The Homecoming --

Daudra's Christmas Tale

by MagdalenMary495

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Part 1

Wiggling with anticipation, Nicky Barkley sat on the buggy seat finding it hard to contain his joy. He was going on an adventure! Just him and Uncle Nick and Daudra. Even though he was past four years old, Nicky never went anywhere without Daudra, a blue spotted pig stuffed with sawdust. Daudra was more than a friend. She was his constant companion. Today they were riding along with Uncle Nick to deliver a pony Aunt Audra had trained as a Christmas gift. If they could ever get away from Mama.

“You’ll take good care of him, Nick?” Mama asked, her anxious eyes raking over both of them in the buggy and the tawny pony tied on behind. As she pulled a yellow shawl tighter over her shoulders, a worried frown puckered her face while she searched for an excuse to keep him home. Nicky had seen that look many times before. “You won’t let him get lost or anything?”

“I’ll never let him out of my sight.”

Mama worried, “He’s just so little.”

“Mama,” Nicky protested knowing it didn’t do one smidge of good. He sighed as Mama
stood on tiptoe to yank the front of his blue woolen coat snug over his chest and pull his red stocking cap down to touch the top of his eyebrows. Nicky couldn’t wait until they drove away so he could yank the hat off his head. Mama sure did fuss. It wasn’t even that cold. Well, maybe a little cold, he thought as a chilly wind made the trees shudder. He shivered and leaned closer to Uncle Nick.

“I’ll take good care of him, Louisa.” Uncle Nick promised for the tenth time. Nicky knew it was ten because he’d counted each time. Thanks to Sissy he could count all the way to 200. Counting to ten was easy. He hoped Mama wouldn’t make Uncle Nick promise 200 times. They would never be on their way. The pony would grow into a horse, tied to the back of the buggy, before Mama made up her mind to let him go.

“Well . . . ” Mama hesitated, buttoned the top button of his coat and pulled him down for a quick kiss. She yanked the stocking cap down to his dark eyelashes so he had to peer out from under it to see her. “You be a good boy.”

“I will, Mama. Bye.” Nicky’s words came out strangled because he could barely talk with that top button buttoned. The horses, impatient with standing so long, tossed their heads making the bells on their harness jingle merrily. If they could just Go! Nicky felt the same way.

Uncle Nick quick chirruped to the horses, slapping their backs with the reins to get them moving before Mama could make him promise again. Or change her mind. Tugging off the stocking cap, Nicky turned around and knelt on the seat to wave goodbye. His heart filled and overflowed with all the joys the day promised. Soon as they were out of sight of Mama, Uncle Nick would let him wear his big cowboy hat and maybe hold the reins awhile. He and Daudra would spend the whole day with Uncle Nick. Best of all, he didn’t have to share with Sissy. Nicky waved a more enthusiastic wave and yelled as loud as he could to Mama. “Bye, Mama! Bye!”


They were on their way! Just as they passed under the big wrought iron gate, the wagon hit a bump in the road. Uncle Nick had to grab his coat to keep him from tumbling over the side.

“Nicky!” Mamas’ voice commanded sharply, “Sit down! And whatever you do, don’t lose Daudra!”


Daudra was gone.

By breakfast almost everyone on the ranch knew about the “tragerry” as Jenny called it. Victoria, Louisa, Audra and Silas searched the house from top to bottom. None of them expected to find a pig, last seen riding to Sunflower with Nick and Nicky, still in the house. It was more a search to give Nicky hope and make him feel they were doing something. Anything was better than seeing Nicky’s anguished blue eyes filled with tears, his small hands twisting the gray woolen vest he wore over a blue linen shirt. Without Daudra to hang onto, Nicky’s hands didn’t quite know what to do with themselves. He followed them wistfully from room to room, a pathetic little figure in short pants and hopeful suggestions. “Mama, could we look under the beds? Grammie maybe she got losted in the buggy?”

Heath and Nick searched the buggy, the barn and followed the road away from the ranch for a few miles just in case Daudra had fallen off close to home. By noon it was apparent to everyone that finding one blue spotted pig was not going to be easy. In fact, it was fast approaching impossible.

“Heath and I will ride on back to Sunflower,” Nick told Nicky as the sad eyed little boy sat with a lunch he couldn’t eat. In his grief, Nicky hadn’t been able to eat or drink anything since he’d discovered Daudra missing. “We’ll retrace every place you and I went yesterday. Bet we find Daudra just sitting somewhere waiting to be found.”

Nicky’s eyes filled with hope. “You will, Uncle Nick?”

“You betcha. We won’t come back until we find her, will we Heath?”

It was a promise destined to be broken. Nick and Heath retraced the road long after they should have given up hope. They enlisted the help of the Ramirez family, whose daughter had received the pony, to search their farm from barn to attic. They’d beaten the bushes where Nick and Nicky stopped for lunch. Anyone they passed on the road was questioned without mercy. They’d done everything possible but it wasn’t enough. Daudra was still missing.

Empty handed and as tortured as if they were bringing news about a death in the family, they dragged themselves home close to midnight. Their eyes were bloodshot from peering into the dark, guided only by the lanterns held high in their hands. They’d taken turns after dark, walking along the side of the road, kicking into brush and grass in case the pig was hidden. Admitting defeat wasn’t easy, especially for Nick who felt the blame the most, but finally the horses were too tired to push any longer.

“We did the best we could, Nick,” Heath spoke out of the dejection they both felt as they led the tired horses into the barn.

“The best would have been to find Nicky’s pig,” Nick ground out, angry with himself for not taking better care of the toy in the first place. He dreaded having to face Nicky with such sad news. Or Louisa. Jarrod’s wife would never hold it against him, she was too forgiving for that, but still he felt the guilt. He’d promised to take care of Nicky and he’d shirked the job. He’d let Nicky lose the one possession he loved most in the world.

Nicky, who’d stayed up hours past his bedtime that night looked up eagerly as they came in the door. When his eyes didn’t see Daudra in their hands, his face fell and his little hands began twisting his nightshirt in agony.

“I’m sorry, Nicky, we looked everywhere.” Nick couldn’t remember any other words that had ever been so hard to say. At that moment he’d have done anything to keep from wounding his nephew more.

Nicky’s eyes welled with tears. They rolled silently down his cheeks as not quite believing he quivered out, “Daudra is still lost?”

“I’m sure Uncle Nick did the best he could,” Jarrod tried to comfort his son. “Daudra might still show up somewhere.”

Everyone in the room voiced agreement. Certainly Daudra would show up soon. Someone one might find her and bring her home. Everyone knew, even as they spoke the reassuring words they were just empty promises. Finding Daudra would take nothing less than a miracle.

Part 2

Nicky was inconsolable.

Nothing anyone said helped. Until then he hadn’t cried for Daudra. Nicky, unlike Jenny, rarely cried. At hurts or disappointments he was more likely to pull inside himself like a little house shuttering itself for a storm. But as he realized Daudra was truly gone the tears gushed out in an unstoppable torrent. Losing Daudra was more than he could bear. He refused to be comforted as he cried out his grief for his friend. His wails filled the house from attic to veranda and it looked as if no one would get any sleep that night.

In desperation, Louisa and Jarrod put him into bed between them, trying to soothe, to talk or to listen. Even this rare, happy circumstance failed to give him any comfort. Nicky cried on and on until curled into a little lump of misery by Jarrod’s side his tears ebbed into ragged sobs. Louisa rubbed his back and Jarrod’s strong arm held him tight as his tears were spent. Only a few shuddery sobs shook his little body as both his parents hearts broke. How could they ever help him through this minor tragedy in his life? It was a standard joke in the family that Nicky preferred Daudra to any of them. He loved her as fiercely as he loved any other member of the family. Maybe more.

“Try to go to sleep, son,” Jarrod advised as he stroked the damp hair from Nicky’s tear stained face. “Things will look better tomorrow.”

“Me can’t sleep, Pappy. Not with Daudra gone. She always sleeps right here.” Nicky pointed to his right cheek with a trembling hand. “Daudra keeps away the monsters under the bed. An’ she watched me sleep all night. Mama said Daudra was my guard angel.”

“A guardian angel,” Louisa corrected gently, stroking his cheek. “But you have another angel, darling, who’s with you always. Even when Daudra can’t be there.”

“ Pappy’s here tonight. I’ll watch for the monsters under the bed. You go on to sleep.” Jarrod whispered as he tucked the blankets up to Nicky’s chin. He decided he’d leave the dim lamp lit until Nicky closed his eyes. No need to have him try to go to sleep in the dark without Daudra. Even with Daudra, Nicky sometimes asked for a lamp to be left on until he went to sleep. So Daudra wouldn’t be scared.

“I can’t,” Nicky quivered, “ Daudra is out in the dark all alone. Maybe a mean person will run over her with a wagon or a lion will eat her. She might be cryin’ for me. Can’t we go look for her some more?”

Jarrod and Louisa exchanged a worried glance over Nicky’s head. Both of them knew how well Nick and Heath had searched for the toy. If Daudra could have been found, Nicky would have her in his arms tonight. Their hearts ached with the knowledge that Daudra would probably never be found. Telling Nicky he might have to face that possibility was going to be hard. Jarrod raised a questioning eyebrow at his wife. Sadly, she gave him a slight nod. Best to get it over with, they agreed without saying a word. It wouldn’t get easier if they waited to tell him the truth. Holding out false hope would only make it worse.

Jarrod took a deep breath and forced the words out. “Son, you know we might not be able to find Daudra.”

“We will! I know we will!” Nicky sat up, eyes wide and horrified at the idea. Never see Daudra again? NO! NO! NO!

“We can hope, Nicky, but we might not be able to find her. Uncle Nick and Uncle Heath have searched all day .” Louisa put her arms around the stiff little body and gently pushed his head back on the pillow. Stroking his damp curls behind his ears, she felt her own eyes well as Nicky began to cry softy again. She took the coward’s way out and dangled a ray of hope in front of him. “It’s possible someone will recognize her on the road and bring her home.”

“How will they know she lives here?” Nicky cried, “She only talks to me an’ sometimes to Sissy. Maybe she will be too afraid to say she lives with me.”

Louisa sent a worried frown toward Jarrod. For the umpteen time that day she wished she’d insisted Daudra have some kind of identifying tag stitched to her fat stomach. Jarrod, who’d spent hours himself searching for a misplaced Daudra, always told her she should do it. If she just hadn’t coddled Nicky in his feelings about Daudra being “branded like a cow.” Each time she brought up the subject he’d pled or wailed that it would hurt Daudra’s “feewins” to be treated like a cow. The fact that Nicky was terrified to see the cows branded might also have had something to do with it. Whatever the reason, Louisa knew she should have insisted. If Daudra had a tag, there might have been some hope of her being returned.

“Son,” Jarrod tried again, wishing for the wisdom his father had always seemed to have, “part of growing up is learning you sometimes lose the people or things you love. It’s hard and it hurts but you have to learn to . . . ”

“No! I don’t wanna grow up if I can’t have Daudra!”

Nicky’s tears raised in volume as he realized all over again how desperate Daudra’s situation was. “Poor Daudra! She don’t even have a Mama and Pappy to sleep with tonight. Please, please can we go look for her, Mama? Please?”

“Not tonight.” Louisa answered matter of factly. In an effort to divert his attention, she tugged up his blankets and snuggled her head on the pillow next to his while talking in a cheerful, let’s get our minds off Daudra voice, “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Aren’t you excited, darling? You can hang up your stocking and we’ll put up the Christmas tree. Silas will be baking Christmas cookies. Grandmother will start making the pies. We’ll all have a lovely day.”

“I don’t want it to be Christmas!” Nicky wailed refusing to be comforted, “Not without Daudra.”

“Sh, sh..” Louisa began to murmur soothing words, humming a lullaby as she stroked Nicky’s hair, looping one stray lock behind his ear over and over. Holding his son’s hands, Jarrod joined in the humming until Nicky’s eyes began to droop, then shut. Louisa kept on with the lullaby as Nicky drifted off into an uneasy sleep punctuated by little half sobs. One hand reached toward his cheek, clutching for Daudra. Jarrod reached out and held the hand pressed against Nicky’s cheek. They would wait awhile to make sure Nicky could sleep before taking him back to his bed.

“I wish there were some hope of finding that pig,” Louisa whispered over their sleeping son. “I don’t know how he’s going to survive without her.”

Jarrod propped himself up on one elbow so he could look down at Nicky’s pale face, his dark lashes like smudges and his cheeks still glistening with tears. “I don’t know how any of us are going to survive without her. Except maybe Jenny. There never was any love lost between her and Daudra. Jenny’s always been so jealous of Daudra I’m sure she’s the only one glad to see the last of her.”

“Jarrod, that’s an awful thing to say! Jenny’s been very upset about Nicky losing Daudra. And...” Louisa hissed, lowering her voice only when Nicky began to stir, “...she did everything she could think of to take Nicky’s mind off his troubles. I’m sure she’s just as sad as we are by Daudra’s loss.”

“Then you’ve forgotten, lovely lady, how many times Jenny has had to be punished for hiding Daudra to tease Nicky. Or the time she gave Daudra away to the peddler’s daughter and I had to ride ten miles to get the pig back. Trading my best pair of boots for the privilege I might add! Or the day...”

“Allright, Counselor,” Louisa snapped , “I concede your point! Just because Jenny’s been jealous of Daudra in the past is no reason to conclude she’s filled with glee over Nicky losing Daudra now. Your daughter has been very angelic all day. Why, you should have seen how sweet she was to Nick before he left to search today. Knowing how upset he was over Nicky ...”

“And knowing it’s three days until Christmas,” Jarrod reminded her in a wry tone, having no illusions about his daughter. She could be sweet and generous without ulterior motives most of the time. At Christmas he questioned any good behavior knowing his daughter took the idea of Santa Claus watching her very seriously.

“Jarrod Barkley! You are a cynic! Christmas had nothing to do with it! Jenny knew how badly Nick felt and she wanted to comfort him.” Louisa’s eyes misted over just remembering the endearing picture Jenny made in her green plaid dress as she hugged Nick. “You should have heard her. She told him Daudra got lost many times and that he shouldn’t be sad. Jenny can be very compassionate.”

“Hm.”

“Be an old cynic,” she told him crossly before thumping her head back on the pillow. Stubborn, pompous lawyer! They were all the same! Knew it all and couldn’t be told anything different. “ You old...old..scrooge! You always have to be right.”

He laughed and her anger melted. She knew she often got as ruffled as a cat with it’s fur rubbed the wrong way over the silliest little things. All Jarrod needed to do was laugh to set her right again. He was still a pompous lawyer but she felt kinder toward him than she had a second ago. “I only wish I were. I was just thinking I wish I could be more like my father with Jenny and Nicky. He always seemed to know the right thing to do or say.”

“What would he have done if you’d lost your stuffed pig?”

“He never would have allowed us to have such a toy to begin with! He was strictly a no nonsense type of father. We were given the basics, expected to work and do our share to help support the ranch and treated as we were expected to treat him and mother.”

“Weren’t you loved?”

Jarrod reached across Nicky for her hand. “Yes, he loved us. We always knew that but he wasn’t a demonstrative man. A pat on the head or the shoulder if he were proud of something we’d done. Maybe a handshake. He didn’t give hugs or kisses as a rule. That was mother’s job.”

“Then I’m glad you aren’t like your father. Our children are showered with hugs and kisses and they’re both very sweet and loving because of it.” Letting go of Jarrod’s hand, she reached over to push a lock of Nicky’s hair off his forehead. “I think he’s sleeping soundly. Why don’t you take him back to bed now?” When he didn’t get up or make a move to answer her, Louisa questioned, “ Jarrod?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, darling. I was just remembering something.” He shook his head as a tug of memory floated just out of reach. “About my father.”

“What was it?”

“He wasn’t a demonstrative man but once a year, on Christmas Eve, he unbent enough to tell us how much he loved us. Father thought it spoiled children to tell them he was proud of them or even to show by his feelings we’d done a good job. We knew when we pleased him but we longed to hear him tell us so.” Jarrod stopped, lost in thought, a wistful smile on his face. “Most of the year he held back his praise. Oh, he might give us a gruff, ‘well done’ but that was it. But on Christmas Eve...”

“On Christmas Eve,” Louisa prompted.

Slowly, absorbed in the memories of those happiest moments with his father, Jarrod finished the tale. “On Christmas Eve, he’d come into our rooms and tell us all the reasons he loved us. He’d keep a list–in his mind I’m sure-and he’d point out one by one all the times he was proud or respected our decisions. It was the only time of year he actually said the words, ‘I love you.’ Then he would recite a poem. Mother told us much later he’d written it himself because he wanted us to know how he cherished his children. “

“What was it? The poem?”

“I’ve forgotten it.” Jarrod sat up and got out of bed. As he slid his arms under the small weight of his son, he looked down at Louisa with a look of remorse on his face; a look she rarely saw on her husband’s handsome features. “When I was about fourteen, Father overheard me telling Nick I thought we were too old for sissy poems. He never said it again and I’ve regretted my stupidity ever since.”

As he hefted Nicky’s limp body in his arms, Jarrod spoke with genuine regret, “If I could only have one of those Christmas Eve’s back again...”

Part 3

Christmas Eve Day began in a somber mood

Coming out of the nursery shortly before dawn, Jarrod bumped into Nick.. Literally. Caught off balance, Nick stumbled and dropped one of the boots he carried in his hand. He hastened to pick it up as a flush of guilt crept up his neck. Dashed were his plans to steal away while most of the house slept.

“Well, brother, Nick,” Jarrod whispered taking in the sight of Nick’s stockinged feet and the boots held once again in his hand. “If you’re sneaking downstairs to peek in your stocking, you’re a day early. I believe it’s tomorrow morning when you wake us all at the crack of dawn hoping Santa has not forgotten you.”

Nick made a sneering face, “Very funny. Why don’t you give up lawyering an’ go on the stage?”

“Why are you up so early?”

“Business.” Nick snapped anxious to steer away from further questioning. He made a move to edge around Jarrod but had to stop as Jarrod blocked his way with a quick step. Hoping to avoid admitting the fool’s errand he was on, Nick changed the subject. “Tell the kids I’ll be back by this afternoon .We’ll go out to cut down the Christmas tree. See you later.”

As Nick made another attempt to hurry by, Jarrod reached out to grab his arm forcing him to stop. “Nick, you probably won’t find the pig. Neither Louisa nor I expect you to keep looking. We don’t blame you. I’ve lost the blasted creature myself six times in the past two months.”

“You’ve been up almost all night because Nicky’s still upset. Right?”

Jarrod raked a hand through his dark hair, already standing on end from a night of trudging from his bed to calm Nicky every time he woke and rediscovered Daudra missing. Nicky’s frightened cries had woken him four times so far. If he hadn’t been a patient man, Jarrod wondered if he could have kept his sanity much longer. All this furor over a stuffed pig! “If the toy is lost, Nicky is going to have to accept that. You and Heath have already searched long enough. You don’t have to go look again.”

“Yes I do, Jarrod because it means so much to Nicky.” Gently shaking off Jarrod’s restraining hand he started down the hall. Jarrod’s whispered voice drew him back.

“Nick?” Nick turned to see Jarrod’s weary but grateful smile. “Thanks. I hope you find her...for all our sakes.”


Everyone picked at breakfast that morning. Looking at Nicky’s woebegone face took away everyone’s appetite. No one could think of a cheery word to brighten up the distraught little boy. As soon as he was excused, Nicky went straight to the window seat in the parlor to watch in case Daudra came home. Louisa tried to interest him in helping with the Christmas cooking but Nicky was like every other stubborn Barkley she knew. “She might come home, Mama an I wanna see her first. She will be scared without me.”

After breakfast, Silas and the Barkley women took over the kitchen to start preparing the holiday feast. Daudra might be missing. Nicky might be inconsolable and refusing to leave his post at the parlor window seat. Nick might be off on another futile search for the pig but tomorrow everyone would expect the stuffed goose, trimmings and pies just like every other Christmas. Keeping their hands busy gave them all less time to worry or be gloomy.

The mood in the bright, sun filled kitchen was in sharp contrast to the cheerful scents of yeast, gingerbread and the cinnamon of apple pies. The holiday colors of the ladies dresses glowed with a happiness none of them felt in their hearts although they all made a determined effort to appear cheerful. Victoria ,gowned in a youthful red checked dress that lent a touch of pink to her soft cheeks, sat at one end of the round table mixing pie dough.

Standing beside Victoria, Jenny slowly picked the stems from raisins as her contribution to the holiday cooking. Her cherry red dress and ruffled white pinafore gave the illusion of a sweet, obedient child in a Christmas tableau. As a concession to the holiday attire, she’d been allowed to wear an enormous red bow edged in gold in two loops on top of her dark curls. Her blue eyes sparkled with anticipation of Christmas joys and a little smile kept curving her pink lips upward. Although she might be a vision of innocence, Jenny’s rebellious thoughts at the moment would have shattered any illusions. Privately, Jenny despised picking stems from raisins and longed to plunge her hands in pie dough. It would feel soft and squishy just like mud.

“Grammie? Can I help you put the crust into the pans?”

“We’ll see.” Victoria promised in a voice that meant ‘yes.’

Jenny smiled to herself and went back to the raisins in a happier frame of mind. A happiness that lasted all of five minutes while the work in the kitchen continued. Grammie mixing the dough and Aunt Audra cutting out miles of gingerbread boys on the table. Gingerbread boys that would be sightless until Jenny finished the raisins for eyes. Mr. Silas and Mama were just finishing clearing off the dining room table and beginning the washing up when the embarrassing conversation began.

“Here are the last of the glasses, Silas,” Louisa said as she walked into the kitchen carrying a tray. Trying to put herself into a holiday mood, Louisa had chosen a deep red dress with a pinkish sheen to the wool. She usually wore her dark hair in a tidy bun twisted in loops on the back of her head. This morning she’d let Jarrod tuck a wisp of holly in her hair. Such a little thing but it gave her a giddy, holiday feeling and lent a self conscious blush to her face when even Heath admired it at breakfast. “I’m sorry none of us were very hungry this morning.”


“That’s alright, Miz Barkley. I reckon we all got our minds on Mr. Nicky. “ Silas shook his head sadly as he scraped sausages, potatoes and eggs into the slop pail. The pigs would feast today, he thought which reminded him of the pig at the center of the family’s distress and an idea he’d had during the night. “I had an idea , Miz Barkley.”

Louisa sat the tray on the dry sink and turned to listen. When he had her full attention, Silas explained,. “I thought mayhaps we could make another pig.”


“Oh, Silas,” Louisa’s heart went out to the family servant she’d grown to love since she’d become Jarrod’s wife. His caring and compassion for them all were something she cherished more with each visit to the big ranch. “Mother and I thought of it too. But it just wouldn’t be the same for Nicky. Daudra was one of a kind, I fear. I wish now I’d kept some of the fabric when I made her,” at Silas’ hopeful look Louisa bit her lip before plucking the courage to disappoint him, “ but it was just an old apron I’d torn.”

“Reckon the little fellow would know if she didn’t look the same.”

“Yes, even if by some miracle we did find the same fabric, it wouldn’t be Daudra. He knew all her little flaws–like her scorched ear..”

Audra snickered and unknowingly swiped flour across her cheek, “Daudra’s first tragedy.” She sent a knowing look in Jenny’s direction. “I think someone was just a little jealous.”

Standing by Grammie, Jenny cringed as Mama nodded in agreement. I was NOT jealous! I never meant to throw her at the fire. I was mad cause Nicky said Daudra told him not to play with me. When her ear started to burn I pulled her right away. An even if Mama did get awful, awful angry I never told her it was Nicky’s fault. It was his fault! It was! He shouldn’t like Daudra better than me!

“I’m sure he’d be able to identify her by the feather stitching on her stomach too.” Victoria spoke up as she plopped the dough on the floured table and began to roll it out. “He cried so loudly every time I pushed the needle into the fabric I had to have Nick carry him outside. You’d have thought I was sewing him up.”

Jenny plucked raisin stems faster and wished they’d get to another subject. Daudra’s tragemies were something she’d rather forget. Every time Daudra got hurt, she got in trouble. “Did I do enough raisins now, Aunt Audra?”

“No. Fill this bowl up too.” Aunt Audra handed her a brown bowl without forgetting the subject at all. Dirty darn. “I remember when he came in screaming with what was left of Daudra clutched in his hands...”

“Nick told me you couldn’t understand a word he said.”

“We couldn’t.” Audra answered with a shudder. “That was such an awful day. I still have nightmares."


“ I’d thought I’d survived everything during Nick’s childhood. But that day...” Victoria groaned in remembered agony, “it was one of the most dreadful moments in my life. Nicky came running in screaming, ‘She’s killed! She’s killed!’ A thousand horrible images went through my mind. I could imagine having to face Jarrod with the news I’d allowed something to happen to Jenny.” Victoria shuddered glancing at her granddaughter with a look both thankful and full of reproach. “ Nick had to pour a sip of brandy down Nicky’s throat to revive him so we could find out Jenny wasn’t dead. Daudra losing all her sawdust took ten years off my life.”

Nicky said Daudra had a tummy ache. I just wanted to operate like Dr. Merar. Nicky said I could! How was I spose to know all Daudra’s guts would fall out if I cut her open? An I didn’t know Nicky would go loco an scream like I cutted him open too. When he went running to the house I got scared.

Jenny lowered her flushed face to stare at the raisins with swimming eyes. Nobody understood at all, at all! . I’m glad I ran away an’ everybody had to look for me hours and hours. An I sure am glad Uncle Heath found me hiding in the hayloft first. He listened an saw how sorry I was for murdering Daudra. Grammie was wooden spoon mad but Uncle Heath wouldn’t let her punish me. He said I didn’t know what would happen to Daudra an got Nicky to say Daudra forgived me. They made me promise not to cut Daudra again an I never cut her again. Ever! Stupid old pig! It wasn’t my fault she kept getting hurt. An Grammie told me never, ever to use her scissors an I didn’t! I used Aunt Audra’s instead.

“There’s the ink stain on her back hoof too. Indelible ink.” Louisa spoke up as she dried the glassware Silas had just washed to a sparkling perfection. “Now that minor catastrophe in Daudra’s life was one I never hope to live through again. Poor Jarrod. I’ve never seen him so livid.”

Daddy should have said not to play on his desk that day. An he should have put a cork in that ink bottle too. I don’t know why Daddy blamed me an Nicky when he didn’t say that day not to play on his desk. If Daddy didn’t say every day not to play on his desk, how was she spose to remember?

“How many times have I told you NOT to play on my desk?” Daddy shouted when he saw the notes he’d taken for a trial all spotted with Daudra’s footprints. When Jenny pointed out politely she thought that you could still read most everything, Daddy’s face got redder and the pencil he clenched in his hands snapped in two. “I cannot read everything, Jennifer! That blasted pig’s footprints are all over the page! Whatever possessed you to such devilment??”

“Sissy idea.” Nicky, the traitor said.

“Lie! Lie! Lie! You said Daudra told you to let her walk in the inky stuff...”

“Louisa!” Daddy’s scream was horrible. “Take them!” He yelled when Mama came running in the door, put her hand over her mouth in horror at the destruction and stared at them as if she couldn’t believe she knew such awful children. “Get them away before I do something I’ll regret! And take that blasted pig with you!”

Everyone laughed even though they’d heard the story before. Everyone but Jenny. Face flaming and wishing she could turn into a raisin and hide in the brown bowl so no one could find her, she knew which story would come next. The worst thing Daudra ever told Nicky to do.

Part 4

“Remember the time...” Audra began was overcome with giggles and sputtered out the rest , “the time Daudra caused pande....pande...pandemonium in the courtroom?”

Dirty darn! Dirty darn! Not THAT story again!

Silas turned from the wood stove with a yellow bowl of risen bread dough. Lifting the cloth to check the progress of the dough, he chuckled. Silas loved a good Daudra story. Dark eyes shining with glee he said,. “That be one of Mr. Jarrod’s best stories. He sure do love to bring it out with brandy and cigars to his friends. Most times they can’t stop laughin’.”

“Every time Jarrod tells it I laugh until my stomach aches. Please don’t get us started on it again. Please.”

“But, Louisa, it’s so funny!”

No it isn’t Aunt Audra, Jenny thought her cheeks burning with remembered shame. It isn’t funny if you’re me. She bit her lip and plucked raisin stems with furious fingers. I don’t like to be laughed at an’ nobody really blames Daudra. They all say it was my fault.

“Gentlemen of the jury...” Aunt Audra stood up straight, threw her shoulders back in imitation of Daddy and tucked one hand in the waistband of her pink checked apron. The other hand she pointed toward the ceiling just like Daddy did when he gave a summation to the jury. Jenny had peeked through the stair railings often enough to know he looked exactly like that when he told the story for company. Daddy loved to tell the story and hammed it up every time.

“Audra, no...” Mama protested weakly but she’d already begun to laugh tears out the corners of her eyes.

“I ask you to take a few moments to contemplate in silence my client’s innocence. Can you in all conscience condemn him? I ask you to be silent and examine your hearts and minds and then come to the right, the only conclusion.”

Mama tittered like a little girl. Aunt Audra was laughing so hard she couldn’t go on and she’d forgotten to keep her hand in her pretend vest pocket. Holding her stomach to keep in the unladylike belly laughs, Aunt Audra gasped for breath between laughs. Jenny cringed until her shoulders touched her ears knowing what came next. The worst part.

When Aunt Audra couldn’t go on Mama took over the story. “Jarrod got his silence...”

“It be so quiet,” Silas interjected in Daddy’s words from having heard the story many times before, “you could hear a feather float across the floor.”

“Then from up in the balcony a little voice piped out, ‘Silence in the courtroom. The judge wants to spit.’”

Mama and Aunt Audra finished the last line together. They couldn’t control their mirth and ended up having to hold one another up they were laughing so hard.. True to her word, Mama had to hold her stomach as if it ached from too much laughing. Each time they seemed to be quieting down, one of them would say again, “Silence in the courtroom. The judge wants to spit.” They’d go off on another gale of laughter. Or one of them would notice Jenny blushing and it would set them off again.

“It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t.” Jenny didn’t realized she’d whispered the words out loud until she glanced up and caught Grammie’s loving eyes watching her. Out of everybody in the kitchen, Grammie hadn’t laughed at the story or at her. Almost as if Grammie knew it hadn’t been Jenny’s fault Nicky yelled out in the courtroom. That Daudra told Nicky to yell out.


It cheered Jenny a little to remember Grammie was never fooled by Nicky. Grammie’s wooden spoon found his bottom as often as it did hers. Sometimes Grammie even punished Daudra when Nicky said she’d told him to be naughty. Grammie could look Nicky straight in the eye and say, “You should have told Daudra she isn’t allowed to act that way in this house.” Then no matter how loudly Nicky howled, Grammie sat Daudra high on a shelf for awhile. So maybe Grammie understood. Maybe...Jenny caught her breath at the startling idea...maybe Grammie had been just like her when she was a little girl and didn’t like to be laughed at either. It made her feel a little better but not much. Not with Mama and Aunt Audra acting like babies.

“Come, darling, sit on my lap and help me put the pie crusts in the pan.”

Jenny climbed into Grammie’s lap without the happy anticipation she’d had earlier. Picking up the circles of pie dough, Grammie’s hands guided hers into pressing the soft, squishy dough into the tin pans. Eyes blurred with tears Jenny watched the crusts take shape as Grammie showed her how to pinch the edges. Usually she enjoyed helping anyone in the kitchen but now her stomach hurt from holding in what she wanted to yell and her heart felt all squeezed up Why didn’t Mama and Aunt Audra stop laughing? It’s not funny, it’s not!

“Settle down, you two,” Grammie spoke a warning as if reading Jenny’s thoughts. “We’ll never get anything done if you keep acting silly.”

Ha, ha, Jenny wiggled a little and sniffed back her tears. Mama and Aunt Audra got scolded by Grammie. Jenny loved it when Grammie yelled at the grownups. Even Daddy had to obey her. Maybe their teasing wouldn’t hurt so much now if Grammie made them behave.

Mama and Aunt Audra looked at one another, gave a few final giggles then struggled to get control over their emotions. Going back to her gingerbread boys, Aunt Audra snickered once or twice but a swift glance in Grammie’s direction stilled those. Mama tucked a few stray wisps of her brown hair back into place, picked up a corner of her apron and dried the tears of laughter from her cheeks. Still smiling she began to pick up the raisins Jenny had stemmed and gave sight to the blind gingerbread boys.

“My dear husband can laugh over the story now but it was all his fault in the first place. He never should have taught the children that vulgar saying.”

For the first time, Grammie gave a small laugh, “I’m sure he wasn’t laughing when Judge Peters rose from the bench incensed, demanding the culprits be found at once. I can imagine the shocked look on Jarrod’s face. He knew it was Nicky’s voice and hoped no one else did.”

Mama laughed. “It’s a good thing Jenny knew that courthouse inside and out. Jarrod said while the Judge was shouting for someone to search the balcony he could hear the guilty parties scurrying down the back stairs. He said he prayed they’d get away before someone caught them. When the Judge recessed the court, he found them sitting in his office where he’d left them. Acting like perfect angels.”

Aunt Audra laughed as Mama said, “Little Miss Mischief Maker and her willing accomplice.”

Not quite understanding what Mama meant, Jenny still caught enough of the meaning by Mama’s annoyed voice and the way Aunt Audra agreed by rolling her eyes to know they blamed her for Nicky being naughty. It wasn’t me! It wasn’t!

Jenny would never forget her horror when Nicky yelled out the silly words. In a courtroom! Jenny had been taught courtrooms were sacred, almost like churches. Being naughty in a courtroom meant you’d most probably go to jail right away and then to the bad place when you died. Never, ever had Jenny been naughty in a courtroom. She didn’t dare. Too bad Nicky wasn’t as smart as her.

She didn’t have much time to be shocked before she realized they needed to get away. Fast. Below the balcony she heard the judge shout, chairs being pushed back and the door to the balcony steps being unlocked. Men yelled and shouted and she could hear the mean Judge Daddy didn’t like yelling for, “Order in the court! Order in the court!” and pounding his gavel till it cracked.

“Run! For somebody gets us!”

She’d grabbed Nicky’s hand, the one not holding Daudra by her neck, and run fast as she could back to Daddy’s office. On the way she told him exactly what would happen when Daddy got there. It wasn’t good but Daddy said you should never lie. Nicky should know he was going to be punished for doing such an awful, awful thing.

“Nicky! Daddy’s gonna spank you! That was very, very bad! Why’d you do that?”

“Daudwa telled me to.”

“Too bad the woman he’d hired to watch them that day fell asleep,” Aunt Audra said sliding a panful of gingerbread boys in the over. “Or maybe it isn’t. It makes a delightful story!”

You’re wrong, Aunt Audra! It’s not a good story!
“It’s good Judge Peters never found out! Jarrod would have been looking for another position. His days as a lawyer would have been over.” Mama gave Jenny a slightly reproachful look. “He could never understand why Jenny told Nicky to be so naughty. You remember, Mother, how he use to be so proud of how well she behaved in a courtroom? He couldn’t stop bragging.”

It was too much! Even if it was Christmas Eve and Santa had spies looking around for bad little girls, Jenny couldn’t keep still. She did know how to behave in a courtroom! She did!

“Daudra told Nicky to say it! Not me!”

Mama ‘s brow furrowed and her blue eyes flashed. Nettled at Jenny’s impudence, she snapped, “So you’ve said, Jenny. Daddy didn’t believe you did he?”

“No.” Jenny ducked her head and answered in a small voice. Daddy blamed her for everything.

Mama gave her a stern look. Helping Aunt Audra put the rest of the raisins on the gingerbread boys, she warned, “Then you’d best stop telling that lie. You wouldn’t want me to tell him you’re still insisting you’re innocent do you? Daddy was there. He knows what happened.”

No he don’t. He don’t know everything. He didn’t even know when I told him the truth.

“How could you, Jennifer?” Daddy’d been furious when he found them in his office. First he’d yelled at the watching lady and made her cry before she went running out of the office. Then he hadn’t even said anything to Nicky but started yelling at her. “You might have jeopardized my client’s chance for a fair trial! I know you’re too little to understand that but it’s very, very naughty! And you certainly know better than to speak out in a courtroom.”

“I didn’t Daddy! It was Nicky! He said...”

“I heard your brother! I also know he couldn’t have thought of that mischief by himself. You told him to do it didn’t you, little Miss Instigator?”

He wasn’t going to like the truth. Daddy didn’t much like Daudra even when she was being a good pig. But it was the truth...Jenny had to tell the truth. Even if Daudra had to go to jail.

“Daudra told him to say it.”

“Don’t lie to Daddy!”

“I’m not! It’s the truth. Daudra told him.”

Daddy turned to Nicky. “Who told you to say Silence in the Courtroom, the Judge wants to spit?”

“Ou, Daddy.”

“No, no, son! Today. Who told you to say it today?”

“Daudwa.”

Nicky telling the truth made Daddy madder. He yelled and scolded and finally Jenny got spanked for lying and being an instigatamor whatever that was. It wasn’t fair! It was an awful, horrible day and she couldn’t stop crying. After she cried for a while and kept telling Daddy he wasn’t fair, he gave Nicky a little spanking too for yelling out in the courtroom. Even that wasn’t fair because Nicky barely cried and a few minutes later he was sitting on Daddy’s lap playing with his pocket watch and eating a peppermint drop. Daddy gave her a peppermint drop too but Jenny was still snuffling back tears and when he wasn’t looking she dropped it on the floor and crunched it with her shoe. He was mean, mean! And not fair! Jenny thought maybe part of her heart that loved Daddy chipped off and broke because he didn’t believe her. For a long time after, she always wiped off his kisses when he kissed her goodnight.

Every time someone told the story it made her mad when she remembered how Daddy blamed her instead of Daudra. She was almost glad Daudra was gone....except...it made Nicky so sad. When Nicky was sad she felt sad too. Most of the time he was a nice brother ...except when Daudra told him to be naughty.

“That silly little pig has given us all some frustrating, exciting and memorable moments,” Mama was saying as she finished the gingerbread boys eyes. She paused swiping at more tears in her eyes. Not happy tears this time but sad ones. “She’s been a friend to Nicky since he could barely talk. I just wish....”

“Maybe Nick will find her,” Aunt Audra said putting an arm around Mama’s shoulders and giving her a squeeze of comfort.

“Maybe. But I think we’re all wishing for the impossible. What we need to get Daudra back is a miracle.”

A miracle. What was that? Maybe she could get one so Daudra would come home. Wouldn’t Nicky be surprised if Daudra came home for Christmas? But what was a miracle and how did you get one? Who could she ask?

“Jenny?” Mama interrupted her starting to be excited thoughts about miracles. Her next words sent the small smile crashing off Jenny’s face and a pouty, mutinous look over her lips instead. “Speaking of lies....you did tell Mama the truth when you said you don’t know where Daudra is didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Thrusting out her bottom lip Jenny glowered at her mothers concerned yet hopeful face. With her foot dangling off Grammie’s lap, Jenny found the leg of the table and began an angry thump, thump, thump. Grammie didn’t say anything but she placed a hand on Jenny’s knee and squeezed gently to stop. Jenny didn’t want to stop but she did. Grammie had told her yesterday she’d bought her a lovely, big Christmas present. No need to make Grammie mad before she got to open it.

“You’re sure, Jenny?”

“Daddy made me swear four times! I didn’t take her! I didn’t!”

Dirty darn! Now she had to find a miracle to bring Daudra back. If she didn’t maybe even Santa Claus would think she was naughty and had hidden Nicky’s pig. Daudra had to get found!

Part 5

The holiday preparations in the kitchen continued in a flurry of floury hands and the pleasant chatter of the Barkley women. Gingerbread men were finished and stored safely away from temptation by little or big fingers. From the warm oven tempting aromas of apple, pumpkin and berry pies wafted into the room adding to the festive mood. Silas, working on his yearly treat of iced Christmas cookies, had just finished the first batches and passed around samples. Victoria tasted one and pronounced it “perfect.” Louisa, Audra and Jenny were all on seconds while still unable to decide. With a knowing smile, Silas handed Audra a third, “just so I can make sure.”

“Here, child, you take some of these to little Mr. Nicky,” he handed Jenny a small plate with green Christmas trees and yellow stars. Usually the first batch of cookies also included little pink pigs. Years ago, Heath had bent tin to make a pig shaped cookie cutter just so Nicky could hang pig cookies on the Christmas tree. This year Silas hadn’t the heart to take it out of the drawer. Not with Daudra still missing. “Might be he can eat a few.”

Louisa, with cookie crumbs around her mouth and a spot of green icing on her cheek, welcomed the suggestion. “That’s a good idea, Jenny. You can take Daddy some coffee too. He’s been working hard all morning.”

“Yes, Mama.” Smarting from the teasing and feeling grumpier by the minute, Jenny welcomed the chance to escape.

Silas arranged a small silver coffee service and plate of cookies on a round tray with handles. He helped Jenny pick it up and assured she could handle it- sent her on her way.

“You hold that careful, child.” Mr. Silas held the door open for her to get through. Smiling his praise, he smoothed some of her ruffled feelings, “You be a fine little helper, Miss Jenny. Mr. Jarrod be real glad for that coffee.”

Outside the closed kitchen door Jenny stopped to listen. Grownups were always letting Christmas secrets slip if you waited long enough. Already Jenny knew about the bottle of French perfume Uncle Nick had hidden in his sock drawer for one of his sweethearts. And last night she’d overheard Mama and Daddy having “words” about how much money Mama spent on a present for Grandmama Antionelli . This morning she heard Aunt Audra had bought Nicky a wooden t-r-a-I-n. All Jenny needed now was a grownup to tell her what it spelled. So far no one had slipped they were giving her a p-o-n-y but Jenny hadn’t given up hope yet. You could hear lots of secrets on Christmas Eve if you kept your ears close to the keyholes.

“We’re going to need more bread dough,” Grandma said from the other side of the door, “if we’re planning to make several dozen dinner rolls too.”

Talk, talk, talk. Jenny yawned. Food, napkins, the orphanage party tomorrow and then . . . Jenny wished she hadn’t waited. Mamas’ voice made her heart sink down to her toes. Mama saying exasperated, “I just wish I knew Jenny was telling the truth about Daudra. She’s hidden her before and told me with a perfectly straight face she knew nothing.”

Hurt tears burnt Jenny’s eyes and made her throat ache. What if Santa heard? If her own Mama thought she was a naughty girl what would he think? I didn’t hide her! I didn’t!

Jenny wanted to push the door open and tell Mama she didn’t take Daudra. No, she couldn’t. Mama would say like she always did, “Little girls who listen at doors often overhear things they shouldn’t.” Then she’d have to sit on a chair until she told Mama why it was wrong. Jenny always told Mama she knew why it was wrong without sitting in a chair but Mama wouldn’t let her. Listening at doors was always 15 minutes chair sitting without talking to anybody. And what if Santa came by just to see if she was a good girl and saw her sitting in a chair for being naughty? Her stocking might be EMPTY in the morning! Jenny sniffed. No, she wouldn’t go back into the kitchen. She’d take Daddy his coffee and show everybody she could be a good girl.

Stopping in the foyer, Jenny sat the tray down carefully on the marble table. She pushed it to the very center so it couldn’t fall off. I am a good girl. I won’t spill Daddy’s coffee. I’ll take Nicky his cookies and then give Daddy his coffee. I am a good girl. I didn’t hide Daudra. I didn’t. I am a good sister. Carefully, Jenny picked out the best Christmas tree and a star cookie to take to Nicky. On her way into the parlor she only stopped once to lick off some of his icing. There was too much on the cookie anyway.

Ever since breakfast, Nicky had kept a silent vigil at the parlor window seat. There was a wide smear on the window where Nicky pressed his forehead and nose to stare at the drive in hopes of seeing Daudra coming home. He turned a sad face toward Jenny as she walked toward him. When he saw her hands didn’t hold Daudra his shoulders slumped. Nicky hadn’t cried yet today but he looked as if he might any second. Lower lip puckered, his voice quavered, “ Daudra nebber come yet, Sissy.’

“I know.”

“Pappy say maybe she nebber come home. Ever!”

Jenny scowled. She climbed on the window seat beside him. Picking up Nicky’s limp hand, she plunked the Christmas tree cookie in it. “Eat your cookie an’ don’t listen to him. Daddy don’t know everything.” As he kept staring at her with his lip quivering, Jenny searched her mind for some crumb of comfort. “Maybe Uncle Nick will find Daudra. He went out to look more.”

“Pappy don’t know everything?” Nicky’s blue eyes widened with the idea Pappy could be wrong about anything. Looking down at the cookie in his hand he seemed so surprised by this unexpected idea he lifted it to his mouth and took a few tiny nibbles. “But Pappy say Uncle Nick can’t find her.”

“He don’t know everything! Mama said if we get a miracle we can get Daudra to come home.” Jenny forgot the star cookie was for Nicky and began to eat it herself. It made her feel immensely better right away. The cookie was so soft and sugary her teeth sank into each bite. The star was gone before Nicky had bitten all the top branches off his tree cookie. Jenny licked the yellow icing off her fingers.

“What’s dat, Sissy? A mura . . . the mu . . . ”

“Miracle.” Jenny lifted her chin in a superior way. Knowing more than Nicky always made her puff out her chest and feel smarter. “Mama said we need one so Daudra can come home. I’m gonna ask Daddy right now how we get one.”

Nicky thought this over while chewing his cookie. “But, Sissy, maybe he don’t know.”

“He knows some things,” Jenny changed her mind about her Daddy’s knowledge. Anybody who had all those dusty old books had to know a few facts. “He’s got all those fancy papers on his wall that says he didn’t get throwed outta school. Maybe he knows about miracles. Maybe he got teached that.”

“Sissy, “ Nicky handed her back the half-eaten cookie. “My tummy hurts.” Tears began to trickle from his eyes and slip down his cheeks. “I want my piggie back.”

Jenny leaned over and hugged him even if his nose did run all over the shoulder of her pretty red dress. When Nicky was sad, it made her feel bad inside too. Nicky and Daudra were pests. Sometimes they were mean to her or called her names. They got her in trouble. Lots of days Nicky made her mad enough to smear mud in his hair or shove him in a manure pile, but most other days he was the bestest friend she had. With all the grown ups around she and Nicky were the only two little people. They had to be friends. If Daudra didn’t come home, Nicky might be unhappy forever. Jenny sure didn’t want that to happen. Who would she play with if he sat on the window seat forever?

Dirty darn! Daddy sure better know how to get a miracle.

Part 6

“Well,” Jarrod looked up, pleasantly surprised when Jenny appeared in the study with coffee. Making haste to push any important papers out of her way and cork the ink bottle, he helped her steady the tray on the desk. “Thank you, little lady. I was just wishing for a hot cup of coffee.” He quickly poured a cup and took an appreciative sip. “And some of Silas’ cookies too. Don’t those look delicious? Have one?” He held out the plate toward her.

Jenny ignored the cookies. Staring at him in an appraising way, she stated matter of factly, “You don’t know everything, Daddy.”

Jarrod coughed and sputtered the sip of coffee he’d just drank. Eyebrows lifted in surprise he glared at her with a curious mixture of annoyance and pride. He was either raising brighter offspring or Jenny had made a lucky guess. He was 15 before he realized his father knew nothing. The same year he’d broken his father’s heart by criticizing the man’s once a year expression of love. Now that he had children of his own, he knew how much his careless words had thrust pain into his father’s heart. He’d done it deliberately. Hopeful Jenny was too young to realize she’d just cut him to the quick.
“Sometimes you’re wrong too.”

“Jenny, do you plan to stand here all afternoon and assassinate my character or do you have better things to do?”

“I don’t love you with all my heart either,” Jenny blurted out suddenly as if confessing an unpardonable sin. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she began to twist her hands in her white pinafore. Clearly distressed, she whispered, “I wipe off all your kisses too.”

Jarrod wouldn’t have admitted how the words stung. If there was one thing he’d always been able to depend upon it was Jenny’s wholehearted love. She was too much a Barkley, too much like her father he would ruefully admit, not to get her feelings hurt or let her anger get the best of her on occasion. He knew sometimes when he had to punish her Jenny could and did let her little heart fill with loathing. She muttered enough imprecations in his hearing about “going to be somebody else’s little girl” to let him know the depth of her anger. But he also knew after her tears were spent or she’d had time to be sorry, Jenny would come to be assured of his love. Always she’d whisper, “I still love you with all my heart, Daddy.”

He wondered what he could have done this time to wound her so much. “I can’t tell you how greatly that distresses me Jenny.”

Jarrod wasn’t prepared for Jenny’s reaction. Bursting into tears she put both small hands over her face and wept as if he truly had broken her heart. He sighed. Something told him he wouldn’t be getting back to work or to his hot coffee until he got to the bottom of Jenny’s distress.

“Come here, honey and tell Daddy what’s wrong.”

Jenny came toward him dragging her feet. He knew she’d rather not explain. But once he had a lapful of red taffeta, ruffles and tearful little girl, he began to get a glimmer of truth from her disjointed words as she dampened his shirt front. It was a confused mix of Nicky, Daudra, Mama not understanding and having an empty stocking on Christmas morning. Jarrod was use to hearing stories told through tears so he waited patiently while eyeing his rapidly cooling coffee. The thought did flicker through his mind as it often did,...why did his children’s worst crisis always come when he was in the middle of something important?

“And you didn’t believe me,” Jenny wailed as an ending to her tale of woe.

“About what?”

“When Daudra told Nicky to say Silence in the Courtroom, you blamed me!”

“Jenny, you know Daudra doesn’t really talk. Don’t you?”

Jenny sniffed, swiping tears away with the back of her hand. “I know that Daddy! But Nicky thinks she does. And Nicky yelled it out not me. I was a good girl!”

Although Jarrod still found the story of Daudra in the courtroom amusing, he’d come to regret his hasty accusation of Jenny that day. Nicky ‘s voice had been the one everyone heard. It had been his sincere conviction Jenny was to blame. Until he realized to his shame, she hadn’t instigated the mischief after all. He knew she held in the hurt feelings for weeks afterward. What he hadn’t realized was how deeply Jenny still felt the pain of his not believing her.

“And that’s why you don’t love me with all your heart? Because I didn’t believe you about Daudra?”

“It hurts right here, Daddy,” Jenny pointed to where she thought her heart might be. “Cause you did a bad thing. You always say peoples are immocent till the judge says they’re bad.”

“Innocent until proven guilty. Yes, that’s the law.”

“You don’t do that.”

“Of course I . . . ” Jarrod snapped before seeing it from Jenny’s side. “Oh..I...guess maybe I did jump to conclusions didn’t I?”

Jenny nodded tears still spilling from her eyes. “You said I was naughty in the court even afore you asked Nicky if Daudra told him to yell.”

“There’s some truth in what you say, honey. But you have to remember that Daddy was looking at what happened from your past behavior too. In the past you’ve been so obviously guilty there was no need to prove your innocence. I naturally assumed you told Nicky to misbehave and you were lying when you insisted Daudra told him to.”

As he spoke Jenny’s blue eyes squinted until she wore a perplexed look on her face. Looking into his face with total confusion she asked, “Daddy, could you say that in real people talk stead of lawyer talk?”

“It means,” Jarrod tapped the tip of her nose playfully fighting a desire to laugh at her serious desire to understand, “a certain little lady is often naughty. She often tries to cover her naughtiness by lying. So when her brother did something very Jenny like, I wrongfully assumed she was behind the deed.”

“Oh.”

“Now do you understand what Daddy is trying to say?”

“No.”

No, he wouldn’t be drinking that coffee while it was hot. “Jenny, do you remember the day you told Nicky to run through the train and yell, ‘Robbers on the train! Hide your money!’ or the time you dared him to stand up in church and sing the gin song? Or the day you told him it would be fun to spoil Mama’s luncheon with the Ladies Aid by pretending he had a mouse that had gotten loose in the dining room?”

Jenny puckered her face and appeared to seriously consider his question. Finally, in a small voice she said, “I think I forgets all that, Daddy.”

“Jennifer, whether you remember or not, I remember the occasions perfectly.” Jarrod’s jaw tensed wondering why his daughter was blessed or cursed with the Barkley stubbornness. She could be so obstinate! He almost had to laugh. Mother had finally gotten her wish. Hadn’t she always told him, “Someday Jarrod, you’ll have a child just like you. Then you’ll know what I’ve gone through with your hard headed determination to always be right.”

He hugged her a little tighter to take the sting from his rebuke, stepping cautiously around her already broken heart, “Daddy didn’t forget, Jenny. Prior convictions are often useful in judging if a person is guilty of the same type of crime again. No! Don’t cry, honey! Daddy will try to explain without lawyer talk.”

Jenny cried harder. Jarrod gave his coffee a wistful glance and hoped for the best as he groped for another explanation.

“If a person is guilty of doing a certain type of crime—like robbing banks, often the person keeps on robbing banks. With you, Jenny, you lead Nicky into mischief. That day I assumed you had done it again. Now do you understand?”

“Yes,” Jenny hiccuped out the words, “you said I was guilty without being immocent first!”

“I didn’t!” He could feel a vein throbbing in his neck, his temper flaring and he fought to get it under control. As he struggled to rein in his emotions it suddenly occurred to him, Jenny might be right. He had judged her wrongly. Somehow there was nothing as shaming as having your child point out your shortcomings. “Jenny, I don’t know how but you’re right.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are.” He turned her to face him. Taking a handkerchief from his pocket he mopped the tears off her face and wiped her dripping nose. “I think this has been a lesson to me, honey. From now on I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt . . . ” Jenny’s lip began to quiver so he quickly amended the words to, “ . . . trust you. I’m going to believe you until I can prove you’re guilty.”

“You promise?”

Jarrod crossed his heart and held up his hand as if he were taking an oath. “I give you my word.”

“Well, I guess that’s okay,” Jenny gave him her grudging agreement. “Cept part of my heart’s not gonna love you until it happens.”

“I believe that’s fair. I’ll strive to regain all of your heart, Jenny.”

When she giggled, Jarrod felt the tightness loosen in his chest. Solving one of his children’s problems always left him with a feeling much like the exhilaration of winning in court. Or as if he’d passed a test of fatherhood and come out successful. He took a few minutes more to cuddle Jenny and plant kisses in her shiny hair. When he’d tickled her enough to make her laugh out loud, he knew things were almost right between them. All except for that bit of her heart she was holding back until he proved himself a man of his word.

“Daddy has quite a bit of work to finish before we get the Christmas tree,” he ended the playtime by setting her on her feet; then pulling her enormous red bow into loops on top of her head. “Why don’t you run along until then?”

“Okay.”

Jenny got to the study door and stopped with her hands around the doorknob. “Daddy, I almost forgot. How do peoples get a miracle?”

“A miracle?” Jarrod had already shuffled his papers back into position, uncorked the ink and taking a taste of very cold, bitter coffee. His mind had shifted from Jenny’s crisis to what Louisa called the “world or whereto’s and whereases.” Halfway paying attention he said, “I’m afraid you’ll have to find someone who knows more than I. You need an expert.”

“Is Uncle Nick an expert?”

Jarrod gave a short laugh. “Hardly.”

“Uncle Heath?”

If he wanted to get back to work, he realized he’d have to put his full attention on her question and give her a sufficient answer. Jarrod forced his eyes from the work to be done and thought for a moment about her question. “Miracles? Tell you what! Next time you see Father Michael you ask him. I’m sure he’s an expert on the subject.”

Jenny beamed. “Thank you, Daddy!”

She hardly heard his muttered ‘you’re welcome’ as she carefully, quietly pulled the study door closed. Fr. Michael? Jenny stopped to ponder the chances of going to Stockton to talk to Fr. Michael. Somehow she had to talk to him today. Jenny smiled. A grown up. She was going to need a grown up and she knew just which one she’d ask.

Part 7

“How could you, Heath?” Louisa’s voice trembled with emotion, “ Jenny’s just a child but you knew better! How could you let her tell Nicky Daudra is coming home tonight. It’s cruel to give Nicky false hope.”

Shifting from boot to boot and twisting his Stetson through nervous fingers, Heath didn’t dare to meet his sister in law’s troubled eyes. He’d glanced up once to see Jarrod’s arm go around Louisa’s shoulder as he held both her hands in one of his. Heath didn’t want to know if Jarrod was comforting Louisa or preventing her from scratching his eyes out. Louisa was usually a sweet tempered, pleasant woman except where her babies were concerned. Ever since Jenny had come running into the house shouting to Nicky about the miracle that would bring Daudra home for Christmas, Louisa had gone past mad to furious! Heath hadn’t felt taking Jenny to Stockton was all THAT bad...until he had to face the Barkley inquisition in the study while Audra tried to distract the ecstatic children with lunch.

“I didn’t know what she had in mind, Jarrod,” Heath tried to defend himself to the brother he thought might understand his dilemma, “She came with her little pocketbook and her hat on crooked asking me to take her to town...well...” Heath stopped twisting his hat and began to tug at the strangling collar of his beige shirt. The room sure felt warm along about now. He wished he could dowse the cheerful fire crackling in the grate. “I figured she wanted to buy a present for Christmas.”

Heath darted a quick look at Jarrod from under his lashes. As he’d expected, Jarrod did look as if he sympathized. “When she looks at you with those blue eyes...”

“Yeah,” Nick agreed surprisingly, coming to Heath’s defense. “Kinda hard to resist.”

Nick had come back from another futile Daudra search just in time to see Jenny and Nicky doing a happy jig around the parlor. Until he’d seen the tears in Louisa’s eyes and the grim look on Heath’s mouth, he’d supposed they found the pig while he was gone. Jarrod had been quick to point out the minor catastrophe of Jenny’s visit to Fr. Michel and his unknowing advice on how one received a miracle.

Louisa fumed and struggled away from Jarrod. This time Heath was sure she planned to attack if not for Jarrod refusing to let her loose. “How could you let Jenny do this? Nicky is going to be heartbroken when her miracle doesn’t happen. And what is it going to do to Jenny when she realizes God didn’t answer her prayer? I don’t understand how you could let this happen!”

“Heath,” Victoria spoke from her seat on the plush settee, “weren’t you curious when she wanted to stop at the church to see Father Michel? Jenny must have given you some excuse.”

Glad to turn to her calm voice of reason, Heath faced Victoria with a determined effort to be vindicated. Mother sat quietly with her hands clasped in the lap of her pink checked dress. So far she didn’t look like she planned to disown him “She did Mother. She told me she wanted to wish Fr. Michel a Merry Christmas. I kinda figured she wanted to see the Nativity scene too. When she told me I could wait for her in the buggy...well, it wasn’t til she came out and told me Daudra was coming home...”

“Guess what, Uncle Heath? Guess what? I asked Father Michel how peoples get miracles!”

“Didja now?”

Jenny bobbed her head up and down so hard her red tam tilted over her eyes. As Heath shifted the reins to one hand so he could right the hat, Jenny told him beaming. “He said all you got to do is prayer and believe with all your heart an’ it will happen. So guess what I did?”

“What?” Heath recalled his heart began to sink along about the time Jenny demonstrated how hard she prayed. She’d clasped her little hands together, squeezed her eyes as tight as could be and dropped the news like TNT into his lap. “I prayed hard as I knowed how so Daudra can come home tonight. Then on the way out of the church I put three pennies in the Poor Box, just in case God makes you pay for miracles. You think that was enough money, Uncle Heath? I don’t got any more but maybe my Daddy could give me more. He don’t like Daudra much but he don’t want Nicky sad on Christmas.”

“I guess I just didn’t think what might happen if I let her go in alone. I’m real sorry, Louisa. Jarrod.” Heath tried to put his inadequacies as an uncle in words, “She just has a way of making you go along with her plans, ya know? And I hated to refuse her today–it bein’ so close to Christmas.”

Jarrod’s laugh was a snort not appreciated by his wife or his mother although Heath saw a glimmer of hope. If anyone could understand how humbling it was to be taken in by a pint sized swindler, it would be older brother. “How well I know.”

“ I never figured what she was up to,” Heath repeated, now that he saw he might not be blamed for the entire situation, “ Not until she came out an’ told me how her Mama told her it would take a miracle to bring Daudra home.” That barb hit Louisa. Heath looked up in time to see her wince. “You know, Jenny. You can’t tell her there’s no way.”

“And I told her to talk to Fr. Michel to find out about miracles,” Jarrod spoke with a wry twist of his lips. A twinkle lit his blue eyes as he hugged Louisa closer to him. “I’m beginning to doubt, dear wife, if we will ever learn to anticipate how bluntly logical our daughter is at times,” he teased. “You never should have let her overhear you even mention a miracle.”

Unwise, big brother, Heath thought noticing how fast Louisa shoved herself away from Jarrod’s embrace, wrenching her hands free. Yup, you should have kept your mouth closed.

. A warning flush warmed Louisa’s cheeks as she forced the words out between clenched teeth. “I suppose I’m to blame for all this! If Jenny overheard me say anything it was because she was listening at keyholes again. You know how hard I’ve tried to break her of the habit! Without any help from you I might add! I wasn’t the one who told her to talk to Fr. Michel!”       

“If you’re tossing blame around, “ Nick entered the fray from his perch on the side of the billiard table, “guess I’m the one it should land on. I lost the pig in the first place.”


“There’s no sense in anyone blaming anyone else,” Victoria tried to soothe the hurt feelings of her family.

“Not now there isn’t,” Louisa agreed near tears. “I don’t know how I’m going to crush my child’s faith by telling her miracles don’t just happen because she wants them too. And Nicky, what kind of Christmas is he going to have when he wakes up without Daudra? What are we going to do?”

A quiet knock on the study door interrupted the conversation. Audra opened the door and peeked around , “May we come in?”

“Yes, of course, give us a second or two.” Victoria stood and went to put a comforting arm around Louisa. Giving her a firm, but loving shake she sent Louisa a silent message. Brace up. The command wasn’t lost on Louisa. She stood a little straighter and began to wipe tears hastily off her cheeks. Satisfied that Louisa could control herself in front of the children, Victoria called, “Bring the children in now, Audra.”

Jenny and Nicky, each swinging on one of Audra’s hands, came into the study with their faces beaming Christmas joy. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to notice the somber mood of the adults although Audra looked around with a question in her blue eyes. Victoria gave a slight head shake. Audra interrupted that to mean she should try to smooth over the awkward moment.

“Guess who ate an enormous lunch?” She asked brightly, eyes twinkling down at Nicky. “And helped Silas find the piggy cookie cutter so he can begin to make some cookies?”

“Me! Normous lunch! Cause me happy Daudra’s coming home.”

Louisa moaned earning a slight shake from Victoria.

“Are you sick, Mama?” Jenny asked looking at her mother with concern clouding her blue eyes and worry puckers on her forehead.

“No, darling, Mama isn’t sick,” Louisa pulled herself together with a determined effort to be cheerful. She forced a smile to her lips. “I just had a twinge.”

Jenny stared at her mother with suspicion but Nick smoothed over the moment by asking the question the children had been waiting to hear. “Who’s ready to go pick out the Christmas tree?”

“Me! Me!” Jenny and Nicky shouted dancing up and down on tip toe. Running to Nick, Jenny grabbed both his hands and stared into his face as if no one else was in the room. Not to be outdone, Nicky wrapped his arms around Nick’s leg and refused to let go.

“Can we go now, Uncle Nick?” Jenny asked with such obvious adoration Jarrod felt a jealous twinge of his own. Apparently, Jenny still loved Nick with all her heart. He wondered just when he’d be able to redeem himself in Jenny’s eyes. Watching her hanging onto Nick, laughing in delight as he teased and tickled and started them on their way to the Christmas tree hunt, Jarrod couldn’t deny his heart clenched with a sudden pang. Someday, Jenny would meet someone she loved more than him. It was a daunting thought–one he’d rather not explore on this Christmas Eve.



The rest of the day sped along with Jenny and Nicky in the thick of every holiday preparation.
Along with Nick and Heath the children lugged in what Nicky called a “normous” tree. With the usual Barkley laughter, jokes and Christmas spirit, the tree was bedecked with shouts as familiar ornaments and decorations were unwrapped.

“Here’s the sheep Nick made in school one year,” Audra teased knowing her brother’s reaction and anticipating his jumping up as he always did to protest at the top of his voice.

“It was suppose to be a cow! A Brahma bull to be exact! Anybody with eyes can see it!” He grabbed the carved wooden ornament and looked around for anyone who might agree. “Nicky! Tell your Uncle Nick if this don’t look like a bull?”

Nicky took the ornament, inspected it closely and with a twinkle in his eyes teased, “Dat’s the best sheep I ever seed, Uncle Nick.”

Audra came in for her own teasing over her first cross stitched star which Jarrod always called the “stitches gone sour” because the star more resembled a spilled glass of lemonade. The jests were all in good natured fun and none of them would have missed the ritual for anything. Even Heath, who’d come late to the family celebrations, had been with the family long enough now to have a history with the Christmas tree. It was Victoria who always carefully unwrapped the porcelain angel Heath had given her on his second Christmas with the family.

“Look, children,” Victoria would cast a mischievous glance in Heath’s direction. Waiting until Heath’s face colored with embarrassment over his gift’s glitch, she’d point out, “See my angel. Doesn’t she have a sweet little face?”

“It was dark in that store,” Heath would protest, excusing the mistake, “how was I suppose to know she had a mustache and a beard! Might be I was a bit snow blind too. Me an’ Nick just come down out of the Sierra’s with old Max Sparks...”

Heath’s explanation’s were usually lost by that time as the family chuckled over the gossamer winged angel with yellow corkscrew curls and the face of a hairy miner. Guessing who had painted the angel’s face gave them hours of conjecture and laughs.

When the tree was finally decked to even Jenny’s critical satisfaction, Nick helped her to the top to place another angel with a sweet smiling, feminine face. It was Barkley tradition that the youngest always put the star on top. Jenny was loathe to give up her position to Nicky and had pled her case so well to Victoria for “just one more year, Grammie,” that Victoria couldn’t refuse her. Even though Jenny had begged for the privilege the past two years too.

The evening meal passed pleasantly although the children couldn’t contain wiggles of anticipation over what happened next--The hanging of the stockings on the mantel in the parlor. Almost every grown up heart quailed when Jenny told Nicky, “Daudra will help you open your presents tomorrow.” It was the only flaw to mar the perfect Christmas Eve.

Jarrod, with a child on each knee, read the Bible story of the first Christmas and then a chapter of “A Christmas Carol.” Nicky always chose the end while Jenny liked some of the spookier chapters in the middle. In true Christmas spirit, Nicky would allow Jenny to enjoy her favorite parts while he kept his hands clasped over his ears and his eyes squeezed tight. Not to be outdone, Jenny would clap politely as Tiny Tim spoke his immortal lines. Privately Jenny thought Tiny Tim “not a real kid.” She’d once told Jarrod she’d like Tiny Tim better if he hit somebody with his crutch once in awhile. “He’s just too good, Daddy. I don’t like him.”

As they usually did, the family ended the children’s evening by gathering around the piano for a carol sing. Louisa played. Everyone sang. Then despite pleas to stay up, “just a little while longer,” Jenny and Nicky were whisked to bed with visions of Daudra dancing in at least one dark curly head. It broke Louisa’s heart to tuck them in because they both smiled at her so sweetly, their faces full of trust.

Louisa wanted to go to the midnight mass at Fr. Michel’s church. Jarrod dutifully hitched a surrey, drove to town and yawning mightily because Nicky had kept him up most of the night before, drove home.

Silas greeted them with a dim lamp as they returned in the wee hours of Christmas morning.

“You didn’t have to wait up for us, Silas,” Jarrod gently berated the man, knowing Silas wouldn’t get more than two or three hours sleep if he were lucky. He’d be up before dawn to stir up the fires and mix his special Christmas rolls for the family.

“It’s alright, Mr. Jarrod, I jest didn’t feel right going to sleep with the front door unbolted. Not with all the giffs set out under the Chrismas tree. I locked up all the other doors and windows cept the front.”

“Your worries are over, Silas,” Jarrod assured him as he turned and shoved the bolt into place on the heavy front door. “Now we’re locked up tight. If anyone comes in now they’ll have to slid through the cracks.”

Louisa smiled at Silas and turned to lay a hand on Jarrod’s arm. “I’m going to check on the children, darling.”

“I’ll be up in a minute.”

Slipping off her fur stole, Louisa ran lightly up the stairs and opened the nursery door gently. A dim lamp burned on the lamp stand so she could see her two angels. Nicky had climbed into Jenny’s bed. The two were curled up together, both dark heads against the same pillow. Jenny held tight to Nicky’s ‘Daudra hand.’ A faint trace of tear tracks on Nicky’s face showed he hadn’t gone peacefully to sleep. Tears filled her own eyes looking down at him, wishing she could shield him from the hurt and disappointment that surely awaited him on Christmas morning.

“Are they still asleep?” Jarrod asked coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Or are they just pretending so they can jump on us and demand their stockings?”

“Aren’t they sweet?”

“When they’re asleep,” Jarrod quipped earning a quick elbow in his ribs from his wife. “Do you want me to put him in his own bed?”

Louisa grabbed his sleeve as he moved to pull back the blankets on Nicky’s side of the bed. “No. Let him be. Perhaps he’ll sleep tonight.”

Jarrod had lived through enough Christmas mornings now to know it wouldn’t be long before both children were up and giggling outside the door of their room. Last year, Jenny had been up at 2, 3 and 4. Jarrod leaned over to blow out the lamp. “Let’s go to bed. We might get some sleep.”


Not long after Jarrod and Louisa had gone to bed, Jenny woke. Her first waking thoughts jumped in glee. Christmas! It’s Christmas morning!

Still drowsy with sleep, Jenny felt too warm and comfy to move. A yawn cracked her jaw. Maybe it was time to get up. She could get up and look out the window to see if it was morning. Daddy always told her not to wake anyone until the sky looked pink. Jenny couldn’t decide if she wanted to move or not. Her bed was so soft and her eyes kept falling shut. Maybe she wouldn’t get up just yet...

“Hello, Jenny,” a voice whispered.

Jenny’s eyes snapped open. A man stood beside her bed, smiling down at her with Daddy’s eyes. Jenny moved her lips to ask, “Daddy?” but realized in time it wasn’t him. The man had Daddy’s eyes but his mouth smiled more like Uncle Heath. Shy and glad to see her. Something in his face reminded her of Uncle Nick too but Jenny couldn’t think what. When he reached out to touch her face with the tips of his fingers, she felt Uncle Nick’s hands. Rough and scratchy like they were when he didn’t wear his gloves. He looked like someone she should know but Jenny knew she’d never seen him before.

“Hello,” she answered politely with a puzzled squint.

“I brought you something,” the man said holding up a hand with a familiar blue spotted shape. He wiggled the little piggy back and forth a smile of delight twinkling in his blue eyes and the dimples on his cheeks playing hide and seek in his face.

“Daudra!”

Jenny’s shout of glee woke Nicky. He sat up in bed. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he caught sight of the strange man and stared wide eyed. Grabbing for the sleeve of Jenny’s nighty, Nicky kept a wary distance until the man showed him Daudra. Nicky squealed, “My piggy!”

The man held the pig out to Nicky. Shyly, peering up at the man from under his still damp lashes, Nicky took Daudra in his arms and clutched her to his chest. “Nicholas,” the man spoke soft as Uncle Heath. He reached out to touch Nicky’s cheek too, smoothing Nicky’s curls from his forehead with a sorrowful look on his face. “Such sweet children. Jarrod’s children.”

“Do you know our daddy?” Jenny asked . Maybe he was one of Daddy’s friends? He must know Daddy or he wouldn’t know where to bring Daudra.

The man smiled again. Instead of answering Jenny’s question he asked some of his own. “When my children were little I would tell them a poem on Christmas Eve. Would you like to hear it?”

“Yes.”

“If I tell you my poem will you remember the words so you can tell your Daddy tomorrow?”

Jenny nodded beginning to wonder if she shouldn’t wake Daddy even if the sky wasn’t pink yet. Maybe Daddy would want to thank the man....Mr...... “What’s your name, Mister?”

“You’ll know tomorrow, little Jenny,” the man answered. “Your Grammie will tell you tomorrow. Now, listen carefully . . . ”

Part 8

“Mama! Daddy! Mama! Daddy!”

Jarrod thought he’d just closed him eyes when the excited shouts forced him to open them again. Bleary eyed, he glanced toward the window, saw a pink tint of dawn and knew he’d slept. Too bad he didn’t feel it. “They’re awake,” he told Louisa unnecessarily feeling her stir beside him.

“Maybe we’re dreaming,” she murmured.

“Mama! Daddy!” Jenny’s voice demanded attention as she turned the knob and slammed the door back against the wall. “Wake up! It’s Christmas!”

“They forgot to knock,” Louisa said burying her face in the pillow, “Tell them to go back to bed until they remember.”

Her words came too late to stop the children who launched themselves into the room and clambered on the bed. Jenny landed on Jarrod’s stomach making him incapable of taking a deep breath anytime in the near future. Taking his face between her cold hands, she shook his cheeks roughly until his jowls jiggled. “Wake up, Daddy! It’s Christmas! An’ guess what? Guess what? We gotted our miracle!”

Nicky scrambled over Jarrod’s legs to his mother. Pressing his face against her pillow he shouted into her ear, “Are you waked up, Mama?”

“Nicky!” Making allowances because it was Christmas, she laughed instead of scolded and rolled over to grab him in a hug. “How could I sleep with you two making so much noise?”

Nicky shoved Daudra before her startled eyes, “Lookee! Daudra came home!”

“Daudra?” Louisa shoved the blankets and her son aside and sat up with her eyes fixed on a blue spotted pig she thought she’d never see again. Chortling with delight, Nicky wiggled the pig in front of her face and let Daudra do a pig jig along the top of the burgundy blankets.

Jenny giggled at Jarrod’s dubious expression. He moved her off his chest as he struggled to a sitting position with his back against the headboard. Reaching out to Nicky, he took the solid shape of Daudra’s sawdust body in his hand and looked her over. His eyes sought Jenny for an explanation. The lost was found and Jarrod had no doubts about who the finder was.

“See, Daddy, I told you we’d get a miracle.”

“Where did Daudra come from, Jenny?” Louisa asked quietly. Her blue eyes were grave as she stared at her smiling daughter. No doubts filled Louisa’s mind either. Jenny had played an elaborate, horrid joke on the entire family. Her daughter had lied to her repeatedly when she knew where Daudra was hidden all along. A sick, churning rolled her stomach when she thought of her daughter’s treachery. What kind of a Mother was SHE to have a child capable of such deceit?

“The nice man brought him, Mama,” Nicky answered for her. “Berry, berry nice man.”

Jenny nodded her agreement. “He called us sweet childrens an’ he had eyes same as you, Daddy.”

Jarrod glanced at his wife with a troubled frown and worry in his eyes. Handing Daudra back to his son, he asked, “What man, Jenny? Who was he? Where did he come from?”

“He never said,” Jenny explained matter of factly. If Jarrod hadn’t know better, he’d almost have believed her. Jenny sounded so sincere and didn’t hesitate with her explanation. It frightened him to know Jenny could be such an accomplished liar.

As if the whole Daudra episode was over and done, Jenny grabbed his hand and pumped it up and down with exuberance, “Daddy! Please can we go look in our stockings now? Can we, Mama?” She turned to her mother failing to notice her mother’s eyes swimming with tears or the trembling of her lips.

“Why you sad, Mama?” Nicky asked noticing from his perch on her blanketed knees. “Me happy, Daudra home.”

With a determined effort, Louisa forced her lips into a thin smile. Even as she struggled with her turmoil over Jenny, she knew what the return of Daudra meant to Nicky. He must not suffer this Christmas Day now that his precious piggy was cuddled in his arms. “I’m happy Daudra is home too. I’m so glad for you! And doesn’t Daudra look happy to be home with you!” She tickled him under the chin, tugged a stray curl off his forehead and said with a brightness she didn’t feel inside. “I have an idea. Why don’t you run down to the kitchen and show Mr. Silas Daudra is back. You can tell him to go ahead and put his yummy cinnamon rolls in the oven too. Would you do that?”

“Okay.” Nicky bounced off the bed, ran to the door then looked back with hesitation. One little bare foot stood on the other as he bit a corner of his lip. “Mama...”

Louisa gave a genuine laugh knowing her son’s thoughts. “We won’t open the stockings until you come back.”

“Okay!” Nicky smiled and ran off to tell his special friend about Daudra’s return.

“I hope he hurries,” Jenny complained threshing around a little, grumbling at the delay. “I wanna see what Santa brought for me. Maybe I got a new doll. An’ maybe Uncle Nick gave me some spurs. If he did, Mama, can I wear them at our house?”

Jarrod and Louisa exchanged troubled looks over Jenny’s head. Their eyes told one another they were in agreement. Jenny had hidden the pig and brought her out this morning, then concocted a tale about a nice man. Somehow she’d gotten Nicky to believe her story. It wouldn’t have been hard. Nicky hadn’t learned to tell the difference between Jenny’s truth or her fiction. He believed every word from her mouth as gospel.

“Jenny,” Jarrod faltered. It was Christmas morning! Why must he be faced with this now? His heart ached at having to question Jenny. Yet, he couldn’t let her get away with a deliberate deception that had left the whole family in turmoil for days, “Jenny, I want you to tell us the truth. There wasn’t any man, was there?”

“Yes, there was. He had your eyes and Uncle Heath’s smile an’ his hands felt like Uncle Nick. An’ he said...”

Louisa had all of the lies she could take. Her voice broke as she spoke harshly, “Stop lying, Jenny! There was no man! You hid your brothers pig and then gave it back to him. How could you do such a horrible thing?”

“There was a man,” Jenny repeated.

As if finally realizing her parents expressions were not Christmas morning happy but grave, Jenny’s been naughty faces, her lower lip began to quiver. Suddenly, she understood. Mama and Daddy think I took Daudra! They don’t believe me! She stared back at them with an unwavering look in her defiant eyes. “There was! He brought Daudra home cause of the miracle.”

“Tell us the truth, Jenny,” Jarrod repeated in a stern voice. “There was no man. No one could have gotten in this house last night. All the doors and windows were locked. And even if someone had found a way inside, why would a strange man bring Daudra to your bedroom? How would he know where you children slept? Why wouldn’t he knock on the door or leave Daudra outside until morning?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know.”

“What was his name? Tell us that?” Jarrod demanded.

Jenny lost some of her defiance and began to look frightened instead. “He didn’t tell me his name. He said Grammie would tell me today?”

“Then it was someone you knew?” Jarrod pressed feeling like a cad for causing Jenny’s eyes to fill and spill tears. He felt as if he were haranguing a witness on the stand, crushing out everything but the truth at all costs. “Someone you recognized?”

“No,” she whispered in quiet hiccuped sobs. “I don’t know.”

“We know,” Louisa told her daughter as she matched Jarrod’s tone of voice and forbidding face, “You hid Daudra and now you’re lying to protect yourself from being punished.”

“I’m not! I’m not!” Jenny’s tears were coursing down her face by now. “You’re saying I’m not immocent! And you promised, Daddy! You promised you would say I was immocent till you could prove I was...” Jenny wailed, overwhelmed with the evidence piling up against her, “I forgot the other word!”

“The word, Jennifer, is guilty. And there is very little doubt in my mind about your guilt. No one else could have taken the pig."

“How could you, Jenny?” Louisa’s tears almost matched Jenny’s in intensity. “You’ve done a horrible, naughty thing.”

“No, I didn’t,” Jenny denied. “A man brought Daudra back even if you don’t believe me! I’m immocent! You lied, Daddy, cause you promised! You promised I would be immocent!” Weeping, Jenny rolled over the side of the bed, her little feet thumped on the floor and she ran out of the room before either of her startled parents could stop her. Her final anguished words tore Jarrod’s heart in two, “You don’t believe me! Now I don’t love you with ANY of my heart!”

Part 9

Heavy hearted, Jarrod and Louisa began to dress for the day. Jarrod finished first. Giving the everyday routine half his attention, , he poured water into the washbowl and began to shave. As he lathered his face, his thoughts raced in circles–several condemning lines in particular. You promised her you’d assume she was innocent until you could prove her guilty. She’s right, you did lie. You jumped right in accusing her just like you did about the Silence in the courtroom. There could be some reasonable explanation for Daudra appearing today that has nothing at all to do with Jenny. Jarrod scraped the lather down his face with the straight edge of the razor while his lips twitched in a grin. Right! And if I believe that maybe I believe Nick would make a better lawyer than I would. He wanted to believe Jenny. Especially since those parting words, “I don’t love you with ANY of my heart!” kept thrusting a knife of pain through his heart each time they echoed in his mind. Imagining Jenny crying in her room when she should be giggling over her Christmas stocking, he felt worse. Jarrod Barkley, he told himself sternly, if you were being judged on your fathering today you wouldn’t even pass the course.

Louisa’s progress in getting dressed was hampered by having to sit on the edge of the bed to mop her rapidly falling tears. By the time she’d pulled on a deep green dress with gold braid trim, she didn’t have the heart to face buttoning it up the back. She plopped limply down and just sat watching Jarrod finish his shave while she plucked at the skirt with nervous fingers. She knew by Jarrod’s squared jaw and the aggrieved light in his eyes he was rehashing the sad beginning to this Christmas morning. Why would Jenny hide Daudra? How could she be so deceptive? What kind of Mother am I if I haven’t taught her better?

“What are we going to do?” She asked when Jarrod finally came to sit beside her.

Jarrod took time to do up her buttons before circling her waist with his arm and pulling her into a comforting embrace. “I don’t know.” He took a clean, white handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her face as gently if she were Jenny’s age. “I’ve been thinking...”

“Yes?”

“What if we jumped to the wrong conclusions? The evidence against Jenny is pretty much circumstantial. We can’t actually prove she hid the pig. If I presented this case to judge I’m not sure it would even hold up in court.”

“Jarrod!” Louisa pulled away with a huffy flounce. “What more proof do we need? Must we have seen her hide it to prove she’s guilty? The story she told about a strange man is ridiculous. You know as well as I how imaginative Jenny can be.”

Jarrod held up a hand to stop the flow of annoyed indignation from Louisa’s lips. When she’d quit sputtering, he began again, “What if....” Louisa opened her mouth to protest before he could start. Jarrod put a finger to her lips to shush her until he could have his say. “Let me finish. What if she did see someone? Oh, I don’t mean a stranger! What if she were half asleep and Nick or Heath brought Daudra back? She might have been confused.” Louisa gave him dubious frown but kept her mouth closed. “What if Silas let one of the hands in this morning and told them to take the pig upstairs? Maybe he thought Nicky would be surprised to find Daudra when he woke up?”

“I don’t know. It sounds awfully far fetched.”

“True. But we don’t really know if there is an explanation other than Jenny hiding Daudra. We didn’t even try to find out first.” Jarrod’s usual calm features wore a perplexed frown as he thought out one of the most worrisome aspects of Jenny’s guilt or innocence. “I’m wondering too...well, this business about the miracle. While I’d like to think both our children are brilliant, I hardly think Jenny is capable of tricking Heath into taking her to see Fr. Michel as a scheme to throw us off her trail. I admit her thought processes often baffle me but I can’t imagine Jenny having enough of the con artist to think out such a scheme. Do you think we might have...”

Louisa’s lips quivered between doubt and a smile. The Counselor did present an interesting case. An amused smile won. “Proved her guilty before she was immocent?”

“Yes,” he laughed. “I guess we did.”

“Even if she’s guilty you don’t want to punish her do you?” Louisa asked. She reached across the lap of her green skirt to place her warm hand over Jarrod’s; her blue eyes met his in complete understanding. “You want to make excuses for her. It hurt having her tell you she didn’t love you didn’t it?”

“More than I’d care to admit.” He clasped his other hand over hers and began to trace her wedding ring with his thumb. Staring at the boots he should have polished yesterday, he voiced an idea he wasn’t certain his wife would agree to. Louisa sometimes had an immovable opinion when it came to raising their children. “What would you say to telling Jenny we believe her...”

“We couldn’t lie!”

“I didn’t plan to do that. But we could tell her we believe she’s innocent until we can prove she’s guilty. It will give us time to ask the family, see if there is another explanation. And another thing...”

Louisa’s blue eyes twinkled although she appeared to give the matter serious thought while she answered with some hesitation. “It is Christmas. It would be a shame to spoil the day for your mother or brothers or Audra. Or Nicky. He’s so happy to have Daudra back.”

“Exactly!”

“We might have been a little hasty in judgement, judging her too harshly...”

“We might,” Jarrod agreed. “And we wouldn’t want Jenny’s Christmas spoiled either. She’s just a little girl. If she did hide that blasted pig at least she had sense enough to return it.”

Giving him a little shove on the arm, Louisa stood up with a brighter outlook. “Go work your Barkley charm and get her to stop crying.” Louisa walked to the bureau, picked up her hairbrush and began to brush her long, dark hair. “You’d better hurry though, “ she teased, “or Nicky and I will beat you to the stockings.”


Jarrod’s “Barkley charm” took awhile to coax his daughter from her tears. His broken promise had crushed her. Promises were sacred to Jenny. He and Louisa had done such a good job of teaching their daughter the seriousness of giving her word, she regarded a broken promise as worse than any other crime.

Jenny lay curled in a heap of misery on her bed refusing to let him touch her. It took quite awhile before his soothing words penetrated Jenny’s stubborn refusal to listen. Jarrod talked and persuaded and coaxed until Jenny understood his meaning. She was “immocent” until they could prove her guilty. If we ever do. Jarrod kept his thoughts to himself, Daudra’s disappearance might be an unsolved mystery forever. Unless Jenny’s conscience begins to bother her and she confesses.

“I’m immocent!” Jenny finally lifted a red, tear streaked face toward him. “An’ you won’t ever find me guiltimee.”

Once he’d gotten her to face him, Jarrod’s job was easier. He knew how to win over the most hardened of jury hearts by his facial expressions. Winning over a daughter, who halfway wanted to believe him anyway, took less time. When he’d gotten her to the sniffling stage, he carefully wet a cloth in her washbowl and wiped her face clean. After that it was a simple matter of using smiles and tickles to find her Christmas joy again. By the time Louisa came to help her dress, Jenny was all giggles and wiggling impatience to dig into her stocking. Jarrod wasn’t sure how much of her heart, if any, she loved him with but apparently they were forgiven.

Daudra’s reappearance around the Christmas tree that morning was met with shouts, laughter and a round of unanswerable questions. Jarrod found time to whisper an explanation and ask a question or two while the excited, chattering children sat on the floor with their overflowing stockings. In frustration, he realized no one knew any more than he did about Daudra’s homecoming. It began to look as if proving Jenny’s guilt might not be so difficult after all.

Silas too, while thrilled for “lil Mr. Nicky,” had let no one in the house or knew of anyone who might have visited the children’s room. When Louisa gave Jarrod a quizzical lift of her eyebrows after he’d spoken to Silas, he had to return her question with a sad shake. Later, as Nick began to pass out the gifts under the tree and the merry ripping of paper and exclamations of delight filled the parlor, Jarrod leaned over to whisper in his wife’s ear, “Let’s try to forget it and enjoy the moment.”

Enjoying the moment took some of the edge off their troubled thoughts. Silas passed around coffee and cinnamon rolls. Gifts were passed, opened and givers thanked or hugged. Jenny and Nicky were like quicksilver, here, there and everywhere. Jenny insisted on wearing her new spurs, specially ordered by Uncle Nick, and managed to jab Jarrod in the leg four times before he figured out a way to hold her on his lap without getting gouged.

Audra had spent hours carefully sewing Nicky a stuffed horse with a real horsehair mane and tale. Nicky took one anguished look at the horse and laid it carefully back into the box. Prompted by his mother he finally managed a whispered “thank you” and a limp hug but much to his Aunt’s distress he covered the horse with tissue paper and refused to look at it again.

Audra’s feelings were a little bruised by the rejection of her gift. While Jenny was the horse lover in the family, she had thought Nicky would enjoy another little Daudra sized animal. It wasn’t until a few minutes later, trying to unearth her mother’s special gift from under the tree, she overheard Nicky whisper to Daudra, “Don’t worry, I will awways love you best” and understood. Apparently, Daudra had some of the green eyed monster in her sawdust brain.

“Mother,” Audra came to sit gracefully on the arm of Victoria’s blue brocade chair as she handed her a small, square package done up in tissue paper and red ribbon. “This is something special I had made for you.” As Victoria smiled in anticipation and began to tug off the ribbon, Audra explained in a hurry, eager to see her mother’s look of joy as she pulled off the tissue paper. “Remember Father’s old friend, Margaret Whitcomb? She sent me a gift with her last letter–a small photograph of Father as a young man. I took it to Miss Magellen in town and had her do it up in oils for you.”

Victoria pulled the last bit of tissue paper off the package. “Oh, Audra...” Tears filled her eyes and her voice got husky as she looked at Tom as she’d first known him. So many memories flooded her mind she couldn’t speak. Blinking rapidly, she tried to control her emotions but couldn’t. Audra reached out to hug her mother around the shoulders. It was all Victoria needed to bring her back to the present, Tom’s children and grandchildren and how much she had to be thankful for this Christmas day.

“Let’s see, Mother,” Louisa spoke up.

Holding the small painting by the edges of the gilt frame, Victoria turned it so the others in the room could see the likeness of Tom.

Jarrod and Nick could recognize their father in the painting having seen him as an older version through most of their lives. Louisa had never met Tom so she looked with interest on the face of her father in law. Heath, after one startled glance, stood up and began to wad up tissue paper in an empty box. No one dared trample on what might be unsettling emotions by asking him what was wrong. Everyone pretended not to notice until Nicky, perched on Louisa’s lap, gave the painting a cursory glance.

“Look, Sissy!” Nicky gave a garbled shout around a candy cane stuck in his mouth, “Der’s the man who bringed Daudra back.”

Part 10

“Look, Sissy!” Nicky gave a garbled shout around a candy cane stuck in his mouth, “Der’s the man who bringed Daudra back.”

“No, Nicky,” Louisa corrected him in a gentle voice as she pulled him into a tight hug, “he couldn’t have been the man you saw.” If you saw anyone.

Nicky contradicted, “Yes, huh! Sissy, look at Gwammie’s pitcher,” he insisted of Jenny who had no interest in a painting when her stocking still held so many enticing bumps and bulges to explore.

Exasperated at the interruption, Jenny looked up gouging Jarrod’s leg yet again with her spurs and said as if it were the most normal thing in the world. “Yeah, that’s him.” She turned around on Jarrod’s lap to face him with a miffed expression, “See, Daddy, I told you there was a man. I told you I was immocent! “

For a shocked second no one knew how to answer. No one believed it had been Tom but they were at a loss to explain how the children could have mistaken anyone else for him.

“No, Jenny, you must be mistaken, “ Louisa attempted but stopped when Nicky twisted in her lap to look into her eyes. Worry puckered his forehead and he bit the edge of his lip as he often did when he didn’t understand.

“Why not, Mama? Who is he?”

“Grammie?” Jenny broke in before Louisa could answer. “The man said you would tell us his name.”

Victoria laid the picture carefully on the marble topped table next to her chair, her fingers trailed lightly across the painted lips she’d known so well in life. Smiling she told Jenny, “This is your grandfather, darling. His name was Tom. Remember when you asked me about the picture in the study?” Jenny nodded. “This is how he looked when he was a very young man.”

“Oh,” Jenny said, seeming not to notice the disquiet of the adults staring at her. Jenny saw nothing strange about her dead grandfather paying a nighttime visit to return Nicky’s pig. A giggle erupted from her candy sticky mouth. As if she had just remembered, she stated matter of factly, “He had hands like you, Uncle Nick.”

“Did he?” Nick’s voice came out strangled. Father did often have calloused hands like mine. When I was a little boy he use to tease me and say he’d know I’d done a man’s work when my hands were as rough and scratchy as his. But Jenny wouldn’t know that. Would she?

“Uh, huh, an eyes like Daddy and a smile like Uncle Heaf,” Nicky remembered. “He was nice man.”

Victoria stiffened in her chair. Reaching up to Audra’s steadying hand on her shoulder, she gave her daughter a pat while she blinked away quick tears. Her throat ached suddenly with an intense desire to cry. Tom? Did you come? Heath’s smile has always reminded me of yours–full of shy uncertainty but with a strength too. It would be like you to return Nicky’s pig, knowing how much it meant to him.

Louisa shifted Nicky in her lap and sent a worried glance to Jarrod over Nicky’s head. Her blue eyes beseeched him to find the right way to tell their children Tom hadn’t paid them a visit.

“You couldn’t have seen your grandfather last night, children,” Jarrod decided to bite the bullet and say it straight out. “You see, he couldn’t have brought Daudra home .” So much for saying it straight out. Jenny and Nicky’s blue eyes were on him, waiting for an explanation. Clearly confused by the adult’s refusal to answer a simple question.

“Why not, Daddy?”

“He died,” Heath stated so bluntly Louisa winced. He turned from where he’d been standing with one hand up on the mantle of the fireplace and looked into Jenny’s questioning eyes. “He died an’ dead people don’t come back to earth.” No, they don’t come back to earth. But that face...I saw that face...

Heath’s truth didn’t faze Jenny or Nicky. Jenny stared back at him as if he were the dumbest mortal alive before giving him a smug smile of satisfaction. “Course they can, Uncle Heath, if it’s a miracle. I prayed hard as I knowed how. I paid three whole pennies too so I guess God told Grandpa he could bring Daudra home just like I asked.”

“Jenny,” Louisa started but faltered for the right words. What could you say to a child who believed so firmly?
Jenny had inherited the Barkley hard headed stubbornness. It practically took an earthquake to change her opinions. How could they convince Jenny that while miracles did exist, her three pennies hadn’t brought Tom Barkley home. Louisa took the coward’s way out, “Jarrod, explain it to her...”

Jarrod gave her a thanks-a-lot frown but struggled bravely with an explanation. “Jenny, we all believe in miracles...but...it’s impossible...”

“Don’t you believe me, Daddy?” Jenny’s blue eyes plead for his understanding. “After you promised again I would be immocent....”

Not that again! If we go through the innocent until proven guilty conversation again, I’m sure to lose another round...
“I...well..Daddy would like to believe you...”

Nicky jumped off Louisa’s lap. He ran over to Jenny and Jarrod on the settee and began to tug on the arm of Jenny’s green velvet dress. Hopping from one foot to another, his voice rose in almost a squeal, “Sissy! Sissy! The tars! The tars! Member what the man told us to tell Pappy so he’d believe?”

This time Jarrod moved his leg quickly enough to avoid another mortal injury to his shin. Mother’s brocade settee didn’t fare as well. Just you wait, Nick, until I think up some revenge good enough to pay you back for putting spurs on my daughter!

Wiggling off Jarrod’s lap, brown curls bouncing across her shoulders, Jenny stood in the middle of the family circle. “The man told us to tell you something, Daddy. He said he use to say it to his childrens. Cept, I can’t remember it all,” Jenny’s smile dimmed then burst out again, dimples showing, “but I know the starting part!”

“Tell us, Jenny,” Victoria spoke softly. “What did the man say?”

Jenny placed her feet firmly in line, heels almost together. Her spurs made a perfect speaker’s alignment impossible. Tugging down the skirt of her dress, she clasped her hands tightly in front of her waist as she’d been taught to do while reciting and gave her head a proud toss. Jenny loved to ‘show off’ and she’d learned to ‘speak a piece’ to entertain guests almost as soon as she could talk. Her voice spoke out clear and true, “If every star on Christmas Eve...”

“Could make a wish come true..” Nicky stole her thunder by racing ahead to the next words. He ignored Jenny’s frown and jumped in a circle proud to have remembered. “That’s the nextest part!”

“Nicky! Now you made me forget the rest!”

Staring in amazement at his children, Jarrod realized suddenly all the words were THERE again. His father’s poem, as fine and true as it had always been, engraved on his mind and heart. It didn’t matter if Jenny had forgotten, he knew the words as surely as if Tom Barkley were standing beside his bed reciting them. Just as he had on countless Christmas Eve’s until Jarrod’s cruel remarks had quieted him.

Jarrod looked in awed wonder at Nick and Audra and his mother as they all realized the impact of Jenny and Nicky’s words. They knew, with a knowing they didn’t need to speak, Jenny had indeed been granted her miracle. A miracle that encompassed them all. Tom Barkley had brought Daudra home and spoken words they all knew by heart.

Suddenly, tears burning in his eyes, Jarrod whispered the words he thought he’d forgotten.

“If every star on Christmas Eve
could make a wish come true,
I’d send a wish to every star
so you’d know my love for you.”

On the last word, he realized he and Nick and Audra had all spoken the words in unison. And surprisingly another voice had spoken the words. A voice other than Jenny and Nicky that had never heard the poem before. Audra stared at Heath with her mouth slightly open. How could Heath know father’s poem? We have never spoken of it because we didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
And the children–we’ve never spoken of it to the children. How did they know...unless father...could he have come? I was so small when he stopped saying it, even I didn’t remember all the words. Until just now...

“Heath?” Jarrod asked. “How did you know?”

Heath hesitated almost as if he were afraid of revealing too much emotion.. His voice hadn’t faltered on a single word yet now he couldn’t speak. It was only when Victoria, tears shining in her bright eyes, urged him gently, “Won’t you tell us, Heath,” that he turned to face them with a timid smile, Tom’s smile.

“I thought....I thought I dreamed it. Last night....” Heath turned to face the fireplace, took a deep breath and spun around to face the wondering faces of his family. “A man...him..” he gave a brief nod to the painting, “came to my room. He kept saying that poem over and over and then he said...”

Nick’s voice was gruff, either husky with tears or another emotion he was too embarrassed to acknowledge. “What?”

“He said, I love you, Son.”

No one dared break the silence that followed .. Somehow, everyone one in the room felt a warm glow, an awareness they’d all been touched by something miraculous. There was no question in anyone’s mind about Jenny’s mysterious visitor. For some reason, only God alone knew, they’d been allowed a rare gift.

Jarrod swallowed around a tightness in his throat. It didn’t matter now that as a know-it-all fifteen year old, he’d sneered at his father’s love. He knew now the true depth of his father’s love for him, a love so enduring neither time nor space nor death could diminish it. Looking around at his family-- Heath struggling to understand the why of it, Nick coughing and rubbing at his eyes to cover the emotion he felt while Mother and Audra let silent tears of joy course down their cheeks, Jarrod could see they were all touched as he was. Thank you, father. You’ve given us a gift none of us deserves.

Nicky’s quiet question brought them all back to the here and now. “Pappy? Will we eber see the Granpa man again?”

“Perhaps in Heaven,” Louisa answered quietly, wiping tears from her eyes. She looked at Jenny , her precious and immocent, gift. Have I ever really given thanks for such a wonderful, little girl? She told the truth and I didn’t believe her. From now on I’m going to try to understand her better....

“Guess you better like peas then, Nicky,” Jenny shattered the reverent mood with her practical though startling announcement, “You gotta eat peas if you want to get to heaven.”

Jarrod laughed along with everyone else in the room. Looking at Jenny, pouting because she didn’t like to be laughed at, he asked , “Where on earth did you get that idea?”

“From Mama,” Jenny answered sulkily, “She always sings that song, sleep in heaven, eat peas.”

“Sleep in Heaven...” Louisa chortled at the confused expression on Jenny’s face. “What on earth?”

It was only after they’d coaxed her to sing the song, Louisa understood. Silent Night...”sleep in heavenly peace.” It was all she could do not to burst into hysterical laughter at her grumpy little girl. Everyone else appeared to have the same problem of hiding their twitching lips and the shaking of their stomachs from holding in the laughs. Trust Jenny to put the miracle firmly back into an everyday occurrence.

Victoria smoothed it over as the rest of the family tried to quiet their chuckles, “Jenny is right! None of you will get into heaven unless you eat all your peas! And speaking of food...isn’t it about time we got dinner on the table?”

The rest of Christmas Day passed with dinner, laughter, the company of dear friends and later a small party at the orphanage. Daudra’s unique homecoming was never far from anyone’s mind or heart, unless it was the two children who took it for granted. As they rode home from the orphanage while the moon rose over the valley, Jenny sighed sleepily in Jarrod’s arms.

“Daddy? Fr. Michel said we really got a miracle last night.”

“I believe he’s right.”

Jenny was quiet for so long he thought she had fallen asleep. It had been a long day and she’d been dozing off and on most of the way home. “Daddy, I been thinking. If we gotted a miracle then it was for Nicky wasn’t it?”

“Yes, I guess you could call it Nicky’s miracle.”

“Then Daddy,” Jenny told him as if she’d given it an enormous amount of thought, “I think Nicky should have to give me my three pennies back. Uncle Nick says peoples should always pay their own debts. I think Nicky should pay for his own miracle.”

Jarrod hid his smile by kissing the top of her soft, though tangled, curls. “Jenny, sometimes your thought processes amaze me.”

“Does that mean I get my money back?”

Not long after, the surrey stopped in front of the mansion and there was Silas, holding the door open for their return. Jarrod carried Jenny up the stairs to the nursery. Louisa scurried before him to turn down the children’s beds while Nick followed slowly behind with Nicky. Once the children were undressed and tucked in, Jarrod blew out the lamp. He stood in the doorway a second after Louisa had kissed her sleeping babies and gone to turn down their own bed. Maybe a second too long....

Out of the dark and quiet, a sleepy little voice murmured, “Pappy? Where’s Daudra?”

THE END