Father of the Year

Chapters 9-15

by MagdalenMary495

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 9

By dawdling through four of Grandma’s shouts of, “Jenny! You’ll be late!” up the stairs the next morning, Jenny managed to avoid seeing Uncle Nick at breakfast. Once she got to school, Jenny wished almost that she had seen him and gotten the whole punishment business over with. Whatever Uncle Nick had in mind couldn’t be any worse than the agony of waiting all day to find out.

“You are so dumb,” Jenny admonished herself over and over that long day. “Even cleaning out a hundred stalls couldn’t be as awful as imagining what’s gonna happen.”

Once school was out, Jenny lost no time in hurrying back to the ranch. Uncle Nick most probably wouldn’t let her off as easy as Uncle Heath that was for sure. Might as well get it over with before she died of the suspense.

Just as Jenny wondered how best to approach Uncle Nick, she looked up to see him mending the fence near the road to the house. Almost she rode past, then took a deep breath and reined Fancy to go back. Just in case he still had thoughts like last night she wouldn’t ride too close to him. Without Daddy and Grandma to protect her it’d be better to be safe than sorry. Jenny knew from past experience that Uncle Nick could make her mighty sorry.

“Hi, Uncle Nick.”

Squinting up at the sun, Uncle Nick pushed his hat back on his head before looking at her. “Jenny,” he said before turning his attention back to a strand of barbed wire he was twisting around a post.

Jenny waited for him to scold. When he didn’t, she heeled Fancy’s side riding a few inches closer. “Did your head quit hurting, Uncle Nick?”

“Finally,” he grunted. Almost Jenny felt he might be thinking, ‘no thanks to you.’ Was he still angry? It was hard to tell. He wasn’t yelling but was that a good sign or bad?

“Uncle Nick, I’m real sorry you hurt your head.”

“Are you now?” He asked, his back to her as he concentrated on the barbed wire. “Seems to me you could’ve saved everybody a lot of trouble if you’d just knocked to get back in the door when you got locked out.” He turned to look at her, “Yeah, Heath told me the whole story this afternoon so you needn’t look so surprised that I know. Why’d you have to go sneaking around the house anyway?”

“I didn’t want to get in trouble.”

Uncle Nick laughed. “Yeah, you sure stayed out of trouble didn’t you?”

Quick tears swam in Jenny’s eyes. Yup, he was still angry. “Why don’t you like me anymore, Uncle Nick?”

“Now what kind of a fool question is that?” Nick dropped the mallet he’d just picked up. He let loose of the barbed wire and grabbed Fancy’s reins instead. One hand on Jenny’s knee, he looked up into her teary face.

“It’s not a fool question,” Jenny could barely talk through her tears, “you don’t like me. You’re always hollering at me or finding fault when I try to do my chores. An’ every time I do one little thing wrong you make me clean out stinky old horse stalls or wash windows or some other nasty chore. You don’t like me like you use to before Daddy and me came here to live for always.”

“Hey, now, that’s not true.” Uncle Nick’s face blurred as Jenny looked into his dark eyes, but she thought he still looked a little angry.

“Yes, it is, “ Jenny put one hand over her face, too ashamed to look at him but knowing she had to say something she’d thought for the longest time and wished it wasn’t true. She always loved Uncle Nick so much. “I think you don’t like me because you wish Nicky was here instead of me.”

“Oh, Jenny,” Uncle Nick’s voice got soft. Before Jenny could protest or fight, he’d pulled her off Fancy, gathering her into his strong arms for one of his bear hugs. He hugged her a long time while Jenny cried, then carried her over to a fallen log setting her down. Nick sat down beside her, keeping tight hold of both her hands. “I’d never think that, honey, I love you.”

“But you loved Nicky better...you and Uncle Heath both did.”

“Jenny, we might’ve loved you both in different ways but we always loved you too.”

“Honest?”

Uncle Nick crossed his heart. “Honest.”

“Then how come you’re always so angry with me, Uncle Nick?”

Uncle Nick grinned at her, wiping her tears away with his thumb. “Maybe it’s not that I’m angry at you Jenny but at me. We’re a lot alike you know? You got a lot of Pappy in you too but maybe you’ll outgrow it before it warps you for good. If I’m hard on you, it’s because you’re a Barkley and that ain’t an easy thing to be in this Valley, Jenny. You’re gonna have to live up to a lot before you can fill these boots.”

He stretched his feet out in front of the log. Looking at them, Jenny figured she’d probably always be able to get most of both legs in one of Uncle Nick’s boots. Her eyes grew wide at the thought of trying to fill them with just her feet.

“Why I gotta fill your boots, Uncle Nick?”

“Aren’t you the one who wants to grow up to help Heath an’ me run the ranch?”

Jenny nodded.

“Then you gotta start learning how to do a good job right now. On a ranch you can’t have anybody slacking off, everybody has to pull their weight. That’s just the way it’s gotta be. When you don’t do a good job, it pulls everybody down. Understand?”

“I know, but...you’re always shouting at me like I don’t even try to do a good job. An’ I try real hard, Uncle Nick. I don’t like it when you’re angry with me.”

“Maybe I could try a little harder not to holler so much,” Uncle Nick promised. Sorry that he didn’t try to remember more how it felt to be nine years old and more concerned with having fun than doing chores.

“Uncle Nick? Do you remember when I was sick?”

Shocked, it wasn’t a subject any of them brought up in Jenny’s presence, Nick asked cautiously, “How much do you remember that time?”

“Not a whole lot. “ Jenny smoothed the skirt of her dress over her knees, brushed a speck of dust and grass off her left shoe before looking up to face him, “Daddy told me I was sick for a long, long time and in a hospital but I can’t remember any of that. But I remember one thing, Uncle Nick about you?”

“What about me?”

“I remember one night it was dark and I was so scared and crying and no one would come. Then you came Uncle Nick and I wasn’t scared anymore.” Jenny stopped, hesitating to speak what else she had on her mind. Making up her mind she rushed out the words,” But now, Uncle Nick, you make me afraid of you almost all the time. I wish....I wish you could just be that nice and kind just a teensy bit of the time.”

Nick held his arms out, glad when Jenny let him pull her onto his lap in a squeezing, loving hug.
“Jennifer Victoria Barkley, you are the darndest kid I ever knew. You know something? You’re right....I oughta stop hollering so much...maybe my head wouldn’t have hurt so much when I fell into that table. I don’t want you ever to be afraid of me, Jenny.”

“Oh,” Jenny spoke quietly, almost forgetting about why she’d stopped to talk to Uncle Nick in the first place.
“How many do I have to clean, Uncle Nick?”

“How many what?”’

“Horse stalls?” Jenny twisted around on his lap, turning her face to look into his. “For my punishment for making you get hurt. Daddy said I got to do anything you said because it was my fault. Don’t you want me to clean out the horse stalls?”

“No. No...this time I think I can think of something a little worse than that.”

Oh, this was bad. If she wasn’t going to be mucking out horse stalls, Uncle Nick must have something truly horrible in mind. He must still be angry as he was last night. Jenny didn’t want to ask. Worse than cleaning out stalls? Her mouth went dry, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Struggling, she finally managed to ask, “What?”

“I’m thinking, “ Uncle Nick answered, “I need to ride over to Pete’s Junction this Saturday to a horse auction. It’s gonna be a long, hot, dusty, miserable ride. I tell you that road is as rough as a washboard and jolts you something terrible. I’m thinking, I might want some company along.”

A horse auction! With Uncle Nick! Jenny’s heart soared to heights of joy before she remembered sadly that Uncle Nick would never take her to a horse auction for a punishment. No, probably that was the punishment that he wasn’t taking HER. Jenny thought of the years she’d pleaded and begged and all but cried her eyes out to be allowed to go to a horse auction with Uncle Nick. He never would take her or even promise he might take her when she got older.

“It wouldn’t be any picnic,” he said sternly, “after that long, hot, dusty..”

“Miserable?”

“Miserable ride,” Uncle Nick continued, “you’d have to stand around and be quiet while I studied the stock for sale. Then it’d be hours of sitting in a sweltering barn while the auction went on....and no fidgeting around or getting bored...you gotta sit still.”

He was! He was thinking about taking her! Jenny’s toes curled inside her boots in pure joy.
How long she’d waited to be able to go with Uncle Nick and now....no..maybe that was the punishment, he’d get her hopes up then tell her she couldn’t go. No, not even Uncle Nick would be that mean? Would he?

“You mean...I can really go?”

“It’ll be no picnic,” Uncle Nick repeated, “but Jarrod did say you had to do what I said didn’t he?”

Daddy. Jenny’s joy burst spilling out sorrow. Wasn’t any way Daddy was dumb enough to think going to a horse auction, something she’d longed to do forever and ever, was a punishment. Sorrowfully, Jenny said through tears, “Uncle Nick, Daddy won’t let me go.”

“Hey,” Uncle Nick’s voice got hard, “this is ranch business. Pappy won’t interfere because what I say goes.”

Joy surged again in Jenny’s heart. It WAS ranch work....

“A horse auction?” Daddy asked skeptically when Uncle Nick outlined the plan to him. “What kind of punishment is that? She’d learn more of a lesson polishing Heath’s boots.”

“Now, Jarrod,” Uncle Nick held up his hand to stop his protests, “we made an agreement years ago you wouldn’t interfere with ranch business. This is ranch business.”

Daddy grunted, as if he saw through the whole ruse and planned to make her stay home.

“Uncle Nick says I got to sit perfectly still in the auction and not make a sound or I might end up signaling the auctioneer that I want the worst horse in the place.” Jenny put a few words in on her behalf. “And Daddy, you always said Uncle Nick is boss of the ranch and I have to do everything he tells me.”

Daddy bopped the top of her head with his newspaper. “Well, if he can get you to sit still anyplace that would indeed be punishment. Go on, Nick, take her. Don’t fill her up with candy and sarsaparilla and if you end up with a lot of crowbait because she scratches her nose don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Three weeks.

Sitting at his office desk one afternoon, Jarrod looked at the calendar smugly satisfied that Jenny had managed to stay out of trouble for almost three entire weeks. No notes from Sister Patience. No sneaking out of bed at night. No dawdling on the way home. Jarrod choose to ignore such minor infractions as the afternoon she’d sassed her Grandmother and spent fifteen minutes weeping in a corner. By the time he’d gotten home, Jenny’s tears were spent and he’d found her in Mother’s lap being cuddled and spoiled with an oatmeal cookie. And he knew for a fact that Jenny had spent one recess writing twenty times on the blackboard, “I will not throw mud on Emily Parker.” And another writing, “When I do not do my arithmetic homework I hurt only myself.” Still, Jarrod leaned back in his chair, taking a soothing puff of his cigar, for three weeks she’d been almost an angel.

He pondered briefly if Jenny might be sick. No...she seemed healthy enough. Uneasily, he wondered if Jenny’s behavior had truly improved or this was just the calm before another storm. Would it last? Jarrod, brow furrowed, tried to think to whom he owed this turnaround in Jenny. Two names came to mind...Sister Patience and Mother.

Sister Patience had wisely decided that Jenny had too much time during school to get into mischief. As she later told Jarrod, Jenny was intelligent enough to keep up with her class and still find time for trouble making. It had been Sister Patience’s idea to have Jenny begin to help some of the other students with their work.

“I was most gratified,” she later told Jarrod, "that Jenny managed to teach Billy Duncan the boundaries of the New England states in just one afternoon. I’d been through two grueling weeks without putting a dent in his obstinate refusal to learn....”

Jarrod smiled to himself remembering the rest of Sister’s story....

“Jenny, I must compliment you on teaching Billy the New England state boundaries. How on earth did you manage?”

Smugly, standing at attention, Jenny answered, “I told him I’d punch him in the nose if he didn’t get it right.”

Horrified, Sister Patience’s mind darted toward the little children to whom Jenny had been teaching the alphabet. Had Jenny threatened to hit them too? “The little children...you didn’t....”

“Oh, no, Sister,” Jenny answered quickly not mentioning the peppermint drops she passed out for each right answer. “I wouldn’t ever hit anybody littler than me.”

Sister Patience made a mental note to question some of the children further on Jenny’s teaching habits. Perhaps this hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

“Then again, I must compliment you, Jenny. Have you ever given thought to becoming a teacher some day?”

“Oh, no, Sister,” Jenny answered without thinking how it sounded, “I think teaching’s the most dull work in the world.”

“While I can’t agree with you, Jenny, because I have always found teaching to be very rewarding,” Sister Patience said, “I can’t fault you for your honesty. Perhaps you have ambitions to become a lawyer like your father.”

Jenny made a face. Stick her nose in all those dusty law books all day? Never. “I’m going to help my Uncle Nick and Uncle Heath run our ranch.”

“Heaven help them,” Sister murmured.

Three whole weeks. Jarrod felt a slight twinge of unease...what would Jenny do next? He took three quick, nervous puffs of his cigar, put his feet up on his desk and leaned back in his chair. Maybe Audra’s upcoming party would keep her out of trouble. So far, Jenny’s attention out of school had been taken up with party preparations.

Trust Mother to suggest a party to ease Audra out of a case of the blues over Bill’s departure for parts unknown. Audra’s party claimed more and more of the female Barkley’s time and attention. Especially the business of having new dresses made for the party. Blue silk for Audra, green organdy for Jenny. Jarrod had heard enough details about that green organdy dress he almost thought he could have sewn it himself. Down to the “pink ribbon roses embroidered on the bodice.”

That Jenny was vain about clothes Jarrod already knew. Louisa, alarmed at such a trait, had tried almost in vain to curb what she considered Jenny’s concern more for outside beauty than inside beauty. Many times, Jarrod had come home in Salinas to comfort his weeping daughter because Louisa had curbed Jenny’s vanity by promptly handing over a dress to a ranch hand’s daughter. Always quick to learn, Jarrod recalled with a smile the day Jenny had thought to outsmart Louisa.. Grandmother Antonelli had given Jenny a white, smocked dress that made her strut like a peacock. Jenny adored that dress from the second she’d slipped it over her head. Jarrod had found her once admiring herself in the mirror, holding the skirt out and staring at herself from every angle. Ever quick to realize that her Mother wouldn’t allow such outward preening, Jenny threw a tantrum the next time she was told to wear the dress.

“It’s ugly! I hate it! I won’t wear it!”

Whether to punish Jenny for the outburst or the vanity, Louisa had promptly taken the dress. “Then I’m sure you shan’t mind if I give it to the little Modoc girl living with the Simpsons.” Jenny cried bitterly over that dress and the plain, dresses her Mother made her wear instead.

“Without even a pretty sash or any ribbons,” Jenny had told Jarrod mournfully. “Cause it’s better to be pretty inside than out.”

While Jarrod had agreed with his wife to some extent, he’d come to believe he didn’t mind a little vanity in Jenny. The many months he’d spent just trying to get his daughter to speak again had mellowed him more than he cared to admit. He found himself relishing the afternoons when Jenny would come dancing into his office, filled to the brim with details of her new dress. Details that required Jenny to stand still for long hours while the dressmaker measured and fit and pinned up the hem. Occupied like that, Jenny couldn’t begin to get into trouble. Could she?

That afternoon, Jarrod took another satisfied puff of his cigar. Experiencing, however briefly, the good feeling of a job well done. He’d gotten rid of the dime novels, whatever influence Jenny had taken from them and set her feet down a better path. You, Jarrod Barkley, he thought with a smug smile of satisfaction on his face, are turning out to be a good Father after all.

Later, Jarrod would regret that afternoon’s complacency. What trouble could Jenny get into? He could never have imagined....

Chapter 10

Dirty darn.

Jenny breathed a deep sigh of relief, as she spread the last forkful of fresh straw down in Fancy’s stall. Finally! All done with that chore. Too bad Uncle Nick had to catch her earlier and add on three extra stalls or she would’ve been done an hour ago. While Uncle Nick had been true to his promise not to holler so much , he was still Uncle Nick. Passing out horse stall cleaning as punishment. Still, Jenny felt a little kindlier toward Uncle Nick since he’d taken her to the horse auction. Much to her surprise, he’d even let her bid on a horse which even Uncle Heath said was “one of the finest pieces of horseflesh I ever saw.” And he really tried to be nicer to her most of the time..he’d even let her beat him at poker last night. Not that it changed anything when he caught her making mischief. Boy howdy, how that man could holler.

Dirty, dirty darn. Like poking an old cow’s back legs with a stick was anything to get all riled up about. So what if Buttercup kept looking at her with baleful eyes while she chewed her cud, stamping her hooves a little to get Jenny to quit? Bawling every few minutes like she was being killed?

“Jenny! What the devil are you doing to your Grandmother’s best milk cow?”

Dirty darn, caught again. Leaning down into the fence, poking Buttercup’s back hoof with a stick, Jenny didn’t have time to straighten up on her own before Uncle Nick grabbed her, jerking the stick out of her hand and tossing it away. He gave her a little shake before setting her on her feet. “Ain’t you got enough to do to keep you outta trouble?”

“It was an experiment, Uncle Nick,” Jenny tried to explain to her hot, dusty and angry uncle.
“I wasn’t hurting her none.”

“Well, now, she didn’t look too pleased with you poking that stick at her. I heard her bawling clean down to the corral.”

Since he had that horse stall cleaning look in his eyes, Jenny hastened to tell him just what she’d been trying to do. “She didn’t mind, Uncle Nick. I think I almost found out if it worked.”

“What? What worked?” He asked impatiently, fidgeting to get back to work.

“Billy said if you poke a cow in the back legs an’ you hit a special spot, they stand up on just their front two legs. Dontcha think that’d be a sight to see, Uncle Nick, a cow standing on it’s two front legs?”

Uncle Nick grunted, annoyed that he’d had to stop work for something so ridiculous. “No, I don’t. And you’d just better stop listening to all those crazy ideas Billy puts into your head. Did you do your chores yet?”

Jenny chewed her bottom lip anxiously. Looking up at Uncle Nick, she smiled slightly, “I was just about to do them, Uncle Nick. Honest.”

“Well, go do them!” Too bad she’d annoyed him. “Jenny, you got time to waste poking cows, you got time to work. Three extra stalls.”

Dirty darn. Well, she was finished now.

Jenny measured out grain for Fancy, dumped it into her feed box. Leaning against Fancy’s smooth nose, Jenny pat the pony then got busy working the snarls out of her coarse mane.

“Just be glad you don’t have an Uncle Nick,” she told the pony. “He stopped hollering as much but he still does sometimes. Guess that’s just Uncle Nick’s way.”

Over Fancy’s munching, Jenny crooned what a good horse she was, how sweet and her best friend. At least she could tell Fancy anything and not be accused of sassing or told to clean another horse stall. And Fancy never told her secrets...even her special one.

“Don’t tell anybody else, Fancy, but my Father of the Year essay is almost finished.” Jenny felt giddy with relief just thinking about how much writing those 500 words had cost her. “Member I told you a couple of weeks ago that I asked Sister Patience to teach me how to write with a pen and ink?”

Jenny stopped as Fancy looked up at her, some grains of oats dropping from the side of her mouth. “Well, maybe I didn’t tell you that. But, she is....I just asked her if I could stay in at recess and she said yes! Now I just have to copy my essay in ink and mail it in and maybe my Daddy will win the Father of the Year award. You think so, Fancy?”

Fancy kept her thoughts to herself, concentrating again on the few morsels she might have missed in her feed box. Jenny lovingly brushed the dark mane out of Fancy’s eyes, going on to another subject that brightened her life right now. Aunt Audra’s party.

“Guess what? I get to wear my new dress and stay up for two whole hours past my bedtime. I get to dance, even with all Aunt Audra’s beaus and Grandma said I might help pass out things to eat on little silver trays.” Jenny paused, enraptured over the thrills awaiting her in just two nights. Another thought crossed her mind, a dark shadow clouding her happiness. Surely, Uncle Nick wouldn’t just happen to mention to anybody that she’d been poking Buttercup. Would he? Grandma might not be too pleased to hear that. Not the way she and Mr. Silas doted on that silly old cow and how much cream she gave. Jenny worried the thought a few minutes, taking up a curry comb to work out snarls in Fancy’s mane. No, Uncle Nick wasn’t like that. Once he caught her, doled out the punishment it was forgotten. Jenny smiled, relieved she hadn’t squelched her chances of getting to pass the little silver trays in her green organdy dress. “With pink ribbon roses on the front,” Jenny whispered in pure pleasure.

Uncle Heath stuck his head in the barn, “Jenny, you about finished in here? I just passed through the house and Silas is waiting for you to set the table.”

“Okay,” Jenny answered giving Fancy an extra quick hug. Running out the barn door, she caught up to Uncle Heath, grabbing his hand and swinging his arm back and forth. “Uncle Heath, did I tell you I’m wearing a new dress to Aunt Audra’s party?”

He stopped, looked down at her with a pretend look of astonishment in his eyes, “Are you? Now didn’t you just tell me that about forty eleven times in the last few weeks?”

Jenny giggled. “Maybe I did...I’m just so excited! I love parties, don’t you?”

When Uncle Heath agreed that he too loved parties, Jenny danced around, still holding his hand as they walked toward the house. “Only two more nights to wait.”

They stopped so Jenny could go on in the front door while Heath went back to the corral. “You better stay outta trouble then, Jenny.” He said, patting the top of her head, “you wouldn’t want to miss it.”

Miss the party? Ha, Jenny thought racing in the door and going upstairs to change her dress so she could set the table. No way was she getting into trouble and missing the party.

At the top of the stairs, Soot came darting from somewhere, purring and rubbing up against Jenny’s legs. “Hi, Soot, you been a good boy today? I’ve been a very, very good girl for days and days and days....well, “ she leaned down to whisper in the cat’s ear, making sure no one was in the upstairs hall to hear, “almost.”

Jenny, with Soot following close at her heels, walked toward her bedroom with one thought in mind. Change out of her horse cleaning clothes so she could set the table. Too bad, she thought later with heartfelt regret, she hadn’t stuck with that plan. If she just hadn’t been tempted to go in Aunt Audra’s room along the way...

Stopping at Aunt Audra’s door, Jenny peeked inside. There it was. Aunt Audra’s dress for the party. Jenny, who loved pretty clothes, even someone else’s. had taken as much interest in the making of Aunt Audra’s dress as her own. Hadn’t she watched, practically holding her breath in excitement each time the blue silk dress with yards and yards of fabric in the skirt was slipped over Aunt Audra’s head?

Holding her hands behind her back so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch anything, Jenny walked slowly toward the vanity table where Aunt Audra’s dress lay spread out. Jenny wished someday she might have a dress such as that. Tiptoeing closer, Jenny stared at the pale purple violets embroidered on the bodice and covered with a sheer layer of material so it looked as if the violets were peeking from behind a lace curtain.

Jenny was careful not to touch the dress. Aunt Audra got awful mad at her the other day when she’d just reached out one finger to feel how cool and silky soft it was. Course, Jenny knew she should have washed that hand first, especially since she’d just gotten done eating a peppermint stick.

Why the idea entered her head just then, Jenny didn’t know. Why she should even think of the Father of the Year award at that particular moment. It did and the next thought that followed seemed simple enough. Aunt Audra kept ink, a whole bottle of fresh black ink, in her desk drawer.

“I’ll just get it now,” Jenny told Soot who sat washing a paw on the floor, “and take it into my room. That way I can write my essay after supper.”

The desk was on the other side of the room from the dress laid out on the vanity. Jenny figured even she was safe enough getting it out of the drawer and carrying it carefully to her room. Making sure to stay far away from the dress, Jenny walked to the desk, opened the drawer...ah, there it was. Picking up the bottle, Jenny uncorked it to see if there looked to be enough ink to write a whole essay. From her lessons with Sister Patience, Jenny knew firsthand how much ink it took her to write a whole sentence.

Carefully, Jenny put the cork back in the top of the bottle. Hm, it wasn’t going down as easy as it came out. It didn’t fit quite as tight. Still, Jenny figured she’d be safe enough just walking down the hall to her room.

As Jenny turned to walk out of the room, she forgot Soot in her haste. REOWWW! Soot screeched as Jenny stepped down on his tail, tripping over the vanity stool and falling toward the vanity and the dress. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no! The cork flew out of the bottle and a puddle of ink splashed onto the vanity. Jenny squeezed her eyes tight, not daring to look. I couldn’t have ruined Aunt Audra’s dress. I couldn’t.

Slowly, hardly daring to breath, Jenny squinted first one eye and then the other open. Her breath came out in a whoosh of relief. While the ink had spilled down on the vanity stool and begun to drip steadily into the floor, it hadn’t touched the dress. Thank goodness!

Jenny sat the bottle of ink down on the vanity, well away from the dress. If she could just find a towel, she might be able to wipe up the damage before anyone saw it. She hurried toward the bathroom, grabbed up a towel and ran back into Aunt Audra’s room. Staring in horror at Soot, standing up on the vanity, batting at the bottle of ink. As she watched, frozen in place, the cat tipped the ink over. Finally, seeing the puddle of ink oozing closer and closer to an edge of the skirt, Jenny dropped the towel, ran toward the vanity frantically grabbing up the bottle. Soot, thinking she’d entered his game, jumped up scratching her arm. Jenny would never forget what happened next. Forever in her mind she’d see the rest of the ink in the bottle splashing in a perfect arch and landing in a big, spreading stain on the yards of Aunt Audra’s new blue dress.

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. I am in BIG trouble now.

Jenny stood there a few seconds, holding the bottle biting her lip as she decided what to do next. Tears spilled over as she looked at the dress. I ruined it. I ruined Aunt Audra’s dress.

“No, Soot!”

Before Jenny could stop him, Soot jumped from the clean spot on the vanity into the puddle of ink. “Scat!” Jenny shooed him off, sorry she did. Soot scampered onto the yards of blue silk, leaving behind what looked to Jenny like hundreds of paw prints. Indelible black paw prints. Aunt Audra wouldn’t be wearing that dress to any party. Ever.

In tears, Jenny bit her lip harder. What am I going to do now? What? Not knowing quite what to do, she set the bottle of ink down on the vanity. Aunt Audra would be so angry. And Daddy. Daddy had just told her last night how proud he was that she’d managed to stay out of trouble for so long. He’d even brought her a new doll from the Emporium in Stockton just because.
Jenny thought she’d rather anything happen to her than have to tell Daddy she’d been this naughty. He might even make her MISS the party! Jenny stamped her foot in frustration.

I can’t. I just can’t. And as she thought that, Jenny realized it was all very simple. Soot’s paw prints were all over the dress. Maybe if she just left everything exactly as it was, Aunt Audra would think it was all Soot’s fault. Jenny didn’t really want him blamed. Poor Soot had faced complaints before over leaving behind presents in Uncle Nick’s bed or chewing tatters in Grandma’s curtains. He was always banished to the barn for awhile after that which made Jenny sad knowing how lonely poor Soot must be out there. Still, it might be better for Soot to spend awhile in the barn than for her to be punished. Jenny knew she wouldn’t get off with polishing boots or going to horse auctions for something this bad.

Carefully, Jenny turned her back and walked away. She made sure to search her hands for any signs of ink while she got cleaned up. Thank goodness she hadn’t spilled any on herself! Maybe it would be alright. Maybe...

“Jennifer Barkley!”

Jenny thought her heart had stopped, hearing Grandma shouting up the stairs. Running, dripping water down her arms, Jenny ran to the top of the stairs. Don’t come up yet. Don’t come up yet.

“Yes, Grandma?”

“What are you doing? I need this table set and I need it set now!

“I’m coming, truly I am.”

“See that you do. Audra is staying in town for dinner with her friend, Martha, and I need your help.”

“I’m coming, I still have to change my dress.” Jenny ran back toward her room, hurried into a clean dress and ran a hurried hairbrush through her mussed hair. Aunt Audra wouldn’t be back home until later. That gave her some time before anyone found out. Stay calm, Jenny told herself as she ran back down the stairs and into the dining room. If you stay calm, maybe no one will guess you did it. Somehow, Jenny couldn’t quite make herself believe she could be so lucky. As she picked up the dinner plates to put around the table, her hands shook and her legs wobbled.

Jenny hoped to make it through dinner, at least, without anyone finding out. So much for hopes.

“Jennifer Victoria Barkley!” Daddy shouted five minutes after he’d gotten home, even before they sat down to dinner. Jenny, who’d just sat down the last of the plates, cringed in fear. He couldn’t, couldn’t have seen Aunt Audra’s dress yet. He’d just gone upstairs to change his clothes.

When he came shouting into the dining room, holding a handful of white shirts, Jenny’s heart went kerplunk. Clean white shirts, freshly pressed with lots and lots of blank inked paw prints. Soot! She’d been so worried about Aunt Audra’s dress she hadn’t thought about him another second after she chased him out of the room. Looks like he’d made Daddy’s room his next catastrophe.

“Look what that cat’s done to my clean shirts!”

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry does not help! Where did he get in ink anyway? Have you been playing around on my desk again?” He asked sternly.

Jenny blinked back quick tears. “No, Daddy, I wasn’t playing with any ink.” It wasn’t a lie, truly a lie, she thought. I wasn’t playing with it.

“He stepped in it somewhere,” Daddy was not about to get over being mad that easily. “I’d better not find out you had anything to do with it. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Jenny whispered. She understood all right.

No one knew!

Lying in bed that night, Jenny tried to put her finger on just why her stomach ached and her head hurt. Nothing awful had happened to her. Nothing. Jenny couldn’t quite believe no one had even suspected her. Even Daddy, after he’d gotten done complaining about his shirts, seemed to believe she was innocent. Poor Daddy. Tears spilled from the corners of Jenny’s eyes dripping into her ears.

I lied to my Daddy.

Might be that no one suspected her because no one had seen Aunt Audra’s dress yet. Aunt Audra had sent word out that she was spending the night with Martha. Martha needed help with her dress for the party so Aunt Audra was helping.

Jenny couldn’t see her own dress, hanging just inside her wardrobe, but she knew it was there. If Aunt Audra found out she’d ruined the blue silk, would she be wearing her own dress to the party? Would she even be going to the party? If anyone found out, Jenny knew she’d been punished somehow. Seriously punished.
The more Jenny thought about it, laying alone in the dark, the tighter her heart squeezed, the more tears fell. She’d listened to Sister Patience enough to know that her conscience hurt. That guilt made her stomach queasy. Guilt and the dread of finding out just how she’d be punished when Aunt Audra got home. Even if everyone blamed Soot, Jenny knew sooner or later someone would figure out who was really responsible. They always did.

Jenny turned her face into her pillow, crying in earnest. Her thoughts raced round and round as she felt worse and worse. Aunt Audra was always so nice to her. She’d promised not to tell Daddy about the night Jenny tripped Uncle Nick and clawed Uncle Heath’s leg and she hadn’t. Jenny remembered sorrowfully a few other secrets Aunt Audra had kept too. And I ruined her pretty dress...

How long she cried, Jenny didn’t know. After awhile, she just wanted to tell someone what she’d done. No, not just someone, she wanted to tell Daddy. Jenny remembered, not without some fear, the last time she’d ruined Daddy’s briefs with ink. It wasn’t that she wanted him that angry with her again. Dirty darn. She didn’t want him angry with her at all....not if it meant she got spanked or told she couldn’t go to the party.

When she couldn’t stand the remorse a second longer, Jenny pushed back her quilts and got out of bed. I have to tell him. I have to!

Jarrod knew he’d been asleep for less than half an hour. He knew because he’d just sat up finishing some work he needed for the next day and as he dragged his weary body to bed he’d seen that it was 3:30 a.m. by the grandfather clock in the foyer. When he felt the small hand, shaking his shoulder, his bleary eyes focused on the small bedside clock that told him the time was now 3:56 a.m. With one part of his mind, Jarrod counted the fact that if he fell asleep right then, he’d have less than two hours of sleep before he must be up.

“Daddy, Daddy,” Jenny sobbed, shaking his shoulder, “please wake up.”

Realization hit, Jarrod forced his eyes back open looking at his tearful daughter. “Jenny! Are you sick?” Jenny rarely roused him at night. Even for a nightmare she usually went to Mother or Audra.

“No, Daddy, no,” She cried louder, “I did an awful, awful thing!”

I knew it was too good to last, Jarrod thought. I also know whatever it is I do not want to know at, he looked over at the clock, 4:02 a.m. “Jennifer, do you know what time it is?”

Jenny shook her head. Who cared what time it was?

“I do,” he told her sternly, barely able to control his anger at being woken up, “and in case you are interested I have to be up in a few hours.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m truly sorry,” Jenny interrupted, “but I have to tell you...”
“Jennifer. I’m only going to say this once. If you are not sick or dying, I want you to go back to bed at once!” Jenny flinched, sobs catching in her throat as he shouted. “If you don’t, you are going to be one sorry little girl!”

Jenny backed away from his bed a little. “But, Daddy, you told me not to ever be afraid to come to you and tell you what I did. You said I should tell you if I did something naughty. You said!”

“Not at 4:00 in the morning!” Jarrod shouted, starting to get up. “Go back to bed!”

As he moved to put his feet on the floor, Jenny ran back toward the door running from his anger. At the door, she stopped . Swiping at the tears coursing down her cheeks, Jenny looked at him as if she’d been betrayed by the person she trusted most. “You didn’t mean what you said,” she cried, “You said I could come to you and I can’t.” Jenny wailed out the “I can’t!” and ran out of the room.

Jarrod laid back down, tried to reposition his pillow and get back to sleep as quickly as possible. Five minutes of pillow punching, shifting for a comfortable position on the mattress, Jarrod admitted defeat and opened his eyes. Looking at the clock the thought came. If I feel asleep right now, I’d get one and a half hours sleep. No chance of that. Not with Jenny’s words beating in his brain.

You’re the one who told her to come to you, he berated himself. The one who told her you didn’t want her to be afraid to tell you what she’d done. So, the first time she does, you shout like Nick and send her back to bed. Jarrod couldn’t get her parting shot, “you said I could come to you and I can’t” out of his mind.

He dreaded finding out just what mischief she’d gotten into. I don’t want to know, Jarrod thought as he got up wearily. Doesn’t look as if I’ll get any sleep tonight...this morning. When he reached Jenny’s bedroom, he could hear her smothered sobs through the door. His refusal to listen had hurt her badly.

“Jenny, I’m sorry,” he told her as he laid down beside her, Since Jenny’s bed was so small and he was a big man, Jarrod felt as if he might roll over the edge any second. He put his arm around his heartbroken daughter, trying not to regret the sleep he was missing. “I should have listened to you when you came to talk to me.”

“You said I could,” Jenny wept, “but you didn’t mean it.”

“Honey, I meant it...I’m just very tired.” I don’t want to ask this. Maybe if I don’t ask it will all be a nightmare and I’ll wake up. “What did you want to tell me.?”

“I did an awful, awful thing! I spilled the ink!”

Jarrod sighed, shifted so he didn’t fall off on the floor, “Somehow, Jenny, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“But, Daddy, you don’t understand...” Jenny wailed going on to tell him the whole story of Audra’s dress.

No, Jarrod thought, I didn’t want to hear this. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. When he didn’t answer, Jenny turned to look at him with a tear blotched face. “Are you going to spank me?”

“No, Jenny.”

Jenny started to cry harder, “You aren’t going to make me tell Aunt Audra I ruined her dress!”

Jarrod nodded. “Don’t you think you should?”

“No, no, no...I don’t want to tell her! She’s going to be angry and she might not let me come to her party!”

“Jenny, that will be up to Audra...it is her party.” Jarrod wondered briefly if he could still get an hour of sleep. “If you hadn’t been playing with the ink, you wouldn’t have ruined her dress. If she chooses to tell you not to come, I’d consider that just punishment for your actions. Wouldn’t you?”

Jenny turned her face away again. “No! And I wasn’t playing with the ink! I just wanted to borrow it!”

No, I’m not getting any sleep tonight. “Jenny, did you ever think it might have been simpler to wait for me to get home and ASK if you could use my ink? Audra wouldn’t have lost a dress and I wouldn’t have lost about four good shirts.”

Jenny wouldn’t answer, just cried harder. Patting her back, Jarrod tried to comfort her without ending up in the floor. He thought briefly of the afternoon in his office when he’d complimented himself on what a wonderful Father he had turned out to be. What a fool! He told himself, hoping wearily that he got out of the house in the morning before Audra saw her dress.

Chapter 11

Jenny didn’t have to wait long the next morning for her fears to become reality. As she sat on her bed, buttoning up her shoes, she heard Aunt Audra coming along the hall, greeting Uncle Heath. Putting her feet down on the floor, Jenny wrapped her arms around herself so she wouldn’t be tempted to cover her ears.

“Mother!” Aunt Audra shrieked.

Well, she’d seen the dress, Jenny thought.

“Mother!”

Maybe the carpet and the vanity too.

“Mother!”

Uncle Heath came running first because her shrieks had caught him going down the stairs to breakfast. Jenny heard his questioned, “What’s wrong?” One of the interesting words as he must have surveyed the carnage to Aunt Audra’s room and Aunt Audra’s weeping. By the time Grandma arrived, breathlessly from running up the stairs, Aunt Audra’s wails could be heard all up and down the hallway. Jenny waited, her palms sweaty , her heart racing for what would happen next.

“Jennifer Victoria Barkley!”

Cautiously, Jenny opened her bedroom door to face the wrath of her Grandmother. “Yes, Grandma?”

“Come here and look at what that cat has done!”

I don’t have to look, Jenny thought, wiping her palms along the side of her black checked dress. I’ve seen it all before. Uncle Heath gave her a quizzical look as she passed him to peek in Aunt Audra’s doorway. Aunt Audra sat on the bed, holding the blue silk dress up to her face, sobbing.

Boy howdy, it sure looked worse than Jenny remembered. Were there THAT many paw prints all over everything? And such a gigantic puddle of ink on the floor and down the front of the vanity? Jenny’s stomach flipped over...and I have to admit I did this.

“You are going to have to take that cat out to the barn,” Grandma scolded,” and keep him there! This is the last straw. Do you hear me, young lady?”

“Yes, Grandma,” Jenny whispered. Too bad she’d had to blab to Daddy last night. If only they would all keep blaming Soot life sure would be simpler.

“It wasn’t enough that he ruined four of your Father’s shirts last night, now this!” angrier than Jenny had ever seen her. “And Audra stop that wailing! If you hadn’t left ink out on your vanity none of this would have happened! I can’t believe you could be so careless.”
That reprimand broke through Aunt Audra’s crying fit. Lifting her eyes from the stained dress, she denied vehemently, “I didn’t leave ink there! Really, Mother, credit me with some common sense.”

Uncle Heath looked down at Jenny. Jenny tried to avoid his eyes. Boy howdy, he was a mind reader, just like Daddy. He knew just by looking at her that she had something to do with it! I can’t get away with anything! Maybe it’s like Daddy always says, I have guilt written all over my face.

“I did it,” Jenny confessed in a small voice. Glad when Uncle Heath put his strong hand on her shoulder with a comforting pat.

Grandma and Aunt Audra looked at her, shock plain on both their faces. “You, Jenny?” Grandma finally found her voice. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“It was an accident,” Jenny whispered, near tears. “I wouldn’t hurt your dress for anything Aunt Audra. I’m truly, truly sorry.”

Apparently, her apology was not accepted. “You’re always sorry, Jenny!” Aunt Audra shouted at her. Jenny couldn’t ever remember her doing that before. “But it isn’t going to fix my dress is it? Sorry isn’t enough!”

Jenny backed away, startled to be talked to so hatefully. Beside her, Uncle Heath put steadying hands on her shoulders.

“Audra, Audra,” Grandma tried to comfort her, “it isn’t the end of the world. Your wardrobe is filled with dresses.” Not making much progress with Aunt Audra, she turned to Jenny, “Go get your breakfast. And don’t be late for school!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Grandma sounded so cool toward her this morning. No, I sure won’t be going to that party. Jenny could hardly keep back the tears as Uncle Heath walked her toward the dining room.

“Boy howdy, Jenny, you sure know how to stir up a house before breakfast.”

“Please, don’t tease, Uncle Heath, “ Jenny blinked fast to keep the tears from falling, “It was an accident.”

“It always is, little one.” He gave her a quick kiss, left her in Silas’ care and went off to start a day of work. Jenny sat alone and forlorn at the big table struggling to swallow a few bites of eggs and toast past the lump in her throat. Finally, she pushed most of her uneaten breakfast away. With her eyes full of unshed tears, she walked out to the barn where Ciego already had Fancy saddled to leave.

“Why so glum today, Jenny?” Sister Patience asked that afternoon, “Is it something I can help with?”

Tell Sister Patience about the ink and the dress? No way, no how! There was another problem Jenny had, one she’d thought of since re-reading the fine print in the Father of the Year advertisement.. Maybe Sister Patience could help with that? It might help to have something go right today.

Quickly, before she could change her mind, Jenny told Sister Patience about the Father of the Year contest and those two puzzling words she didn’t understand. Deadline and Posted By.

“Oh, well, that’s easy enough,” Sister Patience didn’t seem surprised that Jenny would try to enter a contest. Happily, she didn’t make fun of the idea or tell Jenny she was too young to try.
“Deadline means the last date the newspaper will accept entries in the contest. Posted by means you must mail it by that date. Do you know the dates?”

Jenny pulled the well worn advertisement from the pocket of her dress, handing it over to Sister anxiously. Would there still be time? She’d never thought of running out of time to send in her essay.

“Oh, Jenny,” Sister’s brow puckered, “you only have today and tomorrow to get your essay written and posted. If you wish it to reach San Francisco in time, you must post it no later than tomorrow.”

Tomorrow?

“You mean I gotta finish writing it tonight and make sure it goes out on tomorrow’s mail train?”

Sister nodded, her face showing sympathy. “Yes, you have to finish today or tomorrow morning. I wish you had told me about this earlier, Jenny. If you had only mentioned this as the reason you wished to learn how to write with pen and ink, I’d have made time for you to write your essay here in school. Perhaps I could have helped you.”

“That’s alright, Sister,” Jenny tried not to let her true feelings show, “maybe I’ll have time to finish at home.”

In truth, Jenny felt disheartened about the whole business. Almost as if she didn’t care anymore. Look at all the trouble it had already gotten her into! If it wasn’t that she wanted so much to do this for Daddy. For Daddy and me, Jenny thought, even if it is selfish. I want Daddy to take me to San Francisco where I won’t have to share him with anybody else. Not for a whole week.

Leaving school that afternoon, Jenny was in no particular hurry to get home and face Aunt Audra or Grandma. She knew better though than to stop anywhere along the way. Who needed to get in any more trouble? Not her!

As she rode Fancy past Daddy’s office, she looked up to see him motioning her to come inside.
Had he decided to be angry about the ink after all? Jenny tied Fancy to a rail, her stomach doing frog flops inside.

Daddy sat behind his desk by the time Jenny walked into the office, hesitating at the door to test how badly this would go for her.

“Jenny, I need for you to take this wire home to your Uncle Nick, it’s about some cattle prices he wanted from Sacramento.” He handed her the wire, not smiling but not looking too angry. “And tell your Grandmother I won’t be home for dinner. I’ve been invited out. I’ll be home later tonight.”

‘Yes, Daddy,” Jenny took the wire, curiosity overcoming her desire to get away quick before he could talk about last night. “Where are you going?”

“Gloria Chapman and her parents have invited me for dinner.”

Jenny made a face, forgetting for a moment the hot water she was already in, “I don’t like her.”

“I do,” Daddy stated simply.

“Aren’t you till tired, Daddy,” Jenny tread on dangerous ground, reminding him of his sleepless night, still Gloria Chapman, yuck!

“Not a bit. I rented a hotel room this afternoon and had a nice long nap without anyone waking me up.”

Uh, oh.

“Maybe I better hurry home and give this to Uncle Nick.” Jenny walked quickly toward the door but not fast enough.

“Jenny, come back here, please.”

Biting her lip, Jenny turned around and walked closer. Careful to keep the desk between them.
“Did you tell your Aunt Audra about her dress?”

“She found out on her own, but I told her I left the ink out.”

“What did she say?”

“She cried.” Jenny found it hard not to cry herself at that particular moment. “I told her I was sorry but she said sorry wasn’t enough.”

Daddy looked at her sadly, “No, sometimes it isn’t enough. I looked in Audra’s room before I left this morning. What you did, Jenny...” He stopped as if he couldn’t think of words to describe the sight he’d seen. “There’s no excuse for such careless, thoughtless behavior.”

“No, Daddy,” Jenny agreed. Knowing even before he passed out sentence what he was going to say.

“I don’t know what Audra will say about this. She has the right to say plenty. But I’m telling you right now, Jenny, you are not going to that party tomorrow night. You’re going to spend the weekend in your room thinking about how your careless behavior has hurt other people.”

Lower lip trembling, Jenny whispered, “Yes, Daddy.”

“Jenny, you’re like your Uncle Nick. You both take action before you stop to think about the consequences. If you had stopped to think you’d never have gotten that ink anywhere near Audra’s dress. If you had used the brain I know you have, you would never have touched the ink in the first place. Or been in Audra’s room without her permission.”

Jenny couldn’t answer even a “Yes.” IF she did, she’d start crying. Maybe he knew he’d scolded enough. That she felt lower than a rotting log.

“You’d better get on home now. Your Grandma had several chores she needed you to do for the party.”

Ha, like I want to do chores for a party I’m not going to. This is the bitterest disappointment in my life, Jenny thought. Head down, she turned to walk back outside when a thought popped into her head. She looked back to see Daddy had gone back to work on whatever he’d been writing before she came. Could she ask? Without getting into more trouble? He might get awful, awful angry. He might not either.

Jenny made up her mind, walked with shaky legs until she was close enough to touch Daddy’s arm. “Daddy?”

He looked up, a little annoyed she hadn’t left.

Before she lost her courage, Jenny almost whispered, “Daddy, you won’t take her to Lover’s Leap will you?”

Daddy’s face softened. He smiled, put down his pen and gave her a hug that made up for his scolding before. “No, Jenny, I won’t. Run along. I’ll be home tonight.”

“Jenny, I’m glad you’re home,” were the first words Grandma said when Jenny walked timidly in the front door that afternoon. “I need you to change into some old clothes and start polishing that silver for the party.”

Sure didn’t sound like Grandma was still mad about the ink. But what about Aunt Audra?

“Is Aunt Audra here?”

Grandma, fussing around arranging flowers in the parlor looked at Jenny still standing by the stairs. “Yes, she is. She and her friend, Martha have been in and out all day borrowing a pink dress Martha’s cousin, or was it her niece, well, whoever it was...it was a pink dress they wore to someone’s wedding and Audra is going to borrow that for the party. It looks much better on her than the blue.”

Jenny, having managed to follow all that smiled happily. Maybe it had all worked out after all.

“Is she still angry at me?”

“Yes, she is. She tried to open her vanity door and found ink had leaked onto all of her new stationery. It’s ruined. Soot also managed to climb all over the white, lace coverlet on the bed so that is ruined.” Gee, Jenny thought to herself, he must have gone back in after I left. "As if that weren’t enough, Audra’s scarf from Paris, the one Eugene sent her, is ruined as well.”

“Oh.”

“Just stay out of Audra’s way for awhile. I’m sure she’ll get over being angry in a few days. Now go change your clothes. I need help with that silver.”

Help, Not allowed to go to the party but forced to polish the silver. Then having to spend a whole, long weekend a prisoner in her room. It wasn’t fair!

It wasn’t fair!

Jenny hadn’t been allowed to work on her essay. Grandma kept her busy from one second to the next polishing silver, dusting, cleaning, helping peel and chop food she’d never get to eat at the party. Sitting at the kitchen table, Jenny’s anger grew and grew. It wasn’t fair! Just because she tried to do something nice for Daddy she kept getting into trouble. Why couldn’t she just do something nice for him without causing so much heartache for herself? Jenny figured she’d peeled fifty million potatoes when all that anger just came fizzing out. Before she could think about consequences like Daddy told her to, she’d thrown a potato at Silas and sassed Grandma.
Not that it got her out of the potato peeling. Ha! Grandma made her finish every single one of those potatoes then made her go to bed without supper.

Sitting on her bed, she would NOT get in it, Jenny came face to face with the consequences of throwing potatoes. She’d hoped to finish her chores tonight in time to copy the essay in ink. If she could just do that, even if she would in her room all day tomorrow, surely she could find someone going into town to post the letter. Now how would she write it?

Grandma told her to go to bed. There’d be trouble if she didn’t. If she got up after everyone went to sleep, she ran the risk of Daddy coming home and seeing that she’d lit a lamp. Jenny knew she’d have to light a lamp. She HAD to. Daddy would just have to understand. If she wanted to finish the essay, she had to have light. And if she couldn’t write in the house, Jenny gulped as the naughty thought came to her, she’d have to go outside. Alone. In the dark. After dark. Daddy would NOT like that. He most definitely would not. Still...if he just knew what she was doing wouldn’t he say there were...some kind of “circumstances?” Like when his clients did something wrong but they had a good reason for breaking the law. Wouldn’t Daddy be so happy when he won Father of the Year that he wouldn’t care that she had to disobey him, doing so many wrong things? Jenny hoped so. Even while doubts nibbled at her conscience.

As she changed into her nightgown and robe, Jenny worried the problem of where to write in her mind. Daddy hadn’t come home yet. She couldn’t be in the barn when he did. The bunkhouses were out of the question. Jenny shuddered in terror at the thought of going to the line shack or anywhere farther than the barn and corral. Where? Where? Where could she write and be hidden?

The tack room! She could light a lamp, stuff some rags under the door so the light wouldn’t show. Even when Daddy brought Jingo into the barn he wouldn’t know she was in the tack room. Would it be right to disobey Daddy like that? And Uncle Nick? If she lit a match in the barn and used a lantern, she’d be breaking one of Uncle Nick’s rules. Never take a lantern in the barn by herself. She’d have to wait till Uncle Nick went to bed. She’d have to wait until everyone went to bed. And this time she’d make sure the door was unlocked so she could get back inside!

When the house was finally quiet, Jenny got up. Putting the bottle of ink, carefully corked, and the pen into her robe pocket, she picked up the dime novel she’d found earlier to hold her essay.
Wouldn’t Daddy be so proud of her for finding that dime novel under her mattress and not even trying to read it? Well, she’d peeked at a few pages...then stopped herself. It’s main use now was to keep her essay pages from wrinkling.

It was easy enough to get to the barn, although her heart thudded all the way. Pounding so loudly that Jenny worried someone might wake up and hear. Very carefully, she’d made her way first to the kitchen to get some matches from the match safe. A lantern she could find in the barn.

The dark space between the house and the barn seemed filled with eerie shadows. Jenny hurried along, her bare feet wet with cold dew. Brrrr. Shivering, she pushed open the door to the barn. Fancy whinnied in greeting. Charger stamped impatiently and some of the other horses stirred a little. Sure was dark in here too. Jenny had never been inside the barn after dark before. The horses were some comfort though, their hot breaths and snuffling giving her courage.

Jenny found a lantern hanging right inside the tack room. Cautiously, she put down the dime novel holding the essay. Carefully, biting her tongue, Jenny lit the match. Holding it well away from anything else, Jenny lit the lantern as she’d seen the grown ups do thousands of times. Breathing a sigh of relief when it caught and a bright light filled the tack room. That wasn’t so hard.

Moving quickly, the light banishing some of her fear, Jenny closed the door, stuffing an old feed sack in the crack between floor and door bottom. Now no one would even know she was in here.
Jenny set the lantern carefully on a bale of hay. Dirty darn. It was harder to write out here than she’d thought. Even laying her paper on the dime novel the hay made a lumpy desk. Jenny wrote as fast as she dared, dipping the pen in the ink, waiting for the excess to drip back into the bottle before she touched the nib to the clean paper.

Later, Jenny tried to think about what had happened first. Had the pen hit the lamp? Or her arm? Or had she bumped the hay upsetting the lantern? All she could recall clearly was that the pen had balked. Jenny shook. Dirty darn! Double dirty darn! Ink sloshed all over the paper ruining three carefully written sentences. Shoving the pages into the floor in frustration, it had to happen. One second the lantern sat upright on the hay, the next Jenny watched in horror as it tipped over.

Jenny grabbed for it, amazed as a few tiny sparks of flame caught, eating holes into the essay on the tack room floor.

Oh, no, oh, no. How could such tiny sparks jump out all over the hay! Jenny stood rooted in one spot long enough for several flames to ignite the hay, jump on the floor and race along as it followed the trail of spilled kerosene from the lantern. Put it out! Put it out! The warning screamed in Jenny’s mind. Finally, as the flames shot out closer to the saddles, Jenny hurried into action. Oh, no! Not Uncle Nick’s brand new saddle! The one he wouldn’t let anyone else touch! Her first thought was to try to save the saddle. Lift it away from the flames eating up the wooden legs of the sawhorse it sat out. Too heavy. Sobbing in sudden fear, Jenny tried, straining to lift the saddle back onto the sawhorse. It fell heavily. Jenny tried to lift it back then saw more flames darting away behind her. Heard the horses on the other side of the wall whinny in sudden fear.

Water. Water. I need water. No, Uncle Heath throws a horse blanket on a small fire. To Jenny’s horrified eyes, it didn’t look anything like a small fire. Still, she grabbed the first blanket she saw, beating at a cascade of flames that slipped up from under the beating blanket to bite into more hay.

The fire bell. I need to ring the fire bell. Jenny ran toward the door, eyes blurred with tears. Then suddenly, Daddy shoved open the door of the tack room, staring at the scene shocked beyond belief to find her there. “Jenny!” He shouted, jerking her away, shoving her out of the room. Jenny sank down, weeping in the hall connecting the stalls. Daddy ran past her, grabbing up a pail of water that always sat in the hallway. Running back inside, he tossed it, dousing the worst flames that burned toward the saddles. Grabbing up the horse blanket, he began to beat the small darts of flame cropping up along the floor. While Jenny cried and watched, he quickly went from one burning spot to another, beating out flames that were smoldering. Everything smelled wet and burnt and horrible. The horses, frightened, stomped and whinnied and knocked at their stalls. Jenny could only sit on the floor, crying, terrified as she imagined what might have happened if Daddy hadn’t come along.

Finally, he’d beaten out all the live flames. Grabbing a rake, he raked the smoldering hay into a pile in the hallway, careful to douse it again and again with water. When the fire seemed completely out, he stood over Jenny angrily demanding, “What are you doing out here?”

“I can explain, Daddy,” Jenny tried and got no farther.

Holding up the partially burnt dime novel he’d found while raking the hay, Daddy slapped it down on his hand. “This is explanation enough, Jennifer! You came out here to read this didn’t you? After I forbid you to do it?”

Jenny had never seen him this angry at her. “No, Daddy, truly I didn’t! If you would listen...”

“Don’t lie to me,” he warned. Oh, this was bad. Very, very bad. If he wouldn’t even listen.

“I’m not. I..”

He wasn’t listening anyway. “How did that fire start?”

“I knocked over a lantern.” Might as well confess that much. Feeling doomed, Jenny knew she wouldn’t be talking her way out of this. “I didn’t mean to start a fire.”

“Who lit the lamp? You?” At Jenny’s nod, his anger flared worse than before, “How many times have you been told not to light a lamp? Did you learn nothing from setting my office on fire?”

“Yes, Daddy, I did...but I had to write something important and I didn’t think you’d mind if I...”

“You didn’t think at all! You deliberately disobeyed me, Jennifer! You know you’re not to light a lamp! And what are you doing out here alone? Are you allowed out after dark? You know you aren’t! Why would you disobey me like this just to read a dime novel? Did you not think at all?”

“No, sir. “ Mournfully, Jenny answered. Suddenly aware by the hard look in Daddy’s eyes that she would be learning some consequences for this. One she wouldn’t like. “Please, don’t spank me, Daddy.”

Too bad he didn’t listen. Sitting down on a bale of hay, he grabbed her arm, pulled her over his knees and started spanking before Jenny could worry about it another second. When he finished and stood her back on her feet, Jenny cried so hard her chest hurt. He stood her in front of him, holding her arms down to her sides while he started scolding about how she was never, ever to do such a thing again. How she might have been burnt or killed from the fire. He kept on and on but Jenny heard hardly anything he said. Her sobs filled her ears, her bottom hurt and her feelings were crushed. It wasn’t fair! He wouldn’t even try to listen.

When he finally ran out of angry words, he stood up, grabbed her hand and marched her toward the house. They stopped once at the bunkhouse to wake Ciego so he could make sure a spark didn’t catch up again in the tack room. Daddy took the opportunity to yell at her about how Ciego had to lose sleep over her carelessness. Jenny sobbed into her free hand all the way into the house and up to her room. He wouldn’t let go of her until they were in her bedroom.

“You can put on a fresh nightgown,” he told her in the same irritated voice.

Jenny, still crying in hiccups, did as she was told. Noticing for the first time that her nightgown was covered in soot, smelled smoky and there was even a small burnt edge to one side of the hem.

Daddy pulled the covers back. Right before he picked her up and put her into bed, he gave her two more spanks as reminders. Fresh tears burned her eyes as they fell over her already raw eyelids. It wasn’t fair! Instead of kissing her goodnight, he jerked the covers up to tuck her in saying harshly, “Do not even let the thought enter that stubborn little head of yours about getting out of this bed again tonight. I am deeply disappointed in you, Jenny.”

As soon as he left the room, Jenny rolled over on her tummy, crying. Maybe she’d never stop crying. Maybe she’d just flood her bedroom with her tears and drown. Then HE’D be sorry. He was disappointed in HER.

I hate him, she thought fiercely, I hate him. I’m glad I didn’t finish that stupid essay now. Nobody as mean as him should be Father of the Year anyway. I wish I had a different Father than HIM.

Chapter 12

Jarrod didn’t get much sleep that night either. Twice he woke up in a cold sweat, heart pounding in fear from a nightmare. He dreamed each time that he saw Jenny-trapped by flames-reaching out to him. To reassure himself that she was safely in bed, he got up after the second dream to check on her. Relieved to find her, tears stains on her cheeks, whimpering in her sleep but still in bed. Dare he hope she’d stay there?

When he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep again, he got up, dressed and went downstairs to make some coffee. Might as well start the day. He had to spend most of it riding out to the Anderson ranch taking some depositions in a water rights case he’d been working on for weeks.
If all went well, he’d make it back home in time to dance at Audra’s party. Not that he was looking forward to it. Not with Jenny alone in her room crying because she wasn’t allowed downstairs.

“Mother?” He said, walking into the brightly lit kitchen to see Victoria already up, hard at work mixing up bread dough. “Why are you up so early?”

“I wanted to make certain I got this bread dough rising early enough. It seems like Silas and I have been baking for days but I like to make sure we have plenty for our guests.” Cheeks flushed from kneading the dough, her pink dress covered with a white apron, she reminded Jarrod of long ago Saturdays when he and Nick would head off fishing fortified with freshly baked bread. He went to kiss her Good morning, careful not to brush up too closely to the flour dusting the bread board.

He made his way thankfully to the coffee pot already brewing on the wood stove. Glad he didn’t have to make it himself in his present state of mind. With his thoughts all jumbled over Jenny’s recent spree of mishaps, making coffee seemed beyond his capabilities. Putting one foot in front of another seemed beyond his capabilities.

“Did you have a good time last night?”

“Well,” Jarrod sat down at the table, rubbed a hand over him forehead and eyes trying to ease the beginning of another headache caused by his daughter’s recent behavior, “it was a good evening until I got home.”

Victoria, brushed flour from her hands, reaching for a towel, “What happened then?” She set the bowl of dough carefully on the back of the stove, covering it with a clean cloth. Interest lighting her face as she waited for an answer.

Jarrod took a sip of fortifying coffee and recited the nights events. When he came to the fire, Victoria gasped, put a hand over her mouth in horror as she sat down across from him. “She wasn’t hurt was she?”

“No, Mother, not in the fire. After I got through with her, one part of her anatomy hurt a little more than she might have liked, but thank God she wasn’t burnt.”

“What would have possessed her to do such a thing?”

Jarrod shook his head, feeling as bewildered this morning as he had last night. “I don’t know. I think she went outside to read that dime novel where no one would catch her. Yet, she denied it. She admitted lighting the lamp, starting the fire–accidentally, of course. Knowing my daughter I’d say that’s probably how it happened. What she was doing out there if she wasn’t reading forbidden literature, I won’t even hazard to guess.”

“What did she say? Did she give you a reason?”

“No,” Jarrod answered a little shortly, not too pleased with how he had handled last night. Jenny had tried to offer an explanation but he’d been too angry to hear. Would it have made a difference if he had listened to her?

“Perhaps she was angry about having to miss the party and stay in her room over the weekend. It might have been her way to rebel.” Victoria suggested, having heard about this injustice from Jenny’s viewpoint the night before. An especially irate Jenny at having to peel potatoes for a party she wouldn’t be attending.

Jarrod took another sip of coffee. “I don’t know. I find all of her recent behavior confusing. I’ve lain awake half the night trying to understand. It all seems to go back to those dime novels she kept getting into trouble over. I just can’t understand it Mother. Especially after the way Louisa and Nicky were killed. Why would she want to read something that glorifies so much violence? She was too terrified to speak for over a year and a half. Why would she want to read books that would bring it all back?”

“Have you ever asked her?” Victoria spoke quietly. Having had similar thoughts herself after reading one of the dime novels Jenny had hidden in her room.

Jarrod shook his head. “Would she tell me? Jenny seems to have her own discreet little life that none of us knows about. I believe she’s already gotten into more scrapes than Nick did at her age.”

“I wouldn’t agree with that,” Victoria laughed, reaching across the table to pat his hand, “your brother couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble at that age. Jenny does give us some breathing space every once in awhile. Most of the time she’s a very obedient child.”

“Most of the time?” Jarrod questioned, raising an eyebrow, “Then surely you have forgotten Heath and Nick’s nighttime adventures? Or Audra’s dress? The ink...?”

“Of course, I haven’t forgotten,” Victoria’s blue eyes sparkled with laughter, “Jenny is a very imaginative little girl who does seem to go from one crisis to another. Still, you have to admit, she keeps us on our toes.”

Jarrod harrumphed at that. He’d had no trouble staying on his toes, thank you very much, when Jenny stayed OUT of trouble. As Victoria stood up and began to clean off the counter, dropping dirty dishes in a pan full of dishwater, Jarrod tried again to think of one good reason Jenny would be so concerned with ink. “What do you think she planned to do with the ink, Mother? She said she wanted to write something. “

Before Victoria could come up with an answer a thought jumped into Jarrod’s mind. A frightening thought. No...not Jenny...

“Forgery! You don’t think she’s developed an interest in forgery do you? I had a case not long ago and she was very interested, kept asking questions.”

“Jarrod, she’s only nine,” Victoria had to laugh at Jarrod’s fears.

“You’re right. She’s too young, isn’t she?”

Victoria laughed again. “Jarrod, I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation...to Jenny’s mind anyway. She’s just gotten into a little trouble lately. You’ve punished her. If there’s one thing I’ve found out about my granddaughter it’s that she seldom does the same wrong thing twice.”

Jarrod spoke up wryly, “That’s because she’s so clever at thinking up new ways to get into trouble.”

He sighed, voicing his fears, “I’m just beginning to wonder if I’m doing even an adequate job of raising her properly. After last night I’m starting to wonder if I’m strict enough. If I had spanked her when she set my office curtains on fire would she have tried again to light a lamp.”

“Oh, now, Jarrod, I remember that incident very well.” Victoria went to pour herself some coffee, “You and Louisa both felt that because you had never told Jenny NOT to light a lamp you couldn’t punish her. I think it frightened her so much that was punishment enough. It’s been three years and she hasn’t tried to light a lamp since. And most of the time she minds you very well.”

“Maybe you’re right, lovely lady.” Jarrod sighed, flexing his arms out to relieve some of the tension in his shoulders.” She’s in her room where she can’t get into any more trouble today. I hope. If I get home in time tonight I might try to talk to her again. I’ve got to be gone all day riding out to Anderson’s. “

“Then let me fix you some breakfast,” Victoria leaned down to give her firstborn a hug from behind, “I’ll talk to Jenny later.”

Jenny lay on her stomach, hanging off her bed with her feet up in the air. Victoria walked in, stepping carefully over the dolls Jenny had thrown on the floor and was now trying to lasso with a piece of string. Noticing Jenny’s sullen expression as she set the tray down on Jenny’s desk.

“I’ve brought you some breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry,” Jenny answered in a pouty voice, her rumbling stomach betraying her as it smelled the pancakes and maple syrup. With little sausages too. And she hadn’t had any supper last night either.

Victoria sat down beside Jenny on the bed.. “I know you must be hungry, Jenny. I’ll leave it so you can eat.”

Stubbornly, Jenny didn’t answer. Tossing out her string, she concentrated intently on trying to lasso another doll’s leg. Victoria waited, biding her time. Shortly after Jarrod had ridden off, she’d had an early morning visit from Ciego. After apologizing because he’d just stepped into his room to change his clothes and missed Jarrod. He’d handed Victoria the burnt pieces of paper he’d raked up as he finished the job Jarrod had started in the straw. “I think these might be important, so you give please to Mr. Jarrod.” Victoria assured him she would. After she read them, she’d wondered if she were the one who should give them to Jarrod.

“Is HE still here?” Jenny asked when she couldn’t stand her grandmother’s silence any longer.

“If you mean your father, no, he’s gone for the day. He had to ride out to Anderson’s ranch to take some depositions. “ Victoria pretended interest in Jenny’s doll lassoing. “He said he hoped to be home in time for Audra’s party.”

“Oh.”

“Jenny, you shouldn’t be angry at your Father for spanking you. You were a very naughty little girl. You could have been badly hurt in that fire, you know.”

Jenny pressed her lips together tight. Yeah, yeah, I heard that from HIM last night. Bout how I might’ve been killed and all the horses burnt up and the barn and maybe even the house. Like Uncle Nick wouldn’t have woken up if he smelled THAT much smoke. Like she was so dumb she wouldn’t have rung the fire bell before it got to the horses.

“I ain’t angry because he spanked me..” Jenny paused, still feeling a little uncomfortable when she tried to sit down, “...much.” It wasn’t the spanking she minded so much. It hurt, it always hurt, but he hardly ever spanked her. What hurt more was that he didn’t even try to listen to what she tried so hard to tell him. Jenny hadn’t quite decided if she would have told him about the essay. As mad as he was last night, he might’ve just thought she was trying to get out of a spanking. But usually, even if he did punish her someway, he let her have her say. Jenny knew not many other Fathers did that.

“Then why are you angry?”

“He wouldn’t listen!. He wouldn’t listen!”. Jenny laid her face down crying like her heart might break.

“Come, Jenny, tell Grammie what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Jenny wouldn’t lift her face. Why wouldn’t they all just leave her alone?

“Oh, I think it is something, “ Victoria pulled the piece of essay from the pocket of her apron, “does it have anything to do with this?”

Jenny looked at the burnt essay, the cause of so much trouble and worry and even a spanking. I don’t never want to see that again, Jenny thought, never, ever, ever. It was a stupid essay! Stupid!

Victoria waited for Jenny to answer but after one quick, anguished glance at the essay, Jenny pressed her face down into the bed. Crying harder while sobs shook her little body. Patting her back, Victoria tried to comfort her with soothing words. Letting Jenny cry until she seemed ready to listen again.

“It’s very beautiful, Jenny. I think Jarrod would be so pleased to see it and know you love him so...”

“I don’t love him anymore, I don’t. I hate him!” Jenny said spitefully, wiping her eyes and nose on the bedspread.

“Do you?” Grandma asked quietly.

Jenny’s heart ached. She began to cry again, “No.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?”

Lifting her tear stained face, Jenny looked at the concern in her Grandma’s blue eyes, the love on her face. Sitting up, she wrapped her arms around Grandma’s waist, burying her face against her white apron and through tears poured out the whole story of the Father of the Year essay contest.

“Darling, why didn’t you come to one of us and tell us?” Hearing the anguished story, Victoria’s own heart ached along with Jenny’s. So little to try to accomplish such a big task. Just to show Jarrod how much she loved him. Quick tears watered her eyes as she thought of telling Jarrod he had nothing to worry about when it came to how well he had raised this little girl.`.

“Because I wanted to do it myself.”

“You could have still...”

“No...No because someone always wants to help, Grandma,” Jenny protested, raising her head to look into Victoria’s eyes. Determined to explain enough to be understood.” Like the time I wanted to make Daddy a tie all on my own but Aunt Audra saw it and said I was sewing it all wrong. She started helping and she did the work. Not me. And even when I tried to make a picnic. Mr. Silas wouldn’t let me just put in what I wanted to take Daddy. He said he’d put in some food he knew Daddy especially . Then he kept taking things out of the basket that I put in and it wasn’t my picnic. If I told somebody about the essay, even Sister Patience, she’d make me use good grammar or tell me I spelled words wrong and then it wouldn’t be words from my heart.”

Victoria’s heart went out to Jenny. How often, she’d thought when dealing with her own children, that if children are just allowed to explain so much confusion could be avoided. “Jenny, that’s very commendable and I understand why you’d want to keep it a secret. But, if you had just told someone...me or Audra..you might not have gotten into so much trouble.”

“It’s like Daddy always says,” Tears dripped anew from Jenny’s eyes, “I don’t think before I do something. If I did, I wouldn’t have to stay in my room and miss the party. I wouldn’t have started a fire in the barn or got spanked or have Daddy mad at me and maybe Daddy would have won the Father of the Year essay and taken me to San Francisco with him. Now it’s too late.”

“Jennifer Victoria, it’s never too late to tell someone you love them.” Grandma admonished sternly. “I want you to eat your breakfast and then you are going to finish that essay.”

“It’s too late,” Jenny started to protest but got no farther. Grandma overrode her objections.

“Nonsense! I’m going to get you some paper and ink. You have to stay in your room anyway
so you might as well keep busy.”

“I don’t want to,” Jenny pouted, not sure if she wanted to have anything more to do with that essay. That cursed essay. It had already gotten her into so much trouble. “I can’t mail it anyway. I can’t leave my room.”

Victoria got up, pulling Jenny along with her and standing her firmly on her feet. “I don’t care if you can mail it or not. You’re going to write that essay and Jarrod is going to read it.” Victoria
tried to quiet the qualms she felt in giving Jenny more ink...remembering the disaster in Audra’s room. Still...what was a little spilled ink if she could help Jarrod and Jenny? With every other disaster she’d faced in her life, surely she, Victoria Barkley could survive the childhood of her first granddaughter. And surely, she eased her conscience with the comforting thought, what possible trouble could Jenny get into in her own bedroom?

Finally! Jenny could hardly believe it was finally written....all written...all 500 words. Even more surprising, once she could take her time and not worry about getting it just right, she hadn’t spilled any ink or even dropped a blot on the paper. While her writing would never match the perfection of Sister Patience’s script, it looked fine to her.

Jenny made certain she corked the ink and took it way far from the essay just to be safe. Too bad she couldn’t take it downstairs to show Grandma just how perfect it was. Too bad now that it was done she couldn’t get it into Stockton in time to catch that mail train. The dratted essay! All this time she’d had only one idea in mind, to mail it to the Examiner. Now that it was finished she couldn’t even leave her room to mail it.

Pacing her room, tripping over her dolls still lying on the floor, Jenny bit her bottom lip trying to come up with a plan to get the essay mailed. She knew that most of the men were gone off...although she wasn’t certain just what work they were doing that day. Silas, Grandma, Aunt Audra and her friend, Martha were busy with the party preparations. When she opened her bedroom door, Jenny heard lots of scurrying and activity going on downstairs. What were her chances of getting someone to ride into Stockton to mail a letter? None, Jenny thought glumly, sitting down on the edge of her bed on her hands so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch the perfectly written essay lying on her desk.

“Maybe something will turn up,” Jenny told the dolls. Deciding to make up an envelope just in case. Taking a sheet of paper, she quickly folded it into an envelope, addressed it to the Examiner and slipped the essay inside. Someone would have to seal it for her but that was easily solved if she found someone to mail it. She hoped.

When Silas came up to bring her some lunch, Jenny pounced.

“Please, Mr. Silas, is there anyone who could take a letter to Stockton to mail?”

“Oh, no, Miss Jenny, everyone’s busy getting ready for Miss Audra’s party tonight. We’re up to our ears in last minute chores.”

Even though Jenny begged and pleaded, he said he couldn’t think of anyone, nor could he leave. He offered to tell Grandma to see if she had a suggestion. Jenny quickly stopped that idea. Grandma had told her to write it, not send it. Somehow, Jenny wasn’t sure she’d approve of mailing the essay.

Too tense to eat, Jenny tried to think of what to do next. If she wanted to enter the Father of the Year contest....and wasn’t that what she’d been trying to do ever since she saw the advertisement...she needed to mail it today.

Later, she couldn’t remember exactly when the thought entered her mind that SHE could mail the letter herself without anyone finding out. Jenny tried, she really did, to think like Daddy always told her to before she jumped into trouble. But the more she thought, the more it seemed like a perfect plan. Grandma, Silas, Aunt Audra were all occupied with the party. She’d been given her lunch. Wasn’t much chance anyone would come up just to keep her company or talk! Not to the naughtiest person in the house. Daddy would be gone all day. Most of the men were out on the range somewhere. If she could get out of the house unseen, she could ride into Stockton and be home before anyone noticed.

Getting out of the house was the problem. Jenny first thought of the trellis. Of course, she had promised Daddy she would never climb up the trellis again. He wouldn’t like it if she used it after he’d told her not to...oh, no he would not like it at all! If she climbed up....Jenny’s eyes lit up in excitement. Up! She wouldn’t be climbing UP...she’d be climbing DOWN.

Once she’d gotten the idea, Jenny knew there was no turning back. She grabbed up her saddle bags, loading in the letter and some coins. Just in case anyone should come up, she stuffed pillows under her blankets to look like she might be taking a nap. As an extra touch, she put two of her dark haired dolls together so their hair flowed out from under the covers. From the doorway it almost looked like Jenny in bed. Maybe.

There was no danger of being caught in the upper hallway. Jenny could hear sounds from downstairs, furniture being moved around, laughter. Hurrying, Jenny got inside Uncle Eugene’s room without being seen. She opened the window, brushing away the thought that she’d have to get back INTO the house sooner or later. And that meant a forbidden climbing UP the trellis...

I won’t think about that now, Jenny closed her mind to the worry. I’ll think about it later.

Making sure no one was in sight, she climbed down the trellis carefully. With her heart pounding in her ears, her breath coming in short gasps, Jenny made it to the barn hiding, stopping and peeking around whatever hiding place she could find. Working as quickly as she ever had, she saddled Fancy, mounted and rode out of the barn. The greatest danger of being caught would lie in riding down the well worn rode to Stockton from the ranch. Jenny rode instead through the meadow, around the swimming hole and down through the foothills. It was longer but she’d have less chance of being seen.

It turned out to be surprisingly easy to ride to Stockton, post the letter and see it put into the mail bag bound for San Francisco. Mr. Cleary, the postmaster, even sealed the letter for her, remarking that she sure did write a “fine hand.” All in all, Jenny felt tremendous pleasure in handing that essay into Mr. Cleary’s capable hands. As she rode out of Stockton, she forgot her earlier caution and rode along, by force of habit, the familiar road to the ranch.

Happily for Jarrod that morning, he’d ridden into town and seen Mr. Anderson and his two sons waiting outside his office.

“We had business in town so thought we’d kill two birds with one stone and save you a long ride out to the ranch.” Mr. Anderson explained. Their business quickly dispatched, Jarrod found he had time to lock his office door, sink back in his leather chair, put his feet up on the desk, his hat over his face and give in to 40 winks. When he woke, refreshed, he stayed on to finish a little work he’d been putting off. By the time he locked the door, got Jingo from the Livery and started on the road home, he had begun to feel better about life in general, Jenny in particular. The good feeling lasted until he happened to look up and see his daughter, who was suppose to be in her room, riding along in front of him.

Smiling to herself, Jenny didn’t notice or hear another rider coming up alongside her until too late.
Oh, no, oh, no...I probably didn’t think. I know I didn’t think.

“Daddy.”

“What are you doing?”

“Going home.”
“Home from where?” He asked impatiently, annoyance washing away all good feelings he’d had earlier.

“Stockton.” Why lie? She was in BIG trouble again anyway.

Jarrod tried to think of a good reason Jenny might have been in Stockton instead of her room. “Were you sent on an errand?”

“No, sir.”

“Then what were you doing? Didn’t I tell you that you had to spend the weekend in your room?”

“Yes, sir,” Jenny volunteered that much. Not relishing the idea of telling him where she’d been. She thought sadly, mailing that essay had seemed like such a good idea at home. Sure didn’t now.

“Then why aren’t you there?” He asked getting angrier. What did it take to get through this child’s hard head? Why was she so stubbornly disobedient? “I’m waiting, Jennifer!”

There went her big name again. Yes, Jenny Barkley, you are in BIG trouble again. Why didn’t I think? Why didn’t I just stay home?

“I went to mail a letter.”

“A letter? What kind of letter?”

Jenny knew she’d stir up his wrath by the answer. Knew and couldn’t answer any other way. “I can’t tell you.”

“You can’t...!” Jenny thought his face turned ten shades of red, he got so angry. Too angry even to scold or yell. In a tight, barely controlled voice, he said, “Give me your reins.”

Jenny handed them over. So, he didn’t even trust her to ride alongside him on her own. He was going to hold tight to her pony all the way. Stomach tight with fear, Jenny dreaded finding out what would happen when he got her home. Maybe mailing that letter hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

Dirty darn. She’d been worried before she left about how she’d get back in the house. I sure never worried about this happening. Jenny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. Dirty darn. I sure won’t have any trouble getting back into the house now. No, all the trouble’s gonna start once I get inside. Dirty, dirty darn.

Chapter 13

“Daddy, I know you are very angry at me...” Jenny spoke softly, trying not to irritate him more than necessary, “but I ....”

“Jennifer, angry does not begin to describe the state of my temper right now. Enraged would be more apt. Did you or did you not understand what I told you to do today? Did I not tell you to stay in your room?”

“Yes, Daddy, you did,” Jenny agreed quickly, struggling to get the words out, “and I’m sorry I didn’t stay. Truly I am.”

Jarrod gripped the reins of Jingo and Fancy tighter, fighting to control his rising temper. He clenched his teeth until his jaw hurt. What did it take to get through to this child? Why must she be so obstinate? So stubborn? He thought briefly his worst nightmare had come true. He was raising a miniature Nick. Well, he just would NOT have it.

“Jenny, there is no excuse for your behavior. None. And I won’t tolerate this constant disobedience. You will learn to mind me. Do you understand me?”

Jenny ducked her head so he wouldn’t see the tears that stung her blue eyes. “Yes, Daddy.”

“You won’t be going to San Francisco with me. Not after this. “

“Yes, sir,” Jenny whispered too choked with unshed tears to say much else. The rest of the ride they made in silence. Terrible, dreadful silence. Through her tear filled eyes, Jenny stole glances at Daddy. Wanting so much to ask him if he still loved her. If he just wouldn’t be so awful mad at her. She wanted to weep over losing that trip to San Francisco. It was bad enough she’d gotten spanked and told she couldn’t go to Aunt Audra’s party and even sent to her room for the whole weekend. But the worst of all was not being able to go with Daddy. Although even Jenny was smart enough to know she’d rather not go with him in his present mood.

He hadn’t simmered down any by the time they reached the barn. Jerking her off Fancy he’d said in a rough voice, “Go to your room.” Wasn’t much else Jenny could do but go.

Sure hadn’t been worth the time worrying about getting back into the house. Not when she just walked right on in the front door. Thankfully, no one saw her come in although Jenny heard Grandma and Aunt Audra talking in the kitchen. Just as well she didn’t have to explain the tears on her face or where she’d been.

Once back in her room, Jenny sat down on the bed. As she’d run up the stairs all she’d wanted to do was fling herself down and cry a whole river. By the time she sat down, Jenny felt too miserable to cry. Her heart felt like someone had squeezed it tight it hurt so much. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t she just do something nice for Daddy without getting into so much trouble?

Jenny waited. Waited and waited and waited. Then decided Daddy had said all he planned to say to her for going into Stockton. Probably he thought it punishment enough to make her stay home instead of going on the promised trip to San Francisco.

After awhile, Jenny began to hear sounds outside in the hall. Happy, party scurrying as Aunt Audra and Martha got dressed. Hurrying from Aunt Audra’s room to the bathroom and back.
Jenny could even sniff the scent of Aunt Audra’s lily of the valley cologne coming from under her door. Uncle Nick, pacing down the hallway grumbled, “smells like a funeral in here.”

Jenny heard Daddy, joking with Uncle Heath. His footsteps, she knew the sound of his footsteps well, came closer to her door. Her stomach clenched in dread. What would he say? Was he still angry? The footsteps stopped briefly then moved on down the hall. Jenny didn’t dare open the door although she ached for him to just come and hug her. Just so she’d know he forgave her.

Silas brought her a supper Jenny had no desire to eat. It was light enough when he came that he didn’t light the lamp. Sitting alone in her room, Jenny watched the sun fade from behind the windows as the room got darker and darker. Alone. Abandoned, Jenny finally gave into tears.
Downstairs she heard the happy party overture. Fiddles tuning up. Carriages pulling up in front of the house. Greeting voices. Laughing. Shouting and back slapping. Someone singing. As she listened, Jenny felt more and more alone.

“Mama. I want Mama.”

Jenny tried real hard most of the time not to think about Mama. It hurt so awful much. That night in her room, she ached with wanting Mama so much it brought on fresh tears. If Mama could just be there to hold her, comfort her, kiss all the bad feelings away. When Jenny couldn’t stand the wanting any longer, she got off the bed and went to drag Mama’s silk shawl out of the bottom drawer of her dresser.

Daddy’d bought Mama the shawl when they went to Italy on their honeymoon. Mama always said it was her very favorite treasure. Jenny remembered how sometimes, when Daddy had to be gone to Stockton or San Francisco, she and Mama would lie outside, looking up at the stars both wrapped up in the shawl. Wrapping herself in it, Jenny got back in bed weeping. Lying on her bed, she heard the start of the Virginia Reel. My favorite dance.

“Jarrod,” Audra waltzed over to stand beside him, blue eyes lit up with a party glow. Twisting her arm though his, she pleaded, “Please say you’ll let Jenny come downstairs for a little while. She was so looking forward to this party.”

Jarrod took a quick puff of his cigar. “Now, Audra, I can’t do that. I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve said the last three times you asked, No. If I give in to her whims every time she’s being punished, she’s going to think she can get away with anything.”

“But, Jarrod,” Audra wheedled, “isn’t she being punished for ruining my dress? It was my dress and I don’t really care anymore. I don’t see why she should have to miss the party when she didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”

“She never means to do anything wrong,” Jarrod said wryly, “But the answer is still No.”

When Audra opened her mouth to protest, Jarrod held up a hand that signaled the end of the discussion. “I think you’re awful.” Audra pronounced before turning to smile widely at a young cowboy who’d come to tap her shoulder for a dance. She waltzed away.

As she did, Jarrod turned to see his Mother standing close enough to have heard the conversation. He could read the expression on her face. “You think I should let her come down too, don’t you, Mother? I see it in your eyes.”

Victoria smiled, coming closer to thread her own arm through Jarrod’s as Audra had. With her shining white hair and blue brocade dress, Jarrod thought her one of the prettiest women among the crowd twirling and whirling before them. “I was just thinking, hasn’t she been punished enough? Last night and now having to stay in her room all day...”

“She didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Victoria’s blue eyes wore a puzzled look.

“Stay in her room all day.”

“Of course, she did!” Victoria protested. “I checked on her myself several times.”

Jarrod took another calming draw on the cigar before answering with a slight smile, “Mother, you make an excellent Mother and Grandmother, but I fear your vocation as a prison guard is questionable. Your prisoner did indeed escape.”

Victoria continued to look baffled.

“I was on my way home this afternoon when I came upon my daughter, trotting merrily home from Stockton.”

“What in the world could she have been doing in Stockton?” Jarrod watched as her eyes went from trying to figure it out to knowing. He saw the light of understanding dawn, “oh, no, she didn’t. She wouldn’t have tried to mail it! Tell me she didn’t!”

Now it was Jarrod’s turn to look puzzled. “Mother? You’ve lost me completely.”

Victoria squeezed his arm, “Jarrod, were you angry with her? Did you scold her?”

“Of course. I was livid. I’d told her to stay in her room.”

Throwing up her hands, Victoria sighed, “You’ve probably broken her heart.”

“I’ve broken her heart!” Jarrod shook his head. Was he awake? “What the devil are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your daughter. It’s hard for me to decide who is more stubborn..you or Jenny. No..I take it back. You are both evenly matched. You’re both as stubborn as mules.”

“Mother! I don’t understand any of this.”

Victoria grabbed his arm again, leading him away from the party into the relative quiet of the study. “You will. Just as soon as I tell you what your stubborn, determined little girl has been doing.”

After she’d told him, Jarrod could not believe the depths of his child’s love. Could not believe how wrong he’d been about all her mischief. “I’ve been so wrong about her. Why would she keep this a secret? Why didn’t she just tell me the first time she got in trouble?”

“She’s very stubborn.”

Jarrod lifted an eyebrow, grinning in spite of his deep feeling of shame. How could he have not trusted Jenny? “And where did she get that from?”

“You might look at her Father,” Victoria smiled, coming up to hug Jarrod around the waist, “who is also very stubborn.”

“What am I suppose to say to her, Mother?” He looked down at the pieces of essay scraps she’d handed him. One paragraph tore his heart each time he re-read it. One sentence stabbed his heart with pain each time he looked at it. “I love my Daddy best because he always listens to what I have to say.” How often in the past few weeks had this been true? Not often enough. Not often enough.



Sleepily, Jenny heard the bedroom door open. Someone walking toward her bed, gentle hands beginning to pull off her shoes.

“Daddy?”

“No,” Grandma whispered, helping Jenny sit up so she could unbutton her dress. “Let’s get your nightie on. You’ll be more comfortable.”

Half asleep, Jenny let the dress be pulled over her head, the nightgown slipped on. Grandma started to pull Mama’s shawl away but Jenny woke up enough to grab it tight, whimpering a protest. Grandma let her keep it, pulling back the covers she slid Jenny’s legs under covering her up to her chin. Tucking her snugly in while Jenny woke up enough to remember what she’d been crying about when she fell asleep.

“Daddy doesn’t love me anymore.”

“Oh, Jenny,” Victoria’s sat on the edge of the bed, her voice full of sympathy. She’d just come from telling Jarrod about the Father of the Year essay contest. Had just left him sitting alone in the study, his head bowed in his hands. If Jenny could see her Father at that second, grieving over the past few days when he’d misunderstood, she wouldn’t have doubted his love. “He loves you very, very much.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Jenny cried, crying so hard her words became quickly incoherent. “I want Mama. I want Mama.”

Sitting beside Jenny, Victoria whispered soothing words, sang a little lullabies and waited until Jenny’s sobs became quiet little shudders and she finally fell asleep.

Much later, too drowsy to rouse herself beyond opening a sleepy eye, Jenny heard someone else come in the room. Knew, by the cigar and bay rum scent, that it was Daddy. Carefully, he pulled the blankets up, brushed the curls from her damp forehead and bent over to kiss her. Jenny struggled to wake up...to tell him...what did she want to tell him...but sleep pulled her down.

Chapter 14

After the family returned from church the morning after the party, Jenny went forlornly back to her room. Having spent many such weekends in her room over one misdeed after another, she knew what was expected of her. Later, she knew from past experiences, if Daddy felt she’d learned whatever lesson she was suppose to have learned, she might be allowed to join the family for dinner. That day, Jenny didn’t particularly care if she ever got to come downstairs again. Nobody loved her anyway.

All the way home, Jenny fought back tears and made up her mind about two things she planned to do when she got back to her room. The first was wrapping up again in Mama’s blue silk shawl which Grandma would not let her wear to church. The second...and Jenny was determined on this....she was going to start sucking her thumb. Jenny had given up that particular habit at three but she remembered what comfort she use to get from doing it. Right about then, she felt in need of whatever comfort she could find.

Daddy hadn’t spoken to her all morning. He hadn’t let her sit next to him in the surrey or at church. Jenny couldn’t remember a single Sunday she hadn’t sat next to him in church. If she started to fidget, she could always count on being handed his gold pocket watch to play with or having him hold her hands together with one of his big ones. This morning she’d had to sit between Grandma and Uncle Nick which was no picnic. Each time she got her legs swinging real good , Uncle Nick put a warning hand on her knee or shook his head at her. Pouting, Jenny tried to pop her thumb in her mouth but Grandma must have known what she planned to do. She’d taken Jenny’s hand in hers holding tight. Wasn’t any point in using the other thumb...it just didn’t taste the same.

As if sitting beside Uncle Nick wasn’t awful enough, on the way home he started in about the fire in the tack room. Jenny figured that was over and done with but not Uncle Nick. Since it was the first time he’d actually gotten to yell at her about his saddle, he did. Almost the whole way home, even though Grandma kept telling him to stop shouting, Uncle Nick went on and on and on. Daddy didn’t say a word to stop him either. Of course, Jenny figured Uncle Nick was boss of what happened in the tack room too which was probably why Daddy didn’t speak up. Still, he could’ve said something so Jenny didn’t have to endure Uncle Nick’s bad temper on top of everything else. Grandma finally got him to simmer down. Then when they pulled up in front of the house he did say gruffly, “A saddle I can replace, I can’t replace you, Jenny.” Not that it helped. Jenny ran to her room as fast as she could go after she jumped out of the surrey. Too bad his old saddle didn’t just get burned all the way up. Might serve him right.

Lying on her bed, wrapped up in the shawl, Jenny experienced a few minutes of disappointment because even her right thumb didn’t make her feel much better. There was still a lonely ache right in the middle of her stomach. Too bad she wasn’t allowed out of her room. There had to be a grownup somewhere in this house who would hug her so she wouldn’t feel so bad.

“I am very, very sad,” Jenny whispered to her dolls who could have cared less. “Daddy does not love me anymore.”



“Mother, is the basket ready?” Jarrod asked, coming into the kitchen dressed for the outdoors in brown trousers and a blue cotton shirt.

Victoria handed over the picnic basket she’d just packed. “All set...even down to Jenny’s meatloaf sandwiches.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Jarrod gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he took the basket. “Wish me well.”

“I do...have a good time.” She answered, pleased with Jarrod’s plan to spend the afternoon alone with Jenny. If her two stubborn mules could just not hurt one another further, they might be able to work things out. “Jarrod, remember that she was trying to do something special for you..even if she went about it in the wrong way.”

“Mother, I’m not about to forget that.” Jarrod said, having searched his heart for hours over what to say to his willful, disobedient daughter who’d just written the most glowing words about him he’d ever read. Finding the right balance to scold and praise her at the same time was going to require any finesse he’d learned in his years as a lawyer.

“Where do you plan to take her?”

“Lover’s Leap.”

“Jarrod!” Victoria shook her head in disbelief. Why on earth would he take her there? Jenny would want to know about the reputation of the spot. She was always full of questions. How was Jarrod going to explain? Should he?

“It’s broad daylight, Mother, no one else will be there,” He grinned, pleased with his plan and not about to be dissuaded.

Victoria threw up her hands in surrender, “That’s not quite what I meant. Isn’t Jenny curious enough about that place? Every time someone mentions it her ears perk up..How are you going to answer her questions? Especially why it was wrong for Audra and Bill to be there together?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Mother,” picking up the basket and his hat, he walked toward the kitchen door on his way to hitch up the buggy, “I’m a lawyer. I’m very practiced at side stepping tricky questions.”

“Oh, you!” Victoria picked up an apple, pretending to throw it at him. He shut the door laughing. She looked up toward the ceiling, hoping that Jenny would just cooperate today. Hating to admit it to herself, Victoria did anyway, Jenny could be obstinate. Just like her father, her uncles and every other Barkley in California.



After he’d hitched up the buggy, Jarrod went to get his daughter. Taking a deep breath, he opened her door not sure of the reception he’d receive. He knew she resented the fact that he hadn’t been able to speak to her that morning. That she was angry he’d let Nick rant and rave about the saddle she’d scorched in the tack room. Jarrod also knew he had a long afternoon ahead in trying to win himself back into Jenny’s good graces.

“Jenny?”

She was lying on her bed, wrapped up in Louisa’s shawl. Mother had told him she’d gotten it out yesterday and wouldn’t let it go. Jarrod’s heart clenched in a quick pain seeing it. Knowing how badly Jenny felt to have gotten it out of the drawer. That shawl, above anything else, caused Jenny the greatest pain and longing for her Mother. At first, they’d tried to hide it from her, to take it away and put it back in the attic where she’d found it, but Jenny refused to be parted from it. Most of the time she kept it in a drawer out of sight. She only got it out when she felt brokenhearted over something. Thankfully, Jarrod thought, it didn’t happen often.

“We’re going for a ride.”

Jenny turned to stare at him, looking none too pleased to be going anywhere with him. “Why?” she asked warily.

Pleasantly, he smiled and said, “I thought it might be nice if we spent the afternoon together.”

Jarrod could almost see her mind working as she kept staring in unbelief. Not that he could blame her. Yesterday he’d been too angry to speak to her and today he wanted her to go for a ride. He could imagine himself in the same position with his own Father and knew what he would have thought. He’s lost his mind. “I have quite a few things to say to you.”

Jenny’s lips twisted. That she understood. He planned to take her off somewhere so he could scold her without disturbing the Sunday quiet of the house, the only day Uncle Heath and Uncle Nick actually got to sit around and do nothing.

Reluctantly, Jenny got out of the bed dragging the shawl with her. Jarrod watched but didn’t tell her to put it away. Wrapping it tightly around herself, Jenny followed him out of the room and down the stairs, dragging her steps. Just to make it understood, without deliberate disobedience Jarrod thought, that he understood she was only going under protest. And expected nothing good to come of this ride.

Jarrod helped her into the buggy. Making her unwillingness plain, Jenny scooted as far away from his as possible. It wasn’t easy in a two seater, but Jenny managed to put quite a distance between them. Once Jarrod shook the reins, set the horse walking out the gate, he stole a quick glance at his daughter...pulling Louisa’s shawl tighter, thumb in her mouth.

“Why did you start that again?”

“I feel very sad today,” Jenny answered, taking her thumb out of her mouth. Then, just to be sure he knew the depths of her misery, she added, “I want Mama.”

“So do I,” Jarrod spoke fervently, wishing it could be so.

The idea seemed to surprise Jenny. She stared at him not quite knowing what to think. He wanted Mama too? They rode along for awhile, Jarrod wisely not saying anything. Waiting as Jenny’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Where are we going?”

“Lover’s Leap.”

Jarrod watched her eyes as he answered. They lit up with excitement. “Really?’ Jenny asked, dropping the shawl and edging just a little closer. Not quite ready to forgive him completely but willing to consider it. “Will there be lots of people there? Uncle Nick says once he went and it was wall to wall buggy’s.”

“Now why would Nick tell you such a thing?” He’d have to talk to Nick about watching his language in front of his niece. She was entirely too precocious as it was.

Jenny ducked her head a little, “He didn’t exactly tell me. I heard him tell someone else.”

“Hm,” Jarrod gave her a look just to let her know what he thought about eavesdropping and little girls who did it, “To answer your question, no. There will not be anyone there. Not in daylight.”

Too late, Jarrod realized his mistake. Jenny crinkled her nose and puzzled that a minute before she asked, “How come? You can’t see nothing in the dark.”

“That’s the whole idea.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll explain when you’re twenty-one.” Jarrod thought he’d best get away from that topic quickly. “And that’s all I’m going to say about it now.”

Thankfully, Jenny seemed to puzzle over the odd ways of grownups for a few minutes. Sure seemed like a dumb idea to her, going somewhere in the dark where you couldn’t even look around and see anything. Remembering something else she’d overheard Uncle Nick say, she wondered about it as they rode a few yards down the road. Finally, working up enough nerve, she asked. “How come you’re taking me to Lover’s Leap? Uncle Nick said you’re only ‘spose to go with the person you love most in all the world.”

“I am.”

“Me?” Jenny couldn’t keep the gladness out of her voice. She edged closer, near enough to touch his arm. Jarrod felt quite pleased with himself, congratulating himself on his ability to still woo a woman, even a small one. It took Jenny about two seconds to wipe the smug smile off his face. “You don’t love me.”
“Whoa!” Jarrod pulled hard on the reins to stop the horse, pushed on the brake and turned to face his thumb sucking daughter. “Jennifer! Get that thumb out of your mouth before I start painting it with quinine like your Mother use to do!”

Jenny obeyed instantly. Remembering suddenly the reason she’d stopped using her thumb for comfort in the first place. Maybe that’s why it didn’t taste the same as she remembered. Mama had ruined the taste for good.

“In the first place, little lady, I know whom I love. How could you even think that I don’t love you?”

“You were angry with me yesterday.” Jenny looked as sullen and pouty as she felt.

Jarrod forgot his admonition to himself to stay calm with this child. “Yesterday you were a very naughty little girl, Jennifer!” Very irritated, he couldn’t keep the scolding tone out of his voice, “I told you to stay IN your room. So where do I find you? Riding home from Stockton!”

Tears pricked Jenny’s eyes. Scooting back away from him, she jerked her Mother’s shawl up around her shoulders, sniffing back tears. Realizing quickly that he’d reverted back to the angry Father he’d been yesterday, Jarrod took time to steady his voice, to stir up a little compassion for Jenny.

“Honey, I know why you went to Stockton yesterday.”

Now why, Jenny thought trying hard not to cry, does that not surprise me. He always knows everything.

“Grandma told me about the essay contest.” He waited but Jenny refused to look at him, staring instead at the road in front of them. “I’ve very honored that you would write about me, honey,” Jarrod braced himself for the delicate balancing of being pleased about the essay while at the same time expressing his displeasure about Jenny’s willingness to disobey him at the slightest provocation. “But, you know, we need to talk about some of the things you did to accomplish what you set out to do. You broke quite a few rules.”

Jenny finally turned to look at him, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to break any rules, it just happened.”

“Did it, Jenny?” He asked her quietly. Waiting until Jenny shook her head sadly, no. “Jenny, why do you think I make rules for you?”

“Cause you’re a grownup and you can.”

Jarrod ground his teeth together to keep from screaming at her hard headed circling of his words. She had the Barkley stubbornness alright. If she ever did decide to become a lawyer, she’d be a worthy opponent. “Jennifer, “ he warned, “you know that’s not why.”

“To keep me safe, out of trouble and teach me how to behave like a proper young lady,” Jenny admitted although it clearly agonized her to do so.

“One other reason,” Jarrod told her gently, “it’s because I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt or in trouble you can’t get out of. When you break my rules, like lighting that lamp, you put yourself in danger. I don’t want to lose you too, Jenny. When I have to punish you, it’s to remind you that I need you to follow the rules I made to keep you safe. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Jarrod released the brakes, urged the horse to begin walking again before he looked over at Jenny still huddled in a miserable little lump in her corner of the buggy. Waiting, he knew, for him to scold her more. “As long as you understand, Jenny, we won’t talk about what happened the past few days anymore. I can’t say I approve of your methods but I do understand. I think you know what I’ve always told you...the ends don’t justify the means.”

Hiding her face in the shawl, Jenny cried a few minutes. Jarrod didn’t know if her tears were from remorse or relief that he hadn’t said more. Whatever the reason, she sat up finally, wiped her eyes and scooted over until she could lean right up against him. “Are you glad I wrote about you, Daddy?”

“Very glad. When are you going to let me read the whole essay?”

Jenny giggled, teased, “You just have to wait till it gets printed in the paper, Daddy.”

Jarrod foresaw a prick of trouble. While he didn’t doubt Jenny’s love or her sincerity, he could see there might be a problem when her essay came up against adults who had more of a gift for writing. She seemed so certain she’d win. Jarrod didn’t know quite how to prepare her for the real possibility that she would lose instead. “You know, honey,” he put an arm around her, squeezing her tight against him, “a lot of people probably wrote essays. You won’t be too disappointed if you don’t win, will you? I’d be just as happy to read your essay...”

“Don’t say that, Daddy! You will win! You are the best Daddy in the whole world.”

Afraid of losing the happy ground he’d just gained, Jarrod took the easy, coward’s way out, “Now, I just bet you will at that.” Jenny seemed pleased with that. Which was a good thing because when Jarrod stopped the buggy at Lover’s Leap she was vastly disappointed.

“It sure don’t look like much, Daddy.”

Jarrod helped her out of the buggy, reached for the picnic basket and quilt to spread on the ground. “This is it.”

He should have expected the next question but he hadn’t anticipated it at all. “Daddy, what did you and Mama do when you came here?”

Daddy sure didn’t like that question, Jenny thought, not the way his face turned all red and he started coughing like he didn’t plan to answer at all. Jenny handed him the canteen so he could take a swig of water but he choked on that too. She waited until he seemed to get his breath back before she asked again. “Huh, Daddy?”

“I kissed her,” Daddy’s face wasn’t quite as red but Jenny figured he wasn’t telling her the whole, entire truth, “and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.”

“Yuck!” Sounded boring. “How come you didn’t climb those rocks over there? They look like nice rocks to climb.”

“Go climb the rocks, Jenny,” Jarrod shooed her off, tired of fending off impossible questions. I never should have brought her here. This was a mistake. Later, of course, he changed his opinion. Jenny climbed the rocks. She explored, ate meatloaf sandwiches, talked his ear off about a thousand and one things other than Lover’s Leap and generally enjoyed the place more than most of the people who parked there in buggies Leaning back against a rock, hands clasped over his stomach, Jarrod just enjoyed watching his daughter play and laugh and talk. Maybe now that the essay was mailed all Jenny’s mischievousness was over. Now that it was safely on a train bound for San Francisco, what else could go wrong?

It was only as they were on their way back home, Jenny by now sitting as close as she could get that Jarrod had a horrible thought. He had only read parts of the essay Ciego had found in the barn. Even Mother had admitted that she had never seen the whole essay. What was in that essay? That essay that just might win and be printed on the front page of the San Francisco Examiner?

“Jenny?” Jarrod roused Jenny who’d been laying sleepily against his side, “When you wrote that essay....you didn’t tell about winning Daddy’s horse did you?”

Chapter 15

“Good afternoon, lovely lady.”

“Jarrod,” Victoria stopped, hands full of fresh flowers for the parlor as Jarrod came through the front door. “You’re home early today.”

“I am indeed, Mother,” he answered taking off his hat and gun belt, hanging them on the hat rack. “The Judge postponed the case I’m working on. I thought I’d ride on home and relax for a change.”

Lying the flowers on a parlor table, Victoria began arranging the red poppies and white carnations while Jarrod poured himself a drink. Sitting down, he put his feet up on a footstool as he loosened his tie and shirt collar. While Victoria filled the vases with flowers, they chatted about the day, Jarrod’s case, Victoria’s gardening and what Silas planned for dinner.

“Where’s Jenny?” Jarrod asked after he’d been told that pot roast headlined the menu for the evening. “Is she home from school yet?”

“Oh, yes, she’s been home awhile,” Victoria dropped the last carnation in place, set the vase on the mantle over the fireplace and came to sit down beside him. “Heath and Nick rode over to Connor’s Ridge to see if they can find those two heifers that got lose Tuesday. Audra offered to do Jenny’s chores so I told her she could ride along with them.”

“I’m sure she’s enjoying that.”

Victoria laughed. “I think if Audra hadn’t offered to do he chores I’d have had to do them myself. Jenny wanted to go so badly.”

Jarrod smiled, took a reflective sip of his drink and sighed. Neither action going unnoticed by his Mother.

“Is something wrong, Jarrod?”

“You know me too well, Mother.” He reached for her hand, “Nothing gets past you does it?”

“It’s all part of being a parent,” Victoria shrugged lightly, reaching over to pat his hand on top of hers. “And something tells me you have quite a lot on your mind.”

“No, just one thing. It’s this essay contest. I’m afraid Jenny is going to be bitterly disappointed when she doesn’t win.”

“What makes you think she won’t.”

Jarrod put his feet down on the floor, stood up and went to stand by the fireplace with his hands in the pockets of his grey trousers. “She’s only nine. We’ve both read other essays she’s written for school. You remember the one she wrote about the giant who ate Stockton...there were only seventy-five words and twenty-nine of them were misspelled.”

“Perhaps the judges won’t count misspelled words.”

Jarrod smiled briefly, “I stopped to talk to Mr. Cleary just to see how many people had entered the contest.”

“Were there many?”

Shaking his head no, Jarrod shared the heartbreaking news he’d heard. “Besides Jenny there were only four others.” Jarrod paused, reluctant to go on, “Mavis Buchanan was one of them.”

“Mavis?” Mavis was serious competition indeed. Mavis prided herself on the ability to get her essays printed in every paper from Stockton to New York City. If any civic organization needed someone to write a poem or a glowing report, they went to Mavis. Jenny didn’t stand a change against someone like Mavis. They both knew that and were saddened by it. Jenny had worked so hard. Wanted to win so badly.

“Jarrod, she’s talked of nothing else for days. All the trouble she went to so she could win!” Victoria felt heartsick over the idea of Jenny losing. “Perhaps there’s a way to convince the judges that Jenny’s essay...”

“Mother!” Jarrod tried and failed to keep the shock out of his voice. “Are you suggesting I try to bribe the judges of the contest?”

Victoria tried to look repentant but couldn’t in her heart regret the suggestion if it would help Jenny. Knowing, of course, that Jarrod would never go along with the idea even if the judges would consent to be bribed.

“Believe, me, Mother,” Jarrod admitted, “I thought of it too but decided I couldn’t besmirch my sterling career as an attorney, even for my daughter.”

They looked at one another and burst out laughing. Jarrod sobered on thinking of the depths they were willing to go to keep Jenny from disappointment. “She has to learn to take disappointment gracefully, Mother. It’s part of growing up. I often think we all try to shield her too much because of what she’s already been through. We aren’t helping her if we don’t teach her how to lose sometimes.”

Agreeing, but not liking it, Victoria went to stand beside him. Touching his arm lightly, she gave him a comforting pat, “We’re both forgetting something. The contest isn’t over yet. Jenny could win.”

Jarrod wanted to believe in the possibility. Especially since Jenny had reassured him that she had kept her promise not to tell anyone about winning his horse. Still, reality told him there wasn’t much chance that a little girl could win against Mavis. And who knew how many other Mavis’ had entered the same contest. His heart ached for Jenny but there was nothing he could do.

Several days later, Jarrod heard a buggy stop in front of the house. He went to open the front door, surprised to see Sister Patience getting out of the buggy. “What’s Jenny done now,” was his first thought,” to bring Sister here on a Saturday morning?” He braced himself for whatever calamity awaited the telling until he saw Sister’s beaming smile.

“Mr. Barkley!” As she walked toward him, Jarrod could see the newspaper in her hand. “Jenny’s won the contest! You’ve been named Father of the Year by the San Francisco Examiner.”

Handing him the paper, she waited smiling widely while Jarrod opened to the front page. Sure enough, under the heading “Prominent Stockton Attorney Named Father of the Year,” he read:

“The San Francisco Examiner is pleased to announce the winner of this year’s Father of the Year essay contest is Jarrod Thomas Barkley, Esq. Of Stockton, California. The winning essay was penned by Mr. Barkley’s nine year old daughter, Jennifer Victoria. We are pleased to print Miss Barkley’s winning essay below. Congratulations to Mr. Barkley our Father of the Year.”

Jarrod looked up at Sister Patience. “Go ahead, Mr. Barkley,” she motioned him to read it. “It’s beautiful. She loves you very much.”


WHY MY FATHER SHOULD BE FATHER OF THE YEAR
        BY JENNIFER BARKLEY

There are many reasons why I think my Daddy should be named Father of the Year. Maybe most people would say you should pick him because he is very important to a lot of other people. My Daddy is a lawyer. He helps people...all kinds of people. It doesn’t matter to him if they are rich or if they don’t even have any money at all to pay him. He helps anyone who needs help because that is the kind of person he is. He believes there should be justice for everyone. My Mama always said that was very important. That Daddy worked for people who might not get justice any other way. Maybe that is one reason you should pick my Daddy but it isn’t the most important reason to me.

When I was seven years old, some bad men came to our ranch. They killed my Mama and little brother. For a long, long time after that I was very sick. My Grandma told me that many doctors told my Daddy to give up on me. That I would never get better. They told him to put me in a hospital and forget all about me. My Daddy wouldn’t do that. Grandma said he would have gone to the ends of the earth to find help for me. He even stopped being a lawyer for awhile just to take care of me. I can’t remember a lot of the time when I was sick but I remember that my Daddy was always there. He never gave up on me. I know he never will.

I think I love my Daddy best because he always listens to what I have to say. Even if I’ve been naughty, he lets me have my say before he punishes me. Maybe it’s because he’s a lawyer. He says everybody’s innocent until proven guilty. He always gives me a chance to prove I’m innocent, even when he knows I’m guilty. Sometimes he has to punish me but I know he does it because he loves me. He wants to keep me safe so he makes lots of rules I’m suppose to listen to. Lots of times I don’t because I have a hard head like my Uncle Nick. Sometimes I am very naughty but my Daddy never stops loving me. I know he never will either.

He is good and kind and very brave. He is never too busy working to stop and talk to me or hold me if I feel sad or lonely. He always keeps his promises. He never lies to me. Once when I had to have a tooth pulled, he told me it would hurt. He didn’t lie and say it wouldn’t. But he told me he would hold my hand the whole time and if I could try to be brave he would give me a whole silver dollar to spend. I couldn’t be really brave, it hurt too much, but Daddy gave me the dollar anyway. He said I was brave enough for a little girl.

I don’t know what other people will write about their Father but I don’t like any of theirs could be as special as mine. I love my Daddy better than anybody else in the whole, entire world. If I could chose anybody else in the world to be my Father, I wouldn’t. I have the best Daddy anybody could ever have. And that is why I think you should name him Father of the Year.


Jarrod looked up, tears in his eyes, to find Sister Patience wiping her own eyes. “It’s a wonderful tribute to you, Mr. Barkley.”

“Thank you, Sister, for bringing this out.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Sister turned to go back to the buggy. Jarrod remembered his manners in time to help her up. “Let’s both just hope that Jenny doesn’t take it into her head to enter any more contests. I’m not sure we’d survive.”

Laughing, Sister slapped the reins on her horse and turned to go back toward Stockton. As she drove out the gates, she waved to Jenny. Jenny, running along, returned the wave as she ran up to where Jarrod stood on the veranda. “Hi, Daddy. What was Sister doing here?”

“Well, little lady, I have a big surprise for you. Guess who won the Father of the Year contest?”
Jarrod held the paper open so Jenny could see her essay. Her eyes lit up as she took the paper, touching the words with her fingertips while she smiled.

“I told you I’d win, didn’t I?”

“You did indeed,” Jarrod smiled down at his daughter, pleased at how well everything had turned out. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked back into the house. Jarrod went into the parlor to sit down and read through Jenny’s essay again. Thankful that whatever words she’d misspelled had been corrected by the Examiner. Doubly thankful that she hadn’t written about winning Jingo or any of a number of other embarrassing moments. The essay was one he wouldn’t mind any of his friends or enemies reading. The article also said he’d receive a gold embossed certificate for framing. Might be nice to have that framed and hanging on his office wall. He felt so proud at that moment his shirt buttons were in danger of popping off as his heart expanded with love and joy in his wonderful little girl.

“Daddy?” Jenny interrupted his pleasant thoughts. “Are you happy right now?”

He nodded, unable to speak. Too chocked up over Jenny’s tribute as he read the words again.

“Very happy?”

Jarrod found words, “Yes, Jenny, I am very happy.”

“Happier than you ever been before?”

The bemused expression slowly slid from Jarrod’s face. He felt a sudden feeling of unease at the insistence of Jenny’s questioning as she stood behind his chair, her arm draped around his neck in a hug.

“Bet nothing could make you really, really angry right now would it, Daddy?”

Jarrod sat up turning to look back at Jenny. Why did he feel suddenly that something was wrong. “What is it you’re trying not to tell me, Jenny?”

“Well,” Jenny bit her lip, shifted from boot to boot, backing away a little from arm’s reach, “I am truly, truly sorry, Daddy.”

Inwardly, Jarrod groaned. What did he not want to hear now? He had the distinct feeling that he’d be needing that Father of the Year certificate to remind him Jenny had her better moments. “Just tell me, Jennifer. Make it easy on both of us.”

Jennifer. Dirty darn. He sure wasn’t gonna like this one little bit. Not a bit... “Well, Daddy it wasn’t really my fault. It was that Billy Duncan! He dared me and I hadta! We never meant to ride through Mr. Wilkins orchard, Daddy. You know how awful mad he gets when kids take a short cut through his orchard...”

Jarrod groaned out loud. Thinking, I’m Father of the Year, I can handle this. I’m Father of the Year. Jenny is a wonderful little girl. An obedient child. How much trouble could she have gotten into? Jarrod groaned again. How much trouble? With Jenny who knew? I’m Father of the Year, I’m Father of the Year...

Dirty darn. He just wasn’t gonna like this at all. Not once Mr. Wilkins got here and told him everything. Dirty, dirty darn. I am in big trouble now.

“I never meant to, Daddy...”

THE END