by Marci S.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No
copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
It was three days after they returned from Strawberry that
Heath found himself venturing to town alone for the first time. He had
explained to Nick that he needed to talk to the doctor and his older brother
had offered to go along. Actually, at first, he had insisted he would go but
Heath pleaded and finally convinced Nick that he was old enough to travel by
himself. And he was confident he could find his way and as he pulled into town
he stopped his horse and stared at the people walking on the main street. Heath
was still leery of the town folks…though most had been cordial the few times he
had been in town. Heath sighed heavily and then lightly kicked his horse to get
him moving. In a matter of minutes he was in front of the doctor’s office and
tying his horse up to the post. He opened the door to find the doctor behind
the desk, snoring softly. As he moved closer Heath noticed a letter gripped
tightly in one hand, while the other held a picture dangling precariously close
to the floor. Heath reached for it, thinking it would fall…
“What?” Startled, Ben jumped up and frantically searched for his gun.
“It’s Heath,” the blonde boy said as he stepped back.
“Oh!” Ben peered at the child as his hands still reached for the phantom gun.
Finally he realized what he was doing and embarrassed, rested his hands in his
pockets. “I haven’t carried a gun in years” he muttered before seating himself
again behind the desk. “Boy, what are you doing scaring me like that?”
“Sorry” Heath mumbled. “I was just trying to get the picture before it fell.”
They both stared at the picture, now on the floor with the glass frame
shattered. Ben glanced up at the boy and smiled. “Don’t worry, I can get a new
frame. Heath, what are you doing here? Did your mother run out of pain
medication already?”
“No!” Heath firmly shook his head. “I needed to ask you a question.” Heath
fixated his eyes on the doctor’s bag that sat on the desk. Too much time passed
and Ben became impatient.
“Son, I don’t have all day. What do you want to ask me?” Ben immediately
regretted his tone and smiled sheepishly. “Heath, is this about your mother?”
Silently the child nodded yes.
“Is she in more pain?”
Heath shrugged. “I think it’s the same.” He shuffled his feet, unable to voice
the words that had been bothering him for days.
“Heath, I can keep guessing but I doubt I’ll figure it out. It would be much
simpler if you just told me.” Ben studied the boy, overall pleased with his
outward appearance. He had gained a few pounds and it was most noticeable in
his face. He no longer looked gaunt and despite the situation with his mother,
Heath’s eyes seemed brighter and the dark circles were nearly gone. Though he
was clearly bothered by something, and the silence gnawed at Ben’s nerves.
“Heath?” Ben stood and approached the boy, placing a gentle hand on the child’s
shoulder. Heath sighed, momentarily comforted by the doctor’s touch.
“Did I cause my mother’s sickness?” he blurted out.
“What?” Ben wasn’t sure he had heard right. “Did someone tell you it was your
fault?” Heath wanted to say yes but his uncle was the last person Heath wanted
to talk about. He shrugged, though not convincingly.
“I caused a lot of problems for her…is that why she’s sick?”
“No!” Ben answered firmly, a strong hand on each shoulder. He looked Heath in
the eyes. “Your mother has cancer and you could have been the most perfect boy
in the world and she would still have cancer. Now get that thought out of your
mind, understand?”
Heath nodded, sighing with relief.
“Heath, I want to tell you a story and I want you to listen real careful, ok?”
“OK.” Heath quietly answered, his curiosity peaked. He watched the old man
saunter behind the desk and slowly sit down. Ben briefly glanced over the
letter before placing his elbows on the desk and staring up at Heath. “Heath,
sit down.” He wanted to stand but it became apparent that the doctor wouldn’t
start talking until he was seated. Heath grabbed a chair and carried it towards
the desk, placing it opposite the doctor. Ben clasped his hands together and
took a deep breath before beginning.
“When my wife became sick, it overwhelmed her in a matter of weeks. When it was
obvious she wasn’t going to live, all she wanted was to see her daughter, her
only living child. I had already wired Abby and she knew her mother was sick…I wired
her again to tell her she was dying and wanted badly to see her.” Ben paused,
licking his dry lips. He had never talked about this to anyone, not even Tom.
“Abby said she couldn’t travel that far while pregnant and I became enraged,
and disowned my only daughter. But worse, I couldn’t comfort my wife. All she
wanted was to see her daughter one last time, tell her she loved her and it
tormented her up until the day she died.” Ben smiled weakly. “The last word she
ever said was her daughter’s name.” Ben knew he was making the child
uncomfortable but there was a point to his story and he firmly believed Heath
would benefit from it.
“My brain told me that my daughter wasn’t at fault and she truly couldn’t
travel in her condition but my heart watched my wife deteriorate in front of me
and the only thing she begged for, I couldn’t give her. I put all the blame on
Abby’s shoulders” he added glumly and then picked up the letter.
“Abby wrote this and she poured her heart out…asking me to forgive her for something
that wasn’t her fault. She’ll always live with the guilt of not being able to
say goodbye and though we’ve reconciled, she’ll never be able to forget the way
I hurt her with my accusations.” Ben suddenly smiled, his eyes glancing at the
picture. “She wants me to move there and get to know my grandchildren.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Heath asked as he shifted uncomfortably in the
hard chair.
“Heath, you asked me if you’re to blame for your mother’s illness. I only know
part of your background but you obvious feel that you’ve done things in the
past that have caused…problems.” Ben stuttered over the right words. “I don’t
want you to torment yourself like my Abby has all these years.” Ben stood and
walked around the desk, leaning against the edge.
“Heath, I don’t know how long your mother has but don’t waste it. Anything you
feel you should say, you tell her. Even if you feel it’s trivial, let it out.
At some point it will be too late and that could haunt you the rest of your
life.” The boy looked puzzled. “Heath, do you understand what I’m trying to
say?”
“I guess so,” Heath answered, not too convincingly. “I’m sorry about your
wife,” he quietly added.
“You’re a good boy,” Ben said as he clapped Heath on the back. “And a true
Barkley, through and through.” Ben smiled. “When I examined your mother all she
did was talk about you. Heath, she’s very proud of the way you’ve changed since
moving here.” A small smile played on Heath’s face. Suddenly they heard the
school bell and the sound of children laughing as they exited the little
schoolhouse. Ben noticed the boy’s interest as he stared out the window.
“Go ahead. You’ve heard enough ramblings of an old man to last a lifetime.”
“Thank you” Heath quickly spit out as he exited the doctor’s office. He waited
in the shadows as he watched Eugene and Audra leave with their mother. Then he
saw Anna and jumped on his horse, riding in the direction she was walking. She
turned and saw him.
“Hi Heath.” Anna smiled as he jumped off of his horse and approached her.
“I’ll see you tomorrow” she said to the two girls who continued on their way
home.
“Heath, what are you doing here? How’s your mother?” Anna looked horrified.
“Sorry. I’m not sure if I was supposed to know but I heard Nick telling Rose.
I’m sorry she’s sick.”
“Anna, it’s fine. I don’t mind you knowing. Can I carry those?” Without waiting
for an answer he grabbed the books from the girl’s hands.
“Is it kind of strange?” Anna asked.
“Very” Heath admitted. “I think it’s going to be weirder when my father returns
home.”
“When’s that?”
“Tomorrow night…I think.” Heath didn’t know where he was and very little had
been said about his father since he had suddenly left. “Anna, do you want to go
riding with me? Maybe come over and meet my mother.”
“Sure” Anna said and then frowned. “But I can’t do it today. Mother has to go
into town and I promised I’d watched Joey for her.”
“Who’s that?” Heath asked.
“My little brother. Wanna come with me? I’m sure there’s fresh cookies and
lemonade waiting on the kitchen table.” Heath nodded and allowed Anna to lead
him towards her house.
“Anna!” Heath was surprised to see such a young boy totter over to them,
grinning when the girl picked him up.
“Joey, this is Heath. Say hi to him.” The little boy shyly hid his face against
his sister’s shoulder.
“Anna! What took you so long?”
“Sorry mother.”
“Hi Heath.”
“Hi Ma’am.” Heath nodded slightly, waiting for the lady to make him leave the
premises.
“Anna, I’ll be home soon. You and Heath can eat the cookies on the table but
don’t let Joey have more than two. And don’t let him out of your sight.” She
rushed past them, obviously late for something important.
“Heath, come on.” Anna waited until Heath tied his horse up and together they
entered the small house.
“Cookie” Joey called out, eliciting a chuckle from Heath. “He sounds just like
Eugene” Heath explained as they sat down at the table. “How old is he?”
“Just turned two,” Anna answered as she poured two glasses of lemonade. “Joey
no.” She stopped him from grabbing the glass and lifted it to his lips so he
could take a drink. “I don’t know how many babies my parents lost between me
and Joey.” She smiled. “Papa wanted a son but mother wasn’t going through it
again. Joey was a surprise to all of us.” The boy knew he was being talked
about and turned his head, staring at Heath.
“Joey, tell Heath how old you are.”
“No!” The child shook his head, though he held up two fingers. Both Anna and
Heath laughed at the child’s antics.
“Sometimes I wish I was that age again,” Heath suddenly said, surprising Anna
with his candor.
“Why?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” Heath sighed. “I’d like to do it all over again but this time
my mother tells my father about me and I grow up with my brothers and sister.”
“And your mother? Where would she live?”
“On the property somewhere so I could visit her all the time” Heath answered.
“I don’t think Mrs. Barkley would like that,” Anna surmised.
“I know.” Heath smiled weakly. “It’d be weirder than it is right now.” Heath
grew silent as he watched Joey fall asleep in his sister’s arms. “Let me put
him in his bed.” She walked away, returning a few minutes later.
“What do you want to do?” Heath asked.
“You can help me with my homework.” Anna reached down to where her books laid
on the floor. “You need to keep up so you can come back to school.”
“I’d rather do something else” Heath remarked, gently placing his hand on top
of Anna’s hand. She smiled, shaking her head no.
“Father will be home soon and if he catches us doing anything but my homework,
I’ll be an old woman before you can see me again.” Heath sighed and then
reached for another cookie. He tried to concentrate on the schoolwork but his
mind drifted, as his eyes couldn’t stay off of her face. She glanced up and
caught him staring at her. He smiled sheepishly.
“I should be going” Heath said as he stood. “Nick said he’d come find me if I
wasn’t home in a couple of hours. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Maybe” Anna quietly said, her eyes searching Heath’s face. He bent over and
kissed her, their lips eagerly meeting. Seemed like an eternity to Heath before
he pulled away, a smile plastered on his face.
“See ya,” he said before rushing out of the house, afraid of what might happen
if he stayed any longer.
* * * * * * * *
Tom became suspicious halfway through the trip home. He knew
something was wrong but no matter how he phrased his questions Jarrod assured
him that all his siblings and mother were just fine. Jarrod was never the most
talkative of his brood but father and son had always been able to engage in
conversation no matter the situation. But this time was different; Jarrod kept
his eyes straight ahead and never spoke unless answering one of his father’s
many questions. Tom finally gave up when they reached Barkley property and the
rest of the ride was in silence. They entered the house and Jarrod took the
small bag from his father’s hand.
“I’ll take this upstairs. Mother is waiting for you in the family room.” Tom’s
eyes briefly followed his oldest son as he climbed the stairs. Then he noticed
the closed study door…but before he could investigate he heard his wife quietly
call out his name.
“Victoria.” She stood and greeted her husband with a light kiss before
motioning towards the chair.
“Tom, please sit. We need to talk.” He wanted to suggest that a bath and change
of clothing should be his first priority but something in his wife’s voice kept
that sentiment inside. Added to Jarrod’s strange behavior on the way home and
Tom knew his suspicions were correct…something had happened while he was away,
something of magnitude based on his wife’s rigid posture.
“Are the children alright?”
“Yes dear” Victoria answered and Tom’s anxiety lowered a tad.
“Then what’s wrong? Jarrod was acting strange the whole ride home.” Victoria
eyed the study where Leah was sleeping.
“Heath’s mother is here…”
“What?” Tom stood. “Why?” So many things were going through his mind but he
would never have guessed the truth; thankfully his wife didn’t make him wait
long.
“Nick and Heath discovered she was sick…dying and Heath wouldn’t leave her.
Nick raced back here anguished over his decision to leave Heath in Strawberry
and we both went back and retrieved him.” Victoria paused and watched a wave of
emotions wash over her husband’s face. Part of her was still so angry with him
for leaving that the sympathy she would have normally felt stayed deep inside,
far from her conscious self. Victoria allowed him a few minutes of silence to
digest the information he had just learned.
“She’s here because that’s the only way Heath would come home.” Slowly Tom sat,
his eyes again staring at the closed study door.
“We set up a bed in there because she’s too weak to climb the stairs unaided.”
Victoria glanced at the wall clock.
“Heath and Nick haven’t come home yet and the little ones are asleep. I’m going
up to bed. Goodnight Tom.” Tom reached his hand out before quickly retracting
it. A stranger or a casual acquaintance would accept Victoria’s stoic
appearance but Tom could read his wife like a book and saw the anger,
manifested in her eyes and the stiff way she moved. At that moment Tom was so
shocked by the news that he couldn’t properly confront his wife and get to the
bottom of her anger. He felt the morning would be a more appropriate time and
allowed her to walk away.
“Goodnight dear” he whispered, long after she had left the room. Tom approached
the study but didn’t try to open the door. He needed time before he saw Leah,
time to comprehend just what she meant to him and how he would help Heath deal
with the loss of his mother. Tom sullenly sat on the steps; his own needs no
longer a part of his thoughts. He had no idea how long he sat there before the
door opened and his sons awkwardly entered the house.
“Nick, keep it down.” It was apparent by Nick’s singing and the way he leaned
on Heath, that he was quite drunk.
“You’re home” Heath exclaimed, and then glanced up at his older brother. “Nick,
pipe down.” Nick mumbled something inaudible and seemed to lean farther into
his brother. Tom almost laughed at the look on Heath’s face as he tried
valiantly to keep them both standing.
“Is he drunk?” Tom demanded to know.
“Yes sir” Heath answered, trying to stand a bit taller. “But I didn’t have
anything to drink cause one of us had to get us home. Nick, stop that awful
noise before you wake my mother. Let’s go upstairs.” Tom got out of the way as
he watched Heath struggle with the first step, fearing both sons would soon
tumble.
“Heath, let me help you.”
“No sir” Heath forcibly said. “I got him this far, I’ll get him to bed.”
Against his better judgment Tom resisted his urge to help and watched as the
boys slowly climbed the stairs. He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath
until they reached the top and he sighed with relief. Feeling like he’d been
kicked hard in the stomach Tom poured himself a drink and sat on the stairs,
contemplating the dying woman on the other side of the door.
“Welcome home Tom, I missed you so much.
Father it’s so good to see you. How was your trip?
Daddy, what’d you bring me?”
Tom said those words that he had hoped to hear upon his return. He sat there
nursing his drink, stunned by the course of events that had transpired in the
two weeks he’d been gone. He thought about his meetings with Sam Drake and
wondered if it was all worth it. Tom heard footsteps and saw Eugene rushing
towards him.
“Daddy!” The little boy jumped into his father’s arms, hugging him tightly. “We
have to be quiet” he said pointing towards the study.
“Daddy, read me a story. Please!” Tom held his youngest son, hiding the tears
in his eyes from the child.
“I can’t breathe,” Eugene squeaked out as Tom’s hold loosened.
“Let’s go in the living room,” Tom said, knowing there should be a book lying
around somewhere. Thirty minutes later Eugene was asleep in his father’s arms.
Tom continued to rub the boy’s back; needing the comfort the touch gave him. He
felt alone at the moment, dreading his encounter with Leah in the morning.
Seeing someone he once had feelings for dying would be hard enough but doing it
in front of his wife scared the dickens out of him. And then to face Heath…Tom
sighed deeply.
“Welcome home Tom” he whispered, and then looked upward for some guidance.
Tom was the first to the breakfast table, though that wasn’t
hard considering he had never gone to bed in the first place. He was on his
second cup of coffee, courtesy of Silas who was up and cooking food in the
kitchen. Tom wasn’t sure how long he sat there before the children filed in one
by one. First Jarrod who nodded curtly at his father, then Audra who squealed
in delight at seeing her father for the first time in two weeks, and then
Eugene; tired and whining that he didn’t want to go to school. Victoria was
with her youngest child and barely acknowledged her husband as she sat on the
opposite end of the table. Tom started to ask about Heath and Nick when he
heard his blonde son’s voice and gathered that the child was taking a tray of
food to his mother. Tom had trouble imaging that Leah was so sick she couldn’t
eat at the table. Or she may have preferred to eat without the tension that
surely would have occurred if she joined the family for a meal. As Silas
started serving the food Nick strolled in and plopped heavily into his chair.
He didn’t say a word as he grabbed for a cup of coffee and took a long sip,
yelping when the hot beverage burned his throat.
“Damn coffee” he muttered as he slammed the cup down on the table.
“No cursing at the table,” Eugene exclaimed with a little laugh. He wondered
why no one was laughing with him, his big brown eyes darting around the table.
“Daddy, didn’t you hear him?” Eugene asked. Tom ignored his youngest son, his
eyes never leaving Nick’s face. Tom noticed the red eyes that were trying so
hard to avoid his father’s gaze and the day’s worth of beard that Nick hadn’t
bothered to shave. He was angry about Nick’s behavior the previous evening and
could no longer keep that anger to himself; no son of his would make a fool of
himself in public.
“Nick!” Tom loudly said his son’s name. Immediately Tom knew all eyes were on
him and briefly he felt this was the wrong time and place to admonish his son.
“Nick, what happened last night? I do not want you walking around drunk in town
and you know it. And why would you take Heath with you?” Nick just stared at
him, his face registering no emotions.
“Nick, answer me!” Tom glanced around the table; both Eugene and Audra kept
their eyes glued to their food, though neither was eating. Jarrod and Victoria
were both staring at him, rigid and unmoving, sensing the tension that suddenly
gripped the dining room.
“No!” Nick stood and leaned over with his hands on the table, his eyes blazing
with fire. He could no longer contain the anger that he’d been carrying around,
the anger that now threatened to overwhelm him.
“Where have you been the last two weeks?” Nick demanded to know.
“Nick.” He heard his mother’s calm warning but it didn’t register through his
anger.
“Where were you when I took your son to see his mother? Or when I had to leave
him there cause he wouldn’t leave his dying mother?” Nick stood tall, pausing
to take a deep breath. His father was angry too but he no longer cared. “Where
were you when mother cried herself to sleep cause that woman you slept with is
now sleeping in her house?”
“Nick, that’s enough” Victoria cried out, ashamed that her son had heard her.
Tom stood motionless. At that point, even if Nick had wanted to stop, he
couldn’t have. Father and son stared at each other, neither backing down.
“I am his brother” Nick bellowed. “I am not his nursemaid and I am NOT his
father. “He’s your mistake…”
“Heath” Jarrod called out as all eyes turned to the doorway. How long the boy
had been standing there was unknown but it was apparent by the look on his face
that he had heard enough of Nick’s rant. He tore out of the room before anyone
could stop him. Nick’s face quickly registered the shame he felt but then he
turned and saw the anger on Tom’s face, directed towards him.
“Nicholas Barkley” Tom said as he grabbed his son’s arm, and then the collar of
his shirt. Jarrod jumped up, ready to intervene if father and son came to
blows. Tom was breathing hard as his free hand came up, ready to strike his
son. Nick braced himself for the expected blow but it never came as Tom’s hand
stopped in midair, the anger suddenly abated, as Nick’s words seemed to leave
the older man reeling.
“Get out of here” he whispered, and then sat down, hiding his face in his
hands. He heard the cries of his youngest children as Victoria ushered them out
of the room. He heard heavy footsteps as Nick stormed out also. Tom didn’t know
how long Jarrod stood there but soon the room was empty and Tom sat alone…as
the consequences of his past deed sat heavily on his shoulders. Nick was right;
as much as they all cared about Heath and loved the child he had been borne
because of his father’s mistake and probably for the first time, Tom realized
just how much he expected from his family. Especially Nick and Victoria. Tom
sighed deeply, his wife and son weighing on his mind. Nick was neither a boy
nor a man and he tried so hard to oblige his father’s wishes. Tom knew how he
felt about Heath but meeting the boy’s mother had made everything too real; his
father’s transgression could no longer be hidden away…as if it never happened.
It seemed like an eternity since Tom had ordered his sons to accept Heath as
their brother and to ignore how the boy came to be. How could I be so naïve Tom
inwardly chastised himself? Had he ever apologized to his children? Tom tried
to remember once telling them he was sorry for turning their lives upside
down…but he couldn’t. They were Barkleys and he expected them to act a certain
way, as their father demanded. He had apologized so many times to Victoria but
had he truly listened to the pain in her voice as she tried to accept what her
husband had done. Tom had brought a troubled child home and expected his family
to accept him…and they had. There was no denying the love they felt for Heath
but there was also no denying the anger that simmered in each of them and now
threatened to overwhelm them all.
“Leah.” Tom allowed himself to say her name. The presence of the petite woman
brought everything to the forefront. They could no longer ignore that Tom had
cheated on his wife, that Heath was the product of an affair. Tom stood and
slowly walked out of the dining room. He needed to see Leah, talk to her. He
stopped at the door and heard his children’s voices before they appeared at the
top of the steps. Victoria was with them as they descended towards him. He
couldn’t look his wife in the eyes and thankfully she didn’t stop, didn’t
question why he was standing before the study door. Neither child said a word
as their mother pushed them out the door, heading for school. After they left
Tom listened for more voices, wondering if Nick and Jarrod were still home. The
silent house answered his question and he again turned his attention towards
the door. He knocked and waited for an answer. Momentarily he hoped there’d be
none, suddenly afraid to see the woman beyond the closed door. But he heard a
quiet voice and had no choice but to open the door. Leah was seated at the desk
with her eyes intently watching him. She stayed motionless as Tom entered the
study. He was amazed at how different the room looked with the pool table gone,
replaced with a bed and nightstand. After a few minutes, his eyes stopped
roaming the room and finally took in Leah. Though obviously thinner in the
face, he was relieved to see she hadn’t changed that much in the past few
months.
“Leah.” He quietly said. Tom had rarely been at a lost for words, but this was
one of those times when he didn’t know what to say.
“Tom, I’m sorry” Leah said, breaking the silence. Tom stared at her, confused
by the apology. “I heard the fight,” she quickly explained. “I’m sorry I’m
causing so much trouble. Please Tom, take me back to Strawberry.” She stood and
Tom gasped, unable to hide his shock. Her body showed what her face hadn’t and
Leah reached for her robe, hastily putting it on. It took a moment for Tom to
gain his composure and find his voice.
“Did you know when I came for Heath?”
Leah shook her head. “I hadn’t been feeling well but it wasn’t until Heath was
gone that Hannah took me to San Francisco to see a proper doctor.” As she spoke
Leah slowly sat, the pain apparent from the look on her face. “Sorry” she
mumbled and then waited for the pain to cease. “I don’t seem to be able to
stand much anymore.” Tom stared at her.
“I don’t know what to say,” he finally admitted, nervously running both hands
through his hair. She smiled sadly. “It’s ok Tom. Nothing needs to be said.”
Tom took a deep breath, amazed at this woman’s strength. “Victoria was right in
bringing you here. Leah I can’t take you back…you shouldn’t be alone and it
would kill Heath to be separated from you right now.” Leah hid the immense
relief she felt upon hearing this.
“Tom, the change in Heath is amazing. You’ve done a wonderful job with him.”
“It’s not me,” Tom protested. “You have Nick to thank for Heath’s recovery. No
matter what you’ve heard this morning Nick has grown so close to his little
brother and Heath idolizes him.”
“I know” Leah remarked. “I saw it when they came to visit me. And I heard it in
Heath’s voice when he talked about Nick.” Leah paused. “I think it killed Nick
when I encouraged him to leave Heath and go home. I didn’t handle that right at
all.”
Neither did I Tom silently thought, promising himself he would figure out a way
to fix everything.
“Leah, you should eat.” Tom noticed the uneaten food resting on the desk. Leah
glanced at the tray but made no movement towards the food.
“Tom, I think I should rest now.”
“Ok.” Tom said; trying to figure out if he’d said anything he had planned to.
Sighing he turned and walked out, hoping there’d be time later to say what had
to be said.
* * * * * * * *
Heath waited until the children filed out of the
schoolhouse. Anna was one of the last ones and he approached her as she sat
down to eat her lunch.
“Anna.” She looked up, surprised to see Heath standing there. “What’s wrong?”
she immediately asked. Anna knew how much Heath disliked the teacher and it
must be serious for him to come on school property during the day.
“Can we talk?” Heath quietly asked.
“What are you doing here?” Heath turned, rolling his eyes at the nearing boy.
“Tad, leave him alone.” Anna removed the food from her lap and stood.
“Anna, stay out of this” Heath quietly said as he faced the other boy.
“Leave now or you’ll be sorry.” Tad spit out as other children surrounded them.
Heath glanced around, eyeing his siblings who stood nearby. He was thankful
that Audra held Eugene back, knowing his little brother would step in and try
to protect him.
“You want me to leave, you make me.” Heath said, gazing up at the much larger
boy. That was the invitation Tad needed as he charged at Heath, knocking the
blonde boy to the ground. At first Heath just protected himself, easily
deflecting most of Tad’s punches. He heard the shouts of the other children as
he finally got the upper hand and pinned Tad to the ground.
“Give up?” Heath shouted above the grunts of the other boy.
“What is going on here?” Heath suddenly found himself being lifted off of Tad
and he struggled to gain his balance.
“Who started this?” Mr. Hale demanded, his eyes on Heath. “What are you doing
here?”
“Tad started it” Anna insisted. “Heath just came to talk to me and Tad won’t
leave him alone.” Mr. Hale stared at the larger boy, still on the ground
moaning.
“Everyone inside. Now” the teacher ordered. “Tad, get up and go inside.” The
children filed in one by one, until only Heath and Anna were left.
“Anna, what are you waiting for?” Anna glanced at Heath, frowning. “Mr. Hale,
please! Can I talk to Heath for a few minutes? It’s still lunchtime,” she added
hopefully. Against his better judgment the teacher agreed.
“I want you inside in fifteen minutes or I’ll send one of the children for your
father.” They watched the teacher go inside.
“My father’s out of town” Anna remarked, giggling softly. “Let’s go.” She took
Heath’s hand and led him away from the little schoolhouse. When she felt they
were far enough away she stopped and faced Heath.
“Heath, what’s wrong?” He hadn’t said a word in nearly five minutes and she
started to worry. “Is your mother worse?”
“No.” Heath sighed as they both sat on the hard ground. Quietly he explained
the conversation he had heard that morning.
“Are you angry with Nick?” Anna asked when Heath was finished telling his
story.
“I don’t think so,” Heath answered, though hesitant. “I don’t think he meant
it…”
“He didn’t” Anna insisted, so confident that Heath’s eyes widened. “Rose is
always complaining that Nick says something and then apologizes two minutes
later.” That didn’t seem to help Heath much.
“Anna, I think I’m going to take my mother and go somewhere. Not back to
Strawberry but away from here. I don’t want to see them all angry and hurt and
I don’t want Mrs. Barkley to cry cause my mother is there.”
“I’d miss you if you left.” Anna gently took Heath’s hand. “Heath, you can’t
take care of her by yourself. Promise me you won’t take off.”
“Anna…”
“Promise me” Anna demanded, her voice rising slightly.
“I promise” Heath said a few minutes later, hoping it was a promise he could
keep.
“I know you’ll keep your word” Anna said, squeezing Heath’s hand. “Talk to Nick
and talk to your father. Heath, none of this is your fault and running off
isn’t going to fix anything. Try to remember that.”
“I guess” Heath mumbled, and Anna wondered if he had heard anything she said.
“You should get back,” Heath said, knowing she’d been gone much longer than the
teacher had allowed. He stood and pulled Anna to her feet.
“Heath, I’ll go back but I expect you to be waiting for me after school.” He
shrugged, eliciting a sigh from Anna.
“Forget school,” she suddenly said. “I’m not leaving your sight until I’m sure
you ain’t going anywhere.”
“Anna, don’t! Don’t get in trouble cause of me. I’m already causing enough
problems. Please go back to school.” Anna didn’t seem convinced at all. “I’ll
be right here waiting. Maybe we can go riding today.”
“It’s a date,” Anna said, placing a quick kiss on Heath’s cheek. “I’ll be here
five minutes after the bell rings. Don’t be late.”
“I won’t.” Heath promised. Anna still seemed hesitant to leave but finally she
turned and walked off, never looking back. Heath watched her go before mounting
his horse and riding off. He’d be back cause at that moment there was nowhere
else he wanted to be.
It was late in the evening when Heath decided it was time to
go home. He didn’t want to, really didn’t want to be near any of them but he
knew his mother would worry and that was the last thing she needed right now.
In the stable he immediately noticed that Nick’s horse was not there; Heath
found it strange that his brother was not home yet. Though after this morning
maybe Nick had the same idea and decided to spend the day away from the family.
“I’ll clean you up in a bit” he whispered to the horse and then walked a few
feet to where Lady stood. Heath smiled at his horse as he petted her nose. The
horse’s leg was still healing and Heath wasn’t sure when…or for that matter
if…he’d ever be able to ride her again.
“I’ll bring you a treat” Heath said and then hurried out of the stable and to
the house. He was confronted the minute he walked in.
“Where have you been?” Tom asked as soon as he saw Heath.
“With Anna” Heath quietly answered, glancing at Jarrod. “Why? What’s wrong?
Where’s Nick?” Upon hearing that, Tom’s face fell.
“We were hoping he was with you” Tom muttered and then turned towards his wife.
“I’m sure he’s fine, just cooling off somewhere.” Tom was admittedly worried
about his son. It was so unlike Nick to shirk his responsibilities but he had
not shown up anywhere on the ranch that day. Tom had looked, as had Jarrod and
the few men they could free up…but they could find no sign of Nick anywhere.
Heath quietly entered the study to see that his mother was already sleeping. He
walked out, closing the door behind him. He had a feeling he knew where Nick
was but he didn’t want to say anything. Heath waited until they weren’t
looking, grabbed a couple of pieces of fruit and sneaked out without being
noticed. He grabbed his horse and rode away, hoping he could find the little
shack that Nick had taken him to months ago. Heath had always had a good sense
of direction but the ranch was so vast and there were areas he still wasn’t
familiar with. In the dark everything looked the same and suddenly he felt lost
and ready to give up. Heath stopped and briefly stared at the stars. He thought
he was going in the right direction and he allowed the cool air to clear his
head before starting up again. Ten minutes later he saw it, and more
importantly he saw a horse tied up outside. As he got closer Heath saw that it
was Nick’s horse and sighed with relief. Yet his stomach started to churn,
afraid that Nick wouldn’t want him there.
“Nick, it’s Heath and I’m coming in.” Heath entered and noticed how lit it was
inside, wondering where Nick had found the lantern. His brother was sitting on
the floor, leaning against the wall, and he refused to look up. Heath passed
the punching bag, shocked that it was torn and lying on the ground. He could
only imagine how much anger had made it look like that.
“Nick, they’re all worried about you.” Heath sat next to his brother and took
the fruit out of his pocket. “I thought you might be hungry.” He held out the
apples and waited until Nick finally took one, noisily biting into it.
“Heath, I didn’t mean what I said.”
“Don’t matter. You were only speaking the truth.”
“No!” Nick reached over and roughly cupped the back of Heath’s neck. “Damn it
Heath, you’re the only good thing that’s come out of this whole mess.”
“But I’m still the center of it all” Heath lamented.
“Yeah, you are.” Nick agreed. “Heath, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s all
them…or I should say it’s father who’s done everything.” Heath didn’t say
anything, as he listened to Nick finish eating the apple.
“Nick, ever wish you weren’t born?”
“No” Nick answered truthfully. “You?” He glanced over to see Heath nod his head
yes.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Naw.” Heath answered. “It seems so silly now. I never cared about money except
my mama wouldn’t have had to work so hard if we had any. I was just never happy
and I didn’t know why. Something was always missing…out of sorts. Nick you
reckon I knew I had a family somewhere?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Nick shrugged and then reached for the other apple. “You
happy now?”
“No” Heath admitted. “Nick, you know what I was thinking?” Heath glanced over
to see Nick shrug his shoulders again. “My mama’s got to die before things get
right again. Isn’t that an awful thing for me to think? Nick, I swear I don’t
want her to die but I don’t want you to be angry or your mother crying…I want
the weirdness to go away and it ain’t gonna while she’s here.” Heath only
paused long enough to take a breath. “Nick, I promised Anna I wouldn’t but I
think I should take my mother somewhere. Do you think that’d help? Nick?”
Without warning Nick wrapped his arm around Heath and covered the boy’s mouth
with his hand.
“I’ll release you when you stop talking nonsense, understand?” Heath mumbled
something inaudible.
“You listen real careful! I’m not angry with you and I’m not angry with your
mother. You leaving is not going to fix anything. In fact, it just might make
me angrier cause I’d lose a good worker.” Nick smiled slightly. “I think I’d
miss you hanging around me also. So you get that thought out of your mind cause
it ain’t an option. Got it?” Nick stared down at Heath who seemed to be
thinking that over. Slowly he took his hand away.
“But Nick…” That was as far as Heath got before his brother quickly covered his
mouth again.
“You’re not listening, are you?” Nick’s voice rose with mock anger. “Now, I
don’t want to hear another word about you taking off with your mother. Come on
Heath…think clearly for a moment. Would you go back to Strawberry where your
uncle is?”
“Only with a shotgun in my hand” Heath answered, once his mouth was free.
“Your mother needs medicine so you’ll have to get money. Did you figure that
out yet?”
“Dang it Nick, I haven’t figured anything out yet. Just know something has to
change cause this whole family is going to fall apart and it will be my fault.”
“Is this a private pity party or can anyone join?” Both boys turned towards the
door and saw Jarrod standing there. “I thought Heath might know where you were
so I followed him.” Jarrod explained as he neared them. “I waited outside cause
I figured you two might need to talk.”
“And of course you listened the whole time” Nick sarcastically muttered.
“Of course” Jarrod said with a slight smile on his face. He stared at the
punching bag.
“Nick, let me see your hands.” At first Nick protested but then brought them
out for Jarrod to study. The left hand looked fine but the right was swollen
and already bruising.
“Move your fingers!”
“Jarrod, I’m fine.” Nick tried to pull his hand away but Jarrod kept a strong
hold on it.
“Move them!” Jarrod demanded. Nick muttered something under his breath but
finally complied; grunting softly from the pain each finger caused.
“I don’t think anything’s broken; put ice on it when we get home.”
“Who says I’m going home?” Nick asked, glaring at Jarrod.
“I do.” Jarrod sat down in front of both brothers. “You’re as bad as he is.”
Jarrod pointed at Heath. “Now Nick is right,” Jarrod said, addressing Heath.
“You are not going anywhere and neither is your mother. We are Barkleys and
we’re going to stick through this together.”
“Now you sound like father” Nick angrily spit out.
“Nick, I know you’re mad at him…”
“And you’re not?” Nick asked incredulously. “Jarrod, if you had heard mother
crying...”
“I wish you had told me,” Jarrod countered. “Maybe I could have talked to her.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it” Nick retorted. “It was bad enough just hearing
it. I’ve never heard mother cry before” he quietly added, shivering slightly.
“Jarrod, I can’t get it out of my mind.”
“I know.” Jarrod reached over and laid a comforting hand on his brother’s leg.
“Nick, I’m sure mother never intended for anyone to hear her pain. That’s why
she waited until it was night and everyone should have been sleeping.”
“My stomach was hungry” Nick protested. “And then I couldn’t sleep the next
night. I thought getting drunk would help…”
“That doesn’t help” Heath whispered. He had been so quiet his older brothers
had almost forgotten he was sitting there. “I tried staying drunk for days but
it never seemed to help.” His mind started to wander back to a time he had
worked so hard to forget.
“Hey, don’t start bawling like a baby” Nick said as he placed his arm around
his little brother’s shoulders.
“I’m ok” Heath insisted though he didn’t protest the arm that remained draped
over him.
“We’re all ok” Jarrod remarked. “And we’ll stay that way as long as we stick
together. We’ll protect each other and the children and we’ll let father deal
with the rest.”
Nick snorted upon hearing this.
“Nick you didn’t see him…I stayed after you stormed out. I think he finally
realized everything he has asked of you and Heath and mother. I’m confident
he’ll figure out a way to fix things and I’m going to sit back and let him. Now
I want to hear no more of running away or hiding from everyone. Do you two
understand?”
“Well Anna wants me to stay” Heath said, with a smile on his face.
“Oh…and what we want doesn’t count.” Nick lightly cuffed the back of Heath’s head.
“I didn’t say that.” Suddenly Heath stood, his arms flailing with excitement.
“You know Tad Martin. Big, ugly kid…well he came after me and I pinned him down
real good. Nick, I used that move you showed me and he would have given up if
Ole Mr. Hale hadn’t shown up and pulled me off of him.” Heath glanced from Nick
to Jarrod and wondered why they weren’t as excited as he was.
Jarrod stood. “Heath, I know him and I know his family. Stay away from him,
ok?” He neared the blonde boy and tousled his hair.
“I ain’t afraid of him.” Heath stared at the punching bag. “Boy howdy Nick, you
sure didn’t give it much of a chance did you?” He turned to see Jarrod pulling
Nick to his feet. “Nick, you’ll have to show me a new move for next time. He
might be smart enough to remember the one I used today.”
“The only move you need is to gain weight and grow a few inches.” Nick patted
Heath’s head, knowing that would annoy the younger boy. Heath had him down on
the ground before Nick knew what hit him.
“I have grown.” Heath laughed at the shocked look on Nick’s face. “I just don’t
think you’ve noticed. Give up?”
“No way” Nick spit out as the struggle began. Jarrod stood back, partly annoyed
because it was late and he wanted to get home, but also enjoying the laughter
that both Nick and Heath emitted between grunts. It was really no contest and
even with a sore hand Nick could have easily pinned Heath. But he allowed Heath
to stay in until he was getting tired and wanted to end it.
“Give up?” Nick growled, pinning Heath’s arms to the floor.
“I guess” Heath said, knowing it was the only way Nick would release him. Heath
sprang to his feet, barely breathing hard. “Nick, when are you going to teach
me to break horses? You said I had to get stronger and I am.” Nick stared at
him. If he had gained any weight Nick sure couldn’t see it.
“Jarrod, you know that fence that blew down? Think it will put some muscle on
his arms?”
“Maybe” Jarrod answered nonchalantly. “Think he’ll stay away from his
girlfriend long enough to put a full day’s work in?”
“Don’t know” Nick responded. “I suppose she’ll get sick of him eventually and
send him back to us.”
“That’s not funny.” Heath rolled his eyes, though secretly he enjoyed the
attention of both brothers.
“I’ll show ya. Soon I’ll be breaking horses better than you ever did.” He
walked out, ignoring the laughter that suddenly sprang up.
“Ready to go home?” Jarrod asked Nick as he bent down to grab the lantern.
“I guess. Hopefully they’re sleeping and I won’t have to face father tonight.”
“With three missing sons I find that highly unlikely. Let’s go.” Jarrod placed
his arm around Nick’s shoulders and guided his brother out.
* * * * * * * *
Tom stood in the doorway and watched for any of his sons to
come home. He was extremely pleased to see all three ride up and waited in the
house for them to take care of their horses. They walked in together and
stopped when they saw their father approach.
“Nick, are you alright?”
“Yes sir” Nick answered curtly. Tom smiled; there was so much that needed to be
said but he didn’t have a clue how to begin. Lucky for him it was late and he
would have another sleepless night to figure out how to mend fences.
“Good!” Tom lightly grasped Nick’s shoulder. “Your mother is still up. Let her
know you’re fine and then get a good night’s rest. All of you!” His eyes took
in all three.
“We’ll deal with things…later.” Tom almost laughed at the look of relief that
crossed Nick’s face. He moved out of the way and they quickly walked past him…eager
to reach the safe haven of their rooms. Tom never thought he’d see the day that
any of his sons were eager to get away from him. Yeah he had a made a mistake
and he had hurt his family but he would never regret what came from his
mistake. Heath! That boy fit in the family as if he should have always been
there. And Tom would do anything he had to in order to make things right. He
quickly locked up the house and then went upstairs.
Leah leaned back in the chair and watched the child play on
the floor, happily talking to the wood animals he had lined up in a row. She
wanted to think that he reminded her of Heath, but truth be told, she couldn’t
recall Heath ever playing contently on the floor. Heath had a few toys as a
young boy but Leah was always working and Heath would be sleeping by the time
she got home. When he became school age he started working and playtime became
a thing of the past.
“Wanna hold this?” Eugene’s voice brought her back to the present. “This is my
horse.” He held out the figure and waited until Leah took it. “Daddy won’t let
me have a horse until I’m older so I pretend he’s a real one.” Eugene bent over
and picked up another animal.
“Heath has a horse” he exclaimed, “but he can’t ride her until she’s better. I
named her all by myself and Heath likes the name.” Eugene grabbed the horse out
of Leah’s hand and replaced it with an elephant. He started running around the
room, making noises that only a child could produce.
“Eugene!” Victoria heard the child and came rushing out of the kitchen. She
didn’t know Leah was there and stopped when seeing her. The two women had
spoken sporadically since Leah arrived, but Heath or Tom had always been in the
room with them.
“Is he bothering you?” Victoria asked, for lack of anything better to say.
“No, he’s fine.” Leah kept her eyes on Eugene, assuming that Victoria would
quickly retreat from the room. She was wrong, shocked to see the petite woman
near her.
“Is there anything I can get for you? Tom is out riding with Audra and the boys
won’t be home for hours.”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Victoria nodded and turned to leave. She didn’t get very
far before Leah called out and asked her to wait.
“Can we talk? Please!” Victoria wanted to say no, having successfully avoided
this woman for nearly a week. She knew a talk would happen, had to happen at
some point, but Victoria wasn’t ready and started to voice that sentiment.
“I’m sorry” Leah said before Victoria could open her mouth. “I can’t imagine
how difficult this must be for you and I don’t think I would be so gracious if
I was in your position.” Leah paused briefly and then glanced over at Eugene.
He had found a picture book and was lying on the floor, flipping through it.
“There is something I need to say when the others are not around.” Leah lowered
her voice, even though Eugene was totally captivated by his book.
“Do you love Heath?” It was an abrupt question and one Victoria wasn’t
expecting, but she didn’t need long to contemplate her answer.
“Yes I do.” Victoria gauged the other woman’s reaction, and noticed that Leah
seemed happy with the answer.
“He’s very fond of you…of everyone in this family.” Leah smiled weakly.
“Knowing Heath will have a family makes dying a little easier. I want to give
you my blessing…it’s your choice but I’m fine with you adopting Heath, becoming
his mother.” Victoria’s eyes widened, the only sign of the shock this statement
registered.
“I don’t mean…to pressure you or even suggest… you do this.” Leah stumbled over
her words. “But if you decide it’s a direction you want to go I’m fine with it.
Of course I won’t mention this to Heath” she quickly added, her eyes never
leaving Victoria’s face.
“I don’t know what to say” Victoria whispered when the silence became
unbearable. “I never thought about this because Heath already has a mother.”
She shrugged apologetically. “It will be Heath’s choice, but I’ll love him
regardless of what legal papers say.”
“I know” Leah quietly remarked. “Is he alright? He tells me he is but I think
he’s protecting me. He said the nightmares are gone but I don’t believe him.
Are they?”
“No, not completely.” Victoria sat down in the chair next to Leah. “He rarely
wakes up screaming but I do hear him pacing the hallway to calm himself.”
Victoria suddenly smiled. “He has been known to go into Nick’s room and sleep
on the floor after an extremely bad nightmare. The first time created quite a
ruckus when Nick woke up and thought he was stepping on the floor, landing on
Heath instead.” She laughed at the memory of Nick yelling, first from shock and
then from the fear that he had harmed his little brother. Needless to say, the
family had awakened very rudely that morning. Victoria’s smile brought a smile
to Leah’s face.
“I’m glad Heath has an older brother now” Leah remarked.
“He has two” Victoria quickly corrected. “He’s closest with Nick but he’s
building a relationship with each of his siblings.”
“And his father?” Leah quietly asked. “Are they getting close?”
“It’s a work in progress,” Victoria answered. “It’s hard to get to know your
son when you meet him for the first time as a teenager.” That came out harsher
than Victoria had intended…or maybe it was just right she silently mused,
watching Leah for her reaction. It was there in her eyes, as they briefly narrowed.
But just as quickly, the anger passed and Leah studied the older woman.
“Has Tom told you how we met?”
“No” Victoria answered very quietly. Tom had tried, but she had refused to
listen. Said she didn’t care and it wouldn’t change what had occurred between
her husband and the other woman. Yet, at that moment, her curiosity was peaked
and she wanted to know. She remembered her son and turned towards him.
“Eugene, do me a favor and go read your book upstairs, ok?” The child looked
questioningly at his mother and then at Leah. But he didn’t protest as he stood
up and walked out of the room. Victoria silently waited until she was sure the
child was upstairs.
“How did you meet my husband?” she asked chillingly. If her tone bothered Leah,
the younger woman didn’t show it.
“I was working that night” she slowly began, “and I took out the garbage and he
was lying there, covered in blood.” Victoria gasped slightly as Leah paused.
“I had two men carry him to my home and for a week I took care of him and he
wasn’t conscious enough to even tell me his name.” Leah smiled weakly. “I
called him Joe for lack of anything better.” The smile slowly faded as Victoria
stone masked face stared at her. “He would call out names and later, I would
learn they were his wife and children. Finally he woke and he was confused and
I gently soothed him until he fell back to sleep.” Leah remotely told her story
from the present, refusing to allow herself to go back to that time.
“I fell in love, quickly and hard and one night he gave in to my desires.” Leah
looked away, understandably embarrassed as she related her tale. “Everything
changed in the morning…he was distant and cold and anxious to get out of bed
and on his way. It took another week before he was able to stand and I don’t
think he said more than ten words the whole time.” Leah shrugged. “I was
suspicious but I didn’t ask and he didn’t tell me. As quick as he showed up, he
left…thanking me for helping him and offering to send money, but I refused.
There’s not much else to tell. I was heartbroken and alone, but I needed to
move on and forget him.” She glanced at Victoria, surprised that their eyes
briefly met, before Leah looked away.
“Then I found out I was pregnant. I hadn’t decided what I was going to do when
Hannah brought me the newspaper article. In a few minutes I learned more about
Tom Barkley than I ever wanted or needed to know. All I had to do was look at
the picture…at his wife and his two little sons and I made up my mind that
moment that he would not know about his other child.” Silently Leah clasped her
hands together and lowered her head. Whether it was the pain or past memories
that caused her discomfort was unclear and Victoria waited patiently until she
was able to continue.
Finally Leah looked up, her eyes full of emotion. “I’d like to say my reasons
for keeping Heath a secret were truly altruistic but I can’t. I was angry and I
was hurt and I was determined to raise my child on my own…with no help from
anyone.” A few tears spilled down her cheeks and she took a couple of deep
breaths, trying valiantly to keep her composure. Victoria reached over and
handed the grateful woman a handkerchief.
“I told Tom I was thinking of you and your children when I kept quiet, and
maybe deep down that was part of the reason. But Heath is the one who really
suffered and I know that…maybe I always knew that and just tried to pretend
that he was happy and had everything he needed in that horrid town.” Leah
started to cry, hugging herself for comfort.
“I can’t recall the last time I heard Heath laugh” she said, her voice calmer.
“I mean really laughing, like Eugene was this morning. Thank you for bringing
me here” she sincerely said. “Thank you for giving me a chance to hear my son
laugh again.” Slowly Leah stood, the pain obvious in each movement. “I think
I’d better rest a bit.” Victoria watched her walk away, surprised at the sorrow
she felt for this woman. She had always reckoned herself a kind and forgiving
woman but the past few months she found herself changing, especially towards
the woman who had slept with her husband. Though the blame was clearly with
Tom, she had a dislike for this woman that went deep into her soul and
threatened, at times, to overwhelm her. Suddenly, with this short conversation
that was mostly one-sided, she found some peace in her soul and forgiveness for
Heath’s mother…and a determination that Leah would hear her son laugh before
she died.
* * * * * * * *
“Why you!” Nick jumped up when the water hit his head and
took two steps toward Heath. “Get back to work” he ordered and then shook his
head, splashing Jarrod with the excess water.
“Hey, don’t get me wet” Jarrod protested. “You’re the one who told Heath to
fetch you some water.”
“Cause I was thirsty” Nick bellowed, “not cause I wanted to take a bath.” He
eyed his younger brother who stood about ten feet away, a smirk plastered on
his face.
“Just for that, you’re going to finish the fence by yourself.”
“I believe you’ve already told him that” Jarrod put forth.
“Shut up” Nick spit out, as he plopped down next to his older brother. “He
wants to break horses and he needs muscles for that. He said he could do the
whole fence himself and I’m just letting him prove it.” A small smile played on
Nick’s face. “I suppose telling him to fetch me some water was a little
overboard.”
“Just a little” Jarrod sarcastically said. “Do you think it’s right of us to
just sit here and watch him?”
“Sounds right to me” Nick said, sprawling out on the ground and placing his hat
on his face. “I think I’m tired from all this sitting” he spit out, missing the
rolling eyes of his older brother.
“Are you sure you’re not just tired from avoiding father?” That question
achieved the desired results and Nick sat up abruptly.
“I’m not avoiding him” he insisted. “I have work to do and I’m doing it.” The
irony in that statement was so obvious that Jarrod let it slide.
“Nick, you’ll have to face him eventually.”
“I know.” Nick quietly agreed. Anything else that might have been said was
completely forgotten when Heath emitted a painful scream. They reached him just
as he was tying a bandana around his right hand.
“I’m fine,” he insisted as Jarrod reached for the injured hand.
“Let me see how fine you are.” Jarrod tore the blood soaked cloth off to reveal
a large puncture wound in the middle of his palm. “I think a trip to town is in
order.”
“No!” Heath pulled away. “I said I could do it and I need to finish.” Jarrod
looked to Nick for help.
“Heath, I know you can do it and you don’t need to prove anything to me. This
can wait until tomorrow and if you’re lucky I might help you. Now let’s take a
ride into town and let the doc check your hand out.” Nick thought the throbbing
pain, and not his words, got through to his little brother.
“Fine” Heath muttered. “Hey Nick, your hair’s all wet.” Heath tried to run but
Nick grabbed him before he took one step.
“Yeah, I noticed.” He easily picked up the boy and tossed him over his
shoulder.
“Put me down.” Heath cried out, his arms dangling helplessly.
“Sure thing” Nick remarked as they reached the horses. He tossed Heath on to
his horse and waited for the boy to right himself.
“Bet I can beat you to town” Heath called out, before riding off.
“No way” Nick bellowed as he jumped on his horse and rode after the blonde boy.
“God help us all” Jarrod muttered, before climbing on his own horse and taking
off after his brothers…in a more leisurely pace.
* * * * * * * *
The brothers returned home to find their father outside playing with their younger siblings.
“Is the fence finished?” he asked as they approached him.
“Almost” Jarrod replied. “We had a little accident so we stopped.” He pointed
to Heath’s bandaged hand.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine” Heath spit out before Tom could open his mouth.
“Ben said he’d be fine in a couple of days” Jarrod explained.
“He only cried for a few minutes,” Nick muttered, wincing when Heath elbowed
him in the side.
“Did not,” Heath countered.
“Did too” Nick insisted.
“Enough” Jarrod barked out. “You’ve been arguing the whole day. Now shut up
before I give you both a real reason to cry.”
“Really?” Nick eyed him. “And how would you go about doing that?”
“Yeah, I’d like to know that too” Heath piped in. “I can use it on Nick later on”
he added, as Jarrod groaned.
“I’ve had it. They’re yours tomorrow.” Jarrod pointed at his father. “This
comedy team is too much for me to handle.” Jarrod started to walk away when his
father asked him to stop.
“I was hoping we could all go fishing tomorrow” Tom said, his voice low enough
so Eugene and Audra couldn’t hear. All three sons stared at him, their eyes
questioning what their voices didn’t.
“I won’t force you to go but I’d appreciate if all three of you would.” His
eyes roamed from one son to another but they remained the longest on Nick’s
face.
“We’ll go.” Jarrod responded for his brothers. “I’m hungry. Let’s go find
something to eat.” Jarrod placed an arm around each of his brothers and guided
them away from their father.
“Jarrod, we ate in town,” Heath said, as Jarrod quickly covered his mouth. “I
know” Jarrod whispered, “but I wanted to get you two away before Nick said
something he shouldn’t have.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nick asked, once they were inside the house.
“I thought you might say no and I didn’t want to give you that chance. I told
you father would find a way to make things right and he will.”
“By fishing?” Nick snorted.
“Not by fishing, you moron” Jarrod retorted and then ducked when Nick tried to
punch him. “Let’s just go fishing and see what happens.”
“Moron?” Nick snorted again. “A few months away from school and your vocabulary
is regressing.”
“Must be the company I’m keeping” Jarrod countered with a playful tap to Nick’s
head.
“Must be” Heath agreed and then bolted up the stairs before Nick could grab
him.
“He takes it and gives it out just as well as you do” Jarrod remarked. “Little
brother, I think you’ve just met your match.” Jarrod placed his hand on Nick’s
shoulder.
“We’ll see about that,” Nick mumbled. Suddenly it dawned on him where Heath had
hurried off too.
“I told him I get the tub first.” He ran up the stairs, calling out Heath’s
name.
“Jarrod, what’s going on? Leah is resting in the study.” Jarrod raised one
eyebrow, trying to recall if his mother had ever called Leah by her name
before.
“Nick and Heath are probably upstairs fighting over who gets the bathtub
first.”
“I’ll put my money on Nick” Victoria said with a smile.
“Don’t count Heath out. He’s little but he doesn’t give up.” Jarrod wrapped an
arm around his mother’s waist. “Those two are…too much” Jarrod finished for
lack of better words.
“Yes, they are.” Victoria agreed. “I was going through some old boxes. Can you
help me put them away?”
“Sure mother.” Together they walked into the family room, wincing when they
heard something crash upstairs.
“I don’t want to know” Victoria said with a sigh, as they walked farther away
from the commotion. One day she would have to remember to thank Leah for
bringing Heath into their family.
It was late in the evening but Tom couldn’t sleep. He was
nervous about the next day and the conversation with his sons that was long
overdue. He hadn’t faired too well with his wife, though neither had tried real
hard to patch things up. They were functioning for the sake of the family
though Tom was pleasantly surprised to see Victoria and Leah carry out a civil
conversation at dinnertime. Tom chuckled softly, remembering the look on his
wife’s face when he had entered the dining room late for dinner and saw Leah
sitting with the family at the table. Nick and Jarrod were also watching him
and he briefly met their gazes before sitting down and pretending everything
was just normal. Tom longed for that day when everything was just normal, but
he feared that normal was not a part of their lives anymore. Maybe some day,
he’d be holding his grandchildren on his knees and fondly remembering the past,
but for now it was too difficult to even think about that. The past and future
no longer mattered, it was the present and that was the message he’d hoped to
past on to his children.
“Daddy!” He glanced up to see Eugene standing there, wondering how long the
child had been there. Briefly he longed for his study and the privacy that the
closed door brought him.
“Gene, what are you doing up? Did you have a nightmare?” The child shook his
head but didn’t explain his presence.
“Gene, come here.” Tom motioned his son over and finally the child neared him.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“Am I your son?” the child quietly asked, much to the disbelief of his shocked
father. It took Tom a few minutes to respond, his mind trying to figure out how
Eugene could even come up with a question like that.
“Of course you are.” Tom reached over and took the child in his arms. “Eugene,
why would you even think something like that?” The child silently looked down,
his quivering lips the only sign of how upset he truly was. Tom hugged him
tight and waited until Eugene was ready to talk. The child sniffled a few times
before lifting his head from his father’s shoulder.
“I thought with Heath here you didn’t need me anymore.” Dumbstruck, Tom could
only stare at him.
“Need you?” Tom gently cupped the child’s face with his hands. “Of course I
need you. Who else gives me those great big bear hugs every night?” The child
shrugged, his gaze downward.
“Eugene, you’re my son and you’ll always be my son. No one can replace you in
my heart, I promise you that.”
“But ever since Heath got here, you don’t do anything with me. Nick and Jarrod
don’t either. I like Heath but I don’t like him taking my place. Why can’t I go
fishing tomorrow?”
Tom sighed, wondering how Eugene knew about the trip he had tried to keep from
him and Audra.
“I heard you tell Silas that you were taking your sons fishing tomorrow and
asked him to put some food together.” Eugene seemed to read his father’s mind.
“If I’m your son how come I’m not going with?”
“Eugene, you have school tomorrow. So does Audra.”
“I don’t need to go to school. Dumb teacher can find someone else to stand in
the corner.” For the second time that night Tom could only stare at his son,
wondering if he even knew this child. He should have scolded him for calling
the teacher dumb, but the other part concerned him more.
“Eugene, why are you standing in the corner?”
“Someone has to” Eugene innocently answered, eliciting a small sigh from his
father.
“Not my son” Tom harshly said. “Do you deserve to stand in the corner?” Eugene
shrugged, his face answering the question his voice didn’t. Tom wondered if the
child was acting up because of Heath’s presence. He never worried about his
youngest two, how Heath’s entry in to the family would affect them. Silently he
mulled his options. Could he talk to the older boys with Eugene there or should
he promise the child he would take him another time?
“Eugene, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you tomorrow if you promise me you’ll
start behaving in school. Audra will tell me if I ask her.”
“She’d tell you even if you didn’t ask” the child muttered. No she wouldn’t Tom
thought, since he obviously didn’t know about this.
“Eugene, what do you say?”
“I promise” Eugene said, holding his hand up. He jumped off of his father’s
lap. “I better go to sleep so I can get up in time.” Excited, he started to run
away, but stopped and quickly returned to his father.
“You promise you won’t leave without me?”
“I promise.” Before Eugene could take off again his father grabbed his arm. “I
need one of those hugs right now, ok?”
“OK!” The child smiled before hugging his father tight.
“Eugene, I love you” Tom said and then kissed the child’s cheek. “Goodnight
son.” Eugene ran off, making too much noise as he scampered up the stairs. Tom
lowered his head into his hands, crying silent tears.
* * * * * * * *
Thirty minutes into the trip and Tom was mulling over how
lousy of a morning it had been. He and Victoria had argued over the inclusion
of Eugene on the trip and his wife was against it, especially since Tom had decided
to make it an overnight trip much farther than the original fishing hole. Nick
was worried about the ranch falling apart if he wasn’t around and Heath didn’t
want to leave his mother alone for that long. After numerous conversations and
a few arguments Tom and his sons left the ranch. He glanced sideways and
watched Eugene; the child had managed so far to keep up the pace that his
father had set. The other three rode side by side, a few paces behind their
father and younger brother. Tom was pleased with the camaraderie the three
eldest had formed but at times he felt like the common enemy they bonded
together against. The boys talked amongst themselves but Tom tried not to
listen, assuming the conversation was not meant for his ears.
“Eugene, are you tired yet?”
“No!” Eugene didn’t glance sideways, focusing all of his energy on keeping the
horse moving at a steady pace.
“Boys, are you fine back there?”
“We are” Jarrod answered for them.
“Just dandy” Nick muttered for all to hear. “That fence isn’t done and we’ll be
chasing cattle for days to come.”
“Nick, stop your moaning” Jarrod whispered as the distance between them and
their father increased. “We agreed to give father a chance, so what if we’re
camping out over night. You used to enjoy going camping with father…”
“I was a child,” Nick bellowed.
“You still are” Jarrod remarked, and both glanced at Heath when he started to
giggle.
“Quit that or you’ll be sorry,” Nick warned.
“I’m so scared” Heath spit out. “You’ll have to catch me first.” He took off
and Nick chased after him. Jarrod increased his pace to ride next to his
father.
“Are they fighting or fooling around?” Tom asked.
“I’m not too sure,” Jarrod admitted. “Just letting off steam…I hope,” he added.
“Father, are you alright? I heard you and mother arguing this morning.”
“We’ll be fine” Tom assured his eldest son, though inwardly he wondered if they
would ever be fine again. He caught Jarrod watching him and knew his son didn’t
believe him. “We’ll be fine,” he repeated, more for his own benefit than his
son’s. In silence, they continued on, though Tom wondered the whole trip if it
would even make a difference. If a day of fishing and a father’s plea could put
his family back together again.
* * * * * * * *
They sat around the fire, three sons and their father.
Eugene was by the lake, aimlessly tossing stones into the water. Tom was
grateful that his youngest didn’t seem to care about the conversation that was
about to begin. Occasionally he would call to his father and Tom would nod as
the child pointed how far his stone had gone. The others watched him; silent as
they had been most of the day. Six eyes seemed to watch every move he made and
Tom had to admit that he was nervous. He cleared his throat and then took a deep
breath.
“I promised you an explanation” Tom quietly began, “but as much as I’ve tried
to come up with something, I haven’t been able to.” Tom glanced at Nick who
snorted in response to his father’s opening statement. The older man almost
laughed when he saw Jarrod elbow Nick in the side. Tom realized that Nick was
still angry and he couldn’t honestly blame his son.
“I can only tell you the truth” Tom finished, his eyes darting from one son to
the other. Jarrod looked calm and ready to listen to what his father had to
say. Heath fidgeted nervously but Tom thought he was reacting more to the
behavior of Nick than what Tom was saying. Nick stared angrily and Tom wondered
if anything he said would ease the anger that his son carried around.
“Over fifteen years ago I rode to a small town called Strawberry. I had
interest in the mines there and had heard strike talks and I hoped to settle
the unrest before it came to that. The night I arrived I was attacked from
behind and left to die in an alley.” Tom paused briefly, again eyeing each son.
“Heath’s mother found me and nursed me back to health and in the process she
fell in love with me.”
“Did you love her?” Nick demanded to know. Tom glanced at Heath and smiled
slightly at the blonde boy. Every rational thought in his mind said to shut up;
that his sons didn’t need to know any of this. Yet the one part that seemed to
rule his actions called for the truth and Tom knew that was the only defense he
had.
“No” he quietly answered. “She saved my life and I was grateful…in another time
and another place I could have loved her but I was married and I loved my wife
and she’s the only woman I have ever loved.”
“Then why’d you sleep with her?” Heath quietly asked. “Why’d you give her hope
when you knew you were married?” Tom chuckled nervously, and then grabbed a
stick to play with the fire. He glanced over at Eugene to make sure the child
was alright before making eye contact with Heath.
“I could think about that for a hundred years and I still couldn’t answer your
question. I made a mistake and in the process I hurt so many people I care
about.”
“So I am a mistake,” Heath quietly lamented.
“No!” Tom quickly stood and approached his blonde son, kneeling in front of
him.
“Heath, I don’t care how you came to be. You were meant to be a part of this
family and I will always regret not knowing you from the day you were born.” He
reached over and lightly touched the boy’s face. “Heath, I can’t change
anything but if you are a mistake, you’re the best damn mistake that has ever
happened to me.” Tom smiled, sighing in the process. “If I were a religious man
I’d believed some divine intervention drew your mother to me. But I’m not, so I
have to consider myself just lucky…lucky to have you as my son.” Tom placed both
hands on Heath’s face and for a brief moment their eyes met, and Heath’s face
seemed to soften under his father’s touch. Tom rose and went back to his
original spot. He glanced at Nick and Jarrod but neither boy met his gaze.
Heath was still staring at him and Tom smiled reassuringly.
“Heath, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a choice when I brought you here. I think
it was the right thing to do and I want to think you’d agree, but everything
happened so fast and I never considered how you felt. That day I met you I saw
a boy who was slowly dying and I would have done anything to help you…but you
were old enough to voice an opinion and I never gave you that chance.”
“It was the right thing” Heath put forth, his voice barely above a whisper. “If
you’d given me a choice I would have said no and I’d be dead by now. I wanted
to die; took a long time for that feeling to go away but it did…” Heath’s voice
cracked and Tom wanted to go to him but he didn’t think his legs could hold him
up. He wished he could reach over the fire and hug his son, but Tom settled for
watching Nick wrap an arm around Heath’s shoulders; comforting his younger
brother.
“Nick, that’s why I asked so much of you.” Nick stared at him, clearly confused
by his father’s statement. Beside him Heath sniffled a few times and pulled
away from his older brother. Nick briefly glanced at Jarrod before facing his
father again.
“Nick, when you were younger I worried constantly that you wouldn’t make it to
your next birthday. You were reckless and you pushed every limit I set.” Tom
smiled, remembering one of the many times he scolded Nick as a child. “But
you’ve grown up so much the past few years and I am so proud of the man you’re
becoming.” Tom watched Nick fidget, obviously embarrassed by his father’s
praise. Nick pulled up a blade of grass and ran it through his fingers, his
eyes darting everywhere but at his father.
“When Jarrod went away to school, you became the big brother to Audra and
Eugene and those children adore you.” At the mention of his youngest, Tom
checked to make sure the child was alright. Eugene was darting around in
circles, thankfully still oblivious to the conversation going on so near him.
“Nick, you allow very few to see how big your heart really is and all I could
do was go by my gut feeling…and it told me you would be more than Heath’s big
brother.” Tom secretly glanced over at Jarrod, hoping his oldest wasn’t
offended by what he was saying. If Jarrod was, he didn’t show it; his face a
neutral mask. “Nick, I know you’re angry with me and you feel I’ve placed too
much on your shoulders but I don’t agree.” Nick’s eyes widened, and then
narrowed, as they filled with anger. Jarrod sensed his brother’s mood change
and lightly put his hand on Nick’s arm.
“Where were you when I took Heath to Strawberry?” Nick asked, his calm voice
belying the anger he clearly felt.
“I’ll get to that” Tom answered, his voice equally calm. Tom sighed, wondering
if Nick knew how much like his father he truly was. They were both quick to
anger, words spilling out that they would later come to regret. It was the part
of Tom that he wished none of his sons had inherited, but the one that Nick
started to display at a very young age. Impatience was another quality that
father and son shared, though at that moment it was only the son that showed
this trait. Nick’s fingers were tapping the spur on his boot so loudly that all
noticed and finally Jarrod clasped his brother’s hand to stop the movement.
“Let go!” Nick growled loudly, freeing his hand.
“Calm down” Jarrod whispered knowing Nick was about to explode.
“Daddy, I’m tired of playing by myself.” Eugene had wandered over and plopped
into his father’s lap. “Someone has to play with me.” Tom hugged the child
tightly, planting a light kiss on his cheek.
“Eugene, you’re being so good and I’m so proud of you. We’ll be done soon and
when the sun sets we’ll tell ghost stories, ok?”
“Yippee!” Eugene stood and ran off, as Tom silently shook his head. He knew his
son disliked being scared but he would be the center of attention as his older
brothers tried to spook him and attention was something Eugene craved. Tom
returned his attention to the other three.
“Nick if I had known Leah was sick, of course I would not have sent you. I
didn’t think the visit would be anything more than that. But you did everything
I would have expected of you and I’m proud of both you and your mother for the
way you handled the situation.”
“Where were you…?” Nick began but stopped when he saw the look his father gave
him. Sighing, Nick closed his mouth and decided it was best if he just waited
for his answer.
“Nick, I might have manipulated you and Heath a bit.” Tom smiled weakly. “But
that’s my right as a father” he added in his defense. “Long after I’m gone
you’ll be here; you’ll be running the ranch and I want Heath to feel that this
is home and that he’s always welcomed here. I want him to feel he can count on
you…always.” Suddenly Tom looked at Jarrod.
“Please Jarrod, don’t think I’m looking past you cause I’m not.” He eyed his
oldest son. “You’ve known since you were a little boy what you wanted to be.
You couldn’t have been more than seven when you’d find Nick crying after being
punished and come downstairs to defend him to me.”
“What’d he do?” Heath asked.
“Doesn’t matter” Nick quickly countered as both Jarrod and Tom chuckled softly.
“What didn’t he?” Tom asked incredulously, smiling at the crimson color that
adorned Nick’s face. “From the time Nick could walk, he followed me around and
wanted so badly to help on the ranch. But he was too little and for his own
safety, I made a list of rules of what he could do and couldn’t.”
“Nick of course wanted to do everything father told him not to” Jarrod piped
in. “At times it seemed Ben spent more time at our house than with his own
family” Jarrod added. “One day Nick can tell you how many broken bones he’s
had.”
“He don’t need to know that” Nick spit out. “Besides I don’t think I can
remember them all” he said, a slight smile on his face.
“Remember the stallion?” Jarrod suddenly asked, eliciting a loud groan from
Nick.
“Don’t!” Nick pleaded, which only peaked Heath’s curiosity. “What stallion?” he
quickly asked.
“I had bought this beautiful stallion” Tom began, much to Nick’s dismay. “He
was wild though and I put him in a special corral and told both boys not to go
near him.” Tom sighed, thinking back to that time. “One night, the boys were in
bed and I was locking up when I heard the horse making strange noises and I ran
out of the house. I stopped, stunned to see the horse on his hind legs and
Nick, clad only in a nightshirt, standing two feet away and frozen from fear.”
“I was only five years old” Nick defensively said. “I thought I could ride the
horse,” Nick lamely added.
“What happened?” Heath impatiently asked. “Did Nick get kicked in the head and
that’s why he’s like he is?”
“Ha ha!” Nick snorted and lightly cuffed the back of Heath’s head.
“I told Nick to stay calm, though I don’t think he could have moved if he
wanted to and I ran in and scooped him up and ran out. The next day I had the
horse moved to a neighbor’s ranch and…let’s just say Nick didn’t sit
comfortably for a while after that.”
Nick rolled his eyes as both Jarrod and Heath started to laugh.
“Even Jarrod couldn’t think of a defense that time” Tom remarked, after the
laughter died down.
“Jarrod, I know you want to be a lawyer in a big city and that will take you
away from us. And I’d prefer you here, but I’m not about to stop you from
living your dream. I’m sorry I delayed you for a year but I did it for my
benefit more than anyone else’s. I was nervous about bringing Heath here and I
needed your rational mind to stop me if I went overboard in any way. The fact
that you haven’t stepped in gives me hope that I haven’t messed things up too badly
yet.”
“You haven’t” Jarrod put forth, and then glared at his brothers, daring either
to disagree with him. Thankfully the younger boys remained quiet.
“I’ve also noticed the way you’ve been protecting your younger siblings lately
and I’m thankful I asked you to stay and that you agreed.” Jarrod nodded
towards his father, the praise causing him to blush slightly.
Tom decided to finally tell his sons where he had gone. “I went to Brooklyn to
see Sam Drake,” he quietly said.
“What?” Heath sat up straight. “I told you there was nothing else to learn.”
Tom was a bit surprised at the blonde boy’s defensive tone, but he let that
slide without a remark. Nick and Jarrod were equally surprised but curious to
know what their father found out.
“Your mother didn’t want me to go and that’s a big reason why she’s still mad
at me. I went for my benefit. Heath, I had to know how you spent the rest of
your time in prison and you wouldn’t tell me any more. Maybe I was little
obsessive,” he retorted with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“Did you learn anything?” Nick asked, as Heath seemed to shrink a bit beside
him.
“Not much” Tom admitted. “Sam told me only Jake died that day.”
“Really?” Heath’s demeanor seemed to pick up slightly. “Manny and the others
lived?”
“At least…for that day they did” Tom answered, unaware if any of them were
still alive at the end of the war. “Sam Drake is a good man and he took care of
you for the rest of your imprisonment.”
“I know.” Heath looked downward. “Did he become a baseball player?”
“Yes he did and he seems happy. A bit lonely and more than excited to show me
the park he plays at. I invited him to visit us next fall. Heath, I hope you
don’t mind.”
“I don’t.” He sighed and then finally looked at his father. “It’s just…that
time seems so long ago and I don’t want to go back there.”
“Neither do I” Tom forcibly said. “As far as I’m concerned the past no longer
matters. We have some tough times to face in the future but I don’t want to
think about that either. I just want to live for now as a family again…can you
three forgive everything I’ve done? Can we get past the anger and move on?”
Slowly Tom looked at each of his sons, trying to read their minds. “Can we?” he
asked again, when no one responded.
“Yes sir” Jarrod exclaimed, eyeing both of his brothers.
“Yes sir” Heath and Nick answered in unison, and then broke out in laughter.
“Good!” Tom stood, shaking out his tired legs. “Let’s get Eugene and start
telling some scary stories.” He turned but there was no sign of the child.
“Eugene!” Tom’s heart started to flutter as he yelled loudly for his missing
son. The others scurried to their feet, their eyes searching the area for their
brother.
Tom eyed the lake and ran towards it. “Eugene!” He yelled, watching the water
for any signs of his son. But he was nowhere. The child was gone.
Tom only placed one foot in the water before his sons
restrained him. “Father, he’s not in there,” Jarrod barked, on his father’s
right side.
“He knows better,” Nick added, on the other side. “He must of run off
somewhere,” Nick said as the two sons pulled their father away from the water.
“You’re right!” Tom huffed a few times as he tried to calm his nerves, his sons
loosening their grips on his arms. He turned in circles, his eyes taking in the
few paths that led from the lake. This was a place he and Ben had discovered
years ago and they had made it an annual trip with their sons. But it had been
a long time since either had been up here, Ben refusing after the death of his
sons and Tom just never finding the time for an overnight trip. Tom loved the
serenity of the place; the beautiful little lake surrounded by an expanse of
giant trees. He had always thought of this place as his, a secret little
hideaway untouched by human progress.
“Father!” Jarrod’s serious voice brought Tom back to the present and the
realization that Eugene was missing.
“Let’s spread out” Tom ordered. “Heath, you stay with Nick, I don’t want you
lost too.” Heath was about to protest but thought better of it. “You two go
that way.” Tom pointed east. “Jarrod, take that path and I’ll take this one.”
Tom glanced upward, knowing they didn’t have much daylight left. He didn’t want
to think about the animals that lived among the trees and ventured out in the
safety of the darkness. The two younger boys took off while Tom and Jarrod
doused the fire before taking off on their own searches.
“Nick, you think he went this way?” The branches were so plentiful and long
that they had to keep ducking in order to protect their faces.
“Eugene’s small” Nick said as he quickened his pace, calling the child’s name
every few minutes.
“You think he run away?” Heath loudly asked between heavy breaths, as the
distance between him and Nick widened.
“No!” Nick stopped when it was apparent that Heath was having trouble. With
concern, he watched the blonde boy double over and gasped for each breath.
Silently he promised he was going to get that boy in shape…one way or the
other.
“You ok?”
“Yeah!” Heath straightened. “Sorry! I’m ready.” He brushed past Nick and took
off on the search again.
“Heath…wait.” Nick easily caught up and grabbed his brother’s arm. “I don’t
think he could have gone this far.” Nick glanced around, though with the
darkness engulfing them it was hard to see anything. They heard the rustling of
leaves and Heath jumped, much to the amusement of his older brother.
“You’re not scared are you?”
“No!” Heath answered with as much bravado as he could muster. “What do you
think that was?” he quickly asked.
“I don’t know.” Nick groaned loudly, running his hands through his sweat
drenched dark hair. “All I know…is when I get my hands on that boy he’s going
to wish he’d stay put.” Silently Nick debated their next move.
“Let’s go back,” he said grabbing Heath’s arm. “Hurry! Maybe they’ve found him
already.” For the second time that night Heath found himself trying to keep up
with the long legs of his older brother; and for the second time he failed
miserably. He tried to pick up his speed and didn’t notice the low-lying branch
that sent him sprawling. Heath went down with a thud, knocking the wind out of
himself. He lay there, breathing hard until Nick finally noticed and quickly
returned to find his brother.
“Heath! Are you hurt?” Nick knelt down and tried to help Heath sit up.
“Let go” Heath spit out, still trying to catch his breath. “Give me a second”
he pleaded, his hands reaching for the nearest bush. As he started to pick
himself up he thought he saw something lying on the other side of the bush. A
small figure…a child.
“Nick!” The terror in Heath’s voice hit Nick like a bullet and he dropped to
his hands and knees to see where Heath was pointing.
“Eugene!” It was a small space amid numerous thorny bushes and Nick had to push
his way through ignoring the pain as the pointy thorns dug into his hands. The
child’s moans were like music to Nick’s ears as he carefully lifted Eugene and
bulled his way out of the thicket of shrubs, taking the blunt of the needles as
he shielded the child.
“Take him.” Nick was able to hand Eugene to Heath as he maneuvered the last
bush, his rubbery legs lowering himself to the ground. Heath carefully lowered
himself, and then handed the child back to Nick.
“Eugene!” Nick shook him gently until the child’s eyes started to open. “What
happened? Are you hurt?” The child’s tear-streaked face was dirty and he had
numerous scratches on his hands and arms.
“N..i..ck…I’m cold.” Eugene’s teeth chattered as he curled against his older
brother. Heath quickly took his light jacket off and wrapped it around the
child’s shoulders.
“Eugene, what happened?”
“I was chasing a rabbit and then I tripped.” He pointed to the same branch that
Heath had encountered. “I ended up over there and I couldn’t stand cause my
ankle hurt…and then I fell asleep.” Eugene’s lips quivered as he started to
cry. “I want…to...go…home” he choked out between sobs.
“I know!” Nick held him tightly against his chest, trying to warm Eugene up.
“Heath, check his ankle.”
Heath barely touched him before the child cried out in pain, and Heath jerked
his hands back.
“Heath it’s ok. We’ll get him back and then check the ankle. I’m sure father
and Jarrod are worried sick by now.” Nick carefully stood with Eugene clinging
to him.
“Heath, can you make it back ok?”
“You’re bleeding” Heath countered, ignoring his brother’s question.
“I know…we’re a sorted mess right now. Stay close, I don’t need a bear grabbing
you away.”
“Very funny.” Heath snorted though as they headed back Nick noticed how near
him his brother stayed. Though the distance wasn’t far Eugene was asleep by the
time they approached the lake.
“Heath let’s get the fire started again and then I’ll go look for father and
Jarrod.” Nick placed Eugene on a blanket and quickly the two older boys
gathered twigs and started the fire.
“Nick, are you sure? If he wakes, he’s not going to want me.”
“Sit!” Nick ordered and then placed Eugene in his arms. “If he awakens, he’ll
want a brother and that’s what you are. Hopefully I won’t be gone long.” He
took off before Heath could argue, leaving the blonde boy alone with the
slumbering child. Heath wasn’t completely comfortable playing the big brother
role and he hesitated before slowly running his fingers through the child’s
hair. Eugene moaned and Heath held him a little tighter, hoping he slept until
someone else returned. It wasn’t long before Heath heard footsteps and Jarrod
emerged from beyond the trees. His eyes widened when he saw the two figures
sitting beside the fire and he quickly approached him.
“How? What?” Clearly relieved Jarrod couldn’t find the right words as he knelt
down and gently touched Eugene’s face. “Heath, what happened?” Jarrod quietly
asked, his hand resting on Eugene’s shoulder.
“He tripped and hurt his ankle and then fell asleep.”
“What happened to you?” Jarrod noticed the scratches and dirt on Heath’s hands.
“I tripped over the same branch,” he sheepishly answered, sighing in the
process. “I guess it was a good thing cause that’s when I spotted him. Nick
went looking for you and father,” Heath added before Jarrod could ask. “Jarrod,
check his ankle…it’s the right one. I tried but he was in too much pain.”
Jarrod nodded and carefully pulled up the leg of the child’s pants and then
worked his boot off without Eugene waking. Jarrod then pulled the sock off and
was relieved to see just a little swelling around the ankle and some bruising
on the top of the foot. He ran his fingers carefully up and down the ankle but
didn’t feel any broken bones.
“I don’t think anything’s broken,” Jarrod said as Nick and their father ran
towards them.
“He’s fine” Jarrod said upon seeing the stricken look on Tom’s face. But Tom
didn’t seem to hear him as he dropped to his knees and took the child from
Heath, tears of relief spilling down his cheeks. Heath stood, taken back by
seeing his father cry. He nearly backed into Nick who protectively placed an
arm around his brother. Tom’s tears flowed faster as his emotions threatened to
overwhelm him.
“He told me last night he didn’t think he was my son” Tom whispered between
sniffles.
“If he had died with that thought…” Those were the last words he got out before
the sobs over took him and he buried his face against Eugene’s head, his
shoulders heaving with each sob.
“Nick…” Heath turned and leaned against Nick, unable to handle the scene
playing out before him.
“It’s ok” Nick whispered, one arm around Heath’s back and the other gently
rubbing the boy’s neck. Nick wasn’t handling it much better and he sought out
Jarrod’s eyes and the older boys exchanged worried glances.
“Take him away” Jarrod quietly ordered and then pointed towards the lake. He
watched Nick guide Heath away and then turned his attention back to his father.
The older man was still crying but not as loud as before and slowly Jarrod
knelt down next to him.
“Father, let me take him and put him to bed.” Tom didn’t respond but his grip
tightened around Eugene and Jarrod knew his father was not letting go of his
son. Giving up, Jarrod sat down and placed his arm around his father’s
shoulders. He wasn’t any more comfortable than his brothers had been but he was
the eldest and he wasn’t about to leave his father alone.
* * * * * * * *
Thirty minutes later, Tom and Eugene were both sleeping as Jarrod
took the little bag out of his father’s saddlebag, grabbed a couple of blankets
and went towards the lake to join his brothers. He wasn’t surprised to see Nick
and Heath sitting side by side with Nick’s arm still draped around Heath’s
shoulders. As Jarrod sat Heath tried to hide his tear-streaked face against
Nick’s shoulder.
“He’s pretty spooked,” Nick explained, though his quivering voice showed him to
be in no better condition.
“I know…I’m not much better right now.” Jarrod pulled a piece of cloth from the
bag and poured some water on it. “Heath, let me see your hands.”
“Nick’s bleeding” Heath quietly put forth.
“I know and he’s next. Show me your hands.” With a little push from Nick, Heath
held his hands out and allowed Jarrod to clean them up. He flinched when he saw
Jarrod reach for the little bottle of medicine but gamely allowed his older
brother to run the liniment over the cuts, his sharp intake of breath the only
sign of pain the clear liquid caused. When Jarrod was satisfied that Heath was
fine he turned his attention to Nick, frowning at the numerous puncture wounds
that lined the dark haired boy’s arms and hands.
“Mother’s going to be quite upset when she sees the three of you” Jarrod
commented as he attended to Nick’s cuts.
“How’s father?” Nick quietly asked.
“Asleep with Eugene still in his arms.”
“I thought hearing mother cry was hard.” Nick shook his head. “But that…” He
paused, as he glanced towards the fire.
“Why was he crying?” Heath asked. “Eugene is ok but that seemed to make him
sadder.”
“I think it’s everything,” Jarrod answered as he placed a blanket around each
brother.
“Today was harder on him than you could ever imagine; trying to explain why
he’s done things and knowing how angry we’ve been with his actions. He was so
happy to get that over with and then Eugene went missing…I think a lot of those
tears were pure relief that he’s going home tomorrow with four sons and the
hope that everything is going to be ok.” Jarrod paused as he settled in next to
Heath who surprised him by taking part of his blanket and placing it over
Jarrod’s shoulders. Jarrod smiled down at the blonde boy and then glanced out
at the soothing water.
“I was thinking about something on the way up, but I’m going to need your help
to make it work.”
“What?” Nick curiously asked.
“I heard mother and father fighting this morning” Jarrod explained, “and I
really think they need some time away from us…some time alone to work out their
problems.”
“Great idea” Nick exclaimed, “but there’s no way they’re going to leave the
ranch and us alone. Not with everything going on.”
“They will if we can convince them we can handle everything. The ranch, the
children and Heath’s mother.”
“I can take care of my own mother” Heath forcibly spit out.
“We will take care of your mother” Jarrod countered, his arm finding Heath’s
shoulder. “We! Get that through your head. We have to present a united front if
we have any chance of succeeding.”
“It might work” Nick conceded. “Where will they go?”
“I thought San Francisco might be nice. Tomorrow I’ll go into town and buy the
train tickets and wire the best hotel to reserve a room. Think I’ll talk to Ben
too. If he agrees to spend a few nights with us, I think we’ll have an easier
time persuading them.”
“Silas won’t like that” Nick said, a slight smile on his face. “He’ll have to
hide the food or Ben will eat it all.” Nick chuckled softly, pleased when he
heard his brothers laugh also.
“Either of you tired?” Jarrod asked.
“No!” His brothers answered in unison.
“Me neither” Jarrod admitted, as they all grew silent.
“We could tell ghost stories” Heath put forth.
“Yeah right.” Nick snorted loudly. “You got scared when you heard the leaves
rustling…”
“Did not”
“Did too. And then when I said a bear could grab you…”
Heath had heard enough as he rose to his knees and then knocked Nick to the
ground. “I’m not scared of anything,” he said, desperately trying to pin Nick
down.
“Jarrod, when is he going to learn?” Nick patiently waited while Heath used up
all of his energy. “Heath, you’re too scrawny to pin me,” Nick muttered as he
found it tougher this time to get Heath off of him.
“I don’t know Nick.” Jarrod stood and leaned over his brothers. “Seems you’re
having a hard time getting him off.” Nick groaned in response and then mustered
all of his strength to get the upper hand and pin Heath to the ground.
“Next time little brother. Next time you might have me.” Nick stood and then
helped Heath to his feet.
“Let’s go see if we can get some sleep. I’m sure father will want to get an
early start back.” Jarrod placed an arm around each brother and guided them
back to the fire. They rolled out their blankets near the fire and settled
down, though none of them felt real tired.
“What will mother say?” Nick asked.
“Maybe she’ll just be grateful we’re all returning in one piece,” Jarrod
answered.
“Yeah right.” Nick snorted. “One look at Gene’s ankle and all hell will break
loose. Heath, you and me will go for the doctor…”
“Chicken” Jarrod spit out. Heath started making chicken sounds until Nick
reached over and covered his mouth.
“Boy, you better rethink that. Don’t forget the fence needs to be finished and
I can find a whole lot to keep you real busy.” Slowly he removed his hand.
“Can’t!” Heath lifted his hands. “I’m injured and I don’t think I can work
anymore. You’ll have to do it alone.”
“Dream on little brother, dream on.”
“Can you both be quiet and go to sleep?” Jarrod quietly scolded. In the
distance they heard a coyote howl.
“Heath, are you scared?”
“Shut up” Heath hissed, though Nick heard the uneasiness in his voice.
“Don’t worry, he’s far enough away.”
“You sure?” Heath whispered.
“I’m sure.” Nick draped his arm across Heath’s chest. “Go to sleep before
Jarrod gets real mad. He’s more scary than any animal…”
“Nick!” Jarrod sat up and stared down his two brothers. “One more word out of
either of you.” He stopped talking as his brothers burst out laughing.
“I give up.” Jarrod settled back down on the hard ground and covered his ears
with his hands. Soon all three were asleep, exhausted from the day’s events.