Through the Eyes … What Lies Ahead

by Marci S.

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Sam jumped off the swing and walked towards Tommy, who was sitting on the grass next to Lucky.

“Hey boy.” Sam rubbed Lucky’s stomach as she settled in next to them. “So are we ready to do this?” She leaned against Tommy and peered at the notes he was scribbling.

“I suppose.” Tommy wrapped his arms around Sam and lightly kissed her cheek.

“Maybe we should go over everything again,” Sam mused out loud. She was sure of how much she loved Tommy, but unsure of how her family would react at the news of their engagement.

Tommy stood up and stretched. He had grown very tall, as tall as Nick, and years of working on the Barkley ranch had made his body lean and muscular. His hair was still red, but lighter than it was as a child, and cut very short.

“Sam, are you getting cold feet?”

“No.” She stood up and leaned into her boyfriend. “I wish mama was here,” she whispered. “I’m just afraid of how my brothers are going to react. They still treat me as a child especially Heath.”

Tommy smiled down at her. “All they have to do is look at you and know you’re not a child.”

Sam playfully hit his arm.

“You know what I mean. OK, let’s go over that list one more time.”

Tommy rolled his eyes but abided by her wishes. “Jacob will be my best man and the twins will be my groomsmen. You have Audra as your matron of honor, Gracie and Laura as your bridesmaids, right?”

Sam nodded in agreement before Tommy continued.

“Matt is the ring bearer and Leah and Abigail are the flower girls. Have I left anyone out?”

“I don’t think so.” Sam walked over to the swing and stared up at the tree house. “Jarrod will walk me down the aisle” she stated firmly.

“Are you sure?” Tommy wrapped his arms around his fiancée and kissed the top of her head. “How will Heath and Nick feel about that?”

Sam pulled away and stared up at Tommy. “Jarrod has been like a father to me and they know it.” She smiled. “They’ll be fine with it.”

She whistled and Lucky came bounding over.

“We should probably head back and get this over with.”

They mounted their horses and headed towards home.

* * * * *

They had decided to divide and conquer so Tommy was home telling his family while Sam stared at the faces of hers.

“Well?” The years had not given Nick any more patience. “What’s so important that you called us all together in the middle of the day?”

Sam looked from face to face finally settling on Heath’s wife, Laura. Somehow Laura knew and she smiled encouragingly. “Tommy and I are engaged to be married.” Sam spit it out before she lost her nerve.

“I knew it. Pay up.” Nick held his hand out towards Heath, who grudgingly dug into his pocket.

“You two had a bet on this?” Sam asked incredulously. “Is there anything you don’t bet on?”

“I think it’s wonderful news.” Laura came over and hugged Sam tightly. “Tommy’s a good man and will make a wonderful husband.”

“He’s just a kid” Heath commented. “Sam, so are you. Are you sure you’re both ready for marriage?”

Sam glanced over at Jarrod, who remained uncomfortably quiet. She saw the look on his face and knew a lecture was forthcoming.

“It’s what we want and we’re both ready.” Sam sighed, staring at her brothers.

“I think it’s great then.” Nick approached Sam and lifted her up in a bear hug.

Heath too came over and congratulated his little sister. Jarrod remained where he was, a worried look on his face.

“Jarrod, let’s get this over with.” Sam walked into the study and Jarrod followed.

He studied his sister as she walked behind the desk and sat down. She was no longer a child but he felt she was too young to get married. There were so many things he wanted for her before she settled down and raised a family.

“Mother approved,” Sam said before Jarrod could open his mouth. “One of the last conversations I had with her she told me Tommy would make a wonderful husband and I would know when the time was right.” Samantha stood up and neared her oldest brother. His hair was still jet-black but there were hints of gray above his ears. But his eyes were the same; piercing blue and right now they were set on Sam’s face. “Jarrod, do you know when I realized I loved Tommy?”

Jarrod shook his head.

“Remember when I was ten years old and trapped in that mine?”

Jarrod didn’t have to answer; it was something they would never forget.

“Nick had to drag Tommy out of there for his own safety. It was then I knew that he was more than just a goofy kid that made me laugh.” Sam smiled at the memories that were thankfully so long ago. “He was willing to risk his life to stay with me.” She could still picture Tommy kicking and screaming as Nick threw him over his shoulder.

“Sam, what about college? I had really hoped you would decide to go.”

Sam smiled wearily. “Jarrod, you know I’ve never been good in school. It would be a waste of money for me to go to college and that’s not what I want.”

Jarrod sighed and walked away from his sister. “Sam, you used to talk about seeing the world; going overseas. Has that changed?”

“Jarrod, lots of things have changed in the past few years. Jarrod, I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true. I’m not doing this because of the promise I made to you. This is what I want.”

Sam knew she wasn’t convincing her brother.

“Jarrod, Stockton is my home and I don’t want to be anywhere but here, near my family; my brothers, my nieces and nephew. And Tommy feels the same.” Sam paused and smiled. “Gracie demanded to have her own room in our house so she can stay over whenever she wants.” Sam approached her brother and gently touched his arm. “Jarrod, I’ve thought about this hard and long. I’ve spent so much time alone that I can’t imagine ever being alone again. Trust me please.”

“Daddy!” Before Jarrod could open his mouth Matthew came running in crying.

“Matt, what’s wrong?” Sam backed off and watched as Jarrod scooped up his three year old son. He was a miniature Jarrod, with the same colored eyes and hair.

“Daddy, make them play with me. Abby keeps telling me to go away, they’re doing girl stuff.”

As Jarrod tried to comfort his son, Sam’s mind wandered back to the most awful time in their lives. A flu epidemic had come to Stockton and though most families had been hit hard, none suffered like the Barkleys had. Not only had it taken the matriarch of the family but Jarrod had also lost his wife. Matthew was extremely ill and Sam would never forget the day she saw Jarrod crying over his unconscious son and begging god not to take him too. Sam had wanted to flee but Jarrod turned and saw her and the pain in his eyes scared her. That day, as Sam held her brother and they cried together, a special bond had formed between them. It wasn’t something they ever talked about but it was there and they both felt it.

“Sam, did you hear me?” Lost in her thoughts, Sam hadn’t realized that Matthew was tugging on her shirt. She bent down and picked up her nephew.

“I’m sorry Matthew, what did you say?”

The little boy frowned. “Can we go bake cookies? I know Abby will want to do that.” It was so like the child to pick something he knew his sister couldn’t say no too.

Sam glanced over at Jarrod. “Is this conversation over?”

Jarrod shrugged slightly. “If it has to be.” He still wasn’t convinced about the engagement but he knew he couldn’t change his sister’s mind. “Go on, have fun.” He tousled his son’s hair before they left.

* * * * *

Sam toted Matthew upstairs and knocked on Abigail’s door. There was no answer but she heard giggling and decided to open the door.

“I didn’t say you could come in.” Abby assumed it was her brother and seemed surprised to see her aunt instead. “Sorry Sam, I thought it was Matthew bothering us again.”

Leah ran over and greeted her aunt with a hug.

“Sam, we told Matthew he couldn’t play with us,” Abby explained.

Leah nodded as she sat back down next to her cousin. They were both five, only two months apart but as different as night and day. Abby was older and had the same blues eyes as her father and brother, but her hair was a shade lighter like her mother’s. But her disposition was all Jarrod and he was convinced she would be a lawyer when she grew up. Leah was blonde and blue eyed like Heath and Laura. She was a sweet natured child who adored both her cousins but Abigail was the leader and Leah would do as her cousin said. Sam felt she was a bit spoiled but understandably as her parents had lost two children after Leah was born and they tended to keep a tight reign on her and give her what she wanted. Leah desperately wanted a sibling but until that happened she stayed close to her cousins and was over at the Barkley house as much as possible.

“Matthew and I are going downstairs to bake cookies. Would you two like to join us?”

Leah naturally glanced over to see Abigail’s response. She smiled broadly when Abby nodded yes. The two girls ran out of the room and Matthew wriggled out of Sam’s arms to follow them. By the time Sam reached the kitchen the three of them were already grabbing items out of the cabinets, eager to start baking.

* * * * *

Sam glanced around the kitchen, at the mess they had all made. Thank god Silas would not return for a few days and it would give Sam a chance to clean the kitchen up. The children were also covered from head to toe in anything and everything they had gotten their hands on. The cookies were done, cooling on the counter.

“I smell something good.” Nick’s voice was heard before he entered the kitchen. Heath followed.

“Uncle Nick, no.” Matthew tried to stop him from taking a cookie. “They’re not ready yet.”

Nick took one anyways and bit into it. “Mmmm. Tastes good to me.” He popped the rest into his mouth and then picked up his nephew.

“Sam, were you baking cookies or children?” Heath surveyed the scene around him.

“Daddy, have a cookie.” Leah took one and offered it to her father.

Heath smiled as he took it from her and quickly deposited it into his mouth. “We better get you home and cleaned up before your mother gets a look at you.”

“Daddy, I want to stay. Please.” Leah’s blue eyes filled with tears.

“Heath, she has a closet full of clothes here. It won’t be any more work getting a third child cleaned up.”

Heath agreed much to the delight of his daughter.

“OK, you two upstairs and straight to the bathroom. And don’t touch a thing until I get there.”

Leah and Abigail put their arms up in the air and started marching, chanting something that only made sense to the two of them.

“Nick, Jarrod had to go into town. Can you keep him out of trouble until I’m done with the girls? And leave some cookies for the rest of us.” She spit that out as Nick’s hand reached for another cookie.

He smiled as he broke it in half and handed one half to Matthew. “What is Jarrod going to do after you get married?”

“He’ll manage” Sam retorted. “Besides, I’m not going very far away and I’ll be here for the kids whenever they need me.”

They heard shrieks from upstairs and Sam rushed up before the girls got into any trouble.

* * * * *

The girls were clean and playing quietly in Abby’s room so Sam headed downstairs. She found Nick reading a story to Matthew while Heath busied himself on the other side of the room. It didn’t surprise Sam to see Heath so far away from Matthew. Ever since his own son had died he seemed to keep his distance from Jarrod’s son. Sam wasn’t sure Heath was even aware of what he was doing and she didn’t think anyone else had noticed.

“Matthew are you ready? The bathtub is calling your name.”

Matthew frowned and shook his head.

“Nick can finish the story when we’re done.” Sam lifted up her nephew.

“Oh I forgot” Nick said suddenly. “Audra sent you something. The box is in the study.”

“Must be the dresses” Sam commented. “Mrs. Kyle is going to do the alterations for us.”

“Audra knew about this?” Nick asked as he stood up.

Sam nodded. “Of course. She’s going to stand up for me and it takes a little while to get here from London so I gave her plenty of notice. I can’t wait to see the baby.” Sam paused and glanced over at Heath. “Nick, do you think he’ll be ok with the baby?”

Nick seemed confused by the question.

“Henry is about the same age that James was when he died.”

Nick hadn’t thought of that. The baby had died in a tragic fire less than five months ago and it still weighed heavily on all their minds. Nick smiled. “He’ll be fine and very happy to see Audra and her son. Better get that one cleaned up before the chocolate permanently sets on him.” Nick sat back down heavily; the memories of that fire all too clear in his mind.

* * * * *

The day had come and Sam was scared to death. She was holed up in a little room in the church and Audra was bugging her to get dressed so she could fix Sam’s hair. Thankfully Henry needed to eat so Audra was busy for the moment and off to the side taking care of her son. Sam wanted badly to see Tommy and see how he was doing but they wouldn’t let her. Said it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress. But Sam wasn’t dressed yet and they still said no. She heard laughter and knew the children were out there playing in the pews. Every once in a while she heard a deeper voice yell at them to stop climbing or they would ruin their clothes.

“Samantha, are you nervous?”

Sam jumped, not hearing her sister approach her.

“Sorry.” Audra smiled. “Everything you’re feeling is normal. I remember how scared I was when I got married but Tommy is the right person for you.”

“I miss Mama” Sam whispered. “I miss her so much.”

She could tell by the look on Audra’s face that her sister felt the same. “Sam, we’re running out of time. You need to get dressed so I can put your hair up.”

Sam nodded and walked over to where her dress was hanging. Quickly she put it on and studied herself in the full-length mirror. At that moment she felt so young but the woman in the mirror was not a child. She was a grown up with a woman’s figure, shoulder length hair and big green eyes. Sometimes Sam wished she could go back to being that little girl who loved to snuggle in her brothers’ arms.

“Time to grow up,” Sam whispered and then turned to face her sister. “Let’s do it,” she said and sat down in the chair.

An hour later Sam was ready and the church was filled. Someone knocked on the door and Audra opened it.

“Can I have a few minutes with the bride?”

Audra nodded and allowed Jarrod to enter. “I’ll be outside if Henry wakes.”

After she was gone Jarrod approached Sam and gently kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful.”

Sam blushed. “I’m a little scared” Sam admitted. “Jarrod, I know this is right but suddenly I want to be that little girl that you used to hold.”

“You still are.” Jarrod wrapped his arms around Sam and held her tight. “I am so proud of you. We all are.” A few minutes passed before Jarrod released his sister.

“It’s a good thing I’m not crying,” Sam stated, “otherwise Audra would kill me for ruining my make-up.” She smiled and then took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

Jarrod escorted her out of the room to where the rest of the bridal party was waiting.

* * * * *

It had been the strangest two weeks of Sam’s life. She and Tommy were homeless; splitting their time between the families while their own house was being built. She had to keep reminding herself that she was married, touching the ring on her finger often. And now she and Tommy were going to England with Audra and her husband, a gift from both families. They would have the opportunity to travel across Europe before returning home and starting their lives as a married couple. Sam was nervous and excited and going through so many emotions she couldn’t even describe them.

They had already said goodbye to the Kyles and now the family waited for the train that would start their journey back to New York. From there they would travel on a ship across the Atlantic Ocean. Tommy stood behind his wife, his hand resting on her shoulder. Audra was saying her goodbyes and Sam knew she would start crying when her brothers approached her.

Nick was the first to near her. “I’m going to miss you.” He hugged her tightly and then kissed her cheek. “I hope you’re not too old for hugs and kisses.”

“Never.” She smiled and felt her eyes water up. “Nick, you watch over everyone for me.” She sighed.

Jarrod was next and he spent ten minutes going over all the safety instructions he had given them and made them promise to write as often as they could. When he was done he engulfed Sam in his arms. Wordlessly he wiped her tears away, smiling the whole time. “You’ll have fun and you’ll be home before you know it. The kids are going to miss you so much and so will I.” A final kiss and Jarrod walked away.

Heath was the last one and he pulled Sam aside, far enough away so no one could hear them. “Sam, I have something to tell you.” He smiled and a twinkle was in his eyes, something Sam hadn’t seen in a long time. “Laura is pregnant,” he whispered. “We’ll tell the family when the time is right but I wanted you to know before you left.”

“Oh Heath.” Sam threw her arms around him, her tears flowing even harder. She pulled back from Heath and saw he had tears in his eyes too.

“Remember what you told me when James died?”

Sam nodded solemnly.

“I don’t think I ever said thank you. Thank you for being my sister and for helping me through the hardest thing I ever had to live through.” Heath sniffled. “This baby is going to make it.” He smiled broadly.

Sam was so happy to see him smile. It didn’t happen often and usually Leah was the only one who could coax it out of him.

“Sam, I love you and I’ll miss you so much.”

They heard the sound of a horn coming towards him.

“Sam, you better write…everyday.”

Sam nodded and then buried her face against Heath’s shoulder. He held her tightly until the train came and another round of hugs engulfed the sisters. Finally they had to board the train and settle in their seats.

She was on the journey of her life, but Sam knew where home was and as the train pulled away, she missed it already.