Valley Fever

by MagdalenMary495

It isn’t like a fever
that cools and goes away
but more like an obsession
that demands to have it’s way.

To identify the symptoms
you don’t need a PhD
just a little working knowledge
of initials B and V.

You don’t need a diagnosis
to label what is wrong,
if you know handsome Jarrod
is really Richard Long.

If you can name the women
Nick has won and lost
a prescription isn’t needed
or budgeting it’s cost.

If you call yourself a Heathen
without a bit of shame
you’ll surely know this malady
has an undocumented name.

You might call it Valley fever
or a harmless little game.
You might say that it’s contagious
and search for whom to blame.

It really is quite simple-
if you know where to start
to medicate these symptoms say,
“a cowboy stole my heart.”

To take the proper medicine
your choice is one of three
you take Nick or Heath
but leave Jarrod just for me.

There really is no known cure
we’re addicted can’t you see,
to the valley’s flickering images
we watch on our tv’s.

Could it be called a phobia,
an irrational, senseless fear
that we’d have to live without
the show we’ve loved for years?

There’s no way we can fight it.
Who would want to try?
Take away The Big Valley
and we’d all just have to cry.

So if your thoughts keep drifting
to the valley’s gorgeous lads,
then you have a most severe case
and have it pretty bad..

Admit you have the ailment.
Find the treatment voted best-
take a dose of darling Jarrod
and keep on heading West!

~