by Sharon
Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program
"Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and
have been used without permission. No copyright
infringement is intended by the author.
The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.
**
This portion of the story includes some mild adult content that may not be
appropriate for all readers. If you
would prefer to read the PG-13 version of this section of "The Girl Next
Door", please click the following link: **
https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/theholdingpen/sharon/The_Girl_Next_Door_39-42E.htm
Amy awoke the next morning to
the mouth-watering smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing. She lifted her
head and saw the sun streaming in through the window, a marked contrast to last
night’s storm. As she sat up she saw her husband sitting quietly at the table,
one leg up on a chair, cleaning his gun. He suddenly looked in her direction
and saw that she was awake.
“Mornin’, darlin’” he said softly.
“Morning,” Amy answered, nodding tentatively at him. “What time is it?”
“Almost ten o’clock,” he answered, smiling slightly. At her shocked expression,
he added, “You needed that sleep, sweetheart. I figured you’d be gettin’ up
soon, though, so I got breakfast ready. How did
you sleep?” he asked.
She yawned. “I haven’t slept that well since…in the longest time,” she said.
“Good,” he answered tenderly. “You hungry?” he asked, and was heartened by her
response.
“Starved,” she said, surprised to find that she actually was.
Heath finally broke the silence that followed. “Uh, look, I’ll go outside so
you can wash up and then we’ll eat, all right?”
Amy nodded, and as he left, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and
took a deep breath. Realizing that Heath was waiting for her, she got up and
hurriedly washed and dressed.
They spent the morning quietly in the cabin until Amy tentatively suggested
that they go for a walk outside. Heath couldn’t keep the smile off his face as
he nodded, and they stepped out into the bright day. The ground was still wet
from last night’s storm, but it was quickly drying thanks to the strong
sunshine. Heath watched as Amy closed her eyes and raised her head, letting the
sun bathe her face as she breathed in the cool mountain air. She looked at him
suddenly and smiled slightly. “It feels good,” she said.
The sight of her smiling, something he hadn't seen in far too long, made him
want to take her into his arms, but he didn’t dare, not yet. “Sure does,” he
answered.
As they walked along, Amy drank everything in, the sights, the sounds, the
smells. It was a wonderful feeling, to really experience all these things after
her too-long self-imposed quarantine. She realized now that she hadn’t been
living for the longest time…merely existing. She eagerly took in the view,
feeling as if a horrible weight had been lifted from her shoulders, that she
could…could breathe
again.
Her husband kept looking at her, delighting in her obvious joy. He kept the
conversation turned to happy subjects, instinctively feeling that she’d said
enough about that terrible night for the time being. The urge to take her hand
in his was so strong…but he decided to hold back. He’d held her last night
during her anguish, but now that she seemed to be getting better, he didn’t
want to rush things, didn’t want to undo everything they’d accomplished. He put
his hands in his pockets, keeping his happiness inside for the time being, as
they continued their stroll.
Later that day Heath turned to his wife. “I’m gonna go see if I can catch us
somethin’ good for supper. Will you be all right here alone for a while?”
Amy nodded. “And…I’ll have some coffee ready for you when you get back. That’s
one thing I can make without ruining it,” she said with a slight laugh.
The sound of her laugh, small though it was, filled him with joy, and he laughed,
too, as he retrieved his rifle from where it stood in a corner of the room. He
checked his ammunition before walking out the door.
Amy went to the mirror, taking a good look at herself for the first time in
ages. She was dismayed by her appearance- she’d lost too much weight and her
dress was almost hanging on her. Her face was too pale from lack of sunshine
and there were dark circles under her eyes. But worst of all was her hair. She
wanted to cry as she fingered the shortened tresses that by this time had grown
to shoulder length. Her hair had always been her pride and joy, and now it
looked dull, devoid of luster, the dark brown curls drooping lifelessly.
She got her brush and tried to do something with it, tried to make herself look
more presentable, more feminine. Rummaging through her things, she found a
barrette and pinned it all up in the back, pulling out a few tendrils to hang
over her ears. She knew Heath preferred it down, but right now it really did
look better this way. She vowed not to cut it again, not even trim it, until it
reached its former length.
She heard a sound outside and jumped before realizing that it must be an
animal. I can’t get scared at the drop of a
handkerchief anymore, she admonished herself.
A shot rang out in the distance and she knew it must be Heath. Realizing that
he would be back soon, she put on the coffee and was setting the cups on the
table when Heath walked in the door, carrying a fat rabbit.
He looked at her. “You look nice,” he said quietly.
Amy suddenly felt shy. “Thank you,” she answered, self-consciously adjusting
the folds in her skirt.
He turned abruptly, gesturing with the catch in his hand. “I got lucky- found
this guy right away, should make a real good stew. I’ll go out and get this
ready to cook, and-“
“Can I help?” Amy asked hopefully.
Heath smiled. “Yeah…build up the fire a little. I’ll be right back,” he said,
leaving before she could see the tears of happiness stinging his eyes.
“More?” Heath asked, holding out the ladle.
Amy nodded eagerly. “Yes, please, this is delicious,” she said, taking another
bite of the stew.
Heath was glad to see that her appetite was back. She’d gotten so thin, but the
way she was eating she’d be filled out again in no time, he thought.
After dinner Amy insisted on doing the dishes herself. Heath sat at the table,
watching her while he filled a cigarette paper with tobacco. “I was
thinkin’…maybe tomorrow we could ride over to Maryville. It’s a real nice
little town, and we didn’t go there durin’ our honey…the last time we were
here,” he said. “I think you’d like it. It’s not too far away, ‘bout a half
hour or so…but if you don’t wanna go, it’s all right…”
Amy turned to face him, wiping her hands on a towel. “No, Heath, that sounds
fine. I’d…I’d like to go,” she said with a small smile.
Heath nodded. “Good,” he said.
As he licked the paper before closing the cigarette, Amy almost gasped aloud.
She stood there, the image of his tongue moving the length of the paper
awakening something long dead inside her…and it scared her. She swallowed hard,
but not before a small sound escaped her.
“You say somethin’, darlin’?” Heath asked.
She shook her head, moving hastily to a drawer and pulling out her nightgown.
“No…uh, I think I’ll just get ready for bed.”
He got up, lighting the cigarette. “I’ll just go smoke this outside, then,” he
said, moving towards the door.
“Heath…” her voice stopped him. He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
Amy opened her mouth as if to say something but then changed her mind and just
nodded instead. You don’t have to leave,
she’d wanted to tell him, but hadn’t felt comfortable saying the words, not
yet. Heath nodded back and walked out the door.
Maryville was a lovely little town just outside the mountain range. Heath and Amy
spent a very pleasant morning strolling the main street, looking in shop
windows and making an occasional purchase. As they neared the telegraph office,
Heath decided to send his family a wire to let them know that things were all
right and that they’d probably be home by the end of next week. He knew that
they were all worried about his wife and he wanted to put their minds at ease,
to tell them that she was much better. Two weeks away ought to be enough, he
thought, knowing that he could always send word later if they decided to stay
longer.
“Amy, I’m gonna send a wire home, let everyone know we’re all right. You wanna
come with me or wait here?” he asked.
“I think I’ll just wait here,” she answered. “This shop has such pretty dresses
in the window, maybe I’ll go inside and look around a little,” she said,
smiling.
He gave a short laugh, amused. “A little?” he repeated, smiling back at her.
“Sweetheart, I’ve never known you to take just ‘a little’ look in a dress shop,
but you go ahead, enjoy yourself. I’ll be right back,” he added before going on
his way.
Amy went in and spent several minutes looking at the items for sale. There were
many things that caught her attention, but she decided that she was really too
hungry to look around. Heath had mentioned that there was a nice cafe where
they could stop for lunch, and she realized that she’d rather shop on a full
stomach. As she left the store to wait for him, she smiled to herself, thinking
that it was nice to be looking forward to eating, to enjoy sharing a meal with
her husband.
Suddenly a sound made the smile freeze on her face. She turned and saw a woman
bending over a large pram, trying to comfort the crying baby inside.
Heath was walking back towards the shop when he saw Amy standing outside. He
wasn’t twenty feet away from her when he also heard the infant crying, and saw
his wife’s back suddenly tense up. No,
he thought desperately, watching her. He was just about to run over to her when
he saw Amy slowly approach the woman who was holding the now calm baby in her
arms.
“Such a beautiful baby,” he heard his wife say softly.
“Why, thank you,” the woman answered, smiling at her. “He’s a good boy,
although he can be a bit of a handful at times,” she added as she settled him
back into the pram. “Good day,” she said pleasantly as she and her child
continued on their way.
Amy returned the farewell and turned around, where she saw Heath standing right
behind her. She hadn’t even heard him walk up to her. His face was full of
concern as he asked her, “Amy? You all right?”
At the sight of the tears that suddenly rolled down her cheeks, he was filled
with a momentary sense of fright and despair. But then Amy quickly wiped her
eyes with her handkerchief and nodded. “I’m fine.” She looked him in the eye. “Really,
Heath, I…I’m fine,” she repeated, nodding more emphatically this time.
He didn’t say anything, just smiled slightly at her as he tentatively reached
out and gave her hand a comforting squeeze. She grasped it tightly, not letting
go, as she said to him, “Are you as hungry as I am? Why don’t we stop for lunch
now.”
He looked at her, love and relief all over his face. He nodded and led her down
the sidewalk, hand in hand.
Later that evening, the couple shared a pleasant dinner in the cabin. They were
starting to talk more as Amy slowly but surely continued to come out of her
shell. She even threw her head back and laughed at a joke Heath made at Nick’s
expense. Heath was still being careful to keep their conversations upbeat, not
even touching on the events that had brought them to the cabin in the first
place, though he knew that soon they’d have to fully discuss what had happened.
But not yet. Right now he was still intent on getting her back to the happy,
talkative girl she’d once been, and little by little, it was happening. The
last two days had been full of baby steps, and every smile, every conversation,
every bit of laughter from Amy made Heath feel victorious, triumphant. Seeing
her full of life again, her eyes once again the warm emerald pools which had
enchanted him from their first meeting…it gave him such hope for the future,
something he hadn’t felt in the longest time. There were still long stretches
when no conversation passed between them, but thankfully these silences were
becoming comfortable, no longer awkward and strained.
After dinner, Heath once again went outside so she could get ready for bed. “We
had a long day,” he said. “You must be tired.” All Amy could do was nod her
head as he walked out the door. Once he was outside, she put her hands to her
cheeks, feeling the warmth that suddenly rushed to fill them. Again she had
wanted to tell Heath not to leave, that he could stay while she changed,
but…once again she hadn’t been able to bring herself to say the words. She wanted
to cry with frustration she angrily undid the buttons of her dress.
She thought again of how seeing him lick the cigarette paper last night had
provoked such a visceral reaction inside her. It had been so long since…she
hadn’t even wanted him to touch her in all this time…and she still wasn’t sure
that she was ready for that sort of intimacy. But one thing she was sure of.
More than anything, she missed the feeling of his arms around her. She wanted
to feel their protective warmth, their strength.
As they lay in bed, each on his own side, it took all of her courage to
tentatively say, “Heath…”
He looked at her from where he lay on his back, hands behind his head. “Hm?” he
asked.
Amy forced herself to take a chance. “Heath…would you please…hold me?” she
asked in a very small voice, terrified that he wouldn’t want to.
Heath slight smile belied the way his heart was soaring. “Sure thing, darlin’,”
he said tenderly, moving to take her in his arms. Amy lay with her head on his
chest, her arm around his waist as he held her firmly. She sighed contentedly,
relaxing in his snug, safe cocoon, and fell asleep to the beat of his heart
under her ear.
Heath held her close, reveling in his good fortune.
The sun was beginning to set that evening as Heath sat on
the bench on the cabin’s front porch, smoking. Amy had decided after dinner
that she wanted to take a bath, and he’d helped her heat enough water to fill
the old but serviceable tub. He himself had taken a bar of soap down to the
lake earlier that day. The water was still awfully cold, but he hadn’t minded
too much. A quick dip and scrub was all he’d wanted right then, and anyway, the
cold water helped tame the thought he’d been having all day:
He missed making love to his wife.
For almost two months now, he’d…they’d been celibate, unimaginable given the
extent to which they’d enjoyed each other before that fateful night. At first,
of course, when Amy had been so sick, he hadn’t even thought about being with
her that way, and it had been the same for the first few weeks after she had
recovered physically. He had only wanted to comfort her, though she hadn’t been
able to let him. But he was a healthy, normal male, after all, and after a
while the old urges had returned. He’d suppressed them, as it had been
painfully obvious that she hadn’t had any interest at all.
But now…she was on the verge of being her old self again. Almost was, really,
except for the fact that she had not yet offered herself to him. And Heath
knew, regrettably, that that was the way it would have to be. She would have to
make it clear that she was ready to come to him, body and soul, before he would
allow himself to act on the desire that was building up inside him. He wouldn’t
risk scaring her back into that shell of a woman she’d been for too long, not
when they’d come this far. He was prepared to wait as long as he had to, though
he dearly hoped it wouldn’t be much longer.
The other night when he’d taken off her wet clothes and helped her into her
nightgown, he’d had no intention of making love to her, or anything remotely
close to it. But he wasn’t blind; he’d seen her full, firm breasts that had
always given him so much pleasure. His hands had necessarily brushed against
her skin as he’d removed her clothes, and he had felt its velvety softness.
He was shocked by how much weight she’d really lost, but time would take care
of that, as it would the hair that he had once not been able to keep from
touching even for a day. Despite the changes, she was still the loveliest woman
he’d ever seen, and now that he was sure she was going to be all right, he
allowed himself to think of how much he wanted her.
He’d been overjoyed when she’d asked him to hold her last night, and by the way
she’d held his hand so tightly on their walk through town. And today had
followed suit. After spending all that time in the house after she’d lost the
baby, Amy now wanted to be outside as much as possible, almost as if she were
making up for all the sunshine she’d missed. Heath was more than happy to
oblige; they’d taken a long walk after breakfast and then again after lunch.
While making their way over some rocky, uneven ground, he’d held out his hand
to her without even thinking. She’d taken it, and had kept holding it even when
the path was smoother. It was almost as if they were courting again. And in a
way, they were. He only prayed that the innocent touching of late was the
harbinger of things to come.
The sounds of water splashing from inside the cabin suddenly awakened a memory
in his head.
It had been about a month or so after their wedding, and he’d gotten home a
little earlier than usual, wanting to see his wife. They’d been in the middle
of the fall roundup, and he wouldn’t have usually cut out early, but he had
suddenly felt that he couldn’t go another minute without seeing her, touching
her. She hadn’t been downstairs and so he had gone up to their bedroom, puzzled
when he’d found it empty.
But then he’d heard those same splashing sounds coming from behind their closed
bathroom door. He’d smiled and opened it, surprising Amy as she lay in the tub.
She’d piled her dark hair on top of her head, and
a few loose curls hung down, touching her shoulders. Her wet, lush breasts
gleamed in the lamplight, the steam rising around her. He just stood there,
unable to speak, staring at this vision that was his wife.
“You’re home early,” she said, a slight smile on her lips.
He nodded absently, his breathing quickening. “Yeah.” His voice was low,
almost a growl.
“You know,” she remarked casually, sensuously running a toe along the edge
of the tub, “I’ve often wondered if this bathtub is big enough for two.”
His fingers fumbled as he quickly removed his gunbelt and chaps. “’Bout
time we found out, wouldn’t you say?” he asked huskily, as he hurriedly
unbuttoned his shirt and pants, leaving them in a heap on the floor.
She nodded in response; her face alight with anticipation as he walked over
and climbed in with her.
His body responded as the memory of that afternoon replayed itself in his mind.
They’d found, to their delight, that the tub was indeed big enough for two. As
he uncomfortably shifted his weight, he smiled, remembering the endless teasing
he’d suffered at the hands of both of his brothers for smelling like a flower
garden that evening. It had been worth it, though. That had been quite an
afternoon, he recalled, praying that they’d recapture that passion soon. He
finished his cigarette and threw it to the floor, mashing it under his boot.
Amy chose that moment to open the door and walk out onto the porch in her robe,
running the brush through her damp hair. Heath casually crossed his legs, glad
it was already too dark for her to be able to read his thoughts.
She walked over to the bench where he was sitting and stopped, hesitating. He
hastily moved to make room for her, and she shyly sat down next to him.
Slowly, gently, he moved his arm from where it lay across the back of the bench
and placed it around her shoulders. He was rewarded with her moving slightly
and resting her head on his shoulder. They sat there, listening to the evening
sounds.
Heath suddenly realized that something was different. “Lavender,” he murmured,
pleasantly surprised. He hadn’t smelled it in so long that he’d almost
forgotten she’d ever used it.
He felt her nod against his shoulder. “Your mother packed it without telling
me.” Heath smiled, silently blessing the wise, petite woman. He tentatively put
his fingers into Amy’s hair. “It’s growin’ back real nice,” he remarked.
Another nod. “It should grow back pretty quickly, it always has.” She raised
her head slightly. “Heath…I never apologized to you for just…cutting it all off
without even asking you. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-“
“Shh,” he interrupted softly, easing her head back down to his shoulder. He
didn’t want any unnecessary apologies to spoil the moment.
Amy was thinking that she hadn’t felt this happy, this content, in months. Only
one thing was keeping this moment from being perfect.
She wasn’t sure her husband wanted her physically anymore.
She finally knew she wanted him, wanted him badly. She hadn’t had the desire
for months; but then, she hadn’t really felt anything in all that time. Amy saw
now what a waste it had all been, that there had been no need for her to turn
her back on the world the way she had- and especially, on Heath. But she hadn’t
been able to help it. The horrors she’d suffered had been so terrible that the
only way she’d been able to survive had been to lock it all away- and in the
process, lock herself away.
But the guilt had been the worst part. Guilt over what she’d done- or what
she’d thought she’d done. Looking back now, she was filled with shame for the
way she’d treated her husband- not just him, but the rest of the family as
well. But she’d been so full of self-loathing, so sure that they would feel the
same disgust she felt for herself if they only knew…and so she’d unconsciously
closed herself off from them, feeling utterly worthless and contemptible in
their presence.
She’d thought she’d been protecting herself, but she could see now that she’d
been wrong, so wrong. Heath didn’t blame her. He loved her, she was sure of
that. This wonderful man, her tower of strength, had done everything he could
to reach her, to help her through her pain. His actions proved his love for her
louder than any words ever could.
That’s what love was really all about- the doing, the giving. And she’d been
merely taking for far too long. Enough was enough. She wanted to go back to
being a giver, to being an equal, supportive partner in their marriage. To be
the kind of wife that Heath deserved.
Amy closed her eyes, letting the contentedness wash over her as Heath’s thumb
absently played over her shoulder. After finally unloading all of the pain and
guilt the other night, she was starting to feel like her old self again. She
was surprised but relieved at just how quickly. And she wanted to give herself
completely to the man she loved so, to have their bodies join together so that
at last she could feel complete once more.
But did he still want her, that way? The few times he’d touched her these past
few days had been wonderful, including the feel of his arm around her now.
But were they just gestures of comfort? A husband trying to make his fragile
wife feel better?
Whatever they were, they only made her yearn for more. Amy lay against her
husband, breathing in the wonderful smell of him, a mixture of soap, tobacco,
and that delicious, slightly musky scent that was uniquely his. She sighed,
moving closer to him, her robe opening over her legs before she quickly closed
it…
But not before Heath caught a glimpse of her shapely calves and thighs. His
fist tightened in frustration as he thought of the countless times those legs
had been wrapped around his waist, the way she’d moaned with pleasure as he’d…
He swallowed hard and tried to think about something else, but it didn’t work.
His discomfort was worse than ever and he knew he couldn’t sit so close to her
anymore just then, not if it wouldn’t lead anywhere. He cleared his throat and tried
to sound casual as he said, “It’s startin’ to get cold out here and your hair’s
still wet. We’d better go inside.”
She nodded, and they got up and went into the cabin.
Heath stood in front of the fireplace, looking into the flames.
His own heat hadn’t cooled down one bit, and didn’t know how much longer he’d
be able to keep it in check. He glanced toward his wife who was in front of the
mirror, giving her hair a few final strokes with the brush. It was now obvious
to him, especially after what he’d seen outside, that she wasn’t wearing
anything under her robe, and the thought of it was almost more than he could
take. He cursed under his breath and tried to take his mind off her by adding
more kindling to the fire.
Amy put down her brush and watched her husband as he squatted in front of the
fireplace. Her glance took in the way the flames outlined the strong thighs
that strained against his pants, the muscular back over which his shirt
stretched tightly as he reached for another piece of wood. Her mouth went dry
as she looked at her husband’s beautiful body, the one that had always taken
her to such heights, and she almost cried at the thought that they’d never get
there again.
She couldn’t blame him if he didn’t want her physically; she’d treated him so
badly these past few months, and she knew she didn’t look too desirable these
days. But if she approached him and he rejected her…she wouldn’t be able to
bear it. She didn’t know if she had the courage to take that chance.
Heath got up and sat down at the table, his back to her, to take off his boots.
He figured sleep was the only way to escape seeing her, thinking about her, and
he planned on turning in. As he got up to walk to the bed, he thought he heard
Amy say something, but it had been so soft he didn’t know what it was. He
looked at her questioningly as she took a few tentative steps toward him.
“Heath…” she said, a bit more loudly but still not much above a whisper.
He saw that she was wringing her hands together. “Something wrong, darlin’?” he
asked, concerned.
She shook her head. “No, it’s just…oh, it’s nothing, forget it,” she said,
mentally berating herself for her cowardice.
Heath nodded and again started toward the bed when she suddenly said his name
again, louder than she’d intended.
This time Heath stopped and really looked at her, saw the anguish in her face.
Worriedly, he asked her, “Amy, what is it? What’s wrong?”
She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t, and closed it again. Her head kept
ordering her to tell him that she loved him, that she wanted him, but she just
couldn’t bring herself to take that risk. The thought that she had to do
something, had to find out once and for all, kept ringing in her head, and in
an impulsive burst of courage she took a deep breath and undid her robe,
letting it fall to the floor. She looked down to where it lay at her feet,
unable to meet his eyes, afraid of the rejection she might see on his face.
For a few moments, Heath didn’t move, and she thought with despair that her
worst fear had been realized. He didn’t
want her anymore, not that way. Heartbroken as well as mortified, she hastily
bent down to pick up her robe. “I don’t know what I was thinking, just forget
I-“
Amy was interrupted by Heath’s hand on her arm. It moved down and removed the
robe from her grip, letting it fall back to the floor.
She slowly raised her head to meet his gaze, and almost cried out with relief
and joy at what she saw there. The way he was looking at her…she knew that
look, she hadn’t seen it in months, but she knew it. She trembled slightly with
anticipation at the sight of the raw lust on his face, the hunger in his eyes.
“Amy…” he said hoarsely, gripping her arm. “Are you sure?”
She nodded slowly. “Very sure,” she managed. She looked down and gasped at the
startling proof of her husband’s desire for her, and felt it as her pulled her
close. Heath just looked at her in wonderment for a moment before gently
pressing his lips against hers.
That first touch of his mouth on hers sent shockwaves through Amy, and she
reached up and put her arms around Heath’s neck, her fingers in his hair,
urging him on. His kiss quickly became hot, eager, as he pushed his tongue into
her welcoming mouth, moving and searching, as his hands hungrily roved her
body. She took her hands from his hair only long enough to undo the buttons on
his shirt and pull it off him. He pulled her back against him quickly, groaning
at the feel of her breasts pressed against his bare chest, groaning again when
her tongue eagerly reintroduced itself to the depths of his mouth.
They stood there, frantically exploring each other, as Amy moved her hands down
and unbuttoned his pants, not an easy task as the material was stretched so
tightly just then. She laughed slightly, breathily into Heath’s mouth as she
finally got them undone and pushed them down. A sound escaped his throat as his
wife eagerly caressed him, making him lightheaded with desire.
Heath moved them over to the bed and gently pushed her down onto it, kicking
off his pants before laying his body over hers. He eagerly moved his mouth over
her throat, down to her breasts, taking a moment to reacquaint himself with
each lush globe, his tongue’s skillful maneuvers making Amy moan loudly and
arch her body against him. Her fingers were again entwined in his hair,
silently pleading with him not to stop, to never stop. Heath’s mouth and hands
were all over her, not able to devour her fast enough. Her fingernails raked
over his back, making his movements even more urgent, more insistent, as he
branded her, reclaimed every inch of her.
The increasingly loud sounds of pleasure emanating from his wife were
threatening to send him over the edge, and finally he lay atop her, unable to
wait one minute more. Heath hesitated, looking into her eyes. He was almost
shaking, he wanted her so badly, but it had been so long, and he was still that
slightest bit worried. Amy knew what he was thinking, and as she looked at him
with all the love that was in her heart, she ran her hands down to his backside
and pressed firmly. “Heath…” she breathed, “please…hurry.”
Heath nodded quickly, a corner of his mouth lifting slightly as their bodies
began their final act of reacquaintance, the act that would finally complete
their reunification as man and wife.
Previously, their lovemaking had often been an undulating valley of fasts and
slows, their movements going from the frenetic to the languid and then back
again. Heath would often take them both to the brink, allowing both his wife
and himself to only dream of the ecstasy that awaited them, and then pull them
back from the edge, sometimes several times, before finally allowing them both
to vault through that final wonderful gate.
Not so this time. This first coupling after such a long separation was frantic,
zealous in its single-minded purpose of tearing down that final hurdle as
quickly as possible. Later, there would be time for a slow, languid courtship
of bodies. But for now, there was no time for the murmured endearments, the
whispers of encouragement, the lazy, teasing caresses that had always been a
part of the physical act of their love.
I was born for this man to make love to me,
Amy thought, deep in the throes of rapturous ecstasy. It was all so wonderfully
familiar, yet at the same time so excitingly new. It wasn’t long before she saw
the look starting on her husband’s face, that look of delicious agony that she
had always loved to see, and she now joined Heath as the wave picked them both
up, driving them crazily towards the shore.
A moment later, safe in the knowledge that there were no prying ears, she
practically screamed in sweet, blessed release, the sound serving also as the
final cathartic hammerblow to the wall she’d built around herself. Heath met
her there, gripping her tightly before collapsing against her.
They lay there in the afterglow, the silence in the room interrupted only by
their breathing and the occasional crackling of the fire. Heath finally moved
off his wife and lay next to her, holding her close.
Amy turned to him and stroked his cheek with her hand. There were tears in her
eyes as she said, “Heath…I’m so sorry…for everything…”
He propped himself up on his elbow and gently rubbed the skin over her ribcage.
He shook his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You needed a chance to
heal, is all.”
Her gaze softened. “It’s only because of you that I’ve been able to heal.”
Suddenly she remembered something he had said the other night when she had
finally released the pain and guilt. “Heath…you mustn’t think I ever blamed
you…it never even entered my mind…” She closed her eyes, and when she opened
them, they expelled more tears. “I’ve treated you so badly all this time, you
didn’t deserve that. I…I just couldn’t help being… Oh, Heath, please…forgive
me,” she pleaded, grasping his arm tightly.
“Amy…there’s nothing to forgive,” he said tenderly. “I know why you were…that
way before, and I understand, I understand everything now. And we’ll talk about
it- all of it.” He smiled slightly. “All that matters right now is that I’ve
got my wife back.” He bent down and kissed her softly on the lips.
She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. “I love you…I don’t think I’ll
ever be able to express to you just how much,” she almost whispered.
There was a catch in his voice as he spoke. “Well, if it’s only half as much as
I love you, then I reckon I’m the luckiest man alive,” he said, kissing away
her tears.
They held eachother for a long time, resting from their exertions, until Heath
gently but firmly pulled his wife on top of him.
“Already?” she asked, smiling, pleasantly surprised at his unusually quick
recovery time.
Heath nodded. “We’ve got a lot of catchin’ up to do,” he said, gently caressing
her breasts.
She gasped at his touch before answering. “And do you plan for us to do all
that ‘catching up’ tonight?” she asked breathily.
“Mm hm,” he answered, his hands moving more urgently.
“Good,” she murmured, bending over him.
The tug on Heath’s line told him that his patience had been
rewarded, and he pulled in his catch. The fat trout gleamed in the sunlight,
and he carefully removed the hook and placed the fish in the waiting bucket
before adding new bait and tossing his line back into the clear lake. He sat
back on the grass and sighed contentedly, thinking about the week that had
elapsed since he and Amy had finally, truly come together again as man and
wife. They had had a wonderful time getting reacquainted; taking long walks
through the woods, picnicking by the lake, enjoying the beautiful scenery.
The days of being next to each other without touching were gone forever. They
constantly had their arms around each other or held hands now, and Heath kept
finding himself unable to stop whatever they were doing and pull Amy into his
embrace. He was still reveling in her return, and almost needed the tangible
reassurance that she was really there, really back to her old self.
There were some long talks about what had happened that terrible night, as well
as over the last few months, and more tears were shed by both of them as the
issues that had been buried for too long were finally brought out and allowed
to shrink somewhat, become less threatening when exposed to the light of day.
They had vowed to each other never to let any unspoken thought or feeling come
between them ever again; that from now on they would immediately talk through
any problem, any dilemma.
Heath smiled to himself as he thought of how their nights had been spent over
the past week. And not just the nights. They couldn’t seem to get enough of
each other, and a yawn escaped him as he realized that he was pretty tired from
all their exertions. Not that he would have traded a moment of pleasure with
his wife for an equal amount of sleep. Maybe after lunch they’d take a nice
long nap, he thought, stretching his legs out in front of him.
His musings were interrupted by a soft pair of arms that encircled his neck
from behind. Heath smiled again as his wife’s lips caressed the side of his
neck. “Now how do you like that,” he asked, trying to sound stern. “Man’s
working hard, catching lunch, and his wife comes up and bothers him.”
Amy smiled into his neck. “Oh, am I bothering you?” she asked, holding him even
more tightly.
Heath nodded. “You sure are.” His large hand tightly grasped the two smaller
ones that lay crossed over his chest. His voice turned soft as he continued.
“And don’t you ever stop.”
Amy moved to his side and sat down so that she was looking at him. She shook
her head as her emerald eyes gazed intently into his sapphire ones. “Not ever,”
she answered, just as softly.
Her husband let the fishing pole fall to the ground, their lunch forgotten as
he put his arms around her and kissed her deeply. As he was about to lay her
down on the warm grass, the line jerked. He and Amy pulled back from each other
and laughed as he scrambled to grab the pole before its catch dragged it away.
“You’d better get that fish, you’ll need your strength,” Amy warned, still
laughing.
“I’m counting on it,” Heath answered, kissing her quickly before pulling in the
line.
That night, after they’d undressed each other and lay between the sheets, Heath
reached up to turn down the lamp, then changed his mind. Instead, he pulled the
sheet off of Amy so that she was fully exposed to him.
“What are you doing?” she asked curiously, a smile starting.
Heath put his fingers to her collarbone and lazily traced a path over her soft
skin, studiously avoiding where he knew she wanted to be touched. “Decided I
want to look at my beautiful wife. If you don’t have any objections, that is,”
he added, carrying on with his teasing movements.
Amy could barely breathe from what he was doing to her. “None,” she managed in
a strangled voice.
He half-smiled, his fingers continuing to play over her, and just when she thought
she could no longer bear it, he finally decided to give her some relief. Amy
unthinkingly let out a cry of delight, and Heath looked at his wife tenderly,
pleased with her response. “Yep,” he said quietly, nodding. “First thing I’m
gonna do when we get back home is finish building us that house.”
She smiled at him. “I’m glad,” she breathed, pulling his head down so that his
lips met hers.
Much later, Amy lay with her head on Heath’s chest, her hand playing in the
crisp hair there. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, “you mentioned earlier
about us going home, and I think it’s about time we did, don’t you?”
He took one arm down from where it had been resting under his head and stroked
her back. “You sure?” he asked. “I know I wired the family that we’d probably
be back in the next few days, but we can stay as long as you want.”
She shook her head. “I love you for offering…but I know you need to get back to
work. It wouldn’t be fair to leave everything to Nick anymore. Besides,” she
added, lifting her head and turning to look at him, “I want to go home, to get
on with our lives.”
Heath nodded, feeling the same way. “All right, if you’re sure. We can go back
tomorrow,” he said.
“Sounds good,” Amy agreed. She sighed. “You know, this past week has been
wonderful, like a second honeymoon.”
Her husband chuckled softly. “Yeah, from what I remember we didn’t move much
from this spot on our first one, either,” he said.
She laughed before moving up slightly and looking into his eyes. They lay there
silently, gazing lovingly at each other, thinking about the life that awaited
them.
Neither of them could have known that their rekindled love wouldn’t be the only
precious cargo they’d be toting home the next day.
At the sound of the wagon approaching, Victoria looked up from her knitting and
walked to the window. She was rewarded with the sight of her son putting his
hands around her daughter-in-law’s waist and lifting her down to the ground.
Victoria clasped her hands together with joy- even from this distance she could
see that the roses were back in Amy’s cheeks. A tear escaped her eye as she saw
the way the two of them looked adoringly at each other before Heath put his
arms around his wife and kissed her.
“Audra, they’re home!” she called, wiping her eyes as she hurried to the door
to greet them.
EPILOGUE
The front door opened with a bang, startling Jarrod. He looked up to see Heath
rush in, breathless, with Nick close behind him.
Heath looked around frantically and saw his brother. “Jarrod,” he said, trying
to catch his breath. “Is it…has it happened yet…”
Jarrod shook his head. “No, but Audra just poked her head out to say that it
would be soon. You know, it’s been two hours since Ciego rode off to get you-
where were you two?”
“Way out in Shadow Canyon,” Heath answered regrettably, shaking his head. “I
woulda stayed closer to home if I’d thought…the doc said it probably wouldn’t
be until next week!” he exclaimed, slamming his gloves into the palm of one
hand. He was now doubly glad they’d moved in with his family for the last few
weeks of Amy’s pregnancy. He’d been afraid that her time would come while he
was away from their house, with no one to help her.
His wife suddenly cried out in pain upstairs, and Heath had to hold on to the
table to keep himself in check. “Maybe…maybe I should go up there,” he said,
starting for the stairs.
His brothers were on him like a shot. “Oh no, you don’t,” Nick admonished, as
he and Jarrod each took one of Heath’s arms and led him to the table which held
the drinks. “Believe me, that’s the LAST place you wanna be! It’s your job to
stay down here, out of the way, and it’s OUR job to make sure ya do- and to
keep you liquored up,” he added, pouring some brandy into a glass and offering
it to his brother.
Heath shook his head, wanting to remain sharp right then. He looked again
toward the stairs. “But she might need me, maybe I could help-“
“Heath, women have been doing this since time began,” Jarrod interrupted with a
wry smile. “And doing it just fine without your help, I might add.”
As another cry of pain was heard, Heath suddenly grabbed the glass he’d just
declined and gulped down the contents in record time. Seeing his pale, worried
face, Nick put a hand on his shoulder. “Heath, don’t worry, she’s gonna be fine,
just-“
He was interrupted by the unmistakable sound of a newborn’s wail coming from
the upstairs bedroom.
The three brothers looked at each other, breaking into smiles, as Nick and
Jarrod both clapped Heath on the back. “Well, go on up, meet the newest
Barkley!” Jarrod exclaimed.
“Yeah,” Nick chimed in. “And lemme know whether I’m an aunt or an uncle.” He
laughed at his own bad joke, shaking his head.
The three shared one more embrace before Heath ran to the staircase. In his
haste, he tripped over the bottom stair, making his brothers laugh. He looked
back at them menacingly before smiling and continuing up to the bedroom he
shared with his wife.
He opened the door and was met by Audra. “I was just about to call you,” she
said, giving him a hug. “Congratulations, Papa,” she added happily, and was
answered with a lopsided grin.
Heath looked behind her and saw Amy lying in the bed, looking tired but happy-
and standing next to her was his mother…holding his child. He walked slowly
toward them, suddenly feeling very out of place.
Victoria inclined her head to kiss his cheek, tears of joy in her eyes. She
carefully placed the warm bundle in his arms. “Meet your son, Heath,” she said,
smiling at him, overcome with emotion at the birth of her first grandchild.
“My son,” he repeated wonderingly, looking down at the littlest Barkley. He
gently sat down on the bed next to Amy. “I love you,” he whispered, bending
down to kiss her damp forehead. She smiled weakly at him. “And I love you,” she
said quietly, leaning against him and turning to look at the baby in his arms.
Heath turned to Dr. Merar. “Doc,” he asked, “everything go all right?”
The kindly old doctor smiled. He’d attended more births than he could count
over the years, but this was one of the happiest. “Right as rain, Heath,” he
said, finishing tending to Amy for the moment. “I’ll be back shortly,” he said,
getting up and leaving the room to join the two new uncles in a celebratory
drink.
Victoria and Audra decided to leave as well and give the new family some
privacy. Suddenly, the baby let out a wail, startling his father. “What…what’s
wrong?” he asked, scared to death. He’d never been nervous around babies
before, but this was his son…his son.
Victoria smiled. “I think he’s hungry,” she said, giving Amy a kiss before
leaving the room with Audra.
The new father slowly placed the infant in his wife’s arms. “Here you go,
Mama,” he said tenderly, brushing Amy's long hair off her shoulders and putting
an arm around her. She undid her gown and put the baby to her breast. He
immediately quieted down, sucking greedily.
Heath watched, mesmerized. “Takes after his father,” he remarked, chuckling
softly.
Amy laughed. “He certainly does,” she agreed, stroking the plump little cheek
with her finger.
Her husband gently moved his hand over the baby’s shock of dark hair, the same
shade as Amy’s. “You know,” he said tentatively, “I still like that name we
picked.” They hadn’t had any further discussion on names during this pregnancy,
hadn’t wanted to jinx things. For a moment he was worried that his suggestion
would upset her, but she looked at him, her eyes wet with joy, and said, “So do
I, my love.” She smiled. “William James Barkley…that’s a big name for such a
little man.”
Heath thought for a moment. “We could call him Will,” he said, holding his wife
more tightly against him.
Amy nodded happily. “That sounds perfect,” she answered.
As Heath sat there, embracing his new family in his arms, the thought occurred
to him that his life had come full circle. From that sad, lonely day after his
mother’s funeral, when he had set off on a journey to meet the family that he
hadn’t been sure would even acknowledge him as one of their own…to now. As the
happy sounds from the parlor drifted upstairs, he looked at his wife, her face
already full of mother love as she gazed down at their firstborn. Amy looked up
at him suddenly, their eyes meeting, and from her smile Heath was sure that his
other half knew exactly what he was thinking.
The two of them looked at each other over their child’s head, content in the
knowledge that their love would see them through the challenges of parenthood-
and anything else life had to offer them. Their love that had been tried and
tested- but never shaken, and never would be.
THE END