The Meaning of Family

Part 1

by Torie

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the author. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

Summary: When Audra Barkley Lightfoot returns to Stockton with her twin children Tommy and Ellen, twelve years after Audra hears a rumor Tom Lightfoot's dead, a racial war starts against the Lightfoot twins and their father who's still alive.

"You Barkleys, you never give up, do ya?" (Tom Lightfoot in the episode: "Lightfoot")

Audra Barkley hoped that Tom Lightfoot's campaign at the capital actually was working. Tom had graduated at Harvard the previous year. He had spent all of this previous year trying to improve conditions for his people, the Modoc Indians.

Tom was a full-blooded Modoc. The town of Stockton still didn't like him, even though he had a White man's education. The Modoc's were seen as savages. Audra had known Tom since they were children. Tom used to play with her and Nick at a fort on Barkley land.

Tom was trying to make the Modoc Reparations Bill into law. It would be wonderful if he succeeded. After the trouble the year before in Stockton, Audra hoped that Tom's ideas would work. The year before Tom had almost gotten killed by Sheriff Fred Madden out at Fort Barkley.

When he graduated from Harvard Law School he came to Stockton to visit the Barkleys. When Lil Bailey and Ben Watson accused him of murder, Tom went on the warpath. After being shot Tom was asked to be legal council for the House of Representatives in California.

It took Audra only a few weeks to realize that she loved Tom and she knew that he loved her. Tom, of course, wouldn't ask her to marry him. If Audra married him and had his children, her reputation would be damaged.

Tom was coming back this afternoon to Stockton. Jarrod said he was taking a brief vacation. The House worked Tom to exhaustion as Jarrod said. Audra was worried that Tom's health would suffer. Tom's arm had healed from the gunshot wound, but Audra hoped that wound hadn't stopped Tom from being a lawyer.

Audra put a flower in a vase, her feelings no secret from Victoria Barkley.

Victoria pushed Audra's long blond hair away from her face. "Audra?" Victoria asked, her voice concerned.

"Am I that obvious, Mother?" Audra asked, smiling at Victoria as she rested her hands on the porcelain vase.

"You are worried about something, Audra," Victoria pointed out, looking into Audra's blue eyes.

"It's Tom. It's been a whole year since he became Legal Council of Indian Affairs. I'm worried about him, Mother," Audra said, her voice catching.

"Audra, you love him, don't you?" Victoria said, catching what her daughter hadn't said.

"Mother, I love him. But I shouldn't love him. If I do and we marry, nobody in Stockton would accept our children or our marriage," Audra said, voicing the worries in her heart.

"Audra, you love him. If you love Tom Lightfoot it shouldn't matter what anyone says," Victoria said, her tone firm.

"Mother, you don't mind that I love Tom?" Audra asked, her surprise evident in her eyes.

"I'm not completely oblivious, Audra. I've known that you loved him since you were a girl. Audra, if you love him you have my permission to marry him," Victoria said, her voice gentle.

Audra threw her arms around Victoria and kissed her mother's cheek. "Mother, I love you," Audra said, feeling her spirits lift high up. Audra turned back to her chore. She felt so happy that Victoria approved of Tom that nothing could have dampened her mood.

* * * * * * * *

Tom Lightfoot sat in the coach trying not to fall asleep. After a year Tom's job had made him more worn out than ever. It was nice of the Minister of Indian Affairs to let him take two weeks off. It would give him a chance to rest after the ugly fights he'd seen at the Senate and House meetings.

Being the only Modoc Indian to pass the bar exam at Harvard, Tom was still surprised that they had asked him if he'd be willing to be legal council. Audra had begged him to take the job. That it would be good for him and his people.

Audra. Tom sighed as he thought of the blue-eyed, blonde-haired Barkley.

Audra and her brother, Nick, had been his playmates when they were children. Tom felt as though he loved her. They were both the same age, but the only difference was that Tom was Indian and Audra was White. It would cause quite a stir for a Modoc Indian to marry a White woman.

And Tom didn't want to cause trouble for Audra and her family. Tom couldn't stop himself. He fell asleep, his shoulder-length hair blowing in the breeze. He slept for two straight hours, without even dreaming.

* * * * * * * *

"Stockton comin' up, Counselor Lightfoot!" The stagecoach driver yelled back at Tom, startling him out of a deep sleep.

Tom rubbed his dark brown eyes and gripped his briefcase. He had some briefs that he had to write out while on vacation. The thought of writing out those briefs made him feel sick to his stomach.

Tom looked out the window of the stagecoach. Little farms dotted the side of the road. The small farms had crops of grapes, olives, and oranges. One of the more major crops was children. Most farmers had huge families.

Tom wanted children of his own, but the Modoc women on the reservation were all married and Audra would never consider marrying him. To be married and have children would be a pie-in-the-sky dream.

As long as Tom had lived he had loved Audra. Even as children he thought she was the most beautiful White girl he had ever seen. He hadn't seen any other girl hold a candle to Audra Barkley.

Tom had to shake his head slightly. He had to keep reminding himself that he couldn't marry Audra. The stage stopped in front of the stage office.

Tom stepped out to see Jarrod Barkley's smiling face. This was how his last visit to the Barkleys had started. He hoped it wouldn't be a repeat of last time either. He knew that feelings toward the Modoc people hadn't changed since last time also. People still resented that an Indian had graduated from Harvard and was legal council to the Minister of Indian Affairs. That was obvious from the venomous glare on the stationmaster's face.

"Jarrod!" Tom greeted his friend.

Jarrod came up to Tom and gave his back a solid thump. "How are you, Tom? You look tired," Jarrod commented, his voice serious.

"I am tired, Jarrod. Guess you never thought you'd hear me say that," Tom said, rubbing his eyes with his hand.

Jarrod clamped a hand on Tom's broad shoulder. "Why don't I buy you a meal and take you out to the ranch where you can rest?" Jarrod asked.

Tom's dark eyes lit up at that suggestion. Some hot food and a warm bed were sounding better by the minute. "Sounds great, Jarrod. I'm so happy I don't have to hear arguments for two whole weeks!" Tom said, taking his briefcase out of the stagecoach.

"The arguments turning ugly, Tom?" Jarrod asked as they walked over to The Cattlemen's Hotel.

"You don't even know the half of it, Jarrod. How's your mother and Audra?" Tom asked, changing the subject.

"Fine. Mother and Audra have been fixing the house up for your arrival. They're so happy to see you," Jarrod said, understanding why Tom wanted to change the subject.

"I'm happy to see them too," Tom admitted as they walked into the hotel. As they ate Tom fought to stay awake. The steak, green beans, and potatoes tasted like Heaven to Tom.

* * * * * * * *

The Barkley mansion loomed up in front of Tom's eyes. Each time he saw it he was impressed with the size of the house. When his mother died of smallpox and his father drank himself to death, the Barkleys took him in as one of the family.

Tom and Jarrod got out of the buggy Jarrod had brought to town. Tom grabbed his briefcase and suitcase from the rear of the buggy. Jarrod opened the door for Tom. Tom went inside to be greeted by Victoria.

"Tom!" Victoria greeted Tom, hugging him as if she was his mother. Tom liked the idea of having Victoria Barkley for a mother. She was very kind and treated him like he was one of her sons.

"It's nice to see you, Mrs. Barkley," Tom said, smiling at the small woman.

Victoria Barkley's height was that of a teenager's. All of her children, even Audra, was taller than Victoria. But what Victoria lacked in height she more than made up for in a fiery personality.

"Tom!" Audra exclaimed, sounding like a foghorn on a ship as she came running into the room.

Tom looked at Audra. She was more beautiful than ever. Her long blonde hair was pulled up into an exquisite knot and her blue eyes were joyful.

Tom pushed some of his long hair out of his eyes. After eleven years of living among White people he had only cut his hair a few times, but never above his shoulders.

"You look wonderful, Audra," Tom said, handing Silas his luggage.

"Tom, how's your job?" Audra asked, looking into Tom’s eyes.

"Fine. We spend half the time arguing, but I feel we're getting a lot done," Tom said, squeezing her hand gently with his large hand.

Audra looked into Tom's dark-brown eyes. They looked happy to see her and Victoria, but they looked tired. Tom looked into Audra's bright-blue eyes. They looked both concerned and happy to see him.

"Audra, I'm all right," Tom said, sounding slightly irritable over her worry.

"I've been so scared for you, Tom. How's the Modoc Reparation Law coming along?" Audra asked, her tone serious.

"I've heard a lot of ugly arguments. I'm glad I don't have to hear them for two whole weeks," Tom said, sighing with relief.

"Silas, take Tom's things to his room please," Victoria said, stopping the conversation.

"Yes'm, Miz Barkley. Come with me, Mr. Tom," Silas said to the tall Indian.

Tom followed Silas, feeling his fatigue come back as he went to his room.

Silas laid Tom's suitcase and briefcase on his bed. "Thank you, Silas," Tom said to the old man.

"You're welcome, Mr. Tom. I'm glad you is back. Miss Audra loves you so much she was worried about you," Silas whispered confidentially to Tom.

Tom tried, without success, not to smile at Silas's comment. So Audra loved him as much as he loved her! A White woman loved him! After all the trouble he caused the year before with the Watson brothers and Lil Bailey, she still loved him!

"Thank you for telling me, Silas. I love her too," Tom said, sitting on his bed after moving his briefcase and suitcase.

"Have you told Miss Audra how you feel?" Silas asked Tom, putting clothes in the wardrobe.

Tom smiled as he pondered the question. "No. And she's not going to know either," Tom said, his jaw set in a stubborn look.

Silas looked at Tom surprised. When Tom got determined about something he wouldn't change his mind. You could move land and sea, but Tom Lightfoot wouldn't budge.

* * * * * * * *

After a long nap Tom walked downstairs to join the family for supper. A young cowboy with blond hair and blue eyes entered the house followed by Nick Barkley.

"Tom! How are ya?" Nick shouted, slapping Tom's back hard.

"It's nice to see you too, Nick," Tom said, pushing a lock of hair out of his eyes. Nick was a source of endless amusement to Tom. Nick was very loud. Even as children Nick had a problem with shouting in the house. Tom looked over at Heath.

Heath was trying hard with no success, not to laugh at Nick's loud greeting. Tom hadn't met Heath when he came to Stockton last time. Heath had been at a horse auction in Modesto. As far as Tom could tell Heath and Audra looked like Tom Barkley; same blond hair and blue eyes. Heath's hair color was only a couple of shades darker than Audra's. Tom Lightfoot didn't know what to think about Heath. Heath's next words reassured tom that Heath was an okay person.

"Nice to meet ya, Tom. Sis has told me an awful lot about ya," Heath said, his tone quieter than Nick's boisterous tone. Heath shook Tom's hand firmly. Tom found Heath's greeting as welcoming as Nick's, Jarrod's, Audra's, and Victoria's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Heath," Tom said, his doubts about Heath's place in the family gone.

"Tom! You're awake!" Audra squealed, breezing into the foyer from the direction of the kitchen.

As Tom looked into Audra's eyes, he saw that what Silas said was true. Audra's eyes were full of love for him. Tom was determined not to tell Audra that he loved her as much as she loved him. He loved her enough not to ruin her life.

"Yes, I slept very well," Tom said, walking into the parlor with Nick, Heath, and Audra.

"I hope you're hungry. Mother and I cooked your favorite; wild duck," Audra said, sitting on an overstuffed chair.

"Sounds wonderful, Audra. I hope your cooking is better than it was 11 years ago," Tom said, a teasing smile in his dark-brown eyes.

"Nope. Mother had to cook that duck, I bet," Heath said, enjoying the chance to tease Audra.

Audra Barkley's cooking skills were pretty awful. Tom remembered the first time Audra had cooked for him. Tom still couldn't decide if it was a steak and potato on his plate or a blackened rock and charcoal briquette. He loved Audra, but if they even considered marriage he'd get a cook before he'd even let her in the kitchen!

"You two are terrible!" Audra huffed, glaring first at Heath and then at Tom. She stamped her foot in mock-anger.

The conversation might have continued if Victoria hadn't come into the foyer from the kitchen. "Dinner is on the table," Victoria said, smoothing her silver hair back.

"That's good, Mother. Boy howdy, we need to eat before Nick starts shouting about food," Heath said, a cherubic smile on his face.

Audra giggled. Tom liked her laugh. It sounded like rain falling on water or the soft sound of piano music. The whole family walked toward the dining room, the smell of duck wafted from the dining room. The meal made tom feel grateful that he had this family to care about him. Could he marry Audra? Could this family be his?

Tom fought to stay awake as he helped Heath and Nick with the chores. Heath was in his element teasing Nick. Tom found Heath's jokes funny, even though he didn't laugh. Apparently teasing Nick was a lot of fun as Heath had obviously found out.

Tom was so intent on his chores and listening to Heath gently rib Nick that the next question took him by surprise. "So, Tom, when are you going to marry our little sister?" Heath drawled in his Southern accent.

Tom nearly dropped his pitchfork at Heath's question. A red flush came up on his face and Tom uncharacteristically stuttered. "I...I... don't know what you mean, Heath," Tom said, trying not to let on the question bothered him.

"C'mon, Tom! Any man with half a brain knows that you have feelings for her. She's in love with you, so what's the problem?" Nick said, in his normally loud voice.

"I'm an Indian, Nick!" Tom shouted, letting out the reason why he couldn't marry Audra.

"Sis don't care about that. All she knows is that she loves you, Tom. She wants to be your wife and have your children," Heath said, trying to make Tom see reason.

"It'd be too complicated if I married her. People are not going to treat her with respect if I'm her husband. My children won't be seen as half-White. They'll be seen as Modoc Indian. The race of their mother won't count with them," Tom said, trying to explain the complications.

"Tom, do you love her?" Nick asked the simple question.

Tom took a deep breath. "Yes. I love her enough to not ruin her life or the lives of my children if I did marry her," Tom said.

"I heard Audra tell Mother this morning that if she couldn't be your wife, she won't marry anybody," Heath pointed out, hoping it would change Tom's mind.

"Really? She actually said that?" Tom asked, surprised that Audra loved him that much.

"That's true, Tom. You are an Indian, but Audra doesn't care if you're Indian. She just loves you for who you are. Why don't you go tell her that you love her? Mother, Jarrod, and Audra are in the parlor. If you tell mother that you love Audra and you'll marry her, Mother would give you the biggest wedding in Stockton," Nick said, clapping Tom's shoulder.

"I don't want a big wedding, Nick. If I do marry your sister I want it simple. My father's brother and sister can come over from the reservation and we can have it in a church," Tom said, resuming his chores.

"You go to church now, Tom?" Nick asked, polishing a saddle.

"I've been going more lately. A few weeks ago my job was wearing me down and I decided to give my life to Jesus. I wouldn't mind getting married in a church. When I get back to San Francisco I plan on getting baptized," Tom said, laying the pitchfork against the wall.

Tom yawned and pushed back his hair. 'Well, I'm going to bed. I'll see all of ya in the morning," Tom said.

As Tom walked back to the house he felt as if Nick and Heath were right. He loved Audra and she loved him. There was nothing wrong with their marriage if they loved each other. Tom would ask for Victoria and Jarrod's permission to marry Audra in the morning. He hoped they'd say yes.

Tom tried hard to calm the nervous butterflies in his stomach. He licked his lips a few times as he tried to think of the words to say to both Victoria and Jarrod. Because Tom Barkley had died Jarrod had become Audra's father figure. He didn't want to marry Audra without either Jarrod's or Victoria's blessing.

Tom tried to tie his bowtie without strangling himself. He ran his hand through his long hair and took a few deep breaths.

His thoughts turned to that of his father. John Lightfoot would probably not agree to this marriage. While he was friendly to White people he thought that no race was better than the Modoc Indians were. He would not approve of a White daughter-in-law.

If Tom got Jarrod and Victoria's blessing he would have to go to the reservation to talk to his uncle. Jack Lightfoot didn't really like White people either. 11 years ago he had even gone as far as to tell Tom that he shouldn't go back east to become a lawyer. A White man's education was not of any use to anyone except White men.

Silas came into the foyer. "Mrs. Barkley and Mr. Jarrod are waiting fo' you, Mr. Tom," Silas said. Tom had told Silas about his plan to ask Victoria and Jarrod for permission to marry Audra. Silas had told Tom that he would tell Jarrod and Victoria that Tom wanted to speak with them.

Tom stepped into the parlor. Jarrod stood by the fireplace while Victoria sat on the couch with her knitting needles.

"Silas said you wanted to talk to us, Tom. Would you care to sit down?" Victoria asked, indicating the chair across from her.

"Yes, Ma'am. Mrs. Barkley, Jarrod, you know that I'm not White. I am an Indian-" Tom started, feeling like that was a dumb way to start a marriage proposal.

"Tom, didn't you learn anything last year? We don't care if you are an Indian," Victoria rebuked him, sounding like his mother again.

"It's about Audra," Tom said, folding his hands together on his right knee.

'What about her, Tom?" Jarrod asked his friend.

"It took me a long time to realize this, Jarrod, but I love her. I want to ask for your permission to marry her. I won't marry her if you say no," Tom said rapidly.

"Tom, what makes you think we would say no?" Victoria asked, her voice kind.

"Like I said, I'm an Indian. I didn't know if you'd want me as part of your family," Tom said truthfully.

"Thomas Lightfoot, that is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard! You have been part of this family since you were a boy! Audra told me about her feelings for you and I discussed it with Jarrod. You two are in love; you have my blessing," Victoria said, her voice harsh, but loving at the same time.

"Do you feel the same way, Jarrod?" Tom asked, looking up at his friend.

"Yes I do, Tom. Audra's happiness is most important to me. I just want to make her happy," Jarrod said, clapping Tom's shoulder.

"Thank you, Jarrod, Mrs. Barkley," Tom said, happy that his proposal had not been met with anger.

'When are you going to ask her to be your wife, Tom?" Jarrod asked, taking a deep draw of his cigar.

"Tonight. I'll propose at dinner if that's all right," Tom said, asking Victoria's permission.

"It's all right. None of us will tell Audra what the dinner is about," Victoria said.

"Thank you, Ma'am. Now I better go find a ring to give her and go to the reservation. My uncle has to know about my marriage," Tom said, standing up.

"I hope he approves, Tom," Jarrod said, walking with Tom toward the door.

Tom hoped his uncle would come to the wedding. It would be a great source of pain to Tom if the Modoc people didn't accept his wife or any future children he had.

The smoke from all the fires on the reservation greeted Tom. The fires were for cooking. Either water lily bulbs or deer or bear meat was in those fireplaces cooking.

There was also the council meetings. At each meeting a fire was lit in the fireplace at the council house. So the smell of wood smoke mixed with the smell of tobacco smoke.

Tom knocked on the door to one of the largest cabins in the area. A woman, with long dark hair and wrinkles answered the door.

"Tom Lightfoot!" The woman greeted in English.

"Hello, Aunt Ruth. Is Uncle Jack in?" Tom greeted his uncle's wife in Modoc.

"He's at the council meeting, Nephew. Won't you come in?" Ruth invited Tom into the cabin.

"All right. When will Uncle Jack be back, Aunt Ruth?" Tom asked, sitting by the fireplace.

"I do not know, Nephew. Is it important news that you must tell him?" Ruth asked, setting a plate of water lily bulbs in front of him.

"Yes. Aunt Ruth, I'm getting married and I want Uncle Jack's permission to marry her," Tom said, eating one of the bulbs.

"Who is the lucky girl?" Ruth asked, her dark eyes shining with happiness.

"She isn't Modoc, Aunt Ruth. She's a White girl. Her family took me in after my father and mother died. Her name is Audra," Tom said, knowing that his aunt might react like Jack Lightfoot would.

"Is she beautiful?" Ruth asked, taking Tom completely by surprise.

"Very beautiful. She has long blonde hair and beautiful bright blue eyes. I already asked her family and they agreed," Tom said, setting his empty plate down.

Ruth understood Tom's feelings. Jack loved her as much as Tom professed to love this girl. Tom would marry Audra without Jack's permission, but Tom didn't want it that way.

An old man with long dark hair, buckskin clothing, and a calico shirt entered the house. "Thomas!" Jack Lightfoot greeted his nephew, pounding him on the back.

"Hello, Uncle. You look very well," Tom said, sitting back down.

Jack pulled out his pipe and lit it with a hot coal. "It has been a long time since we see you, Nephew," Jack said, between puffs of smoke.

"I know, Uncle. I have been busy trying to make life better for our people," Tom said, taking a drink from his clay cup.

"Why are you here, Nephew? I don't think it would be about your job," Jack asked, laying down the pipe.

"Uncle, I'm here on vacation and I realized last night that there is a girl that I would like to marry," Tom said, picking his words carefully.

"Is it a girl I know here on the reservation?" Jack asked, feeling the happiness that Ruth felt.

"Uncle, she's not Modoc. She's a White woman about my age," Tom said, knowing what Jack would say next.

"WHITE! YOU WOULD MARRY ONE OF THE WHITE WOMEN AND HAVE CHILDREN THAT ARE NOT EVEN FULL-BLOODED MODOC!" Jack yelled jumping up. His face was scarlet with anger.

"Yes I would, Audra Barkley loves me and I her. She told her mother that she wouldn't marry anyone but me," Tom said, his voice still calm.

Jack was surprised at Tom's calmness. The Lightfoots were known for losing their tempers at the slightest provocation. Not knowing what to say he stalked out of the room angrily.

Ruth laid her small brown hand on Tom's broad shoulder. "Do not worry, Nephew. He will get used to the idea. Remember he didn't say no," Ruth said, kissing Tom's forehead.

"He didn't say no, Aunt Ruth. But he didn't say yes either," Tom said, kissing her forehead gently before walking out the door.

Tom knew this would happen. His uncle would be against the marriage. The best thing to do right now was go to Stockton and buy Audra's ring.

Audra let Victoria lead her into the dining room. A huge secret was going through the family. A secret that was being kept from her. Tom had been gone a great deal of the day and all Jarrod would say was that at dinner Tom had a question to ask her.

Audra dressed in her most exquisite blue dress. The dress had a cascade of baby's-breath going to the hem of the skirt and was gathered at the waist. Audra had put on a string of elegant pearls and had piled her long golden hair on top of her head.

Audra walked into the dining room. All the brothers and Tom stood up as the women entered. Tom was dressed like the brothers. He wore a tuxedo and a black bowtie.

'You look very handsome tonight, Tom," Audra complimented him.

"Thank you, Audra. You look very beautiful yourself," Tom said.

After everyone sat down and grace was said, Audra looked around the table. "All right, what's the secret?" Audra asked.

"I don't know anything about any secret. Heath, do you know anything about a secret?" Nick asked, turning to his younger brother.

"No, I don't know any secrets," Heath said, trying to eat his stew and talk at the same time.

Audra looked amused and frustrated. She turned to look at Tom. It was all he could do not to laugh. "Tom, maybe you could tell me what's going on?" Audra huffed.

"Can I finish my dinner first, Audra?" Tom asked, taking a drink of his coffee.

Audra couldn't believe this! They all had a secret and none of them would tell her! She ate random bites of her stew, trying not to get upset at them.

"Audra," Tom's voice broke into her frustration fifteen minutes later.

Audra looked up from her plate. Tom held her hand in his large brown hand. "What is it, Tom?" Audra asked, stiffly. If this family and Tom were going to keep a secret from her, then she just won't talk to them.

"Audra, I ran a few errands today. I had to go to the Modoc reservation and I had to pick up something at the jewelry store. What I am trying to say is, Audra would you do me the honors of becoming my wife? Would you marry me?" Tom asked, presenting a small velvet box.

Audra was speechless. She looked at the velvet box and touched it lightly. "Can I think about it, Tom?" Audra asked, her voice trembling slightly.

"Of course. I love you, Audra. You think about it," Tom said, picking up her hand and kissing it lightly.

* * * * * * * *

Audra sat in her window seat, looking at the moon. She didn't even hear the door open as Victoria entered the room. Victoria touched Audra's shoulders.

"Audra, are you all right?" Victoria asked, removing one of the pins from Audra's hair.

"Mother, how did you know that Father was the one for you?" Audra asked, turning to look at Victoria.

Victoria sat down next to Audra. "It took me a long time to realize that I loved your father as much as you love Tom. He asked me to marry him and I said I had to think about it. He waited for me to make up my mind. It actually took me two months to realize that I loved your father," Victoria said.

"Did you mean it when you said that you'd welcome Tom into the family?" Audra asked, taking out of her hair all the pins. The long blonde hair spilled past her shoulders.

"Of course I did. Tom loves you Audra. He said he did. Like your father wouldn't, Tom won't marry another girl," Victoria said, standing up.

Victoria walked out of Audra's room. Audra ran the brush through her hair, still thinking whether she should marry Tom or not.

The next day was sunny and a light breeze blew. Audra made her way down to the breakfast, her mind made up. After telling her mother how much she loved Tom and wanted to marry him, she should marry him.

Everyone was at the table, talking loudly. Heath was ribbing Nick and Jarrod and Tom was talking about Jarrod's recent case. Victoria was the one who noticed Audra in the doorway.

"Good morning, Audra," Victoria greeted Audra loudly over the din.

All conversation and teasing stopped as everyone turned. Audra looked at Tom. "Good morning, Tom," Audra said, smiling kindly.

"Good morning, Audra. Have you made up your mind yet?" Tom asked, taking a drink of his coffee.

"Can I answer that with a question of my own? Where are we going to live? In Sacramento or Stockton?" Audra asked.

Tom's mind pondered the question. Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "Audra, does this mean yes?" Tom asked, thinking that she might have meant no.

"Yes. It means yes, Tom," Audra said, walking over to Tom. She picked up the velvet black box that contained her engagement ring. She handed it to Tom. He took it out of the box and placed it on her finger.

"Audra, you've made me very happy," Tom said, after they sat down.

"I love you, Thomas Lightfoot. I want to be your wife," Audra said, pushing a lock of his long dark hair out of his eyes.

"You know when people around here find out that you're going to marry me they are going to give you a hard time," Tom said.

"I don't care what other people think. I'm marrying you and it's no one else's business but ours and God's," Audra said, her voice serious.

"When we do get married I'll build us a house here in Stockton. I don't want to take you away from your family. Also when I go to Sacramento you can stay with your mother," Tom said, already starting to make plans.

"When do you want to get married, Tom?" Audra asked, taking a bite of scrambled eggs.

"I don't want anything too big. I just want it simple with you family and some of my family as witnesses," Tom said.

"Tom, we must buy Audra a dress," Victoria said, interrupting the conversation.

"Why don't you wear the one you had on last night? It was awfully pretty," Tom said, turning back to Audra.

Audra giggled. "Tom, that was a party dress. Not a wedding dress!" Audra said, amused.

"My mistake," Tom said, laughing at his own stupidity. Of course Audra had wanted to buy herself a wedding dress. All women did.

"You will supply the flowers, Mother? Some roses from your rose garden?" Audra asked, turning to look at Victoria.

"Of course. Some pretty yellow roses will do nicely in decorating the church," Victoria said.

"And Jarrod you will give me away since Father isn't here to do it?" Audra asked, turning to look at Jarrod.

"I'd be delighted, young lady," Jarrod said, squeezing her hand gently.

"What about Eugene? Is someone going to write him about the wedding?" Audra asked, her questions starting to give them all headaches.

"Audra, relax. We'll fix everything. You just be the most beautiful bride in the world," Nick said, finally saying what everyone was thinking.

Audra picked up her fork again and ate her ham. It tasted like sawdust to her. She found herself wondering what she was going to do about her cooking skills. She knew they were terrible. Victoria had better teach her how to cook before the wedding took place.

Victoria and Audra drove to town after breakfast. Considering they had 12 days to put together a wedding they wanted to buy Audra’s dress that morning. If they paid Libby Simpson extra it would be ready on time.

"Mother, what makes you so sure that Libby will make my dress? No one in Stockton likes Tom since he's an Indian," Audra said, voicing her worries.

"If Libby doesn't agree to do it, we'll go to San Francisco to buy it. Why are you worried Audra. You’re the one who said that the marriage wasn’t anyone’s business, but yours, Tom’s and God’s,” Victoria said, keeping her eyes on the road.

"I just can't forget what happened last year when Tom was accused of killing Clem Watson. This town is going to ridicule both him and me for falling in love and marrying," Audra said.

"You love him, Audra. That's all that matters. But I do have a question for you; are you and Tom going to have any children?" Victoria asked.

Audra smiled at the question. Audra loved children, but she didn't know how anyone would feel about half-Indian children. The children would be insulted on who their father was, not their mother.

"Mother, I would love to have children, but how will the world treat them? They are half-White, but people would be concentrating on their Modoc blood," Audra said, frightened for any future children she and Tom could have.

"Audra, as long as those children know their mother and father love them, it won't matter," Victoria said. Her daughter's worries worried her. Audra loved Tom, but she had doubts about how people would treat her children and Tom and herself.

"You're right. I'm letting myself get scared over the future," Audra said, trying to reassure herself.

"What kind of dress would you like?" Victoria asked, changing the subject.

"I'm not exactly sure. Nothing yellow. I've gotten to where I don't like yellow," Audra said, thinking.

Victoria stopped the buggy in front of the dressmaker's shop and tied the horse to the hitching post. Libby Simpson was the best dressmaker in town. She was a widow that lived with her 17-year-old daughter, Andrea. Libby’s father, Braehma, was a retired cowhand that managed the books on cattle and horses.

Libby and Andy were inside sewing buttons on dresses. Andy wore this nice blue dress that matched her blue eyes. Andy was once a tomboy who wore boy's clothes. Her attitude toward girls dresses changed when she got a crush on Heath. Now she insisted on being called Andrea.

"Hello Libby, Andrea," Victoria greeted the woman and Andrea.

"Victoria and Audra, hello! What may I do for you today?" Libby asked, rising from her chair.

"Audra is getting married in 12 days and we need a wedding dress," Victoria said, seeing no point to hide the truth from the woman.

"Congratulations, Audra! Who's the lucky young man?" Libby asked, kissing Audra's cheek warmly.

"It's Tom Lightfoot," Audra said, bracing herself for the shock she knew that would come.

Libby and Andrea both gasped in shock. "Tom Lightfoot? Miss Audra, he's an Indian!" Andrea exclaimed.

"We are well aware of his race, Andrea. Audra loves him and she needs a dress," Victoria said, a hard steel in her voice.

"Victoria, if I consent and make the dress the whole town might burn down my shop," Libby said, afraid.

"It shouldn't matter. You are in the business of making dresses. Now can you make one for Audra?" Victoria said, still determined to have a dress made there.

"Very well. I don't like it, but I'll do it. I need Audra's measurements. And Audra, you'll have to pick what pattern of wedding dress you'd like," Libby said, tears in her voice.

Audra flipped through the book, finally deciding on a taffeta dress, with ribbons adorning the hem and Irish lace edging the sleeves and neckline. Audra and Victoria walked out to go home, feeling happy that they had gotten the wedding dress accomplished.

Libby Simpson sat sewing on Audra's dress when Martha McKendrick entered the shop. In Stockton Martha Mckendrick had the biggest mouth. Everyone knew not to tell her a secret. It would be all over town in one hour.

"Hello, Libby," Martha said in her southern accent.

"Hello, Martha," Libby said, looking up briefly from the ribbon she was sewing.

"Who is this for? It's gorgeous!" Martha said, fingering the soft material.

"Audra Barkley. She's getting married in 12 days and she needs a dress," Libby said, trying not to divulge too much information.

"Audra Barkley's getting married? And no one in town knows about it?" Martha asked, her eyes as wide as tureens.

"She only accepted the proposal this morning," Libby said, picking up another ribbon.

"Who's the lucky young man? Is it someone from Stockton?" Martha asked.

"He did live here once. It's Tom Lightfoot," Libby said, knowing what Martha's reaction would be.

It took a few minutes for the shock to register on Martha's face. "Tom Lightfoot? He's an Indian!" Martha said, her voice almost panicked.

"Yes. Andy and me told Audra that, but she says that she loves him. Victoria was with her and it looked as if she backed Audra's decision," Libby said, threading her needle with some white thread.

"And you didn't tell the sheriff?" Martha asked appalled.

"Why would I need to tell the sheriff? There is no law against a White woman marrying an Indian," Libby asked confused.

"Well, I'll ask my Henry to tell Fred Madden about this. There should be a law against a white woman marrying an Indian," Martha said in her most hoity-toity voice.

Libby set down her sewing, wishing she had kept her mouth shut. Fred Madden wouldn't stop the wedding, but news of Audra and Tom's engagement would spread all over town by nightfall.

* * * * * * * *

At the dinner table the family discussed the wedding at length. The flowers were already picked and Silas and Victoria agreed to cook Tom's favorite, roast duck and Audra's favorite, veal.

Audra told Tom about what the dressmaker said would happen if she made her wedding dress and Tom told of his visit to the Indian cemetery south of town.

The meal was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Silas came into the dining room a few minutes later, followed by the sheriff.

"Hello, Fred. Would you care to join us for supper?" Victoria asked, politely rising from her chair.

"I'm not here on a social call, Victoria. Henry McKendrick told me that his wife said that Libby Simpson is making a dress for Audra," Fred said, turning to face both Tom and Audra.

"Yes. Why is that so important?" Audra asked perplexed.

"There's nothing wrong with making a dress for a wedding, but Audra people in town are complaining about the man you chose for your husband," Fred said, sounding concerned.

'Where is that any of their business?" Tom asked, feeling the anger inside that he had the year before.

"Tom, I'm not going to talk you out of marrying Audra. That's not my place to tell you how to live your lives. But Audra, people still don't like Modocs. You marrying one is going to get you and your children insulted," Fred said, trying to give Audra a bit of advice.

"I actually thought about that all last night and this morning. I love Tom. If you were our friend, you'd understand," Audra said, not hurt by Fred's words.

"I thought of it too, Fred. I was afraid to ask Audra to marry me. I thought of the people who would insult us for marrying and our children. No bigot is going to tell me and Audra whom we can or can't marry," Tom said, his jaw set.

"I guess not," Fred said. Fred put his hat back on.

"Fred, would you join us for supper?" Jarrod asked, pulling out a chair for the lawman.

Fred scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I haven't had supper yet. I'd be glad to," Fred said, sitting down and taking a drink of the coffee Silas poured for him.

"Fred, would you come to our wedding?" Audra invited as she passed the rolls to Fred.

"I'd love to come, Audra. Is it a big wedding or a small one?" Fred asked, taking a bite of ham.

"Small. I don't like big weddings. I just want family and a few friends there," Tom said.

"What about your family, Tom? Is your father's brother and sister going to come?" Fred asked, wiping his mouth with his napkin.

Tom sighed deeply. The sound seemed as if it came from his toes. "I don't know. My uncle feels that I shouldn't marry Audra. He told me so yesterday," Tom said, his voice low.

Audra looked at Tom in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me that he refused?" Audra asked, feeling a little angry.

"What was the point in telling you, Audra? It would have just worried you," Tom said. His response was something a parent would have said. Audra could say nothing to that kind of logic. Tom was right. Jack Lightfoot's anger toward Tom marrying a White woman would have worried her.

The wedding day was sunny and bright. The next day Tom was going back to Sacramento to continue his job for the Council of Indian Affairs.

Audra's dress was finished and hanging in her chifferobe. Eugene had come from Berkeley to attend the wedding. For safety's sake the wedding was going to take place in the Barkley living room. Reverend Stacey agreed to perform the ceremony at Audra's pleading.

Audra was in her room putting on the beautiful dress. Victoria handed her a bouquet of yellow and white roses. After putting on the veil Victoria stepped back to look at her daughter.

"Audra, you look beautiful!" Victoria exclaimed, kissing her daughter's cheek.

"You really think so, Mother?" Audra asked, twirling before the mirror.

"I do. Your father would have loved to be here for your wedding also," Victoria said, a sad overtone in her voice. After all these years Victoria missed Tom Barkley.

"Mother, would Father approve of my choice?" Audra asked her mother for the first time.

"I think so. Your father loved you so much, Audra. He'd want you to be happy. I want you to wear this necklace. Your father gave it to me as a wedding gift. I want you to have it now," Victoria said, removing her plaqued rose necklace and putting it around Audra's neck.

"Mother, you love this necklace! When I was little you never let me touch it!" Audra exclaimed in shock.

Victoria covered her daughter's mouth with her slender fingers. "It's your necklace now. Your father would want me to give it to you and you can give it to your daughter on her wedding day," Victoria said firmly.

"Mother, I love you," Audra said, bursting into tears and throwing her arms around Victoria's neck. Victoria patted her daughter's head and held her while she cried.

A gentle knock on the door caught the attention of both women. "Who is it?" Victoria called.

"It's Jarrod," Jarrod answered.

"Come in, Jarrod," Audra said to her brother.

Jarrod opened the door. After kissing his mother's forehead he turned to his little sister. "Honey, you look beautiful," Jarrod said, kissing Audra's cheek.

"Thank you, Jarrod. Is everything ready downstairs?" Audra asked.

"Yes. Everyone is seated," Jarrod said.

Victoria pulled the veil over Audra's head. "I'm going downstairs. I'll see you in a few minutes, Audra," Victoria said, giving her daughter's hand a gentle squeeze.

Jarrod held out his arm to his sister. "Are you ready, Honey?" Jarrod asked. Audra nodded and threaded her arm through his arm.

"Jarrod, thank you for taking Father's place and giving me away," Audra said, as they walked down the hall.

"Audra, I love you. Father, would have approved of your marriage I'm sure. He would have wanted you to be happy," Jarrod said, turning to look his sister in the eye.

"It's funny. When Father died I was not happy when you took his place. Thank you, Jarrod, for raising me when Father couldn't. I hope that you could raise my children if something ever happens to me or Tom," Audra said sincerely.

"Honey, don't say that! Nothing will happen to Tom or yourself!" Jarrod said sharply.

"Your right. I shouldn't think that way," Audra said, feeling better after that last reprimand. Audra didn't know how much could possibly happen to make what she said about Jarrod raising her children true.

The parlor was decorated with the most beautiful roses from Victoria's garden. Tom and Nick stood beside the minister. Tom had asked Nick to be his best man the day after Audra had accepted his proposal.

Reverend Stacey also stood there, his Bible in his old wrinkled hands. The "Wedding March" began playing through the house as Jarrod and Audra entered the room.

Eugene, Heath, and Tom's Aunts Ruth and Rebecca stood as they entered the room. Jack Lightfoot wasn't there. Tom had told Audra the night before at the supper table that Jack wouldn't come to the wedding. It was a miracle in itself that Ruth and Rebecca had come to the wedding.

Audra and Jarrod made their way to the fireplace. Jarrod gave his sister's hand to Tom and sat down next to his mother. Tom and Audra stood next to the Reverend, waiting for his next words.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and man to bring into holy matrimony this man and this woman. Marriage is a holy estate ordained by God. Who gives this woman away?" Reverend Stacey asked, looking out over the crowd.

"I do," Jarrod said, rising to his feet.

The reverend nodded his approval to Jarrod. "Thomas Lightfoot, do you take Audra Barkley to be your lawful wedded wife? Will you love her, honor her, and forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?" Reverend Stacey asked Tom.

"I do," Tom said, squeezing Audra's hand gently with his hand.

"Audra Barkley, do you take Thomas Lightfoot to be your lawful wedded husband? Honor him and obey him as long as you both shall live?" Reverend Stacey asked.

"I will," Audra said, smiling up at Tom.

"May I have the rings?" Nick handed both Tom and Audra's wedding rings to Reverend Stacey. "Tom, put this ring on Audra's finger and say, 'With this ring I thee wed,'" Reverend Stacey said, handing the ring to Tom.

"With this ring I thee wed," Tom slipped the cool gold ring on her finger.

"Audra, put this ring on Tom's finger and say, 'With this ring I thee wed,'" Reverend Stacey said to Audra, handing her Tom's ring.

Audra slipped the ring on Tom's finger. "With this ring I thee wed," Audra said, squeezing Tom's hand.

"If any of you see just cause why Thomas and Audra should not marry, speak now or forever hold your peace," After a few moments of silence the reverend spoke again. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," Reverend Stacey said.

Tom and Audra kissed and everyone clapped. "I now introduce Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Lightfoot," Rev. Stacey said happily.

The company came toward the couple, shaking their hands. Ruth and Rebecca spoke in Modoc to the nephew. Tom responded. He turned to Audra and translated. "My aunts wish us much happiness and a future with many children," Tom said.

"Thank them for me and that we will have children if God wills it," Audra said, tears of joy streaming down her face.

Tom translated what Audra said to his aunts in Modoc. Ruth and Rebecca kissed Audra's cheeks and smiled at her. "My aunts welcome you to the Modoc tribe," Tom whispered in her ear as they went to the dining room to eat the banquet Victoria and Silas had prepared.

As Audra ate the rich food she felt happy. None of them knew the danger that would happen a month later.

A month later Audra was dusting the Barkley mansion. Audra was so happy with her life that she felt like singing. She was married to a wonderful husband and no one had really threatened her or Tom's lives. Of course Tom was away a great deal of the time and most of the women in town gave Audra the cold shoulder, but no one had said anything good or bad to Audra.

If only these recent stomach cramps would go away. Audra had had a stomachache early that morning. She had spent some time wondering if she was going to be sick, but it had past after two or three hours.

Audra thought of her husband. He was away again. He had been gone for a week. He was close to resolving the Modoc Reparations Bill. The fighting had resumed in the House and the Senate.

Audra started to hum a happy tune to herself as she dusted off the mantle. Victoria had promised to help Audra with her cooking skills that afternoon. Already she had baked bread that didn't resemble and taste like a rock.

Audra was so intent with her dusting she didn't hear Victoria enter the room. "You sound happy, Audra," Victoria commented, sitting down in her chair.

"I am, Mother. I don't know why though. I had a stomachache this morning. Usually that shouldn't make a person happy," Audra said, laying down her rag.

Victoria's mind jolted at that bit of news. "Audra, how often do you have those stomachaches?" Victoria asked seriously.

"I got them about a week ago. I think it's just something I eat that doesn't agree with my stomach. Why do you ask, Mother?" Audra asked, slightly confused.

"Audra, I think you're pregnant!" Victoria said in a hushed whisper.

Audra felt tears come to her eyes. Pregnant! She and Tom were going to have a baby? Tears of joy ran down Audra's cheeks as she thought of the baby.

A knock at the door interrupted the joyous mood. Silas answered the door. Sheriff Madden and Jarrod were there on the porch. "Silas, is Audra in?" Jarrod asked the servant.

Yes'm, Mr. Jarrod," Silas led Jarrod and the lawman into the parlor.

"Mother, Audra," Jarrod greeted Victoria and Audra.

"Jarrod, I have wonderful news! Mother says that I'm going to have a baby!" Audra gushed, her happiness radiating from her face.

Jarrod's eyes filled with tears. Considering the joy his sister felt at the prospect of becoming a mother, he hated what he had to tell her.

"Audra, something horrible has happened," Jarrod said, thinking of no better way to start his news.

"What is it, Jarrod? What has happened?" Victoria asked, slipping a protective arm around Audra's slim shoulders.

"Audra, you're going to have to be strong for you and the baby-" Jarrod started.

"Jarrod, has something happened to Tom?" Audra asked, interrupting her older brother.

"Two days ago Tom was going back to his apartment in Sacramento. Audra, the police say that he was robbed and since he didn't show up back at his apartment, he's believed to be dead," Jarrod said, his eyes and voice full of sympathy for his sister.

Audra felt as if she were going to be sick. "How do they know it was Tom they robbed?" Audra asked, her voice barely audible.

"They found his wallet. It was empty except for his identification in it," Fred said, speaking for the first time since they had come into the house.

Audra clamped her hand over her mouth to stop the scream or the nausea that she felt inside her. Her husband was dead! She'd have to raise this baby alone! The tears flooded her eyes and she sank weakly to her knees.

Victoria wrapped her arms around Audra and held her as she cried. Victoria knew the feelings Audra was feeling well. After Victoria's husband had been killed by the railroad 11 years ago, Victoria had felt as if her heart would break. Audra's pain was worse since she had a baby on the way.

The next few months dragged by. As confirmed by Victoria, Audra was pregnant. The pain inside her heart hadn't stopped of the news of Tom's disappearance.

Jarrod, Nick, and Heath had gone to look for Tom, but when they returned with glum looks on their faces it was enough to convince Audra that Tom hadn't been found.

Audra knew she should be happy for the baby. She could lose the baby if she didn't cheer up. So far Audra didn't have the heart to go to the reservation and tell Tom's uncle and aunts about his disappearance.

One evening 4 months after Tom's disappearance had reached Audra, Victoria finally put her foot down.

Victoria knocked lightly on Audra's door, hoping her daughter was awake. Being pregnant Audra slept more than usual.

"Come in," Audra said thinly.

Victoria opened the door to see her daughter sitting in her rocking chair by the fireplace. Audra's thin arms were across her protruding stomach and she rocked the chair gently.

"Audra, how are you feeling?" Victoria asked, trying to think of a way to ask Audra to stop being miserable and think of her baby.

"I try to be happy, Mother. Really I do, but it's going to be awful bringing this baby into the world and it not knowing who it's father was," Audra said, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Audra, I understand that you love Tom and you miss him, but Tom would want you to be happy for the baby's sake," Victoria said, pushing locks of Audra's blonde hair away from her daughter's eyes.

"I know, but Mother I don't think I can live here now," Audra said miserably.

"Audra, what do you mean?" Victoria asked shocked. If Audra were thinking of leaving what would happen if Tom should show up? The police reports confirmed Tom was dead, but his body was never found. What if he wasn't dead and came asking about his wife?

"I can't live here in Stockton, Mother. I was thinking about staying with Father's sister, Lydia, out in Colorado," Audra said, looking her mother in the eye.

"Audra, what if Tom is still alive? He may come wondering where you are," Victoria said, trying to convince her daughter not to follow through on this plan.

"I don't think he is, Mother. But if I'm wrong just tell him where I'm at," Audra said, trying not to cry, even though she felt tears come to her eyes again.

"All right. I'll wire Lydia and tell her that you’re coming. I don't know how she'll feel though about your baby being half-Indian though," Victoria said in resignation.

"Don't tell her. After the baby is born I'm going to hide that fact from it and everyone else. I love Tom, but our child doesn't deserve to be made fun of because its father was an Indian," Audra said, her mind made up.

Victoria was shocked at her daughter's deceitful idea. Chances were the child's dark skin, hair, and-possibly-the eyes would give it away as Indian. Victoria didn't know how Audra would hide the child's race from it or anyone else.

Right now though she didn't know how she could change Audra's mind about leaving. Maybe her spirits would rise when the baby came.

* * * * * * * *

Lydia Barkley waited as her young niece's train came into the depot. From the telegram Victoria had sent her Audra had married an Indian and was expecting a baby.

Lydia didn't agree with the idea of marrying an Indian, but she wasn't about to attack her niece for it.

The train stopped breaking Lydia's thoughts. Audra stepped off the train, the saddest eyes Lydia had ever seen staring back at her.

"Hello, Audra," Lydia said, kissing her niece warmly.

"Hello, Aunt Lydia," Audra said, attempting to smile.

Lydia looked at her niece. She looked tired and she flinched slightly as the baby kicked her stomach.

"My rig is over there, Dear. Is your baggage over there?" Lydia asked, to which Audra nodded.

"Go over there to my rig. Peters and I will get your bags," Lydia said, following Peters to the baggage cars.

Audra turned to look at the snow-topped mountains. It looked close enough to touch. Audra felt her spirits lift as she looked wide-eyed at the mountains. Yes, this was the place for her and the baby.

The time for the baby to be born drew closer. Victoria had taken this time to visit Lydia. It seemed as if Audra was back to her cheerful mood. Her stomach appeared larger than some mothers did, but everyone figured it must be the size of the baby. Except Victoria.

One evening at supper Victoria expressed her concerns to Audra. Victoria laid down her napkin and looked over at her daughter.

"Audra, one thing concerns me about your baby," Victoria said, trying to think of her words carefully.

"What is it, Mother? The baby's healthy and I'm eating and walking regularly," Audra said, a perplexed look crossing her lovely features.

"Are you sure that you are going to have one baby? Your stomach seems too large to have one baby," Victoria asked.

"What do you mean, Mother?" Audra asked, a deep frown replacing the confusion.

"Most women with stomachs as large as yours have twins. Have you felt four feet kicking your stomach?" Victoria persisted with the questions.

Audra's face turned pale. Twins? She had felt four feet kicking her the other day, but she had passed it off as her imagination. "Yes, but I thought that maybe I was dreaming," Audra said, in a tiny voice.

"Audra, stand up and let me touch your stomach," Victoria ordered her daughter.

Audra stood up. Victoria placed both hands on her stomach and waited. Instantly she felt four feet kicking against her hands.

"I was right. Audra, you are going to have twins," Victoria said, a smile breaking across her face.

"Twins? Mother, how am I going to raise two babies? Is it bad enough that I had to lose my husband? Now I have to raise two babies?" Audra asked in complete despair.

"Audra, your father and I didn't raise you to wallow in self-pity. Tom may be still alive and until he finds you and the children, he'll want you to raise them the best you can," Victoria said, a sharp reprimand in her voice.

"But how, Mother? I thought it would be enough to care for one life, but to now be responsible for two? How can I take care of twins?" Audra asked, her voice cracking.

"Like all parents the best you can. Jarrod told me about the conversation that you had the day of your wedding. Maybe you can bring the children to Stockton and let us help you raise them," Victoria said, hoping Audra would say yes.

"I can't, Mother. I love you and my brothers, but I'm not ready to go back yet. Maybe someday. Aunt Lydia, would you let the children and myself stay with you?" Audra turned to her aunt.

"Of course, Dear. I'll help you in whatever way I can," Lydia stood up and gently pushed back Audra's hair.

A smile flicked across Audra's face, soon broken by a spasm of pain that shot through her stomach. Audra braced her hands on the table, breathing hard.

"Audra, what's wrong?" Victoria asked, putting her arm around Audra's shoulders.

"I don't know. My stomach!" Audra said breathlessly.

"The twins! Lydia, let's get her upstairs to her room!" Victoria sharply ordered.

The two women helped Audra upstairs and into her bed. At four o'clock in the morning the cries of Thomas Barkley Lightfoot and Ellen Victoria Lightfoot filled the room.

The twins grew like weeds in a garden. Both had inherited Tom's dark skin and hair, but had the darkest pair of blue eyes. They were the color of the ocean and Ellen's long dark brown hair had a slight wave to it, like her mother's.

Thomas's dark hair was closely cropped to his head, but if it were long it might have had the same wave. The twins were as different as night and day. Thomas had his father's quick temper and often got angry at the slightest wrong.

Ellen was different. While she had her mother's bouncy, carefree spirits, she was often was the one to talk her brother out of his anger. She was the more thoughtful of the two. In many ways she was like her Uncles Jarrod and Heath. She thought things through.

Of course she had also inherited her father's love for athletic sports. Often she caught playing anteover at school or getting into snowball fights in the winter. She also had a love for Indian cultures.

Audra had tried her best not to let her children know they WERE half-Indian, but that didn't stop Ellen from sharing her food with the Cheyenne children at the reservation or reading books about Indian groups.

Of course Audra used the last name "Light" on her and her children. She hoped one day she might be able to tell the children the truth.

* * * * * * * *

A month before the twins fifteenth birthday something happened that changed Audra's perspective of Stockton.

Audra and Lydia were knitting in the parlor when Ellen came in, carrying an armload of books.

"How was school, Ellen?" Audra asked, not looking up from her chain stitch.

"Fine, Mother. Tommy stopped by the post office to pick up our mail. He should be here in a few minutes," Ellen said, using her nickname for her brother.

Thomas entered the house, carrying a large package and ten letters. The large package and five of the letters went to Aunt Lydia. Audra took the remaining five letters from her son.

"How was school, Thomas?" Audra asked, hoping that Thomas would answer like his sister did.

"Fine, Mother," Thomas said in his usual quiet way.

Thomas settled his books on the table next to his sister. "Why didn't you tell Mother about the fight you had at school, Tommy?" Ellen asked in a hiss.

"Ellie, shut up!" Tommy hissed back into a whisper.

Audra looked up at her son. "Have you been fighting, young man?" Audra asked, her voice serious.

"Yes, Ma'am. But I was provoked. Some of the boys were making fun of Ellie sharing her lunch with some of the Indian children around the school today," Thomas said by way of apology.

"That is no excuse for fighting. It's noble that you want to stick up for your sister, but you should come up with a better way to handle disputes, Thomas. I don't want you to be like your father in that respect. He got shot one night because he felt the White people were to blame for not helping his people," Audra said, without thinking.

"His people?" Ellen asked, in absolute surprise.

Audra's face turned pale with shock. She had just revealed too much about the twins' father. "Your father is an Indian," Audra said in a low voice.

Both twins' looked surprised and the look on Thomas's face was little angry. "When were you going to tell us this, Mother?" Thomas asked, his voice shaking with anger.

"I wanted to protect you. I loved your father and when I lost him and realized that people would hate you because of your blood," Audra said, tears streaming down her face.

"I don't feel protected, Mother! You lied to Ellie and me all these years!" Thomas yelled, running out of the room and upstairs to his bedroom.

Ellen turned back to face her mother. "What was my father's name?" Ellen asked, curiosity stronger than any anger she felt inside.

"I named your brother after him. His name was Tom Lightfoot. He was a Modoc Indian. Your grandparents took him into our family after your Indian grandmother died of smallpox and your Indian grandfather drank himself to death," Audra said, pulling her daughter on the couch next to her.

"So my name is really Ellen Lightfoot?" Ellen asked, trying to comprehend the revelations her mother just told her.

"Yes. And your brother's name is Thomas Lightfoot. But I have a more serious question to ask you. How would you like to go to Stockton? Your father and I grew up there and I don't think the people would insult you. You're just children," Audra said, pushing back her daughter's hair and looking into her dark blue eyes.

"I'd love to, Mother. But what about, Aunt Lyddie?" Ellen asked, looking over at her aunt.

"I'm comin' too. I haven't seen your grandmother and uncles since your grandfather died," Lydia said, her eyes glowing with love for her great-niece. Out of the two twins Ellen was Lydia's favorite.

"How are we going to tell Tommy this news, Mother?" Ellen asked, biting her lip.

"I'll think of something," Audra was worried how her son might take the news that they were leaving. Thomas never liked surprises and this one he would like least of all.

Jarrod waited in front of the stage office for Audra and his niece and nephew. He had gone to Denver on countless occasions with his mother to see Audra and the twins. He hadn't seen his nephew and niece in four years and he was happy to see them again.

Walter, the station man, was counting some barrels. "What brings you this way, Jarrod?" Walter asked, his tone friendly.

"I'm here to meet Audra's stage. She's coming home for a visit now that her children's school is out for summer break," Jarrod said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Audra? Jarrod, the town ain't ever going to forgive her for marrying Tom Lightfoot and havin' his kids," Walter said, his anger obvious.

Jarrod remembered the incident when Tom graduated from law school back east. When Tom had come home Walter had said the exact same things.

"Audra wrote us. She is willing to try living here again. All my sister and her children want is to live their lives peacefully," Jarrod said, his voice cold.

"Do those children know who their father was?" Walter asked.

"Yes. Audra finally told them and she had their birth certificates changed to Thomas and Ellen Lightfoot," Jarrod said, turning his attention back to the road.

The stage came into town and stopped in front of Jarrod. Thomas was the first one out. "Thomas Barkley Lightfoot, you are turning into one handsome young man!" Jarrod greeted his nephew, clapping him on the back.

"Hello, Uncle Jarrod. Have you picked up Uncle Nick's shouting?" Thomas asked, a puzzled look in his dark blue eyes.

"No. I'm just happy to see my favorite nephew," Jarrod said, ruffling Thomas's dark brown hair.

Ellen stepped down and looked around the stage office. "Ellen!" Jarrod greeted his niece, kissing her forehead.

"Hello, Uncle Jarrod. How's Matilda and Aunt Martha?" Ellen asked, referring to Jarrod's wife and thirteen-year-old daughter.

"Fine. Matilda's anxious to see you. You are her favorite cousin after all," Jarrod said.

"Is that only because Uncle Heath and Uncle Nick's daughters are 8 and 9 years old?" Ellen asked, flipping her dark hair behind her shoulder.

"That has something to do with that. Matilda thinks your other cousins are babies," Jarrod said, kissing her forehead again.

Audra then stepped out of the stage. "Jarrod," Audra said softly. Jarrod looked at his little sister. After fifteen years she still looked like a girl to him.

"Audra! Welcome home, Honey," Jarrod said, hugging his sister.

"It's good to be home, Jarrod. I have missed you and everyone so much," Audra said, looking up into her brother's bright blue eyes.

"You still look so beautiful, Audra. Where's Aunt Lydia?" Jarrod asked, looking around for his father's sister.

"She couldn't make it. Something unexpected came up and she had to go to Boston," Audra said regretfully.

"Are you three hungry? We can go to "The Cattlemen's" and eat while Walter loads your luggage," Jarrod said, looking over at the stationmaster.

The look on Walter's face was sour. Probably the thought of loading Audra and her half-Indian children's baggage was awful in his mind. He nodded his head in grudging acceptance.

"Of course. We haven't eaten anything since Virginia City and we are all kind of tired," Audra admitted, tucking a strand of blonde hair into her hat.

To emphasize Audra's point, Ellen yawned slightly. "I guess you told the truth, Honey," Jarrod said, his tone light.

All through dinner and the ride home Jarrod found himself wondering over his nephew's attitude. Thomas was polite when asked a question, but there was this strain to his smile and manners. Something that said that maybe he wasn't happy to be here? Or was it that he wasn't happy to be an Indian? Jarrod hoped that his nephew would tell him what was eating him. The last time Jarrod saw the boy he told his uncle everything. What had happened to change him?

Thomas sat on a fallen log in front of Fort Barkley. According to his mother this was a favorite place for the neighborhood children to play when his mother and father were children. The shack looked nice enough for children to play in. The only problem was that the roof looked like it would cave in at any moment.

Thomas looked at the clear water of the lake in front of him. The water was so clear that Thomas could see the pebbles in the bottom and his reflection shining on it like a mirror.

A few weeks ago Audra said he was as handsome as his father, but now all Thomas felt was how could he be handsome? He was the son of an Indian! Ellen had accepted her Indian blood readily enough, but he wasn't anything like his sister. She was proud of her Indian heritage, but he was not.

The thought of having people make fun of him all his life because of it made him feel saddened and angry at the same time.

Thomas didn't hear the sound come from inside the shack as he sat wallowing in self-pity.

* * * * * * * *

Tom Lightfoot had spent the last fifteen years in hiding. After being robbed in Sacramento a month after his marriage he had ran to the Modoc reservation.

Tom had stayed a few weeks only, but when he came back to Stockton he had found out that Audra had left the area and moved to Denver to stay with an aunt. Jarrod was the only one who knew he was alive.

Tom had found out about his twin children's births from Jarrod. Jarrod had told him all about Thomas and Ellen. Thomas had his temper, while Ellen was more like her mother. They both looked like Indians, but had dark blue eyes.

At times Tom wanted to see his children, but he knew that Audra hadn't told them anything about their heritage. It would be best to keep it that way. As long as the children thought they were white, they wouldn't be ridiculed by an Indian-prejudiced society.

Tom walked out of the cabin at Fort Barkley. He had loved this place since he was a boy and Jarrod said he could live here if he wanted.

Tom nearly started in surprise at the boy sitting on the log. He was scuffing his toes in the dirt and had a thick thatch of dark brown hair. He was looking at the lake. His look was that of one who looked angry and was about to cry.

Tom sat down next to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right, Boy?" Tom asked, concerned.

"No Sir. What do you do when your Mother has lied to you your whole life?" Thomas asked, his voice bitter.

"What did she lie about?" Tom asked.

"She never told me that my father was an Indian. I wouldn't have cared if she had just told me the truth," Thomas said, his voice cracking slightly.

"Maybe she did it to protect you. I have a son about your age that I have never met. My wife has never told him either," Tom said, touching a lock of the boy's hair.

Thomas looked up at the man he was talking to. The clothing he wore was Indian and had a band around his head. "What's your name?" Thomas asked, sounding polite for the first time.

"Tom. Tom Lightfoot. What's yours?" Tom asked.

"Tommy Light. I think I'd better go home, Mr. Lightfoot. My mother would be worried," Thomas said stiffly.

Thomas stood up and mounted his horse. It was all he could do not to look back at the Indian watching him ride away. That was his father! His father actually knew about him! For the first time in his life Thomas didn't know if he should tell his father who he really was or keep quiet about it.

Thomas entered the house quietly and went to the study. Ellen was reading a book. The hardcover book looked as if it had enough knowledge in it to split his twin sister's head in two.

"Hi, Ellie," Thomas said, sitting in a chair across from her.

"Hey, Tommy," Ellen said absentmindedly, never taking her eyes from the book.

"What are you reading, little sister?" Thomas asked, hoping it was a book that had nothing whatsoever to do with history.

"The history of Marie Antoinette. She was the last queen of France. She and her husband, Louis Auguste lost their heads by guillotine," Ellen said, her eyes shining with excitement.

History enthused his sister. Thomas had no love for the subject. It was boring trying to remember all those dates and usually Thomas had trouble remembering facts like his sister did. Ellen had a photogenic memory.

Ellen's dark blue eyes took on that of concern. "Tommy, are you all right? You look sad and angry," Ellen said, laying her book on the table and putting her elbows on her knees.

"I'm fine. Mother was right, though. Fort Barkley's a nice place," Thomas said, hoping Ellen wouldn't ask him any more questions.

"Thomas Lightfoot, I'm your twin sister. Don't hide anything from me. Tell me, what's the matter?" Ellen asked, slightly perturbed that Thomas would lie to her.

"It's our father," Thomas said, not meeting his sister's eyes.

"What about Father?" Ellen asked, confused.

"I met him today," Thomas said flatly.

"What? Our father is alive?" Ellen asked surprised.

"Yes. He's living at Fort Barkley," Thomas said.

"Mother did say that he liked that place so much. That night he got shot that was where he went," Ellen said, thinking out loud.

"Maybe that's true now. Ellie, he also said that he knew about us. He didn't know that he was talking to his son, but he knew that we existed," Thomas said, wondering how his sister would take this news.

"He had to have a reason. I have to talk to him. I have to know why he never was around you or me," Ellen said, defending her father's actions.

"Why do you defend him? He was never there, Ellie! I don't want him to be my father! I didn't exist for him so he doesn't exist for me!" Thomas said, his anger coming out in the form of tears.

"Tommy, he's still our father. Don't you want to know his reasons? We can't just say that we don't have a father just because you're mad at him. Please, Tommy? Let's just talk to him," Ellen said, standing up.

"All right, but you do the talking. I have nothing else to say to him," Thomas agreed, grudgingly.

* * * * * * * *

Tom stirred the pot of water lily bulbs in front of the fireplace when a knock on the door caused him to drop the ladle in the pot.

Tom went to the door. He opened it. Tommy Light and a girl about the same age were there.

"Hello, Tommy. Who are you?" Tom asked.

The girl's eyes watered with unshed tears. She was looking at his face as if he was the President of the United States. One lone tear streaked down her face. "You look just as I thought you would," the girl whispered, her voice rough with tears.

"Who are you?" Tom asked, puzzled by the girl's reaction.

"My name is Ellen...Ellen Lightfoot," Ellen said, the tears openly pouring down her face.

Tom's expression went from confused to open shock. Ellen Lightfoot? His daughter was here? That meant that Tommy Light was his son, Thomas Lightfoot. That also meant that his children knew they were Modoc.

By the stormy look on Thomas's face it was obvious his son was angry with him. "Why didn't you tell me who you were, Thomas?" Tom questioned his son.

"I couldn't. I just went by the nickname Ellie gave me and hoped you wouldn't guess that I was your son," Thomas said, his voice filled with anger.

Tom looked at his son in confusion. Why Thomas was angry with him, he couldn't hazard a guess. Ellen didn't appear too furious with her father, but Tom didn't know if that was true or not.

"Why didn't you ever come see Tommy and me?" Ellen asked, wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"Your uncle Jarrod was the only one who knew that I was alive and he told me that your mother let you think you were white. I thought that was the best thing. As long as society accepted the both of you as white, I wasn't going to show up and allow society to make fun of you," Tom said, hoping Ellen would understand.

"I see, but here in Stockton people are already aware of that fact. I am not ashamed of my Indian blood, Father," Ellen said, her voice changing from tear streaked to proud.

"It's a good thing you are not, Ellen. Part of being a Modoc is not being ashamed of it," Tom said, proud that his daughter loved her heritage.

"We have to get home, little sister. Mother's going to be furious if we're late for dinner," Thomas said, all too happy to end this conversation.

Ellen reluctantly nodded her head. "He's right. Mother would be furious," Ellen said.

"I have to eat my dinner too. I'm going to the Indian cemetery tomorrow and the Mission to visit some family members. I'll see you two tomorrow," Tom said, stepping back into the house.

"Good-bye, Father. I...I...I love you. I always wanted to say that to you," Ellen said, fresh tears falling down her smiling face.

"I love you too. I have loved you and your brother your whole lives. I'm just glad I can say that to you now," Tom said, touching his daughter's wet face with his hand.

"Come on, Ellie. Let's go home," Thomas said, walking over to his horse.

Ellen followed her brother over to her horse. After mounting she looked back at her father. He was watching them leave, his arm raised in farewell.

The walk to school was subdued for the twins as they walked with their Barkley cousins. Flora, Nick's daughter, and Elizabeth, Heath's daughter walked together. Thomas, Ellen, and Matilda walked behind the younger children.

Thomas was still sullenly silent as his sister and Matilda talked about nothing. Thomas carried, besides his books, Ellen and Matilda's books as well. Matilda's best subject was math and it was the heaviest book among them all.

The group turned onto the street that led to the school. The way things looked all was quiet in Stockton. Matilda said that no one, unless it was the ranchers, would be out this early in the morning.

"It feels good out here, Tildy," Thomas said, taking a deep breath of fresh air.

"I suppose so. Wait until a few weeks. We have lots of droughts here in Stockton. So we'll go two or three months without rain and the temperature will get to over one hundred degrees," Matilda said, sounding like the voice of knowledge.

"Does the drought ever bother the Modoc's crops?" Ellen asked her cousin.

"It does every now and then. Last year their barley crop was ruined and Grandmother took food out to the reservation every week," Matilda said.

"Where is the Indian cemetery, Matilda?" Thomas asked, thinking of where his father said he was going.

"It's on the south side of town. Why do you ask?" Matilda asked, confused. Thomas acted like he hated his Indian blood and he was now asking where the Modoc cemetery was.

"I was thinking of talking to my father and finding out where our grandfather is buried," Thomas admitted truthfully.

If he talked to his father, maybe he wouldn't feel so angry with Tom Lightfoot for neglecting him and his sister. He didn't really hate his blood, he just hated the fact that his mother would lie about his father and make him think he was someone else.

"Uncle Tom usually goes in the mornings or late at night to visit with your grandfather," Matilda said to her cousin.

"You knew that our father was alive, Matilda?" Ellen asked, surprised.

"Yes, but Papa made me promise not to tell anyone. Especially Aunt Audra," Matilda said, waiting for her angry cousin to get mad.

"I'm going there now. I'll see you in a few minutes," Thomas said, running toward the cemetery.

The four cousins watched Thomas leave; hoping that he wouldn't get angry.

* * * * * * * *

Tom Lightfoot sat next to his father's grave and traced his finger over the lettering on the crude wooden cross. His father had been dead since he was a boy. Tom had come here once a week before he went to Harvard and now that he lived in Stockton he continued the same tradition.

A heavy footstep caught Tom's attention. He stood and turned around suddenly. Thomas was staring back at him; his blue eyes glacial.

"Hello, Thomas," Tom said cordially.

"Hello. I just wanted to see where my grandfather is buried," Thomas said, his voice low and even.

"You have the right, my son," Tom said, hoping Thomas wouldn't take offense with what he just called him. Thomas didn't.

Thomas sank to his knees and looked at the cross that was over his grandfather's grave. He traced the name Lightfoot with his finger.

Tom placed his hand on Thomas's shoulder. "That is your name too, Thomas," Tom said, trying to get his son to talk to him.

"I know it is. I really don't hate my Indian blood, but I just feel so mad at you. How could you do this to both me and Ellie and Mother?" Thomas asked, his eyes filled with pain as he looked into his father's dark brown eyes.

Tom placed his other hand on Thomas's other shoulder. "At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to keep you safe. I thought that maybe later I could come back and tell you everything. Thomas, I am sorry," Tom said, his eyes filled with regret.

"I know you are, but sometimes just saying you're sorry isn't enough," Thomas said, his eyes cold and his tone brittle.

As Thomas moved to get up Tom pulled him into his arms and gave him a hug. Tom wrapped his arms around his father's neck and hugged him back.

"I have to go to school. I told Ellie and Matilda I'd only be here a few minutes," Thomas said, looking up at his father.

"All right. I'll see you later, my son," Tom said, hoping again that Thomas wouldn't get offended by his words.

"All right, my...my...Father," Thomas said haltingly.

To admit that Tom was his father was the hardest thing for him. It was to admit that Tom was going to give Tom a try to be his father.

Tom, Ellen, and their cousins sat on a fallen log eating lunch when a group of bullies made their way over to them.

Matilda's heart quaked at the sight of the bullies. Johnny Kemptor was the biggest bully in Stockton. He once threw a dodgeball at a little boy, knocking him to the ground. How he felt about Indians was also a known fact.

When Thomas had gotten up to work a math problem on the board, Johnny had stuck his large feet out into the aisle and tripped him. Thomas had said nothing, but he didn't disguise the fact that he was angry.

"Johnny, why don't you go jump in a lake?" Matilda asked, her voice cold

"Stay out of it, Injun lover," Johnny growled.

"Why don't you just go away?" Thomas asked calmly.

"Injun boy, did your ma ever tell you that your pa killed someone named Clem Watson?" Johnny asked rudely.

Thomas looked up, his dark blue eyes dark with anger. "That's not true," Thomas said, his voice still low and even.

"Tommy, ignore him. We can ask Mother about it later," Ellen said, her voice tight with anger.

"Yah, Tommy, ask Mother about it later," Johnny mocked.

Thomas stood to his feet and clenched his fist. He looked down at his sister and cousins. The look on Ellen's face told him not to hit Johnny, but common sense was not in the cards. Thomas hit Johnny square in the eye before anyone saw it coming.

Miss Penbrook, the teacher, had come outside to ring the bell when she saw Thomas hit Johnny. She didn't know why Thomas hit Johnny, but a schoolyard was not a place to fight, especially when the older boys should be showing the children that fighting was wrong.

"Thomas Lightfoot, what is the meaning of this?" The teacher asked, slapping Thomas's ears hard with her hands.

"It was Johnny's fault, Ma'am. He was making fun of Thomas and he made fun of his mother and sister," Flora stuck up for her cousin.

"That is no excuse for fighting, Flora Barkley. I am ashamed of you Thomas Lightfoot. You are to be an example to these little ones and instead you hit Johnny like a savage," Miss Penbrook rebuked.

"Yes Ma'am. I'm sorry I hit him in front of everyone," Thomas said quietly.

"I am informing your mother and you will write a hundred times for homework 'I will not fight. I will come up with better ways to handle disputes.' Now say you're sorry," Miss Penbrook said.

"I'm sorry I popped you in the eye even though you deserved it," Thomas said, his voice low and his face flushing with shame at having to apologize.

"Thomas!" Miss Penbrook said sharply.

"I forgive you, Half-breed," Johnny said, his voice ugly.

The cousins sat down to the lunch. Thomas sat there, not eating any more of his sandwich and apple. "Thomas, I'm sorry," Matilda said to her cousin, a look of remorse on her face.

"It's all right. I guess the people of Stockton are teaching their kids how to hate Modocs. Even half-Modocs," Thomas said glumly.

"What are you going to tell Mother?" Ellen asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Dunno. I probably won't say anything unless she asks me directly what happened. Are we still going out to Fort Barkley?" Thomas asked his sister.

"Yes. Maybe Father could tell us the truth about Clem Watson," Ellen said, picking up her notebook and empty dinner pail.

* * * * * * * *

The smell of smoke came out of the chimney at Fort Barkley. Ellen dismounted form her horse and knocked on the door. An elderly woman answered the door. "Hello. My name's Ellen. Is Tom Lightfoot in?" Ellen asked the Indian woman.

"Yes. Tom in," the woman said in broken English. She ushered both Tom and Ellen into the cabin.

Tom was talking to an elderly Indian man. Both sat on deerskin rugs and were smoking pipes. Tom looked up at the two children that just entered.

"Hello Thomas, Ellen," Tom greeted his two children.

"Hello, Father," Ellen said, sitting down on a chair.

Thomas looked at his father briefly and nodded. Thomas sat on the floor and opened his notebook to the writing punishment.

"What's this, my son?" Tom asked, touching the notebook.

"He's in trouble. He punched some bully in the eye and the teacher pitched a fit. She's making him write a hundred times that he will not get into fights and he will think of better ways to handle disputes," Ellen said, trying not to giggle at what Johnny's eye looked like.

"I see nothing funny about this, Ellie!" Thomas said, his face turning red with embarrassment.

"I'm not laughing at you, you dummy! I'm laughing at what Johnny's eye looks like after the redness has gone away," Ellen said, bursting into a fit of giggles.

Thomas finally had to admit that thought was funny and he started to laugh himself. "I am sorry that I hit him in front of those little children, but I'm not sorry for hitting him," Thomas said, after the laughter stopped.

"I wouldn't tell your mother that, Thomas," Tom said, jumping into the conversation.

"I'm not that stupid. If I was to tell her that I'd just be handing her the nails to my coffin," Thomas retorted.

Okay, so his son was still mad at him. But Tom had all the time in the world for his son to stop being angry with him.

The twins got out their homework and started to work as Tom talked with Jack Lightfoot. Tom looked over at his son. Thomas was looking at him, but looked away as his father's eyes met his. His son was mad at him, but Thomas was willing to stick up for his Indian relations if the time came.

Thomas had finished his homework and writing punishment an hour later. He rubbed his aching arm with his hand, hoping the cramp in his muscled shoulder would go away. It was an action not unnoticed by his father.

"Your arm hurt, Thomas?" Tom asked, concern in his dark brown eyes.

"Nah. I'm just rubbing my arm. All that writing has caused it to ache a little," Thomas said, avoiding his father's eyes.

"Yeah right. How are you going to explain what happened at school to Mother?" Ellen asked, her voice sarcastic.

"I could just tell her the truth and hope that she 's not going to be mad?" Thomas hazarded.

"Not going to be mad? This is Mother we're talking about!" Ellen said, her voice hysterical.

"Calm down. Just because we live in the same house as Nick Barkley you don't have to sound like him," Thomas said, trying not to laugh.

"Thank you, Uncle Jarrod," Ellen said, rolling her eyes.

Thomas started to laugh. "I don't sound that bad, Ellie," Thomas said. Both twins started to laugh when a knock was heard on the door.

Ruth Lightfoot answered the door. Jarrod and Heath entered the room. Tom, Jack, and the children stood up. Jarrod looked into his nephew's dark blue eyes.

"You're in trouble, Thomas," Jarrod started the sentence.

"Tell me something I don't know, Uncle Jarrod," Thomas said, his voice irritated.

"Miss Penbrook came to the house. She told Audra about your fight with Johnny Kemptor," Jarrod said, not upset by his nephew's rudeness.

"Again something I know. Like I told Ellie and Father I am sorry I hit him in front of the younger children. But I am not sorry that I hit him," Thomas said obstinately.

"Thomas Barkley Lightfoot that temper of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble! If I was your father-" Jarrod started in anger.

"Well, thank Heavens you're not!" Thomas said, his face turning red with anger.

The room filled with a deadly silence. Tom stared first at his son and then at his wife's brother. "Jarrod, I'm sorry," Tom tried to apologize.

"Tom, your son has your temper. Your temper has gotten you into a lot of trouble. I don't want that to happen to your son. He is not only an Indian. He's white and he has to learn how to live in the white world too. Punching a boy in the eye is not going to endear him to anyone. All the people of Stockton are going to see is a half-breed Indian boy who can't control his temper," Jarrod said, trying to pick his words carefully.

"Uncle Jarrod, you aren't my father. I'm not looking for a father," Thomas said, his voice restricted in pain.

"That makes us even, Thomas. I'm not looking for a son. Especially a boy who can't control his temper. How did your mother make you control it?" Jarrod asked, wondering how his sister had raised the twins all these years.

"She told me that I had to control it, but that was about it. Mother likes Ellie better than me anyway," Thomas said, his voice filled with bitterness.

"I think Sis would like ya better if you controlled your temper. Ya know, Tommy, when I was your age I lived with my mother and I was just as angry as you were over things," Heath said, jumping into the conversation.

"How did you control your anger, Uncle Heath?" Thomas asked, cocking his head to one side.

"When I came to your grandfather's family then I learned to control it," Heath said, a cryptic reply.

Thomas looked at his father. "Do you think I can control my anger?" Thomas asked his father, with no anger in his eyes.

"If I can so can you, my son," Tom said.

'All right. I'm willing to try controlling my temper. Uncle Jarrod I'm sorry for what I said to you about not being my father. I didn't mean it," Thomas said apologetically to his uncle.

"I forgive you, Thomas. Does this mean you are going to talk to your father and listen to what he has to say about being Modoc?" Jarrod asked.

Thomas grinned. "Yes. I guess I'm going to start letting my hair grow out as long as Ellen's," Thomas said, a teasing look in his blue eyes.

It took Tom, Heath, and Jarrod a few minutes to catch on with the joke. By the look of barely suppressed laughter on Ellen and Thomas's faces the three men burst into laughter.

When the laughter subsided Thomas looked at his uncles. "I guess I'd better go apologize to Mother," Thomas said.

"You'd better. I'm coming with you. I need to apologize to her and everyone else for thinking I was dead," Tom said, clapping his son's neck with his large hand.

The family rode toward the big house, this obstacle with Thomas's fight over. None of them knew that the racial war against Tom and the twins had just started.

Thomas's stomach hurt. Uncle Jarrod had said his mother was angry with him for that fight, but Thomas didn't know how mad she was. Audra Lightfoot's temper was like Heath's in a lot of ways. The house appeared in the distance, nearly causing Thomas to throw up.

"Relax, Tommy. Mother won't be too mad at you," Ellen said, stepping up to her twin's side.

"Easy for you to say. It was my temper that got me into this mess," Thomas said gruffly.

"Maybe she won't be too mad. Miss Penbrook hates Indians and how much is Mother going to believe anyway of that fight?" Ellen asked, sticking out her lower lip and pushing back her long dark brown hair.

"Don't know. Uncle Jarrod, how mad is Mother?" Thomas asked his uncle.

"Pretty mad, Thomas. Her face turned red," Jarrod said, knowing that this didn't make his nephew feel any better about this.

"Darn," Thomas muttered under his breath.

Tom placed his hand on the back of Thomas's neck. "I'm right here, Thomas," Tom said, hoping that his son wasn't still mad at him.

Thomas nodded his head wordlessly and bit the inside of his cheek. Heath opened the door to the house and the group stepped in.

Audra's audible gasp was heard as she spotted her husband standing next to the twins. Audra's eyes filmed over with tears as she looked into her husband's eyes.

"Tom?" Audra asked, in a shaky voice.

"Hello, Audra," Tom said. After fifteen years Audra was still beautiful. Her golden hair and blue eyes were still lovely. It was amazing that Ellen hadn't gotten her mother's hair color.

"Tom, we heard that you were dead," Audra said, tears rolling down her face.

"No. I was robbed in Sacramento. I thought it was wise to hide out at the reservation. When I came back to Stockton I'd heard that you had left and you were pregnant. Jarrod was the only one who knew that I was alive," Tom said, his words causing Audra to become angry with her brother.

"Jarrod, how could you?" Audra asked, her voice angry.

"I told Tom that you weren't going to tell the children of their Modoc heritage and he agreed that you were right. He didn't know you were back in Stockton until he met the twins yesterday at Fort Barkley," Jarrod said, hoping that Audra wouldn't blame him for keeping quiet.

Audra's anger then turned to her fourteen-year-old son. "And Miss Penbrook told me about your fight today, Thomas. What have you got to say for yourself, Thomas Barkley Lightfoot?" Audra raged using all three of his names. It was never a good sign.

"I'm sorry I hit that loudmouth in front of the smaller children," Thomas muttered.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times; CONTROL YOUR TEMPER!" Audra shouted the last part.

"Yes Ma'am," Thomas said, lowering his blue eyes.

"That's all I'm going to say about it. If I hear any more stories like this from your teacher you'll go to bed without supper. Do I make myself clear?" Audra asked, her voice softening.

"Yes Mother," Thomas said.

"Now go upstairs and get cleaned up for supper," Audra said to both twins. As the twins walked upstairs they heard their parents talking. At least their father was sorry for making everyone think he was dead. But would the town of Stockton still talk bad about him and the twins in the weeks to come?

Dinner that night was quiet. It was like one word would have started an argument. Besides "Please pass the spinach," no one spoke.

Ellen and Thomas kept looking between their father and mother. Audra was poking at the food on her plate and their father wasn't eating anything on his plate. Someone had to break the silence.

"Mother, who's Clem Watson?" Thomas asked, knowing that this question might start a quarrel.

He was right. Audra's blue eyes turned stormy and her lips pressed into the thinnest of lines. "Where did you hear that name, Thomas?" Audra asked her son, her voice low and calm.

"Miss Penbrook probably didn't tell you why I hit Johnny. He said that my father killed a man named Clem Watson," Thomas said, looking at his father, his eyes begging him to discredit that tale.

Tom shook his head in wonderment. After all these years a lot of people still thought he killed Clem Watson. "That is a lie. I have never killed a man in my life," Tom said, nearly smiling at the look of relief in Thomas's eyes.

"Johnny was making fun of us at lunch. He asked if we knew that you had killed a man," Ellen said, eating a bite of her potato.

"People never change do they, Tom?" Jarrod asked his brother-in-law.

"I guess not. They still hate Modocs enough around here to make fun of my children," Tom said, his eyes sad.

"But who did kill Clem Watson, Uncle Jarrod?" Ellen asked, looking at her uncle.

"His brother, Ben did. Two years before you were born your father had just graduated from Harvard. When he came back he got into a fight with Ben and Clem Watson and threatened to kill them. Clem was found dead that night and Ben and a saloon girl framed your father and said he did it," Jarrod said, finishing the long explanation.

"Where were you when it happened, Father?" Ellen asked, turning her blue eyes back to Tom.

"I was visiting your grandfather out at the Indian cemetery on the south side of town," Tom said, taking sip of his coffee.

'Well your father went to trial and I was his lawyer. Of course your father was a lot like you, Thomas, and was very angry at what the white man had done to the Modocs. He was ready to kill every white man in Stockton," Jarrod said, hoping that this would teach his nephew to control his temper.

"Then I got shot out at Fort Barkley. Your Uncle Nick brought me back here and that was when I got my job in Sacramento," Tom said, finally ending the story.

"Thomas, doesn't that story tell you to watch your temper?" Victoria asked. Apparently everyone felt that this certain story would tell Thomas to watch his temper.

"Maybe. But I'm not about to go killing white men. I'm only half-Indian. If I went shooting white men I'd be killing my own blood," Thomas said, as if everyone thought he could be that dumb.

"There's a good reason for ya," Nick said, biting into his fourth biscuit.

Thomas's eyebrows quirked at his uncle's food intake in amusement. "Uncle Nick, you're going to pop if you eat all that! If my mother cooked all that it can't be that good!" Thomas said without thinking.

"Thomas!" Audra said in mock-anger.

"It's true, Mother. Your cooking never tasted that good. Even after Aunt Lydia taught you how!" Thomas said, his eyes giving away how much he was enjoying teasing his mother.

"So Audra you learned how to cook," Tom commented.

"Tom, my cooking wasn't that horrible," Audra huffed, smacking Tom's chest with her hand.

"The first time you cooked for me, I still couldn't decide if it was a potato or a charcoal briquette on my plate," Tom muttered under his breath.

The whole family-except Audra-burst into laughter. It was fun to not be angry with each other and just laugh at a family joke. Right now no one cared that Tom and his children would be made fun of. Right now everyone was happy that they were part of a family.

Early the next morning Ellen, Thomas, and their cousins went to school. Tom decided to ride to school with his children. Thomas rode his horse, Midnight, on one side of his sister; Tom rode his horse, Stormy, on the other side of Ellen.

Personally Tom liked this idea. He remembered what it was like the day Clem Watson was murdered. After he had walked away from Audra in an angry huff Lil Bailey had slapped him. The Watson brothers had started a fight with Tom, causing Tom to hate white people that day.

The hatred Tom had felt inside had gone away after being shot by the sheriff. Audra's concern over his arm and Nick's comment about hoping that he realized that his blood was red like everyone else's had opened Tom's eyes. The hatred had diminished even more after Jarrod told him that he was the father of twins.

His children would be always half-white, half-Indian. Their blue eyes were evidence of that.

"Papa, are you going to stay in town today?" Ellen asked, breaking Tom's train of thought.

Ellen had moved from the stiff, formal "Father" to "Papa" overnight. Thomas still called him "Father," but it was touching that at least one of his children wasn't mad at him.

"I have to run a few errands, but I'll be in town when you get out of school today, Ellen," Tom said, smiling at his daughter.

"That's good. I hope Johnny Kemptor doesn't show up at school today, Tommy," Ellen said, looking at her brother.

"Yeah, me too. If I hit him again I could get in serious trouble," Thomas said, licking his lips.

"But if he provokes your anger, Cousin, Aunt Audra won't be mad," Matilda said, saying what Ellen was thinking.

"Perhaps not. But I'm not an idiot. I'm going to try to watch my temper today," Thomas said, keeping his dark blue eyes on the road.

"Maybe that's a wise course to take, Thomas," Tom said, looking over Ellen's head at his son.

"Tommy, would it make it any better if I told the teacher that Johnny makes fun of you? Flora asked, looking at her older cousin with large eyes.

"No. Little cousin, Miss Penbrook hates Modocs and Ellie and me are half-Modoc. I wish white people didn't hate us-" Tommy started.

"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride, Tommy," Ellen interrupted.

"I guess you're right," Thomas said, dismounting in front of the school.

Everyone else dismounted, except Tom. "I guess I'll see you after school Ellen, Thomas," Tom said, kissing his daughter's forehead and ruffling his son's hair.

He rode away as the children entered the schoolhouse.

Continued…