Old Flames

Chapters 27-32

by Stacey256

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Chapter 27

As Heath could have predicted, Nick had groused for days after Heath had returned from San Francisco without Audra. His hazel-eyed brother had glared at Heath when he’d just said that there were still things that Audra needed to do in Frisco. Nick had grumbled again about everyone spoiling Audra, which Heath thought was interesting given how Nick had always been the worst for spoiling his little sister.

Heath had volunteered to meet Jarrod at the train station when he returned from Sacramento that following Wednesday. Of course, Nick had grumbled about that, too, saying that they could easily leave a horse for Jarrod at the livery. But Heath needed time to talk with Jarrod, to discuss what they were going to do. He had, of course, abided by Samantha’s wishes and had told neither Mother nor Nick about Samantha’s problems. He could appreciate that Peter’s wife didn’t want to worry anyone but the truth of the matter was that the list of those who knew was getting a lot longer than the list of those who didn’t know.

And he, of course, had said nothing about seeing Hester Converse.

Now, as he waited for Jarrod’s train to arrive, he tried to decide just how to approach things with his oldest brother. Jarrod had said nothing when he’d come back from San Francisco . . . other than to defend Audra’s actions. He knew that Jarrod was aware that Hester Converse was Adam’s “aunt.” His brother had mentioned meeting the woman and described her as being very “selfless.” Selfless would not have been a word that any of them would have used to describe the old Hester Converse. But, Audra was right, the woman had changed. You could see it in the way she worried about Samantha, in the way she mothered Adam, in the way she made over Tom, Nicky, and Lizzie V . . . and in the way she was pleasant with Peter, Barton, and himself but with none of the flirtatious overtones that were so much of the “old” Hester’s personality.

The train’s first whistle pulled him from his musings. He watched as the train pulled into the station; watched as the passengers began to disembark; waited until his dark-haired brother stepped from the passenger car. Across the platform, the two men exchanged a solemn look. Jarrod shifted his valise to his other hand and walked purposely toward his younger brother.

“Heath,” he extended his hand.

His brother shook the offered hand and replied tersely, “Jarrod.”

“How was your trip to San Francisco?” Jarrod figured they might as well take things head on.

“Interesting,” was the brusque reply.

“Let’s go down to my office to talk,” Jarrod pointed down the street and got a silent head nod from Heath. There was no reason to talk about family business on a public street.

They didn’t speak again until they were behind the closed door of Jarrod’s private office, each with a drink in his hand. “So, how are things in San Francisco?” Jarrod finally ventured.

“Pretty much the way you left them,” Heath sipped his drink. “Samantha’s still holding off having the baby; Peter says it’s just pure determination on her part. The doctor expects the baby to be born just any day . . . and it’s still way too early for it.”

“Staying in bed isn’t helping?” Jarrod frowned.

“Might have helped some but Thursday her pains started again. Doctor says it’s just a matter of time.”

“Damn,” but even swearing didn’t help the sick feeling in Jarrod’s stomach.

“I kinda expect that finding out about Samantha . . . and about Hester Converse . . . was the real reason you wanted me to take those papers to Frisco,” Heath said dryly.

“I promised Samantha and Peter that I wouldn’t tell anyone about what was happening, but that didn’t mean others couldn’t go to San Francisco and find out on their own,” Jarrod shrugged.

“Might have been nice if you had warned me a little.”

“That would have been telling,” Jarrod grinned.

Heath finally let a small lop-sided smile through. Yep, the lawyer could be sneaky when events required it. “So what do you figure we should do?” he finally asked.

“Other than pray?” Jarrod sighed. “I just don’t know, Heath. I wish we could tell Mother, so that she could go to be there with Samantha. You know Mother lost several babies . . . I think she would probably be the best one to console Samantha. But Samantha just keeps saying Mother should be able to focus on planning her only daughter’s wedding and not worrying about a ‘sickly’ daughter-in-law.”

“Sam’s not sickly,” Heath immediately protested. “Dang, she’s one of the healthiest people, I know. This isn’t her fault.”

“Peter’s told her that; I’ve told her that; Audra and Barton have told her that; Christiana, Hester, Becca have all told her. She just won’t believe any of us.”

“Pete’s real worried about her,” Heath felt a little guilty about betraying his brother’s confidence but, after all, this was Pappy. “We talked late Saturday night, out in the yard, after Sam and the children were asleep. Did you know . . . did he ever tell you . . . that he almost lost Sam when Nicky was born?”

Jarrod sucked in his breath. Peter had only told him that Nicky’s birth had been hard on Samantha . . . not that he had almost lost her. If that had happened, why in the world had they risked having Lizzie V. and now this baby?

Heath answered the unvoiced question, “Pete told me that Lizzie and this little one were Sam’s idea. She so wanted a little girl and then she so wanted Lizzie V. to have a little sister. She convinced Peter that Lizzie V. was an easy delivery for her . . . that she only had her early because of the long train trips . . . that the next baby would be even easier. You know Pete, he’ll do about anything to make Sam happy.”

Jarrod nodded his head; Peter adored Samantha. Well, he thought philosophically, the wisdom of conceiving another child was overcome by the reality of the impending arrival of that baby. All they could do was pray. He figured now was to the time to bring up the really touchy subject, “So, you found out that Hester Converse is the ‘aunt’ taking care of Tom and Nicky’s little friend.”

“Yep, she was there the day I got there, visiting with Sam and Audra and Christiana and Becca. I was pretty darn surprised, Jarrod. If you couldn’t tell me about Sam, then maybe you could have mentioned who Adam’s aunt was. I don’t think that Sam made you promise not to tell,” Heath leveled his blue eyes at his big brother; he wanted him to know just how unhappy he was with all the secrets.

“I considered telling you, but wasn’t sure you would even see Hester,” Jarrod shrugged. “I didn’t see a need to share my discovery with you. I thought it would just cause you pain.”

“What are we gonna do about Nick?”

Jarrod sighed deeply, “I don’t know, Heath. Samantha and Audra don’t think there’s any need to tell him about Hester . . . that Nick isn’t planning on visiting San Francisco any time soon, so he won’t be running into Hester. How do you think he would take it? Hester being friends with Samantha and Peter, a guest in their home?”

“Don’t have a clue. You can’t always know how Nick is going to react to something, especially something close to his heart.”

“Do you think we should maybe mention Hester to him, to see if he’s gotten over her? Maybe you could casually bring up her name and see how Nick reacts.”

“We don’t ever talk about her. He’d be real suspicious if I suddenly brought up her name.”

“Yeah, you’re right, of course. It’s just . . . ,” he left the thought unfinished.

“Yeah,” Heath agreed.

They stood silently for several moments, neither able to offer a reasonable approach to the “Hester problem.” Heath finally brought up another issue, “When I left, they were working on what they were going to do about Mother’s birthday.”

Jarrod closed his eyes and groaned. He had been avoiding thinking about this at all. It was sure to cause many, many problems, he knew instinctively.

“Pete’s gonna send Mother a letter that says he doesn’t want to risk taking Sam on a train, that he thinks that caused Lizzie V. to come a month early and he doesn’t want to risk the same thing happening with this baby,” Heath succinctly explained. “Audra and Barton are coming back with Gene. They may try to bring Lizzie V. but are afraid to bring the boys because they’ll spill the beans about Sam being stuck in bed. Audra’s planning on going back after Mother’s birthday celebration . . . that’s sure to cause some problems.”

“Yes,” Jarrod took a deep breath and then sipped his drink. “But she’s a comfort to Sam and a big help with the children. She needs to be there.”

“Of course, everything can change in a day,” the younger brother also took a sip of his drink. “Pete said he’d telegraph you and me, if something happens. That he’ll leave it to us to break the news to the rest of the family.”

“If?” Jarrod couldn’t keep the bitter edge out of his voice. “Don’t you mean ‘when’?”

“Sam really praying hard for this baby. She’s not ready to give up.”

Despite his worry, the corners of Jarrod’s mouth lifted in a soft smile, “No, she isn’t. She’s a very determined woman, isn’t she, brother Heath?”

“She’s a fine woman,” Heath added.

“Yes, she is.”

Having agreed on a course of action or rather of no action, the brothers finished their drinks in companionable silence. Jarrod quickly sorted through the mail stacked on his desk, delighted to find a letter from Christiana there. He had written her from Sacramento, just to let her know that he would be away from Stockton for a few days. Of course, he had added some details of the work he was doing, the hotel he was staying at, the people he had seen in the restaurants he had dined in. He suspected her letter told about Samantha and Peter’s latest scare but he hoped that she had written something about herself. He so enjoyed her descriptions of her work and her other activities. As he carefully slipped the envelope into his coat pocket, he smiled, already imaging the enjoyment he would have as he read her letter this evening.

Heath noticed the softness in Jarrod’s eyes and smile and wondered if it had anything to do with a woman. Audra had told him that Jarrod had had at least one lunch with Christiana and had escorted her home several times after dinner at Peter’s as well as the evening of the play. To Heath’s knowledge this was the first time that Jarrod had seen a woman socially since Beth’s death. It’d be really nice if something blossomed there, Heath thought. It was time that Jarrod started thinking about what could be instead of what might have been.

Of course, Heath scolded himself as the brothers rode toward the ranch, he was one to talk. For years he had let himself be pulled into dreams of what might have been had Maria chosen him over her father, what could be if she ever came back. Now that he had found out she was married to another man, had made her life with another, he hadn’t had those thoughts much. Now, however, he sometimes let himself wonder what it would be like if Becca Henderson wasn’t the daughter of such an important man, just maybe a dressmaker or shopgirl. He let himself imagine that there could be more to their relationship than friendly talks over his brother’s back wall. They had had another nice series of visits during his surprise trip to Pete and Sam’s. She had stopped on her way back to her house after the “hen party.” She had teased the little boys and then started chatting with Heath. He bet they had talked for over an hour before her mother called to her from their back door. The next morning Heath had taken Nicky and Tom back outside before he had to leave to catch his train. Becca had come out again. She had first discreetly asked Heath how Samantha was doing and, once assured that her friend was still all right, fell into talking with Heath again. He had happily responded to her; she was so easy to talk with. She’d asked him many questions about the ranch, what was going on. Surprisingly, she had also asked about Nick. He had sorta wondered about that. Maybe she was interested in his big brother, Heath thought, but she’d actually seemed disappointed when he told her that he was leaving that day. On the train trip back, he had thought about maybe trying to plan another, longer, trip soon. And, for a few minutes, he allowed himself to wonder how things might go between him and Becca if Judge Henderson wasn’t a judge, just maybe some plain shopkeeper or something.

Heath didn’t realize that he sighed or that the sigh caught his big brother’s attention. Jarrod wondered whether it was just Peter and Samantha’s predicament or something else entirely that put such a melancholy look on his younger brother’s face. Perhaps later he could quiz Heath and find out what caused the long sigh and look of longing. If he didn’t know better, Jarrod would have guessed it was a woman, but he could think of no woman that Heath was particularly interested in at this moment.

As they rode into the ranch yard, Nick’s loud shout pulled both brothers out of their deep thoughts. They exchanged a quick look. What the heck were they going to do about Nick and Hester?

Chapter 28

Nick Barkley, uncharacteristically, fumed silently. But Mother’s firm look had given him no leeway. It was her birthday and she obviously expected him to keep his comments to himself. How could she ignore Audra’s obvious disobedience? Mother wanted her to remain home, as had been their original plan, to prepare for the wedding, to spend time with the rest of the family at the ranch. But, no, Audra had insisted from almost the moment she crossed the threshold that she needed to go back to San Francisco “to finish up a few things.” Mother had seemingly accepted the statement with a nod of her head and proceeded to focus on enjoying her birthday.

Nick had to admit that it was a fine celebration. He could, actually, understand why Pete and Sam couldn’t come for the party. Sam had had Lizzie V. early probably due to a long train ride from San Francisco. Although it was disappointing, Pete was probably right to keep her off of trains until the newest baby arrived. And it was certainly not fair to Sam and it was probably not a good idea for Pete to leave her by herself albeit she had a house full of servants to look after her. But he couldn’t understand why they hadn’t sent Tom and Nicky with Audra and Bart and Gene. Oh, it was wonderful to see little Lizzie V.; she was acting like such a big girl, stringing words together to make two- and three-word sentences and showing off her manners. But it would have been nice to have the two boys here. Shoot, they hadn’t been back to the ranch since Christmas time.

Nick had known that when Peter and his family moved to San Francisco that his little brother would, of course, be kept busy with his bank, but he had expected (and rightfully so in his mind) very frequent visits by them all. Heck, Jarrod had an office in San Francisco and spent time at the state capital, but he was home often enough that he still felt like part of the family. When Peter had announced that he was moving his family west, Nick had imagined how it would be, lots of visits, him getting to take his two nephews riding all over the ranch, showing them the places that he and their father used to go as boys. When they had visited, Peter had always encouraged his boys to spend time with their uncles, but it was just that the visits were too few and too far apart. The boys grew inches between the times he got to see them and, although they immediately warmed to him, he felt like he had to get to know them all over again at the start of each visit.

He sighed softly, and the sigh drew him a sharp look from his mother. He sat straighter and forced a smile on his face. They were all gathered around the dining table, enjoying Mother’s birthday cake. Audra had carefully fed little Lizzie V. part of her piece, but Mother had encouraged her to just let the baby use her fingers and feed herself.

“Samantha’s really trying to get her to learn to use her spoon,” Audra actually hesitated in obeying her mother.

“I know, but today’s a special day and it’s so sweet to watch a baby deal with cake and icing,” Victoria pressed.

“Well,” Audra smiled and relented, “since it’s your birthday and it’s what you want. However, if Samantha asks me, I’m going to tell her that Lizzie V. used her best manners at the table.”

The family all laughed at the honest admission and then watched with delight as Lizzie V. at first hesitantly picked up the pieces of cake from the plate on her tray and then dug in with gusto. The final effect of an icing-smeared little face with a huge grin pleased all the adults around the table, particularly the little girl’s grandmother, who alternately wiped away the stickiness from the baby’s fingers and cheeks and kissed those same sweet surfaces.

Victoria brushed aside Audra’s offer to take Lizzie V. upstairs to change into her nightclothes. “You’ve gotten to help with her for weeks,” the older woman admonished. “Let Lizzie V.’s grandmother have a chance. After I get her ready, I’ll come back down to the billiards room and open my gifts there.”

When she returned with the nightgown-attired little girl, there was a round of ahhs from the group of uncles and aunt. Lizzie V. obligingly dimpled for them all and, when encouraged, carefully carried the brightly wrapped package that was from Peter’s family. Victoria took the flat rectangular package, suspecting it was a new picture of at least the children if not the whole family. Lizzie V. stood at her knee, one little finger in her mouth, as she watched her grandmother unwrap the package. “Ooshy,” the baby murmured.

“Ooshy?” Victoria questioned as she lay open the wrapping paper. She gasped and then put a hand to her mouth. “Oh, my.”

“What is it?” Nick said impatiently. “Another one of Christiana’s pictures of the little ones?”

“No,” she blinked to try to stop the tears but one slid down her cheek. “Even better.” She slowly turned the frame around. There, protected by the glass, captured for all time, were the handprints of her three grandchildren. At the top, Tom had carefully lettered (no doubt following his mother’s template) “With Love to Grandmother.” Below each little handprint, each child had written his or her name. Well, Tom’s was, of course, very neat and Nicky’s was barely recognizable, the printed capital N towering above the rest, but Lizzie V.’s was just a delightful scribble. It was a masterpiece was all that Victoria could think.

“Oh, Audra,” she finally whispered. “It’s so wonderful. How in the world did you and Samantha ever think of something so perfect?”

“Actually, He . . . , uhm, one of Samantha’s friends thought of it,” Audra was glad her mother was too overwhelmed by the gift to notice her hesitation. Jarrod and Heath, however, heard and they all shared a quick guilty look. Lizzie V. saved them all.

“Ooshy,” she reached out to pat the glass.

“Ooshy?” her grandmother repeated. “Oh, did you have to get you hand all messy to do this, sweetheart?”

“Ooshy,” Lizzie V. nodded seriously.

“Well, grandmother thanks you, darling,” she set the treasure aside and reached down to gather her only granddaughter onto her lap. Lizzie V. giggled with delight and curled her little arms around Victoria’s neck. The woman gently rocked the child as the keepsake was passed around and admired by all, and Lizzie V.’s eyes began to droop.

“Well,” Jarrod said after a few minutes, “I have a feeling that all the other birthday gifts will definitely be anti-climatic.”

“That’s not true,” Victoria protested. “I love every gift; it’s just getting something made by the children is so special. But I think before I open the rest I’m going to put this sleepy little girl to bed.

“I’ll be glad to do it, Mother,” Audra stood.

“No, no, I want to do it,” Victoria rose cradling Lizzie V. in her arms. “It’ll just take a moment and she’ll be tucked in. It’s been such a big day for her, riding on the train, it’s no wonder she’s already dozing off.”

“Mother, I don’t mind if she sleeps in my room,” Audra tried again.

“Heavens, no, her little bed is already set up in my room. This will be fine. Now, if you all will excuse me for a few minutes, I’ll see to our little princess,” she smiled as she swept from the room.

Jarrod smiled at his siblings; Mother was in her usual take-charge mood. Given it was her birthday, it seemed appropriate. He reached over and picked up the framed handprints, “This is really special, Audra. I can see getting Tom and Lizzie V. to hold still long enough to get such good handprints, but I’m surprised you were ever able to get a clear copy of our Nicky’s handprint.”

“It was a challenge,” Audra laughed. “Samantha just cringed at the idea of deliberately putting ink on Nicky’s hand . . . she feared for her draperies. We were smart; however, we did a couple of practice tries with Nicky and then made his the first one on the good paper and then immediately cleaned his hand up. Lizzie V. really didn’t like getting her hand messy. She kept wrinkling her nose and saying ‘Ooshy, ooshy.’ Tom, of course, was very good about it although he rolled his eyes a couple of times, thinking we were all being silly about this. He was proud, though, when Samantha had him do the lettering across the top. Christiana framed it for us. Didn’t she do a wonderful job?”

“Yes, she did,” Jarrod said immediately, a little surprised that Christiana hadn’t written him about the special gift. He guessed she wanted it to be a surprise for them all.

“Pete doesn’t even have to be here and he manages to give the best gift,” Nick groused.

“Get married and have yourself a few children and you’d probably give him a run for his money,” Gene teased.

Nick just grunted and got up to get a drink. When Mother returned, he managed to keep a smile on his face and at least pretend to enjoy the rest of the festivities. Mother did actually act as if she loved all the presents that she received. There were good-natured jibes between the siblings about their choices and lots of laughter. Pretty soon, Nick realized he was enjoying himself. The only thing that would have made it better was if Sam and Pete could have been here . . . but next year they would be here, he was sure. This year, well, this year, Pete was right to keep Sam off of trains until the newest Barkley arrived.

They started talking about prior birthday celebrations and eventually got around to the one when Nick received Coco. When Audra made the comment about remembering seeing the picture of Nick and Coco when they both were skinny, Nick pretended to huff in irritation. When Barton hooted that he couldn’t imagine that, Nick told him he’d go get the picture and show him how good looking they both were. Nick happily trotted upstairs and plucked the picture off his mantle . . . he’d always loved the picture. As he came back down the hallway, he heard the soft cries.

“Lizzie?” he crept into Mother’s room, afraid that he might wake the little girl. But he needn’t have worried. Little Lizzie V. lay curled on her side, wide awake, clutching her little rag doll and sobbing softly. “Lizzie V., what’s wrong, honey?” He knelt beside the little bed and reached out to stroke the dark curls.

“Me pappa,” the baby sobbed.

“Oh, baby, are you missing your pappa?” he gently patted her back.

“Me pappa,” punctuated by another sob was the only reply.

“Come here, Lizzie V.,” he picked her up from the bed and carefully sat down in the rocker that had always sat in his parents’ bedroom. “Now, I know I’m not Pappa but maybe ol’ Uncle Nick can help a little bit. Here, you rest here up on Uncle Nick’s shoulder. I know you like to rest on your pappa’s shoulder. I’ve seen you do it.”

“Me pappa,” was all that Lizzie V. seemed able to say but she did put her little arm around Nick’s neck and snuggled into his shoulder.

“That’s my girl,” he began to slowly rock. “I know you miss your pappa, but you were such a big girl to come all the way to Stockton for your grandmother’s birthday. And, you’re going back home tomorrow with Aunt Audra and Uncle Gene and Uncle Barton and you’ll be able to see your mamma and your pappa and your big brothers tomorrow evening. Yes, it’s gonna be just fine, isn’t it, honey?”

“Unna Niii,” Lizzie whispered and rubbed her runny nose against her uncle’s shoulder.

Funny, he didn’t mind at all. He began to hum softly and to pat Lizzie V.’s back. He had no idea how long he sat there, comforting his niece. It was Audra who showed up in the doorway and slipped quietly to his side. “Is everything all right?” she whispered, placing her hand on Nick’s shoulder and leaning down to peer at Lizzie’s face.

“Lizzie was awake when I came up, crying for her pappa,” he replied.

“Oh,” Audra’s heart was in her voice. “I was so afraid of this. She’s so attached to her pappa. She sits in his lap just about every night. Samantha doesn’t like him rocking her to sleep, says it spoils her, but Peter gets very close to doing it most nights . . . and he almost always tucks her in.”

“A real pappa’s girl, huh?” he slowly stood. “She asleep now?”

“Uh huh, sound out of it. You want me to put her down?”

“I can do it. Do you think she’ll be all right for the rest of the night?” he gently laid the little girl back into her little bed.

Audra tucked the covers around the baby, “She should be fine. It won’t be long before Mother will be up. You did a wonderful job with her.”

Nick was glad the darkness of the room hid his blush, “Ah, I didn’t do much. Just talked a little and rocked a little. Think she was missing a man’s voice.”

She tucked her arm around his, “You know, big brother, I think you’re a wonderful uncle and you’re going to be an even better father.”

She had no idea how the words sent an ache through his heart. He wanted to be a father, to know the joys that Peter knew. He only answered, “Ah, heck, maybe one of these days I’ll let one of those ladies chasing me actually catch me.”

“Maybe you’ll just do that,” she whispered and raised up on her toes to kiss his cheek. They stood together for several minutes, just watching the little girl sleep. Nick didn’t even think of trying to talk Audra into staying at the ranch.

Chapter 29

To make up for not getting to go to the ranch, Peter took his two boys down to the docks to see the big ships anchored there. It was a fine adventure and, despite Samantha’s concerns, Nicky didn’t fall off into the cold water. Of course, Peter kept the little boy’s hand tightly clutched in his own virtually the whole time.

The boys were so excited about the outing that they both flew up the stairs and began trying to tell their mother all about it simultaneously. Their exuberance made her laugh and, for a bit, she just let them talk over each other. Finally, they settled into a routine of Tom providing most of the narration and Nicky inserting his own comments along the way.

“And we got to go on a big ship, Mamma,” Tom’s eyes sparkled.

“Real big, Mamma,” Nicky emphasized.

“Real big, huh?” she smiled at them both.

“Uh huh,” Tom continued. “And we got to go all over the ship. From, uhm, from stem to stern.”

“Stem to stern?” she raised her eyebrows.

“That’s what the captain said, Mamma,” Tom nodded seriously.

“Yep, the captain,” Nicky interjected.

“You got to meet the captain?” she asked.

“He’s a friend of Pappa’s,” Tom explained.

“An old friend,” Nicky added.

“An old friend of Pappa’s?” her eyes went to Peter’s face. She was stunned to see he was looking very uncomfortable.

“Yes, ma’am,” Tom piped up. “Captain Pearce said he met Pappa many years ago.”

“Captain Pearce,” it wasn’t a question; Samantha’s eyes sparked as she studied her husband’s guilty countenance.

Peter took a deep breath and tried to explain, “When we were walking along the docks and I was pointing out the different kinds of ships to the boys, we happened to run into Sedge. He insisted that we come aboard his ship. It was such a treat for the boys.”

“I see,” her voice left no doubt that she failed to see any positive reasons for their sons boarding Sedgwick Pearce’s ship.

The little boys continued to chatter about all they had seen and done that day and she pretended to be thoroughly enthralled with their conversation. But, Peter thought grimly, you had to only look into her eyes to know she was seething. She, however, didn’t speak of it until after supper, until after Peter had told the boys their bedtime story, until after they had gotten their good night kisses and he had tucked them into their bed. She waited until it was just the two of them in their bedroom.

“Sure do miss Lizzie,” he started the conversation, striving for normalcy. “It was so strange to tell a bedtime story without her cuddled in my lap.”

“I’m sure she’s missing her pappa, too,” Samantha replied.

“And her mamma,” Peter smiled over at his wife.

“She’ll be back tomorrow afternoon,” she hesitated and then forced the matter to the surface. “I’m just glad she wasn’t here today, that she didn’t end up being around that vile man, too.”

Peter took a deep breath and forced himself to speak slowly and calmly, “Actually, Sedge was very much a gentleman today. He was very kind to the boys. Sam, when he invited them aboard the ship, their faces just lit up. I just couldn’t disappoint them. I mean, they were having to deal with not getting to go to the ranch . . . I just wanted to make the day special for them.”

“I can not imagine why you thought being around that horrid man would make the day special for Tom and Nicky.”

“Really, Sam, he was good to the boys. He was sober; I could tell he was consciously watching his language around them. He seemed as excited about showing them the ship as they were about seeing it all.”

“He’s a horribly crude man and I don’t want him around my children,” her voice was cold.

Peter sighed, “Sam, you have to understand, back when I knew Sedge, well, back then, he and I were just the same. I was just as crude and rash and ill-mannered as he was. I can’t just cut him off because I’ve suddenly taken on gentlemanly airs. How Christian would that be?”

He had hoped that appealing to her Christian attitudes would help smooth things, but she latched onto another part of his appeal, “You didn’t just suddenly take on gentlemanly airs. You were raised to be a gentleman. Now, I know you turned your back on such things for a time, but you always knew right from wrong. Inside of you, you were always a gentleman.”

He rolled his eyes. Sam would never admit his failings, although they were many and huge. “Right,” he finally said skeptically. “But, still, Sam, I can’t condemn the man. He’s an honest sea captain now, making his way in the world, and he just wanted to give our sons a treat.”

It was her turn to sigh and when she spoke again the anger had been replaced with something too close to fear, “Was she there?”

Peter could have pretended that he had no clue to whom she was referring, but that would have been a lie. He knew now what was truly bothering his wife. He finally said softly, “She’s his wife, Sam. Yes, Tessa was there. She was very sweet to the boys, fed them cookies and lemonade.”

“Lemonade?” Samantha sputtered. “It should have been milk. Obviously she doesn’t know anything about children. Growing children need lots of milk . . . not lemonade.”

He fought to keep the sharpness out of his voice, “It’s unlikely they would have milk aboard ship . . . it spoils too easily, Sam, but there are always lemons and limes. I’m sure she just tried to think of something that she thought the boys would enjoy. I imagine the only other choices were coffee or a shot of whiskey.”

“Oh,” it was apparent that she hadn’t considered the fact that the boys’ visit would have been an unexpected one, certainly one that didn’t allow time for shopping for more appropriate snacks. “Well, I guess lemonade is all right occasionally.”

“Uh huh,” was all he said. He wasn’t sure where the rest of this conversation was going. He waited for his wife’s next volley but nothing came. He slowly changed into his nightclothes and then turned down the lamp and slid into bed beside his wife. “Good night,” he whispered.

“Good night,” the words were hollow and cold.

Peter forced himself not to sigh; there would be no cuddling tonight, no murmuring about the kicks and squirms of the baby that grew inside her, no soft laughs shared about the boys’ antics; no whispered praises about their daughter’s newest feats. He forced himself not to curl himself around her, the way he loved. Instead, he rested a wrist on his forehead and stared up into the darkness. He thought she might have dozed off, so the voice startled him.

“She’s so beautiful.”

“What?” he blurted it out before he could stop himself.

“She’s so beautiful. She has that beautiful skin and that tall, slender, beautiful body and all that long black hair,” the words were sobbed out. “I’m so ugly. I’m short and fat and my skin is sallow. And my hair just won’t do anything now that all I do is lie in bed. She’s able to go out and do things, she can even entertain my children, but I’m just a blob, who lies in bed all the time.”

Peter unconsciously curled himself around her, trying to comfort her even as he scoffed at her statements, “Honey, there’s not an ugly bone in your body. You’re beautiful. You’re not short or fat or sallow; you’re perfect. Your children adore every moment you spend with them. You are doing an incredible job of being part of their lives even when your working so hard to give the baby inside you the best chance possible. Sam, you’re incredible. And you have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen. I love how soft it is when I rest my cheek on it, I love the way it curls around your face, I love the way it smells when I snuggle up with you at night.”

But his words offered her no comfort. She wailed, “And that’s all you can do, snuggle up with me.”

Thoroughly baffled, he replied, “What’s wrong with snuggling with you? I thought you liked it when we snuggled together.”

“But, but, that’s all we can do . . . and . . . and . . . nothing else . . . and I know you miss it,” she sobbed.

“Miss it? Miss what?” he was honestly confused.

She hissed at him, “You know, it! I know how much you enjoy it and we haven’t been able to for months and months. And now this beautiful woman from your past is here and I know you’re thinking how much nicer your life would be if you were with her rather than your ugly, fat wife who can’t, who can’t do it.”

“Are you talking about making love, Sam?”

“Yes, of course,” she whispered and then sniffed, “and we can’t and, and, that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”

Peter hugged her tighter, “Darling, you know we can’t. It’s way too risky for the baby.” He didn’t add that he never wanted to wake up after a night of lovemaking and find their bed linens wet with her blood like they had in November. It had scared them both half to death. It was then that Dr. Anderson had told him that they would have to stop all forms of connubial relationships.

“But it’s not natural for us, for a married couple, I mean, you’re accustomed to, to a, to a certain level of, of, of uhm activity. And I can’t and how can I expect you, who’s perfectly healthy, to deny your uhm natural urges . . . .”

“Damn it, Sam, what the hell are you talking about? Do you think I’ve been unfaithful to you?” he raised up in bed to stare down at her, thoroughly outraged at her accusation.

“Well, no,” she whispered, “I mean, I don’t think you have . . . yet . . . but given I can’t be a real wife to you how could I ever condemn you. And there’s beautiful Tessa, right here in San Francisco. All one has to do is to look at her to see that she’s still in love with you. And how could any man not want to be with someone as beautiful as she is.”

“You are a real wife, you are MY real wife,” he said urgently. “Sam, I’m almost 30 years old. I’m not some young buck who can’t control himself. Sam, I love you. You are the only woman I want to be with. If we’re not able to make love because we have to protect the child you’re carrying, our child, the child our love made, then that’s just part of our marriage. I made vows to you, and I intend to keep those vows.”

“But don’t you miss it? I do and I know you must.”

Peter laughed softly and lay back down beside her, “Of course I miss it. Believe you me, after we get this baby here, after we get you healed back up, then I fully plan on making up for lost time.”

Despite her tears, a laugh slipped out, “Is that a promise?”

“That, my love, is a sacred vow,” he kissed her cheek. “Now, you, young lady, need to get your beauty sleep. So let’s just snuggle here and you close your eyes and relax.”

He could feel her slowly relax in his arms. Again, he thought she had dozed off so her words surprised him. This time, however, she just whispered, “I love you, my Peter.”

“And I love you, my Sam. Forever and always.”

* * * * * * * *

Peter thought he had been successful in alleviating Sam’s worries about their relationship. Certainly, she hadn’t brought it up again and they had resumed the pattern of their lives. Gene, Audra and Barton had returned from Stockton with the news that little Lizzie’s presence combined with the framed handprints had helped smooth over the absence of the rest of Peter’s family. Lizzie V. had gone to her mamma first and then immediately to her pappa’s arms where she remained until she fell asleep for the night.

The following Wednesday Peter went home for a late lunch and to help Samantha with her weekly “almost bath.” The doctor, of course, had forbidden her from taking any baths . . . the general consensus was that this could lead to an infection that could prove dire for both her and the baby. So Samantha had to make do with sponge baths . . . something she quickly determined did not make her feel the least bit clean. After a few weeks of complaining, Peter and Eugene came up with a reclining seat that could be rested on the sides of their bathtub. When padded with toweling, it made a comfortable seat for Samantha. She could dangle her feet in the water, soap up and use the buckets of warm water that sat on the table to rinse off. And, with Peter’s or Audra’s help, she could even wash her hair. It wasn’t as good as a real bath but it was certainly better than sponging and drying her body a square at a time.

Whenever Peter’s schedule allowed, he would assist Samantha with her bath, carefully carrying his wife down the hallway, helping her with the soaping and rinsing, and transporting her back to their room. Today, his schedule allowed him this privilege. He enjoyed these brief interludes in their very busy lives. Given his busy schedule and Samantha’s overall low energy level, these were often the longest conversations they had during the week. And Sam might think she was fat and ugly but Peter enjoyed the chance to touch his wife’s bare skin. Even in her heaviness, she was still the most beautiful woman he knew.

He trotted up the stairs and peeked in Lizzie V.’s room. Sure enough, his little girl was napping soundly. Down the hall, Nicky was also asleep. According to Audra and Samantha, the boy was trying to convince all that he was too big for naps, but he always fell sound asleep once he was settled down on his and Tom’s bed. As usual, Tom was sitting at the little table in his parents’ bedroom, carefully tracing over the letters his mother had printed out for him. Peter stood in the doorway and just watched his eldest for a few moments, letting the pride swell his heart a little. Samantha always warned him that “pride goeth before a fall,” but Peter didn’t think a little bit of pride, kept in a father’s heart, was too bad of a thing.

Tom must have felt his father’s eyes because he suddenly looked toward the door. His serious countenance dissolved into a wide smile. “Pappa!” the little boy literally crowed.

“Hey, how’s my first mate?” he walked across the room and tousling the boy’s hair. “You being good for your mamma?”

“Yes, sir,” Tom nodded seriously.

“Good boy,” Peter smiled at him. “Are you about done with your lessons? It’s time for me to help your mamma with her bath.”

The boy turned his eyes toward his mother, “Mamma?”

“Oui, cherie, I think you have worked enough today.”

“May I take the picture book out to the treehouse? Please?”

“If you are very careful with it, cherie.

“I will be,” he promised. Tom skipped to her bedside and rose on his toes so that he could give her cheek a soft kiss. Then he tucked the book under his arm and trotted out of the room.

Peter shared a proud smile with his wife and then asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yes, Audra took my fresh nightgown and robe into the washroom just a bit ago. She was going to help me if you didn’t show up soon. I was afraid that you got tied up at the office.”

“Meeting ran a little long. Sorry I’m late. Here you go, put your arms around my neck and I’ll carry you down to the washroom,” he slipped his arms under her and picked her up easily.

Samantha protested lightly, “I could walk, Peter. In fact, I was getting ready to walk down there before you arrived.”

“You know you’re supposed to stay off your feet as much as possible. I’m here and I can carry you. In fact, I like carrying my pretty wife.”

She tightened her arms around his neck, “Hmm, well, I actually like it when my big strong husband carries me.”

He smiled at her indulgently and carried her carefully down the hall to the washroom. Placing her gently on the bench, Peter then set about getting things ready for her bath. She watched silently as he filled the tub with water and added the scented oil that she loved. He made sure that the rinse water in the buckets on the table was warm and then took off his jacket and shirt and hung them on the hooks by the door. He pushed the sleeves of his undershirt up and then turned back to help his wife remove her robe and gown. As she lifted her arms so that he could skim the gown off, Samantha murmured, “You should take off you undershirt, Peter. You know sometimes you splash water on yourself.”

“Hmm, all right,” he pulled off the undershirt and tossed it on the bench beside her. “C’mon, let’s get you over on your bench.” Peter scooped up his naked wife and pivoted around to place her on the reclining seat that rested over the tub. He started to pull away from her but her arms tightened around his neck. She angled her face and then leaned up to kiss him. He just naturally returned the kiss which turned out to be a rather long, intense one. He was the one who pulled back, slightly embarrassed by how quickly he was swept along by her ardor. He managed to ask, “Comfortable?”

“Uh huh,” she smiled at him and relaxed against the back of the seat.

As Peter reached across her for the bowl of soft soap she teasingly blew on his chest hairs. Involuntarily, he shuddered. “Behave, Sam,” he scolded.

“What?” her eyes were wide and feigned total innocence.

“Just behave,” Peter repeated and tried to hand her a washcloth.

But she “accidentally” let the cloth drop into the tub. As he reached to retrieve it, Samantha let her hands glide across his shoulders and down his back. When he straightened, her hands slid around to caress the hard muscles of his chest. “Sam, please,” he said sternly. “You’re making this very hard for me.”

“I can see that,” she purred as she ran her fingers down his chest to his flat stomach and then deftly outlined the hardness that pushed against the front of his pants.

“Damn it, Sam,” Peter hissed trying hard to stop his body’s automatic response to his wife’s seductive touches. “Stop it now. You know we can’t do anything.”

“I can’t but you can,” Samantha whispered as she leaned forward to touch her lips to his.

But his mouth was unyielding, “No, WE can’t. We, as in us as a married couple, can not.”

“You can,” she repeated, “and I can help you.” She efficiently unhooked his belt and teasingly slid her fingers inside the waistband.

“We can’t do this,” Peter struggled to hold onto his senses. “You don’t have to do this,” he added more gently.

Samantha laughed against his mouth, “Of course I don’t have to, but I want to. Let me do this, Peter. Let me touch you.” Her fingers now undid the first two buttons of his pants and slipped down to caress the hardness through just his linen drawers. “Take your pants off, Peter,” she ordered and then kissed him hard.

He still resisted, “No, Sam, this isn’t right; it isn’t fair.”

“Take your pants off,” she repeated, “and get in the bathtub. Do it now, Peter. Do it, please.” And she finished unbuttoning his pants and moved to the buttons of the drawers underneath.

Her touch had his head buzzing. It had been so long since he had even allowed himself to think of this physical release . . . so long . . . months and months. That’s why it was so hard to rein himself in, Peter told himself. Involuntarily, he groaned as her fingers now directly touched the taunt skin. They had been married more than six years; she knew his body well. Just as he knew what would ignite the fire in her veins, she knew exactly what would cause all of the blood to drain out of his head directly into his lap. “Sam,” he tried to protest.

But she teased his ear with her tongue and then whispered into it, “Take your boots and pants off, Peter, and kneel in the bathtub.”

His whole body was throbbing with his need. Before he could reason with himself, he was standing to lever off his boots and then to kick off his remaining clothes. In a twinkle, he was in the bathtub as she had ordered, kneeling between her bare thighs, his hands braced on either side of the tub and his mouth seeking hers again. The heels of her feet pressed against his backside to hold him close to her. In the moments it had taken for him to shed his clothes, she had slickened her hands with the soft soap; and as now both hands reached past her big belly to caress him, the sensation threatened to empty his mind of all thoughts.

Peter valiantly struggled once more to weakly protest, “Sam, it’s not fair. The doctor says you can’t even have the feelings much less me be inside of you. I can’t pleasure you at all, Sam.”

“Shh,” she directed. “Let me take you over. You have no idea how much that pleasures me.”

And he gave up fighting against her touch, against the feelings that had all but consumed him. He gave himself over to her.

As she drew her husband toward his release, listened as he gasped her name, felt his body convulse between her thighs, Samantha felt a fine lick of satisfaction deep inside. She could still please him; she was still the one that he wanted, the one that could satisfy him. And now, as his body trembled against hers, she could finally dismiss the flicker of self-doubt, the tiny hint of fear that had threatened her since the first time she saw Tessa Pearce. Peter was hers.

* * * * * * * *

Peter swung off his horse and hurried toward the bank’s back entrance. He was late for the afternoon meeting with the owners of the new emporium. It was like he just couldn’t pull himself away from Sam this afternoon. Her skillful seduction of him . . . yes, he told himself, it was a seduction, albeit one he hadn’t fought against very valiantly . . . had not only been a physical release but a mental one as well. As he had finally slid back from her, to sink into the tub of warm water, still gasping for his breath, for the first time in months he felt as if everything was going to be all right. Looking up at his wife, past the rounded belly that held their child, he couldn’t help grinning at her, she wore such a self-satisfied smug look on her face. God, how he loved her . . . she was the delight of his life. Teasingly, he had grabbed her foot and kissed each of the toes. This had brought a full-hearted laugh from her, the first he had heard in months. He had lain in the cooling bath water for what seemed like hours, just laughing and talking with her. They didn’t discuss her medical condition, if she had had any pains, if her back was hurting at all, if her ankles were swelling, if she was having any bleeding or any signs that her water was breaking. No, they talked about everything but that, and they laughed and laughed. It was a long time before he had gotten around to re-heating the water and helping her bathe and wash her hair, a long time before he had gotten them both dressed, a long time before he had carried her back down the hallway.

Now as he strolled into the bank and toward the conference room, he couldn’t even muster up enough remorse to scold himself for his tardiness. What was the worst thing that could happen? They would lose the store’s business because he was late. Today it was much more important that he spent time with his wife.

He walked straight to the conference room, where Barton was meeting with the two storeowners. He calmly apologized for his lateness. He smoothly fell into the discussions and the meeting proceeded much as he had anticipated it would. The only disquieting moment came during a break for refreshments, when Barton leaned over and whispered, “Is everything all right with Samantha?”

“Sure, everything’s fine,” Peter whispered back.

Barton smiled and then sniffed, wrinkling his nose.

“What?” Peter frowned.

“You, uh, you smell, uh, nice,” Barton could think of no other way to say it.

Peter flushed and then muttered, “You know how women like to use bath oils. I helped Sam with her bath today.”

“Well, what did you do, bathe in it, too?” Barton innocently teased. The red in Peter’s face deepened. His partner gawked, “You bathed with Samantha? . . . in her condition?”

“Shut up, Barton,” Peter hissed and then turned away from his gaping friend to smile at their customers and resume their conversation. God, it was a great day.

Chapter 30

Was it prayer or luck or pure determination on Samantha’s part, Jarrod wondered as he re-read the latest letter from Christiana. His dear sister-in-law was still bed-bound, but, by some miracle, his niece or nephew had not yet arrived. With just under three weeks until the first of April, Jarrod couldn’t help but feel hopeful. Even if the baby arrived today, surely its chances were good. Peter and Samantha had said that Lizzie V. was early, certainly she had been so tiny, but she had been perfectly healthy. Perhaps this baby would be just as lucky.

As always, Christiana’s letter was delightful. As she had promised, she provided him with the details he craved on Samantha’s condition. Peter’s wife was still maintaining her upbeat attitude, and, as of the writing of the letter, there had been no new scares. Samantha was still involved in the day-to-day activities of her three children. Even Peter seemed to be smiling more, Christiana added, somehow knowing that Jarrod was deeply concerned about the stress his younger brother was having to bear. And, according to Christiana, Audra was doing an outstanding job of coordinating everyone’s schedules and, incredibly, the children still seemed to be showing no ill effects from the changes in the household.

For a moment Jarrod reflected on the changes he had seen in his little sister. It was something as small as being on time when Barton came to pick her up the evening of the ball. When he had expressed some surprise, Audra had just looked at him with disdain and said, “Barton has been working hard all day and now he’s making time to take me out to a social event even though he’ll have to be at the bank early tomorrow morning. The least I can do is to be on time so he doesn’t have to wait for me.”

Just as he had told Nick, the time that Audra had spent in Peter and Samantha’s home had been good for the girl. Samantha’s condition, although frightening for them all, had required that Audra focus on someone else’s problems. The flighty girl, the only surviving daughter who was adored by her mother, petted by her father, spoiled by her brothers, had grown into a caring, capable woman. Jarrod knew that in a few short months he would be handing off the day-to-day care and protection of Audra to Barton. He now felt, however, that he would never have to worry about his little sister being able to take care of herself. She was just as strong as either Mother or Samantha. Peter had laughingly complained about the women in the family being far too independent; Jarrod felt that they all were incredibly resilient.

He turned his attention back to the letter, laughing softly to himself as he re-read Christiana’s description of how Lizzie V. had calmly poked Nicky in the eye with her fist when he dared to toss one of her baby dolls to the side. Another strong, resilient, independent Barkley female, he chuckled. Then the letter went on about what Christiana herself had been doing, the landscapes she had been able to shoot between the two weddings she had handled. Her portrait business was obviously thriving, he thought, but he knew she would much rather just be out and about shooting her candid shots of the world around her. And then there was a short passage on the most recent “discussion group” (she had added an “i.e., hen party” in her letter just to needle him a little) with all the women in attendance. She noted that Becca Henderson was busy with another fundraiser but seemed a little bored by it all and that Hester looked particularly tired because little Adam had gone through a round of nightmares about his mother. Christiana ended the long letter by asking about how things were with him, how the water-rights hearings were going in Sacramento, what new cases he was working on, how Nick and Heath and Victoria were.

He would need to write her tonight with the latest news around the ranch. He had already sent her a telegram, letting her know as soon as he got off the train from Sacramento that he was back in Stockton should there be any need to get an emergency telegram to him. This had become his habit, keeping her closely apprised of his whereabouts should the unthinkable happen to Samantha and Peter. She also let him know whenever she was going to be away from the city . . . but Jarrod had noticed that she had curtailed her “adventuring” some and he suspected it was because of Samantha. In the letter he’d write tonight, he would also let her know that he had arranged his schedule so that he could be in San Francisco the last week of March. The next round of hearings at the capital started on April 2nd. He was hoping that the newest Barkley would arrive while he was in the bay city. Having been blessed to be there when Lizzie V. was born, he was hoping his luck would hold for this newest little one. He was also looking forward to spending a whole week in San Francisco; hopefully he and Christiana could find some time to be alone.

Jarrod quickly packed up his satchel with a few papers and reference books and carefully tucked Christiana’s letter into his coat pocket. He knew that Nick had left Jingo at the livery for him, his clerk had a message from his younger brother. Looking forward to a good home-cooked meal, he instructed the clerk to close up early and enjoy his evening. Jingo was well rested and eager to stretch his legs, so Jarrod turned the horse off the road and headed cross-country to the Barkley headquarters. He was halfway home when he saw Heath riding across the pasture, also headed for home. The two brothers joined up and chatted for a few minutes, each assuring the other he had heard nothing from San Francisco. When they arrived home, Jarrod dropped his bags in his room and then headed to the office to deal with any business correspondence that had arrived at home while Heath went upstairs to enjoy a muscle-easing soak in the bathtub. The younger brother had left the house before sunup in order to reach the far pasture and finish clearing the ford across the creek. He was looking forward to having a nice dinner and hitting the hay early.

The two brothers did not meet up again until Silas announced that supper was ready. They strolled into the dining room together, neither surprised to see Nick already sitting there.

“About time you two showed up,” Nick grumbled. “A working man expects to have his supper on time. Don’t guess you two lollygaggers care one way or the other.”

“Don’t know who you’re talking to, big brother,” Heath dropped down in the chair next to him. “I know me and my crew did a full day’s work . . . don’t have a clue as to what you did today.”

“And I for one started my day with a breakfast meeting at 6:30 this morning and was in and out of conference rooms right up until it was time for me to catch my train, on which I continued to work on a brief and, since returning home, I have been busy in the office going over contracts for both the walnut and peach shipments as well as those grazing rights down by Sonora that you’ve been pushing for,” Jarrod paused for a breath, “so my lily white hands have been very busy.”

“All right, all right, I get the picture. You two at least think you work hard,” Nick only pretended to grumble. “So we’re all due for a good dinner.”

Jarrod laughed softly, “Well, don’t you think we should wait for Mother, brother Nick?”

“She’s not here.”

Jarrod and Heath exchanged surprised looks. It was Heath who asked the obvious, “Where is she?”

“Gone to San Francisco.”

“What!” the word exploded from both Jarrod and Heath, causing Nick to stare at first one and then the other as if they were crazy.

“When?” Jarrod finally gasped.

“Took the 10 o’clock train. Got tired of reading Audra’s excuses,” Nick nodded to Silas as the white-coated man began to serve the meal. “She said at breakfast this morning that she thought she was going to have to go to San Francisco herself and hogtie Audra and bring her back. I told her to do it. So she did.”

“Just like that?” Heath frowned.

“Just like that,” Nick replied calmly. “And it was about time.”

Jarrod leaned back in his chair, trying to decide what to do next. Finally, he shook his head, “Well, if she took the 10 o’clock train that means she’s already there. There’s nothing we can do now to warn Peter and Samantha and Audra.”

Nick barked, “Now, why the heck do you need to warn them? What’s going on in Frisco that Mother shouldn’t know about?” He stopped, his face suddenly flushing, “There isn’t something going on between Audra and Bart that shouldn’t be, is there?” Unconsciously he doubled up his right fist. He liked Bart but if he needed to, he would pound him into the ground.

“No, no,” Jarrod said quickly. “Nothing like that. It’s just Samantha.” He stopped, now not sure what to say.

“What about Samantha?” Nick demanded.

Jarrod’s eyes moved to Heath, and the younger brother shrugged, “Mother knows by now. I don’t guess Peter and Samantha will mind if we tell Nick now.”

“Tell me what?” Nick’s head swiveled between his brothers. “What are you two talking about? What’s going on?”

Jarrod took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Finally, having no idea how to cushion the blow, he just blurted it out, “Samantha’s been having problems carrying the baby. She’s been confined to her bed.”

Nick paled, “Problems? What kind of problems? How bad?”

“Bad problems,” Heath replied. “Doctor didn’t think she’d be able to carry the baby long enough for it to be big enough to make it. Looks like, though, that she just might prove that doctor wrong.”

“How long? How long has this been going on?” Nick wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Maybe it was anger, but it didn’t exactly feel like it. Maybe it was fear.

“According to Peter, Samantha’s been having problems since last fall, since right after they went back to San Francisco after getting Gene home,” Jarrod related it just as Peter had told him. “And they had a very bad scare right before Thanksgiving; that’s why they didn’t come then. Peter didn’t want to risk coming at Christmas, but Samantha insisted. When she didn’t have any problems then, they thought they were past the trouble, but then, in January, she started having pains again. That’s when the doctor restricted her to bed.”

“January? You knew? I mean, both you and Heath have been there since January. You knew and you didn’t say anything to us?” now Nick knew it was anger.

Heath answered, his voice low and calm, “Sam asked us not to say anything to anyone. I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t gone to Frisco to try to get Audra to come home.” He added, “Jarrod’s right, Nick, Audra’s been a big help to Pete and Sam.”

“Why, why didn’t Sam want us to know?”

“She said she didn’t want everyone to worry about her when there wasn’t anything anyone could do,” Jarrod replied.

“Well, well, dang it, that’s what family does,” the hazel-eye brother sputtered.

Jarrod sighed softly, “I know, Nick. I tried to explain it to her, but she was adamant. Christiana says that part of it is because for so long it was just Peter and Samantha taking care of themselves and their children.”

“That’s not how it is any more,” Nick protested.

“I know, I know. I said the same thing. That they’re family and that family takes care of family. But Samantha just kept saying that right now everyone should be thinking about Audra’s wedding and all the joy that will bring us and not worrying about a sickly sister-in-law.”

“Nick,” Heath added softly, “Sam blames herself for what’s going on. She thinks it because she’s weak or something, that’s why she’s having problems. That it’s all her fault and that she’s being a burden to everyone because of it.”

“Sam’s not weak or sickly and she’s sure not a burden,” Nick ground the words out. “Doesn’t she understand how much we care for her. This isn’t her fault. And I sure don’t understand why she didn’t want us to know. We might not be able to do anything, but we should still have been told.”

“Christiana also thinks that part of the reason why Samantha didn’t want the family to know, particularly Mother, is because Samantha is intimidated by Mother,” Jarrod reluctantly admitted.

Nick snorted, “I told HER that was ridiculous.”

“Well, as Christiana says, no matter how ridiculous it seems to us, it’s the way Samantha feels.”

“You sure are quoting Christiana a lot these days, Pappy,” Nick leveled a hard gaze at him.

Jarrod felt the blush creep up his neck, “Christiana is perhaps Samantha’s closest friend. They share many confidences. Christiana has shared a few with me, to help me understand why Samantha didn’t want any of us to know what was going on.”

“So you and Chrissy talk, huh,” Nick picked up his fork and stabbed it into his potatoes.

“We do,” Jarrod admitted. “I make it a point to see her whenever I’m in San Francisco. And,” he paused and then boldly added, “I asked her to write me to keep me updated on how things are going. She’s been very good about doing that.”

Nick raised his eyebrows and then glanced at Heath. Now this was an interesting turn of events. Did Heath know about Pappy’s budding relationship with Christiana? “Really?” he finally murmured. “Well, have you got any news for us?”

Jarrod bit his lip and then nodded, “I had a letter from Christiana at the office. She says Samantha is doing well, no recent scares. Even Peter is smiling more.”

“Good,” Heath grinned. “She’s getting close. Don’t you think it’s gonna be all right?”

“I’m very hopeful,” Jarrod agreed. “I don’t want to jinx us but I think our little sister-in-law may have just beat the odds.”

“So, how do you figure things are going now that Mother’s there?’ Nick asked.

Jarrod sighed, “I’m sure it’s an interesting situation.”

“Well, if I was Petey, I’d be hiding all the wooden spoons in his kitchen. Mother may be upset with Sam but it’s Petey who’s going to catch Mother’s temper,” Nick mused.

His brothers joined his rather dry laugh. All three were glad they were in Stockton and not San Francisco.

* * * * * * * *

Earlier that afternoon in San Francisco

Victoria Barkley quickly paid the hack driver and easily picked up her valise. She’d only brought enough for one night. Walking quickly up the front walk to the door of Peter and Samantha’s home, she pondered her conflicting feelings. She had only tolerated Audra’s return to the city after her birthday party because the girl did need to get baby Lizzie V. back to her parents and Audra had promised that she would return to the ranch before the week was out . . . something that had certainly not happened. Victoria was riding on a crest of what she felt was righteous anger because of her daughter’s continued refusal to return home to deal with the details of her own wedding plans and her middle son’s apparent lax attitude toward Audra’s rebellious behavior. Along with the anger, however, there was the niggling feeling of guilty pleasure. Audra’s rebellion had turned into Victoria’s excuse for coming to San Francisco even though there were a million things to do at the ranch. She had dearly missed seeing Peter and Samantha and her only grandchildren. Seeing Lizzie V. at her birthday had only made the ache stronger. She had known that all she had to do was to sigh over Audra’s latest letter and Nick would tell her to go to San Francisco and get Audra. And with neither Heath nor Jarrod there to argue against it, the road was clear. Goodness, she reflected, she was as much of a manipulator as Peter.

As she raised the knocker and gently rapped on the front door, she successfully smothered her guilty feelings. She had, truly, come to get Audra. The fact that she would be able to enjoy a visit with the others . . . well that was just a collateral benefit. Voices on the other side of the heavy oak door brought a wide smile to her face. Yes, those were the voices of her two grandsons. The door opened a crack and she saw two sets of small eyes peer out. The crack quickly widened and her legs were engulfed by two tight hugs.

“Grandmother!” Tom released her legs and, as she bent down to hug both boys, wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her cheek.

“Oh, my darlings,” she wrapped her arms around both the boys and accepted Nicky’s wet kiss on her other cheek. “Grandmother has missed her little boys so much.”

“We missed you, too, Grandmother,” Tom hugged her again and then stepped back. “It’s been a long, long time since you’ve come to visit us.”

“I know, darling,” she caressed his soft cheek. “Grandmother has been so busy in Stockton, but I just had to make time to see my best boys.”

“We was just going out to play in Mamma’s garden, Granmudder,” Nicky said earnestly. “You wanna come with us?”

“I’ll be out in just a few minutes. I need to talk with your mamma and Aunt Audra and give Lizzie V. a kiss, too. Where are they?”

“They’re all up in Mamma and Pappa’s bedroom,” Tom replied. “Come out soon, Grandmother.”

“And see if you can get some cookies from Senora Carlotta,” Nicky whispered conspiratorially.

“I’ll see,” she laughed and lovingly ruffled his thick dark locks. He so reminded her of his namesake at the very same age. Smiling to herself, she carried her valise upstairs and headed toward Peter and Samantha’s bedroom. She could hear her daughter and daughter-in-law’s soft voices. Well, it looked as if she would confront the issue right away. By this time tomorrow, she would have Audra home, she resolved.

Victoria hesitated outside the bedroom door, feeling slightly guilty as she eavesdropped, but the voices were a little too low for her to hear clearly. She stepped through the open door and started to announce her presence but was stunned into silence by what she saw. Samantha had been confined to her bed, she knew instantly, and, as she surveyed the room, Victoria knew her daughter-in-law had been there for some time. Her eyes went back to her daughter-in-law. She looked pale and a little drawn but her hugely expanded girth told Victoria that the baby was still growing.

Audra, who had Lizzie V. comfortably settled on her hip, was chattering away, “I’ll take Lizzie V. out to be with the boys in the garden for a bit and then come back to check on you. Are you sure it’s just twinges and not real pains? I could go get some brandy for you to sip on.”

“Just twinges,” Samantha murmured as she twisted on the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position. “Trust me, I know the difference.”

“All right, I’ll trust you, but I am going to send Marie up to check on you in 15 minutes,” Audra said firmly.

“I’m fine, really, Audra,” Samantha assured her even as she winced and shifted again.

“Well, if you are, quit making those faces,” the younger woman replied calmly. “You make me nervous when you do that.”

“They’re the same kind of twinges I had Tuesday,” the young mother sighed. “They went away then; they’ll go away today, I’m sure. Go on and be with the boys. If you don’t, they’ll probably start fighting in about five minutes.”

“I’m going,” Audra hesitated for a moment more. “Do you need me to bring you anything? A book? Your needlepoint?”

“No, I’ve got some letters I need to write. When I get a little more comfortable, I’ll work on those.”

“All right. If you change your mind, Marie will be up shortly to check on you and I’ll be back up in half an hour. If you need something, don’t get up. Just wait until either Marie or I come back,” Audra directed as she turned toward the door. When she saw her mother, she froze. It was several heartbeats before she managed to stutter, “Mother? We weren’t expecting you. What a surprise.”

“I’m sure it is,” Victoria said softly.

“Victoria!” Samantha’s face was bright red. “You, ah, you should have let us know you were coming. Peter would have met you at the station.” She started to swing her legs off the bed.

“No, Samantha, please don’t get up,” the older woman said softly. “Audra, I believe I heard you say you were going to take Lizzie V. outside. Please go on. I’m, I’m a little tired from the trip. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go freshen up.”

“Of course,” Samantha stammered. “You can use the guest room at the end of the hall.”

“Thank you,” Victoria whispered as she turned and walked out the door, leaving the two younger women staring at each other in confusion.

Victoria walked quickly down the hallway to the room that Samantha had indicated. She softly closed the door and set her valise beside the wardrobe but then went to sit in the chair situated by the window. The view was of the side yard but through the glass she could hear the shouts of her two grandsons from the garden in the back yard. Her thoughts, however, were on the room back down the hallway. How could she not have known? How could she not have realized that there were problems? She should have known when Audra kept making up flimsy excuses for staying in San Francisco. She should have known when Jarrod spoke in generalizations when he returned from his visits to the city and when Heath had just smiled and talked vaguely about Audra having many more tasks to do but would be coming home soon. She certainly should have known when Peter and Samantha had allowed only Lizzie V. to come for her birthday. But she had ignored all the signals because she told herself that if there were any problems, Peter and Samantha would summon her. Of course, they would summon her. She was Peter’s mother. Samantha’s own mother had died on the day Samantha was born. Samantha had never known a mother’s love and Victoria had thought she had helped to fill that void. But they hadn’t summoned her. Samantha was confined to her bed, had been confined to her bed for weeks, Victoria was sure, and they hadn’t summoned her. They hadn’t even let her know. They didn’t want her to know.

The pain of this exclusion squeezed her heart. She dug into her pocket for her handkerchief to dry the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She was so foolish, she thought as she angrily dabbed at her eyes. She thought she knew everything, thought she understood how everyone else thought, thought she knew what was best for everyone. She was so, so foolish. The click of the door latch made her snatch her hand away from her eyes. She continued to look out the window, not prepared to turn her red eyes toward the visitor. Of course, it was Audra.

“Mother,” there was a forced jollity to her tone. “I brought you some fresh water and I thought I would help you unpack.”

“There’s no need,” Victoria whispered.

“What?” Audra stared at the back of her mother’s head.

“I’m not staying,” she refused to turn around. “I’ll be taking the late train back to Stockton.”

“Mother?” When she didn’t get a response, Audra impulsively offered, “I’ll pack and go back with you, Mother.”

“No,” she shook her head. “No, you need to stay. Samantha,” and she choked for a moment. “Samantha needs you.”

“Mother,” Audra took a step toward her mother.

“Please,” the voice stopped the steps. “Please, Audra, please just leave me alone for a time. I’ll be leaving shortly for the train station. Would you ask Peter’s groom to be prepared to take me?”

“Yes, Mother,” Audra answered dutifully, not understanding at all her mother’s actions. When she had worried about Mother coming to San Francisco, she had imagined that there would be a severe scolding and, then, when Mother learned about Samantha, she’d just take over like she always did. As Audra stepped back out into the hallway, she realized she had never seen her mother so passive. Well, not since the days following her father’s death. That thought shook her to her core.

Victoria continued to stare unseeingly out the spotless window. Her brain knew she would need to get up soon, to pick up her valise, to walk down the stairs, to board Peter’s carriage and go back to the train station, and to catch the train and go back home. Home, she sighed, back to the ranch, to sit and wait. To wait until they received a telegram from Peter on the outcome of Samantha’s pregnancy. To wait until Audra came back temporarily to finish the preparations for her wedding. She knew she needed to get up, but she was so tired and her head and heart were aching. She just wanted to sit and not think, not feel.

She had no concept of how long she sat, but it was the door latch that again roused her. Sighing, she protested, “Audra, please, just give me a few more minutes.”

“It’s not Audra.”

Victoria turned quickly and stared at her daughter-in-law, standing in her robe and slippers, gently caressing her large belly, her green eyes wide with worry. “You’re not supposed to be out of bed, are you?”

Samantha shrugged, “I sneak out sometimes.”

“Well, we need to get you back into it,” Victoria quickly stood and came across the room to put a firm arm around Samantha and to turn her back down the hallway.

“Audra says you’re not staying,” Samantha’s voice was carefully modulated. She had never seen Audra so upset. Her sister-in-law had been in tears, babbling that her mother wasn’t herself, that something must be terribly wrong, perhaps her mother was ill.

“Yes, I think it would be best. I had thought I would make Audra come home, but it’s obvious she’s needed here,” Victoria managed to keep her own voice level. “I thought I would go back on the evening train. There’s no need to disrupt the household routine.”

“Peter will be disappointed that he didn’t get to see you,” Samantha allowed herself to be guided back into her bedroom. “And the children. Tom and Nicky would love for you to stay at least overnight.”

As Victoria automatically smoothed the bed linens and fluffed the pillows, she tried to not think about what Samantha didn’t say. Peter would be disappointed, Tom and Nicky would love for her to stay, but Samantha said nothing about her own feelings. Obviously, her daughter-in-law’s silence on that issue spoke volumes. Biting her lips to hold back her sobs, she reached over to help Samantha up on the bed and then to slip off her slippers and slide her legs under the covers.

“Comfortable?” Victoria murmured. When Samantha just nodded her head, she stepped back from the bed and nervously twined her fingers together. “Samantha, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

Drawing a trembling breath, she forged on, “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’ve done some an awful job of this mother-in-law thing.”

Samantha shook her head in confusion, “Victoria, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Victoria rushed on, almost as if she hadn’t heard Samantha’s denial, “I know that I’ve always been a very, a very strong influence in my children’s lives. I know that now that they all are grown, well almost all grown, that they lovingly tolerate my, my uh, my interference in their lives.”

“They don’t consider it interference, Victoria,” Samantha said gently.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t understand that what my own children would tolerate would actually make me an overbearing mother-in-law, something I never wanted to be. Please forgive me, Samantha. I should never have assumed that you wanted me here when the baby was born. I know that, of course, it is your right to choose those you want here at that time. I’m so sorry for how poorly I treated you, how I disregarded your feelings . . . and . . . and . . . I hope we can perhaps work on our relationship after . . . after . . . the baby arrives.”

“Oh, Victoria,” the younger woman reached out to grab her hand. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you here when the baby came; I just didn’t want you to worry about me, about us, for months when there’s nothing you can do.”

“Good heavens, Samantha, I’ve worried about you since Peter told me that you were expecting. You have been in my thoughts and prayers each and every day. That is what a mother does, Samantha. You know that.”

“But I wanted you to enjoy this time, I wanted you to be able to only think of Audra’s wedding. This is such a joyous time for you, planning your only daughter’s wedding. I didn’t want anything to detract from that joy.”

“Of course, it’s a joyous time for me, but Audra is only one of my children. I can enjoy planning her wedding at the same time that I worry about Jarrod burying himself in his work, about Eugene’s decisions about his future, about what’s behind Nick’s current short temper, about whether Heath is ever going be comfortable enough with the Barkley name to be able to offer it to a woman, about Peter thinking that he has to shoulder all his responsibilities by himself, and about how Samantha is doing as she carries my newest grandchild. Because, Samantha, you may be my daughter-in-law, but when my mind ticks through my children, you are right there, beside Peter. I love you just the same.”

Samantha pulled Victoria closer; she impulsively wrapped her arms around her mother-in-law’s waist and leaned her head against her chest. “Oh, Victoria,” she whispered in a teary voice, “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Shh, darling, it’s all right,” Victoria’s arms encircled her daughter-in-law’s shoulders and she leaned down to rest her cheek on the crown of dark hair. “I understand, dear.”

The younger woman sniffed, “I just get so worried about the baby, Victoria, and I didn’t want everyone else to worry, but I knew you would see it in me. The doctor was so sure I wouldn’t be able to carry it; and now, well, now I’m even more afraid for it.”

“But you’re so close to your due date now,” the silver-haired matriarch soothed. “You had Lizzie V. this early and she’s just fine.”

“But she’s slower than the boys,” Samantha leaned back to look up into her mother-in-law’s eyes.

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, yes, she is. She was a good month older than the boys were before she started crawling, and walking, and talking. My not being able to carry her to full term has affected her, I’m sure, Victoria.”

The older woman took the younger’s chin in her hand, “Listen to yourself, Samantha. Lizzie V. was born a month early so, of course, she’s going to be a month older when she does things. But that month’s difference will mean nothing in another year. Lizzie V. is just perfect, darling.”

“But I’m so worried about this baby, Victoria,” Samantha’s voice quaked as she gently stroked her stomach. “When, when Jocelyn miscarried her second one, Nathaniel told her that it was probably for the best, that it’s usually nature’s way of taking care of a baby that wasn’t quite right. What if I’ve been trying to hold onto a baby that’s not all right? What if when it’s born, it doesn’t live or it has problems that it will have to deal with all of its life?”

Victoria reached down to softly pat Samantha’s bulging stomach, “We will love this child just as God sends it to us. Together, as a family, we will face whatever happens.”

Samantha rested her head against Victoria again and tightened her arms around the older woman’s waist. “I’m sorry I’m such a bother to you,” she whispered.

“You’re not a bother,” Victoria caressed the pale cheek. “I much prefer knowing how you’re feeling, what you’re afraid of, then sitting in Stockton, not knowing, trying not to imagine the worst.”

“Oh, it’s just that I know YOU were never a bother to anyone when you were carrying your children,” Samantha blurted out the source of her deepest feelings of inadequacy.

Victoria’s laugh didn’t really surprise her; she knew that her mother-in-law would tell her that she was being ridiculous. What she said, however, completely surprised Samantha, “Oh, heavens, if you only knew.”

“Oh, please, Victoria, I know you. You do everything so perfectly.”

“Now, young lady, we’ve already established I haven’t done a very good job of being a mother-in-law,” the older woman eased away from her daughter-in-law. “Here, let’s get you more comfortably settled in this bed.” She adjusted the pillows behind Samantha and smoothed the covers over her lap.

“You’re a wonderful mother-in-law,” Samantha protested. “And I know you did fine carrying your children. Heavens, Jarrod and Nick had no idea what morning sickness was, so I know you never disrupted their lives when you were carrying Audra and Eugene.”

“I didn’t disrupt their lives because Silas saw to their breakfast every morning and they went off to school so they weren’t around when I was avoiding the smells of coffee and bacon so I wouldn’t start gagging,” Victoria said dryly. “There are many times that I wish Tom were here to enjoy our children and grandchildren. However, if he were here right now, he would just be more than happy to tell you how much I disrupted his life.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“Believe it, dear. Tell me, have you ever thrown up on Peter?”

“No!” Samantha’s eyes flew wide open. “Of course not!”

“Hmm, well, I did on Tom. Twice.”

“No!”

“Yes, dear, when I was carrying Jarrod. He learned to move faster after that.”

“Victoria! I just can’t believe it.”

“Oh, that’s not all. When I found out I was carrying Aaron, I cried for two months straight.”

“Why?”

“Heavens, I had Nick who wasn’t quite four and Peter who wasn’t yet two. Jarrod was a well-behaved 8-year-old, but the other two . . . . I told Tom that I just couldn’t handle having another Barkley son. All he said was maybe it would be a girl. That just made me cry harder. Of course, eventually I got past the tears, but when we lost Aaron when he was only two months old . . . oh, Samantha, I blamed myself. I thought it was because I hadn’t wanted him at first.”

It was Samantha’s turn to sooth, “Victoria, you know that’s not why it happened.”

“I know, or at least I tell myself that. But the guilt, the pain, it hurt our marriage, Samantha. For so long, we didn’t talk. And then when I lost the babies . . . .”

“You lost other babies?” this was the first that Samantha had heard of any losses other than baby Aaron whose grave was next to Tom Barkley’s.

“Three,” Victoria whispered, her eyes focused somewhere in the past. “Three in addition to Aaron. A little girl between Jarrod and Nick, stillborn, and then two miscarriages between Aaron and Audra.”

“Oh, Victoria, I’m so sorry,” her daughter-in-law’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, dear, I don’t mean to upset you. That’s the last thing you need now.”

“No, no, please, I haven’t had anyone to talk to like this in so long. None of my close friends now have children; they don’t understand about the fear we have, the inadequacies that we feel, do they?” Samantha’s green eyes looked straight into her mother-in-law’s soft gray ones.

Victoria smoothed the younger woman’s hair back, “No, no they don’t understand. When I found out I was carrying Audra, I was so afraid that there would be another miscarriage. Poor Tom, I would hardly let him out of my sight during the months leading up to her birth. I clung to him so. After she was born, I still didn’t want him to go out of town. I was so afraid that something would happen like it had with Aaron. I couldn’t face the idea of waking up one morning and finding her gone and having to face it alone. Of course, forcing him to stay around the house so much had its disadvantages. Audra was only nine months old when I realized I was carrying Eugene.”

“Oops,” her daughter-in-law smirked.

“Oops, nothing,” Victoria snapped. “I was so angry with Tom.”

“Angry with Tom!” Samantha couldn’t hold back her laugh.

“Oh, I stomped around for weeks, complaining that I wasn’t going to have Audra out of diapers before I had the next one. And, of course, I blamed Tom. He put up with my anger for weeks but all my complaints finally caused him to lose his temper. One morning, after a particularly bad bout of morning sickness, I snapped at him that it wasn’t fair that I was the one who was sick given that this was all his fault. He just whirled around and snapped back that he didn’t remember me complaining when we were making this baby.”

Samantha hooted, “Mon Dieu, Victoria, what did you say?”

“Well, I turned about three shades of red and I quit complaining,” her mother-in-law replied dryly and then began to laugh at herself.

* * * * * * * *

The telegrams were waiting for Jarrod when he arrived at his office the next morning. Smiling he first read the one from his mother, “Am staying in city until baby arrives. Have Silas pack trunk with my things and ship to Peter on next train.” The last line, however, brought a cringe, “Will discuss things later with Jarrod Heath. Love Mother.”

Well, he hadn’t quite dodged a scolding for withholding information on Samantha. At least he wasn’t going to have to shoulder all the blame. Heath and Eugene were just as guilty as he was. Sighing, he opened the second envelope, “All well. Visit soon. Have hidden all wooden spoons. Pete.”

Chapter 31

Audra studied her face in the surface of the mirror. Just try saying it, she told her reflection. It’s not all that bad.

“Mother,” she watched her mouth move. No, no, she needed to use her sweet, obedient daughter look. She tried again, “Mother, there’s something I need to tell you.”

No, she shouldn’t warn mother, she should just say it, “Mother, I have such interesting news.” Hmm, interesting news didn’t quite describe this situation. Darn, darn, why couldn’t Samantha be the one to break this news? But her sister-in-law was dodging the issue, saying Audra should be the one to explain things. And forget Peter, he just pretended he couldn’t understand why anyone was the least concerned. And Barton, darn him, just grinned and said he wasn’t really part of the family yet, so his best course of action was just to keep his mouth shut.

Try it again, she commanded herself. “Mother, you’ll never guess what happened.” She sighed, that didn’t sound quite right either. She glanced at the clock on the mantle. In 20 minutes it wouldn’t matter anyway. Shoot, why had she . . . they . . . delayed in telling Mother. They could have told her anytime Wednesday . . . or Thursday . . . or even this morning. But, no, now that the crisis was upon them all she could would be to blurt it out.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she wrinkled her nose in disgust and stood. Now or never, Audra. Just go find Mother and tell her. But Mother wasn’t to be found upstairs. She wasn’t in Lizzie V.’s room getting her up from her nap and ready to go outside to play nor was she in Peter and Samantha’s bedroom where Samantha was finishing up reading a story to the boys. That meant she had to be downstairs and Audra set off determined to find Victoria and relieve herself of the burden she was carrying. However, just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, a knock interrupted her mission.

“Audra,” Christiana greeted her exuberantly. “How’s everything going?”

“Wonderful,” Audra accepted Christiana’s hug. “Samantha’s had no real problems since we saw you Monday; the doctor said yesterday that all seems to be going fine; and, best of all, Mother arrived Wednesday.”

“Your mother’s here?” Christiana blinked in surprise. Jarrod’s last letter from Sacramento dated Tuesday and his telegram from Stockton on Wednesday had said nothing about Victoria coming to San Francisco. “I didn’t realize she was coming so soon. I thought you didn’t expect her until the first of April.”

“She surprised us all. She just decided to come Wednesday morning and took the early train.”

Christiana lowered her voice and glanced around, “How’s it going?”

Audra smiled and also spoke softly, “Fine. Mother was a little upset initially that we hadn’t told her, but she and Samantha worked through things and are getting along wonderfully. I got a light scolding for not being totally truthful with Mother, and I imagine the boys will get the same, but everything’s just fine now. Lizzie V. and the little boys are enjoying having their grandmother here, and I think it’s even taken a little bit of the weight off of Peter’s shoulders to have Mother here.”

“Good,” Christiana returned the smile. “So now all we do is wait.”

Audra’s reply was interrupted by her mother’s voice. “Christiana,” Victoria came through the sitting room to the entry with a smiling Lizzie V. balanced on her hip. “What a lovely surprise . . . but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Jarrod and Heath both mentioned a gathering of women on Fridays and that you were here. Is this a regular event?”

“Pretty regular,” Christiana leaned forward to press her cheek against Victoria’s. “I try to get by to see Samantha at least twice a week and there’s group of us who try to be here on Friday afternoons just to laugh and talk. You are going to join us, aren’t you.”

“Oh, thank you, dear, but I’ve got a date with my grandchildren. I understand that Nicky and Tom’s friend Adam will be coming over this afternoon so we’re all going to go out into the back garden to play and then I’m going to serve them milk and cookies. Grandmothers get to do things like spoil their grandchildren’s appetites,” Victoria laughed.

At the mention of Adam’s name, Audra remembered her original mission. She needed to tell Mother now. But, before she could open her mouth, another knock at the front door interrupted her. Rolling her eyes, she hurried over to open the door. Of course, it was Becca Henderson, bearing a tray of éclairs. Introductions were made and the éclairs were oohed and awed over. And then Tom and Nicky, released from their afternoon studies by their mother, came tumbling down the stairs and received hugs and kisses from Christiana and Becca. Before Audra had any hope of buffering the news, there was a final knock at the door. Tom, of course, rushed over to tug it open and his friend Adam came dashing in. And behind him was, of course, Adam’s “Aunt” Hester. Helplessly, Audra looked from a flustered Hester to her stunned mother.

Tom broke the silence, “Hi, Adam. Come meet my grandmother.”

“My, too,” Nicky snapped.

Her grandsons captured Victoria’s attention for the moment. With Lizzie V. still balanced on her hip, she knelt down so that she was on Adam’s level, “Hello, Adam. My name is Mrs. Barkley. I understand that you like to come over and play with Tom and Nicky in the garden out back.”

“Yeth, ma’am,” the little boy whispered shyly but did not take the hand she offered.

“It’s all right, Adam,” Tom said confidently. “Grandmother is real nice.”

“Real nice,” Nicky confirmed.

Adam hesitantly put his small hand in hers and solemnly shook her hand, but then offered her a shy sweet smile. Victoria laughed softly and reached up to caress the little boy’s soft cheek. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, Adam,” she said. “I imagine you’re ready to go outside to play with Tom and Nicky.”

Adam eagerly nodded his head, and Tom asked quickly, “You’re coming, aren’t you, Grandmother?”

“I’ll be out in a few minutes, darling,” she stood and patted his head. “I want to visit with Adam’s aunt for a few minutes. You boys go on.”

The three boys started toward the back of the house, but Nicky whirled around and whispered loudly, “Don’t forget the cookies, Granmudder!”

“I won’t, honey,” she promised and then turned her eyes back to the beautiful woman who had remained standing in the entry. “Hello, Hester, it’s so good to see you again.” She walked across the room and placed her free hand on the younger woman’s shoulder and leaned in to press her cheek against Hester’s.

“Mrs. Barkley,” Hester’s voice was softened by her obvious shock. “I, uh, I, uh, didn’t realize that you were here. I mean, Samantha and Audra didn’t mention that you would be arriving this week.”

“Oh, I surprised both my daughter and my daughter-in-law. I found out they, and my sons, were being a little secretive. I guess that’s Samantha’s condition wasn’t the only thing they weren’t telling me,” Victoria’s pointed look at Audra caused her daughter to blush.

“Oh, Mrs. Barkley, they were, I mean, I didn’t want to do anything to hurt Nick. I thought that if he never, if you all never knew that I was back in San Francisco. Well, I thought that would be best. I would have, that is, once I found out that Tom and Nicky were Audra’s nephews I would have stopped visiting but, it’s just, well, Adam enjoys being with them so much,” Hester stutteringly tried to explain.

“I am so sorry about your cousin, Hester. Audra and Jarrod and Heath all told us what a wonderful thing you have done, helping Adam through this difficult time. I’m so proud of you, Hester,” Victoria patted the young woman’s arm. “Now, if you girls will excuse me, Lizzie V. and I are going to go out to check on those boys and then see what we can do about fixing up a tray of cookies and lemonade.”

“Mrs. Barkley,” Hester reached out to touch Victoria’s arm. “Are you sure? I mean, I caused your family so much pain, I know.”

“Hester, please, go upstairs and make my daughter-in-law laugh,” Victoria nodded toward the stairs. “I think you’re absolutely the best medicine she could have now. We’ll talk later.”

“Yes, ma’am,” and for the first time since entering the house, Hester allowed herself a smile.

* * * * * * * *

Later that evening, after she had helped put her three grandchildren to bed, Victoria slipped back out to the garden. She drew her shawl tightly around herself to ward off the chill of the mid-March night. Settling herself into one of the comfortable chairs that overlooked the carefully trimmed hedges, she thought back over the day. Just as she was getting accustomed to the idea that her only daughter-in-law’s pregnancy had been in jeopardy since last fall, she had to confront a woman who had come very close to rending the very fabric of her family. Victoria tilted her head back to look up into the sky. Clouds blocked out the stars and the half-moon looked as if it were wrapped in cotton. Her mind slipped back through the years, to the days when it looked as if Hester Converse was going to be her first daughter-in-law . . . well, the first daughter-in-law that she knew of. At the time that Nick was engaged to Hester, Peter was already married to Samantha and they had Tom and were expecting little Nicky. But, of course, at that time the family had no idea whether Peter was even alive. So much had changed since that week four years ago . . . for both the Barkleys and, it seemed, Hester Converse.

After the younger women had spent their afternoon hours together, after Christiana had returned to her shop and Becca to her parents’ home on the other side of the back wall, Audra had suggested that Adam have dinner with the three Barkley children. Hester had hesitated but then realized that the offer was being made so that she and Victoria would have a chance to visit. So while the children ate in the kitchen, Nick’s mother and his former fiancée sat together in the back parlor and talked about the intervening years. Hester provided the details on what had happened to Adam’s mother, Marietta, the problems during her second pregnancy, the stillbirth of the baby daughter, the fever, and the death. Forcing herself not to think of her daughter-in-law who lay upstairs, Victoria had given her heartfelt condolences but then focused on what she had heard about the wonderful job Hester was doing with Adam.

“He was just so lost, Victoria,” Hester had explained. “After the funeral, I just couldn’t leave him. His father was throwing himself into his work, avoiding spending any time with Adam. I keep telling myself that I’ll go back to my old life once Adam has healed enough, once Bill starts taking an interest in him again.”

“But?” Victoria had asked.

Hester had hesitated for long time before she added, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave him then. And I’m not sure I want to go back to my old life.”

Victoria had smiled softly and patted Hester’s arm, “That’s the interesting thing about life, dear. We can’t go back; we can only go forward. I’m sure, when the time is right, you’ll know what to do next.”

Hester had just frowned and then shrugged her shoulders. The young woman had gone on to carefully ask about Nick, about how he was doing. Victoria had answered honestly that, as always, Nick was very much consumed with the running of the ranch and the other enterprises. When Hester had pressed, had said she hoped that Nick was happy, Victoria had replied that there were times that Nick was very happy but there were other times he seemed a little lost. She had concluded with “I think Nick is a lot like you, Hester. He’s just not sure how to move forward with his life. In time, however, I’m sure both of you will find your way.”

“Mother?” the deep voice pulled Victoria out of her musings.

“Peter, dear. Is everything all right with Samantha?” she turned to face her middle son.

“She’s fine. Sound asleep as a matter of fact,” he walked over to where she sat and held up an unlit cigar. “I came out to enjoy one last smoke before I headed off to bed, too. Will I bother you?”

She laughed softly, “Of course not. Come sit with me. We haven’t had any time to really visit.”

“No, I guess we haven’t,” Peter agreed as he lit his cigar and then sat down in the chair across from her. “I could blame it all on work but I have to confess that I have been avoiding you a little. I figure I’m going to get a pretty potent scolding for not letting you know what has been happening with Sam.”

Victoria smiled into the darkness. Her sons may be grown men, recognized as qualified, capable business leaders, but they all still tried to duck lectures from their mother. “It’s all right, Peter. Your first allegiance is to Samantha. I understand that you were only doing what she asked.”

“Yeah, well, I probably should have tried harder to reason with her,” he shifted in his seat.

“Yes, that probably would have been a good idea . . . .”

Peter defended himself, “I tried, Mother, really I did. But Sam can be pretty stubborn.”

“Hmm,” she would let him stew for a bit before she let him off. “Well, perhaps I can understand why you didn’t tell us about Samantha; however, I see no reason why you didn’t at least tell me about meeting Hester.”

“Ah, well, Samantha and Audra just thought it might hurt Nick’s feelings if he found out that they were socializing with Hester and, well, I just kinda went along with them.”

“Uh huh,” Victoria made her voice sound unconvinced but held back her grin. She knew he was expecting the ‘just because everyone else does it you shouldn’t just follow along’ speech. Because he was expecting it, knew that he deserved it, she knew she didn’t need to give it. Instead, she just focused on the more difficult issue, “Nick is going to be upset that you didn’t confide in him.”

“About Hester?”

“More so about Samantha. He cares for her a great deal; he thinks of her as another little sister to watch over. He’ll be hurt that he wasn’t told she was having problems.”

Peter fell back on his standard excuse, “Sam didn’t want to bother anyone.”

She cut him off, “Peter, I can understand why Samantha did not want me to know. Nick won’t understand why you couldn’t confide in him, brother-to-brother, and trust him not to let me know.”

“I know,” he dropped his head. “He’ll be angry with me.”

“He’ll be disappointed,” she corrected, “and he’ll cover the disappointment up with anger. You grew up with Nick, you know how he does.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Peter murmured.

“Peter, you and Nick have got to work out whatever is the problem between you two. I don’t like what it’s doing to the family.”

Peter sighed, “If I understood it, I’d do something about it.” Even in the dark, he could feel his mother’s disapproving look. “I’ll try to work on things with Nick, I promise. After the baby comes, I’ll make a trip to Stockton and see if we can’t talk through things.” Then he added, “What are we going to do about telling him about Hester?”

This time she sighed and equivocated, “I think for now we should just allow things to go along as they have been. We’ll face what to tell Nick when he decides to come to San Francisco.”

“All right,” Peter nodded. After a few moments, he added, “She’s very beautiful, isn’t she?”

Victoria smiled to herself, “Yes, she is.”

“I can see why Nick was attracted to her,” he continued. “Have Nick and Heath really patched up everything between them over her . . . I mean, has it really been put to rest?”

It was so long before she answered that Peter thought she either didn’t know the answer or didn’t like it. When she spoke, it surprised him, “Yes, it’s been put to rest. To tell you the truth, as much as it hurt at the time, it really turned out to be a good thing.”

“A good thing?” his voice dripped with doubt.

“Do you know how sometimes a shirt gets torn and it’s patched and the patch makes that portion of the shirt even stronger than the original? I think that’s what Hester’s actions did to Nick and Heath’s relationship. It made it even stronger.”

“Hmm,” Peter murmured. It was an interesting concept to consider.

“Well, darling, I think I shall go on to bed,” she rose and he automatically jumped to his feet. She rose on her tiptoes to brush his cheek with a kiss. “Your children will have me up early tomorrow morning, I know.”

“Mother, thanks, thanks for everything,” Peter whispered.

“You’re welcome, darling,” and her rustling skirts marked her passage from the garden.

Chapter 32

Jarrod Barkley grinned to himself as he tied off his horse at the hitching post beside Christiana’s shop. If he were lucky, he would be able to coax her into having lunch with him again. In the five days that he had been back in San Francisco he had managed to have lunch with her twice as well as a dinner night before last at Peter and Samantha’s. With Mother here now and Samantha so close to reaching her April 1st goal, the dinner had been relaxed and uplifting. With plates balanced on laps and on occasional tables scattered around Peter and Samantha’s bedroom, the group (Mother, Audra and Barton, Samantha and Peter, and he and Christiana) had spent the evening laughing and teasing. Jarrod had been a little surprised at how, on his first day back in San Francisco, Mother had only gently chided him for not being more truthful about what had been happening with Samantha. She had concluded with “I’m actually proud of how loyal you children are to each other. It’s what your father hoped for most.” And that was all that had been said about all the secrecy.

He had seen Christiana home night before last, and they had shared a kiss just inside her shop door. It had been more than the lips-softly-brushing-the-cheek kisses that he had given her several times in the past. No, this time, it was a real kiss. It was more than just a friendly gesture; it was a shared gesture of affection. He hadn’t wanted to press her too hard, so he had buried himself in his work yesterday. But, today, his last day in San Francisco for probably months, he didn’t want to forego the pleasure of her company.

The tinkling bell on her front door announced his arrival. Jarrod was immensely pleased when Christiana, who was seated behind her counter, glanced up and then broke into a wide smile. She seemed honestly pleased to see him. Obviously, she didn’t regret the kiss they had shared.

“Well, hello, Counselor Barkley, how are you today?”

“Very good, Mrs. Wilson. And you?”

“Oh, excellent.”

He removed his hat and leaned against the counter, “I was wondering if you would be interested in joining me for lunch today.”

“Oops,” she reached under the counter and drew out a saucepan. “You caught me. I – very unprofessionally – was sneaking an early lunch here at my counter.”

“Hmm,” he sniffed the air, “smells good. What is it?”

“Oh, just some vegetable soup I fixed this morning.”

“So, are you going to share?”

She gave him an exasperated look, “I’ll have to go upstairs to get another spoon and, I guess, a bowl. I’m sure the suave Barkley brother doesn’t eat from a saucepan.”

“Actually, the suave Barkley brother, although he much prefers lobster in a light wine sauce, has been known to eat his younger brother Heath’s god-awful campfire beans, straight from the skillet and using only a tortilla as a spoon. I adapt very well to my settings and right now I see no need for you to have to make a trip upstairs. Let’s just share the spoon and the saucepan,” he challenged her.

Christiana lifted her eyebrows at the challenge and then handed over the spoon, “All right, counselor, but I’m not sure your mother would approve of such table manners.”

“Actually, you’ll find that my mother also adapts well to whatever setting she is in. Who do you think taught me to use a tortilla rather than a spoon?”

She laughed and shook her head as she watched Jarrod sample the soup. She was unaccountably pleased when he smiled and nodded his head and took a second spoonful before he surrendered the spoon back to her. “It’s very good,” he complimented her. “I think I will have to add outstanding chef to your resume.”

She laughed again, “I think that adequate cook more accurately reflects my culinary skills.” She took another spoonful of the soup and then passed the utensil back to him. She reached under the counter and retrieved the plate of buttered toast points that she had also hidden there. After he returned the spoon to her, Jarrod reached over to snare one of the points and grinned at her shamelessly.

For several minutes they simply shared the spoon and consumed the soup and toast. Finally, Jarrod asked, “So why an early lunch at your counter? Do you have an appointment this afternoon?” He prepared himself for the disappointment. Christiana’s career was important, but he now wished he hadn’t wasted yesterday working. He could have made some time to be with her especially if he had known she was going to be busy today.

“No, actually, I’ve worked at keeping this afternoon free for weeks. I thought after lunch, if all was quiet, I’d close up shop and go over to Peter and Samantha’s and congratulate her on making it to April 1st.”

His smile widened, “Excellent idea. Do you mind if I come along with you?”

“I think that would be just fine,” Christiana’s eyes crinkled. “I’m surprised that ‘Pappy’ hadn’t thought of doing the same thing, especially since you’re leaving town tomorrow.”

“Actually, I had planned to stop by Peter and Samantha’s this evening,” he confessed. Truthfully he had had the plan of, after sharing lunch with Christiana, asking her to accompany him to his little brother’s home. He had thought that would be an excellent way of extending their day together perhaps through dinner and into the evening.

“I suspected as much,” she nodded knowingly. Then she added softly, “I bet you hate that you have to go to Sacramento tomorrow.”

He looked at her for a long moment before murmuring honestly, “For many reasons.”

Her eyes dropped down to the saucepan and she stirred the soup as she tried not to think of what the many reasons were and how she figured into them.

Jarrod broke the awkward silence, “So what do you have to do before you leave?”

“I need to lock up things down here and then run upstairs and clean these dishes and get my wrap,” she managed to look back up at him and smile.

“Go on and take care of things down here and I’ll watch the front door for you,” he offered. “I’ll need to take my horse down to the livery at the end of the street and then I’ll get us a hack. But, before I do that, I’m going to finish this soup.” He plucked the spoon from her fingers.

“Jarrod Barkley, how rude. The least you could do is share!”

“I’ll share,” he gave her a teasing smile. “Here, open up.”

He offered the full spoon to her. She gave him a skeptical look but then opened her mouth and let him slide the spoon in. When he started to pull it out, she bit down, her teeth trapping the spoon bowl in her mouth. He rolled his eyes and tugged gently. “Behave, young lady,” he scolded. She wrinkled her nose and then released the spoon. “Now, where did you learn your manners?” he asked before taking another bite of the soup himself.

“I just wasn’t sure if you were going to let me have any more or not,” Christiana protested. “And my manners are just as good as yours. At least I don’t have soup running down my chin.” She picked up her napkin from her lap and leaned forward to wipe the spot of soup off of Jarrod’s chin. As she dabbed near his mouth, his brilliant blue eyes held her luminous brown ones. After a long moment, she blushed and leaned back, “Well, you can have the rest of the soup. I need to be sure everything is put away in the darkroom and then I’ll run upstairs and take care of things there.”

“All right,” he murmured, his eyes still focused on hers. He felt a slight wave of disappointment, he had been a heartbeat away from leaning in and kissing those soft lips of hers.

Christiana slipped from her stool and managed not to hurry too much toward her darkroom. Between the two curtains that separated the work area from the rest of her shop, she hesitated and leaned against the wall. In this safe, dark place, she freed her emotions and she felt the blood rush up into her face. What in the world had she been doing? But she knew exactly what she had been doing. She had been flirting, flirting with Jarrod Barkley. Of course, he had started it all, wanting to share the spoon, then feeding her. But, what had possessed her to not let go of the spoon . . . it was almost, oh my gosh, it was almost a carnal gesture. What must he think? And then she had done that silly thing about wiping off his chin when all she could think of were those wonderful, sensuous lips, about how they would feel pressed against hers. The kiss they had shared night before last was nice, but she wondered what it would be like to have Jarrod Barkley really kiss her, to kiss her until her knees went weak and she could feel the pulse of her blood in her temples. She was certain that the suave Barkley brother could easily deliver such a kiss. It had been so long, so very, very long since she had been kissed like that. Allen had been dead four years . . . but they had stopped kissing when he had been diagnosed with consumption. And, even before that, their kisses had become lukewarm . . . when Allen must have realized that he had made a mistake in marrying her.

Shaking herself, she stopped the thoughts. No, not today, she would not let those thoughts intrude on today. Today she would enjoy herself; she would go with her friend Jarrod to check on Jarrod’s sister-in-law, Samantha, who happened to be Christiana’s best friend now. They would all celebrate that Samantha had carried her baby to full term, and they would all laugh and joke as they had so many times before. She would not think of old hurts, and she would not fixate on those wonderful lips of Counselor Barkley.

By the time she came back out of the storeroom, she had regained control of her emotions. As promised, Jarrod watched the front door of the shop while she went upstairs to take care of the dishes and to get her shawl. She felt a little uncomfortable as he closely watched her lock up her cash drawer and then lock the front door. Together they walked down to the livery to board his horse and then Jarrod hailed a hack for them. Only when they were sitting across from each other did she relax. Here, in a now familiar setting, they began to just visit again, talking about work, about Peter and Samantha’s children, about the rest of Jarrod’s family.

“Hmm, do you think we can convince Peter to play his violin tonight,” Christiana had already made the jump that they would be having supper with the family again. It just seemed like the natural thing to do.

“I imagine that if Samantha asks him, he’ll do it in a heartbeat,” Jarrod smiled at her. “Peter will do just about anything to please Samantha.”

“I know,” she agreed. “He’s so devoted to her. Becca Henderson said she’s so glad it’s warming up so that everyone is leaving their windows open longer in the evenings. She said she loves to sit up in her bedroom and listen to Peter serenade Samantha. It’s so romantic.”

"Ah, my little brother, the consummate romantic," Jarrod smiled at her.

“I think Audra has Peter convinced to bring his violin to her wedding so that he can serenade her and Barton during the reception,” Christiana confided. “She says she can’t imagine anything more romantic than her and Barton dancing to just Peter’s violin music.”

“I imagine if Audra wants it, Peter will do it. He’s just as bad as the rest of us in spoiling her,” Jarrod made the confession easily.

“I’m not sure if it’s spoiling or just being very loving, indulgent brothers,” she smiled at him. “Brothers can be that way with their only sisters.”

He started to ask her about whether she spoke from experience but decided against such a direct interrogation. He wanted to know about her, about all of her past, but he instinctively knew he had to take things very slowly. Instead, he asked, “Well, do you think Tom and Nicky will be that way toward Lizzie V. if this one is a boy and she turns out to be the only girl?”

“They already are . . . just watch them,” she laughed.

By the time they had arrived in front of the San Francisco Barkleys’ home, the silliness in her shop had been seemingly forgotten by them both. But, as Jarrod helped her down from the hack, Christiana thought he kept his hands around her waist for perhaps just a moment too long and when she looked quickly up into his eyes she thought she saw just a flicker of something. But then he released her and turned to pay the driver.

Jarrod opened the front gate, but just as they started down the walk to the house a shout caused them both to turn. Literally loping down the street was a grinning Eugene.

“So you got the word,” the youngest Barkley brother said.

“The word?” Jarrod was honestly mystified.

“Yeah, about the baby.”

Christiana and Jarrod exchanged a quick look. Was there a problem? No, Gene was smiling. “The baby?” Christiana asked cautiously.

“Yeah,” Gene grinned at her. “I got a telegram from Sam. It said if I didn’t want to miss the arrival of the newest Barkley I’d better hurry across the bay. Man, I just made the ferry. Gosh, I hope I’ve made it in time.”

“The baby’s coming?” Jarrod just stared at his little brother.

“Yep, that’s what the telegram said. C’mon, hurry up, let’s go see how things are going,” Gene turned and started trotting down the walk.

Jarrod just stood rooted to his spot, his mouth hanging open. Christiana, however, hooted with laughter, “Can you believe that Samantha? She made it exactly to April 1st! Come on, Jarrod, let’s go see if the baby is already here!”

Numbly, Jarrod followed the other two into the house. Peter and Samantha’s cook and housekeeper, Carlotta, was just coming down the stairs, and Gene and Christiana converged on her, begging for information.

“The baby is not here yet, but things are getting close. Mrs. Barkley sent Sean for the doctor just a bit ago. She and Mr. Peter are upstairs with Miss Samantha. Marie and Miss Audra fed the children their lunch a little early, and Nicky and Lizzie V. are napping downstairs in the bedroom just off from the kitchen. Miss Audra has Tom out in the garden practicing his reading. Marie will take the other children out there when they wake up – which will probably be soon. Mr. Barton will be here to help with the children once he finishes a meeting at the bank,” Carlotta efficiently ticked off the location of everyone in the family.

“Good, we made it before the baby arrived,” Gene immediately started up the stairs.

Jarrod automatically barked, “Eugene! Where are you going?”

“Up to see Sam.”

“You are not; that’s not proper.”

“It’s fine, Jarrod,” Gene never hesitated. “Sam’s expecting me and I’ll knock before I go in.”

Jarrod just stared at his youngest brother’s back as the boy hurried up the stairs. He turned stunned eyes toward the grinning Christiana. She just shrugged and replied, “Well, I’m going up, too. I want to know how things are going, too. Stay down here if you want.”

He watched as she nimbly trotted up the stairs and turned toward Peter and Samantha’s room. His need to know won over his sense of propriety and he absently nodded a thanks to Carlotta and started up the stairs. He had no idea whether Gene had knocked or not, because by the time he arrived in front of the master bedroom, the door was open and Christiana was standing frozen in the doorway. He slipped up behind her and saw the tableau that had her transfixed.

Jarrod was surprised to see Samantha on her feet, but there she was, standing behind one of the brocade chairs that had become a fixture in her bedroom. Her hands were tightly gripping the back of the chair and her face was set in a grimace of pain. Peter stood beside his wife, one hand on her shoulder, the other rubbing the length of her back. He was frowning and biting his lip as he watched his wife battle with the pain that was almost doubling her over. Gene was in front of Samantha, standing with one knee resting on the seat of the chair. One hand was lying on her small ones gripping the chair back, the other held his watch, and his eyes moved from Samantha’s face to the face of the watch. All the time he was murmuring encouragingly, “You’re doing good, Sam. It won’t be much longer. Just hold on. You’re doing good.”

And Gene was right, for in just a moment Samantha’s face began to relax and she took a deep breath. Jarrod let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and heard Christiana do the same. They exchanged a shaky look but both returned their eyes to Samantha. At that moment, Victoria stepped into the scene. She calmly wiped a damp towel across Samantha’s forehead and patted the younger woman’s arm.

After a few moments, Samantha took another deep breath and then gave a small laugh, “Whew, that was a hard one.”

Her mother-in-law patted her arm again, “I know, dear, but that’s what we want. It’s good that the pains are getting harder and closer together. It just means it won’t be too much longer before this baby is here.”

“It won’t be too soon for me,” Samantha sighed and patted her big belly.

“Has your water broken?” Gene asked, his voice low and serious.

“Eugene!” Jarrod automatically scolded.

“It’s all right, Jarrod,” Samantha murmured, shifting and rolling her head to release the tension in her neck.

“And, yes, her water broke this morning,” Victoria replied. “I found her cleaning it up this morning after Peter had gone to work. She wouldn’t let me send for Peter for two hours . . . until we knew that the pains were going to continue.”

“So the pains have been steady?” Gene continued to interrogate.

“Yes,” Samantha said patiently as she continued to struggle to get her breath, “steady, regular, getting closer together, and getting harder.”

“Which is just what we want,” Victoria gently squeezed her daughter-in-law’s shoulder.

“I know, I know,” Samantha nodded, continuing to breathe deeply and moving one hand off the chair to rub the small of her back. “Just keep explaining that to your son. He can’t seem to understand that there’s a reason they call it labor.”

Jarrod glanced up at Peter’s face. His little brother was frowning deeply as he continued to massage his wife’s shoulders. He could see the bright sheen of perspiration on Peter’s forehead and he could see the worry in his eyes. It seemed at this moment that Peter was the one who was suffering most. At a loss as to what to do to make things better for his brother, Jarrod finally blurted out, “Shouldn’t Samantha be in bed?”

Peter huffed, “That’s what I think but I’ve been overruled.”

“No, it’s better if I stay up and keep walking. That will hurry things along,” Samantha rolled her shoulders.

“Yeah, well, you’ve been stuck in bed for months. Being up and walking around now is just going to use up the last of your strength. I just think you should save your strength for, well, for umm later,” the lines between Peter’s eyes deepened.

“Quit worrying, Peter, I have plenty of strength to do this,” she replied, pushing a lock of stray hair out of her eyes. “Just ask your mother.”

“She’s going to be fine, Peter,” Victoria promised.

“Yeah, she’s doing great,” Gene echoed. “And staying up on her feet is a good thing. It’ll help keep her contractions strong, and gravity will help bring the baby down.”

“Eugene!” Jarrod grimaced. Did his little brother have absolutely no sense of propriety?

“Will you quit talking like you know what’s going on,” Peter snapped.

“Hey, I do know a lot about what’s going on,” Gene defended himself. “I’ve done a lot of reading and I’ve talked to both Dr. Vanders and Dr. Anderson.”

Samantha found the strength to jump in to defend her brother-in-law, “Peter, hush, you know Gene has been a wonderful help through all of this. He’s the one who explained all the dates to me and got me to lying on my side so that it put less pressure on the baby and figured out a way for me to take a demi bath and held my hand all the way to Stockton when you were being such a mule-headed jackass . . . .”

“I was not a mule-headed jackass,” Peter’s eyes glittered.

“You can be,” his wife replied shortly.

“That’s not true,” he started to argue.

Victoria immediately tried to stop the squabbling, “Peter, this is not the time to have a difference of opinion.”

“Difference of opinion!” he glared at his mother. “She called me a mule-headed jackass.”

“Which you are sometimes . . . just like your father was . . . but, right now, we all need to concentrate on keeping Samantha focused on getting this baby here,” she replied calmly.

Samantha twisted her head around and smirked up at her husband, “Hah! Your mother sides with me.”

“I’ve noticed she’s been doing that a lot lately,” he shot back.

“Goodness, you two, I am not taking sides. Right now I’m just concerned that we get my newest grandbaby here, and you two need to work together on this,” Victoria said firmly.

Despite her growing discomfort, Samantha’s eyes danced as she teased, “We did work together on this . . . nine months ago.”

This time Victoria scolded her daughter-in-law, “Heavens, Samantha, that’s enough of that. You need to quit joking and start walking again so that we can keep the contractions coming.”

Samantha shook her head and grasped the back of the chair again, “I don’t have to walk to bring on the next contraction.”

“Next one starting already?” Gene reached out to again cover her hands with his.

“Oh, yes,” Samantha gasped and bit her lip. “Oh, Peter, my back.”

“Hurting again?” Peter began to rub her spine.

“Oh, yes, oh, yes, it hurts. Rub harder, Peter, please. Oh, oh!”

Jarrod could see the muscle tense in Peter’s jaw; his little brother was very worried but he dutifully shifted his weight so that he could rub his wife’s back harder. The lawyer did not realize that he had shifted his own hands to gently grasp Christiana’s shoulders. Other than Samantha’s occasional gasps and groans and Mother’s and Eugene’s soft words of encouragement, the room was quiet. Finally, the pain seemed to begin to ease its grip on Samantha.

“Good girl,” Gene checked his watch once more and patted Samantha’s hands. “Easing off now?”

Samantha just nodded and leaned back against Peter. Her face was flushed and she was panting slightly. Peter bent down and rested his cheek on her hair. “Honey, why don’t you lie down for just a little bit, try resting for a few minutes. You’ve been on your feet for hours.”

“No, I’m all right, really,” she gasped softly.

“Mother?” Peter entreated his mother.

But Victoria answered confidently, “Samantha will know when she needs to lie down, Peter. Trust her.”

Peter probably would have argued further but a new voice captured everyone’s attention. “Well, I knew I should have kept my calendar open on April 1st. I should have known that the very obstinate Mrs. Peter Barkley was going to get her way.”

Jarrod turned quickly and breathed a sigh of relief; he instantly recognized Dr. Vanders. He and Christiana moved smoothly to the side to allow the doctor to advance into the room. “Well, Eugene, I see you’ve made it for the big event. Have you been here long?”

“No, just a short time. I was actually afraid I might be too late,” the youngest Barkley brother also moved aside so that the doctor could stand in front of Samantha.

“Well, how are we doing, Mrs. Barkley?” the doctor’s fingers gently circled Samantha’s wrist as he pulled out his own pocket watch.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m having a baby and I’m just a little uncomfortable,” she replied tersely.

“I see our spirit is still intact,” the doctor smothered a smile. “So the contractions are getting pretty strong?”

“Hard and close,” Peter replied.

“I timed the last two, both lasted almost a minute and a half and they were about three and a half minutes apart,” Gene added.

“Really,” the doctor’s eyebrows went up. “Are you feeling the urge to push yet?”

“Not yet,” Samantha continued to breathe in short pants. “And thank you both for allowing me to answer that question.” Both Gene and Peter flushed.

“Hmm,” Dr. Vanders murmured. “Well, let’s get you through the next pain and then I’ll do a quick check to see how far along you are.”

Samantha nodded and leaned back to rest her head against Peter’s shoulder. She accepted the sip of water that Victoria offered her. Too soon she felt the contraction starting to build. She only barely heard the instructions that Dr. Vanders began to give for what to do as soon as the contraction ended. She did, however, hear Peter’s argument when the doctor said that he and not Eugene would need to step out.

“I think you’ve got that backwards,” Peter’s voice was terse.

But Dr. Vanders’ tone was calming, “Samantha has told me that she wanted Eugene to be here . . . through the baby’s birth.”

“Well, I can be here, too. She’s my wife; it’s my child.”

“No, Peter,” Samantha managed to groan.

“Sam, please, we’ve agreed, this is our last baby. There’s no reason for me not to stay this time.”

“No, please, Peter, you need to go.”

“Dammit, no, Sam, I want to be here.”

“Ooohhh,” she couldn’t hold back the cry. This pain was the worse one yet. “Oh, my back, please rub my back.” She almost sobbed.

Peter complied immediately, “See, you need me here. To rub your back.” There was a shaky edge to his voice.

“Gene can rub my back.”

“No, I want to,” he cringed at how childish his words sounded.

“Peter, please, mon cher, do not argue. I cannot do this if we are going to argue.”

Peter opened his mouth and then clamped it shut. His mouth was set in a grim line but he continued to massage his wife’s back until the pain passed and she again relaxed her grip on the back of the chair. Victoria immediately began to guide Samantha toward the bed. For a moment, Peter refused to move. Dr. Vanders gently patted his shoulder and nodded toward the doorway, “Peter.”

When all Peter did was glare at him, Jarrod called to his brother, “C’mon, Pete. Let’s step out for just a few minutes.” He extended a hand toward the blond brother.

With his jaw tightly clamped and his blue eyes flashing, Peter finally gave in and headed out the door. He pivoted and turned to face the door that was closed in his face. Jarrod knew that it was fear for his wife and unborn child that was causing his brother’s short temper. He hesitantly dropped a hand on his brother’s shoulder and was relieved when Peter didn’t shrug it off.

“They’re going to be all right, Peter,” he started.

“You don’t know that, Jarrod,” Peter said through tight lips.

Taking a deep breath, Jarrod searched his mind for the right thing to say, “No, I don’t know that, but I feel it. Everything is going to be all right.”

At first his brother did not respond, simply continued to stare at the closed door. Finally, he repeated, “I don’t know why she won’t let me stay with her. I want to be there for her.”

“Oh, Peter,” Christiana reached out to pat his arm. “She knows you want to be there, but she also knows that any time she’s in pain that it upsets you. She told me that she sees the guilt in your eyes . . . as if you’ve done something wrong.”

“It’s just, it’s just that, that I wish I could take some of the pain for her. It’s not fair that she has to do it all,” he whispered.

“It may not seem fair, Peter, but it is the way things are. Samantha understands that; she’s been through this before and she knows that the pain won’t last all that long and that she’ll be able to stand it. But she won’t be able to handle it if you’re there, getting all upset every time that she lets out a peep,” she continued to pat his arm.

Peter’s eyes flickered from the door to Christiana’s earnest face, “You and Sam have been talking?”

“You know we do, Peter. You have to let her do this her way, do what works best for her,” she encouraged. “I know that you think she’s bearing all the pain, but I think you have to bear a special kind of pain. You have to bear the pain of being the useless pappa, stuck out here, wondering what’s going on, waiting to hear.”

Peter took a deep breath and let it out in a slow sigh. He was slowly resigning himself to the reality that he was, in fact, going to be excluded from the birth of his child. The door suddenly opened and Dr. Vanders stepped out. “How is she?” Peter demanded.

“She’s doing very well, Peter,” the doctor smiled. “Things are progressing right along. She’s fully dilated and she should get through this period of particularly painful contractions very soon. Then it’ll just be a process of pushing that new baby out.”

“Just tell me, is the baby positioned correctly?” Peter’s voice was strained.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a breach birth,” Dr. Vanders soothed. “This will be nothing like Nicky’s birth, I’m certain.”

“But she’s never had back pain like this before.”

“Well, that just means the baby is probably going to make a ‘face up’ presentation,” the doctor calmly replied.

“What’s that mean?” Peter demanded.

“It just means that instead of the baby resting with its back facing the mother’s front,” Dr. Vanders demonstrated by curving his hand over his own midsection, “this baby is resting with its back against Mrs. Barkley’s back.”

“That’s going to make it harder on her, isn’t it,” the father said grimly.

“Well, if she were a first time mother, I would worry, but since this is Mrs. Barkley’s fourth baby in six years,” the doctor started.

Peter interrupted, “I know, we’ve had our children too close together. We should have spaced them out more.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all, Peter,” the medical man smiled gently. “I was just saying that your wife’s body is accustomed to delivering children. She’ll have no trouble delivering this baby.”

“You’re sure?” Peter pressed.

“I’m very confident,” the doctor smiled. “Now, I need to get back in and see how things are progressing. We’ll let you know the good news once the baby arrives.”

“Doctor, wait, is it going to be all right with Gene in there? I mean, is this the right thing to do?” Peter was obviously torn.

“I think it’s the right thing on two accounts. First, it’s what Mrs. Barkley wants and, second, it’s a wonderful opportunity for a doctor-to-be. Delivering a baby is one of the most joyous tasks in this profession. To get to experience that before you’re even a doctor . . . well, it’s a splendid gift that your wife is giving your brother,” Dr. Vanders gave one more reassuring smile and then stepped back into the bedroom.

As he watched his younger brother again stare at the closed door, Jarrod wondered if he would be able to get Peter to go downstairs to wait on the baby. Maybe he should offer to go down and at least get his brother a glass of brandy to soothe his nerves. Before he could act, however, the door to the room opened and Gene stepped out.

“She threw you out?” Peter said it almost hopefully.

“No, she sent me with a message. She said for you not to worry and that it’ll be my job to know when to get you . . . whatever happens,” the youngest brother explained.

“Your job?” Peter was skeptical.

“My job . . . and I promise I’ll do it right, Peter. I’ll let you know when you need to get up here. Look, why don’t you take Tom . . . and if Nicky and Lizzie are awake, them, too . . . out into the backyard. I’ll signal you from the window. If you stay busy with the little ones, it’ll make things pass more quickly for you. I promise, Peter, I’ll let you know as soon as there’s a need,” Gene reached out to gently squeeze his brother’s shoulder. “Go on, Pete.”

Jarrod was relieved when Peter finally nodded his head. Jarrod exchanged a small smile with Gene before the young man slipped back into the bedroom. With a gentle hand, Jarrod urged Peter downstairs. They found Audra with the children down in the kitchen, enjoying a little snack. Audra was doing an admirable job of hiding any concerns she had as she entertained the children. Jarrod watched Peter wipe away his own frown and force a smile for his children. After the children finished their snack, the group went into the back yard. The boys wanted to play in their tree house so the whole group trouped out to the back of the property. Christiana held Lizzie V. on her lap and, much to the little girl’s delight, Jarrod pushed them in the swing. They were only out there for a short while before Barton also joined them. Jarrod was impressed with how calm Peter was acting, but he noticed that his brother’s eyes often strayed to the window of his bedroom. They were all involved with the children, however, when the voice interrupted them.

“Peter!”

All their eyes turned toward the second story of the house. Jarrod’s heart dropped into his stomach when he saw Gene leaning far out the now opened window and shouting again, “Peter!”

Continued…