Trouble in a Small Town

Part 2

by Sharie05

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Part 2

For Heath the next few days drifted in and out of focus as he struggled to regain his strength. He slept most of the time and when he wasn't sleeping Nick was trying to either feed him or get him to drink. Seeing the sun peek over the buildings through his window he decided to get up and move closer for some fresh air. Leaning gently on his left side he managed to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. Pushing himself up with a shaky left arm he was soon sitting upright on the bed. Catching his breath and wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand he attempted to stand.

"Just what do you think you're doing!" Shouted Nick as he came through the door to Heath's room.

Startled by Nick's loud voice Heath started to fall back towards the bed. Rushing over and catching Heath around the waist, Nick helped lower him back into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Damit Heath! The doc told you to stay in that bed!" Shouted Nick as he stood in front of Heath with his hands firmly planted on his hips.

"Sorry Nick," replied Heath through clenched teeth as he sat with his left arm wrapped across his abdomen.

Seeing the pain etched on Heath's face and hearing it clearly in his voice, Nick dropped down on one knee in front of him. "What's wrong?" He asked concerned that Heath may have re-injured himself.

"Just need to catch... my breath." Replied Heath as he finally looked up at Nick. "That loud voice of yours... startled me," he added as he tried to smile.

"Startled you!" Shouted Nick as he stood up quickly. "Boy you're lucky I don't hogtie you to that bed! Just where did you think you were going? You can hardly walk!"

Heath looked towards the window and then back at Nick, "just felt like a little fresh air."

Looking over at the window Nick watched as the sheer curtains moved back and forth effortlessly in the light morning breeze. Remembering how much he hated being cooped up himself he came up with a plan. Sliding the chair from beside Heath's bed over to the window, Nick grabbed a few pillows and a blanket off the bed and placed them next to the chair. Sitting down on the bed next to Heath, Nick hatched his plan. "All right, swing your arm across my shoulders and I'll help you stand."

Placing his left arm across his brother's shoulders, Heath felt Nicks arm go across his back with his hand coming to rest on his right hip. "All right on the count of three we'll give this a try, one... two... three." Nick stood up slowly and tried to bear most of Heath's weight as they stood beside the bed together. "Now very slowly Heath let me guide you to the chair. I swear boy if you try and over do it I'll carry you right back to that bed." Nick threatened.

The eight-foot walk from the bed to the chair seemed more like eight miles to Heath. About half way there he was just about ready to give in when he felt a light breeze blow across his face. Clenching his teeth and willing himself forward he made it into the chair just as his legs gave out. Breathing hard he leaned back in the chair and closed his eye while trying to shut out the pain in his chest and shoulder.

After padding him with pillows and covering him with blankets Nick walked over and poured Heath a glass of water. "Here drink this," stated Nick, handing Heath the glass.

Drinking down the cool liquid he tried to relax. The gentle breeze blowing over him cooled the sweat on his forehead and tried to lull him to sleep. Looking down at the street he immediately noticed the change in the quiet little town. People where hustling here and there, chatting on the street, going in and out of shops, and generally doing the things normal townsfolk do. "It's changed so much," stated Heath as he continued to stare out the window.

Brushing the curtain back out of his way, Nick stood near the window and looked out at the street below. "They have their town back," replied Nick as he looked back at Heath. The sunlight shinning through the window accented the bruises on Heath's face and chest. The white bandages reflected the suns light as Nick thought about all Heath must have gone through, alone. Realizing he was staring at Heath he jumped up and started walking towards the door. "Don't you move, I'll be right back. I'm goin to see if I can rustle us up any grub. You're gettin way to skinny to work on a ranch." Exclaimed Nick as he went out the door.

Heath chuckled to himself as he continued to watch the busy street below. As the gentle breeze blew over him he began to surrender to the sand man.

Returning to the room Nick found Heath sound asleep in the chair. Setting down the tray he carried on the bed he sat on the windowsill and watched Heath sleep. Getting a good look at the boy he really noticed how frail and thin he looked. "I almost lost you once," he thought as he watched Heath. "I promise it won't happen again."

* * * * * * * * * *

He thought he could make the trip back home with little or no discomfort but by early afternoon he realized how wrong he'd been. Jarrod and Nick had tried to talk him into waiting a few more days but he wouldn't listen. He wanted to get away. Mary's death had hit him hard but deep down he'd known all along what happened to her. Having to see her father and her family everyday was just to hard for him. He felt like a failure, he should have been able to save her. Why was he allowed to survive and she not?

Nick looked over at Heath and noticed his brothers clenched jaw the sweat now covering his brow. Whistling to Jarrod, Nick pulled the wagon off to the side of the road.

"What'd ya stoppin for?" Asked Heath as he turned slightly to face Nick.

"You boy, that's what. You can hardly sit in that seat anymore!" Stated Nick as he jumped down from wagon and walked over to Heath's side.

"I'm fine," replied Heath as he looked straight ahead.

"Fine?! You couldn't go another mile!" Shouted Nick as he stood defiantly next to the wagon.

"What's the matter Nick?" Question Jarrod as he came up next to his brothers.

"Just look at him will ya, he can't go another mile!" Answered Nick as he pointed up at Heath.

"And I tell ya I'm fine!" Shouted Heath as he turned and faced Nick.

As Jarrod looked up at his younger brother he could see that Heath was indeed not holding up well. Most of the color had drained from his face making the bruises appear darker than they really were. Sweat dripped down his face even though the afternoon was relatively cool. "Well Heath, I don't know about you but I could sure use the rest. I haven't been in the saddle this much for quite some time now." Exclaimed Jarrod as he looked up at Heath.

Realizing Jarrod was giving him a way out Heath decided to take it. "All right but just for a few minutes," he replied as he started to climb down from the wagon.

Nick remained right behind Heath incase he fell as he climbed down off the wagon. "I'm not a child Nick, I can climb down out of a wagon." Stated Heath as he walked by his brother.

Nick clenched his fist but refused to say anything as he watched Heath sit down under a nearby Oak tree and close his eye. Ever since finding out about Mary's death Heath had become withdrawn and pushed people away, this worried Nick.

"He's about done in," said Nick as he walked around the back of the wagon to help Jarrod unload their supplies.

"I know he's just to stubborn to admit it," replied Jarrod as he continued unloading the wagon.

Stopping what he was doing Nick reached over hand grabbed Jarrod's arm, "have you noticed how quiet he's become?"

"Yes," answered Jarrod. "I'm just not sure how to help him. I think he feels somehow responsible for Mary's death and he's having a hard time dealing with it."

"But Mary's death had nothing to do with Heath," replied Nick as he stood facing Jarrod.

"You and I both know that Nick, trouble is we have to somehow convince Heath of that." Said Jarrod as he glanced over at Heath.

Closing his eye and resting up against the tree Heath tried to relax. His tender ribs and shoulder ached with every breath he took. His head constantly pounded in tune with the rhythm of his heart as he tried to relax. Exhausted he soon fell asleep.

Nick and Jarrod set up camp as Heath continued to sleep. As the sun began to set Nick went over and shook Heath. "Come on sleepy head, time for supper," said Nick as he shook Heath's good shoulder. Feeling the heat rising up through his shirt, Nick tried to touch Heath's forehead.

"Cut it out Nick," exclaimed Heath as he swatted Nick's hand away and struggled to stand up.

Grabbing Heath's arm Nick attempted to help him to his feet.

Shrugging off Nick's attempt at help Heath snapped at him, "you're not my mother Nick!"

"Damit boy I'm just trying to give you a hand!" Shouted Nick as his temper got the best of him.

"Well don't!" Heath spat back as he turned his back on Nick.

Grabbing Heath by his left arm Nick spun him around, "Don't think you can talk..." he began before realizing what he'd done. The pain and hurt showed clearly in Heath's eye and on his face as he looked at Nick. "I'm sorry Heath," he said letting go of his arm.

Walking past Nick, Heath went over and stood where the team had been tied and tried to bring his emotions under control. Running his hand through his hair he kicked himself for the way he'd acted. 'He was only trying to help and here I am bitin his head off for it." He thought as he looked off down the road.

Seeing Nick storm back into camp wound up like a pending tornado, Jarrod asked him what happened.

"I'll tell ya what happened! That darn headed fools hurt and he won't let anyone help him!" Shouted Nick as he plopped down next to the fire.

"What'd you say to him Nick?" Asked Jarrod as he moved closer.

"What makes you think it was me!" Replied Nick as he threw his hands up in the air. "All I did was try and help him up and he damn near bit my head off!"

"Where is he now?" Questioned Jarrod as he looked around in the growing darkness.

"He's over by the horses," answered Nick gruffly as he spooned some of the hot stew on to his plate.

Heath was pulling away and Jarrod knew it. He'd watched his new brother fight for acceptance and now watched as that fighting spirit he'd so admired dwindled away. He could remember the exact moment the fire died in Heath's eyes; it happened right after they told him the truth about Mary's death. He'd been asking about her for days before they finally felt he was strong enough to hear the truth. But once they told him Jarrod immediately regretted it. He could remember the anguished look on his mother's face when confronted with the news of his father's death. Heath's face resembled that of his mothers and it frightened Jarrod. He remembered feeling inadequate and useless as he tried to help his mother through her pain. He was afraid it would be the same way or even worse with Heath.

As he drew closer, he could hear the quiet man talking gently to the horses as he ran his hand over their flanks. Stopping he watched quietly as Heath continued his one sided conversation. In the waning light he could see how thin Heath had become, his shoulders were rounded forward and there was no energy in his movements. Jarrod thought back to the confident young man who'd just a few months ago rode into their lives. That confidence and vibrancy was now gone, some how he'd have to find a way to bring Heath back.

"There you are," stated Jarrod in an upbeat mood as he walked up beside Heath. "I don't suppose you might be hungry for any of my special stew." He added as he clapped Heath on his good shoulder.

"Special stew?" Questioned Heath as he turned around.

"It's a term both Nick and Eugene use to describe my cooking talents, or lack there of." He laughed. "I wouldn't mind another opinion if you're game."

Heath wasn't really hungry but he didn't want to let Jarrod down. He figured he could eat a little and then claim to be tired and go off by himself. "I guess I could do that," replied Heath as he walked back to the camp with Jarrod.

Nick was still seated by the campfire eating his stew as Jarrod and Heath walked up. He looked up briefly but said nothing as Heath sat across the campfire from him. His temper was still getting the best of him but as he stole more and more glances at Heath, his anger began to dissolve.

"This isn't half bad," lied Heath as he lifted up his fork to Jarrod.

"Now I know you aren't feeling right!" Stated Nick defiantly as he looked across the campfire at Heath.

"I'm just not very hungry," he replied as he looked away from Nick and turned to face Jarrod. "I think I'll go turn in."

As Heath walked away from the campfire Jarrod threw an irritated look Nick's way.

"What'd I say?" Questioned Nick as he stood up and scraped off his plate. "You know he's lying, you can see how sick he's getting." Added Nick as he pointed in the direction Heath went.

"He needs to eat Nick," replied Jarrod as he started to eat himself.

"Don't you think I've been tryin? I've been forcing food on that boy for days but he hasn't been eating enough to keep a damn bird alive!" Shouted Nick as he paced back and forth in front of the fire. "We should a never told him." Nick added quietly as he began to calm down.

"He would have found out about her death sooner or later Nick." Replied Jarrod as he set down his plate.

"Well later then, after he'd had time to heal!" Answered a frustrated Nick.

"What's done is done Nick, we can't turn back now."

Nick sat down in front of the fire and poked at it with a stick. He promised himself he'd always watch over Heath but he was finding that promise harder and harder to keep. Heath didn't want his or anyone else's help, and trying to force help on him only made matters worse. He began to wish he'd been the one to ride on up ahead instead of Gene to prepare Dr. Merar and the family for their homecoming. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take watching Heath slowly push himself farther and farther away. Throwing the stick into the fire he went over to check on Heath. He found his new brother wrapped in his bedroll asleep under the same Oak tree he had fallen asleep under earlier. Reaching down gently he placed his hand on top of Heath's head and immediately felt the heat radiating from it. "I knew he was sick!" He thought as he placed another blanket over Heath. "Just what is he trying to prove?" Nick wondered as he watched him sleep.

Heath remained quiet and kept to himself for the remainder of the trip. His appetite hadn't improved any and neither had his disposition. Both Nick and Jarrod could see what a physical toll this trip had taken on their new brother. As they finally crossed over into Barkley land both brothers sighed in relief. They were home, and home was where the one person who could talk some sense back into Heath was, mother.

As they pulled up in front of the house he had longed to call home, Heath had the sudden urge to run; to be anywhere but here. Eugene, Victoria, Audra, and Silas rushed through the front doors as the wagon came to a stop. Withdrawing into himself he awaited the questions and comments of concern he knew were soon to come. Slowly climbing down the side of the wagon resisting anyone's help Heath came face to face with the woman he longed to call Mother.

"Welcome home Heath," she said quietly as she gently took his hand in her own. "You must be tired after such a long trip, why don't we get you upstairs so you can rest before the doctor gets here." She squeezed his hand tightly as she led him into the house. Their trek up the stairs was a slow one. Victoria tried to offer support but Heath stoically refused any help. It took all of her strength not to break down as she tucked his battered body into bed. She held his hand and ran her fingers through his hair as she tried to lull him to sleep. The tears came as his breathing changed and his body relaxed into the bed. She gently touched the large bandage covering his left eye; she could see the bruising on his face radiating out from underneath. His nose was swollen and discolored as was his chin and lower lip. She could see the bandages circling his chest and ribs and noticed how his right arm was securely strapped across his chest. There were bruises and cuts on his hands and wrists and she could only imagine the extent of his bruising beneath the bandages. She could feel the heat beginning to radiate up from his head as she continued to run her fingers through his hair. A while later a light tap on the door caused her to look up as Dr. Merar entered and walked over to her side.

"Thank you for coming Howard."

"You're welcome Victoria, Eugene filled me in on some of the details involving Heath. What's say we take a good look at him," offered Howard as he smiled at Victoria.

Howard sat his bag on the dresser next to Heath's bed and began his examination. It was evident that the boy had taken quite a beating. Although the bruises were more than a week old they still stood out from his pale completion. As Howard removed the bandage that covered Heath's eye, Victoria gasped aloud as she saw the ugly wound. Poking around the sutured wound Howard elicited moans from Heath as he began to awaken.

"Good afternoon young man," stated Howard as Heath opened his eye and looked around the room.

"Doc," replied Heath rather groggily.

"Heath if you don't mind I'd like to take a good look at you, see how your injuries are healing."

"No need Doc, I'm fine." Replied Heath as he started to wake up.

Howard looked up at Victoria and then back down to his patient, "well Heath I think we have a difference of opinion. From the looks of you I'd say you're anything but all right."

Pushing himself up slowly, Heath sat up and looked the doctor in the eye. "I'm fine doc, I don't need no tending."

Victoria could see the sweat beading up on Heath's forehead; the effort it took for him to sit up in the bed was quickly taking its toll. "Heath please," pleaded Victoria as she placed her hand on his good shoulder.

He knew he shouldn't look up but he did. The sadness and worry in her eyes cut right into his heart, the last thing he'd wanted to do was to hurt this woman. Realizing the only way he could reverse that hurt and worry in her eyes was to let the doctor examine him. Lying back down on the bed Heath readied himself for the inevitable questions he knew the doctor would ask.

"Heath I'd first like to take a look at that eye of yours. I want to make sure there's no damage to the cornea. I'm not sure if I'll be able to see much it's still extremely swollen."

Heath turned his head as stared at the wall as the doctor poked and prodded around his eye. Taking a warm cloth Howard gently washed the area around Heath's eye before gently trying to pull his eyelids apart. As light found it's way into Heath's eye it sliced straight through to his brain. Crying out loud Heath grabbed Howard's arm and pulled him away from his face.

"Please doc, no more." Heath stated through clenched teeth.

"All right Heath, the fact your eye is still sensitive to light is a good sign." Said Howard as he readied a clean bandage. "I'd like to leave the sutures in a few more days Heath, I'm also going to place this gauze underneath the bandage to help pad your eye a little."

Heath let the doctor tend to the wounds on his face and hands as he stared at the ceiling trying hard to quell the pounding in his head. It wasn't until Howard unwrapped his ribs that Heath showed some discomfort. Victoria took one look at his clenched jaw and the beads of sweat rolling off his forehead and knew he was in pain. As Victoria looked down at Heath's chest and stomach she immediately knew why. His stomach and chest were covered with bruises, some as black as night and others that changed from a deep purple, to a dark blue and then to a greenish yellow color. The fact that he was so thin also alarmed her, his ribs stuck out and his stomach sank in.

Howard pressed and felt all around Heath's ribs and stomach area. The tenderness and the way Heath jumped when he pressed on his stomach caused Howard the greatest concern. "Heath how long has this area been so tender?" Asked Howard as he positioned himself near Heath's head.

"Bout a week now," replied Heath quietly.

"Any trouble eating? Keeping things down?"

"Some."

Victoria looked across the bed at Howard, he could see the worry in her eyes as she turned and looked back down at Heath.

"Heath I want you to let me know immediately if your stomach gets any worse, all right?" Stated Howard in a stern voice.

Heath nodded his head and continued to stare at the ceiling.

"You've got several broken ribs and that collar bone isn't going to heal over night. You're to get plenty of rest and the more you stay in bed the better. Let me rewrap these ribs of yours and we'll have Silas bring you up something to eat, you're getting a little to thin. Next time I see you I want to see some more meat on those bones Heath." Stated Howard, as he looked Heath in his good eye.

Heath remained quiet as Howard finished up and finally left the room with Victoria. Slowly pulling himself up he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. The room spun for a moment causing him to garb on to the dresser for support before everything once again settled down. Picking up the picture of his mother, he stared at her smiling face. But today her warm smile brought him no joy. Laying her picture face down on his dresser he walked over to the window and stared out at the corral. He watched as the hands worked with a fresh crop of new horses. Normally he enjoyed watching the men work but even this couldn't stop him from remembering her face, her eyes. The anguished hopeless look in her eyes as the sheriff straddled her was burned into his memory forever. The frustration and anger he felt not being able to help her still burned inside him, nothing it seemed could extinguish it. There was no way to make it right, no way to take away the pain, and no way to bring her back.

Howard and Victoria were greeted at the bottom of the stairs by three anxious faces and one whirlwind. "Well?" Questioned Nick as he walked up to Howard.

"Well Nick I'm afraid Heath isn't going to be much help around the ranch for quite some time." Replied Howard as Silas handed him his coat and hat. "He's going to need plenty of rest and a lot of rehabilitation once that collar bone heals. I've asked your mother to keep an eye on him. I'm a little concerned about how tender his abdomen is, especially after all this time."

"Is there anything else we can do?" Piped up Audra.

"Just make sure he gets plenty of rest and food. He needs to build his strength back up."

"May we go up and see him?" Questioned Audra as she started to climb the stairs.

"Audra lets give Heath a chance to rest, he's exhausted." Stated Victoria as she held onto Audra's arms. "You can visit with him later. The same goes for you Nick." Added Victoria as she watched her middle son take the steps two at a time.

Stopping in his tracks Nick turned around to address his mother. "I'm just making sure he has everything he needs."

Victoria folded her arms across her chest and gave Nick her best you had better do as I ask look.

Seeing the serious look on his mother's face Nick retraced his steps down the stairs. "Boys why don't you and Audra go into the study, I'll be with you in a moment." Stated Victoria as she escorted Dr. Merar to the door.

"Victoria be sure and send for me if there are any changes for the worse in Heath's condition." Stated Howard as he put on his hat and opened the door.

"I will Howard, thank you." Closing the door, Victoria leaned against it and closed her eyes. Her children were home; all those nights of worrying and waiting were finally over. She marveled at the way Nick finally allowed Heath into his heart. She knew the bond between them would only grow stronger with time. Time, time could heal all wounds, but could it heal Heath's?

Nick had just finished handing Jarrod a glass of whiskey when Victoria entered the study. Walking up to Nick and Jarrod, Victoria started asking questions. "Eugene explained Heath's injuries," she began as she looked over at her youngest son. "But I need to know what happened to him, why is he so withdrawn?"

Nick looked into his mother's eyes and saw her pain. She wanted to help Heath but needed to understand how. "Sit down mother, this isn't going to be easy." Said Nick as he escorted his mother to a chair.

Surrounded by her two eldest sons, Victoria listened as they told of the brutality Heath had suffered through, alone. The countless beatings he had endured at the hands of a madman and his henchmen. The only bright spot had come when a young woman befriended him and cared enough to seek out help. The young women had been killed in the attempt to free Heath, and Heath couldn't seem to get past it. He blamed himself for her death.

"These past few days have been the worst. He's shutting us out more and more." Stated Nick, "the entire trip home we knew he was feeling poorly but he wouldn't let us help him. Talk about a pig headed mule!"

About as pig headed as somebody else I know, whispered Gene as he leaned in towards Audra.

Whipping around Nick pointed a finger at Eugene, "I heard that!"

Ignoring Nick, Jarrod turned towards his mother, "we've tried telling him none of this was his fault but he refuses to talk about any of it. Every time we try and bring it up he just builds his wall higher."

Victoria sat and absorbed everything her sons said. There had to be a way to reach Heath. She simply would not let him wallow in self-pity forever. "Right now he needs our support, all of our support." Stated Victoria as she looked up at Nick. "We need to keep him engaged in the daily goings on of the ranch. The more we engage him in every day activities the less time he'll have to sit and think about the past."

"Mother are you sure that's a good idea?" Questioned Jarrod as he leaned forward.

"No Jarrod, but I will not sit by and watch him tear himself apart. I think when he's finally ready he'll tell us his feelings." Replied Victoria. Even as the words left her lips she was unsure she was doing the right thing. Was ignoring what happened to Heath the right way to get through to him? Only time would tell.

He awoke slowly as a cool cloth once again soothed his hot neck and chest. The beating in his head still remained as he pondered weather or not to fully awaken or to try once again to gain some relief from his constant pain. Hearing a feminine voice humming quietly next to him he decided to open his eye. "Well hello big brother," greeted Audra happily as she smiled down at him.

The blueness of her eyes startled him momentarily; visions of Mary swam around in his head as he tried to push them back down below the surface.

Seeing the sudden look of alarm on his face worried Audra. "Heath what is it? Should I get Mother or Nick?"

Realizing he alarmed his sister he tried to correct the rapidly deteriorating situation. "Sorry sis, guess I'm just not used to seeing such a pretty face when I wake up." He stated, trying to cover his lie with a smile.

Audra smiled back at her brother, "you certainly are a charmer Heath." She stated before bending over and kissing his forehead. Placing her hand on his forehead and ruffling his hair slightly she confirmed what her lips had felt; his head was very warm to the touch. "Can I get you something to drink?" She asked cheerfully as she re-moistened the cloth and used it to wipe Heath's forehead.

"Thanks sis," replied Heath as he tried to remain upbeat in front of his sister.

Audra helped him drink the cool liquid; the constant pounding in his head seemed to diminish slightly as the water made its way down his throat. Lying back in the bed he took a closer look at his little sister. He could see the worry etched clearly on her face even as she tried to hide it behind a smile. His heart sank a little as he realized he was the reason for that worry.

"How's the dance coming along?" He asked trying to lighten her mood. Pulling her chair just a little closer to his bed, Audra began telling him everything she'd done and was planning for the up coming dance. As Heath listened he found himself slowly drifting away, he watched as Audra's lips moved but no sound came out. The walls of his room started to swirl and melt away revealing the cold stonewalls of his former jail cell. As his prison once again formed around him, John Crocker's laugh echoed through his head. Bars appeared in his minds eye in front of Audra as the form of John Crocker rose up behind her. Heath watched as Audra continued to smile and chat away as the demon known as John Crocker drew ever closer to her.

"What's the matter boy?" Laughed John as he placed his hand on Audra's shoulder. "Don't think I'm good enough for your little sister?" He asked as he threw his head back and laughed. Heath watched as Audra looked up at him and smiled lovingly. Fear, rage, and sheer hatred raced through his blood as he struggled to get up out of bed. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder and stomach he struggled to his feet. His one mission was to protect his sister, he couldn't and wouldn't allow what happened to Mary to happen again, he'd die first.

Watching as Heath's eye glazed over as he struggled to get out of bed, Audra became frightened. "Heath you shouldn't be up," she stated in a worried voice as she held onto his arm. She could feel his body shaking and saw both fear and then hatred in his eye as he looked right past her.

Brushing Audra to the side with his left arm, Heath reached for John. Grabbing him by the neck, Heath pushed him up against the dresser and tried to choke the life out of him.

"Heath No!" Shouted Audra as she grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from Nick.

Looking into Heath's eye, Nick knew he wasn't there. His brother was in a different time and place. Grabbing Heath's arm he tried to break his brothers grip without inflicting further injury on him. Heath's grip was amazingly strong given his current physical condition. Even using both his hands, Nick was having a hard time pulling Heath off. "Finally breaking his brothers grip Nick tried to get through to him as Heath continued to struggle. "Heath... Heath it's me Nick!" He shouted.

Heath couldn't see or hear his brother, he only saw and heard John Crocker. Having the use of only one arm made subduing John extremely difficult. Ignoring his own pain he continued to try and gain the upper hand, Audra's cries only fueled his intensity.

"Heath damit! Calm down!" Shouted Nick as he wrestled as gently as he could with his brother. Dodging Heath's attempt at punches, Nick grabbed Heath's left arm and twisted it around behind his back. Pushing him forward Nick used his new leverage to pin Heath up against the dresser.

With Audra's cries still ringing in his ears, Heath tried to use all his remaining strength to break free of John's grasp. Feeling Heath's struggles intensify, Nick pressed him harder against the dresser while still trying to communicate who he was.

The pressure against his weakened chest was just to great; darkness invaded the edges of his vision as his ribcage refused to expand far enough for his lungs to draw in air. Feeling Heath's resistance ease some, Nick loosed his grip on Heath's arm slightly but kept him firmly pressed against the dresser.

As Jarrod dashed into the room he saw Nick struggling with Heath. As the darkness finally took him over, Heath collapsed into Nick's arms.

"Jarrod help me with him," pleaded Nick frantically as he tried to cradle Heath in his arms. Rushing to his brothers' side, Jarrod helped Nick carry Heath back over to the bed. After finally getting him situated in bed, Nick carefully looked him over to make sure he hadn't sustained any new injuries.

Hearing the swish of his mothers dress, Nick looked up as she rushed up next to him. "Nick what happened? She asked as she looked down on Heath's pale sweaty face.

"I'm not sure Mother," answered Nick quietly as he stared down at Heath.

Looking over to Audra for answers, Victoria found her nestled in Jarrod's protective arms. "Audra can you explain what happened?" She asked while brushing the tears off her daughter's cheeks.

"Oh Mother it was awful," she cried as she fell into Victoria's arms. " One minute Heath was asking me about the dance and the next he was up and trying to strangle Nick." Nick looked up when Audra said his name and Victoria could clearly see the red marks on his neck.

"Nick did you say anything to him?" Questioned Jarrod as he joined Nick at Heath's bedside.

"No," came Nick's solemn reply before turning his attention back to Heath.

"Nick you must have done something," exclaimed Jarrod as he turned Nick towards him. "Why else would he try and harm you?"

"I'm telling you I didn't do or say anything!" Shouted Nick as he poked Jarrod in the chest with his finger.

Standing his ground Jarrod looked directly in to Nick's eyes, what he saw there he hadn't seen sense his father's death over six years ago. "I'm sorry Nick."

Taking his brothers apology in stride Nick once again turned his attentions towards his little brother. Looking down on Heath, he wondered how it was possible for someone to look so pale and still be alive. Sitting down in the chair next to Heath's bed, Nick took the cloth out of the water basin and started wiping Heath's face and chest. He watched as Heath's chest barely rose at all; his body was so still it really started to worry him.

"Mother I think we should send for the doctor," said Nick as he turned slowly towards her. "I think something's wrong."

Victoria walked up to the side of the bed and placed her hand on Heath's forehead. "Dear god he's burning up. Jarrod go downstairs and get Eugene, tell him to bring up plenty of ice from the cellar. Audra go and get one of the hands, have them ride into town for the doctor."

Dr. Merar drove his small buggy as fast as his horse could take him. He had a pretty good idea what was wrong with Heath and he had little time to waste. Pulling up in front of the big house he was meet by Ciego who took his horse and buggy from him. Silas met him at the front door and took his coat and hat quickly before leading him up the grand staircase to Heath's room.

The mood in Heath's room was one of worry and frustration. Five extremely worried faces looked up at the doctor as he entered the room and walked over next to Heath's bed. Looking down at Heath the first thing he noticed was his pale complexion, the second was the fine layer of perspiration that coated his face, neck, and chest. Taking out his watch he picked up Heath's wrist and began timing his heart rate, just as he had expected it was well above normal. He could feel the intense heat rising off of Heath's body as he began to examine his chest, ribs, and stomach area. Cutting off the bandages that encircled Heath's chest and stomach area, Howard began feeling around. The area was still very rigid and bruised, and this had Howard worried. Standing up he walked over and faced Victoria.

"Victoria, I'm going to have to operate. I believe Heath may have injured his spleen. I suspect that it may be the cause for his high fever." Said Howard as he held Victoria's hand.

Victoria looked around at her children before answering Howard, "do what you think is best Howard, just please make him well again." Stated Victoria as she squeezed his hand.

"Doc, how are his chances?" Questioned Nick as he took a step towards Howard.

"I'm not going to lie Nick, they're not good. If his spleen has indeed ruptured then his abdomen has been filling with bacteria for quite some time now." Replied Howard, turning away from Nick he walked back to the dresser next to Heath's bed and readied his instruments. "I'll need some more light and more ice for Heath. We need to bring his temperature down more."

"I'll get some more lanterns," replied Jarrod as he dashed from the room.

"I'll bring up some more ice," said Eugene as he followed Jarrod out the door.

"Audra could you bring me some hot water and plenty of towels," asked Howard as he began to ready his patient. With a quick nod Audra left the room to get the items Howard requested.

"Nick I may need you or Jarrod to give him some blood," said Howard as he looked up at Nick.

"Sure thing doc," answered Nick as he continued to stare at Heath.

The room was soon bathed in light as Nick and Eugene continued to place more ice around Heath. "That's enough for now boys." Stated Howard as he started to wash Heath's abdomen. "I'll need you to stay in case Heath needs a transfusion Nick. But I'm afraid everyone else must leave."

"I'm sorry Howard but I'm not leaving Heath's side." Stated Victoria defiantly as she walked up next to the bed. "Besides you'll need someone to assist you." She added as she looked him in the eye.

"All right Victoria but just you and Nick, I don't want to run the risk of further infection." Stated Howard as he readied his instruments. Jarrod, Audra, and Eugene reluctantly left the room only to stand in the hallway outside of Heath's room.

"I'm going to give him some chloroform but only a little, his breathings already impaired. Nick I'll need you to keep a close eye on him, let me know if anything changes or if he starts to come around." Stated Howard as he washed his instruments in the hot water Audra had provided him.

Pulling a chair up to the side of the bed opposite Howard, Nick sat down and watched his new brother.

"Victoria, if you'll stand over here." Said Howard as he motioned for Victoria to join him next to the bed. Pointing down at Heath, Howard explained the procedure to Victoria. "I'm going to make an incision here, once I locate the spleen I'll tie off the blood vessels to it so I can remove it and minimize bleeding. I'll need you to hold the forceps for me, I may ask you to wipe blood away. Can you handle that Victoria?"

"Yes," replied Victoria as she took up her position next to the doctor. Taking one last look at Heath's pale face before they began, she sent a silent prayer up to heaven.

Nick watched as Heath's chest moved up and down ever so slowly. Even as Howard cut into Heath nothing about him changed. He didn't move, he didn't cry out, his breathing never even changed. Nick had been ready to do battle in order to get Heath to remain still while the doctor worked, but Heath hadn't moved. He almost wished Heath had fought with him, at least then he'd know Heath had some fight left in him. But this, this was hard to take. His brother looked more like a corpse than a person.

"Victoria, hold the clamp right here." Stated Howard as he positioned the clamp in Victoria's hand. "I'm going to tie off the blood vessels to the spleen," he said as Victoria watched him work the needle and thread inside the wound. "There that's the last one, now I'll cut them away and pull out the spleen."

Victoria watched as Howard cut the last blood vessel and pulled out the spleen. "Looks like there's a small laceration on the backside." Stated Howard as he turned Heath's spleen over in his hand. "The contents of his spleen have been slowly leaking out into his abdomen. That's why his temperatures so high. Hold this cloth inside the wound while I heat this," stated Howard as he walked over to the fire with a small metal rod.

"OK Victoria you can remove the towel now, just hold the clamp wide open for me."

Victoria did as asked and watched as Howard carefully lowered the hot instrument into Heath's wound. Small trails of smoke came rising out of the cavity as the doctor cauterized the ends of the blood vessels to stop any further bleeding. "I don't see any further damage, Victoria. Let me wash this out and then I'll sew him back up." Stated Howard as he took the warm wet clothes from the bowl next to him and began cleaning out the wound.

Victoria turned her head away from the gory site and looked up at Nick. He was quietly sitting by Heath's head wiping the sweat off of his face. Victoria could clearly see the concern on Nick's face as he looked down at his younger brother. "Hold on Heath, were almost done," thought Victoria as she turned her attention back to the task at hand.

Howard had the incision sewed up in no time and once again checked Heath's pulse. He frowned as Heath's pulsed raced along under his finger. "There's not much left to do but wait." Stated Howard as he looked up at Victoria. "I'm not sure how long his spleens been leaking. We'll have to see if his body can fight off the infection."

"Nick why don't you go downstairs and tell everyone what's happened. I'll stay with Heath." Stated Victoria as she walked up next to Nick.

"All right Mother, but I'll be back." Said Nick as he rose up and placed a kiss on her cheek.

Victoria watched as Nick left the room, turning to Howard she spoke. "He still looks so pale Howard, isn't there anything more we can do?"

"Victoria I wish there were. Heath's young and he's strong, both those things should work in his favor." Replied Howard.

Victoria knew Howard was right but something inside her told her there was more dragging Heath down than just his physical injuries. Something else had happened in that jail cell, something Heath couldn't or wouldn't tell them about.

As day turned into night, time passed by slowly as the entire family assisted by Doctor Merar took turns keeping Heath bathed in ice and watched over him for any sign of his awakening. "Mother why don't you, Gene and Audra go and get some rest, Nick and I'll look after Heath." Stated Jarrod as he held on to his mother's arms.

Looking up into her eldest son's blue eyes had always brought Victoria great comfort and tonight was no exception. "Jarrod please come and wake me the moment he wakes up, all right?" Stated Victoria as she hugged her son.

"Certainly Mother," answered Jarrod as he released her.

Nick looked up from Heath's side as he heard the door open. He watched as his mother, Gene, and Audra left the room. "I told them to get some sleep," stated Jarrod as he walked up next to Nick. "Maybe you should join them, I can watch Heath."

"I'm staying Jarrod, I have a feeling he's gonna need me." Said a very worried Nick before turning his attention back on Heath.

Jarrod took a seat across the bed from Nick and watched as Heath continued to battle for his life. His cheeks had taken on a reddish glow that looked very unnatural to Jarrod. The rest of his face was so pale in comparison; the redness of his cheeks reminded him of the makeup most saloon girls wore.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep but Nick's loud voice woke him right up. He opened his eyes only to find Nick fighting to keep Heath down on the bed. For some reason Heath was shouting and fighting with Nick.

His one and only thought was to help Mary. Mary was in trouble and he need to find her. He had to find a way to get out of his cell so he could save her from John Crocker. But John's men had him pinned down on the dirty cell floor. Their hands were holding him down as their feet kicked him and stomped on him. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get away from them, he couldn't get free. Then he heard her scream. Mary, she was close and John had her. John's laughter filled the small cell as his men held Heath to the floor and laughed along with their boss. Struggling as hard as he could he was no match for the men that held him. Hearing Mary's quiet sobs as John had his way with her took all the fight out of him. He lay back and let the men beat him. Closing his eye and knowing that he had failed her once again he retreated back, back away from John Crocker and his men. Back away from everyone.

* * * * * * * * * *

He was dumped back in to the dark sea once again. But this time he had to struggle to stay afloat. No comforting visions greeted him as he strained to keep his head above water. The waves no longer gently carried him along; instead they tried to push him under. The longer he struggled the more combative the waves became; they crashed over his head with increasing frequency. Their icy fingers stabbing at him, holding him under until he thought his lungs would burst before releasing him only to start the torment all over again. His body began to go numb as the waters icy hold chilled him to the bone. His arms and legs grew more and more sluggish as the waters icy chill enveloped him. As his head started to sink below the waters surface his thoughts turned towards his brother Nick. Nick wouldn't understand, he wouldn't understand why he had to give up, why he needed peace. Nick would only hate him for giving up, for not fighting for what he wanted, what he believed in. Nick had finally accepted him as a brother and he was throwing it all away. He was just so tired; he couldn't fight the waters pull alone. As thoughts of failing his brother ran through his head Heath found a new strength. Kicking as hard and as fast as his sluggish legs could carry him he broke through the surface on last time. Calling out his brother's name he reached up with his left arm as a huge wave crashed over his head and drove him back down into the cold icy depths. As the water invaded his mouth and swept down his throat, his heart ached with the loss of his family. As he closed his eyes and gave into the inevitable he felt a tug on his arm.

One minute Heath had been combative and fighting to get free and the next comatose. Jarrod was at his side now as Nick checked Heath over.

"Nick what happened?" Questioned Jarrod as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Nick looked up and Jarrod could see the pain and worry deeply etched on his tired face. "I'm not sure Jarrod," Nick began slowly. "One minute he was screaming at someone and telling them to stay away from Mary, and the next he just seemed to give up and slipped back down into the bed."

Jarrod reached down and felt Heath's forehead, "Nick he's even hotter than before!" Exclaimed a worried Jarrod, "I'll be right back with the doctor," he added before racing from the room.

Nick placed his hand on Heath's head and felt waves of heat just radiating off of him. Breaking up some more ice he placed it around his brother in an effort to cool him. Just as he sat back down and began wiping his brothers brow, Heath started to struggle weakly. Fearing that Heath would injure himself further, Nick tried to get him to quiet down. Pushing down gently on his left shoulder Nick tried to keep Heath from moving about. "Come on Heath settle down, you're gonna be fine boy just relax."

Nick watched as Heath opened and closed his mouth in an attempt to gulp in air. Nick felt Heath's struggles decrease before rising up once again. As he looked down he saw his brothers eye open slightly, then Heath uttered three words that tore straight into and through his heart. "Nick... help... me..."

Grabbing Heath's outstretched hand Nick pulled him forward and embraced him. "I'm here Heath, I'm here." He repeated over and over again as he gently cradled his brother in his arms. He could feel Heath shaking as he held his brother and rocked him gently as they sat on the bed together. Heath's hand was locked around Nick's arm, Nick was surprised at the strength Heath still possessed.

Jarrod quickly followed by Doctor Merer rushed into Heath's room. They were surprised to find Nick sitting on Heath's bed with his brother cradled in his arms. "He's all right doc," Nick said quietly as Heath's head rested on his shoulder. "I think his fever may have broken."

Howard reached up and felt Heath's forehead, it did indeed feel cooler than earlier. Taking out his watch he gripped Heath's wrist as it lay limply in Nick's lap and checked his pulse. For the first time all day Heath's pulse was almost back to normal. "I see you're trying to take my job away from me," stated Howard as he smiled down at Nick. "You're right, his fevers broken."

Jarrod let out a sigh of relief and walked up to the bed next to his brothers. Reaching down he placed his hand on Heath's head; he did indeed feel cooler than he had just a few moments ago.

"Why don't you lie him back down Nick, that way I can get a better look at him." Stated Howard as he walked up along side Nick.

As Nick started to lean forward so he could gently place Heath back on the bed he felt his brother grip his arm even tighter. "Don't...let... me...go." Heath said more as a moan than anything else. Sitting back up Nick felt his brother relax once again. "I don't think he wants ta lie down doc." Replied Nick, as he kept a firm grip on his little brother.

"All right Nick, just make sure he doesn't move around to much. I don't want his incision opening up. Try and get him to drink if you can, there's a pitcher on the table." Stated Howard as he poured Nick a glass and set it on the dresser. "Jarrod why don't you help me change these wet sheets while Nick holds Heath."

Once the sheets were changed Nick tried to lay Heath down on the bed but Heath still wouldn't let go of his arm. Holding onto his brother Nick placed himself between Heath and the headboard. Leaning back against the headboard he laid his younger brother back against his chest so he was in a reclined position. This gave Howard a chance to check Heath's incision.

"How's it look Doc?" Asked Nick as he continued to hold Heath.

"Fine Nick, just fine," replied Howard as he placed a clean bandage on the wound. "I'd say he's finally beaten the infection. Now we have to build up his strength."

"Nick you look exhausted," stated Jarrod as he sat in the chair next to Heath's bed. "Why don't you let me take him for a while so you can catch some shut eye."

"I can't leave him right now Jarrod," replied Nick as he looked at his older brother. "He needs me."

As Jarrod looked at Nick and Heath together he believed what Nick said to be true. Some how his younger brothers had formed a bond so strong it had saved one of them from death. Heath needed Nick now more than ever, Nick was his anchor. Nick was the one person he could count on to pull him up out of the abyss.

* * * * * * * * * *

As the morning sun found it's way into Heath's room, it's rays washed over a site Victoria thought she may never see. Nick lay up against the headboard of Heath's bed sleeping with his little brother resting against him. Walking up next to the sleeping pair, Victoria reached down and felt Heath's forehead. She was relieved to find it cool, his face held more color this morning as well she noted. Bending down she placed a kiss on the top of Nick's head.

Slowly waking, Nick looked up to find his Mother standing over him and smiling. "Morning Mother, how's Heath?" He asked feeling his brothers head.

"His fevers gone," replied Victoria as she watched her son attend to his brother.

"He had a rough night," exclaimed Nick as Victoria adjusted the blankets around Heath.

"I don't think he's the only one," answered Victoria as she observed the dark circles under Nick's eyes. "I can take care of him now Nick, you need some more rest." Victoria watched as Nick looked down at Heath, felt his forehead and opened his mouth to object. "Nicholas, you won't do him any good if you make yourself sick."

Realizing his mother was right he gently eased himself out from underneath Heath. Making sure his brother was securely tucked under the covers Nick turned and kissed his mother's cheek. "Come and wake me if he needs me."

Embracing her son before he left, Victoria assured him that she would.

It wasn't until late afternoon that Heath started to regain consciousness. His body felt weighted down as he lay in the bed deciding weather or not he wanted to attempt opening his eyes. Feeling a gentle touch on his cheek he decided to try. Victoria was standing next to his bed smiling as the late afternoon sun reflected off the walls behind her. It took him a moment to realize where he was before he tried to move. The pain in his stomach wasn't as sharp as he remembered but it was still there.

"Heath, lie still. Let me get you some water." Reaching over to the dresser Victoria picked up the glass of water, gently lifting up Heath's head she helped him slowly drink.

The water felt wonderful going down his parched throat. As he slowly finished the glass Victoria offered him another. Shaking his head no, he laid back and closed his eye for a moment. Feeling Victoria’s fingers gently comb through his hair he looked up at her. The woman he longed to call mother looked down on him with such love in her eyes that he had to look away. "Heath, what is it?" Questioned Victoria as she saw the hurt look in his eye before he turned away.

Realizing she’d read his face he cursed himself before turning his head back towards her. "It’s nothing ma’am." He replied quietly.

Reaching down and cupping his cheek in her hand she tried to break through the new wall he was building. "I’ve seen and heard many things in my day Heath, and I can most certainly tell when someone I love is lying to me. Sweetheart, I know your hiding something from us, from me. Something that happened to you in that town."

His heart beat faster and faster and his breathing quickened as he realized Victoria was on to him. His heart ached at the thought of bringing this magnificent woman pain. He had already hurt her by coming here, he couldn’t hurt her again by letting her know what a failure he’d become. "I’m just tired is all ma’am." He answered turning his head away from her again and closing his eye.

The word "ma’am" tore through her heart. She just wanted to hold him, to take all his hurt and pain away. "All right Heath. But know I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk sweetheart." She said as she once again ran her fingers thorough his hair. "I’ll be right back with some soup."

As her heard her footsteps leave his bedside and cross the floor to his door, he turned his head and watched her leave. Closing his eye and clenching his left fist he cursed himself for causing her pain

* * * * * * * * * *

"Heath, it's your move." Stated Audra as she looked across the checker board at her brother.

"Huh...Oh, sorry sis." Replied Heath as he absently moved one of his pieces to another spot on the board before turning his head back towards the fire.

Audra watched as the fires reflection danced on Heath's face. His many cuts and bruises were slowly, thankfully, starting to fade away. Dr. Merer had taken the stitches out of his chin and from underneath his left eye but the eye remained covered due to it's continued sensitivity to light. His nose had a little bump in the middle where it had been broken but he was finally able to breath through it without much trouble. His right arm still remained in a sling and wasn't of much use to him, but he didn't complain about it and this bothered Audra. Normally you couldn't get Heath or Nick to sit still for more than five minutes during the day. But ever since Heath returned home all he did was sit around in his own protective private cocoon. Oh he participated in family functions but always remained in the background only answering questions if they happened to come his way. Once Dr. Merer had given him the freedom to walk around Audra figured with his great love for the outdoors, Heath would be anxious to go outside and walk around the ranch. But that hadn't been the case, most of the time Heath laid up in his room staring at the ceiling or out the window at something only he could see. For Audra, seeing him this way was worse than seeing the physical scares the beatings had given him. She wanted her big brother back and would do anything to make him feel whole again.

"Heath, we don't have to play any more if you don't want too." She stated, trying to draw him into a conversation. "It's a lovely evening outside, we could go for a walk."

"Sorry sis, I'm not really up to takin a walk just yet." He replied quietly as he threw her a small smile hoping that would appease her.

"How about just to mother's garden? We could sit and you could teach me about the stars again." Stated Audra anxiously as she tried to get Heath involved.

"Maybe another night sis," replied Heath as he slowly rose from his chair. "I'm a little tired, I think I'll head on up to bed."

Audra watched as Heath slowly left the living room and made his way up the grand staircase. Looking over at her mother she saw the same sad look on her face as she too watched Heath mount the stairs.

Jarrod having watched and heard everything that was said between Heath and Audra walked over to his little sister and placed his hand on her shoulder. "You tried sis, that's all we can do."

Standing up and hugging her brother, Audra released the tears she'd been holding back. "Oh Jarrod, he's still so distant. Why won't he come back to us?" She sobbed quietly as her oldest brother held her close.

"We have to give him time little sister. He's gone through an awful lot lately and right now he needs our support and understanding. Remember, he's not used to having a family around to help him with his problems." Replied Jarrod as he released Audra.

"I know Jarrod, it's just I miss him so much. He's here but he's not really here with us." Replied Audra as she heard the front door open and watched as Nick walked in. She quickly wiped her cheeks in an effort to hide her tears but they hadn't gone unnoticed.

"What's wrong Audra?" Asked Nick as he strode into the living room his spurs jingling.

"Sorry Nick you'd have to be a girl to understand," said Audra as she tried to cover up the real reason for her tears.

"Oh," replied Nick as he fumbled uncharacteristically with his hat. Looking around the room he immediately noticed Heath was missing. "Where's Heath?" He questioned as he poured himself a drink.

"He's gone up to bed," replied Jarrod as he accepted a glass of brandy from Nick.

"What? This early?" Questioned Nick as he looked over at the grandfather clock.

"Seems he got tired of Audra beating him at checkers," chuckled Jarrod trying to ease the building tension in the room.

Hearing his brothers' nervous chuckle Nick had a pretty good idea why Audra had tears in her eyes when he first entered the room; and none of it had to do with beating Heath at checkers.

"Nick, where you going?" Asked Audra as Nick put down his drink and walked towards the stairs.

"To speak with Heath. I have some ranch business I need to discuss with him." Nick lied as he made his way up the stairs. Seeing light shine out from beneath Heath's door, Nick knocked and awaited Heath's invitation to enter. Instead of receiving that invitation Nick watched as the light coming from under Heath's door went out. Twisting the brass door handle Nick barged on into Heath's room, "what'd ya mean turning out the light! I know you heard me knock!" Shouted Nick as he walked up next to Heath who was sitting on his bed.

"Come on in Nick, " replied Heath as he slowly stood up and faced his brother in the darkened room.

"What's gotten into you Heath?" Questioned Nick as he stood nose to nose with Heath. "You know you left Audra downstairs crying. and mother well she's beside her self with worry." Stated Nick as he tried to crack through Heath's shell.

"I never asked no one to worry about me," Heath answered slowly as he tried to contain his emotions.

"Never asked.... Damit Heath! That's what families do! They worry and take care of one another." Exclaimed Nick as he watched Heath's expressionless face stare back coldly at him. "Oh but I forgot, you never had a family did ya boy." Added Nick hoping to elicit some type of response from Heath. "Didn't that Mama of yours teach you anything, boy?" The words hurt his own heart as he spoke them but he had to find some way to reach Heath. Heath clenched his left fist and teeth before answering Nick, "you've got no right bad mouthin my mother."

"Then what gives you the right to hurt mine!" Stated Nick as he watched Heath's face turn from one of anger to shock.

"I never meant too..." he started before Nick cut him off.

"Oh so you never meant to alienate the one person in this house who accepted you with out question? Who loves you like one of her own children? Oh but that's right you never meant to hurt her." Stated Nick as he folded his arms across his chest.

Looking away from Nick, Heath had to get away, it was all too much. He didn't deserve their love, he didn't deserve their understanding or their sympathy. He didn't want to hurt them any more.

"Where do you think yer goin boy, were not done here!" Exclaimed Nick as he reached out and grabbed Heath's left arm.

Quickly pulling his arm out of Nicks grasp, Heath continued on towards the door. Cutting Heath off in front of the door Nick confronted him again. "I said were not done!" He stated loudly as he grabbed Heath by his upper arms being mindful of his broken collarbone.

"Let me go Nick," replied Heath in a tired voice that lacked emotion..

Nick looked into his brother's eye and saw defeat. He never figured Heath for a quitter and the sight rattled him. "No Heath I won't. It took me 24 years to find you and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some backwoods sheriff take you away from me! What is it Heath? What is it you're not telling me?" Nick practically begged.

Seeing the hurt in his brothers eyes Heath felt even worse. "I'm not worth it Nick... just let me go."

"The only place you're going little brother is right out there on the range with me running this ranch! Right where you belong!" Replied Nick as he continued to hold Heath out in front of him.

"I'd like to Nick," stated Heath as he stood passively in front of Nick. "But I can't."

"That's nonsense Heath, I know I've been hard on you since you came but I was wrong. Dead wrong. I... I need you Heath." Said Nick as he tightened his grasp on his brothers' arms slightly.

Looking up into his brothers hazel eyes, Heath knew Nick meant every word. Believing himself not worthy of his brothers' love he looked away. "It's you who's wrong Nick, you don't need me. You should have let me rot back in that town."

"That's crazy! You didn't deserve the type of treatment you received Heath." Stated Nick as he let go of Heath's arms.

"Neither did she," replied Heath quietly as he looked up to Nick with a heavy heart before walking over towards the window.

Watching his brother slowly walk towards the window, Nick began to understand Heath's pain. Walking over to him, Nick put his arm on Heath's shoulder. "Your right Heath, Mary didn't deserve it either, she didn't deserve to die."

Heath sighed as his shoulders slumped forward, "I couldn't stop him." He said quietly as he stared out the window. The awful images of Mary sobbing as Johnnie lay atop her came roaring back.

"Heath you were locked up when Mary died, of course you couldn't stop it." Stated Nick as he turned Heath around. "Neither could Jarrod or I, it just all happened so fast."

"They were right next to me and I couldn't stop him," whispered Heath as he stared straight past Nick.

"Heath what are you talking about? Mary died in the alley, next to the saloon. You were still in the jail." Exclaimed Nick as he once again grabbed his brother's arms. The far away look in Heath's eye scared him.

"He wouldn't stop," whispered Heath as he saw the image played over and over again in his mind.

Nick watched as a single tear slowly trekked its way down Heath's cheek. Heath remained almost motionless as he stared ahead at only something only he could see.

Grabbing Heath's face and turning it towards him Nick tried to get through, "stop what Heath? Talk to me, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"It's all my fault Nick, he did it just to get to me." Stated Heath as he started to drift away from Nick.

"Did what, Heath?" Exclaimed Nick as he shook Heath by his arms. He watched as Heath leaned forward slightly gripping his right arm and moaned. Nick didn't like causing his brother pain but he had to find away inside, he had to find out what it was Heath was keeping from them.

"Nick you're hurting him!" Shouted Audra as she raced across the room and tried to pull Nick away from Heath. She'd been listening by the door and peeked inside just as Nick shook Heath.

"Audra let go!" Replied Nick as he grabbed her by the wrist and escorted her towards the door. "I'm not going to hurt him, I promise. I need to get through to him, trust me Audra." Said Nick as he escorted her out the door. "Look at him, something's eating him up inside and I need to find out what it is before it kills him." Added Nick as he pointed back in the room at Heath.

Audra stared at the shell Heath had become and knew Nick was right. "Please bring him back Nick," she said as she hugged him gently.

"I will honey, I promise," replied Nick as he kissed the top of her head. Closing the door to Heath's room he found his brother sitting on the floor by his window surrounded in moonlight. He sat Indian style with his hands in his lap, shoulders slumped forward and his head down. Sitting down along side him, Nick noticed Heath had his eye closed. The moonlight made his face appear even paler than it was or was it really that pale? Nick was no longer sure. What he did know for sure was that the little brother he'd fought so hard against just a few short weeks ago was slowly but surely slipping away. "Heath, let me help."

"I'm just so tired Nick," replied Heath just above a whisper as he remained motionless.

"Let me take some of the pain for you, that's what brothers do." Stated Nick as he put his arm across Heath's shoulders.

Heath stiffened at Nick's touch but then relaxed and let himself fall into his brothers embrace. "I'm the reason she's dead," Whispered Heath as Nick strengthened his hold.

"Crocker's the reason she's dead Heath, not you." Replied Nick surprised at Heath's remark.

"If I hadn't ridden into that town she'd still be alive," stated Heath as he stared at the floor.

"Maybe, maybe not Heath. Crocker was a mad man you witnessed that first hand. You know what he did to the family you found, to you for God's sake. Who's to say Mary's family wasn't going to be next. It's not your fault Heath." Stated Nick as he struggled to break through.

"You don't understand," Heath said quietly as he shook his head.

"Then make me understand Heath, what is it you can't tell me?" Asked Nick as he picked up his brothers head and looked him in the eye. "Please Heath, tell me."

The pleading tone in Nick's voice put him over the edge. The big brother he'd always longed to have was sitting right in front of him pouring his heart out. It all came out at once in one big emotional expenditure, "he raped her, right in front of me and I couldn't stop him Nick. My God I wanted to rip his heart out but I couldn't get to him."

Hearing Heath reveal the awful truth he'd held inside for so long warmed Nick's heart. "Heath you were behind bars, there's nothing you could have done. I'm sure Mary knew that." He said trying to make his brother understand.

"I can't get her screams out of my head Nick." Said Heath quietly as he looked up into Nick's hazel eyes.

"You can't let him win Heath, not now, not from the grave." Replied Nick as he saw the lost lonely look in Heath's eye. "He's gone and without knowing it you did stop him, he can't hurt anyone ever again."

"It still won't bring her back," he replied just barely audible.

"No Heath it won't. But you helped me to understand something tonight, something Mary said." Stated Nick hoping to perk up Heath's interest.

Picking up his head, Heath looked at the man sitting next to him on the floor and waited.

Nick tried to wait Heath out but couldn't, "after Mary was shot she mentioned she saw angels in the sky. What I didn't understand until now was what she said after that. She said "I didn't think they'd come for me," right before she died."

Heath turned his head and looked out the window and tried to remind himself to breath. As he looked up at the moon he could picture Mary's blue eyes smiling back at him. He remembered the dream, the beautiful waterfall; the snow capped mountains, the soft green grass, and Mary. She'd been so happy so alive, he remembered her sweet smell and the way her hair flowed behind her like water as she walked along with him. Her eyes sparkled as they talked and her laughter filled his heart with joy. He remembered what she said to him, when he asked her about the special place they were in. She'd said it was her home now or at least part of it and it was everything she had ever dreamed it would be. Was it just a dream or was there more to it?

Nick kept his hand across Heath's back as he sat in the moonlight with his brother. Heath's breathing had evened out some but Nick was still concerned, he wasn't sure anything he'd said to Heath was making a difference. That was until his brother began talking.

"I remember her Nick," stated Heath as he turned and looked at his brother. "She was so happy, so.... free." He added quietly as the memory of Mary and the way she danced through the trees in her lavender dress spun around in the back of his head. "I wanted to stay Nick, but she told me I couldn't... that I had to go home to my brothers." Said Heath as the memory of Mary's hands on his own made his tingle again. He remembered why he wanted to stay, "I'm sorry Nick, if I would a known what pain comin here was gonna cause you all, I never would a come."

Nick heard the sincerity in Heath's voice and had to swallow a lump in his throat. "You know in the past few months Heath, I've heard you come up with some pretty ridiculous stuff, but this...this takes the cake." Nick stated as he rose up to his feet. "I knew they hit that hard head of yours but I guess I didn't know how hard until now."

Heath watched as Nick stood up and paced back and forth before finally stopping in front of him and planting his hands on his hips. "You're a Barkley boy, and this is where you belong! Now I won't hear otherwise so you best quit talkin foolish!" Stated Nick with authority. "I was wrong takin my anger out on you, it wasn't fair."

Slowly rising to his feet with some help from Nick, Heath looked his brother in the eye. "I never meant for you to question what type of a man your.... our father was Nick."

" But I don't Heath, I know what type of a man Tom Barkley was. The only things I question are the choices he made. Like the one that caused me to miss the first twenty-four years of my little brothers life." Replied Nick as he smiled and placed a hand on Heath's shoulder.

Heath had to smile, all he ever wanted was Nick's approval. A warm feeling spread through his heart, one he hadn't felt in a long time. One he hoped never to loose. He still had reservations and decided to voice them, "I'm not sure I can be a constant reminder of yo... our fathers betrayal to your ma Nick."

Nick had seen the sparkle in Heath's eye just moments ago now turn back to a dull ember. The guilt Heath must feel to say such things overwhelmed Nick. He had to set his brother right, "Heath that's not what mother sees when she looks at you." Began Nick as he walked with Heath over to his bed and sat down beside him. "I know you remind her a lot of father, you remind all of us of him. You have his laugh and eyes. I couldn't see it at first like mother did because I didn't want to Heath. But I do now." Said Nick with conviction. "If only you could've see how worried mother was when you didn't come home. She thinks of you as one of her own Heath."

Heath looked away from Nick and out the window once again. His body was exhausted and his brain just didn't want to process what Nick was trying to explain to him. How could she think of him as one of her own? Especially with what his being represented. Closing his eye he tried to quiet his thoughts.

Feeling Heath sway slightly Nick coaxed him into lying down. Watching as his brother ease his tired form down into the bed Nick drew up the covers. "We'll talk more in the morning Heath, you've got a ranch to help me run boy." Nick said quietly before turning towards the door.

Nick almost missed Heath's quiet heart felt response. The "thanks Nick" his younger brother uttered quietly made his heart beat a little faster in his chest. Closing the door to Heath's room, Nick walked into his own and knelt down in front of his window and looked up at the moon. "I don't understand what happened between you and Heath's ma Father, and I probably never will. But I promise you Heath'll take his rightful place as part of this family and one of your sons. I'll see to it."

* * * * * * * * * *

The scent of fresh hay filled his nostrils as he attempted to clean out the barn with only one good arm. Awkward as it may have been Heath was enjoying the chance to get outside. The smells surrounding him in the barn were an added bonus as he went about his work. He'd had about all the pampering he could take in the weeks since his return to the ranch. Once doctor Merer gave him the OK for light physical labor Heath made a beeline for the barn.

Walking into the barn Nick noticed his little brother raking out one of the far stalls. Resting his arms on the stall next to him, Nick smiled. "You know mothered have your hide if she knew what you were doin out here."

Heath smiled and kept up with his work as beads of sweat slowly ran down the sides of his face. It felt good to be outside doing an honest days work. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, and one he thought he might never again. Muscles that lay dormant while he healed were once again awoken from their slumber.

"You know Heath, yer just about the skinniest one-handed cowboy I think I've ever laid eyes on." Laughed Nick as he poked fun at his younger brother. Deep down inside he was relieved to see Heath out and about. The color had finally returned to his face along with the light in his eyes.

"Don't you have something you could be doin?" Questioned Heath as turned around with the rake in his hand and faced Nick almost playfully.

The playful quality in Heath's eyes matched that of his father and Nick stood staring speechless at him.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day," said Heath as he turned around and went back to his raking shaking his head and smiling.

Snapping out of his stupor, Nick shot back. " Never thought you'd see what boy?"

Slowly turning around to face his brother, Heath rested his left arm across the top of his rake. "Never thought I'd see the day when the mighty Nick Barkley was speechless." Snickered Heath as he threw Nick a lopsided grin.

Stepping around the stall Nick stood face to face with Heath. "If only you weren't injured boy," Nick threatened with his fist before breaking into a smile and slapping Heath's good shoulder.

The smiles both brothers wore were genuine; they'd each finally found the missing piece they'd always known was out there. The missing piece that finally made them whole.

"How about a nice cold glass of Silas's lemonade? From the looks of you, I'd say you could use one." Exclaimed Nick as he flecked some of the sweat of Heath's brow with his glove.

"Sounds good Nick," replied Heath as he leaned the rake against the stalls wall and walked towards the door with his brother.

Victoria watched as Nick and Heath exited the barn. They looked so natural together, as though they'd always known one another. It was heart warming to see the smiles on their faces and to watch them as they talked about only something they were privy too. She was also glad to see the changes in Heath; he was once again starting to enjoy life.

Nick had explained to her the awful truth about what happened while Heath had been held captive. She immediately knew why the gentle man had been so withdrawn. Her heart went out to him as she realized the real reason for his continued suffering. It had taken Nick to break through Heath's protective shell and claim him back, and for that she would be forever grateful.

Walking back to the kitchen doorway she watched as the young men came strolling through the back door and headed straight for the icebox. She laughed quietly as Nick forced Heath to sit as he grabbed two glasses and the pitcher of lemonade. She watched the expression of adoration on Heath's face as he watched Nick get their drinks ready. Once they were seated and consuming their lemonade she decided to make her presence known.

"Good afternoon boys," she stated gracefully as she flowed into the room. Leaning down she placed a kiss on first Nick's head and then Heath's.

"Afternoon Mother," exclaimed Nick as he downed the rest of his lemonade in one gulp.

"Afternoon," replied Heath rather shyly as he wiped the sweat off his brow with his shirtsleeve.

"Are you feeling all right Heath?" Questioned Victoria as noticed how hot and sweaty he looked.

"Fine ma'am just a little thirsty is all," replied Heath with a small smile as he tipped his glass to Nick for a refill.

The word "ma'am" caused her to flinch slightly. She'd been meaning to talk with him about that but just hadn't found the right time to bring it up.

Nick saw the way his mother's smile dipped slightly at Heath's response. He knew the way Heath referred to her bothered her but he didn't feel it was his place to change things. If he knew his mother well enough and he did, he knew she wouldn't let it go on for much longer.

Trying not to let his reply get to her Victoria reached out to touch is forehead, "well you certainly do looked flushed Heath."

Moving his head backwards slightly before letting her touch him, his cheeks grew even redder with embarrassment. "Really I'm fine," he said quietly as he glanced at Nick for help.

"The boys fine mother," stated Nick enthusiastically as he jumped up and grabbed Heath's good arm. "He was just out working in the hot barn. I'll take him out with me to check on the men, you know give him a chance to cool off a little." Added Nick with a smile as he kissed Victoria's cheek.

"All right Nick, but you make sure he doesn't over do it." Replied Victoria. "And remember what Doctor Merer said Heath, only light labor and only for half a day at that." She stated as she reached out and held his hand.

"I'll remember," stated Heath as he squeezed her hand and threw her a lopsided grin.

Watching the boys walk out through the back door Victoria wondered when it was she had grown to love Heath as much as her own children. She wanted to tell him but how could she without possibly pushing him further away.

* * * * * * * * * *

The nights breeze gently caressed his face as he sat in the garden and looked out over the darkened landscape. He let his body relax as the winds soft fingers gently ran over him and tried to lull him to sleep. As he looked up into the starry sky overhead he was grateful for the time he finally had alone. He knew his new family meant well but their constant worrying and fretting over him was finally beginning to take its toll. So this evening after dinner when he was alone with Silas for a moment he asked his new friend for a favor.

As the family gathered in the study after dinner, Heath challenged Audra to a game of checkers. They were on their third game when Silas came in to the study looking for Heath.

"Mr. Heath, I was wonderin if I might trouble you for a moment." Stated Silas as he stood in the open doorway.

"Audra will you excuse me for a minute," asked Heath politely as he rose to his feet.

All eyes turned and watched as Heath closed the door behind him as he left the room with Silas.

Putting down his pool cue, Nick started to follow in his brother's footsteps. "Nicholas, leave him be." Stated Victoria calmly as she set down her sewing.

"But he's still only got one arm and..." began Nick before Victoria ended his sentence.

"He doesn't need you following his every move," said Victoria as she rose and walked over to her middle child. "He needs some time to do things by himself Nick."

"I just wanted to make sure Silas doesn't have him doing something he shouldn't." Answered Nick as he placed an arm around his mother.

"Nicholas, you know Silas better than that. He adores Heath." Replied Victoria as she placed her hand on his arm.

"Yeah he does," laughed Nick as he thought about all the countless hours Silas spent with Heath while he was stuck in bed recovering.

"He'll be fine Nick." Assured Victoria as she hugged her son.

Nick went back to his pool game as Victoria and Audra worked on Audra's new dress together. Victoria excused herself about fifteen minutes later and strolled in to the kitchen looking for Silas.

"What can I get you Mrs. Barkley?" Asked Silas as he stood over the sink cleaning up the last of the dishes.

"Nothing Silas I'm fine," stated Victoria as she stood next to her friend. "But you can tell me where Heath went," she added as she looked him in the eye.

"I tolls him it wouldn't work, I knew you'd sees right through it." Stated Silas as he stood with the dishtowel in his hand avoiding Victoria's eyes.

"It's all right Silas, I just need to talk with him. There are a few things I need to get straightened out." Said Victoria as she smiled at Silas.

"I believe I saw him head over to the garden," replied Silas as he looked up at her.

"Thank you Silas," said Victoria as she turned and headed for the back door.

"Mrs. Barkley?" Stated Silas as he watched Victoria turn back and face him. "He's a good boy, that boy." He added as he watched a smile spread across Victoria's face.

"That he is Silas," she replied before heading out the door. The gentle breeze ruffled her skirt as she walked around the side of the house in search of Heath. As she came up to the edge of the garden she saw him, he was sitting on one of the stone benches staring up at the night sky. His resemblance to his father caused her heart to skip a beat; it was something about the way the moon reflected off his face that reminded her of Tom. Quietly she walked up next to him and sat down.

"I was wonder in when you'd find me," said Heath as he looked over at Victoria and smiled shyly. "There's not much around here that you don't know about is there?" He asked teasingly.

"Oh not much," laughed Victoria as she reached for his hand. "But there are some," she added looking into his eyes.

The warmth of her hand in his felt comforting, he could remember his own mother holding his hand in much the same way. The thought made him turn his head and look off into the distance once again as he remember her gentle touch.

"Heath, would you tell me about your mother?" Victoria questioned as she watched Heath's surprised look.

"There's really not much to tell," he said quietly.

"Oh I think your wrong there Heath," began Victoria as she turned slightly to face him better. "From what I can tell she was a very loving woman. She raised a child all by herself with nothing more than love, hard work, and sheer determination."

Heath thought for a moment before speaking, "she always had a certain confidence about her. Even when times were at their worst she wouldn't ever let them get her down. She always saw the brighter side to every story." He reflected as he thought about his mother.

"She sounds like a lovely woman Heath, I wish I could have known her." Stated Victoria as she gently squeezed his hand. "I'd like to be able to tell her what a wonderful son she raised."

Looking into her eyes Heath knew she meant every word. Not knowing what to say he looked away out into the darkness.

"I'm sorry Heath, I didn't mean to stir up any painful memories." Said Victoria as she tried to read his emotions.

"It's not?." Began Heath, as he feared he must have hurt Victoria's feeling by looking away.

"What is it Heath? Please I only want to help." She replied tenderly as she watched him pull on the fabric of his sling with his left hand.

He sat still for a few more minutes before continuing, "I just don't want to be a constant reminder to you of what... of what my mother and your husband did."

There he'd said it, a smile lighted the corners of her mouth as she stood up in front of him. She'd waited months for the truth she knew lay buried in her quiet new son to come out. Now she could finally help him with the last stage of his healing process.

"Heath Barkley, is that what you think you mean to me?" She questioned as she tilted his head up to meet her gaze. "I can assure you it isn't. You had nothing to do with what happened between your mother and father." She stated as she watched him absorb her words. "What I see when I look at you is someone I'd be proud to call my son. That is if you'll let me Heath."

Heath stood up and drew Victoria into an embrace with his left arm and held her close. As his chin rested on her forehead he laughed gently remembering something his mama always used to say.

"May I ask what so funny?" Questioned Victoria as she smiled up at him.

"Oh it's just a little something my mama used to say, I guess I never believed it till now." He answered smiling.

"Will you share it with me?" Victoria asked as she placed her arm round his waist.

"I always used to ask her where my blonde hair came from, you see she had brown hair. That's when she'd tell me that I had blonde hair because God's light was shinning down on me. I guess I never really believed her until now." He replied as he looked up at the stars. "I mean how many men can say they were loved by two separate mothers in one lifetime." He added looking down at her and smiling.

Five sets of eyes all watched happily as Victoria and Heath sat in the garden talking. "We better get back inside before they catch us," whispered Jarrod as he took Audra's hand. Silas and Eugene took one last approving look before they followed Jarrod and Audra back inside the kitchen.

Nick remained crouched behind a rose bush as he happily watched the smiles on both his mother and Heath's face. "It's about time brother, it's about time."

* * * * * * * * * *

One Year Later…

"Ya got no reason to go back there!" Shouted Nick as he stormed through the front door of the house followed closely by Heath.

"I got my reasons," Heath said calmly as he took off his hat and brushed some of the dirt off his shirt.

"Well I for one would like to hear em'!" Shouted Nick as he threw his hat down on the table and faced his brother.

"They're my reasons Nick and they'll stay that way," replied Heath as he looked at his brother sternly.

"Nick why all the shouting," questioned Victoria as she made her way down the grand staircase.

"Ask your son!" Shouted Nick as he pointed at Heath.

Looking from Nick to Heath, Victoria noticed the sullen look on her new sons face. Walking up to him she put her hand on his arm, "what is it Heath?"

"Nothing mother," replied Heath as he smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

"Nothing! Oh it's far from nothing!" Shouted Nick as he walked forward and poked Heath in the chest.

"Nick that's enough," stated Victoria exasperated. "Now what's going on between you two?"

Both brothers stood and stared at one another as Victoria looked on. Just as she was about to give up on them and their stubbornness, Heath turned to her.

"Mother, how would you like to take a little trip with me." He asked innocently.

"Oh no you don't!" Shouted Nick as he stepped up closer to Heath. "You're not dragging anyone else along with you except me!"

Cocking his head to the side slightly and raising his eyebrow, Heath thought for a moment. "All right Nick, we leave tomorrow at sun up." He stated before turning towards Victoria and winking. "Sorry mother seems I already have a traveling companion." Turning up the stairs, "guess I'll go get cleaned up for dinner. First dibs on the tub big brother." He stated as he turned his back on Nick and Victoria.

Victoria smiled as she watched Heath walk up the stairs. Once again he'd managed to maneuver Nick just where he wanted him. The depths at which Heath knew his brother warmed her heart. She had a pretty good idea what the fight had been about. It had been almost a year now since Mary's death, she knew with Heath's gentle nature he would one day go back and pay his respects to the woman who'd scarified so much for him. It scared her a little to think of him going back to that small town, he almost hadn't made it out the first time.

"How does he do that?" Questioned Nick as he too watched Heath climb the stairs.

"Do what dear?" Asked Victoria as she turned to face her son.

Turning to look at his mother, Nick replied. "Change everything around so he always comes out on top." He said smiling as he pulled her into an embrace.

"Keep an eye on him Nick, it's going to be rough on him." Stated Victoria a she returned her sons hug.

"Don't worry mother, I will." Stated Nick, and he meant every word of it.

* * * * * * * * * *

The air was warm and the sun high in the sky as the brothers rode across the meadow. There had been an easy flow of banter back and fourth between the brothers most of the trip but now as they drew closer to the small town, Nick was having a hard time getting anything out of Heath.

As Heath watched the small town appear in the distance an involuntary shiver passed through his body. His hand gripped the reins tighter and his legs hugged his mount tighter as well. Deep down he knew the sheriff and his men were gone but it was hard to wipe out the pain and suffering they'd caused from his mind.

Nick sat atop Coco and watched the sweat break out on his brother's face. He didn't like the idea of coming back here one bit and the closer they got to the town the more uneasy he became. He couldn't understand why Heath wanted to put himself through this especially now when everything was going so well for him. His injuries had finally healed and he had regained his weight and his strength. He was once again back out working on the ranch he so truly loved.

He wondered as he rode along if he could face Mary's father; the man who'd nursed him back to health while at the same time burying his own daughter. He still in a way felt responsible for Mary's death. He supposed he always would no matter how many times his family reassured him that he wasn't. As he drew nearer to the town he was surprised to see a group of recently built homes where once abandoned shacks used to stand. As they rounded the corner and entered the main street both brothers stopped their horses and looked around. Heath remembered how drab and dreary everything appeared the first time he rode into town, this time it seemed like an entirely different place.

Main Street had grown in both size and activity, where once blackened windows faced the street, curtains freely fluttered through open windows with the breeze. Where once people had been afraid to venture, people now stood and conversed freely. Old men once again sat in rockers in front of the barbershop playing checkers; the hardware store had stacks and stacks of new material lining its sidewalk and porch. Fresh produce could be seen in front of the grocery as people of all ages milled about happily.

Looking up Heath noticed the sign which now hung across main street, it read: Welcome to Chatman. His heart skipped a beat as he remembered Mary's last name, Chatman, her name had been Mary Chatman. Urging his mount on under the sign he slowly watched and gathered in all the sites and sounds as he rode through town, as he turned out of town the cemetery finally came into view. It wasn't really much to look at, a small plot of land surrounded by an iron fence, and decorated with a few sparsely placed tombstones.

As he pulled up in front of the main gate he slowly slid off the side of his horse and let the reins fall to the ground. Not really even feeling his body move he walked into the cemetery and looked around for Mary's grave.

Traveling behind his brother Nick watched as Heath slowly walked into the cemetery. Gathering up the reins Heath had dropped Nick secured both their mounts to the fence. Knowing that his brother needed this time alone, Nick stayed back with the horses and waited.

Her tombstone was easy to find. It was the grandest one in the small cemetery. The marker was carved out of marble in the shape of the Virgin Mary who cradled her infant son in her arms. The look of love and happiness on her face caused his knees to buckle and he knelt down before it and bowed his head. Visions of Mary began flooding his conscious thoughts as he stared at the flowers surrounding her grave.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come," he said just above a whisper. "I wasn't sure at first if I could." Normally able to control his emotions, Heath felt himself spiral downwards. The grief he had suppressed for so many months came rushing to the surface and took control.

"It's my fault you're here," he whispered as tears silently fell down his face and into the grass. "He used me...he used us."

A comforting gentle breeze slowly wrapped itself around him as he knelt in front of Mary's grave and wept. He could feel the breeze ruffle his hair and caress his face and chest. For a moment he could swear the breeze had substance and looked up as he felt it caress his cheek like a kiss. That's when he noticed the Virgin Mary's eyes; they were as blue as the deepest depths of the ocean. The type of blue that could swallow a man whole. Heath remembered those eyes, he remembered the lavender dress and snow capped mountains. He remembered how free and happy Mary had been and how the light in her eyes showed her true inner beauty.

As if on cue the breeze once again caressed his body as the blueness faded from the statues eyes. The knowledge that Mary was still with him on some level lifted his spirits. Standing up he looked up in to the blue-sky overhead and said, "Mary, thank you for showing me that if we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater." The breeze ruffled his hair and shirt before rushing away across the open meadow.

He wasn't sure how long he stood and stared at Mary's grave before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking to his left he saw the concerned face of his older brother. "It's all right Nick," He said quietly as he turned away from Mary's grave. Looking up as he walked back to his horse with Nick, Heath stopped dead in his tracks. There standing just beyond the cemetery was just about everyone in the town. "When... when did they all get here?" He asked Nick quietly as he scanned the smiling faces in the crowd.

"About ten minutes ago little brother," replied Nick as he slapped Heath on the back and smiled.

As he began walking towards the crowd with his brother he had to remind himself to breath, he'd never been one for big crowds and this was certainly a big crowd. But what he couldn't figure out was why they were here?

"Heath! It does good ta see ya, real good son." Exclaimed Hiram Brown as he walked forward from the crowd to greet Heath with his hand extended.

The exuberance in Hiram's voice made Heath smile shyly, shaking Hiram's hand, Heath replied, "it's good to see you too Hiram."

"We've been waitin a long time for you to come Heath," replied Hiram as he continued to shake Heath's hand.

"You remember my brother Nick," stated Heath as he tried to draw the attention away from himself.

"Sure, sure I do!" Said Hiram in the same exuberant voice as before. Finally releasing Heath's hand, Hiram shook Nick's with just as much force and excitement.

"Welcome Heath," stated Doc Chatman as he walked up to him. "You're looking well." He added noticing the scars that were slowly starting to fade on his face.

"Thanks Doc," replied Heath, as he looked down at his boots unable to look the doctor in the eye.

"Heath, I'm sure Mary would appreciate the fact that you came to pay your respects." Stated the Doctor as he placed a hand on Heath's shoulder.

"It's my fault she's here," he said quietly while keeping his eyes fixed towards the ground.

"You're wrong Heath, dead wrong. The only one to blame for all of this is us." He stated as he motioned towards the crowd gathered behind him. "We're the ones who commissioned Crocker, we're the ones who let him and his men get away with what they did. Not you son." Heath lifted up his head and looked out over the crowd. "You were only trying to help us, as was my daughter." Added the doctor as he squeezed Heath's shoulder.

"But I didn't really do anything," stated Heath as he looked up at the doctor.

"You tried to Heath, and that's more than any of us did." He stated casting his eyes downward.

"Heath, we all came out here cuss we wanted to thank ya for what ya tried to do. Not many people would a gone out a there way for us but you did without hesitation. We're indebted to ya." Interjected Hiram as he walked up next to Heath.


Heath looked at all the smiling faces and didn't know what to say. Feeling a hand on his shoulder Heath looked over at Nick, his brother was all smiles. "For those folks who don't know my brother he's a might shy," stated Nick as he addressed the crowd. "I guess you can tell by his red cheeks he gets embarrassed easy too." Nick added as the crowd chuckled and Heath grew even redder.

Slowly stepping forward Heath held his hat in his hands as he began to speak. "It's not me you should be indebted to," started Heath quietly. "Mary Chatman is the real hero, she gave up her life for this town."

"It's both of you we're indebted to Heath, without both of you we wouldn't be here today." Stated Doc Chatman. "Without each of your efforts we'd still all be prisoners or dead."

"We decided to name the town after Mary," exclaimed Floyd Steven as he walked to the front of the group wearing his barber's apron. "We felt it was the least we could do."

Heath looked up at Doc Chatman and saw the reassuring smile on his face. "Now nobody will ever forget what she did for us," stated the doctor as he smiled at Heath.

"We're really here to apologize to ya Heath. We're sorry we lead ya willingly into Crocker's hands and then waited until he almost beat ya ta death before we helped. We're a might ashamed of the way we handled things." Stated Hiram.

Heath nodded and looked out over the crowd who now hung their heads slightly acknowledging Hiram's words.

"Well I for one could use a drink," exclaimed Nick as he broke the silence that had fallen over them. "Come on little brother what'd ya say you buy these fine folks a drink." He added slapping Heath on the back and directing him towards town.

"Sounds like a good idea, but we'll do the buyin." Stated Hiram as he walked with the brothers towards town. The town's folk all milled around and thanked both Heath and Nick on their way to the saloon. The brothers enjoyed themselves at the saloon and thanked everyone for the endless supply of alcohol they provided. But as quickly as their visit had begun it was time to start their journey back.

"You make sure and stop by here anytime Heath," stated Hiram as he shook his hand. "You too Nick," he added.

"We will Hiram," said Heath with a smile as he mounted his horse.

With a last wave the brothers were off and heading down Main Street, pulling up in front of the doctors office Heath looked over at Nick. "I need a minute Nick," he said as he jumped down and walked up the steps to the office door. Knocking Heath waited patiently.

"Heath, what can I do for you?" Answered Doc Chatman a little surprised to see Heath standing at his door. They had said their goodbyes over an hour ago in the saloon when he was called away to check on a sick patient.

"There's something I need to tell you, I'm just not sure how to go about it." Stated Heath as he put his hands in his pockets.

"The best way is just to come out with it son," replied the doctor with a smile.

Going over it again and again in his mind he finally just decided to follow the doctors idea. "I'm not sure how I know this or why, but I know Mary's happy now." He said looking up at the doctor. "She's finally free. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you." Stated Heath as he felt a huge burden lift off his chest.

"Thank you Heath, you don't know what that means to me." Stated the doctor as he reached out and embraced Heath. "Go and live a good life Heath, be proud of the man you are, you have every right to be." Added the doctor as he let go of Heath.

"I will doc," replied Heath as he watched the doctor wipe the tears off his cheeks. Walking back down the steps he mounted his horse in one swift move and looked back over his shoulder at the doctor. Waving a final goodbye he turned his horse and headed out of town.

Later that night as the brothers sat around their campfire, Nick asked Heath what he'd said to the doctor.

"I gave him a message from Mary," he replied quietly before taking a sip of his coffee.

"A what? But how?" stammered Nick as he looked over at Heath and noted his calm demeanor. "What did you tell him?"

"Sorry big brother but like I said, it was a message from Mary to her father." He stated as he looked up into the starry sky.

"I'll bet," huffed Nick a little offended at being left out. As Nick looked over at his brother he marveled at the peaceful look on Heath's face. He'd never seen him look so comfortable, so relaxed and at peace. "Heath?"

"Yeah Nick," replied Heath as he looked over at him.

"She really did send him a message didn't she," questioned Nick as he watched his brother grace him with a half smile.

"Yup, she really did Nick."

"Did it help? Comin here I mean?" Questioned Nick as he watched the fire dance across Heath's features.

Pondering over Nick's question, Heath thought deep and hard. Realizing he himself finally felt free he chuckled, "yeah Nick I think it did."

"Good," stated Nick as he unrolled his bedroll. "Cause there's a lotta work waiting back at the ranch for us." He added sternly while trying his best to hold in his true feelings.

"Back at the ranch, home," thought Heath as he too unrolled his bedroll. Crawling inside and settling down he rolled over to face Nick. "Speakin of the ranch Nick I got a few ideas for some changes when we get back." He stated before rolling back over.

"Changes? What are you talkin about Heath?" Questioned Nick as he sat straight up. "Talk to me Heath!" Shouted Nick as he threw a rock at Heath's turned back.

Unable to control his laughter Heath rolled over and doubled over laughing.

"Oh you just wait boy!" Shouted Nick as he lay back down in a huff. Staring up at the starry sky Nick thought about all they had been through in the last year. Sending up a silent prayer he thanked God for the gift of his brother and the second chance he was given with him. Looking over at Heath, Nick was pleased to see his brother sleeping peacefully. "I promise Lord, I'll cherish him forever."

The End