Homecoming

by soho178

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 1

Sam Kincaid searched the room, looking for clues to explain the disappearance. The man he’d dropped at his door last night seemed happy to be home. This morning he was gone, horse, saddle bags, everything.

Eyes roaming the room, they stopped on the pile of old newspapers by the stove. The firebox was cold, halfway to being lit. Some of the papers rested apart. Walking over, he scanned the headlines and swore.

Two weeks of non-stop travel and a year of exile hadn’t prepared Heath Barkley for the turmoil that shook him when he rode through those gates again. Typical of his personality, his face remained set and unreadable, only the eyes reflecting any of the war that raged inside. He’d left two days after returning from the logging camp that Matt Bentell ran for the Barkleys. He’d stayed just long enough to close his bank account and make good on some promises. It had been two silent, anger filled days. He’d done their bidding, protected the man, and he’d proven them wrong. He still hated him, was content to live his life hating the man. They weren’t content to let him, so he’d left.

Heath knew how to disappear. Even if he didn’t, the family knew it was over between them. A thousand million imaginings of ways to heal the rift hadn’t changed the irrevocable nature of what they’d done. For six months there had been unspoken grief between them and the knowledge that they had destroyed something very precious. The one victim in it all had been his sister, the one person who had taken his side, against the rest. She’d ended up caught in the crossfire of their warring desires. And typical of most wars, the innocent victim had paid the highest price. He was here because he owed her. He told himself that if it had been any of the others he would have simply crumpled the six month old paper and burned it without a second thought.

Duke McCall, standing n the barn doorway, just inside the shadows, didn’t know whether to cheer or swear at the sight of the man who rode up to the house and just sat there for several minutes.

“Hey boss, you want me to go find out who that is?” One of the younger hands who had been working in the barn came to his side.

“No, no, I know who it is. I’d best go up to the house.” He started the long slow walk, just as the rider dismounted and headed up the steps.

It was lunch time, likely there’d be someone home. He walked in without knocking and strode to the Dining room. He’d been right, the three of them were seated at the table in a pathetic imitation of what had once been a loving ritual. Family meals at this table were supposed to be loud and unpredictable, graced by the give and take of people who knew and loved one another. The deathly silence that hung in the room was unnatural and caused the hair on his neck to rise.

It took them a moment to react. His entrance hadn’t been loud, that was Nick’s style. Even quieter now than he’d been when he lived here, he simply stood there until they saw past the trail dust and the beard and recognition dawned.

“Well look who’s decided to visit. Mighty nice of ya to stop in little brother.” Nick spat the words out with so much malice in his voice that it caused Heath to mentally regroup. He wasn’t sure of what he’d expected, but this wasn’t it.

“Nick, Mother, Jarrod.” It wasn’t a greeting laced with love, it was the tone used with those you had to be wary of, not quite enemies, but not to be trusted. A spark of something…was it hope or pain?…flickered in Victoria's eyes. Jarrod just stared at him.

“Whadda you want, Heath?” Nick matched him tone for tone, but the rage building inside him was tangible.

“I came to see Audra.”

Chapter 2

“Why you sonoffabitch!” Nick launched himself at Heath in a fury of fists and rage. The blond had been taken off guard and hit the floor before he could defend himself.

Silently thanking his maker that he’d trusted his intuition and trailed the younger man into the foyer, Duke was on Nick in a flash, pinning his arms.

“Let me go Duke!” He struggled to push the bull of a man off himself.

“Not until you calm down Nick. Your Mother don’t need this on top of everything else.” His voice cut through Nick’s anger and the dark cowboy suddenly went limp.

Heath watched with wary, uncomprehending eyes. Rising, he put some distance between himself and the two wranglers. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but this welcome wasn’t it. His confusion grew when Victoria placed a kiss on Nick’s cheek then left the room. “Thank you Duke. Behave yourself Nicholas.” She gave Heath no more than a speculative glance in passing.

Nick followed his Mother’s progress up the stairs with his eyes, then looked around and swore once more.

“Where’s Jarrod?”

“He left a minute ago, through the kitchen.” Heath had been the only one to see it.

Duke cocked his head towards the back of the house with a questioning look and Nick’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

In yet another dizzying shift of events Nick’s anger flared. “I’ll take you to Audra.” He walked out of the house not even bothering to see if his blond brother followed. “Duke, get the supplies and the wagon.”

Heath opened his mouth to question the Foreman but received a silent shake of the head before any words could be spoken. He didn’t know where he stood with Duke, didn’t know if the man who had accepted him early on as a Barkley son was now friend or enemy. From the grim set of his mouth, Heath wasn’t betting on the former. He chided himself for his foolishness. Why did he even care?

He fell into step with Nick and Duke, who carried a saddle bag over one shoulder. Ciego was busy hitching up a team to meet them at their destination. Duke simply nodded at the longtime Barkley ranch hand in unspoken confirmation of the preparations the man was making. Heath had the feeling of having walked into a play where he didn’t know the story or the lines but everyone else was well-rehearsed. Nothing felt familiar or comfortable. Nothing was making sense. It was as though he’d memorized the lines to one play and was trying to make them fit a different one.

The path they headed up led up the hill behind the house, past the spot where he’d spent so many mornings watching the sunrise, and eventually to the family cemetery. He’d visited the cemetery only once or twice in his months at the ranch, the only grave there being that of Tom Barkley, the father he’d never known or forgiven. Even the knowledge that his own mother had chosen the life of the town bastard for him, rather than risk losing him to his wealthy father hadn’t moderated Heath’s anger. His inability to forgive Tom Barkley had been the one sticking point in his relationship with Audra. She had loved her father with all devotion of an adolescent girl when he was murdered. In her mind he remained her knight errant, her prince, the man that all others must measure up against. He’d never begrudged her that love, but she was simply too young and too sheltered to understand his point of view. Still, she’d been the one to accept him without any reservation.

Heath followed in silence, his heart pounding. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Why were they heading to the cemetery? His mind flashed warning signals that his consciousness refused to acknowledge. He had come to see that she was alright, to apologize to her for leaving and for not being there to protect her. The dread that grew with each step up the hill told him that it was too late, just like with his mother, he was too late.

“We take turns watching him. Duke helps, the hands all know to come right away if they see him by himself. Mostly it’s Mother though. She spends her days with him.”

They were back in the Library, drinks in hand. Heath had needed one after the scene at the cemetery. It would have been hard enough seeing Audra’s headstone there, next to Father’s. By the time they had reached the last stretch of he trail he’d known what would lay at the end. It hadn’t made the seeing any easier. But even worse had been Jarrod and the way Nick and Duke just calmly dealt with the situation. As though it was a familiar and well worn routine. He’d been kneeling at her grave, sobbing, body shaking with profound grief. The suit jacket folded neatly to one side an overlooked detail.

It was only when Nick had walked up to him and reached down that Heath had realized that the shaking was more than simple grief and Nick was taking something out of his oldest brother’s hands.

“I’m so sorry Audra.” Jarrod just kept repeating it over an over, half chanting, half crying. When Heath approached he was horrified to find blood covering the front of the pristine white shirt. Nick just handed him the silver fork that he’d prized from the other man’s grip and turned to Duke who held the medical kit nearby. Together they began to bandage the bloody forearms.

“It’s okay Pappy, Audra knows. She loves you Pappy, she wouldn’t want you doing this.”

Heath had made himself forget the gentle side of his middle brother. In his need to protect and heal himself, he’d forced every kind thought about the three of them out of his mind. Watching him as he gently soothed the distraught eldest brother and bandaged his arms had brought a flood of memories that he’d tried to exorcise. From the looks of Jarrod’s arms Nick had done this a lot lately. He looked at the object in his hands and shuddered.

“Help me get him into the wagon.” Nick’s voice cut through the memories and brought him back to the present.

“He punishes himself.” The simple statement of the obvious brought Heath back to the present and left it open for him to decide where the conversation would lead. The trouble was, he had no idea of where to begin. After a few moments silence Nick simply sighed and started.

“Why are you here Heath?”

“I told you, I came to see Audra, I didn’t know…”

Nick looked at him in disbelief, it had been in papers across the country…the kidnap, the extortion, Jarrod’s withdrawal from the race for Attorney General as ransom for his sister, and finally the failure of the kidnappers to return her.

Chapter 3

Heath sat in the Library and digested all that his brother had told him, all that he’d seen himself. Victoria had yet to greet him. So far she had looked at him as though he were a curiosity, to be examined at arms length. Jarrod, oh God, he’d become a ghost of the man that Heath had so admired. In his wildest dreams he couldn’t have imagined Jarrod Barkley lost, guilt-ridden and self-destructive. And Nick...there was just no fight left in him. He was every bit as shattered as Jarrod, every bit as bereft of joy.

As the evening shadows grew longer, Silas came in to ask them if they wanted any dinner. Even he didn’t seem to have any heart left.

“A sandwich would be fine Silas. I have to go check on Mother and Jarrod.” Nick stood to leave and Heath made to follow.

“No offense Heath, but I’d rather you didn’t.”

He was about to object and say they were his family too. Then he realized that they weren’t any more. Old habits died hard. He’d been here for less than 8 hours and he was already falling back into dangerous habits. He needed to get himself under control or he was going to end up hurt all over again. He nodded his head and let Nick go alone.

Later they were sitting at the kitchen table eating. Heath hadn’t been able to bring himself to sit in the Dining room again. He was angry and not hiding it well.

“Spit it out Heath or go eat somewhere else. I’m too damn tired for playing guessing games.”

“You said Audra’s body was never found. She could still be alive.” She was the only one of the family still left to him. He began to shake with the intensity of his anger. “Why’d you give up on her so quick?”

Nick took in the clenched jaw and the white knuckle hold on the glass in his brother’s hand. His anger sparked off his brother’s. Who did he think he was, coming in here and questioning the choices that Nick made in this living Hell? The familiar storm gathered in the hazel eyes. Lightening flashed between the two.

“Why you…” He clenched the edge of the table to keep his hands still. “I only see one person sittin’ at this table who gave up.”

Heath sprang like a panther, grabbing the other man by his shirt and dragging him from the chair. Nick grabbed his wrists trying to push them aside but he was off balance and couldn’t get the needed leverage. He ended backed up against Silas’ pot rack as the heavy cast iron pieces crashed to the floor.”

“Wrong Nick. You all chose Bentell over me. I never stood a chance.”

“Heath! Nick! Stop it now!” Silas’ voice boomed at them. Neither had ever heard the gentle man’s voice raised in anger until now.

“If what you need is to go outside and beat each other to death then just go do it. I’m sick of the both of you!”

Heath loosened his grip when Nick relaxed. “Sorry Silas.” The two men spoke as one.

Reaching for one of the large copper pots that had rolled across the floor, Nick still needed to vent his anger. “What the hell makes you think I’ve given up? Where do you get off acting so self-righteous about anything I’ve had to do?”

Heath glared back and said two words “The headstone.”

Of course, it would seem that way. He shook his head.

“We put it up about two months ago. It just…we just…they needed to accept and move on. It’s helped some.” Heath’s eyes widened at the thought that what he was seeing in this house was an improvement.

“I’ve still got Pinkerton’s working on it, but so far there’s nothing more.” He settled with his back against the massive wrought iron cook stove and rubbed the weariness from his face.

“Look Heath, you’d best know, I’m thinking of selling the ranch and moving Mother and Jarrod back East.” If the previous statement had surprised Heath, this one shocked him to his core. Nick Barkley was devoted to the ranch that was his father’s life work and legacy.

“You can’t do that Nick, it would kill you.” The statement spoke volumes about what he knew and felt deep inside about his older brother, as well as what he didn’t know after his long absence.

Anger flared and there was a hint of the old Nick as he yelled “You just don’t get it do you? We’ve been dead for months, just don’t know enough to lie down.”

As quickly as the anger came it left. “No it’s best for Mother and Jarrod to be away from all the memories this place holds.” Somehow Heath couldn’t be sorry he’d provoked the outburst. Somewhere the old Nick still existed, still held on. He tried not to be happy about that, tried not to care, but the feelings were creeping around the edges of his heart.

He tried and failed to steel himself against the hovering desire to care about these people. “Do those include me?”

It was Nick’s turn to rest a speculative eye on his younger brother. “Yes.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Nick chose the safer interpretation of the question. “You’re legally part owner of the ranch. I’ll need your signature on the documents when the sale is concluded. You’ll need to let me know how to get in touch.”

“How about I just give you my Power of Attorney before I leave and that will take care of it.”

“That’d be fine.”

Chapter 4

Heath woke to the sound of crying. Waking in his old room, so familiar yet so foreign, disoriented him so that he thought it must have been another of the dreams that had plagued him over the months. But them he heard it again, carried faintly through the walls. Following the sound to its source he stopped outside Jarrod’s door unsure whether to enter or not. In the end he cursed his weakness and opened the door.

Jarrod was lying on the bed, his hands in restraints. Nick had explained that it was necessary for a few days or he’d simply rip open the stitches that Doctor Merar had put in earlier. Heath moved to the bed and sat down, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Shhh, Jarrod, it’s okay, it’s only a dream.”

He’d been mistaken, thinking Jarrod was asleep or at least still lost in his other world. He didn’t know that this was one of the increasingly rare moments of clarity his brother would experience. The voice that answered in the dark room startled him. “If only it was.” He sighed. “Heath, can I ask you something?”

Instantly on guard he nodded.

“Why didn’t you come? I’ve never known you to be a callous man. I never thought you’d hold our decision against Audra. Why didn’t you come when she was taken?”

Jarrod’s lucidity startled him, as did the words that seemed to hold no malice for his actions, only lack of understanding.

“I couldn’t Jarrod. I didn’t know. I spent the last 8 months in a work camp.”

The sharp intake of breath was followed by such a typical Jarrod question that it broke Heath’s heart. “My God Heath, are you okay?”

Heath shook his head and blinked back tears. He was glad the room was dark but for the moonlight cascading through the window. Here was a man tied to his bed in restraints asking if he was okay. Some things never changed, Jarrod was one of them. “Yeah, it was actually okay. Run by a man with no axe to grind. Stern but fair. Not a cruel man like…”

“Bentell.” Jarrod finished it for him, saving him the need to say the hated word. He started pulling against the restraints, agitated.

“Calm down Jarrod, calm down. Why are you doing this to yourself Jarrod?”

In the dark he could see the bound man shrug his shoulders, heard the tears in his voice.

“Someone has to.”

“What?”

“Atone.”

“You okay Pappy?” The voice from the doorway was concerned.

“I told you not to call me that!” His transformation to anger was instantaneous. He started struggling against the restraints anew. Nick cursed himself for the slip. Pappy had refused the term of endearment from the day Heath had left the ranch. For a minute he’d forgotten and slipped back into the past. It had been the sound of his two brother’s voices that had done it.

Heath bent down to whisper in his ear “Shhh, quiet Jarrod, quiet down. Go to sleep.” He rubbed the older man’s shoulder in a gentle rhythm and waited as the breathing evened out and eventually slowed.

Rising to take his leave he turned to find the other man still propped against the doorframe. “Work camp, huh?”

“Yeah, seems my temper was a might out of control.” Nick just shook his head.

Dawn found them in the yard, Heath with his horse saddled and ready to leave. Nick’s resigned acceptance of his departure deepened the sense of dread lodged in his heart. He would have given anything for even a glimpse of the famous Nick Barkley temper. He needed to hurry, very soon there would be nothing left here.

Somewhere in the night he’d stopped lying to himself. Hard as he tried he’d never been able to stop caring. Whatever they’d done, however well meaning but misguided their efforts, they had acted in what they thought was his best interest. He could hate what they’d asked of him, hate what they’d put him through, but he just couldn’t bring himself to hate them.

Taking in the saddle bags and bedroll, Nick bid his younger brother farewell. “It was good ta see ya again Heath. Take care of yourself.”

“You’re not rid of me that easily Nick.” His lop-sided grin flashed for just a second. “I’m goin’ after Audra.”

Dare he hope? Nick clamped down on his reaction. Why would Heath be able to do what a dozen Pinkerton agents and Federal Marshals hadn’t?

Riding past the barn, he slowed as Duke stepped out of the shadows. “Is this ‘Goodbye’?”

“More like ‘See ya’.”

“Where you off to boy?”

“Gonna find my sister.”

Duke smiled up at him, “Good luck son.” He glanced at the back retreating into the main house. “Don’t be too long.”

Chapter 5

Heath swore silently to himself. His arm was throbbing and he wasn’t at all sure how he was going to manage this. Audra was in the convent. That much he knew. And he was pretty sure the good Sisters wouldn’t give him away once he got there. The problem was, he’d been spotted and now the place was swarming with Alvarado’s men. From the looks of it he didn’t have much time. The men who had just arrived were outfitted for traveling. He had a feeling they would be moving his sister even further from civilization, deeper in the mountains south of the border, as soon as she could be readied to travel.

A flurry of raised voices caught his attention as he watched from the nearby copse. His command of Spanish served him well.

“She is not well enough to travel! It will kill her!”

“Then she will die! I have my orders to move her today. Maybe you want to tell Senor Alvarado that you changed his orders!” The man in charge was big and burly, but somehow easily cowed by the stern faced nun in her imposing religious garb.

“You go get him and I will tell him just that!” The man groaned.

“Mother Superior, what am I to do? I have my orders. He will not be disobeyed.”

“And how happy will he be if you kill his plaything before he has the chance to have his fun?” The nun’s face was grim. She wasn’t certain that keeping this beautiful young girl alive was doing her any favors.

What if we take her in the wagon? Will that help? And you can send along someone to care for her.” He looked at her hopefully.

“You must promise to send back my charge before you reach the house. Send her back with a man you can trust.” She peered at him stonily.

He nodded his head. It was a compromise that they could both live with.

Heath scuttled around to the back wall of the convent scouting for a way to sneak in. Alvarado’s men would not be allowed on the convent grounds. The good Sisters would prepare the wagon. With his mind focused on the structure in front of him he didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind him. One hand covered his mouth while and other pointed a gun in his back. When he heard the hammer of the pistol cock he stopped his struggles.

“Just answer my questions with your head. Do you understand me?”

He nodded. “Good you speak Spanish.”

“You are here for the girl?”

Again he nodded.

“Are you family?”

A third nod.

“I am going to release your mouth. Speak quietly or I will shoot you and tell them you were trying to rape me.” His eyes widened in surprise. These sisters, for he supposed that was who she was, were not to be trifled with.

“Heath, Heath Barkley.”

This time it was the Sister’s turn to be surprised. “She told me you had left, that you hated them. Why would you be the one to come?”

“She was partly right, I did leave. But I discovered that it’s hard to hate people who love you..”

“Down!, Shh!”

They both crouched, barely breathing as footsteps approached the tangle of bushes and brambles that hid them.

“Hurry up and do what you have to. The sooner we get back the sooner we can leave for the hacienda.”

“Don’t be in such a hurry, they still have to get the wagon ready for the girl. Now that Alvarado is back from California he wants the second part of his payment.” The voice chuckled and his companion joined in. “Do you suppose we will get what’s left over?”

“Don’t be a fool, she is high born. After he’s done with her he will sell her to one of his trafficers. I hear there are places were they pay a fortune for golden-haired women with blue eyes.” The voices faded as they moved back towards the front of the convent.

A restraining hand kept him crouched in the bushes as the woman’s voice whispered in his hear. “Stay calm Senor Barkley, save your anger for the trip ahead. Getting caught now will not help your sister.”

Chapter 6

Breathing deeply he did as she said, she was right. He needed to think, not react. He turned to look at the face that belonged to the voice. It was hard to tell age, but she appeared to be a little older than he was.

“I will make my way back around the front and enter the convent. There is a door just around the corner there. Wait until you see it open the come inside quickly. Mother Superior will delay as long as she can.”

“Wait, before you go. How is my sister?”

She looked at him for a minute, the concern and love in his eyes warmed her heart. She is fine Senor. As soon as we received word that someone was here asking for her we began to plan for a way to get her to you.”

“But she’s sick.”

“No, she is taking an herb that makes her appear sick. When it wears off she will be quite fine.”

Fifteen minutes later Heath was inside the convent, hidden in the dark recesses of the barn.

“Senor Barkley, this is Sister Bernard, our Mother Superior.”

He took her hand. “Sister, I want to thank you for what you are doing.”

“Nonsense, it is what must be done.”

“What is your plan?”

“There is food and water and traveling clothes for her under the straw in the wagon. It is good and thick so it is well hidden. You must hide in the straw and wait for night to fall. Your sister will be over the effect of the drug by then. And the guards will have eaten the cookies that they stole from our kitchen.”

Heath looked at her with raised eyebrows. “It is a game. We bake on a hearth outside the convent walls to feed the school children. When Senor Alvarado’s men come, we bake extra that somehow make it into the supplies for dinner. Today those extra cookies have a special ingredient. The guards will sleep very soundly and feel very refreshed come morning.”

She smiled at him. “Wake your sister and sneak out of camp. There will be horses hidden by a stream about a mile down hill from the road. Follow the stream up hill, it will take you away from the road and through some very rough country. They will not think you would go that way. Once you have crossed the first set of hills, look northward and ride towards the Table of the Gods. At it’s base you will come to a river. Follow it upstream, around the mountain and through God’s Pillars. From there head straight north. You will only be a few miles from the border. There is a town just across the border. The Commandante there can be trusted. He will protect you until you can move further from the border.

“Won’t they know your horses are missing?”

“Senor Barkley, you are ‘borrowing’ Emilio Morrow’s horses. Emilio is one of Senor Alvarado’s most trusted Lieutenants and he just happens to live in the opposite direction that you are heading.”

“One other thing. You must not reveal yourself to the novice who will be accompanying your sister. You must hit her over the head and knock her out. They will be close enough to the convent that they will bring her back here, where I can protect her from Alvarado’s anger.”

Heath looked at her speculating. “You’ve done this before.”

She merely smiled. “Let me treat your arm, there is not much time now.”

Chapter 7

The hours spent in the hay were stifling. He’d spent the time reflecting on how he’d ended up here in the first place. Would things have been different if he’d never left? Maybe Audra wouldn’t have been out alone on the way back from the mission. Maybe he would have been able to use his dubious past acquaintances to pick up the thread of her kidnapping sooner. Jarrod might be the California Attorney General, Nick would still be rampaging around the ranch I full bellow and Mother, she would still have that sparkle in her eye.

Heath had left the ranch and gone to the Pinkerton’s office in San Francisco. Nick wired permission for him to read the files. Everything pointed to John Castleman as the focal point. He was Jarrod’s opponent in the race for Attorney General and firmly in the pocket of the most corrupt machine to have operated in California politics since the railroads had crossed the plains. But there had been no evidence and Castleman had come out vocally against whoever had kidnapped Audra, even hinting he would withdraw as well.

Jarrod was charismatic, good-looking, and had a reputation as a man of honor. He was waging a winning campaign and it had the fat cats worried. Killing him would have been easier, but probably would have spurred his replacement on to victory. No, the idea was to get Jarrod to quit the campaign. So the plot had been hatched to kidnap Audra. But Castleman wasn’t ruthless enough a man to pull this off. Heath knew there had to be someone else running things.

“If you’re gonna do this John, you’d better get rid of her fast. They aren’t gonna let this go by quietly.”

Richard Dreyer, industrialist, philanthropist and one of the biggest trafficers of opium on the west coast, was sitting in his study, contemplating how to play what Castleman was suggesting. He had much to lose if Jarrod Barkley was elected. The plan was workable, but needed some modifications. “Let me contact a friend of mine south of the border. He just might be the man to watch over your package for a few days or weeks.”

Castleman had never intended for Audra to remain in Mexico. But once Jarrod quit the race, Dreyer had suggested holding on to her as leverage to keep Barkley quiet until the election was over.

“John, what’s to stop him from rejoining the race and announcing what happened to the world?”

It had seemed reasonable at the time. Two months into his term, he had finally realized that Audra was never going to be released. As long as Dreyer held onto her he not only had total control over Castleman, but he could also watch the Barkley family self-destruct, a process that was giving him great pleasure.

Heath spent a week on the waterfront listening and talking to old contacts who knew him from another life and by another name. What he had learned alarmed him but didn’t surprise him. He had a good idea what had happened to his sister, and if the rumors were right, he had precious little time to do anything to help her. One name kept popping up. Javier Alvarado. He’d been a bit player years ago, when Heath worked the waterfront. Now he’d risen to prominence with his fingers in a variety of activities from smuggling and opium to white slavery.

Chapter 8

Heath thought back over his visit to John Castleman. It had been had been quite informative and he hoped his family never learned of the lengths he’d gone to persuading the man to talk. Unfettered by the legalities that Pinkerton and the Marshals had to observe, it occurred in the wee hours of the morning, unannounced, and at knife point. Heath’s threat to geld the man if he didn’t write out a confession naming names had helped it along. Armed with the knowledge from the docks, he was certain he had gotten the truth.

At first Castleman hadn’t believed him. “You wouldn’t. You’ll never get away with it!” The frightened man had tried to bluff the bearded, rugged stranger standing over him.

“Well, I’ll give ya credit mister, ya do have brass ones. Now look at me. “He grabbed the chin and held it tightly. “I’ll do it and I’ll deliver your balls to the others as a warning about what’s going to happen to them for their part in this. I’ve been to prison and survived it, I can do it again.” He pressed the knife to the skin on his throat and reached down to clamp down painfully. “What do you think will happen to you in there without these? You’ll go and become some bull’s plaything for however long they let you live.”

He tied Castleman’s hands behind his back, stripped his sleeping pants and held the knife to his groin running the tip down the inside of his thigh. “Do I make my point?” He drew a trace of blood just for emphasis.

The confession was safely stowed at the Pinkerton office and Castleman, still intact but decidedly terrified, had been taken to wait at an undisclosed location. With the evidence in hand it hadn’t been hard to convince him that his former associates would have no problem with cutting their losses by whatever measures they could. Suddenly hiding out under the care of the Pinkertons and the Barkleys, waiting to give evidence, seemed the better alternative. The note left for his secretary said he had been called to Sacramento unexpectedly and would be gone for several days.

It had barely given Heath the time he needed to travel south and locate the remote village where Audra was being held captive.

The wagon stopped moving jogging him back to the present. It was with relief that the finally saw the daylight light beginning to dim as it filtered through the hay.

“We make camp up ahead, in the clearing.” The burly soldier in charge of the group had kept them traveling as late as he dared. The roads were rough and not to be trusted after dark.

“Tie and gag them both for the night.” One of the guards climbed in the wagon and bound both girls to the supports by the wrists. “Buenas Noches, Senoritas.” He ignored the younger girl but took the opportunity run his hands over Audra. Dressed in peasant garb, he had easy access to her and slipped his hands inside her blouse, fondling her breasts.

Audra tried to hide her fear but didn't succeed. The man could see it in her eyes and it made him bolder.

Remembering the conversation from earlier in the day he smiled. “Perhaps I will try a taste of what Senor Alvarado is saving for himself, eh?” She felt his hand snake its way under her skirt and up her thigh.

Unable to move or shout all Audra could do was shut her eyes. Beneath the hay, Heath was in a panic, needing to find a way to help his sister without ruining their chances for escape. He was at the point of revealing himself when the silence was shattered by a gunshot and a weight dropped across her body.

“Let that be a lesson to the rest of you!” It was the leader of the band and he had the entire company’s attention. “He’s lucky I shot him. The next one of you who touches her I will give to Senor Alvarado to deal with.”

Chapter 9

Heath exhaled and tried to calm the fierce shaking that had overtaken him. He waited until the only sounds were those of the night.

As he waited his mind drifted back over the events of the last few days.

For once looking like Tom Barkley’s son hadn’t been to his advantage. Blue-eyed blonds weren’t common place in Mexico, especially in the hills. He stuck out. He was tan enough from his work at the ranch not to be obvious, but his hair and eyes, well, there was no helping them. If he’d ever needed Nick it was now. He’d exchanged his working clothes for peasant rags and he’d done his best to darken his hair and cover himself in dirt It had helped so long as he hung on the fringes of gatherings, in shadows, listening.

Lucky for him, listening was something he was good at. Nick sure would have been a liability in that area, though with all that was at stake, he would have forced himself to. Nick was capable of tremendous self-discipline when he needed to be. You only had to look at him running the ranch to know that.

The ranch. He sighed. Would Nick really sell it? Well, he’d at least managed to put it off by not leaving him the Power-of-Attorney. It hurt to know that Nick would go so far as to sell the ranch to help Mother and Jarrod, but had just walked away from Heath over their Bentell plan.

Stop it! Wallowing in self-pity isn’t gonna help you now Heath Barkley! What would help now would be an army of ranch hands riding over the hill to the rescue. Dream on

He shifted and his arm started throbbing again, a reminder that finding Audra’s location hadn’t been easy. His one asset had been Jose Maldonado. Jose had a hated of Alvarado that rivaled his own. The young man had lost everything to one of Alvarado’s rages. The banditos had come and set fire to the village in the night, all because they were too poor to pay the tribute the big man demanded. Jose had been too restless to sleep that night and had left the stifling hut he shared with his family. It was the only thing that had kept him from burning to death or being shot with the rest of his village.

The example was still whispered about locally. Alvarado had made his point. The bandit leader new Jose had survived, but deemed it better to let him live. It would be harder for others to forget the lesson if Jose was there as a constant reminder.

When rumors of the blond girl at the convent began to circulate Jose stored them away. Information was valuable. Eventually he’d left remote backwoods village and gone to work in a nearby border town. He’d almost given up on the value of his knowledge when more rumors reached him. An Americano man was asking lots of questions and Alvarado was coming home. They had to be related.

He tracked down the stranger who was very good at remaining invisible. Jose watched him for two days trying to make up his mind.

Heath was aware of the scrutiny, but not of the purpose. It was risky, but he was becoming increasingly desperate for information and decided that the watcher might be his only chance. Slipping, ghost-like, into an alleyway, he lured the young Mexican after him. The boy stepped into the darkened passage and stopped, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Too late he realized his mistake. The knife at his throat made it clear that the watched had also been the watcher.

“You and I are going to have a talk.”

Silence.

“You have information I need. Give it to me and I will let you live.”

Jose gambled. “You come for the girl.”

The statement surprised Heath and gave Jose the split second of advantage he needed and moved with the speed of a manchild forced to survive on the streets. Seconds later it was Heath on the ground, a knee across his the back of his neck and bleeding from a gash on his arm. Jose tied his hands behind him.

“Now you and I will talk.” He led him through back alleys to a nondescript hut.

With the knife at his throat, Heath had little choice but to answer Jose’s questions. The blade had already drawn blood once and he didn’t have the energy to fight.

“Who is she?”

“My little sister.” Jose looked the man over and judged this could be true. From what he’d heard they had similar coloring. Besides, he was good at reading eyes and the man’s told him it was true.

“How does she come to be here?”

“Alvarado holds her for a rich American who would see my family destroyed.” Heath told him briefly about the election.

All of the pain and loss of that night two years ago came rushing back and the Mexican lashed out with a brutal backhand that drew blood. “You should have taken better care of her, Senor.”

Heath weighed whether to answer or not. This man wasn’t as easy as most to read. Judging that he had little to lose, he nodded “I know.”

Old eyes in a young face bored into him. “Tell me about your family!”

“My brothers, my sister, our Mother...”

“Where is your Father?”

“Dead. Killed by the Railroads when he wouldn’t let them take our neighbors’ land.”

Jose moved to the other side of the small room, into the shadows and sat on his haunches to think. Heath watched, knowing that whatever deliberation was going on in the man’s mind, it would decide his entire family’s fate.

The minutes slid by. Voices in the street rose and fell, the sound of late night arguments and camaraderie. A dog barked until someone kicked it to silence. The sound of music from some nearby cantina drifted through the rude window.

Still Heath waited while the silent unmoving man waged whatever private war was being fought in his mind and heart. Without any sign from one moment to the next it was decided. He uncoiled and rose from the crouch, knife poised to strike. The blade arced downward before Heath could react, slicing the leather thongs that bound his wrists.

In the next moment the knife was handed back to him. “You will rest tonight, then I will take you to where they are keeping her.” The eyes that looked in his were filled with incomprehensible sadness. “I will need to take care of your arm.”

It had taken the better part of their three days on the road for Heath to pry the story behind his sudden cooperation out of the young man. In the end, he’d refused to let Jose help with the rescue.

“I won’t risk the last of your family to Alvarado.”

“I have no more family Senor Heath.”

“But you will someday. Bring them to Stockton when you do. There will always be a place for you with my family.”

“I can help you with this. Please, let me honor the memory of my parents by helping you!”

Heath thought it over. Seeing the determination on the other man’s face and how much it meant to him, he relented. Alright Jose, but you do what I say, agreed?

“Agreed Heath.”

Not long after he waited until the young man’s back was turned, he hit him over the head leaving him carefully tucked away where he could be freed later.

“You already honor your family, Jose.”

He made his way to the Convent of the Holy Sorrows.

Chapter 10

The night music had been undisturbed long enough.

Burrowing out of the hay he clamped a hand over the sleeping novice’s mouth and nose, holding on only long enough to make her pass out. Then he quietly apologized before hitting her over the head with his gun.

Fortunately, the gags had stifled both prisoners’ shock at his appearance from out of nowhere.

“You always were a pushover.” They were the first words she uttered when she could speak again, whispered by lips held close to his ear. The depth of relief and love that Heath saw in her blue eyes matched what he was feeling.

“Must be, I’m here, ain’t I?” He grinned at her and cut the ropes holding her wrists.

“I’m awful sorry about earlier, Honey. Did he….?” He held her close and kissed the top of her head.

“Shhh. Don’t think about it. It’s over and nothing happened.” He could smell the tang of blood on the straw, see where the flies were crawling over the stains. It wasn’t nothing, but they’d deal with it later, for now they needed to get away. Heath marveled at what a strong woman she had grown into. The Audra he’d known a year ago would have fallen apart. He hoped that the rest of her captivity had been gentler.

“You’d better change into these, we need to get going. Any idea where he posted guards.”

“There are only three, one by the road at either end of the clearing and one by the fire. No one is expecting trouble.”

“Not bad for a little princess.” He flashed her one of his lop-sided grins.

“You’ll pay for that.” She punched his arm lightly and hoped she’d get to keep the promise. So did he. They both knew that this was just the beginning of a dangerous journey.

Moving silently, Heath and Audra inched towards the open end of the wagon and waited. After what seemed like hours the moon finally disappeared behind the scudding clouds and they stole off into the woods back towards the town they’d left that afternoon, Stopping only to brush off the hay that clung to them, they left their trace for the pursuers to find, then doubled back.

Circling around the camp, Heath angled them downhill until he could hear the splashing of water running over rocks.

They headed up stream, walking in the water to leave no tracks. The fickle moonlight made it hard, and both would have missed the horses hidden in the undergrowth if it hadn’t been for the sudden break through of the moon.

The horses fared no better in the stream and it was slow going. Their mounts kept trying to head for dry land, and Heath was tempted to indulge them. It would be easier to make good time. But his intuition told him that the Sisters were better judges of how to escape Javier Alvarado than he was so he held to the water as they’d suggested and pushed on, beyond exhaustion. Once across the ridge line, the stream disappeared. The travel was faster but they still stuck to cover.

Alvarado’s men rampaged through the countryside. Heath and Audra stuck to the trees as much as they could, traveling at dusk and dawn and sheltering during the daylight hours when they would be easily spotted. Their meals were eaten cold more often than not, and the fare was meager. They huddled together at night for warmth. Despite the privations, both enjoyed the time together. In years to come they would often reminisce about the long quiet talks that had cemented their relationship and deepened their understanding of the special bond that the Barkleys shared.

They traveled through the first night, wanting to put as much distance behind them as possible. By the time Heath pulled them to a halt at mid morning horses and riders were equally bone weary.

“Heath?”

“You should be sleeping Sis.”

"I can’t.” She shifted onto her side and moved closer to him, shivering. The day was warm, all the fear of the last six months was finally catching up with her. Strong arms wrapped around her and held her tight. “I got ya Sis.”

“I was so afraid no one was going to come…”

“I know.”

“The longer I was there, I thought you had all given up on me.”

“You should know better than that, Audra Barkley.” He chided her.

“I kept hoping and hoping. I expected to see Nick or Jarrod, kept praying every day that they would ride in and rescue me." She was crying quietly, talking is fits and starts between the sobs. “And then they said that Alvarado was coming back for me….” She shivered again, knowing what would have happened. “I would have killed myself Heath. I would have found a way before I let him do that to me.” He placed his cheek against the top of her head as she buried it against his chest. “Shhhh, shhhhh, it’s over now.” He was crying too.

“I won’t go back with them if they catch us. Promise me Heath, you won’t let them take me back. I’d rather die.”

“Audra, it ain’t gonna happen. I won’t let it.” His heart was filled with a fierce protectiveness, he would keep her safe if it took his last ounce of courage and strength. He would get her back to the family that loved her so that they could become whole again.

He hugged her tighter and she fell into a fitful sleep.

Readying the horse to travel again as the sun slipped lower in the sky, Audra asked the question that had been troubling her since their escape. “Heath, where are Jarrod and Nick? How is it that you’re here?”

With that, Heath began the long explanation of what had transpired in the weeks and months that she’d been missing.

As time went by Alvarado widened his search. They began to see patrols on the roads as they approached the border. The final night, they found themselves hunkered down in the rocks above the border garrison of Suarez.

“Looks like we’re almost there Sis.”

It had been a good ten days, with lots of time to talk and enjoy each other’s company, but they’d avoided the one subject that they needed to talk about most, the one that would set the tone for the future of their relationship.

“It hurt when you left.”

“I know Sis. You were the last one I wanted to hurt. But I just couldn’t stay. I tried it their way and it just wasn’t gonna work.”

“We fired Bentell shortly after you left.”

“Why?”

“Because even though it was too little too late, it was what we needed to do.”

“Why are you including yourself in that?”

“I could have stood up to them, could have forced them to see what they were doing to you.”

He shook his head and smiled at her. “Boy Howdy, you do take a lot on yourself. They’re all adults Audra, they shoulda been able to see for themselves.”

“I know it doesn’t count for much, but we never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, you know what they say about the road to Hell.” His words were bitter.

“Oh Heath, I wish we could find a way to show you how much we regret that decision.”

When the silence between them had stretched on too long, she broke it. “What did you do when you left?” She asked it casually but he know she was worried about him, and rightfully so. She knew the depth of the pain he’d been feeling.

He pulled her closer. “I was kinda angry, did a lotta drinking and fighting.”

“Oh Heath! No. You were always so patient and good about walking away from a fight. Why?”

“I’d ended up back outside Spanish Camp, wantin’ to be a Deputy again. But I was too wild. Sam finally had me arrested and thrown in a work camp for seven months.” Too her surprise, he was grinning.

“Oh Heath, no not prison!”

“Well, not really, Sam was real careful. Made sure I ended up in his neck of the woods. The judge and the fellow runnin’ the place were good friends of his. I think they had a deal about workin’ me hard so’s I could get rid of the mad I was carrying around. If I didn’t know better I’d say he set the whole thing up. Probably could have walked out of there any time, but I stuck it out.”

“Sam sounds pretty smart.”

“That he is. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out there’s no record of my being arrested or sentenced.”

“Is that why it took you so long to come?

“Uh huh. I didn’t know what had happened until I got back to Spanish Camp. Saw the headline in an old newspaper in the kindling box.”

Chapter 11

The next afternoon’s conversation was more painful. Heath felt the need to fill her in on what had happened to the family in her absence.

“Poor Jarrod.” She had cried most of the night for her lost siblings and mother. Trying to imagine Nick without his fire, her mother detached, just going through the motions of daily life was hard enough. Hearing about her beloved oldest brother and his descent into self-destructive guilt was too much to bear.

“Heath, how am I going to convince him this wasn’t his fault! What are we supposed to do, live our lives in constant fear of what could happen?”

“Audra, honey, we’ll do our best to make it right when we get back. I promise.”

“We? You’re coming back to the ranch?”

He shrugged. “Gotta be a ranch to come back to.”

Her eyes were alarmed, “What do you mean?”

“Nick was talking about selling and taking them back East, someplace where there are no memories.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Would you come back?” She was afraid of his answer.

“Yeah, if y’all are willin’ to have me. I missed ya’ somethin’ awful in spite of tryin’ to tell myself I didn’t.”

She hugged him then, and they curled up together for warmth in the cool of the night. “Just you try and get away again big brother.”

“Nick wasn’t any too pleased to see me, honey. Don’t get your hopes up.”

They ate the last of the food they’d been carrying, along with some berries Audra had picked along the way.

“Look down there Audra.” He pointed to a dust cloud traveling up the road. Over the next hour several small herds of sheep arrived outside the town.

“Must be market day.”

Alvarado’s men had been paroling the approaches to the town for two days. Until now there had been no hope of getting past them. Suddenly Heath had an idea. “Get the sheepskin off your horse and follow me.”

“What are you thinking Heath?”

“Can you say ‘Baa’?” He gave her that lazy half-smile of his and her eyes widened to saucers.

“No way! You’re crazy!” He was about to argue with her when the glint in her eye caught his attention. “Nick will never let us live this down.”

“I won’t tell him if you don’t Sis.”

They grabbed the sheepskins that had served as saddle blankets, wrapped them around their shoulders and headed down the short incline to await the approaching dusk.

The herds were bedding down for the night. “We’re gonna work our way in a little and stay down. We’ll have the whole night to inch closer to the gate. Just in case, keep your eyes open and meet me inside at the Sheriff’s office if we get separated.”

It was a good plan as far as he’d thought it out. But they were left with a hundred feet to cover between the herd and the gate, and the patrols were constant. The night slipped away Heath realized that the covering darkness would be gone in another hour or so. He needed a plan and he needed one now.

“Audra, get ready to run.” He nudged her in the side, making sure she was awake.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m gonna start a stampede.”

“Heath!...”

“Just do as I say and run for the gate when all Hell breaks loose.”

Heath started to mill around in the herd, unsettling them. Most folks thought sheep were pretty harmless, but get enough of them riled and running in the same direction and they could be just as dangerous as cattle. He hoped Audra was paying attention.

Finding a couple of lambs, he grabbed them and took them from their mothers. The plaintive bleating roused not only the rest of the herd, but the peasants as well. It was still too dark to see, but Heath herd comments of “lobo” and smiled. It was time for his best imitation of a wolf. The sheep weren’t fooled, but the shepherds were and soon there were cries of “wolf” echoing across the field. At that point Heath went for broke and shot into the air. The milling animals took off in running straight for the adobe wall of the town. Hunched over and wearing the sheepskins, Heath and Audra followed suit. They were almost there when one of the Mexican banditos spotted them and shouted to his compadres.

The dust and darkness made it hard for any but the nearest of the guards to see them as they ran. Damn! It almost worked! He crouched among the running animals and took aim, hitting the man bearing down on Audra, giving her the extra time she needed to make it to safety.

“Heath!” She stopped running when she heard the gunfire behind her. It was only momentum that carried her through the archway into the waiting arms of the soldiers who had gathered at the first signs of commotion.

Seeing their quarry make it to safety, one of the other Mexicans roared and wheeled around bearing down on Heath with his horse. His first shot hit the cowboy in the injured arm, the second in his shoulder.

Heath reacted instinctively, not thinking about the odds of success. With only two bullets left there was going to be one chance. He ran to his left, angling directly toward the gate then wheeled and stood his ground until the last instant. He emptied the gun into the man who was bearing down on him then tossed it aside. In the next breath he grabbed the stirrup of the galloping horse with his good arm as the animal ran full tilt towards the gate of the town.

Chapter 12

“Does your brother always make such dramatic entrances, Miss Barkley?

“Why yes, as a matter of fact. You should have seen his introduction to the family.”

Smiling at the puzzled look on the Major’s face, she simply said “I’ll explain later.”

“You’re givin’ me a bad name Sis.”

“Well look who decided to join us.” She kissed his forehead.

“Doesn’t this family know any other greeting?”

She furrowed her brow in puzzlement but decided to let it pass. “How are you feeling?”

“A mite battered, but okay.”

“Well you’ll have some time to rest. You’re not going anywhere until the reinforcements from Dawson arrive. By the way, I’m Major Matthews.” He held out his hand to the cowboy.

“Pleased to meet ya’. Don’t be takin’ this the wrong way, Major, but we have some important business up north and need to be leaving right away.”

“No offense taken, Mr. Barkley,” he smiled at the young man, “But right now it would be rather dangerous for you to try to leave. I’ve sent for reinforcements who should be here by the tomorrow evening. They’ll escort you to the nearest town with a rail connection. In the meantime I’d suggest you both rest.

They’d traveled nonstop by rail for three days, making good connections. Both were anxious to get home, but at the same time afraid of what they might find. For the first time in years, Heath found himself praying. Lord please help me to make it right.

The buggy raised a cloud of dust that could be seen for a good mile. Nick wasn’t expecting anyone, no one came to visit anymore unannounced. He stood in the stirrups looking down from the hill just behind the house, trying to get a better view of the visitors.

Suddenly, two blond heads could be made out and his heart started to pound. It was all he could do to hold back until he was certain. Duke looked up from his spot on the corral fence at the first whoop thinking there was trouble. But this was Nick yelling for joy and racing toward the carriage in the distance.

“What’s that all about boss?”

“If I don’t miss my guess, things are gonna be looking up around here.” He headed for the barn calling for Ciego.

Heath pulled the surrey to a stop and they watched Nick’s flight of joy. Audra stepped down and away, holding her arms out the way she had when they’d been children. In a flurry of hooves she was there and then gone…lifted high then over the saddle, sitting in front of her brother, the two of them riding wild across the pasture, Nick’s arm around her waist and holding her to him like a lost piece of his heart.

Heath grinned and started the surrey up, continued on to meet the crowd that was gathering in the yard.

“You always did know how to make an entrance, Heath.” Duke took his hand the minute he was on the ground.

“So my sister says.”

“Your SISTER?”

“Yeah.” The red crept up his face. “This family is damned hard to get out of your system.”

“First smart thing you’ve said in a long time, son.” The ranch foreman clapped him on the shoulder and they waited for the two riders just entering the yard.

Chapter 13

Nick brought Coco to a halt and they slid off together, Ciego grabbing the reins. He touched the brim of his hat and blinked back tears. “Welcome home Senorita Audra, it is very good to see you.”

“Thank you Ciego, it’s good to see the faces of friends again.” She kissed him on the cheek.

“HmmHmmm, about time you got back Missy. Seems to me there’s a couple a strays around here that you promised you were gonna take care of!”

“Oh Duke, what an awful thing to say about my brothers!” The hands standing nearby snickered as Nick scowled for best effect.

She turned to Duke McCall and was in his arms engulfed in a bear hug. “It’s good to have you back little girl. Hattie and me missed you.” His voice was unusually gruff and the hands saw their foreman cry for the one and only time in memory.

“I missed you too Uncle Duke.”

While Audra was being greeted by those of the crew who knew her, Nick wheeled around and fixed Heath with a sharp “You!”

Heath looked down, suddenly unsure of whether he was welcome. A pair of black boots appeared in his line of sight. “Well, I’m talkin’ to you BOY!”

The blood drained from Heath’s face as he heard the hated form of address. Two years melted away and he was the same rootless soul that no one wanted soiling their good name. He turned to leave.

Nick had intended it as teasing but realized too late how fragile the moment was for his brother. He reached out and grabbed the retreating shoulder but was shrugged off.

“Heath, don’t. Don’t leave. I was teasing. You belong here.” The younger man turned and saw a much chastened Nick with his hat in his hand. “We need you here Heath, family just isn’t complete without you.”

“Sorry Nick, guess I’m just a might…touchy.”

“Maybe I should wire Sam to arrange another ‘camping trip’ for you.” His arm went around the shorter man’s shoulders and pulled him close. “Just see if you get away again little brother.” They walked back toward the crowd. Just out of earshot Nick turned and whispered in Heath’s ear “I’m sorry.”

The excited chattering around them died down. Fearing that others might have witnessed the scene between he and his brother, Heath looked at the faces and realized that they were focused elsewhere. Placing a hand on Audra’s shoulder, he turned her and hand-in-hand they walked in the direction of everyone’s gaze, through the crowd of men and up to the diminutive white haired lady standing on the porch of the mansion.

Victoria had come out to see what all the commotion was about. Looking into the sun, she blinked, then blinked again. Nick stood back and watched, as a cry of joy escaped his mother’s lips and she stared at the two faces that had haunted her dreams for months. Heath encircled both women in a collective hug as Victoria cried against his chest.

“Let’s go inside Mother.” He gently guided the still unbelieving woman through the door.

Nick followed behind and bellowed “SILAS” as loud as he could.

“Lord amercy Mister Nick, you don’t gotta be yellin’ that way get me ta’come…” The family retainer stopped in mid sentence and just stared at the two young people as though he was seeing a ghost…or a miracle.

“Howdy Silas.” Heath grinned and took the vase from the older man before his shaking hands lost their hold on it.

“Silas.”

“Oh Miss Audra, oh praise God, you be home safe. Child, this house has been so empty without you.” For only the second time in her life she saw him cry. The first had been at her Father’s funeral. Ignoring his usual decorum he swept the young woman into his arms and hugged her for all he was worth.

Oblivious to the crowd watching, she brushed a tear from his cheek and planted a tender kiss there then wrapped an arm around his waist and whispered in his ear.

“Oh you bet child..” He planted a kiss on her cheek and rushed off to the kitchen leaving Heath still holding the base of flowers.

“Hey Silas, what about these?”

“Oh you just puts them down anywheres Mr. Heath. I gotta make some ginger snaps.”

Heath just rolled his eyes and handed the vase to Nick. “Here, find a home for these.”

“Why me? Hey, Heath…”

“Oh for goodness sake. You two aren’t back together one hour and you’re already picking on each other.” It was hard for Victoria to sound annoyed while trying to smother a grin.

“Now Mother, that’s not fair! I didn’t start it!”

“Champagne and ginger snaps. Whatever would the society matrons of Stockton say?” Nick teased his sister and mother. They’d moved to the Billiard room for an impromptu celebration that included Duke and Hattie McCall.

“Makes a right tasty combination if you ask me.” Duke grinned across his boss while the women snickered as he dipped another cookie into his glass.

An hour later, Audra set down the glass of champagne she’d been sipping and asked

“Mother, where’s Jarrod?”

Victoria looked at Heath, who nodded. “He’s upstairs dear. Do you want to spend some time with him?”

“Yes please.”

“Just don’t be disappointed sweetheart.” The sadness in Victoria’s eyes returned.

Heath and Nick remained behind, pouring themselves something stronger than the celebratory champagne that had been opened.

With Audra and their Mother out of the room Nick was ill at ease with his brother. He started to speak a number of times but then seemed to think better of it.

Heath finally lost patience and chided him good-naturedly “Never thought I’d see you at a loss for words big brother.”

The last two words made him hold his breath as he searched Heath’s face for meaning.

As the silence between them stretched on, Nick finally said the two words that he’d been needing to say since the day Heath had ridden in six weeks before.

“Heath…I...I’m sorry.”

The words were simple but in them Heath heard all of the anguish and regret that Nick would never be able to express openly. And he heard another emotion as well, fear. Nick was afraid that they would lose him again. They had Audra back, but the family wouldn’t be complete without him as well.

He made his way over to the mantle where his brother stood staring into the fire and crying silently. Placing a hand on the leather clad shoulder, he looked into the flames as well. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere Nick.”

“He’s been having a good day today. Better than any in a long time. But honey, please understand, he’s a very different man than the one you remember.”

Audra searched her Mother’s face for some sign of what lay beyond the door to her brother’s bedroom.

“Why Mother, why this reaction?”

“He blames himself. If he hadn’t run for Attorney General, if he hadn’t been so tenacious in fighting corruption, if he hadn’t gone along with me on Bentell. You know how Jarrod is. He takes his role as head of the family seriously. He feels responsible for all the losses of this past year, like he’s failed everyone, hurt everyone by his failures. Guilt is an ugly weapon darling, and it’s one he’s using on himself.”

“Heath told me he’s been hurting himself.” Her voice choked with sorrow.

“Yes, he has. There are scars on his arms. You need to be prepared for that.”

“What should I do Mother?”

“I think all you can do is just love him and hope that time will do the rest.” She left her daughter at the door and returned downstairs. Passing the closed Study door, she decided that maybe she’d let that conversation run its course as well.

“Silas, let’s see about dinner.”

“Yes M’am, Mrs. Barkley. It’s nice to have you back.

“Don’t you mean them, Silas?”

“That too Mrs. Barkley.”

Audra knocked on the bedroom door then let herself in.

Jarrod was seated in the armchair that provided a view of the pastures behind the house. He preferred this view to the corrals that were visible from his brothers’ windows. She stood for a moment and took in the changes. Here was her hero and second father. He was painfully thin, drawn and haggard. His sleeves were rolled up and she could see the ugly pink scars that covered his forearms. He sat so still that he could have been a mannequin.

Regaining her composure, she crossed over to him and quietly spoke his name.

“Jarrod?”

When there was no answer, she tried again, placing her hands on his face and turning him toward her. “Jarrod, it’s me, Audra, I’m home Jarrod, I’m home at last.”

Chapter 14

The transformation at the ranch since Heath and Audra’s return had been nothing short of miraculous. The only lingering sad note was Jarrod. Where Victoria, Nick and their friends felt as though they were waking from the dead, Jarrod still had not responded to his brother’s and sister’s homecoming. Victoria had spoken with Howard Merar about it and he was of the opinion that Jarrod knew, but wasn’t ready to trust the truth of it yet.

“You can’t expect miracles Victoria, The guilt and grief of the last year aren’t going to just vanish. He a brilliant man and his mind hasn’t stopped being brilliant just because of his emotional upheaval.”

“But why can’t he accept what he sees?”

“Victoria, could you believe it at first?’ He was patting her hand.

“No, no, I thought I was dreaming.”

“I’m sure he thinks that as well or that he’s seeing what he wants to see, not what’s missing. The thinking part of him isn’t willing to believe this is real yet. You’ll have to just give it time.”

“I’m sure you’re right Howard, it’s just so frustrating.” She walked the family friend to his buggy.

“Has there been any change in his behavior at all?”

“Well, he’s been eating better, but he still spends his days in his room, looking out at the pastures or reading.”

As if having a second thought she added, “He does stare at all of us a great deal though.”

Dinner that night was lively, full of good-natured teasing some of it even directed at Jarrod, though he didn’t respond. They had decided to act as though nothing was wrong, at least as far as possible. After dinner coffee was served in the Billiard room.

Jarrod headed silently to his room as was his habit, but then stopped at the top of the steps. The sound of laughter from the downstairs was drawing him. The voices down there, mingled and carefree, pulled at him causing a longing that he couldn’t control to rise up. The desire to be there…his memories stirred. He remembered being among them, laughing and sharing the close moments. He remembered feeling loved and secure. It seemed like lifetimes since he’d felt that way.

The desire to feel that love again overwhelmed him. The possibility that what lay through the open doorway was merely his imaginings terrified him. He made his way down the stairs and stood just outside the door, drinking in the sensations of warmth and belonging that those voices awoke in him. His heart was begging for it to be true, for the voices to belong to people who existed in that room, not just in his mind. He’d been living in his mind so much lately that he wasn’t sure what was real anymore.

Victoria startled when she saw him standing in the doorway. “Jarrod?” She spoke his name, not sure if she was being heard. “Jarrod, what is it darling?”

He walked to the billiard table and rolled one of the balls under his hand. It was such a typical Jarrod thing to do. He felt the smooth hardness under his hand and told himself This is real.

“Jarrod?…” Heath walked over to stand near him.

Jarrod looked at him with a fierce concentration as everyone in the room held their breath. His eyes shifted to Audra and pinned her with the same intense scrutiny. Finally his eyes fell to the billiard table and he rolled the ball he’d been playing with into a corner pocket.

“It’s…I’m…I.” The words simply stopped as though that had been the full thought.

“You’re really here? Both of you?” His heart raced and the blood roared in his ears as he sank to the floor. The shaking started as a small tremor in his hands and began to grow. “Please, I need to be alone. Please….leave me a...”

“No way Jarrod. Not alone, not again.” Heath sat beside him laying an arm around his shoulders, feeling the quaking in muscle and bone.

“Please!” He was desperate, losing control and afraid of what was coming.

“Heath’s right big brother, we’re not leaving.” Nick eyed his mother, who nodded.

“I think I’ll have my coffee on the verandah, it’s really quite lovely with the roses in bloom.” She picked up her cup and turned toward the French doors that lead outside. Catching Nick’s eye, she nodded in a wordless request to ‘Take care of him.’

Jarrod hugged his knees as the shaking became stronger. The room was already warm from the lingering heat of the day but he shook as if it were mid-winter, the spasms coming in waves. Heath sidled in closer taking his weight, lending support, speaking quietly in his ear. “Just let it come big brother, let it out. It needs out.”

Nick was at his other side, his hand keeping up a steady rhythm as he rubbed Jarrod’s back to relax him. Audra sat on the rug in front of him, her hand on his.

Eventually the tremors peaked, shaking the tired body with a bone rattling ferocity. The siblings held on then, supporting and protecting, waiting out the storm that tore through the man who had been their protector and guide. Now it was their turn, so they kept vigil until a change in the movement under their touch bespoke that shock had given way to grief. Still they sat as their Pappy cried out the loneliness and loss of the last few months. Eventually, that storm spent as well, the muscles under their hands relaxed and a companionable silence settled between them. Each followed a personal trail of thoughts, unaware of the startling similarity between them. What had been lost would be restored. There was still more work to do, but somehow, now, it seemed within reach.

As the long minutes ticked away, Jarrod finally looked up, meeting Heath’s gaze, smiling faintly. Released from the weight of his self-recriminations, he felt almost giddy. Though his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen they held some of the old sparkle that had been a fixture until recently. Flashing a lopsided grin, Heath held his breath, but then Jarrod lost his momentary lightness and turned to Nick.

“Brother Nick?”

“Yeah Pappy?” Nick wasn’t certain what to expect.

“Why are making us sit on the floor? My butt hurts.”

The look on Nick’s face was a once in a lifetime experience. Heath, Jarrod and Audra found themselves doubled over in uncontrollable laughter as the middle and most gullible brother sputtered his indignant outrage. Finally, the realization that Jarrod had made a joke struck him. In that moment his own laugh of sheer exaltation rang out.

Nick took a deep breath and snatched one of the pillows that decorated the furniture and threw it. “Well here Pappy, if your butt’s so sore USE THIS!”

That was all it took. The three men erupted in a raucous battle, flinging the multitude of tapestry and velvet pillows at one another, while Audra retreated to the billiard table, lobbing pillows from a safe distance.

Heath and Jarrod joined forces, ganging up on their middle brother. Nick managed to get the settee between himself and his attackers and returned blow for blow until Heath caught one of his arms and pulled him over. Almost helpless at the sight of Nick with his feet in the air Heat was fair game. Jarrod saw an opportunity, grabbed up the pillows within reach and began a merciless onslaught of his blond brother.

Outside Victoria smiled at the sounds coming from indoors then strolled around to the front of the house and headed inside.

Nick struggled to right himself, feet flailing, ending up on the floor in a heap. The sight set Heath and Audra to laughing even harder making it impossible for Heath to defend himself. Jarrod’s volley of overstuffed ammunition caught him open mouthed and toppled the blond onto his brother.

Victoria stood in the doorway, hand clamped across her mouth, shaking as she tried to stifle her own laughter. Jarrod dived in and the noise from the three men rolling on the floor, laughing and pummeling one another with pillows was the only thing that saved their mother from detection. She finally stepped quietly back from the doorway and crept upstairs, knowing that whatever else still needed to happen, things were finally on their way to getting better.

Jarrod was the first to tire. Dragging himself to the couch, gasping between belly laughs, he settled in and exalted in how good it felt to be himself. It felt….like being born again, like coming into the light after being alone in the dark for so long. Audra curled up next to him and lost herself in the warmth of his embrace.

While Heath joined him there Nick poured the three of them a whiskey and their sister a sherry. Handing the glasses around, he grinned at his big brother and made a toast, “To the four of us!”

It wasn’t long before Audra was asleep.

“You want me to carry her upstairs, Pappy?”

“No thanks Nick, it’s been too long since I’ve had her to spoil. It feels good.”

Heath looked over at his two siblings and chuckled. “You don’t look like your gonna last much longer yourself, big brother.”

Jarrod’s face sparked with joy at the words. Over the next few weeks they would all learn that he had become a much more open man with his feelings. “Have I thanked you properly for what you did Heath?”

“No need for that.”

Jarrod eyed him and he stifled a yawn.

“What? Don’t tell me you’re already bored with having me around?”

“No, just wondering how you’re going to react to what I have to say.”

Nick went from content to concerned. “Pappy, maybe we should leave things for another day.” He’d been enjoying the interplay between his brothers and didn’t want to see all the old problems dragged out so soon.

“Naw, it’s okay Nick. Let the lawyer say his peace. You know he’s just gonna badger us until he does.”

A pillow hit him mid chest.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry Heath. I know those words don’t even begin to come close to making up for what we put you through. I don’t know if or when you’ll ever trust us again the way we’d like you to. I know it doesn’t matter that we had what we thought were your best interests at heart. None of that matters. I was wrong, we were wrong, and we hurt you terribly, and even this silver tongued lawyer doesn’t have the words to make it up to you.”

Heath looked deep into the amber liquid that still sat in his glass. “Maybe Nick is right Jarrod, maybe this is a subject for another day.” He looked up and smiled at his oldest brother.

“Fair enough brother Heath.” He raised his glass and saluted the blond cowboy. “Thank you for bringing Audra home.”

“Here, here!” Nick raised his glass as well.

Heath came to with a start in the wee hours of the morning. All of them had fallen asleep there as they talked, Nick on the floor, Jarrod stretched out on the settee, and himself in the leather armchair. Audra must have awoken and wandered up to bed at some point. Nudging the body on the floor with the pointed toe of his boot, he dragged Nick upright and sent him out the door to bed. Bleary-eyed, he looked at Heath and mumbled “Welcome home little brother.”

Starting to wake Jarrod, Heath thought better of it. Who new the last time the man had gotten any real sleep? Moving the afghan from the back of the settee over the sleeping man, he grabbed another blanket from across the room and settled into to the armchair to keep watch.

“Welcome home big brother.”

THE END