by MrsNickB
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big
Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been
used without permission. No copyright
infringement is intended by the author.
The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
I always found it painful to
watch that one scene in The Iron Box and wondered what did it take for someone
like the very proud Nick Barkley to humiliate himself in an attempt to save his
brother's life. This is The Iron Box as
seen from Nick's point of view.
A buying trip, how many have we been on
together? I don't rightly know; too
many to count I suspect.
It sure started out
like all the other trips we've been on.
Heath and me had been on the trail for a week, maybe a week and a half
on a cattle buying trip. We saw some
fine breeding stock, but none finer than the one at McGowan's spread. Got a good deal too, fair deal or so I
thought, paid out three hundred dollars in gold. The man claimed he didn't have a bill of sale to sign over to us. Heath said, "Any paper would do with
your name on it." Damnit, should have insisted, but I was too anxious to
get back on the trail. Still had a ways
to go. Wanted to get to Brazos. We were both looking forward to taking a
long hot bath, good food, and sleeping in a bed after almost two weeks on the
trail.
We had camped for
the night, it was Heath's turn to get the food, but we were both too dog tired
to bother trapping anything, instead Heath fried up some of his awful beans. What I wouldn't give now to be there again
eating that disgusting bean concoction of his then here looking at that evil
contraption. What devil thought of
that?! My God, my brother! I'm suppose to keep him safe, we look out
for one another. Please God, if only I
could trade places with him! My God...,
my brother! Sweet Jesus! I gotta get him out of there!
"What kind of man are you?! That's your brother in there and you don't care!"
"Don't! ...Don't you ever say that to me
again!"
Gotta wait for Jarrod, I gotta listen to my
big brother. He's always complaining I go
off half cocked and make things worse. I
can't make things worse for Heath, I could kill him if I did. I need to wait. Need patience... I need
patience...
"That's the way you've always done it! Nick Barkley going off on a tangent!"
How many times have
I heard Pappy say that to me? But not this
time. Too dangerous. It will only go worse for Heath. I can't let myself put my little brother in
any more danger than he already is. Please
God have mercy! Please God protect him! I can't!
This is the best I can do for him.
Wait, wait. Patience. Not one to have patience, not me. If only I could trade places with him! Take his pain away! He's suffered so much already! How much can a man take? Heath's a strong man, he'll make it! He's gotta make it! Please God, please I'm begging you, Sweet Jesus,
take care of him!
"We gotta wait
for Jarrod to get back."
"All right, but while you're waiting, your brother, he
could die!"
I'm holding on,
holding on to the rage inside of me. I
swear I am so angry I could bend these bars with my bare hands, but what good
will that do? Heath? Did I hear him? Was that his voice, oh my God, yes it was! He's calling my name! I can hear him.
"Nick, help
me!"
No, no, it's in my
head, that's not Heath, it's in my head.
He's not calling me, no. Heath,
he slipped into unconsciousness, that's what he did. He's sleeping. Nothing
much you can do it that box. He's
sleeping, yes, that's it! I must think
of him sleeping. God is good, made him
go to sleep so he couldn't feel the pain!
Yes. God is good, He did that
for him! He did it for me. Please!
Wait for Jarrod, gotta wait for Jarrod...
If I concentrate I
can take his pain away, yeah, I can do it, I can take his pain on me. Come on little brother give it to me, I can
take it for ya. I'm strong ya know. I feel the heat, blistering heat, the kind
that burns a man's insides. Parched,
swollen tongue, the sweat pouring down, it so hot it becomes cold, I can feel
the chill, making me shiver. I'll feel
it for ya Heath! I'll feel it for ya,
You don't have to little brother, give it me, I can take it all for ya. Come on, give it to me, come on...
"Three,
seven, zero! Three, seven, zero! You hearing me boy! THREE, SEVEN, ZERO! The Captain wants to see ya! Get movin'!
Look alive!"
Risley wants to see
me, maybe...
#########################################
"You look tired.
Sit down."
No, won't show
weakness to this bastard. Won't show
anger, it's what he wants, won't give him the satisfaction. Steady Nick, calm, stay calm. Heath...
I'm taking his pain away. I've
got ya boy, big brother's got ya. Can
you feel me with you? I'm holding you,
I'm taking your pain away Heath..
"Aren't ya going to ask me about five, nine,
seven?"
He's my brother, my blood, not numbers. You turn him into numbers, he's a human
being, better than you or I could ever be!
You filth from hell! You don't
know my brother. He's kind and he's
good and you're not fit to lick his muddy boots, you bastard!
"Five, nine, seven. That's a man you have out in that sweat box. Heath Barkley, not a bunch of numbers."
I can feel my
strength draining out of me, so weak, need to hold myself together for my
brother. I'm using all of it to hold
myself. For Heath, I gotta do it to
save Heath, anything to save him, anything.
I gotcha little brother, I gotcha!
Can you feel me holding you Heath?
I got ya, won't let you go Boy, I won't let ya go!
"Aren't ya going to ask me about him?"
"Would it do
any good?"
"Still full of your of your own pride aren't you? Well that doesn't surprise me; I know you
well enough by now."
"We're even. I've killed enough corn pigs in my time to
know enough about you."
"You want to kill me?"
"I do."
"And given the opportunity you'll try."
"I will."
"Well in view of this situation, I say the distance
between the intent and the deed may prove an impossible journey for you."
"I'll work it
out."
"Oh really? How?"
"I don't know,
...yet."
"Ohh yes, patience, patience; the way of the
intelligent man. Wait until you're free
and pick your own time. Meanwhile of
course, Five, Nine, Seven will be dead.
At this very moment I warrant his flesh is being burnt raw. His tongue is so swollen that it chokes him. No doubt he is gradually losing his sanity
that explains the mumbled sounds, the incoherent noises..."
"WHAT DO YOU
WANT?! TELL ME! What kind of a price does it take to buy you? Anything you want. Any price, but just let him out of there!"
"There is one thing I might accept."
"Yes?"
"Now, you said anything. You really care that much for him?"
"Any
price."
"Money, nah, that's really not quite so rare a
commodity. But your dignity. Your precious Barkley dignity, now that does
command a value. Now what is the price
of your brother's life? What is the
only thing? The only thing that will
take that key to the sweat box and give it to you! That is simple, very simple.
Your dignity."
"I... don't...?"
"Will you beg?
...Will you beg?! ...From a man
you hate! Will you get down on your
hands and knees and beg?!"
"Men don't
beg."
"Exactly."
He's mad! He plain mad! He wants me to beg, to get down on my knees and beg...I can't... I can't...
Heath! Think of Heath, he needs me, I can't let him
down, never! I won't let him down. I owe him.
How many times has he....What is the matter with you Nick! He would do it for you! If it's what this crazy bastard wants... if this is the price I have to pay then I'll
pay it! No price is too high to save my
brother, even Nick Barkley's dignity. No
price is too high, no price is too high, no price is too high, no price is too
high....
"I'M.... .....BEGGING!"
I hear laughter, a mad man's laughter. I'll kill him! I swear with the last bit of strength I have I'll kill him!
"Get him out of here!"
########################################
They had to pull me
off him. I never hated anyone as much
as I hated that miserable excuse for a human being. I could have happily killed him with my bare hands. It was the only picture I had in my head as
they dragged me away kicking; was my hands around his rotten neck. Squeezing the life's breath out of him! But when they threw me on the barracks's
floor my strength was gone. I had
nothing to give. He took it all! That bastard! He took it all!
I made a feeble attempt to plan an excape,
just me and Heath. I needed to get
Heath out of there. It was all I had
left. If it was the last thing on earth
I was ever going to do, it was to put what little energy I had to getting my
little brother out of that hell hole.
HEATH!
I wanted to scream out his name but I had no
strength. None. Exhaustion was my only friend. I couldn't get into my bunk, I slept on the
filthy floor where they dropped me. It
was what I deserved.
I failed him! I failed my brother. Dear God, he's going to die and it's my
fault! It's all my fault....it's all my
fault.... it's... all...my...fault....
I failed.... Heath.
Dedicated to Peter
Breck an exceptional actor