones. Wouldn’t last long he knew. Not the way these old bones felt the cold creeping in. Didn’t get as cold here in the valley’s as it did up in the high Sierras though. Sam shivered involuntarily remembering the deep snow, breath numbing cold he’d experienced in earlier days. Still, once the rainy season came, it’d be cold enough.

“Howdy, Sam.”

“Hey, there, Bob, how’s things down to the Livery?” He asked the short, stocky man coming toward him, bringing along the aroma of horse perfume.

“Slow,” Bob drawled, “Stage came in awhile ago with a letter for you. Thought I’d tote it on over in case it’s somethin’ important.”

Bob handed it over with the reverent air of a man who’d never gotten a letter. Which, in truth, he hadn’t. He wiped his hands carefully down the front of a dirty, plaid shirt, brushed them off for good measure on his equally soiled pants before reaching into a back pocket and pulling out the envelope. After handing it to Sheriff McCaffrey, he stepped back a respectful distance to await news of the contents. Just in case the Sheriff cared to share.

“Writes a fine hand, whoever it be from,” the Sheriff squinted at the address. Turning the letter over he noticed the ornate B in sealing wax. Brought him in mind of the Barkley brand..cept he hadn’t heard from any Barkleys in awhile. He reckoned the last time was when Mr. Heath Barkley came to look into affairs about the ranch.

“Come on in, Bob. I got a pot of coffee on the back of the stove.”

Eager to hear what might be in the letter, Bob agreed readily. The two old codgers, Sheriff McCaffrey stiffly, Bob a little more spry entered the office. Bob poured out two cups of barely warm coffee while Sheriff McCaffrey gingerly eased his aches and pains into the chair behind his desk. Eyeing the letter, Bob sat the Sheriff’s mug of coffee on the desk. Sure looked to be fine paper, more’n one page of writing too. Must be good news by the bemused smile on the Sheriff’s face. Bob wouldn’ve hated to be the bearer of bad news.

Bob had just settled back in another chair, eyes on Sheriff McCaffrey as his lips moved over the words in the letter, when the Sheriff bolted up out of that chair like a scalded cat.

“If that ain’t the dang best news I’ve heard! Little girl told ‘em who it was!”

Shocked by the outburst, Bob tried to undo the damage a mug of coffee, startled out of a man’s hand did to the front of his shirt. Sure would be hard explaining to the wife how he’d spilled coffee all down his chest at his age. “Sheriff, you done scared about twenty year’s growth out of me. What little girl?”

“The little Barkley girl! This here’s from Jarrod Barkley.” Sam, aches and pains forgotten for the moment, just about pranced around the office, reading off bits of the letter to Bob. “She done got well and identified the man that killed her Mama and the others out at the Barkley ranch. Miz Barkley’s cousin, it was.”

“You don’t say.”

“I do say!” Sam slapped the letter against his leg, “If that don’t beat all. Have to admit to you, them murders been sticking in my craw these past years. Couldn’t never find the scum that shot up all them folks out at the Barkley ranch. If this don’t beat all.”

Bob nodded, having heard the story, along with Sam’s complaints over his imagined bungling of the investigation, many times before. They’d been old friends too long to have secrets. It was kinda nice, Bob thought, seeing old Sam in this jubilant mood. “Now you got the answers, huh, Sam?”

“I got better’n answers, Bob,” Sheriff McCafferty sat down, got back up couldn’t keep still. Too keyed up over the letter and what it meant. “Sheriff over to Denver’s got one Judson McKay in a jail cell at this very minute,” He held out the letter to Bob, pointing to words on the page that Bob had never learned to read, “an’ he’s bringing him here within the week to stand trial. When’s that circuit judge come through here?”

Sam asked the question, throwing the letter in Bob’s lap. Rummaging around on his desk, pulling out drawers looking for the calendar, he shuffled papers tossing them out of his way hither and you. Bob’s eyes widened in surprise. Sure couldn’t remember seeing Sam this keyed up in years. “Here tis! Three weeks. Judge Grayson’s coming through in about three weeks. Three weeks from today there’s gonna be a trial here.” The light of revenge shining in his hazel eyes, Sheriff McCaffrey finally sat down, stayed down. “He’s gonna pay...finally.”

Jarrod was late getting home that evening. Deliberately late. He’d waited in his Stockton office while the sunset faded beyond the window, turned to purple twilight and then the deep blackness of a moonless night. He’d sat, still as if set in stone, his hands steepled together, thinking about Jenny. About the best way to tell her what she had to do... If she would...

Not long after that disastrous trip to Millersburg, Jenny had decided to forgive him and Nick. Despite the worry that crowded his mind, Jarrod had to smile. Well, brother, he’d said as much to Nick, we sure botched that one. Jenny had refused to speak to either of them for a week. If they kissed her, she made sure they watched her rub the kisses off. It had been one thing, Jarrod had found out, to have a daughter unable to speak to him and quite another a daughter who refused because he’d deceived her. Having Jenny angry at him was not something he cared to repeat anytime soon. But even an angry Jenny was to be preferred over a Jenny he’d pushed back into fear.

Sitting in the dark, he’d dreaded having to go home. Waiting stubbornly until he knew Jenny had been put to bed. Putting off the time when he’d have to tell her...

Jenny’s week of anger profited them all in one way. She’d confided in Heath that Judson had been at the house the day Louisa died. Her statements, along with the three brother’s who’d won Louisa’s jewelry in the poker game, had offered enough evidence that Judson had something to do with the crime. While Jarrod had do doubts Judson killed Louisa, he had no proof, no real evidence except a gut instinct. If Jenny would just tell them...give them solid information that would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt...it might help. Problem was, after a few brief confidences to Heath, Jenny seemed to have made up her mind to put that day behind her. If Jarrod asked her a pointed question, she’d press her lips together tight and refuse to answer. While he had never tolerated deliberate defiant behavior in either of his children, he faced a dilemma. How could you punish a child who had possibly seen her mother murdered and refused to tell? He couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

Without saying so in so many words, the family had agreed to follow Jenny’s lead. If she spoke about Louisa or Nicky, and Jenny rarely did, they made a response or waited for her to say more. Yet even with Heath, who happened to be a tad more patient than any other Barkley and more receptive to Jenny’s confidences, she rarely spoke about the day none of the rest of them could forget completely. Each day more of her fear receded, if she wasn’t reminded about Salinas.

Jarrod stared down at the letter on his desk. The letter that forced them all back to that day in July at Barkley Ranch South. A letter that could destroy his daughter or let a man like Judson McKay go free.


“Mother!” He exclaimed in whispers, coming into the darkened house that night. “I thought everyone would be in bed by now.”

“I waited up, just in case you came home.” Barely concealing her excitement, Victoria put her arm though his, drawing him toward a dying fire in the parlor. “I couldn’t wait to tell you. Nick got Jenny to ride Fancy today.”

“Well, now, brother Nick is a better man than I am!” Pure joy warned Jarrod’s heart. For a brief second, he forgot the news he had to share. Remembering, the happiness died. Although his lips smiled, his eyes grieved. “That is good news.”

“What’s wrong, Jarrod?”

Without speaking, he handed her the letter. Went to lean heavily against the mantel, to stare into the embers of the fire as if it could give him an answer.

“Three weeks until the trial?” Victoria read out loud. “Oh, good, Matt Blanchette is the Prosecuting Attorney. Jenny knows him, she’s spent enough time playing with his children that she won’t be afraid of him. And he has children of his own, he’s use to handling them.”

“Aren’t you forgetting, Mother? We’ve never told Jenny she’s going to have to testify? “

“She’s a very smart little girl. Don’t you think she knows?”

“Even if she does know, she’s too young to understand what being in that courtroom will mean.
She’s going to have to look at Judson. She’s going to have to remember every detail. She’s going to have to know what telling the truth will mean to Judson.”

Quietly, Victoria put her arm around Jarrod’s waist. Pressed him in a reassuring hug.

“Is she strong enough, Mother?”

“I think,” she answered looking up into her son’s face, “that Jenny is the only one who can tell us that. You’re going to have to talk to her.”

“I know.”

There didn’t seem to be anything more to say. Wishing him a good night, giving him a kiss and another hug, Victoria went upstairs to bed. Jarrod stood beside the fire, plumbing it’s depths for wisdom and strength. Knowing he’d never be able to sleep, he stirred up the fire with a poker, added a log and pulled up a chair closer to the flames.

“Daddy?”

“And what are you doing out of bed, little lady?” He asked, turning to see Jenny in a long, white nightgown, bare feet tiptoeing toward his chair. She came closer, rubbing sleep from her eyes, pouting a little as she answered, “I didn’t get to see you all day. You were gone when I got up and you never came home to kiss me good night.”

He noticed her shivering, pulled off his blue suit coat and wrapped it snugly around her shoulders before he pulled her up into his lap. Yawning, Jenny snuggled into his chest. So content if she were a kitten he might have expected her to purr.

“I heard you rode Fancy today.”

A sleepy nod. “Um..Uncle Nick dared me so I hadta.”

“He would.”

They sat quietly for awhile, the warmth of the fire on their faces. Jarrod thought Jenny had fallen asleep when she stirred. Looking down he saw her eyes were wide awake, staring into the fire. It might not be the best time, Jarrod decided, but he had to talk to her now. Matt Blanchette expected to arrive in Stockton the day after tomorrow to talk to what he considered his star witness. If Jenny knew enough to tell them anything....

“Jenny, I have to tell you something.” He tightened his hold on her, drawing her head closer to his heart. “I need you to be a brave enough girl to listen. Can you do that for Daddy?”

A slight nod.

“We need to talk about Mama and Nicky.”

He felt her stiffen, but she didn’t pull away.

“Mama and Nicky need us, you especially, to do something for them.”

“They’re dead,” Jenny said for the first time.

“Yes, they are, “ he squeezed her tighter, trying to give her strength to listen, “but we can still do something for them. We can give them justice.”

He didn’t have to explain justice to Jenny. Justice, or the lack of it, was a constant topic of conversation in either Barkley home. Jenny understood justice like another child might know the rules of jumping rope. Right or wrong, Nicky and Jenny both possessed a keen sense of justice.

As gently as he could, Jarrod told her about Judson. While she listened, eyes growing wider and wider, he told her about the trial, what would happen and what she would have to do. After he finished, she looked into his face incredulously. Not quite believing he could ask this of her.
Sensing her reluctance, Jarrod told her the decision he’d made earlier that night. “I won’t make you do this, Jenny. If you don’t think that you can, we will never speak of it again. I won’t be angry or expect you to do this if you can’t. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

Giving her a chance to think, Jarrod waited. Restraining his impatience, his hope that she would chose what he felt was the right choice.

“I don’t think I’m brave enough, Daddy.”

Jarrod sighed. His mind raced for an answer to strengthen her. “You can be brave, Jenny. Do you know why Mama and I named you after both your grandmother’s?” She shook her head no. “Because they are both strong, courageous women. And you, Jennifer Victoria Barkley, have their blood flowing through you. You have that same courage and strength and you don’t ever have to be afraid of anyone or anything.”

A tear dripped down Jenny’s face, plopped on Jarrod’s hand. Followed quickly by more. “I want to be brave, but I’m not.”

“You are brave, Jenny. Remember the time you saved Nicky’s life by killing the snake? And the time you climbed down from that tree by the side of the house? Remember? You were about 40 feet up. Nate and I couldn’t get a ladder high enough and I knew I’d never be able to climb those small branches to get you down. Who was it who climbed fearlessly down?”

“Me,” Jenny answered around her tears, “and when I got down you spanked me.”

“You might have been killed falling from so high,” Jarrod tapped her nose playfully, “and if I remember you’d been warned once or twice not to climb that tree.”

“I know. I knew you would when I got down.”

“Then why’d you climb up there in the first place?”

“Daddy,” Exasperated, furiously wiping away her tears, sounding more like Jenny, she said, “Nicky dared me. I had to climb it.”

Neither of them spoke for a minute or two. Jarrod prayed for strength..what Jenny thought he couldn’t have said. Not until she spoke, “Daddy? I think I’m scared to go to court.”

Jarrod hid his disappointment. He’d come to the conclusion, that even if there were not enough evidence to convict Judson and he went free, he wouldn’t force Jenny to testify. Jenny had to be more important to him than justice or vengeance or any other intangible thing a trial might offer.
He started to tell her he understood. Clearing his throat, he opened his mouth to speak, stopping when Jenny reached up to touch his face. Her eyes met his in perfect, complete trust.

“But I will.”

Part 7

“You and Louisa have raised a remarkable little girl,” Matt Blanchette pronounced.

Leaning against the paddock fence, Jarrod accepted the compliment. Grateful that he and Matt had finally found the time for a private talk since Matt’s conversation with Jenny. Two days before, Matt had been welcomed to the Barkley Ranch. He’d spent the first day getting reacquainted with the family who all knew him from Salinas. Most importantly, he’d brought small gifts from his daughters to Jenny. Abigail Blanchette and Jenny had gone to school together in Salinas, spending hours at each other’s homes. Abigail had two younger sisters, one just Nicky’s age, and the five of them had spent many happy hours playing together. Jenny thought of Matt more as the father of her best friend than as a lawyer like her father. That Jenny accepted him readily, without the slightest fear or hesitation, filled Jarrod with hope and relief that the trial would be less fearful for her.

“You haven’t asked me what Jenny told me.”

“I assume she gave you the information you need to prosecute Judson or you would have told me as much.” Jarrod was of two minds. Part of him hungered to know every detail of Louisa’s last day. Another part wanted it all to end, be gone, buried forever. He wanted time to swirl around it like a mist and block his view backward. Instead he felt propelled forward, rushing toward details he’d have to hear. Painful truths that might haunt him forever.

“She did indeed,” Matt answered. “It’s a tribute to your family that your daughter has come out of this tragedy as unscathed as she has.”

“She still has scars,” Jarrod told him, “I fear she always will.”

“Perhaps.”

Both of them glanced across the area enclosed by the white fence. Heath had finally gotten a saddle on a horse they’d been trying to break for months. Jenny and Audra sat side by side on the top rung of the fence across from the men. In matching gray riding skirts topped with blue linen blouses, they looked almost like a big and little sister. Jenny’s hair had been pulled back by a wide blue ribbon . Giving her an older look that caused Jarrod a pang or two. Heath leaned up to say something to them that caused Audra to smile and Jenny to clasp her hand over her mouth giggling. It never ceased to amaze him that Jenny could laugh again...that she did despite everything she’d been through so far. Each laugh was a miracle.

“You think her testimony will help?”

Matt didn’t answer right away. When Jarrod glanced at him, he saw that Matt’s eyes glistened with tears. He’d known Matt for years as an opponent in many a courtroom battle and they’d been friends outside the courthouse walls longer than that. In all that time, he’d never seen Matt’s face, despite the tears, hardened into rage.

“Jenny knows everything that happened in that house. Her story is heartbreaking. I promise you I will do everything in my power to see that Judson McKay pays for what he has done to your family...especially what he’s caused your daughter to live through.”



On the private Barkley railroad car, bound for Salinas, Jarrod was momentarily alone. A little earlier, Nick and Heath had gone forward on the train looking for a card game to alleviate their boredom. Fettered in unaccustomed suits, both men should have been back on the ranch but there was no question that every member of the family would accompany Jarrod and Jenny to Salinas.

A door at the end of the car opened and Victoria came through. Reaching back she closed the door softly. “She’s asleep. I went ahead and gave her some of the paregoric Dr. Merar sent.”

“Was she still upset?”

Victoria shook her head. Pouring herself a cup of coffee from the silver coffee service on the table in front of Jarrod, she sat down beside him. “No more than she has been. Audra and I both just thought she was so tense that it might be better if she slept a little. Audra’s going to sit with her awhile in case she should wake back up before we arrive.”

“Have we made the right decision? Is this too difficult for her? She’s barely eaten. She can’t sleep.”

“Jenny wants to testify. More than that, I’m beginning to think that Nick and Heath are right, Jenny needs to testify to put this behind her.”

“Is she ever going to be able to do that?”

Jarrod didn’t say that even he had trouble putting that day behind him. He pondered the depths of his misery in silence.

“It’s hard going back isn’t it?” Victoria asked, proving that her wisdom had again cut to the heart of his somber, quiet mood.

Giving her a wry smile, Jarrod thought that hard was not a word he’d use to describe the current torments of his mind. “There are too many memories.”

“There always are,” Victoria spoke simply, quietly but with a depth of feeling Jarrod hadn’t noticed before, “but eventually when the memories are all you have, you will learn to cherish them.”

For the first time in a long time, Jarrod realized a truth he’d forgotten. “Lovely lady, I’ve been so self centered that I forgot you have been down this same path when Father died. Forgive me.”

Victoria patted his arm. “Grief is like that. It has a way of pulling you in on yourself until nothing else, no one else matters. Of course, when you have children, you can’t just give into it all the way but yes, Jarrod, I’ve always known exactly how much it hurts.”

Both of them sat lost in thoughts of Louisa and Tom, embracing some memories and pushing away others. It was Victoria who at last broke the silence. “It was wonderful of the Blanchette’s to invite us to stay at their ranch. It will be better for Jenny than having to stay in the hotel.”

Jarrod agreed. It would give Jenny a chance to renew her friendship with Abigail. Also, the Blanchette Ranch offered much needed protection for Jenny during the early days of the trial as Jarrod, Sheriff McCaffrey and the Peterson brothers testified. Judson had been caught but there had been four other men with him. No one had ever been able to find out their names. Judson refused to cooperate by telling. If by some chance they decided to reappear to help Judson, Jenny had to be kept safe from harm. Matt wanted to hold off calling Jenny to the witness stand as long as possible. If enough evidence were presented in the early stages of the trial, he might not need Jenny at all. It was a vain hope.


Looking at Judson McKay in the courtroom, Jarrod fought down the rage and hatred rising in him. It threatened to choke him as bile rose in his mouth. Blood throbbing in his head, he stared through a red haze at the man who’d killed almost everything he held dear. Yet, his anger was nothing compared to Nick who saw Judson for the first time. Enraged, Nick bolted toward Judson, intent possibly on a quick end to the trial. Sheriff McCafferty had one of his deputies (he’d sworn in extras for the duration of the trial) pull Nick off, half drag him outside where he laid down the law on proper courtroom behavior. Grudgingly, Nick accepted the rules and was allowed to return.

Once Jarrod was sworn in, the questions began. Predictable. Expected.

“How do you know Judson McKay?”

“Was he ever at your home in Salinas? Did he threaten you? Your family?”

He testified, dredging up the day he’d come riding home to find Louisa and Nicky murdered.
Judson sat by his attorney, a slick, shyster Jarrod had come across before, Anthony Corda. Judson’s arrogance, he hadn’t even tried to hide or cover the white streak in that coal black hair Jenny remembered, was insulting. Every word Jarrod spoke was met with a smirking grin. And why not? Judson had been through murder trials before; each time he walked away a free man. Jarrod tried to look at him as little as possible, staring instead at a knothole on the back of the courtroom wall or keeping his eyes on Matt as he asked the questions.

After leaving the courtroom that first day, he went outside and wept. Each question had opened wounds he thought long healed. It was like having a huge, gaping wound just beginning to heal and then each time you moved or breathed it ripped open, with a searing pain worse than the original wound. Reliving the day he’d found Louisa and Nicky was worse than actually finding them. That day, he’d been numb with shock, worried about finding Jenny. Sitting on the witness stand there was nothing to dull the pain.

Sheriff McCafferty. The Peterson brothers. A rancher’s wife who thought she’d seen Judson a day before twenty miles from Barkley Ranch South. They all testified. Judge Grayson listened. The jury, a mixed group of men, sat with sober, hidden opinions. Jarrod, who’d tried to guess the motivations of countless juries could not tell which way this one would be swayed.

“Jarrod, we’re going to have to call Jenny to the witness stand.”

“I’ve known that all along,” Jarrod answered Matt..

“Can you control your family during her testimony? That ruckus with your brother, Nick didn’t look good. It’s best not to have a hot head ready to explode. For Jenny’s sake too, try to keep things on an even keel.”

“I’ll talk to Nick.”

“Jarrod, you need to know this...” Matt paused, took a deep breath, “She told me that Judson killed Louisa and Nicky. I wanted you to know before you hear her say it because you’re going to have to be strong for her. Can you bear to hear Jenny tell the whole story, Jarrod?”

He thought he was prepared. “If Jenny has carried it around for so long, Matt, maybe it’s time I shared the burden.”

Jenny couldn’t sleep that night. None of them dared tell her what the morning would bring, thinking to tell her only when they couldn’t put it off any longer. Still, Jenny sensed that something was wrong.

“Why don’t you wear your red plaid dress this morning?” Victoria asked Jenny the next morning, thinking something bright might help put some color in Jenny’s pale cheeks. Her eyes were wide and afraid. Her breathing shallow, panicked. Trying to cheer up the frightened little girl, Victoria took special care with her hair bows, typing one around a single curl on each side of her small face. The bright red of the bows and dress looked gaudy next to Jenny’s bleached face.

They could have all ridden in a buggy to the courthouse, but Jarrod borrowed a horse so Jenny could ride double with him. He wanted to hold her close as long as he could, to shield her. For all his talking on the ride to Salinas, Jenny spoke not a word. Her fear was too real, too close.

Outside the courthouse, Jarrod was horrified to see that a crowd had gathered. More than a crowd, a mob, shoving and pushing at the courthouse doors to gain entrance inside. Sheriff McCaffrey and some of his men stood blocking the doors, shouting commands that no one heard over the roaring voices of the people they held back. One woman, seeing Jarrod and Jenny ride up, called out, “Ah, there’s the child! We’ll be praying for you honey.”

Heath had enough sense to stop the buggy with Mother, Audra and Mrs. Blanchette away from the crowd. He jumped out, joining Nick who’d tethered a horse nearby. Running, shoving through the crowd, they joined Sheriff McCaffrey in holding back the frenzied mob. Nick was not above shoving and pushing back, trying to clear a path for Jarrod so he might dismount without being mobbed. While Heath tried at first to politely request that several women move away from the door, he changed his tune when a stout, red faced woman rapped him smartly on the head with a parasol. He threw caution to the wind, edged her smartly out of the way and went to help Jarrod dismount. Nick, Heath and one of the deputies surrounded them, shielding Jenny as best they could.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barkley,” Sheriff McCaffrey apologized when they’d gained entrance to the courthouse, slamming the doors closed on the fist pounding still going on outside. “It’s just there’s only a few seats left in the courtroom and I can’t have them people out there all fighting to get in. People been waitin’ to see who killed all the folks at your ranch for years. It kinda got outta hand.”

Jarrod’s concern was only on Jenny. “It isn’t your fault.”

“Jarrod,” Heath pushed up his sleeves, preparing to open the doors, “Nick and I’ll go after the women.” Nodding to Sheriff McCaffrey they all took deep breaths, as if they were about to jump into a deep pond, pulled open the doors only to disappear in the crowd that surged forward. Two men outside roughly jerked the doors closed as a roar of frustrated anger went up in the crowd.

Jarrod stood Jenny down, knelt before her to look into her eyes, filled with terror. “Jenny, can you still do this? Can you still be my brave girl?”

Her breath came in rapid, panicking spurts. When he pulled her close to comfort, he felt the pounding beat of her heart. If she could have run somewhere and hidden, Jarrod knew she would. This never should have been thrust on her, she wasn’t going to be able to testify.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do,” she whispered the words, her voice trembling. “Mama would want me to.”

By the time Heath and Nick had gotten through the crowd with Mother, Audra and Mrs. Blanchette, Jarrod had taken Jenny into the courtroom. Matt whispered soothing instructions in Jenny’s ear before the Judge entered. Sitting on Jarrod’s lap, Jenny relaxed a little only to tense up when the Judge entered, called the court to order and thundered, “Mr. Blanchette, call your next witness, please.”

Matt turned from facing the Judge, smiled at Jenny and came to take her hand. “I call Jennifer Barkley.”

Part 8

Jenny was sworn in, her hand shaking as she held it up. Standing at the front of the room in her bright red dress, she seemed the only vivid spot of color among the drab browns of the walls and dusty floorboards. She was seated, looking smaller when her feet didn’t quite reach the floor. Jarrod’s heart ached just looking at her.

“Just a minute, Mr. Blanchette,” Judge Grayson interrupted the proceedings, “I’d like to ask the child a few questions before we begin, seeing as how a man’s life is at stake here.”

“Jennifer, I want to make sure about two things. First, do you know what a lie is?”

Jenny nodded. “Yes, sir, it’s when you don’t tell the truth.”

“And do you also know that when you’re a witness and you swear to tell the truth, you have to tell the whole truth? No lies? You know that don’t you? You understand what happens if you lie when you’re a witness?”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered solemnly, “If I tell a lie now you could put me in jail.”

A woman, sitting on the back bench with her knitting, tittered. Bringing down instant wrath from Judge Grayson. “I’ve told you women before that if you want to come here for every trial then you’re to keep still. If I have to tell you again, you’ll be escorted outside.” Another woman snorted her disapproval of Judge Grayson who muttered loud enough to be overheard, “Dang bunch of pesky females ought to stay home instead of hanging around a courtroom for entertainment.”

“You may proceed, Mr. Blanchette.”

“Now, Jenny, I want you to look around this courtroom. Tell me if there’s anyone here you know. You can point them out to me and tell me their names.”

Slowly, hand still shaking, Jenny pointed out the members of her family, speaking their names in a trembling voice. Sheriff McCaffrey. Two of his deputies stationed near the door. Two sisters who’d done dressmaking for Louisa. Miss Finch, her former schoolteacher. Jarrod knew the instant her eyes fell on Judson, recognized the coal black hair with a white streak. Her pointing finger dropped as she clasped her hands together so tightly Jarrod saw her knuckles whiten. If it were possible her face drained of the little color it had.

“Jenny, you just pointed to Judson McKay but you didn’t say his name. Could you tell me why that is?”

“I...” Jenny faltered. “I didn’t really know his name until my Daddy told me.”

Matt turned to give Judson an appraising look. A look Judson returned with his usual smirk. “But even if you didn’t know his name, you’ve seen Judson before haven’t you, Jenny?”

“Yes, sir.”
“Why don’t you tell us where you’ve seen him?”

Slowly, stammering nervously over the words, Jenny told the same story she had told Heath. That Judson had been to the house once before. Another time they had seen him in the orchard.

“That day in the orchard, didn’t your Daddy say his name?”

“No.”

“What did he say?”

“He just said, ‘what are you doing here?’ ‘I told you not to come back.’”

“Then what happened, Jenny?”

Jenny hesitated, took a deep breath. “Daddy told him to leave.”

“And didn’t you tell me, “ Matt asked, walking toward the jury, “that your Father had to draw a gun on Judson to make him leave the orchard? That Judson McKay threatened to come back.”

“Yes, sir.”

Matt walked a few paces, placing himself strategically between Jenny and her view of Judson. Sitting near the edge of his seat, Jarrod felt a deep sense of gratitude for Matt’s wisdom. He’d promised to make this as easy for Jenny as he could. Still, it hurt to see Jenny struggle for the answers. She was clearly nervous, twisting a handkerchief Victoria had given her between her fingers. Every few seconds, she’d realize she should keep still and clasp her hands together in her lap.

“Jenny, you saw Judson another time after that didn’t you?”

Here it comes, Jarrod thought, praying that Jenny might have strength enough to see it through.

“Yes, sir.”

“Why don’t you just tell us in your own words what happened the next time you saw Judson? Start at the beginning. You remember that morning....what were you doing that morning? Your mother what was she doing?”

Silence. People strained forward to listen so there was a momentary feet shuffling, a polite cough or throat clearing, then deep, heavy silence. A quiet so loud it made Jarrod’s ears hum. Jenny glanced up, met Jarrod’s eyes. He tried to encourage her with a fleeting smile. The loud ticking of a clock became the only sound as the seconds clicked by in waiting. When Jenny at last began to speak, her words came out matter of factly, in a monotone devoid of any emotions. From somewhere, Jenny had found the strength to distance herself from that day , reciting the events as she would a rehearsed recitation.

“Mama was awful cranky that day.”

“Why was that?”

“She was baking and she said her back hurt something fierce. Mama wanted me to take Nicky out from underfoot but...” Jenny stopped, looked up at Jarrod as if in fear of revealing a long held secret, “I didn’t want too. He kept teasing me that day. He could be an awful pest sometimes.”

Matt nodded sympathetically.

In the same flat tone, Jenny told how she’d been naughty. Sneaking out of the house, she’d gone wading in the creek.

“Didn’t you hear something when you were at the creek? Something that frightened you?”

“I heard guns. Guns and horses over near the orchard.”

“What did you do then?”

A tear slid down Jenny’s cheek unnoticed. “Went back home. Mama was angry because Nicky burnt his fingers on the stove. She said I couldn’t have lunch an’ I had to stay in my room the whole rest of the day. Then she said...” Blinking back tears, Jenny tried to form the words twice before she could speak them. “Mama said, Jennifer Barkley, you’ll be the death of me yet.”

Victoria gasped. Audra burst into tears, running from the courtroom. Heavy hearted, Jarrod stared at his daughter, understanding for the first time the load of guilt she had carried. How many times had he heard Louisa say the same thing to Jenny or Nicky or even himself? It was just a careless remark, not meant to have any meaning except a mother’s exasperation over a naughty child. If Louisa had known her death was imminent, she never would have spoken the words to cause Jenny so much grief and guilt.

Quickly, sensing the murmurs of sympathy from the crowded courtroom, Matt brought Jenny back to the story. “What happened after you were sent to your room?”

“Nicky came up with some cookies. We ate them. Then he said he could sneak back down and get some bread and jam.”

“Poor little dears,” a woman said out loud.

Judge Grayson snapped out, “Quiet!” so loudly Jenny jumped out of the chair ready to bolt out the door. Matt took time to sit her back down, whispering reassurances.

Mr. Corda took that opportunity to protest, “I object Your Honor, what have stolen cookies and bread to do with my client’s innocence? I want to...”

“Overruled! “Judge Grayson ordered, “Go ahead, child.”

Jenny’s eyes sought and found Jarrod’s face. He nodded encouragement.

“Nicky brought the bread but while we were eating it, Mama came upstairs.”

“Bet she was angry?” Matt prodded her along.

“She scolded us for a long time.” Jenny’s tears dripped in a steady stream by now, “then she said since we were so naughty we could both stay in our rooms and not have any supper. I cried but Nicky...” Jenny stopped twisting the handkerchief long enough to swipe it ineffectually across her face. “Nicky said he was stuffed fuller than a tick and he didn’t care if he didn’t get supper for a week.”

The brief return to her little girl’s voice, indignant over Nicky’s sassiness, lightened the somber mood of the courtroom. Judge Grayson hid a smile behind a stern frown. Several spectators laughed openly, including Nick and Heath. Jarrod smiled but didn’t laugh. If he laughed, he’d be too close to weeping to stop.

“That’s enough, that’s enough,” Judge Grayson ended the moment. “Continue with the questioning.”

“Something else happened then, didn’t it Jenny? When you were all three in your room? Why don’t you tell us?”

“We heard horses.”

“Horses?”

“It wasn’t Daddy because Nicky’s dog, Lady, always barked a special bark when Daddy came home.”

Jarrod looked up startled as she revealed that secret. He’d forgotten that he’d ever wondered about it at all...how Jenny had always known when he rode in the gate of the ranch.

“We all looked out the window to see who it was.”

Matt turned so he asked the question, looking in Judson’s face. A Judson who had begun to fidget in his chair, realizing that this little girl knew too many details. “What did the horses look like?”

“A Palomino, a paint and three Arabians.” Nick, seated next to Jarrod, slapped him on the back. Nick Barkley’s niece knew her horseflesh.

Judson paled.

“Is there anyone in this courtroom that was on one of those horses, Jenny?”

A slow nod. Yes.

“Would you point to him?”

Unwavering, Jenny’s finger pointed to Judson. “He rode the Palomino.”

“After you saw the horses, what happened?”

“Mama got real scared. She said, ‘Dear God, forgive me, Jarrod, forgive me. He came back.’ Nicky started crying he was so scared because Mama was but I was too scared to cry.” Jenny paused, twisting, twisting her fingers in the handkerchief, “Mama told us we had to get under the bed, not to come out no matter what. She made us get under, then she pushed a trunk in front of us and handed me a blanket and told me to hide. When she was sure we were hidden, she went downstairs.”

Jarrod wiped his face, surprised to feel tears on his own face. Louisa had known, seeing Judson out the window that something tragic would happen. He’d hoped, on sleepless nights, that maybe her death had been quick, that she hadn’t known. That illusion was shattered forever.

“Did you hear anything then, Jenny?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounded smaller, quieter. The Judge had to ask her to speak up.

“I heard Mama telling someone she didn’t have any money. She told him to go away like Daddy said. He just kept yelling back. Nicky was awful scared, he kept crying and I tried to tell him it would be all right but he didn’t believe me. Then we heard the puppies start to bark...”

Jenny began to cry freely now, “We heard the puppies and then we heard a gun and Mama screamed at the man, 'You didn’t have to do that!' Nicky was still crying but when he heard the puppies and the guns he just got mad. He said he was going to go down an’ kill those men if they hurt his puppies. I tried to hold him!” She looked up at Jarrod, begging him with tear filled eyes to understand, “I tried and tried but he kept kicking me and biting me and punching me and I had to let him go! I’m truly, truly sorry, Daddy, but I couldn’t hold on to him.”

Quiet weeping filled the courtroom. There wasn’t a soul, unless it happened to be Judson and his attorney, who didn’t long to throw their arms around Jenny to kiss away the pain.

“You were a brave girl to try,” Matt complimented her, easing the way into one of the most difficult questions of all. “When Nicky got away from you, what happened then, Jenny?”

“He ran downstairs.” Jenny began to sob, “Nicky ran downstairs. I heard a gun and then Mama started screaming and screaming. She screamed and screamed and I wanted to put my fingers in my ears because it scared me.”

“Did you? Or did you hear?”

“I heard,” Jenny cried out, sobbing the words, reliving every painful second of that moment, “Mama screamed, Nicky....then she said...” Jenny looked straight at Judson. “She said, Judson, you shot Nicky!”

Part 9

Pandemonium.

Jenny’s simple statement dropped like dynamite exploding in the crowded courtroom. Nick lunged toward Judson with a murderous glint in his dark eyes. It took Heath, Sheriff McCafferty and two large cowboys to strong arm Nick. All of them to wrestle Nick back into his seat. Heath thought his arm might be pulled out of the socket trying to hold him down once he got there. Victoria’s angry reprimand, “Nicholas” settled him down to frustrated, boot thumping impatience but he still glared at Judson with hatred in his heart.

Many of the spectators had also risen as Nick did, shouting imprecations at Judson . One greybeard shouted, “Hangings too good for him!” Members of the jury, much to Mr. Corda’s discomfort, began to murmur and nod among themselves. All over the room, voices rose in judgement while Judson began to pull at the collar of his brown linen shirt.

“Order! Order!” Judge Grayson thundered, banging his gavel repeatedly, trying to quell the noisy outbreak. “I said order or I’ll clear this courtroom!”

Whether it was Judge Grayson’s threat or Jenny’s reaction, the crowd lowered it’s collective voice to quieter rumblings. Most eyes were still on Jenny, a little girl in a red dress, with her head down in her lap now, weeping. Matt leaned over to whisper to Jenny. Whatever he’d said, and Jarrod had a good idea, Jenny shook her head violently no.

“Order!” Judge Grayson shouted as the people, angered over Jenny’s upset, began to mutter louder, hissing at Judson’s back. “This court is recessed for ten minutes.”

Judge Grayson pounded the gavel, pointing to Jarrod. “Mr. Barkley,” he motioned Jarrod to come forward. When Jarrod reached the bench, he leaned toward Judge Grayson who spoke quietly, “Mr. Barkley, you need to take your daughter somewhere quiet and see if she’s going to be able to finish this.”

Jarrod nodded. Clasping Matt on the back, he thanked him silently. Matt stood up, moved out of Jarrod’s way. Trying to push down his own feeling of grief, Jarrod lifted Jenny’s face up. He took her hand and led her into one of the anterooms the circuit Judge used. The thought came that he’d spent countless hours in the same room with clients. Never in any of his wildest imaginings had he seen himself coming here with his daughter, knowing he had to talk her into going back on the witness stand.

Resisting the urge to baby her, she had a hard job ahead and it wouldn’t do to be too gentle with her now, Jarrod sat her firmly down on one of the wooden chairs around the scarred wooden table. He sat facing her. “That’s enough crying,” he said, in a voice expecting to be obeyed. After a few shuddering sobs, Jenny sniffed, fighting to do what she’d been told. Lashes still wet with tears, she lifted her eyes to his. Jarrod took the twisted handkerchief from her fist and wiped her face.

“Jenny, I don’t blame you because Nicky died.”

“You don’t.”

“Honey, you were seven years old. You couldn’t have stopped those men any more than I could.” It had taken him almost two years to believe what Heath had told him, but he’d finally begun to believe he couldn’t have prevented any of the tragedy at the ranch. Even if he’d been there. By the look in Jenny’s eyes, he could see it might take her awhile longer to believe the same fact. To stop blaming herself because she hadn’t been able to hold onto Nicky. But he could see that by telling her now, he had lifted some of the weight of guilt she’d carried for too long.

“No, Jenny, I don’t blame you or me...sometimes things just happen. We don’t want them to happen or cause them to happen...”

Jenny lowered her eyes to her lap. “But I was so naughty. Mama said...”

How to make her understand? “Jenny, you could have been as good as gold that day and it still would have happened. Mama said that many times. She use to say it to me...don’t you remember? It was just words, it didn’t mean anything except we were trying her patience.”

“It wasn’t my fault? You aren’t angry because I didn’t do what Mama told me?”

“No, Jenny.” He put his arms around her then, pressing her into a hug for just a few seconds. “Jenny, Judge Grayson wants to know if you can go through with this.”

Blinking back more tears, Jenny shook her head, “I’m awful; scared, Daddy. I don’t like looking at....” She swallowed hard. “...at him. I want to go home.”

There hadn’t been many times Jarrod hated being a Father. Sadly, this was one of those times.

“I can’t take you home yet, Jenny. Remember when we talked about this. I told you if you decided to do this you had to finish.”

“I don’t want to,” she said a little petulantly.

“Remember what I use to tell you my father always said to me when I didn’t want to finish a job I’d started? I’ve told you enough times.”

“I don’t remember.”

Jarrod lifted her chin so she had to look straight at him. She was less likely to keep lying to him that way. “Jennifer.”

She wouldn’t look him in the eyes but she heard the warning in his voice. “See it through.”

“That’s right. And you’re going to see it through aren’t you?”

“I’m scared.” Jenny’s lips trembled. Scared was not the word Jarrod would have used. Terrified was a more apt description.

Reaching into his coat pocket, Jarrod pulled out Louisa’s wedding ring. He lifted Jenny’s hand, placed the ring in her damp palm. “Do you know what this is?”

“Mama’s wedding ring.”

“When we got married, I slipped this ring on Mama’s finger.. Her hands were shaking, just like yours are now, so I whispered to tell her not to be afraid. I can’t sit up there with you, Jenny, to tell you not to be afraid. But you know something? Mama can.”

Jenny’s blue eyes, framed by dark, wet lashes, widened in wonder. “She can?”

“Yes, because we still have her here,” he touched Jenny’s forehead, “and in here.” He touched her heart. “And as long as we have Mama with us, she can help us both not be afraid.”

Jarrod took Jenny’s thoroughly damp handkerchief and the ring. Using one corner, he pulled the handkerchief through the ring, tied a strong knot and gave it back to Jenny. “Why don’t you hold this ring? Keep it safe for me.”

Jenny took the ring, studied it, turning in around and around in her fingers.

“You’re going to go back out there, aren’t you? I know it’s hard but you’re a Barkley, Jennifer Victoria. You are also Louisa Barkley’s daughter and you can do this for her.” He took the ring out of her hand, slipped it, knotted in the handkerchief over her thumb. “Mama will help you.”



Again, dragging her feet just a little, Jenny took the witness stand. Absolute, total silence greeted her arrival as people strained forward to hear what she’d have to say. Judson, who until now had been the model of arrogant, disdain for the whole proceedings, began to fidget and whisper to Mr. Corda. Stealing quick fearful glances at Jenny. As if she had a 45 pointed at his head.

“Now, Jenny,” Matt began the questioning again. “I think we need to make one point clear before we go further. You told us that your Mother screamed Judson had shot Nicky. But you also told us that you did not know Judson’s name or who he was. How can that be, Jenny?”

“When Mama said that, I didn’t know which man was Judson. Not until Daddy told me that the man with the coal black hair was him.”

“But you are positive that Mama said Judson shot Nicky? You’re also positive that this man,” he pointed at Judson, “was at your house that day?”

“Yes, sir.”

Matt smiled in an effort to calm Jenny. “Why don’t you tell us what happened after you heard Nicky get shot?”

“Sounds.”

“Sounds?”

“I heard sounds.”

“Describe them for us, Jenny.”

Jenny shifted in her chair. From where he sat, Jarrod could see one finger rubbing back and forth over Louisa’s ring. “Glass breaking. Things falling. Mama crying. She wanted to send for a doctor for Nicky but the man wouldn’t let her. He finally said if Mama gave him all the money in the house he would let someone go for a doctor. And he told her not to hold out anything because he knew Daddy was rich and we had lots of money hidden in the house.”

Judson slumped in his chair, whispering more urgently to Mr. Corda. The attorney answered, looking uneasy himself.

Matt eyed Judson, taunting him with Jenny’s answers. “Go on, Jenny. What did you hear then?”

“Nothing for awhile. I think everyone went into another room.”

“Did they later come back where you could hear again?”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered, swiping tears off her face but seeing it through. “Mama started to cry. Then she lied.”

“Lied?” Matt queried, surprised at this. As if he and Jenny hadn’t discussed this particular question before.

“He, the man who did most of the yelling, he said, ‘where is your other brat?’ That’s when Mama lied. She said, ‘Jenny is with Jarrod. You won’t find her here.’”

Someday, when Jenny was older, Jarrod knew he’d tell her how much Louisa loved her, cookie snitching, disobedient and all. That her mother had faced death trying in those last few minutes to save one of her children.

“Go on, Jenny,” Matt’s voice choked over the words, tears in his own voice. Several women in the back rows began to weep silently.

“Mama said....” Jarrod could see her fingers tighten, white knuckled over the ring, “She said, I forgive you, Judson. And then....I heard more gunshots.”

Jarrod’s eyes blurred with tears. Nick, with tears pouring down his own face, put an arm across Jarrod’s shoulders. On Jarrod’s other side, Victoria cried quietly into a silk handkerchief...all of them in awe of Louisa’s courage and her ability to face her murderer with a compassion none of them felt they possessed. Heath sat grim faced, silent in admiration for Louisa....wishing he might have told her how much he’d wished he could see the good in everyone as she had done.

“After you heard those gunshots, Jenny, what happened then?”

“More glass broke and things went tumbling over. Ripping sounds. Then I heard the doors slamming and boots on the porch. I thought if they were leaving maybe I could look out the window and see if they were gone. Then I could go get the doctor for Nicky and...” Jenny stopped, struggled bravely on in a rush to get the words out, “I crawled out from under the bed and peeked out the window.”

“Who did you see outside?”

“All the men getting on their horses. They were laughing.”

Nick jumped forward again but this time Jarrod and Heath wouldn’t let him all the way up from the bench. Although Jarrod thought it might expedite things if he just let Nick at Judson. Not a person in the courtroom, including the judge, would have held it against him.

“And did you see Judson?”

Jenny nodded.

“You told me there was something different about Judson this time, didn’t you. Why don’t you tell the court what that was.”

Jenny swallowed hard, twisting, twisting Louisa’s ring on and off her finger. “He had his shirt off,” she whispered, “and he was holding something inside it.”

Matt walked toward the jury, paced slowly in front of Judson glaring at him, “Of course, you wouldn’t know because you were just looking out a window what was in the shirt. Perhaps it was your Mother’s jewelry. Or maybe the men were hungry and he stole bread from the kitchen. Maybe it was some of the stolen money from the house. A man, struggling to carry something out to his saddle bags might pull off his shirt to wrap around what he couldn’t carry in his hands. It doesn’t concern us what was in Judson’s shirt, what concerns us is what Jenny saw then. It’s the one thing that marks Judson McKay as the man in the Barkley house that day. The one thing that can identify this man with the murders of Louisa and Nicholas Barkley. Tell us, Jenny, what is that one thing we need to know? What you saw because Judson McKay had his shirt off.”

A stirring of excitement filled the courtroom. Murmurings. Questions, whispers. Jenny saw it all, fearful suddenly of revealing what to her seven year old eyes had been the most horrible part of all. Matt had to ask her to speak up three times before anyone other than Judge Grayson heard the quiet answer. “The snake. The bloody snake.”

“The birthmark!” Jarrod wasn’t aware he’d spoken out until Victoria grabbed his arm with a questioning look in her eyes. “I forgot about the birthmark,” he whispered urgently, “If I’d have remembered it sooner. Nate told me...dear God...Nate told me and I didn’t know what he meant.”

Even before Matt dropped the next stick of explosive into the courtroom with a question, Jarrod buried his face in his hands. Nate’s “snake man” and Jenny’s “bloody snake” did indeed point to only one person.

“Tell us, Jenny, what you mean by the bloody snake. You saw Judson McKay without his shirt and then you saw the bloody snake. Tell us, Jenny, where is that snake?”

Hand trembling, Jenny pointed to the back of her neck. “It wasn’t on your neck though, was it Jenny? You saw it on one of the men, didn’t you?”

Jenny nodded. Pointed at Judson.

“Your Honor,” Matt strode to the Judge’s bench. “I request at this time that Mr. Judson McKay be asked to remove his shirt.”

Judson jumped up with a tortured, “No!” He turned on Mr. Corda, reached down to grab his shirt, pulling the lawyer up taut. “You told me you could get me out of this! You never told me the kid was still in the house!”

“Order!” Judge Grayson roared. “Mr. McKay, you will remove your shirt or we will have someone remove it for you!”

Pushing Mr. Corda back into his seat, Judson made an attempt to flee. An escape that Sheriff McCafferty squashed with two steps, hand on his gun. Defiantly, Judson ripped off his shirt so that everyone in the courtroom got a good look at the birthmark that had marked him from birth. White scars, coiled like a snake with red lesions that did indeed look like a snake bleeding from the fangs. Several women gasped in horror at the hideous sight. Even Victoria had to close her eyes and turn her head away.

A woman screamed.

“For pity’s sake,” Judge Grayson yelled as the courtroom again erupted into frenzied anger, “did that woman faint? Someone hoist her up and get her out of here. A circus..you people are making this courtroom into a circus and I won’t have it.” His voice rose alarmingly, trying to rise above the wave of hatred directed at Judson McKay. A Judson who jerked his shirt back on and sat down with his chin up. Daring them almost to condemn him.

Jenny had buried her face in her hands. Matt went to her, spoke softly until she sat back up.

“We’ve only got a few more questions now. Tell the court what you saw the man with the bloody snake do next.”

Matter of factly, Jenny’s voice showing the strain, she said in a tired way, “The men started to ride away. But then Mr. Nate came out of the barn and saw them. He said something, I don’t know what and then the snake man shot him. He had blood...lots of blood...I didn’t want to look anymore so I crawled back under the bed.”

“Jenny,” Matt asked her as gently as he could, “did you go downstairs after that?”

Starting to cry a little, Jenny shook her head. “I was too scared. I just wanted to wait until Daddy came. I wanted my Daddy to come.”

Following procedure, after Matt said his questioning was concluded, Judge Grayson asked Mr. Corda if there were any questions. Jenny had been prepared if he were to ask, Jarrod had explained what Judson’s attorney would try to do. But as if sensing the hostile mood of the courtroom, Mr. Corda said he had no questions. He could see himself being hung along with Judson if he’d dared to question the frightened child.

“Thank you, then, Jennifer, you may step down now.”

Where Jenny found the courage from, Jarrod would never know for certain. He would later say that it was Louisa, looking after her daughter. In the courtroom, his surprise was as great as everyone else’s when Jenny didn’t immediately step down from the witness stand. Instead, she turned toward Judge Grayson and asked in a timid way, “Mr. Judge, am I allowed to say something if no one asks me a question?”

Judge Grayson raised his eyebrow, surprised. “Well, now, I’d say that would be acceptable.”

“Does that mean I can?” Jenny asked Matt, not sure what acceptable meant.

Matt nodded, looking back at Jarrod who held up his hands as if to say, “I don’t know either.”

“I wanted to ask if....” Jarrod could see the ring, circling her thumb get another rub for bravely, “if you could not hang him.”

A collective gasp went up from the courtroom, including Judson who paled, eyes wide in fear.

“This man killed your Mother and brother and also your ranch foreman,” Judge Grayson answered, not unkindly, “Don’t you think he deserves to be punished?”

“Yes, sir,” Jenny agreed, “But Mama wouldn’t want you to hang him.”

“How would you know what your Mother’s wishes would be?”

“Mama didn’t like it when people got hung, she use to say so. She said it didn’t give people enough time to be sorry for what they did. Mama said it was wrong so I thought...” Jenny took a deep breath, looked to Jarrod, “Maybe since Mama can’t be here and say it that I should say it for her. Maybe if he goes to jail for a long, long time he could be sorry.”

Judge Grayson felt tears moisten his own eyes. Gruffly, he said, “I think that the court can take your Mother’s feelings in the matter in consideration.”

Jenny looked confused until she looked up to see Jarrod, smiling though his tears, Satisfied that she had done what Louisa might have wanted, Jenny let Matt help her down from the witness stand. Remembering her manners, she turned back to Judge Grayson to say, “Thank you, sir.”

As Jenny walked toward Jarrod, her eyes never left his face. When he took her in his arms, lifting her up to hug her tightly, Jenny asked, “Did I do the right thing, Daddy?”

It took him awhile to make his voice work, too choked with tears of relief that it was over, that it hadn’t hurt Jenny. Tears too of joy. Louisa would be so proud of her. He was so proud he thought his heart might burst with pride. “Yes, Jenny. You saw it through.”

Epilogue

Thanksgiving.

Jarrod Barkley sat alone in the library, relaxed with a brandy and cigar, his feet up on the desk. Enjoying the momentary solitude of the house. Nick and Heath had gone earlier to pick up their dates for the dance in Stockton that night. As soon as Mother, Audra and Jenny came home from taking dinner baskets to several of the poorer families in the area, they’d be joining them. Until then, Jarrod had only his thoughts for company. After a day filled to the brim with family, friends, a scrumptious dinner with much merry making, talking and laughter, it was pleasant to be alone. Just remembering...

He had quite a lot to be thankful for this year. The trial was over. ` Judson locked away forever having been found guilty of the three murders Jenny had witnessed. It was thought that some of the other men had killed the ranch hands and Bonita but no one could prove either way. One of the Mexicans had been found. He’d made a deathbed confession after a failed bank robbery. Who the other three men where, where they were no one knew. It still gave Jarrod qualms to see Jenny go riding off alone on the ranch. Yet he knew they couldn’t wrap her in quilt batting and put her away on a shelf. Jenny had a right to be a child, to ride and explore and play with her friends without fear. Hiding her away was no guarantee of protection, she’d been in her own home when the worst tragedy of their lives happened.

Right after the trial, he’d taken Jenny to the Lodge for a few days. Just the two of them. He’d hoped Louisa would understand why he’d let Jenny jump on the beds, eat cake for breakfast every morning and play hand after hand of poker. Maybe she even understood why he’d already lost his horse and saddle to a nine year old that could bluff her way through poker like she’d been taught by her Uncle Nick. He’d taken her fishing, tree climbing, rock skipping and played countless games of hide and seek. They’d built fires in the fireplace at night and Jarrod let her stay up until her eyes drooped shut on their own. Spoiling her shamelessly.

He’d felt they needed the time alone, to talk about Louisa and Nicky. About how their lives had been before and how they would be now. Jarrod had found, to his immense surprise that Nick and Matt Blanchette had both been right. Nick when he’d said that they might never get back the same little girl they’d known before the tragedy. Matt when he’d said that he and Louisa had raised a remarkable little girl. To Jarrod’s joy, he’d found that Jenny was indeed a changed child. A Jenny that hadn’t been scarred by all that had happened but refined, shaped into the remarkable child Matt liked to brag on. In many ways, she was the same captivating child he’d always known. In other ways, Jarrod felt he was getting to know his daughter all over again. To his delight and concern, he could see Jenny took after Louisa and himself more than he’d thought. Raising Jenny, he soon found out, would be both a joy and an immense challenge.

The newspapers had made much ado about Jenny’s request to Judge Grayson. “Little Girl Pleads Mercy for Mother’s Murderer,” one headline had proclaimed. Louisa’s legacy, of caring and compassion, her forgiveness of Judson became grist for the press. While Jarrod was proud of his wife and daughter, after awhile the constant rehashing became unbearable He couldn’t help but be glad when another sensational story pushed Jenny from the front page. All he wanted now was peace. Peace for himself and Jenny. Peace for Louisa and Nicky.

He let his mind drift lazily while he smoked. He’d given Jenny some measure of peace at the Lodge. A quiet space before they had to come home to begin a life vastly different from Jenny’s first seven years. A time apart from life as it had been and life as it would be now. They would stay on in Stockton. Jarrod could not conceive of ever going back to Salinas. Ever. Thankfully, Jenny had been too overwrought after the trail to even think of going back to the house. They’d gotten her on the train, heading home, before she’d had time to even think about Barkley Ranch South. Once at the Lodge, Jarrod had tried to explain his feelings, that it made him too sad to go back. Jenny accepted it as she did so many things these days. Quietly. Holding in whatever her true feelings might be...almost like Heath. Jenny had many moments of being Heath like...a fact Jarrod found unnerving. He could understand Jenny more when she threw a Nick like tantrum or went into an Audra sulk.

Jarrod reached for his drink, took a sip while looking up at the clock on the mantel. The fire he’d built earlier had dropped into smoldering coals, still sending a few sparks but little warmth out into the room. He wouldn’t get up to stir it back to life. As soon as “the girls,” as Jenny liked to call the trio of Barkley females, returned they’d be going on in to Stockton. A pleasure Jarrod looked forward to with both anticipation and dread. The last Thanksgiving Dance he’d been to in Stockton, he’d had a wife and two children along. Yet, he knew, Louisa would be the last to want him sitting here alone grieving for her. Especially after what Jenny had told him that last night at the Lodge.

“Daddy, if you do something for me I’ll give you back your saddle and Jingo.” Was how it began. To save himself the embarrassment of explaining to Nick and Heath why he no longer owned his own horse, Jarrod had agreed within reason. Jenny could come up with some wild schemes he dared not condone. It was with a pleasant sense of relief that Jenny made a simple request he could keep. She wanted a fire outside so they could lie under the stars.

It was really too cold to be out after dark but taking the children to lie under the stars had always been one of the reasons that made time at the Lodge special. If Nicky or Jenny were cheated out of that time with their father, they’d have thought the entire vacation wasted. Jarrod agreed. Building up a small fire, he’d willingly brought out blankets and fur robes so they’d keep warm.

Lying under the stars, the immense bowl of heaven glittering with points of light, like diamonds on deep blue velvet, Jarrod and Jenny stared at the sky. The fire snapped and popped, sending up sparks to meet the sky, while the cold brought out the crisp, clean scent of pine, cedar woodsmoke and the fresh just washed scent of Jenny’s hair as she lay against his shoulder, her head pressed under his chin.

“And all overhead and all around there were thousands of millions of stars.” Jenny quoted although Jarrod could not remember the poet or the poem. He heard the words as Louisa had often said them. They brought back memories of quiet nights, riding home from Salinas in the buggy Jenny between them, Nicky in his mother’s lap.

“Daddy?”

“Hm.”

“Mama told me to tell you something.” Jenny’s breath came out in puffs of smoke she found fascinating. Watching the smoke drift away, she forget momentarily what she meant to say.

“What?”

“It’s something I didn’t tell in court. Something Mama told me when she made me get under the bed and hide.”

Forgetting the cold, his frozen feet and the numbness in his fingers, Jarrod felt as if the very stars in Heaven held their breath. Waiting.

“She told me to tell you something....” Jenny, snuggled closer against his side, toasty warm because she had the warmest blankets.

“What was it she told you?”

“Mama said, tell your Daddy I have always loved him with all my heart and soul but if God chooses I will love him even better after death.”

Jarrod couldn’t speak. The lump in his throat chocked off any words even if he could have found any to speak.

“Part was from that poem she used to like, wasn’t it? The How Do I Love Thee one?”

He could only nod. Louisa had known then from that first second of seeing Judson out the window that she would never see Jarrod again. Yet, even then, she’d tried to send him a message of love. He’d thought so on their wedding day but he felt it even more so now, he had indeed married a remarkable woman.

“Did it make you sad, Daddy?”

“No, Jenny,” he finally found his voice, although the stars blurred as he stared up, “You made me very happy.”

“I won’t get in trouble because I didn’t tell the judge will I?” Jenny asked anxiously, “Cause, Mr. Blanchette said I had to tell everything, even about Nicky taking the cookies, but...Mama said to tell you and I thought maybe it was just a secret.”

“It’s alright. You did exactly right.”

With the resiliency of childhood, Jenny sat up, pointing at a brilliant star twinkling, “Look, I bet that’s Nicky, jumping around from one star to the next! Bet he’s having fun up there. He was an awful pest sometimes but I miss him.” Jenny yelled up at the stars, “Hey, Nicky, I dare you to jump to that big one way over there.”“

They both watched in wonder and awe as the star Jenny pointed to twinkled briefly brighter. Suddenly Jarrod forgot his frozen feet and the numbness in his face. Surrounded by the immensity of the heavens, his heart filled with a sense of peace. As he’d told Jenny during the trial, Nicky and Louisa would never be lost to them. Not as long as they kept them in their memories and hearts. “This was a good idea, Jenny.”

“I know,” Jenny snuggled closer, pressing her cold cheek against his, “and Daddy, I promise not to tell Uncle Nick and Uncle Heath I won your horse. If you won’t tell Grandma I jumped on all the beds.”

They came home. Jenny in a sense to three fathers and two mothers. Jarrod knew well the dangers that such a situation might cause. He’d had enough practice in the summers Nicky and Jenny spent at the ranch. Nick would be the worst, he knew, for spoiling and granting his niece’s every whim. Heath could be counted on to try...but Jarrod well knew that all it took was for Heath to be reminded of some incident from his childhood in Strawberry and he’d be as bad or worse than Nick. Audra, who spent more time with children, would be more reliable and less likely to let Jenny get away with everything. Mother, of course, would be his greatest help in raising an unspoiled, sweet tempered child. She could be firm, yet gentle and Jarrod was willing to bow to her knowledge in raising little girls.

Another help Jarrod depended upon in those first difficult weeks after the trial, were the Sisters at the Mission School in Stockton. He’d put Jenny in school there for the extra discipline she needed and for protection. At the Mission School Jenny could be watched without being aware that she was a carefully guarded little girl. Only the immediate family, the Mother Superior and the Sheriff knew the secret Jarrod had to keep hidden from the rest of the world. Jennifer Barkley was now a very wealthy little girl. .

It had come as a shock to find out that Jackson McKay, Judson’s father, had once owned two silver mines in Nevada. Defunct mines or so everyone thought. At some point before his death, Jackson had urged a partner to try to start mining operations again. He’d also transferred ownership of the mines to his surviving family members, Louisa, Nicky and Jenny. Judson had also been granted part ownership, a fourth of a percent. By the time the mines began to produce again, Judson’s fourth of a percent would have been worth more than fifty times what he’d stolen from Barkley Ranch South. Each month.

Now, with Judson in prison, Louisa and Nicky dead that left only Jenny. The owner of two, thriving producing silver mines in Nevada. Jarrod had managed to hide the knowledge with legalese, trust funds and doctored paperwork. Jackson’s partner had agreed for an extra share of the profits with the provision that if word ever leaked out about the true ownership he would forfeit everything. Until she was of age, Jenny would know nothing about any of it. Although Jarrod had no doubt that most of the money would go toward helping someone else. Jenny was, after all was said and done, still her mother’s daughter. More eager to share hair ribbons and candy with other little girls than she was in keeping them for herself.

“Would you like some coffee, Mr. Jarrod?” Silas asked, appearing at the library door.

“No, thank you, Silas,” Jarrod put his feet off the desk, stood up and stretched. “As soon as the family gets back we’ll be going on in to the Dance.”

Silas nodded, walked away.

Jarrod walked toward the dying fire. Picking up the poker, he prodded the coals, stirring them back into life. Orange, blues and greens glowed in the embers as Jarrod studied the flames. Funny, but he’d often found answers to some of his most perplexing problems while staring into a fire. He had no doubt that raising a child without her mother would provide plenty of opportunity for problem solving in the years to come. Life with Jenny continued to be one challenge after another.

Getting Jenny back to school had been his first challenge. Those first few days she cried when she went to school, cried coming home and Jarrod was told that she cried most of the day at school. All in all, Jenny was a pretty miserable little girl. Everyone tried to help, to cajole, to reason with Jenny but nothing seemed to work. If Billy Duncan hadn’t called her a “dumb, stupid girl” getting up each morning might have gone on being something to be dreaded.

As Jarrod later heard the story, once from Jenny, once from the Mother Superior with a hint of a smile on her lips, Jenny had stopped crying at once. The next thing Billy knew he’d been punched in the eye by a little girl who’d had a brother. A teasing brother. Billy retaliated by pulling her hair, untying her green sash and repeating she was a “dumb, stupid girl.”

“The next thing I knew, “Mother Superior had told Jarrod, trying hard not to laugh, “Jenny had him on the ground, sitting on top of him. When I told her to get up she very politely told me she would just as soon as Billy apologized. When I told her I thought apologies were in order from both sides and the two of them would be standing in a corner during the rest of recess, she replied very respectfully that she might deserve having to stand in a corner but she wouldn’t apologize to anyone who untied her best sash.”

Laughing now, Mother Superior told Jarrod, “She then proceeded to tell me point by point why Billy should be the one to apologize, not her. Her logic was quite formidable and I found myself totally confused about what had happened in the first place....perhaps she has her father’s talent for the law.”

Jarrod cleared his throat. Jenny could indeed argue a point well, especially if she were in the wrong.

“And did she apologize?”

“You know,” her laughter was contagious, “I’m not certain she ever did! The next thing I knew, Jenny offered Billy half of a licorice whip and the two of them were making plans to go riding after school.”

Thanks to Billy, Jenny’s school days began to be happier events. After Billy more friendships followed. The Mission School was home to several little Modoc girls who began to come home with Jenny. It began to seem normal to find four or five giggling little girls cutting out paper dolls in the parlor or following along behind Nick like adoring ducklings. Jarrod could never fathom why they followed Nick since he ranted and raved and turned every few feet to shoo them away. Like a retreating army, the girls would back away a few feet, giggle and follow again when Nick’s back was turned. Jarrod often thought Nick enjoyed the game as much as the girls did. Even while grumbling he couldn’t get his work done because there were too many “confounded kids” in his way.

Jarrod heard the stirring in the house, door opening, closing, Mother’s voice answering a question Silas asked. The rustle of silk dresses and the sound of Jenny’s slippers coming toward him.

“Daddy, are you ready for the Dance?”

Last Thanksgiving, which he and Jenny had spent in Washington, Jarrod had dreamed that one day he’d seen Jenny as she looked now. Smiling, blue eyes sparkling with joy, her cheeks pink with excitement and being outdoors. She wore a new dark green dress with a lacy ruffle around the collar and cuffs. A dress she’d described to him over and over in the weeks of fittings and visits to the dressmaker after picking out a green silk fabric with Audra. The skirt, full and “swishy” as Jenny described it , rustled as she ran toward him, holding out her arms for a hug. Jarrod complied, squeezing her extra hard just to hear her complain he was “scrunching up” her sash.

“Well, little lady, don’t you look pretty enough to dance with?” He twirled her around holding one hand high. “Or is your dance card all filled?”

“You can have one dance.” She agreed.

“Only one? One? “ Jarrod squeezed her into another hug, picked her up and sat down on a green velvet chair with an armful of green silk, petticoats and Jenny on his lap. “How many petticoats do you have on anyway?”

Jenny was scandalized, or pretended to be. “Daddy! I’m telling Grandma you said that. It’s not good manners to ask a lady how many petticoats she has on.”

Jarrod pressed his face against her hair so she couldn’t see the smile on his face. Jenny hated to be laughed at which required some contorted facial movements to keep from hurting her feelings. She turned her head, put her arm around the back of his neck so she could pull his face down closer. Whispering in his ear she said, “Three and two of them are silk.”

This time Jarrod couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Jenny didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she seemed a little smug, delighted with the rustle she made when she walked. Maybe imagining the sound her petticoats would make when dancing. Jarrod held her, thinking she had nothing on her mind but the upcoming dance.

“Daddy?” She asked more seriously, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. You want a blue silk dress to match your green one? Or maybe one in pink?” He teased.

Jenny shook her head, “No, it isn’t anything silly, Daddy. I wanted to know if you think Mama would mind if we’re happy sometimes.”

As always, Jenny had the ability to jolt him with her questions. “No, honey, I don’t think she would mind if we’re happy all the time. You know, she wouldn’t want us to be sad or to miss her too much. If we aren’t happy when we remember Mama, I don’t think she’d want us to remember her at all.”

“That’s kind of what I thought.” Jenny agreed. “I just wanted to know for sure ‘cause Uncle Nick asked me to dance the Virginia Reel with him and it’s sure hard not to be happy when you dance with Uncle Nick.”

Jarrod tried to lighten the mood, “I’ve never danced with Uncle Nick, but I’ll take your word for it.”

Again she turned her head to stare at him, blue eyes studying his intently, “You won’t be sad at the dance will you, Daddy?”

“No, Jenny,” he hugged her tight, “I promise I won’t be sad. Not as long as you and your three petticoats promise me a dance or two. Or are you saving them all for Uncle Nick and Billy Duncan?”

“Daddy! “ Jenny was truly scandalized now, “I am not dancing with Billy! If I see him I’m going to punch him.” Jumping down off his lap, Jenny smoothed her skirt annoyed beyond words that he would even suggest such an event. Dancing with Billy! He’d probably step all over her new slippers.

Jarrod stood up, reached for his suit coat and put it on. “Are we ready to leave, Miss Barkley?” He asked formally, offering her his arm.

Jenny had to stand on tiptoe to wrap her arm in his, “Yes, Mr. Barkley, I think we are.” They made it as far as the door with Jenny walking in dignified fashion beside him. As they walked toward the foyer, Jenny dropped all pretense of being a great lady. Prancing backwards, green dress rustling and swishing most satisfactorily, Jenny grabbed Jarrod’s hand pulling him to hurry up. Her carefully brushed dark curls, held in place with a green silk band around her head, framed a face alive, joyful and everything Jarrod had wished since the moment Sheriff McCafferty had found a frightened little girl hiding under her bed. With a very grateful heart, Jarrod gave thanks for finding his daughter...the greatest blessing this year had given him.

Mother and Audra were waiting in the foyer, eyes on Jenny as she danced toward them smiling, chattering away. Their eyes met Jarrod’s each of them thinking the same thought. What am I most thankful for this Thanksgiving? There could be only one answer in each of their hearts.

Finding Jenny.

THE END