Rising Waters

by Marci S.

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Jarrod was so engrossed in the book he was reading, he jumped when the front door slammed shut.

“Nick, is that you?” It was a rhetorical question that went unanswered. Only Nick could make an entrance like that. Jarrod hurried out of the study. Eyes wide he stared at his brother.

“What happened to you?” Nick was covered from head to toe in mud, with the exception of his eyes that bored through Jarrod. Much to Nick’s chagrin his older brother started laughing.

“Just keep laughing.” Nick spun around and headed straight to the bar, quickly downing a drink. “Have you ever tried to get a horse out of mud?” Nick threw his arms up. “Let me tell you.” He neared Jarrod, his finger pointing. “Push and pull. Push and pull. Every muscle in my body aches.” With an exaggerated sigh Nick tried to sit but Jarrod stopped him.

“Mother will kill you if you get mud on her sofa.” Jarrod removed his hands, staring at the mud that now covered them. Nick smiled; his white teeth contrasting the dark mud around them.

“Sure those hands of yours can take some dirt?” Shaking his head Jarrod walked off, returning a few minutes later with a couple of towels. He tossed one at Nick and used the other to wipe his hands.

“Nick, you need a vacation.”

“What?” Nick removed the towel from his face and stared at his brother.

“You need a vacation,” Jarrod repeated, knowing darn well that Nick heard him the first time. “Nick, I need to go to San Francisco for a few days and I thought you and Heath might like to come along.”

“What for?” Nick didn’t seem to notice he was shaking mud on the tan colored rug. Jarrod did and could only imagine how their mother would react when she came home.

“Heath’s never been there and I thought you could show him around while I’m in the meetings. Come one Nick, when’s the last time you’ve been away from this place?”

“Don’t know.” Nick grabbed the towel Jarrod was holding and used it to wipe his hair.

“Jarrod, maybe next time. I have a ranch to run and this is our busy season.”

“Nick, you have men who can run the ranch.” Jarrod countered. “It will only be for a week. Besides, I’ve already bought the tickets.”

“Tickets for what?” Neither heard Heath enter. Jarrod wasn’t surprised to see him also covered with mud.

“Seems we’re going to San Francisco” Nick said.

“Really?” Heath grinned. “Who’s going to run the ranch?”

Jarrod sighed. “He’s even starting to sound like you. We leave in two days,” Jarrod informed them, and then headed back to his study to prepare himself for the upcoming meetings.

“Why are we doing this?” Heath asked.

“He says we need a vacation,” Nick answered.

“Do we?”

“Beats me.” Nick dug in his pocket until he found a coin. “I’ll flip you for the bath tub.”

“Heads” Heath called out as Nick threw the coin up.

“Tails” Nick said, and then stuffed the coin back in his pocket. “I’ll leave you some hot water.” Nick quickly climbed the stairs before Heath could protest the results.

----  

The train was half empty when it left Stockton Saturday morning and Jarrod was grateful for that. He always enjoyed the train ride but Nick was not fond of them and this time was no different. He spent most of the morning pacing the aisle occasionally sitting in whatever empty seat he fancied. Right now he was seated next to Heath, sleeping fretfully as he tried to get comfortable. Jarrod lowered the book he was reading and stared at his brothers. Heath was also reading and didn’t notice that he was being watched. His brothers were as different as night and day, yet in the six short months Heath had been there, they had developed a close bond and at times Jarrod felt left out. Jarrod did his best not to let his feelings known and hoped this trip would bring him closer to his brothers. Nick leaned a little too close to Heath and woke up when his brother pushed him away.

“These seats are too small” Nick complained as he leaned against the window. He saw Jarrod smiling and glared at his brother.

“What are you smiling at?”

Jarrod ignored the tone as the smile left his face. “We’ll be there soon Nick.”

“Not soon enough” Nick said as he lowered his hat and tried to go back to sleep.

“I don’t think the train is so bad,” Heath said as he watched Jarrod stare at Nick. This was his first time on a train and he didn’t like it, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as Nick made it out to be. But he, like Jarrod, enjoyed reading and there wasn’t much time to do that on the ranch.

“Thanks Heath.” Jarrod gave him a grateful smile.

“I can’t wait to see San Francisco” Heath added. “Nick keeps talking about these places he’s going to take me to; the best food and wine and pretty women.” Jarrod nodded, he knew the places well. Jarrod had taken Nick to them when the family had come to visit him.

“I hope I can join you” Jarrod quietly remarked.

“Of course” Heath spit out. “You’ll need to keep us out of trouble. At least that’s what Nick said.” Heath smiled but seemed confused when Jarrod didn’t.

“Jarrod, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head.

“This trip was awfully sudden. Jarrod is there something you’re not telling us?”

“No.” Jarrod picked up his book. Heath wanted to pursue the subject but Jarrod made it clear he didn’t. Heath decided he was tired and settled back in his chair, hoping to get some rest before they arrived.

---  
Nick was wide-awake. Heath wasn’t. It was one in the morning and Heath wanted to go to bed. Jarrod had already escaped to the hotel but Nick kept Heath there, feeding him money to keep him gambling. Heath was out of money again and he eyed Nick across the room. Heath had enough and decided he was going to bed. First, he would tell Nick and headed that way. The saloon was still crowded and Heath bumped into someone.

“Sorry.” For a split second Heath thought he recognized the man. He turned to get another glimpse but the man was gone, somewhere amid the crowd. Shaking his head Heath approached his brother.

“Nick, let’s call it a night.”

“No way.” Nick took the cigar out of his mouth. “Lady luck is on my side.” He tossed the die and won again. “Heath, I’ll give you more money.”

“No!” Heath refused. “Nick, I’ve had it. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Suit yourself.” Nick returned his attention back to the game. With an exaggerated sigh Heath glanced around the room once again, still wondering whom he had bumped into. Figuring it was pointless, Heath headed for the exit.

---  

He watched Heath leave and for a moment thought about following. But the bastard son wasn’t who he wanted. He turned his attention back to the dark hair brother. Nick Barkley. Kenny was shocked when the Barkleys had walked into the restaurant he worked at. As he finished his shift Kenny thought of some way to get back at them, at all the rich people he hated. It had been six long months since his parents kicked him out, ashamed that he had shot such a prominent member of Stockton. They didn’t understand, they didn’t blame people like the Barkleys for the death of Robert, but Kenny did. He blamed all of them and someone was going to pay. That night as Kenny cleared the tables, he couldn’t keep his mind off of the Barkleys. Without realizing it a plan formed in his mind, a watery death for the death of his brother. It seemed so simple, so perfect. Choosing the right Barkley had been easy too. He never had many dealings with Jarrod, but the oldest had always been cordial to him when they did run into each other. As much as he liked to tease Heath, he really couldn’t blame him for his parentage and in a way he reminded Kenny of his brother. Both were blonde and Robert would be around the same age if he were still alive. Nick! Kenny’s blood boiled just thinking about him. He was loud and demanding and it had to be his way or else. Just like those who had sent Robert to his death.

Kenny leaned back in his chair, watched and waited. Nick was drinking heavily and Kenny knew that would make it easier. He didn’t have to wait too much longer before Nick’s luck turned and he decided to leave. Nick staggered out of the saloon and Kenny followed, grateful that no one seemed to notice. The hotel was just up the road and Kenny had to find the right spot. He knew it when he saw it, the alley. He rushed up behind his target knowing that Nick was too drunk to realize he was being followed. Kenny took out his gun and with all the power he could muster he hit Nick on the head, knocking him unconscious. Looking around Kenny made sure that no one saw what had happened and in the still of the night, he started dragging the body away.

----

The first thought that came to Nick’s mind as he awakened was how much his head hurt. The second was he couldn’t see.

“Where am I?” He stood and then realized one arm was tied down. He felt the chain and tried to yank his arm free. “Ouch.” It wouldn’t budge, no matter how much he pulled.

“You can’t free yourself.” Suddenly a light appeared and Nick squinted as he tried to make out the figure before him.

“Who are you?” As his eyes adjusted, they widened with recognition. “Watkins!” It was someone Nick hoped he would never see again. “What kind of game are you playing? Free me now!”

“Nick Barkley.” Kenny whistled calmly. “So demanding, even when you’re my prisoner.”

“Prisoner?” Nick spit that word out. “You’re a dead man when I get out of here.”

This time Kenny laughed, heartily. “No Nick. You’ll be the dead man when you get out of here.” He laughed some more. Nick looked around but couldn’t make out where he was. There was a shackle around his wrist, similar to one used in jails, but he couldn’t tell what it was chained down to.

“Where am I?” Nick asked, pulling on the chain.

“You’re in an abandoned mine” Kenny told him. “But it’s a special mine” he added, smirking. “You see, when the tide comes in, this place fills up with water. Sometimes fast, sometime slow. So you may have a day to live or possibly a week. Either way you will eventually drown.”

“Watkins, you’re crazy. Let me out of here.” Nick continued to pull, while Kenny stood and watched; shaking his head at the futile attempt Nick made to escape. Nick stopped struggling, his breathing loud and raspy. Finally he looked up at his captor.

“Why are you doing this?” With his free hand Nick wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“Why!” Kenny let that word hang in the air as he took a few steps closer. “Because I hate you. I hate everything you represent. And someone needs to pay for what happened to my brother.”

“Your brother?” Nick was confused. As long as he knew the Watkins family, there had only been one child. “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

“I did” Kenny spit out. “He drowned in this mine when he was sixteen years old. And they knew. Those rich bastards sent them to the mine knowing it floods.” Kenny shivered as if those memories happened yesterday. “You wanna know their excuse?” He didn’t wait for Nick to answer. “It shouldn’t have filled up so fast. They thought they could get a day’s work in before the water was deep enough to matter. It’s all about money.” Kenny ran his hands through his curly hair as an unmistakable sob escaped from him. “I was ten years old when they came to tell us and even at that age I knew they were to blame. But finally someone is going to pay. You Nick Barkley will pay for my brother’s death.” He pointed his finger at Nick.

“Kenny I’m sorry but…”

“Don’t.” Kenny said as he quickly raised his gun. “I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your excuses. It’s quite simple. You’re going to die because my brother died and I’m going to enjoy watching your brothers suffer, just as I did.” Kenny motioned around the mine. “It’s probably better if you’re in the dark. You don’t want to see what’s around here. Besides the water will cover it up soon enough. I left you some food and water in case you don’t die the first night.” He walked away and Nick heard the sound of footsteps sloshing in water, realizing that there was already a layer of water on the ground.

“Damn” he muttered and started pulling on the chain again.

---

Heath yawned as he slowly descended the stairs. They had agreed to meet Jarrod at seven for breakfast and Heath had overslept. He saw his oldest brother and staggered over to the table. Jarrod saw Heath approach and lowered his cup of coffee.

“Where’s Nick?”

Heath shrugged. “He wasn’t in the room when I woke up. I thought he’d be here with you.” Heath sat, placing his elbows on the table. “He can’t still be gambling can he?”

“I doubt it” Jarrod stated as he glanced around the room. “What happened after I left last night?”

“I lost all my money and some of Nick’s money and then went to bed. Nick was getting lucky so he stayed and gambled some more.” Heath smiled at the waitress who placed a cup of coffee in front of him. “Maybe he met somebody,” Heath mumbled with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“Maybe.” Jarrod frowned. “But I think he would have still made it here for breakfast.” Jarrod glanced at his watch. “Heath, I’m sorry but I have to go. Are you going to be ok until Nick shows up?”

“Sure.” Heath smiled. “I’ll keep myself out of trouble.” Jarrod nodded as he stood up to leave. He had a bad feeling in his stomach but convinced himself that Nick was fine and would show up soon. With a quick wave of his hand Jarrod rushed out of the hotel. Heath motioned the waitress over so he could order breakfast. He too was feeling uneasy but it didn’t have to do with Nick. He knew that man last night and it was driving him crazy that he couldn’t put a name to the face. He was still thinking about that when his breakfast was ready. For a few minutes Heath pushed those thoughts out of his mind and ate a peaceful meal.

----  

The mineshaft seemed a bit lighter so Nick figured it had to be morning. He had no idea how many hours he had been in there or how long he had pulled on the chain. He took a few minutes to rest and studied his surroundings. Nick had been in enough mines to know this one hadn’t been worked in years and there was no chance someone would just happen upon him. His brothers would know he was missing but this would be the last place they would check.

Nick sighed. “You’re on your own” he whispered and then eyed the food left for him. It killed him to eat anything Watkins left but he needed his strength to get free. Nick ate a piece of bread and took a couple sips of water. He noticed he was sitting on some kind of built in ledge but he still couldn’t tell what the chain was attached too. Nick heard movement to his right and quickly glanced that way; his eyes widened when he saw a huge rat walking on a wooden beam overhead.

“Better get out while you can” Nick said. But the rat didn’t move. He sat there and stared at Nick, occasionally twitching its nose. Against his better judgment Nick took a piece of bread and tossed it at the rat. He missed but the rodent saw where it went and scampered down and found the tasty morsel. Nick watched it for a few minutes and then went back to the chain that held him. The water remained at the same level, and Nick was grateful for that. He stood up and started pulling, groaning in the process.

“Damn it” Nick bellowed, scaring the rat away. After a futile thirty minutes, he gave up and sat down heavily. “Come on Pappy, you know I’m in trouble. Help me out here.” Breathing hard, Nick closed his eyes and allowed himself a few minutes to rest.

----  

Heath sat up in bed as the name finally came to him. Kenny Watkins! Heath couldn’t believe he would forget the man who made his first few weeks as a Barkley hell. Jumping out of bed Heath quickly put his pants on and ran out of the room.

“Jarrod!” Heath banged on his brother’s door. The door opened so quickly Heath knew his brother hadn’t been sleeping.

“Heath, what is it?” Jarrod moved out of the way as Heath rushed in.

“Watkins. That’s who I saw last night. Jarrod, he has to have Nick.”

“Heath, are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Heath nodded. “How could I not know him? I swear I would have stayed with Nick.”

“Heath, calm down.” Jarrod gently placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders. “At least we have somewhere to start. Let’s go to the sheriff’s office and see what we can find out about Watkins.” Heath pulled free.

“Why’d he take Nick? It’s me he hated. Jarrod I’m sorry.”

“Heath, stop it.” Jarrod’s voice rose with anger. “Don’t forget it was my idea to come out here. But blaming ourselves isn’t going to help Nick. Now come on.” Jarrod grabbed Heath’s arm and pulled him out of the room.

----  

Nick didn’t know if it was day or night. He wasn’t sure how many days he had been trapped. His wrist was bleeding but he no longer felt any pain. He looked down at the water that was now knee high and slowly rising. The food was gone and only a few drops of water remained.

“Bob, I don’t suppose you can free me.” The rat had returned and at some point Nick had decided to name it. He stood and stretched, feeling the fatigue in his arms and legs. He felt too weak to stand for long and slowly sank down. Nick started whistling, a tune his father had taught him as a child.

“Father!” Nick looked upward. “I think you’re the only one who can help me.” Nick sighed loudly as he imagined how it would feel to drown. Or how his family would react to finding his body. But there wouldn’t be a body because no one would ever figure out where he was. Then it dawned on him and he eyed the rodent above.

“You’re waiting for me to die, aren’t you? Gonna bring your friends here and have a party.” Nick didn’t want to think about what they could do to his body. Doesn’t matter he thought; he’d be dead and wouldn’t feel it.

“I’m not giving up” he informed Bob and then stood up. The chain was rather long and he took a few steps in the water. There had to be something that could break the chain. He reached under the water, searching for anything that would possibly help. He kicked something and felt down with his hand. Nick picked the object up, dropping it immediately when he saw what it was.

“It had to be an animal.” He kept repeating that over and over, not wanting to think that other poor souls were left in this mine for eternity. Nick sat back down and calmly took a couple of breaths.

“Jarrod!” Nick yelled as loud as he could. “Jarrod, please find me” he added much quieter.

----  

Heath was angry and tried to pace that anger off. For two days they had watched the boarding house that Watkins had a room in and so far he had not returned. Nick had now been missing for three days and Heath was losing hope that they would find him alive. Jarrod was content to wait until Watkins showed up.

“Jarrod, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We need to go look for Nick.” Jarrod was seated on the bench and he calmly looked up at his brother.

“Heath, where do you want to look?” Heath detected the sarcastic tone but let it slide. He knew how worried Jarrod was but he felt there was more they could do. But he also had no answer to Jarrod’s question.

“I don’t know. I just can’t stand here anymore.”

“Fine. Go and get us some water to drink.” It was a hot day and the sun was beating down on them. Jarrod saw the look that Heath gave him and silently took a deep breath. He knew how Heath felt but Jarrod felt just as strongly that this was the only chance that Nick had. Watkins was the only one who could lead them to Nick and Jarrod was not about to let his impatient brother break his resolve.

“Heath, there is something you can do. Go back to the restaurant and see if there are any employees we haven’t talked to. Maybe someone knows where Watkins likes to go in his free time. OK?” Heath slightly nodded.

“Please bring some water back with you.” After another nod Heath walked away.

“Nick, where are you?” Jarrod quietly asked, his gaze upward. He was never one to rely on prayer but at that moment Jarrod didn’t know what else to do. Silently he said a prayer and then briefly closed his eyes.

“Nick, we’re going to find you.” Jarrod whispered as he opened his eyes and went back to watching the house.

----

Nick was no longer alone. At some point his family had shown up, first Mother and Audra, then Jarrod and finally Heath. He knew they were not real, but he could see them and took comfort in their presence. He longed to hear a voice or feel a touch to his shoulder but knew that wouldn’t happen. Nick no longer fought the chain. He hadn’t given up but he didn’t have the energy and knew he would soon need the strength to stand; the water had continued to rise and was now up to his neck when seated. Nick couldn’t feel his feet and occasionally he would stomp them to make sure they were still there. His hands were numb and his lips so dry they were cracked and bleeding. His stomach stopped rumbling for food long ago but he was thirsty and knew he couldn’t last too much longer without water.

“Mother, I don’t want to die.” She stood above the water in a beautiful purple dress, her hair perfect and completely dry. There were so many things he wanted to do and things that needed to be said. He wished Watkins had allowed him to write a goodbye letter to his family. Nick worried the most about Heath. The others would comfort each other but he was afraid Heath would shy away from them and keep his grief inside.

“Heath, I’m sorry.” He wondered why his little brother wouldn’t look at him. Nick wished they had more than six months to be brothers. Heath had come so far since he arrived at the Barkley ranch but Nick wasn’t sure he could handle the death of any family member.

“Pappy, take care of him.” Jarrod smiled at him. “You’ve been a great big brother and they’re all going to need you now. Pappy I need you…” The apparition of Jarrod faded out of sight. Nick closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them, he was saddened to see his family gone and once again he was alone.

---  

“Heath, I told you no.” Jarrod roughly grabbed his brother’s arm. They had argued all morning about sending a telegram home; Heath wanted to and Jarrod was adamantly against it. While Jarrod wasn’t looking Heath sent the telegram and had just informed his brother of what he had done.

“Heath, you had no right.”

“I didn’t?” Heath felt so confused. For days he and Jarrod had been at odds and he knew Nick’s disappearance was only part of it. “They’re my family too, right?”

“Of course.” Finally he released Heath’s arm. “I just didn’t want Mother and Audra to know until we knew something concrete.”

“Jarrod, they’re expecting us to be home tomorrow. Don’t you think they’ll be worried when we’re not on the train?” Nick had been missing for five days now and Heath was starting to think they’d never find him. Heath rubbed the stubble that was now growing on his chin. They had done nothing but watch for Watkins, eating and sleeping only when necessary. Jarrod looked awful and Heath assumed he looked the same.

“I would have thought of something.” Jarrod stormed off with Heath closely following.

“Jarrod, we have to face the truth. Nick could already be dead.”

Jarrod turned abruptly. “He’s not dead.” Jarrod briefly grabbed a hold of Heath’s collar. “Do you hear me? He’s not dead.” Jarrod knew Heath wouldn’t understand but decided to tell him.

“I know Nick’s alive. I can feel it and he needs me but there’s nothing I can do.” If the situation wasn’t so dire, Jarrod would have laughed at the look on Heath’s face. Instead he silently turned and walked back to the spot that had become home for the last few days.

“Jarrod, what do you mean?”

“I can’t explain it.” Jarrod exclaimed as he sat down on the curb. “Since we were children I’ve always known when Nick was really in trouble. I mean life and death trouble and I know right now that he’s alive. Just don’t know where he is.” Jarrod sighed as he stared at the boarding house.

“I would have bet my life that Watkins would come back here.” Silently Jarrod hoped his choice wouldn’t cost Nick his life. He glanced up at Heath who wouldn’t meet his gaze. He probably thinks I’m crazy Jarrod mused, a small chuckle escaping. But Heath couldn’t understand something he never had. That bond Jarrod had with Nick was something that no one could ever break. Not even death. That thought made Jarrod shiver, even in the brilliant sunlight.

“Jarrod, what happens when they get the telegram?”

“They’ll be on the next train out here,” Jarrod answered a little too quickly.

“Then what?”

“Guess we’ll all be standing around wondering where Nick is.”

“Jarrod, I still think they needed to know.”

“And now they do” Jarrod countered. Heath stepped away, his anger with Jarrod slowly building.

“Jarrod, what have I done to you?” Heath stood there, hands in his pockets, staring down at his brother. “For weeks, you’ve been acting weird towards me. What did I do?”

“Heath, I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I’m concerned with right now is finding my brother.”

“Your brother!” Heath took a deep breath. “Jarrod, that says it all. I’m going to get something to eat.” He turned and walked off. Jarrod watched him and then lowered his head into his hands. He felt like he was losing two brothers and he had no one to blame but himself.

---  

Heath felt like a new man. After leaving Jarrod he had gotten a decent dinner, taken a bath and slept all night in a bed. He felt guilty for doing all of this but he needed time away from Jarrod to try to figure out his brother. Nick would know what was bothering Jarrod but Nick wasn’t there and Heath really believed he was dead.

“Thank you.” Heath had bought breakfast for Jarrod and quickly paid the waitress and headed outside. Jarrod was where Heath expected; same spot, eyes on the boarding house. Heath stood in the distance and watched his brother. He was seated on the curb, chin resting on his knees. Jarrod had refused to leave that spot for days and Heath wondered how he was still awake.

“Jarrod!” Heath slowly approached him. “I thought you might be hungry.” He offered the food but Jarrod ignored it.

“Any sign of Watkins?”

“No!” Jarrod quietly answered and then stood up. “This is a waste of time.” He staggered past Heath.

“Jarrod, wait!” Heath got in his way. “Go get some sleep. You haven’t slept in days and you can’t keep going like this. I’ll stay here and watch for Watkins.”

“It’s pointless. We’re not going to find him.” Heath couldn’t take Jarrod giving up.

“Jarrod, don’t give up. You said Nick was alive and he needs us. Maybe together we can figure out some other plan.” For a second Heath saw a little hope in Jarrod’s eyes but it quickly disappeared as he shook his head.

“There is no other plan.” He started walking and this time Heath didn’t stop him. He glanced over at the house and his eyes widened.

“Jarrod!” Heath whispered as loud as he could. Jarrod turned and looked to where Heath was pointing.

“Let’s get him.”

“No!” Jarrod grabbed Heath’s arm to hold him still. “We can’t confront him. Let’s wait him out and then follow him when he leaves.” They watched as Watkins tied his horse up and entered the building. The last thing Heath wanted was to wait but he knew Jarrod was right. They needed him to lead them to Nick and he wouldn’t do it willingly.

“Heath, I got to get some sleep.” Jarrod sat down on the grass, underneath a tree. “Watch and wake me as soon as you see something.” Heath walked to the spot that Jarrod had just vacated and sat down, never taking his eyes off of the boarding house. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Jarrod was already sleeping. For all their sakes he hoped Watkins would lead them to Nick.

---  

Nick never dreamed he would wish for death but he was hoping the water would rise soon and end his misery. He licked his dry lips tasting blood in the process. How ironic he thought, all this water around him and nothing he could drink. Standing up, the water was chest high and Nick knew he couldn’t stay on his feet much longer.

“Damn you Watkins” he yelled, but the words came out as a whisper. He turned to see Jarrod standing right next to him.

“Go away.” He was angry that Jarrod wouldn’t help him and tried to shove his brother with his free hand. “How can you watch me drown and not do anything?” Reality was no longer in Nick’s realm and he cursed loudly at Jarrod.

“Mother!” Nick saw her too and he couldn’t understand why no one helped him. “Heath, Audra…someone help me.” He saw something float by him.

“Bob!” For a few minutes Nick’s mind cleared and he cried out for the dead rat as it floated away. “Bob! I told you to get out of here.” Nick reached out but the rodent was too far away. “God help me.” For the first time since he was imprisoned, Nick started to cry. He stared down at the water and suddenly it seemed so inviting.

“No! I won’t do it.” Nick took a couple of deep breaths. “I won’t give up.” Nick closed his eyes for a few minutes.

“Jarrod!” Again his brother was standing there. This time Heath was with him. “Heath.” Nick smiled. “At least I won’t die alone.” Nick heard the familiar rumbling and knew more water was rushing in. One way or the other Nick knew he would soon be free. 

-----

Kenny stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He had spent the last week camping out about two hours south of San Francisco. He thought about going and retrieving the body but he had seen what water could do to a person and he wasn’t too excited to see it again. Kenny thought he would be satisfied knowing that Nick Barkley was dead but he wasn’t and that surprised him. Nothing would bring Robert back, not even the revenge he so badly craved. Kenny abruptly stood up and neared the window. He was surprised that he hadn’t seen the other Barkleys and no one seemed to be looking for him. He was sure Heath had recognized him but maybe he had been wrong. Kenny stared out the window for a few more minutes and then grabbed his hat. He would get the body of Nick Barkley and take him to his brothers. Kenny had decided while camping that he needed to see the faces of Jarrod and Heath when they saw their dead brother. They would probably kill him but Kenny had no desire to live and would die knowing someone paid for Robert. Kenny left his room, slamming the door behind him.

----  

Heath wasn’t sure how many times he had walked the same line. Watkins had gone inside hours ago and Heath was more than ready to go in after him. He stayed put because he knew Jarrod was right, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier. Jarrod was still sitting in the shade, slowly drinking some water. Neither had spoken a word in hours and the tension was almost more than Heath could handle. He wasn’t sure why Jarrod was so angry with him but Heath knew it wasn’t the right time to discuss it. He was scared but it was more than just losing Nick. As unbearable as that thought was to him, Heath was also afraid that he would lose his whole family. It didn’t make sense to him but often fears never did and Heath tried to push those thoughts out of his mind. He caught movement out of the corner of his eyes.

“Jarrod!” Immediately his brother was on his feet. They both watched as Watkins mounted his horse and quickly rode away.

“Let’s go.” With renewed energy they jumped on their horses and followed.

----  

Kenny had forgotten how far the mine was from town. Maybe it seemed farther because he had ridden so much earlier in the day. The sun was still beating down and he stopped to take a quick drink. He had felt uneasy the past hour and occasionally glanced over his shoulder, seeing no one. Something caught his eye and momentarily he saw two riders in the distance. Panic set in as he tried to figure out what to do. Continue towards the mine or go in a different direction. He didn’t care about being caught but it had to be on his terms and this wasn’t how he wanted it. As he stared at the riders they seemed to speed up, as if they knew they had been spotted. This isn’t how it’s going to be Kenny mused as he took off in a direction away from the mine.

“Jarrod, stop!” They knew Watkins had spotted them and sped up, hoping to reach him before he got away. But then he took off in a different direction and Heath didn’t think they should follow.

“Jarrod!” Heath tried to maneuver in front of his brother and finally Jarrod stopped.

“Get out of my way before we lose him.”

“Jarrod, listen to me.” Heath pleaded. “He was going that way,” Heath said as he pointed. “If he was going towards Nick we have to keep going the same way.” They both glanced to where Watkins took off and he was almost out of sight.

“Please Jarrod.” A few minutes passed before Jarrod nodded and they let Watkins get away, hoping the chosen path would lead them to Nick. But as they rode on Jarrod and Heath felt lost, as they had no clue what they were looking for. All they could see in the distance were trees and rocks; nothing that they felt would lead them to Nick. They slowed down as they neared a cliff and Heath stared out at the ocean. If the situation were different Heath would have enjoyed watching the magnificent body of water.

“Jarrod, look over there.” Heath pointed towards a structure below. “Why would anyone build something so close to the ocean?”

“Don’t know.” Jarrod studied what looked to be the entrance of an old mine. It was obviously flooded as water flowed freely around it. Jarrod glanced downward. The cliff wasn’t nearly as deep as he first thought and he saw a couple of paths that led downward. Jarrod jumped off of his horse and quickly tied the animal to a tree.

“Jarrod, what are you doing?” Heath asked as he followed his brother down.

“Be careful” Jarrod ordered as they reached the bottom. There was only a narrow path of dry land and they slowly walked it.

“Jarrod, what are you doing?” Heath asked again as he watched his brother take his boots and gun belt off and toss them to higher ground.

“It’s just a feeling I have” Jarrod answered as he started wading in the knee high water. Shaking his head Heath quickly removed his own boots and gun belt and slowly followed his brother.

“It’s getting higher” Heath remarked as the water was soon above his chest. He knew what Jarrod was thinking but he couldn’t imagine Nick being alive if he was somewhere in the mine. Jarrod seemed determined and Heath wasn’t about to leave his brother alone.

“Nick!” Heath heard Jarrod call out and tried to catch up to his brother. It was difficult in the water and took a few minutes for Heath to see what Jarrod did. At first Heath thought it was a mirage but they both couldn’t be imagining the same thing. “Nick” they cried out in unison and rushed to the standing figure. Nick turned towards the voices but he didn’t respond to seeing his brothers.

“Nick!” Jarrod was so relieved to see his brother alive he barely noticed the shape Nick was in.

“Go away. You’re not real.” Nick’s voice was extremely hoarse and barely above a whisper. Jarrod and Heath exchanged glances.

“Nick, we’re going to get you out of here” Jarrod said as he reached up and lightly cupped Nick’s face with his hands. Nick’s eyes widened and Jarrod saw how blood shot they were.

“Chain” Nick mumbled as he leaned towards Jarrod seeking support. He tried to lift his hand but lacked the energy to do so. Heath saw the motion and immediately dove underneath the water. He emerged a minute later gasping for air.

“His arm is shackled but I can’t see what it’s chained to. Jarrod, the water’s rising.” Jarrod nodded, having noticed the same thing. Nick was the tallest and it wasn’t much below his mouth.

Jarrod, you’re a lawyer he silently told himself. Think fast and figure something out. Nick’s eyes were closed and Jarrod knew he was completely supporting his brother.

“Jarrod?” He glanced at Heath and saw fear in his eyes. He wondered if Heath was thinking the same thing; they would free Nick or die trying.

“Heath, go get your gun.” His little brother stared at him, clearly confused. “Heath, go!” He left, going as fast as possible against the current of water flowing into the mine.

“Nick, hang on!” He studied Nick’s face and saw how awful he looked. His lips were swollen and bleeding, the skin on his face drawn tight except around the eyes, where he was extremely puffy. Nick opened his eyes and moaned. “Water!”

“Soon Nick. You’ll have water soon.” Jarrod glanced over his shoulder praying that Heath would hurry up. “Pappy?”

“Nick, I’m right here.”

“Pappy!”

Jarrod sighed as his brother became agitated and started fighting Jarrod’s hold. “Nick, I’m here.” He didn’t think Nick realized that. Jarrod started humming a childhood lullaby hoping his voice would soothe Nick. After a few minutes it seemed to work and finally Heath returned, holding the gun high above his head.

“Jarrod, what am I doing with this?” He waved the gun.

“Wait a minute” Jarrod said as he maneuvered around Nick. “Which arm is chained?”

“The right” Heath answered, trying to figure out what Jarrod was up to. Jarrod kept his left arm tightly around Nick as he raised his brother’s right arm out of the water, managing to get it only about six inches above the water. Heath suddenly realized what his brother’s plan was.

“Jarrod, I can’t.”

“You have to. Heath it’s our only chance to get out of here alive. Take a step closer and aim for the chain.”

“No.” Heath shook his head as he eyed the target.

“Heath, don’t think. Just aim and shoot. Now!” Jarrod knew it was a long shot but it was the only shot they had. Heath stepped sideways in case the bullet ricocheted and quickly pulled the trigger, missing the chain completely.

“Heath, take a deep breath and calm down. Put both hands on the gun.” Jarrod realized the water was coming in faster and hoped he was the only one that noticed it. Heath’s hands were shaking and Jarrod was starting to doubt this was going to work. Heath closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. Again he aimed and shot.

“Atta boy” Jarrod cried out as the bullet hit the chain, the sound echoing loudly in the mine. “Do it again” he ordered. “Heath, aim for the same spot.” Nick was getting heavy and it took all of Jarrod’s might to keep Nick standing and his right arm still. Heath shot the rest of the bullets, hitting the chain three more times. He tossed the empty gun away and grabbed the chain. Pulling with all his strength Heath tried to break the chain at the spot the bullets had weakened.

“Jarrod, it won’t budge.” He stopped and stared at his brothers. Nick’s eyes were closed again and Heath wasn’t sure if he was conscious. Jarrod looked as terrified as he felt.

“Should I go back for your gun?” Heath thought a few more bullets might do the trick. Sadly Jarrod shook his head. He knew they didn’t have enough time for Heath to go and get back.

“Heath, get out of here. Someone has to tell Mother and Audra what happened. I’ll stay with Nick.” Heath’s mouth opened wide as the meaning of Jarrod’s words sunk in.

“No!” Heath yelled as he grabbed the chain again. “I just got a family, I’m not losing half of it.” With renewed vigor Heath fought the chain with every ounce of energy he had left.

“Jarrod, it’s breaking.” Heath grunted as he heard part of the chain snap.

“Hurry” Jarrod cried out. The rumbling in the background was getting louder and he knew they were out of time.

“Got it.” Heath shouted with triumph.

“Brace yourself” Jarrod screamed as the rushing water engulfed the brothers.

----

Heath struggled as the water slammed him into a wall. Momentarily stunned he sank to the bottom and then he saw Nick, seemingly unconscious, floating near him. Ignoring his own pain, Heath managed to grab Nick by the collar and fought to get to the top, gasping for air when he reached it. He held Nick above the water, unsure if his brother was even alive.

“Jarrod!” Heath called out as he searched the mine with his eyes. Finally he saw Jarrod emerge about ten yards away.

“Jarrod!” At first Jarrod didn’t hear Heath as he frantically searched for both brothers. Heath called out twice more before Jarrod glanced his way. Heath needed to get Nick out of there and he motioned to Jarrod that he was leaving. He struggled, swimming against the current and keeping Nick’s face above the water. It seemed like an eternity before he saw daylight and was finally able to reach the ground with his feet. He adjusted his grip on Nick and dragged his brother to the first dry land he could reach.

“Nick.” Heath placed him on his back and leaned over, panicking when he realized Nick wasn’t breathing. Swiftly he turned Nick over and started pounding on his back. “Breath” Heath pleaded as a steady stream of water flowed out of Nick’s mouth.

“Damn it, breath!” At this point Jarrod exited the mine and quickly approached his brothers. He fell to the ground just as Nick started to cough. Heath sat down heavily, relieved and exhausted.

“He wasn’t breathing” Heath whispered as Jarrod gathered Nick into his arms. Silently he held Nick until the coughing stopped and his breathing became more even.

“Heath are you ok? Your head’s bleeding.” Heath reached up and touched the spot. “I’m fine,” he said, his eyes staying on Nick.

“That was great shooting in there. You saved Nick’s life.” Heath briefly met Jarrod’s gaze and then scrutinized his stricken brother. Heath had seen too many dead people in his life and he didn’t think Nick looked much different at that moment. His eyes were partially open as he leaned limply against Jarrod.

“Heath, can you make it up there and get some water? I want to get Nick to drink before we head back.” Heath nodded and slowly stood up. His legs were wobbly and he had to stand still until he gained his balance. Ignoring the concerned look Jarrod gave him, Heath started up the path. A few minutes later he returned with a canteen and tried to get Nick to drink. Nick moaned as he turned his head away.

“Nick, it’s water.” Heath struggled for a few more minutes before giving up. “Jarrod, he’s burning up,” Heath said as he held his hand to Nick’s forehead.

“I know” Jarrod remarked. “Change places with me. I think I know the problem.” They quickly exchanged places and Jarrod leaned in front of Nick, trying to get his brother to focus.

“Nick, look at me.” Jarrod placed his hands on Nick’s face. “It’s a long ride back and I know how thirsty you are.” Nick didn’t have the strength to keep his eyes open and Jarrod knew he couldn’t understand anything at that moment. “I’m guessing that metal doesn’t feel too good against your mouth.” As he talked Jarrod poured some water into his cupped hand. Gently he opened Nick’s mouth and managed to get the water in.

“There you go.” Jarrod whispered as Nick swallowed. Jarrod repeated the process a few more times until he was certain that Nick had enough water. Jarrod thought about cleaning his brother’s face but he didn’t want to waste the only drinking water they had. “We’ll clean you up when we get back.” Jarrod glanced at Heath.

“Are you ready to go?” Heath nodded and they both stood, supporting Nick between them. Silently they climbed to the top and together, managed to get Nick on top of the horse. Jarrod quickly mounted behind him and wrapped one arm around Nick.

“Jarrod, look at his wrist.” Heath was standing beside the horse. “Those cuts are probably infected.” Heath could only imagine how hard Nick had tried to free himself.

“I know” Jarrod muttered. “I’m sure that’s causing the fever.” Lack of food and sleep was feeding the fever he silently mused. Nick moaned and Jarrod gripped him tighter.

“Heath, go get my gun. If you see Watkins, shoot him. And I don’t care where you aim.” He slowly started the horse as Heath scampered back down to retrieve the forgotten gun. For a few minutes he stared at the angry ocean, as it whipped against the mine. Heath shivered as he thought about how close that came to being his brother’s grave. Heath turned and hurried to catch up to his brothers.

----  

They hadn’t traveled very far when Nick started shaking. Heath saw Jarrod struggling to keep Nick upright and finally Jarrod stopped the horse.

“Heath, start a fire. We need to warm him up.”

“Jarrod, we have to get Nick back to town.” Heath jumped off of his horse when it was obvious that Jarrod wasn’t listening.

“Jarrod, Nick needs a doctor.”

“I know what Nick needs.” Jarrod barked as they placed their brother on the ground. “Either get a fire started or stay with Nick and I’ll do it.” Jarrod briefly watched Heath storm off.
“I’m cold.” Nick said through chattering teeth. “Get the water away.”

“Nick, you’re out of the water.” Jarrod lifted him to a seated position.

“Jarrod!” Nick was shaking uncontrollably as Heath hurried to get the fire started.

“Nick, I’m here.” Jarrod held him tightly as Nick continued to scream out for his brother. Heath kept glancing over his shoulder as he tended to the fire. Nick was delirious as he kept reaching for something only he could see. Jarrod was wrong in Heath’s opinion. Stopping was wrong; they needed to get Nick to town and out of those wet clothes. Jarrod met Heath’s gaze and knew exactly what his little brother was thinking.

“Heath, he was spooking the horse with his shaking. As soon as he’s asleep we’ll get going again.” Nick had quieted down and the shaking seemed to lessen a bit. His eyes were still open but unseeing as Jarrod touched his forehead, frowning in the process.

“Jarrod, is he going to make it?”

“He will” Jarrod insisted but Heath heard the uncertainty in his voice. Heath was shaking too but it wasn’t from the cold. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Nick’s eyes and it scared him to see how empty they were. Nick was slowly dying no matter what Jarrod said. He had seen that look before, in his mother’s eyes as she lay on her deathbed. They sat in silence with the only movement belonging to Heath as he continuously fed the fire.

“Jarrod, please can we go?” Heath wasn’t sure how long they sat there but Nick was finally asleep. Jarrod nodded slightly so Heath quickly put the fire out and helped Jarrod get Nick back on the horse.

“Do you want me to ride with him?” Heath asked.

“No, I’m fine.” Jarrod quickly mounted and took off. Heath followed from a distance. He figured they had nearly two hours before they reached town and he hoped Nick would sleep the whole way.

----  

Doctor John Freeman ran the ten-room hospital in San Francisco with a staff of five, another doctor and three nurses. His two sons also helped out after school and right now they were arguing about who would take out the trash. John walked outside and stared up at the sky. The sun was setting and it was almost time to close up and go home. If there were patients someone would stay but it had been a quiet week and John liked it that way. Tonight his wife was making stew and he was looking forward to a nice quiet dinner with his family. He saw the two horses approaching fast and knew his dinner would have to wait.
“This way.” He led Heath and Jarrod to an empty bed and helped them with Nick. Jarrod explained the situation as best he could as they quickly undressed Nick and placed a blanket over him.

“Do you have any clean clothes for him?” John asked.

“At the hotel” Jarrod answered and then turned to Heath. “Heath, please get us all clean clothes and send another telegram home.”

“Sure” Heath muttered and turned to leave. He saw two young boys standing in the doorway watching intently.

“Ollie, run and get Steve” John called out. Heath saw the older of the two boys quickly leave. Heath followed.

“James, get a bucket of water and soap.” The younger child ran off as the doctor started his examination. The wrist had the only obvious wounds but the fever is what concerned the doctor. Nick’s eyes were open and he stared up at the man examining him. John smiled but the patient was too feverish to focus on anything.

“John, what do you have?” A young man rushed into the room carrying a medical bag. Jarrod couldn’t believe someone that young could be a doctor and he started to protest when Steve began examining Nick.

“He’s too young….”

“He may be young” John said as he put his arm around Jarrod and guided him away from the bed, “but he’s the best. He studied in England and I met him at Harvard and together we came out here because more people ventured this way.” Jarrod wasn’t convinced and he watched as the doctor stuck a thermometer in Nick, a few minutes later shaking his head as he read the results.

“Oliver!” Steve addressed the child. “Run over to the stables and get Mr. Scott. Tell him to bring his tools.” After he left Steve addressed the men. “First thing we need to do is get that thing off his wrist and clean out the cuts. John, let’s start him on quinine and a small amount of morphine and see how that works. Has he had anything to eat or drink today?” Steve noticed how sunken his cheeks were.

“Just some water” Jarrod answered and again explained the past week to this doctor. Steve frowned and glanced back at Nick. “As long as he’s awake, we’re going to get as much liquids down him as we can.”

Heath returned with the clothes and was introduced to the other doctor. He handed the clothes to Jarrod and walked over to the bed.

“Nick.” Heath reached down and lightly touched his brother’s face.

Nick turned but there was no recognition in his eyes. He coughed twice and then started shaking again. Heath tried to pull the blankets higher but Nick fought him, screaming inaudibly at his brother.

“It’s the fever talking” John said as he pulled Heath away from the bed. “Why don’t you two go and get something to eat and let us do our jobs.” Nick was still yelling and John knew how hard it was for them to see their brother like this.

“Please! There’s nothing you can do for him right now.”

“OK.” Jarrod nodded. “Heath, let’s go. We’ll be back in a couple of hours.” He took Heath’s arm but his brother roughly pulled it away.

“Heath, I don’t want to leave either, but we’re just going to be in the way here.” It wasn’t that, but Heath kept quiet. Right now he was still angry with Jarrod and he didn’t want to be alone with his brother.

“I need to take a walk.” Heath abruptly left. Jarrod glanced at the two doctors and then neared the bed.

“Nick!” He leaned close to his brother’s face. “You have to get well. You’re the only one who can keep this family together.” Jarrod lightly kissed his brother’s forehead and then walked out of the room.

----

Victoria stepped off the platform, carrying a small bag. They had very little time to pack between the telegram and the next train to San Francisco. She found it strange that Heath had sent the telegram instead of Jarrod. That had been her first thought as she read it but for now she was only concerned about Nick. She was hoping to find all three of her sons somewhere in town, laughing, having a drink and talking about Nick’s latest escapade. Victoria smiled. She wasn’t sure when she started thinking of Heath as her son; it had just happened one day.

“Audra, let’s try the hotel first.” Audra silently followed her mother. Victoria knew how upset her daughter had been when hearing news of Heath’s telegram. She had a special relationship with Nick, although her daughter would never admit it. She spent too much time as a child crying to her parents because Nick was teasing her. As she got older Nick had become very protective, especially since their father had died. They reached the hotel and Victoria approached the front desk.

“I’m looking for my sons. Last name is Barkley.”

The clerk nodded. “They’re here” he said.

“Upstairs? What room?” Victoria glanced towards the stairs as she asked.

“They’re not here now” he answered as he stared at Audra. He smiled at her but Audra ignored him and looked away.

“Where are they?” Victoria asked, starting to lose her patience.

“Don’t know” he answered, his eyes still on Audra.

“Could you please look at me while I talk to you?” Victoria demanded as she touched the clerk’s arm.

“Yes ma’am.” He turned his attention back to Victoria. “I’ve seen them come and go but they haven’t been sleeping here. I do know the missing brother was found so maybe you should try the sheriff or the hospital.”

Victoria sighed with relief when she heard that Nick had been found but she worried about where her sons were and how Nick was. “Audra, let’s go.” The clerk tipped his hat at the younger Barkley.

“Audra, wait.” Victoria grabbed the bag out of her daughter’s hand and placed both on the counter. “Please make sure these are put in one of the Barkley rooms.” The young man nodded as the women turned abruptly and walked out.

“Mother, where are we going? Do you think Nick is hurt?”

“Let’s try the hospital,” Victoria said. It had been a few years since she’d been in San Francisco but she remembered the way. She led her daughter in the right direction, hoping that would be the last place she’d find her sons.

----  

Heath leaned against the wall, arms crossed against his chest. Jarrod sat near the bed, clutching his brother’s hand. Nick was oblivious to the presence of both brothers. The doctors kept giving him dose after dose of medicine but nothing was working and his fever was rising. He had not been coherent since they brought him in nearly two days ago. When he was conscious he thought he was still in the water and kept yelling for Jarrod to help him. Heath couldn’t help but wonder why Nick never called out for him.

“Mr. Barkley, my ma thought you might be hungry.” James held a basket out to Heath. “Is your brother any better?” James glanced at the still figure in the bed. “Oliver is always teasing me but I couldn’t imagine him sick like that.” Heath took the basket and smiled down at the young boy.

“Thanks James.” He wasn’t hungry but he didn’t want to hurt Mrs. Freeman’s feelings.

“Mr. Barkley, my pa is the best doctor and he’ll get your brother well.”

“James, don’t bother the Barkleys. Go home and finish your homework, ok?”

“Yes Pa.” James turned to leave, stopping suddenly. “Pa, are we still going fishing tomorrow? Oliver and I have a bet about who’s going to catch the biggest fish.”

“Yes son we’re going. Now run along.” He briefly tousled the boy’s curly black hair before he ran out.

“I hope he wasn’t bothering you. They’re used to having the run of the hospital and sometimes they don’t know how serious things are.” As he said that John glanced over at the hospital bed. Nick Barkley was starting to become a puzzle and they were having no luck figuring out how to lower his fever.

“He wasn’t bothering me.” Heath placed the basket on the floor. “Doc, what’s next?” Heath pointed slightly towards his brother.

“We still have some options,” John answered. “Steve is researching some new medicines that might help.”

“Did I hear my name mentioned?” Steve walked in, followed by Victoria and Audra.

“Look who I found at the front desk.”

“Mother!” Jarrod stood up and greeted her with a hug.

“What’s wrong with him?” Victoria neared the bed, gasping at the sight of her son. From the moment they were born each of her children had a distinct personality that set that child apart from the rest. Nick was the loud one; he screamed the day he was born and got louder as he grew. The one she had to remind to not slam the doors or yell upstairs for his siblings. He was also her healthy and strong child and to see him lying in that bed was almost more than she could handle. But she was a strong woman and she would not let her other children see her breakdown. Victoria carefully sat on the edge of the bed and took her son’s hand. She didn’t take her eyes off of Nick’s face as Jarrod quickly explained the events of the past week. At some point Audra started crying and Jarrod embraced his sister. It was all too much for Heath and he quietly exited the room, thinking no one would miss him.

“It is so hard on a parent to see their child like that.” Heath recognized John’s voice and didn’t bother to acknowledge him.

“This is the part of the job I never get used to…having to watch the families go through this.” John sighed as he glanced into the room. “I can’t imagine ever having to do this with one of my sons.”

“Do you have any other children?” Heath quietly asked, though he wasn’t up for a conversation.

“No, just my two boys, but they’re enough for me to handle.” John chuckled softly. “Oliver knows what he wants and he’s already talking about medical school. James, on the hand, wants to be a cowboy one day and a pirate the next.” John smiled. “He’s a good kid and one day he’ll figure it out.” Heath saw such pride in the man’s face and he had to look away. If only this doctor knew how much it hurt Heath to hear any man talk about his sons. He wondered if this was how Tom Barkley talked about Nick and Jarrod; Heath quickly cleared his mind of those thoughts. He wasn’t going back there. His father would never know him or talk about him and nothing was going to change that.

“Heath, are you ok?”

“Huh?”

“I asked you a question but you didn’t seem to hear me.”

“I didn’t” Heath mumbled. John was about to ask again but decided against it.

“Heath, I’ll be back tomorrow night. Steve will stay with your brother until I get back.” He started for the door.

“Have fun fishing” Heath called out. John turned and studied the strange young man. He wondered why he was in the hall and not with the rest of the family but it was none of his business and he was glad Heath didn’t hear the question.

“Thanks Heath.” The doctor left and Heath decided he needed a walk.

“Heath, where are you going?” He cringed slightly and turned to face his sister.

“I need some fresh air,” he answered, briefly looking at her. “I’ll be back later.” He left before Audra could protest or try to stop him. She wanted to go with him but she had learned that Heath sometimes needed to be alone and this was one of those times. Audra went back in to her brother’s room and took a seat next to her mother. She glanced sideways and knew her mother was upset but her face didn’t show it. Audra wished she was more like that, but she couldn’t hide her emotions like her mother could. The silence loomed large in the small room, the only occasional noise coming from Nick as he groaned or cried out in his sleep.

---  

Steve sat next to the bed and stared at Nick. “You’re making me look like a bad doctor,” he whispered, running his hand through his hair. Steve had done everything he could for almost four days and yet the fever was still high and he knew Nick couldn’t last much longer like this. He had even tried some of his grandmother’s old remedies and that hadn’t worked either.

“Steve, you look like you’ve given up.” John strolled into the room and lightly touched Nick’s head. It was hot, as expected.

“I haven’t given up.” Steve stood as he said that. “And I’m not ready to do what you want.”

“Steve, I’m only a country doctor but I’ve seen it work and we’ve got nothing else to try.” John looked towards the hallway. The family was out there waiting, allowing the doctors a few minutes to examine Nick. “What else are we going to do? He survived in that water, he deserves every last chance that we can give him.”

Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Ice! You want to pack him in ice and see if that lowers the temperature?” John nodded. “He’s had no food or water in two days and he’s very weak. Do you know what lowering his temperature that way is going to do to his heart?” John shrugged, not sure of the answer.

“It’s going to shock his body so much, his heart could stop and we’ll lose him.”

“Steve, we’re going to lose him anyway if we don’t do anything.”

“Fine.” Steve muttered. “Let’s get started before he gets any weaker.” He walked into the hall and eyed John’s sons. “Oliver! James! Go across the street and tell them we need enough ice to fill a bathtub. OK?” The boys nodded as Steve saw the questioning looks on the faces of Nick’s family.

“We’re going to try to lower his temperatures by packing him in ice.” John explained as they reentered the room. “It’s really the only option we have left. Heath can you help the boys with the ice? It’s going to take a lot to fill the tub.” Heath nodded and followed the children out of the hospital.

“What are his chances?” Jarrod asked. John wasn’t sure how to answer that. He knew they hadn’t give up but they were facing the reality of the situation pretty well.

“It could kill him” John answered honestly, “but it could also lower his fever and give him a chance at beating this.” He turned to see Steve entering with the tub.

“Let’s do it” Victoria said with as much confidence as she could muster. She hated seeing her son suffer and knew it had to end one way or the other. She walked over to the bed, leaned over and kissed Nick’s forehead, wishing she could see his eyes again.

“I love you,” she whispered as she brushed back his hair with her hand. She refused to say goodbye before she had to and walked away from the bed so that the men could carry Nick to the tub. They placed a sheet over him and waited for the ice to arrive. Heath entered first carrying a large bucket followed by the boys with smaller ones. Quickly they poured the ice in and ran for more. It took five trips for the tub to be filled and then they waited.

“Boys, please go home.” John escorted his children out of the room, and then went back and waited with the family. It wasn’t long before Nick started to react, his teeth chattering and his whole body shaking. At one point Jarrod thought he saw Nick open one eye, but it was so brief he figured he was mistaken. It was all too much for Audra to handle and she ran out of the room. The rest sat near and waited, praying for a miracle.

----  

The doctors stood over the patient, exchanging one knowing glance. The ice had killed the fever but it has also done what Steve had feared. John turned and faced the family. He didn’t have to say anything, they knew by the look on his face.

“His heart is failing” John said to confirm their fears. There was no reaction from any of them, not even the young woman. But John wasn’t surprised. They had sat there for days watching Nick slowly deteriorate and he felt they knew it was coming.

“I don’t think he’ll last the night,” he added. “I’m sorry!” John glanced over at Steve and slowly the two doctors exited the room. No one said a word as they surrounded the bed; and waited for whatever was to come.

----  

“Nick!” He heard the voice calling to him but continued to walk away from it. “Nicholas Barkley, you stop right now.” The voice was familiar and it intrigued Nick enough to find out who it was. He stopped and turned, his eyes widening with shock.

“Hello Nick.” Tom Barkley smiled at his son.

----

Nick opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. So many thoughts were going through his mind but nothing made sense. His father stood there, looking the same as he did the day he died. His father was dead. That thought ran through Nick’s head until finally he was able to voice it.

“You’re dead.” Nick said matter-of-factly as another thought jumped out. “Does this mean I’m dead too?” Nick looked around, but nothing looked familiar. Actually, there was nothing there but his father.

“Father, what the hell is going on?” Nick realized his choice of words too late and glanced around, but nothing happened.

“Nick, you’re not dead.”

“I’m not?” Nick looked incredulously at his father. “Then, how come I’m talking to you? If I’m not dead, I must be crazy and you’re not real.” Nick walked away from his father.

“Nick, don’t.” He turned and stared at his father. “Nick, please don’t walk any farther.” Nick glanced over his shoulder but there was nothing in the distance and he had no clue why he was walking that way.

“Why not? What’s out there that you don’t want me to see?” Nick took one more step to see what his father would do. Tom Barkley laughed as he recalled some long ago memories.

“You were always the one testing me. I’m glad to see that hasn’t changed.” Tom approached his son.

“Nick, you’re not dead but you will be if you keep walking that way.” Tom reached out but stopped short of touching his son’s arm.

“This is ridiculous.” Nick threw his arms up in disgust. “Is this some kind of joke that Jarrod is playing on me? You just look like our father and Jarrod is hiding somewhere getting a good laugh out of this. Right?” Nick waited for confirmation but none came. Fear set in and Nick glanced around, searching for some way to escape. Tom quietly watched him as he figured out the best way to tell Nick the truth. Finally he motioned for his son to follow him. He pointed but Nick didn’t see anything. Suddenly a room appeared and Nick’s eyes widened.

“Is that me?” He barely recognized himself as the still figure in the bed. But the others were all too familiar. His family sat around the bed, seemingly waiting for him to die. Strangely, Heath stood alone in the corner.

“Father, please tell me what’s going on. Why am I seeing this?” Nick wanted to run but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the scene before him. His mother was holding his hand and he could feel her. She was talking but he couldn’t hear what she said.
“She looks so old,” he whispered. Nick had never thought of his mother as old. He looked at his left hand, the one she was so tenderly holding. “Why can I feel her and not hear her? Is she saying goodbye to me?” Tom nodded yes, his own heart aching for the woman he loved for so many years. He was trying so hard to spare her the pain of losing a son but ultimately it would be Nick’s choice if he lived. Nick assumed Jarrod was next as his big brother gently pushed some loose strands away from his eyes. Jarrod was crying and so was his sister. Actually Audra was bawling as she sat next to Jarrod and held tightly to Nick’s right hand. Again, he could feel their touches but couldn’t hear anything they said.

“Why is Heath by himself?” Nick glanced back at his father.

“He’s probably trying to imagine what it will feel like to lose his best friend.” Nick’s eyes narrowed as his father talk about Heath. He watched his mother go over to Heath and talk to him, taking his hands in hers. Their discussion lasted a few minutes and finally Victoria led a reluctant Heath over to the bed. He sat down and hesitated before picking up Nick’s hand. Nick was surprised at Heath’s gesture. Even after six months Heath was not big on showing affection, especially in front of others. He started to say something but broke down instead, hiding his face against his arm.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Nick turned his back. “Why are you doing this to me?” Tom Barkley wasn’t listening to his son. Instead he was watching his wife.

“She’s a remarkably woman” he quietly said. “The way she treats Heath…as if he were her own son.” Suddenly Nick was angry.

“How could you do that to her? Sleep with another woman!”

“Nicholas Barkley, even here you are still my son and you will not talk to me with that tone! Besides, it’s none of your business.”

In the years since he had died, Nick had forgotten how loud his father could be and wondered if that’s where he got it.

“What about Heath?” he asked. “How could you leave Heath to grow up in Strawberry?” Tom smiled sadly.

“What could I do?” He glanced at the blonde young man who was still crying for his brother. “I didn’t know for sure that he was mine and I couldn’t take a little boy away from his mother.”

“He had such a hard life,” Nick stated quietly.

“I know.” Tom nodded his head. “And I have an eternity to live with my regrets. I am so proud of the man he’s grown in to and I can’t tell him that. And Heath will never hear those words.”
“I can tell him,” Nick said hopefully; his hopes immediately dashed when Tom shook his head.

“Nick, I wish it was that easy. But if you do live, you won’t remember any of this.” Tom watched Heath walk away from the bed and back to the corner he came from. Nick was watching too and he sensed Nick’s desire to live.

“Father, why do I feel so weak?” Nick slowly sank to his knees. “What happened to me? Why am I so near death?” As much as he tried Nick couldn’t remember a thing. “Father, I don’t want to die.”

“I know.” Tom slowly lowered himself to his knees and tightly grasped Nick’s shoulders. “Don’t give up then. Nick, you need to keep fighting and not give up.”

“I fought” Nick insisted. “I fought as hard as I could for as long I could. I can’t fight anymore.”

“Nick, yes you can. You’re a Barkley and we don’t give up. I know you can do it.” Tom glanced sideways. “They need you.” Nick couldn’t look at his family anymore.

“They’ll be fine. We survived your death; they’ll survive mine. Jarrod will make sure.”

“No Nick, not this time. Jarrod blames himself for what happened to you and he won’t be able to help anyone, especially himself. Heath is going to run as far as he can. Nick, they’ll all survive but nothing will ever be the same.” Tom smiled. “I bet you didn’t realize just how important you were.” Nick shrugged.

“Father, why am I so scared?” Nick shivered slightly. “It’s going to be easier if I just keep walking and never look back.”

“For you, yeah it will be.” Tom sighed. “Nick, if you live it’s going to be very hard for you, but you won’t go through it alone. They won’t let you.”

“I don’t know.” Nick stood up slowly. “I don’t want to die, but something is scaring me and I don’t want to live either. Will I recover completely?” Tom looked away, knowing this was one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nick, you’ve never walked away from a challenge before. Think of this as a challenge to get better.” Tom felt his son’s desire to live slowly leaving him.

“Nick, you can’t give up. I won’t let you.”

“Then tell me what my future holds. You seem to know what’s going to happen to them, you have to know what will happen to me. Damn it, tell me!” Father and son stood eye to eye.

“I can’t.” Tom walked away, turning suddenly. “Nick Barkley, I never thought I’d see the day you’d give up. Maybe you don’t deserve to be a Barkley.” Hands on his hips, Tom glared at his son. Nick turned and slowly started to walk away.

“Nick, I’m ashamed that you’re my son.” Tom said desperately but that didn’t work either. Nick continued on his journey.

“Nicholas Barkley, do not take another step and that is an order!” Tom quickly approached his son. “I am ordering you to keep fighting. You are going to live to be an old man, do you understand me?” Tom grabbed his son into a tight embrace. “Please Nick, do it for me. Do it for them. If you can’t fight for yourself, fight for your family.” Slowly Tom released his son. “Nick I don’t want to see you back here for many, many years.”

Nick stared at his father. He didn’t want to disappoint him but he was scared and didn’t want to face what the future held.

“Father, I’m sorry.” He turned and suddenly he heard them, crying and begging him to live. Nick couldn’t take that and he sank to the floor.

“No!” Nick screamed as he placed his hands over his ears. “Father, help me!” He looked up but his father was gone. “I’m scared,” he whispered as his world faded to black.

---

Heath stood in the doorway and watched the children play. They had just been released from school and he marveled at the amount of energy they had. He had done the same thing the past two days and it was his only outlet from the gloomy hospital room where his brother lay unconscious. It had been two days since Nick’s fever had let up and two days since the doctors said he wouldn’t last the night. But Nick was still alive, though unconscious and the doctors wouldn’t even guess to what his prognosis might be. Heath turned and slowly walked the hall back to Nick’s room. There were a few other patients now and Heath could hear talking and crying in contrast to Nick’s room that was completely silent. Heath stepped into the room and stared at his family. They sat motionless, eyes on the still figure in the bed. Heath wanted to say something, anything to break the silence, but nothing came to him. He glanced over at the bed and his eyes took in the sight of his brother. This wasn’t Nick. He had lost so much weight in the past two weeks that Heath barely recognized his brother. He wanted his brother back, the brother who had taught him so much in six months. Heath couldn’t help but wonder what Nick would be like when he awakened, if he did so. He assumed the others had the same thoughts but no one voiced it. They had barely said a word to each other since that day they had all said goodbye to Nick. Heath couldn’t take the silence any longer.

“Is anyone hungry?” Food had been an afterthought the past few days.

“No” Victoria quietly said. The other two just shook their heads. Heath’s eyes settled on Jarrod. Heath tried his best not to be angry with Jarrod, but nothing about Jarrod’s behavior made sense. Heath didn’t think he had done anything and when he first showed up he had felt the closest to Jarrod. He had been the one who welcomed Heath to the family with open arms; the first to tell Heath he loved him and he would always have a family. Yet, now Jarrod was like a stranger. At a time when Heath needed a brother the most, Jarrod barely looked at him and Heath wished he knew why.

“Audra, do you want to go for a walk?”

“No” she whispered. Heath knew what they were all thinking, none of them wanted to be away just in case Nick died. Heath heard footsteps and turned to see Steve walk in. Silently the doctor approached the bed and listened to Nick’s heart. With a slight smile on his face he turned and faced them.

“It’s sounding stronger everyday.” Slowly the smile left his face as he stared at Nick’s family. They had lost hope and he knew it. “I was afraid to say it before but I’m positive that Nick is going to survive this.” No one responded. Where is John when I need him? Steve silently thought. John was much better talking to others and he would know the right thing to say.

“Is he going to wake up?” Heath asked.

“He will” Jarrod answered for the doctor.

“What will he be like when he does?” Heath asked.

“Does that really matter right now?” Jarrod stood up and neared Heath.

“Yes, it matters” Heath answered. “It seems like nothing matters to you right now” he added, his voice rising with anger.

“That’s enough.” Victoria quickly got between her two sons. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but it’s going to end right now. Steve, I’d also like to know.” She turned to the doctor. “What can we expect when Nick wakes up?” Steve would have liked to given them some answers but he honestly didn’t know.

“I don’t know,” he stated with a shrug of his shoulders. “He’s going to be weak from lack of food and water but other than that I just don’t know.” He knew that wasn’t what they wanted to hear. “I’m sorry but right now he’s a mystery to me and I’m still shocked that he’s alive.” Steve glanced at each one but there were no other questions.

“I need to see my other patients” Steve said as he quickly left the room.

“Now, can you two tell me what’s going on?” Victoria’s eyes glanced from Jarrod to Heath.

“I’d like to know the same thing” Heath muttered, glaring at his brother.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Jarrod turned and went back to sit down. Heath shrugged his shoulders at the silent question in Victoria’s eyes.

“I need to get some fresh air,” Heath said as he left the room. Victoria marched over and sat down next to her son.

“Jarrod, please talk to me. I know how worried you are about Nick but there’s something else going on and I want to know.” Victoria briefly glanced at the bed. “Nick is going to need us all and it’s not going to help him if you and Heath are fighting.”

“We’re not fighting.” Jarrod abruptly stood and walked out.

“Nick better wake soon or he’s not going to have much of a family to wake too.” Audra’s words sent shivers down her mother’s spine.

---  

Jarrod sat on the bed and lightly rubbed Nick’s shoulder.

“Come on Nick, open your eyes.” Since Nick’s condition was stable Victoria and Audra had gone to the hotel to freshen up and change clothes. Heath was in the hallway making way too much noise with James and some other child Jarrod didn’t know. Jarrod took the balm off of the table and gently rubbed it on Nick’s lips. They were still cracked and swollen but looked a little better than when Nick was rescued. But that wouldn’t matter if Nick didn’t wake up soon. The doctors had already warned that he would only last another day or two without water and food.

“Nick! I need you so badly. Somehow I’ll make this up to you, I promise.” There was a loud noise in the hall and Jarrod rushed to see what happened. Angrily he watched as the two boys wrestled Heath to the floor.

“Heath, this is a hospital. What are you doing?” Heath stood with one boy under each arm. “Josh’s father is being treated by Steve so James and I are keeping him company.”

“You’re making too much noise.” Jarrod motioned towards Nick’s room.

“I don’t think Nick minds,” Heath quietly said as he placed the boys down.

“Well, I mind. I don’t need to hear all this laughter while Nick is lying unconscious in that bed.” The children walked away without the men noticing.

“What are they arguing about?” Josh asked.

“I’ll show you.” James grabbed his friend’s arm and pulled him towards Nick’s room. “Their brother is in there and he won’t wake up.” Josh peeked in.

“He looks awake to me,” the child said.

“What?” James also looked and he saw that the man’s eyes were open. His arms were flailing as his head moved back and forth. James ran towards Jarrod and Heath.

“Mr. Barkley.” He pulled at Heath’s arm. “Mr. Barkley he’s awake.”

“What?” Jarrod and Heath said in unison.

“He’s awake.” James pointed and both brothers ran towards Nick’s room. Josh was still in there, staring wide-eyed at the bed.

“James, get your father. Take him with you.” Heath ordered as he pushed Josh towards his friend. Jarrod was already on the bed, trying to calm Nick down. Heath joined him.

“Nick, it’s ok.” Jarrod tried to hold his shoulders to keep him still but Nick arched his back, his eyes darting back and forth.

“Jarrod let me try.” Jarrod moved out of the way.

“Nick.” Heath talked softly as he leaned close to his brother’s face. “Nick, you’re safe now.” Heath placed a hand gently on each side of Nick’s face. “Nick, look at me.” Heath smiled down at his brother, his thumbs lightly caressing Nick’s cheeks. Heath heard footsteps and assumed the doctor was there. Thankfully no one tried to interfere with Heath as he continued to talk to Nick. Jarrod and John stood there, holding their breaths until finally Nick stopped struggling. Heath started to move out of the way but John stopped him.

“Stay where you are and keep talking to him.” John worked around Heath and quickly checked Nick’s heart. It was beating fast but that was understandable considering the circumstances.

“I’m going to get Mother and Audra.” Shaking his head, Jarrod walked out of the room.

“Nick, boy howdy am I glad to see you awake.” He glanced at the doctor. “Does he understand what I’m saying?”

“I don’t know but your voice seems to be calming him. Keep it up.” Heath nodded and turned his attention back to Nick.

“Nick, doc here fixed you up just fine. We just need to get you moving and out of here. I sure can’t run the ranch by myself. Boy will the others be so glad to see you.” Heath was running out of things to say and he was glad to hear his family show up. Victoria sat on the other side of Nick. She smiled as she ran her hand through his hair. Heath tried to get up but Nick grabbed for his arm.

“Nick, I’ll be right here.” Heath took his hand and sat down in a nearby chair, allowing more room for the others to get closer. Nick turned and stared up at his mother.

“Hi sweetheart.” Victoria felt her eyes well up and closed them tightly. Despite her effort, the tears fell freely down her cheeks. She wiped them away with her free hand, the other firmly clasping Nick’s hand. She couldn’t tell if Nick recognized her but for now that didn’t matter. Nick was awake and that in itself was a miracle.

----  

Jarrod stood in the background, his guilt eating away at his insides. Because of his insecurities, his jealousy of the bond that Heath and Nick had developed, Nick was lying seemingly helpless in bed. He had been awake for nearly four hours and had not tried to speak at all. He hadn’t done much but hold on to whoever’s hand was close enough to grab. Mother and Heath had painstakingly worked for nearly an hour just to get Nick to drink a glass of water. From there they moved on to clear broth but that wasn’t quite as successful. Jarrod cringed as he watched his mother clean off Nick’s face.

“This shouldn’t be happening” Jarrod whispered but no one was close enough to hear him. Jarrod wasn’t sure what he expected but this wasn’t it. He wanted Nick to wake up, jump out of bed and tell everyone about his ordeal in the mine. He wanted Nick to be as loud and strong as he had been before they left for San Francisco. What Jarrod didn’t want was for Nick to lie helpless in a bed, being fed by others. If Nick’s mind was there, he had to be suffering so much as he had to endure others feeding him. Jarrod couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even near Nick because he was afraid his brother would read the pity on his face. Both doctors hung around and quietly observed Nick’s behavior.

“Pa!” Jarrod saw the child enter the room.

“James, what is it?” John guided his son close to Jarrod. James held up a book. “When I’m sick I like to be read to. Maybe he would too.” Jarrod tried to but couldn’t see the title.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Steve said, overhearing the conversation. “Voices seem to calm him down and there’s just so much that can be said.” Steve grabbed the book and walked over to Heath. This was more than Jarrod could handle at the moment and he quietly walked out of the room. He wasn’t ready to hear someone read his brother a child’s book.

“I need a drink” he muttered and headed towards the saloon.

----

If Heath really thought about what he was doing he didn’t think he could handle it. So he used logic; Nick needed to eat and he was either unwilling or unable to feed himself so someone had to do it for him. Heath reasoned that Nick had fought so hard surviving in the mine and then again against the fever, that right now he just didn’t have the strength to do the simple things most took for granted. At least he was eating and that was the number one priority for the doctors. They had only given him liquids on the first day, some solids on the second and now, the third day since waking up, Nick’s appetite was darn close to normal. Other things were becoming apparent too. Nick knew his family and was calmer when one of them was around. That first day had been hard; Nick clung to them and he needed to hear voices in order to remain calm. Steve thought Nick couldn’t focus when he first woke up and needed the other stimuli to know he wasn’t alone.

“Had enough?” Heath put the plate down. “Nick, look at me.” It had become clear that morning that Nick understood what was being said, though the only word he had ventured to say was no and that usually happened when he saw the nurses enter the room. Heath never stayed around to see his brother’s dignity stripped, and even though he knew what was done to Nick was necessary, he still couldn’t watch.

“Nick, mother will be here soon and then I’m going to leave for a little while. Anything you want me to bring you?” Heath was hoping to hear Nick talk but he only shook his head no.

“Nick, we really need to get you out of this bed. I sure can’t run the ranch by myself.” At the mention of the ranch Nick shifted uncomfortably in bed. “The ranch is fine” Heath assured him and then he didn’t know what else to say. He was grateful when James entered and promptly jumped on the bed.

“How ya doing Nick?” James didn’t need an answer as he started telling Nick about his day starting with breakfast. They had discovered the day before by accident that the child amused Nick. They had left Nick alone briefly when he was sleeping only to find him awake and totally captivated by the little chatterbox. Nick actually laughed at James’ stories and he was now considered part of the recovery process and agreed to stop by again after school. Heath stepped back and observed his brother. He wished he could will him out of bed and back to his old self but Heath was willing, though not patiently, to wait for his brother to get well. He glanced sideways when Victoria entered the room. She motioned for him to follow her into the hallway. Heath looked over his shoulder and Nick didn’t even notice, still enthralled by James and his stories.

“Jarrod” Heath said before Victoria could open her mouth. She nodded. “I haven’t seen him all day and I’m starting to worry.” Heath figured he knew where Jarrod was but he kept quiet.

“Heath, will you look for him? He hasn’t been here since yesterday morning and Nick needs to see him.”

“Yes ma’am.” Heath smiled as he said that, so that Victoria knew he was joking. She disliked him calling her ma’am but he still did it occasionally in a joking fashion.

“Heath, I’m so proud of you and the way you’re dealing with Nick.” As opposed to Jarrod, Victoria thought but didn’t say. “But you need the night off. Take Audra out to dinner and don’t worry about Nick.” They both glanced towards the bed and Nick was just fine.

“I’ll be back in the morning.” Heath thought about saying goodbye to Nick but he didn’t think his brother would even notice him gone. He left and headed straight to the saloon, not surprised to see Jarrod sitting at the bar.

“Little early to be drinking, don’t you think?” Heath sat down next to his brother but waved the nearing bartender away.

“I don’t need to think when I’m drinking” Jarrod countered, his speech slightly slurred.

“Mother is worried about you and Nick would like to see you.”

“Nick doesn’t know who I am.” Jarrod downed the rest of his drink and motioned for the bartender to come closer.

“Jarrod, you’ve had enough.” Heath intercepted the drink angering his brother.

“Get away from me.” Jarrod pushed Heath as hard as he could, stumbling in the process. Heath managed to stay upright, bracing himself against the bar.

“Jarrod, I never thought I see the day when you let your brother down…”

“You must have missed the last two weeks” Jarrod spit out. “I don’t think I could let him down any more than I already have.” Jarrod staggered out of the saloon. Heath thought about following but decided to go back to the hotel instead.

---  

Heath stared at his sister as she picked at the food on her plate. Audra glanced up, catching Heath watching her.

“Do I look that bad?” she asked. The circles under her eyes were a telling sign but Heath shook his head with a smile. “You look just fine,” he answered. “Not hungry, are you?”

“Not really.” Audra put the fork down. “All I can think about is Nick.”

“I know.” Heath could sympathize as his brother was always on his mind too. “Audra, he’s getting better, it’s just going to take time.”

“But Heath, he can’t even feed himself. What do you think is going through his mind?”
“I don’t know.” Heath gave up pretending he was hungry and pushed his plate away.

“Maybe one day he’ll be able to tell us. Or better yet, maybe he just won’t remember any of this.” Heath really hoped that would be the case and that Nick would have no memories of almost drowning or the weeks afterwards.

“Wish I could forget” Audra quietly said. “I think we need to go home. We’ll all be better off at home, especially Nick.”

“I’m sure the doctors will let us know when Nick can travel.” A small smile played on Heath’s face.

“What’s so funny?” Audra asked as Heath grinned broadly.

“I was just thinking. The way Steve looks at you, he might never let us go.”

“He does not.” Audra blushed in spite of her protest. “He is kind of cute,” she added, her thoughts momentarily off of Nick. “He was telling me about studying in London and how beautiful it is out there. One day I’d like to visit.”

“Maybe Steve can take you.”

“Heath, stop it. This is no time to be talking about my love life.” Audra smiled and that made Heath feel better.

“Why not?” he asked. “I don’t think Nick would be mad that you’re smiling or thinking about something besides him. Nick’s lucky…” Heath paused as his mind drifted to another time.

“How so Heath?” Heath didn’t answer, briefly lost in his thoughts.

“Heath!” He looked up and smiled weakly. “Sorry, I was thinking about something. Nick’s lucky cause he has all of us, he has a family.” That was something Heath would never take for granted. Audra sensed his mood changing for the worse.

“Heath, let’s order dessert. Chocolate cake sounds really good, doesn’t it?”

“Sure Audra.” Heath motioned for the waitress and placed the order. Soon two three-layer pieces of cake were placed on the table. Eagerly they ate the dessert, with renewed appetites and brighter moods.

----  

Victoria exited Nick’s room and immediately saw Jarrod standing there. Her oldest son looked awful, unshaven and in clothes he probably slept in. He leaned against the wall and didn’t acknowledge his mother as she neared him.
“Jarrod, I think it’s about time you talk to me.” She took his arm and gently pulled him away from the wall. “Let’s go.”

“What about Nick?” Jarrod quietly asked.

“He’ll be fine for a few minutes.” Together they walked outside. Victoria took a deep breath feeling the cool breeze against her face, eyes momentarily closed.

“Jarrod!” He had his back to her. “Jarrod, please face me.” He moved in slow motion but eventually turned. “Why are you avoiding Nick? I know it’s hard to see him this way but he needs you to get better.”

“I’ve done enough to him” Jarrod spit out, and then turned to walk away.

“Don’t you dare turn your back on me again.” Victoria grabbed his arm. “Jarrod, what have you done to him?” Jarrod sighed, no longer able to keep his guilt to himself.

“I brought him here. And do you know why I did that?” Jarrod didn’t allow his mother to answer. “I was jealous. Yeah me, Jarrod Barkley.” Jarrod lightly hit his chest. “I was jealous of how close Nick and Heath had become and I just wanted some time to spend with my brothers.” Jarrod’s voice grew quiet. “I thought I was losing Nick and now I may have forever.” Jarrod slowly sank to the bench as Victoria stood and observed him. She knew Nick and Heath had developed a strong bond but she never imagined that Jarrod was feeling left out. It was so unlike him to feel insecure about anything, especially the love his brother had for him. Regardless, it was not Jarrod’s fault and he needed to understand that. Victoria sat down next to him, placing a hand on Jarrod’s leg.

“Jarrod, I’m sorry. I had no idea how you were feeling. Don’t you realize how much Nick looks up to you? He has always turned to you when he was in trouble and that’s not going to change now. But he also relishes playing big brother and that’s what he’s doing with Heath. He’s giving Heath everything you gave him…but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need you.” Jarrod stood up abruptly, eyeing the hospital door.

“Jarrod, it’s not your fault. You did not cause him to be in that place and he wouldn’t blame you either.” Victoria stood also. “Nick knows you’re not there and he’s confused. Jarrod, go be with your brother.” Victoria briefly took his hand. “Just concentrate on Nick right now, ok?” Later she would get to the bottom of the animosity between Jarrod and Heath. “Jarrod go!” Taking a deep breath Jarrod entered the building. He stood in the doorway and stared at his brother. He did look better than the last time Jarrod saw him, but that wasn’t saying much. Nick turned and made eye contact, surprising Jarrod with that connection. Jarrod walked towards the bed, knowing Nick was watching his every move.

“Brother Nick” Jarrod whispered as he gently sat on the bed. It was a phrase Jarrod had used frequently in the past and he wondered if Nick remembered. Jarrod lightly placed his hand on Nick’s stomach. Silently they stared at each other, one not sure what to say and the other seemingly unable to say anything.

“Nick, I’m sorry I haven’t been here.” There was so much Jarrod wanted to say but nothing that was right for the moment. Nick seemed to be struggling with something, his face contorted.

“Nick, what is it?” Jarrod asked, his concern growing. Nick’s mouth opened and closed several times.

“Pappy.” Nick whispered and then sank against the pillow. Jarrod’s heart filled with emotions as he realized the gift his brother had just given him. It had taken so much out of Nick just to recall and say a word that meant so much to Jarrod. It was Nick’s way of saying he was still inside, no matter what anyone else thought.

“That’s right Nick. Pappy’s right here.” Jarrod took his brother’s hand and held it tightly. “Pappy’s right here” he repeated, crying softly. Tears were also rolling down Nick’s cheeks.

“Nick, it’s ok. Everything will be ok.” Nick’s crying intensified so Jarrod lifted him up and held him in a tight embrace.

“It’s ok.” Jarrod’s voice continued to soothe as his arms offered the comfort and support that Nick needed so much. Eventually Nick fell asleep and Jarrod lowered him back to the pillow.

“You’re going to get better. Nick I promise you that.” It was a promise that Jarrod intended to keep. He fixed the blanket around Nick and continued to sit on the bed, watching his brother sleep.

----  

Heath couldn’t sleep so he decided to go and check on Nick. He stopped in the doorway and smiled at the scene before him. Jarrod was sitting up in the bed, his back against the wall. His eyes were closed and Heath assumed he was sleeping. Nick was leaning against Jarrod, his head resting on Jarrod’s chest, snoring loudly. Neither looked too comfortable but Heath didn’t have the heart to wake them. He was happy for Nick that Jarrod finally found his way back to his brother.

“Goodnight” Heath whispered and then quietly walked out.

---

“I’m not doing it. Get out of here…all of you.” Nick leaned back in bed. “The show is over” he added, turning his back on them.

“We’ll try again later” John said as he and Steve walked out. Heath glanced around the room and saw the frustration on everyone’s face. They all wanted to go home but the doctors had hoped to have Nick on his feet before letting him go. He knew Nick was the most frustrated of all of them and he was starting to take his frustration out on his family. Two weeks had passed since Nick had awakened and he had only managed a few steps with assistance. There were other small subtle changes in Nick and Heath wondered if the others had noticed too. He didn’t talk at all about the past and no one questioned how much he remembered. He had no memories at all of being trapped in the mine and made it clear that he didn’t want to hear about it.

“Nick, rest for a few minutes and then we’ll try again. Heath and I will help you.” Jarrod sat on the edge of the bed. “Nick, you can do it.” Jarrod glanced back at Heath and wasn’t surprised when his brother looked away. Jarrod knew he would have to deal with Heath but besides telling him the truth, he didn’t know what else to say. They were cordial to each other but both felt the tension and he assumed the rest of the family did too.

“Nick, are you ready?” Jarrod lightly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“No! I said go away.” Nick pushed his hand off. Jarrod stood up and approached his mother, shrugging his shoulders slightly. She knew how hard this was on her oldest son; despite everything she said, he still blamed himself for Nick’s condition. She had preached patience when dealing with Nick, but slowly that patience seemed to be running out. Nick was making it difficult and Victoria assumed her son was doing it on purpose. He seemed to be pushing his family away but she knew he wouldn’t succeed.

“Audra” Victoria said as she stood up. “We still haven’t checked out that store you keep eying. Let’s go and see what they have.” Victoria reached down and helped her daughter up. Audra was about to say something but her mother shook her head no. Silently they walked out of the room. Jarrod and Heath exchanged glances, both wondering if they should stay or go.

“I’m going to send a telegram to Silas and find out how things are going at home.” Jarrod spoke out loud but didn’t address either brother. He was going to ask Heath if he wanted to come with but Heath settled back in the chair, his actions answering for him.

“Nick, I’ll be back later.” Jarrod said before leaving. Heath stayed in the chair for a few minutes before approaching the bed.

“Nick, are you done feeling sorry for yourself?” Nick didn’t answer but Heath heard a disgusted grunt and smiled slightly.

“Come on. Turn over and look at me.”

“Why?” Nick turned. “So you can tell me I look just the same and everything will be fine. How many times do I have to hear that?”

“Until you believe it,” Heath answered, ignoring the look Nick gave him.

“I don’t feel the same” Nick spit out, sighing. He didn’t either. Everything seemed a little more difficult…finding the right words, walking, everything that he had never thought about before. “Heath, I want to go home.”

“We will…”

“No!” Nick slammed his hand against the wall, grimacing in pain. “Don’t tell me we will when I can walk. I want to go now!” Nick’s voice rose angrily.

“You’re sounding more like yourself” Heath quietly said, “loud and demanding. Get out of that bed and we’ll go.” Nick was cradling his hand, flexing his fingers a few times to make sure they all worked.

“You don’t understand” Nick stated, leaning back in bed. “I can’t remember what anything looks like; the house, my horse…nothing. Everything you’ve all told me about, I can’t picture it.” Nick fought back tears. This was the part that was hardest on Heath. Nick had become very emotional and none of them was used to that.

“Nick, it will all come back to you.” Heath hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. When it became apparent that Nick was having some difficulties Steve had explained that the fever might have done some damage to his brain. It was something none of them wanted to believe, but a reality they would possibly have to face in the future.

“Don’t lie to me.” Nick sniffled and wiped away a few tears. “Nothing will ever be the same and I don’t even know what I did wrong.” If Heath thought it would have helped, he would have explained that Watkins was angry because he was fired from the Barkley ranch, and the reason behind his firing. But Heath was afraid that Nick would hate him and he already had one brother mad at him and couldn’t handle another one.

“Nick, you didn’t do anything.” Heath sat on the bed. “Do you want to play cards? Checkers?”

“No. I just want to be left alone.”

“Sorry, can’t do that.” Heath moved back to the chair. He picked up the book that was lying on the nightstand and opened it to the book marked page. Heath quietly started reading out loud, half expecting to hear Nick protest. But none came so Heath settled back in the chair and continued to read.

----  

Jarrod returned to the hospital about an hour later to find both his brothers sleeping. He put down the food he was carrying and quietly walked over to the bed. He figured it would be a good opportunity to put medicine on Nick’s lips. His brother hated the taste and they had resorted to waiting until he was asleep, which wasn’t often, to apply the balm.

“Don’t you dare.” Nick opened his eyes and immediately knew what his brother was up to. “You think I can’t taste that garbage if I don’t see you doing it?” Jarrod sighed as he put the jar back on the table.

“Nick, that garbage is healing your lips. Stop acting like we’re trying to poison you. Are you hungry? I brought some food back.”

“Jarrod, do you remember when Heath arrived?” Nick stared at his sleeping brother. “I didn’t, until just a few minutes ago” Nick added, without giving Jarrod a chance to answer. “I was watching him sleep and it just came to me.”

He looked up to see Jarrod smiling. “Nick, that’s great. It will all come back to you.” Jarrod willed the twinge of jealousy out of his mind. It didn’t matter what Nick remembered as long as his memories started coming back.

“I think I am hungry. What’d you bring?”

Jarrod started emptying the bag, showing everything to Nick.

“Nick, you have to eat at the table.” It had been set up across the room as an object that Nick could aim for when walking.

“Jarrod, I can’t.”

“Nick, just try. Appease me, ok?” Nick sighed as he slowly sat up in bed. At least sitting had become much easier in the past week. Nick stared at his feet, never dreaming that it would come to this.

“I’m ready.” Jarrod leaned over and supported his brother to an upright position. Immediately Nick felt like he was going to fall and he closed his eyes.

“Nick, take a deep breath and calm down.” Jarrod couldn’t help but remember a time a few weeks ago when he was completely supporting his brother. At least this time there was no water.

“I’m ok.” Nick opened his eyes and took one step and then another. It didn’t matter that Jarrod was supporting most of Nick’s weight; this was the best Nick had done and Jarrod kept encouraging him each step of the way. Finally, Nick plopped into the chair with a loud holler, causing Heath to jump out of his chair.

“What happened?” Clearly confused and still half a sleep, Heath searched the room, his eyes finally settling on Nick.

“You just missed my best performance. Hungry?” Nick wiped his forehead with his sleeve and then started gobbling the food down.

“Heath, want to join us?”

“Yeah! I guess.” Heath’s heart was still beating fast as he joined his brothers for lunch.

“You walked that far?” Nick nodded, his mouth full of food.

“I’m not sure I believe it” Heath said with a smile. “Think you’ll have to do it again just to prove it to me.” Nick rolled his eyes, his mouth too busy eating to mutter a reply.

“OK then.” Heath was still grinning. “You get two more weeks of vacation before I expect you back on the ranch, working.”

“It’s a working ranch” Nick spit out, a smile on his face. “I always say that, don’t I?”

“You do.” Heath had been on the other end of that phrase more times than he wanted to remember. “You’re starting to remember, aren’t you?”

“I am.” Nick took a deep breath. “That walk sure made me hungry.” Nick helped himself to a second helping. Heath glanced at Jarrod, who had become awfully quiet. Heath wanted to say something to his brother but nothing came to him. The rest of lunch was eaten in a tense silence and Heath wondered if he was the only one who noticed.

----  

He was going home. The words that Nick had been waiting to hear had finally been spoken. He wasn’t walking like they wanted him to but the doctors had no medical reasons to keep him any longer. Nick was scared, though he wouldn’t admit that to anyone. He wasn’t sure how he would face those back home or how they would treat him. Nick wanted to believe he was the same but he wasn’t totally sure what he was like before. Most of the time he felt fine but there were occasions when he knew something was different, just couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Nick!” He cringed slightly. Out of all the goodbyes Nick knew this would be the hardest. Nick turned the wheelchair around and smiled at the child.

“Hi James.” Nick wasn’t sure why he felt so close to this child but he did.

“Nick, you’re leaving, aren’t you?” James tossed his books on the table. “I’m gonna miss ya.” James smiled. “You listen best to my stories.”

“I’ll miss you too, but I’ll come visit.”

“You will?” James’ smile broadened. “When?”

Nick chuckled softly. “Think it will have to wait until I’m walking. You’ll have to think of all the fun things we can do together.”

“We can go fishing” James piped in. “There’s these rocks that I like to climb. Can Oliver come too?”

Nick nodded. “Of course.”

James frowned and then walked away from Nick.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asked as the child wandered the room. He turned and Nick saw tears running down the child’s face. Nick wheeled the chair near the boy.

“James, what is it?” Nick waited while James wiped his face.

“You like spending time with me” James quietly said. “Oliver and Pa are always talking about medicine and stuff and…” James shrugged. “I think I might like to work on a ranch.” He looked at Nick with hope in his eyes.

“James, when you’re old enough and if that’s what you really want to do, there will be a job waiting for you in Stockton, ok?” James’s face lit up.

“Really? When can I start?”

Nick started laughing. “You have to wait a few years. James, don’t be in a hurry to grow up.” There was a knock on the door. They looked up to see Heath standing there.

“Nick, we need to get going or we’ll miss the train.” Nick nodded and then turned his attention back to the child.

“James, I’ll see you soon.” Nick pulled the child close, embracing him tightly. After a few minutes James pulled away and ran out of the room.

“That was not fun” Nick muttered. “I’m ready, let’s go.” Heath nodded and pushed Nick out of the building.

----  

Victoria stared out the window at the passing trees. She was happy to be going home and more than relieved to have all her children with her, but she was also worried about what the future would hold. She had never figured out what was going on between Jarrod and Heath and they both denied any problems. But Victoria knew something was wrong and hoped they could work it out soon. Nick was feeling and looking better but she saw sadness in his eyes, as he longed to be who he was before this had all happened. One day soon she prayed, that her son would be whole again and the pain he felt a distant memory. Victoria smiled when she glanced at Audra. She was the one child Victoria wasn’t worried about at the moment. She was telling Nick something, and though she couldn’t hear what her daughter was saying, she heard Nick laughing and that was music to her ears. Victoria returned to staring out the window. The future might be unknown, but she liked the odds of facing it at home and with her family.

THE END