by MagdalenMary495
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
A "songfic"…
Somewhere, out
there, beneath the pale moonlight
Someone’s thinking of me and loving me tonight . . .
“I’ll just be going out for a breath of air.”
Snatching up a pale blue shawl from a hook, the young woman let herself out the
cabin door. Outside, she filled her lungs with the crisp night air and shrugged
off the stifling cloak of convention she must wear in the house. Pulling the
shawl closer for warmth, she ran toward a rocky outcropping up a well-worn
path. A full moon tonight. Good. As she sat on the rock, hugging herself to
stop the shivers, she turned her face toward the moon. Up in the dark velvet of
the sky, it shone on her with a sparkly luminous light. Somewhere, out there,
past the valley and the hills and where the sun met the horizon, he might be
thinking of her. Loving her still. Looking at the same moon. Somewhere, out
there . . .
Somewhere, out there, someone’s saying a prayer
that we’ll find one another in that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star . . .
The night was cold. Nick was glad of the warmth of the campfire, sending brave
sparks into the crisp, dark sky. Crackling and snapping, the fire was the only
voice heard as he and Heath made bedrolls beside it. They’d put in a long,
exhausting week riding a few cattle for special sale in Sacramento. It had been
good to finish the task, see the beef loaded into a stock car for shipment to a
man in Montana and start the journey home.
As usual once they’d laid down, shifting to get comfortable on the hard ground,
they opened their hearts to confidences. Nick had grown to look forward to
these heart to heart talks, learning more about his brother and sharing stories
about his own life before Heath’s arrival. That evening, staring up at the
huge, bright moon Nick heard a whisper from the past. Look at the moon. No
matter how far apart we are, we’ll be looking at the same moon.
“Heath?”
“Hm?” Heath muttered drowsily with the snapping of the fire and the lulling
warmth. He’d burrowed his head into his pillow saddle as he snugged a sheepskin
coat around his chest.
“Did you even think what your life might have been like if you went down one
path instead of another?”
Heath roused enough to be annoyed. Make one mistake, just one mistake. “Nick,
boy howdy, are you gonna start ragging me again about letting that steer get
past me on the cliff . . . because if you are . . . ”
“No, no! I’m not talking about you. I’m talking about me. My life. What I might
have done.” Nick shifted rolling over on his side to stare into the flames.
Through the smoke of the burning cypress logs, he looked over at his brother.
Heath’s lopsided smile grinned back at him, his eyes half closed as he let
sleep begin to claim him again.
“Now, Nick, don’t tell me you had a hankerin’ to go away to law school like big
brother. Or ship off to college with Eugene and play around with germs and
such.” He murmured and wiggled his shoulders to find a softer spot of ground.
Nick chuckled. “No, I mean . . . I knew
this girl once. Camry. Camry Buchanan.”
“She live in the valley? Don’t recall anyone by that name.”
“No, “ Nick sighed deep inside himself. “Back east. I met her the summer I was
17. Father and I went to New York to visit his parents. Grandfather didn’t have
long to live and he wanted to see Father one last time. We got there and spent
a few months waiting. Camry, she lived on the farm next to my grandparents.”
“Was she pretty?” Heath yawned.
“Beautiful. She had eyes as blue as the summer sky, hair the color of corn
silk. Her smile . . . well, it lit up like a hundred candles in flame at once.”
Nick sighed deeply, rolling onto his back to look up at the moon. Their moon.
“And beautiful inside too . . . you know what I mean?”
Heath nodded, realized Nick couldn’t see the gesture in the dark and mumbled.
“Sounds like a really nice girl. What happened to her?”
“We got married.”
“You what?” Heath gave up all pretense of sleep and sat upright on the bedroll.
He stared over at his reclining brother in disbelief. Had Nick said what he
thought he’d said?
“Yeah,” Nick began the tale with his voice tinged with long ago sadness, “For
four whole days. Then they found us. Father and her parents. You never heard so
much wailing and carrying on in your life. Before I knew it I was on a train
back home and Camry’s parents were having the marriage annulled. I never saw
her again.”
Heath moved nearer to the fire. “Why not? I mean, why didn’t they let you stay
married?”
“Aw, well, turned out Camry was supposed to marry some dude later that summer.
Her parents had arranged it. Camry, told me she couldn’t stand the guy but he
was of her social class. The Buchanan had ambitions for her that didn’t include
a lowly rancher like me.” Nick crossed his booted feet, put an arm behind his
neck to cushion his head. Sleep would be a long time coming tonight, he knew.
Camry filled his thoughts and his heart as he wondered where the years had
taken her. “Wasn’t hard for them to write me out of the picture. We’d lied
about our ages and I bribed the circuit judge to marry us in a hurry.”
It was like Heath not to make judgments or criticize. “Do you still think about
her, Nick? Still, love her?”
“Last thing she said to me was she’d never forget me,” Nick ignored the
question’s Heath asked. Moonlight washed his face with its cold light as he
stared upward. Was Camry somewhere tonight looking up at the same moon? “She
said each time I looked up at the moon I should think of her, know she was
thinking of me and praying we’d find one another again.”
“Didn’t you ever try to find her again? When you got old enough?”
“Once. Or twice.” Twenty-seven. I wrote twenty-seven times, Camry. Did you ever
see any of those letters? Ever know I never forgot? Never will?
“What happened?”
Nick waited before answering, as if he needed to control the quaver in his
voice before he did. “Oh, her parents sent a note back saying I shouldn’t try
to write again. They said she was happily married and had children. It was best
if I left her alone.” Nick took a deep breath. “After awhile, I figured maybe
it was best but I never forgot her. The moon . . . looking at the moon always
brings her back to mind.”
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome
lullaby
it helps to know we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky . . .
Somewhere, out there. Was he sleeping under the same sky? The wind whispered
though the trees, sighing as if it felt her pain. So many years of wishing and
hoping on the moon. Years of hardship and disappointment, of burying a husband
and trying to wrest a living on her own. Joy. She couldn’t forget the joy of
birthing her children, seeing them grow. Yet, how different her life might have
been with him.
He was still out there. Somewhere. Camry could almost feel as if their hearts
touched as they both lifted their faces to the moonlight. Someday, perhaps, her
dreams would come true.
Somewhere, out there, if love can see us through
then we’ll be together, somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true.
“Mother, are you coming in?”
“Yes, Nikki, I’m coming.”