I’ll Walk Beside You

By Marion

Rating: G

The Ponderosa and the Cartwrights are not mine (except for Annie, of course) Thank you to Mr. Dortort for allowing me to play on the Ponderosa for a little while. This story is purely for entertainment and is not intended to infringe on the rights of anyone else involved with Bonanza and Ponderosa.

Ben Cartwright sat on the porch, legs stretched in front of him, enjoying a rare moment of solitude during the day. The early March weather was unseasonably warm, requiring only a coat, and not the scarves, gloves and layers in which they had been bundled for the past several months. Ben glanced around at the few piles of snow scattered about the yard, and wondered idly if they had seen the last snowfall of the season. He fervently hoped so.

He looked at the trail leading to the ranch and smiled at the lone horsewoman riding toward the house, her skirts billowing in the breeze. He wondered for the hundredth time that day why she needed to see him so urgently. That morning, Margaret Greene had sent word with a ranch hand that she needed to talk with Ben privately, and that if convenient, she would call that afternoon. Ben had replied that he would be home all day.

He hurried from the porch when she rode up. He held her horse’s bridle as she dismounted and brushed her skirts out. She looked around the yard as she drew her shawl tightly about her.

"Where is everyone?"

"Annie and Joe are in school, Adam and Hoss are rounding up strays. I think Hop Sing’s in the house." He escorted her to the porch. "Would you like some coffee?"

Margaret shook her head, her dark hair flashing in the sunlight. Ben was caught in the memory of another dark-haired woman, many years ago, and he almost didn’t hear Margaret say, "Ben, I need to speak with you privately."

Ben shook himself. "So your note said." He gestured toward the bench. "Have a seat."

They sat for a minute in silence, Margaret turning her ring nervously. "Ben, I’ve received a letter from my brother. His wife died a few months ago."

"I’m sorry, Margaret."

She looked away. "I didn’t know her well. But Paul has asked me to come east to help him."

Ben nodded. She had gone back east for several months when her mother had died. "How long will you be gone? We’ll be happy to keep an eye on the ranch, of course."

Margaret shook her head emphatically. "No, Ben, he wants me to come help him raise his children. He’s asking me to move back to Ohio."

"Oh." A myriad of incoherent thoughts swirled through Ben’s mind. "That’s quite a decision."

Margaret shrugged. "It was easy, actually." She sighed deeply. "I can’t do this anymore, Ben. I never wanted to be here in the first place – it was Luther’s idea. It’s all right for you, you’re a man, and you have sons, but life here is hard for a woman. It isn’t the future I want for Tess." She stared at Ben intently, almost accusatorily. "There’s nothing to keep me here."

"I’m sorry to hear that, Margaret." Ben meant that sincerely. He knew that she was disappointed that he could not return her feelings for him, but he enjoyed Margaret’s company, as a friend. "What does Tess think about this?" He remembered a few years back that the girl had been so adamant about staying on the ranch.

"I think she realizes how hard it would be to be a rancher’s wife." Margaret folded her hands on her lap. "There’s nothing to hold her here anymore."

Ben wanted to protest that that was Tess’s doing – that Hoss had bent over backwards to be kind to Tess, he had ignored her insults, her wandering eye, but that he had finally decided enough was enough. Truth-be-told, Ben had been proud of Hoss when the lad had finally decided he had had enough of the fickleTess Greene.

Margaret turned toward the yard. "I want to give you the first chance to buy the ranch, Ben."

Ben sat back so suddenly that he almost knocked his head against the wall. Greene Valley would be an incredible addition to the Ponderosa. But, with Adam leaving soon, and good hired hands hard to find, Ben wasn’t sure he could manage the extra land. And then there was the cost. Cash was hard to come by right now.

Ben dragged his fingers through his hair. "How much are you asking?"

She told him the price. "That would include the land, buildings, all the animals, and some of the contents of the house." She turned back to face him. "I understand it’s a big decision, Ben. Why don’t you take a couple of days to think it over? I’m planning to leave in April."

She stood, and Ben quickly rose. "Maggie, are you sure this is what you want?"

Margaret stepped off the porch. "My mind’s made up, Ben." She took the reins from his hand, and mounted her horse. "I am tired of the fight." She turned the horse and rode off before Ben could respond.

Ben sat on the bench again, contemplating Margaret’s offer. Greene Valley was a handsome piece of land, with good grazing and bountiful water, including streams that the Ponderosa needed. Buying it would greatly increase the size of the Ponderosa. Not buying it would mean that someone else would have an advantage over the Cartwrights, especially if the neighbors were hostile, like the Finleys. The ranch was worth every nickel Margaret was asking. The problem was that Ben didn’t have that much cash, even if he were willing to mortgage the Ponderosa, which he was not.

Ben stretched. He did have access to enough cash, but it wasn’t his. The law gave him the right to use the money as he chose, but he would not use Annie’s inheritance for his own gain. It would take all of Ed’s investments to meet Margaret’s price. That was a decision Ben would not make on his own, but he wasn’t sure it was right for him to ask Annie.

He sat for so long that he lost track of the day. Annie and Joe rode into the yard, followed by Adam and Hoss. All four of them stared at him sitting, not working.

"Pa?" Hoss hurried to the edge of the porch. "Pa, are you feeling all right?"

Ben tilted his head back and regarded his son. "I’m fine, Hoss. What makes you think I might not be?"

Hoss glanced at his brothers and Annie, and looked back at Ben, sheepish. "It’s just, well, it’s the middle of the afternoon and there’s work to be done and, well sir, you’re just sitting there."

Ben stood and stretched. "So, you’re telling me to get back to work, is that it?"

He laughed as Hoss tried to stammer that he wasn’t trying to tell anyone what to do. "You’re right, son. I need to get back to work." He gestured to his children, standing around. "And so do you."

Ben put all thoughts of Greene Valley from his mind until after everyone went to bed that evening. He sat up late into the night, reviewing the Ponderosa’s books, studying the last accountings he had received from his brother’s lawyer. He wouldn’t need to use all of Ed’s money, but he would need a substantial portion of it. Finally Ben stretched, and rubbed his bleary eyes. He needed to get advice from someone. Normally he would talk the decision over with Adam, but Ben was reluctant this time. Adam was already showing signs of second-guessing his decision to go east for college. If Ben mentioned the possibility of buying Greene Valley without any plan on how he’d manage it, Adam would insist that he had to stay with his family. Ben wouldn’t let Adam give up his one chance of fulfilling his lifelong dream of college. His son had made too many sacrifices already in his young life.

After putting his books and papers away in the desk drawer, Ben reached out to touch the carvings on the desk. Sitting at Ed’s desk always made Ben feel closer to his brother. Ed was a good businessman, something he had learned from listening to the men who would frequent the chandleries Father had managed. Ben smiled as he remembered Father reprimanding Eddie for interrupting two ship owners’ conversation, but that didn’t stop the men from answering Eddie’s questions for him. Ben wished he could ask Ed’s advice now.

Ben stood and leaned forward to blow out the candle. He checked to be sure the fire was banked, peeked in on his children and went to bed.

The next morning found all the Cartwrights at home. Ben and his sons were finishing the repairs to the bunkhouse roof. Ben and Joe were on the roof, hammering the tarpaper in place while Hoss and Adam were busy cutting shingling. Ben glanced up from his work and saw Annie and Hop Sing putting seeds in little boxes and pots. The two of them had decided over the winter to enlarge the garden, so that they might have more produce to last through the winter. Hop Sing had decided they would start plants early by planting seeds and keeping the pots inside when it was cold. Ben shook his head as he saw his niece wearing trousers. He could never reconcile himself to that sight. He hoped Mitch would not decide to stop over unexpectedly.

"Pa?" Adam’s voice caught Ben’s attention. "Pa, we’ve got company."

Ben looked toward the hill. Sure enough, a rider was approaching. Ben squinted to see through the sun’s glare but shook his head. He couldn’t make out who it was until the horse entered the yard. It was the schoolteacher, John Taylor.

"Uh-oh."

Ben turned toward Joe. The young man looked concerned but wouldn’t meet his father’s eye. Ben rolled his eyes as he climbed down the ladder.

"Ben, good afternoon!" John hurried to meet Ben.

"What brings you here, John?" Ben glanced back at the roof, and then over to Annie, watching her uncle and teacher while she pretended to work. "I hope Joe and Annie aren’t in trouble."

John looked around. "Nothing I didn’t handle yesterday, Ben." He laughed as Ben scowled. "Not that it will do any harm for them to think I’m telling you."

Ben’s curiosity was burning, and he reached out to stop his friend. "And are you going to tell me?"

John chuckled. "Several of the older students decided to play some harmless pranks on the younger ones. Unfortunately they decided to do it during class time instead of recess. So now they’ll spend their recesses for the next week making sure those younger students are having fun." John laughed some more. "Some of the older students objected to that, but Annie and Joe had the sense to apologize to me and to the students, and accept their fate."

"Well, I’ll leave it at that, then, John." Ben gestured toward the steps and followed the schoolmaster into the house. "So why did you ride out all this way?" Ben hurried over to the stove and poured two cups of coffee. "And I’m forgetting my manners. How are Lia and little Josiah?"

John nodded his thanks as Ben handed him the cup, and Ben almost laughed as the man puffed up at the mention of his newborn son. "They are both well, thank the Lord. Lia has recovered from her confinement, and Josiah is a healthy boy." John took a sip of the coffee. "But Ben, promise me at some point he will sleep through the night?"

Ben’s laughter echoed in the cabin. "He will. But wait, in a few years he’ll start doing things that keep you awake anyway!"

The two men settled into the chairs by the fireplace. John sipped more coffee and then leaned forward. "Ben, I’ve come to tell you that I will be resigning as teacher at the end of this term."

Ben almost dropped his coffee cup in his surprise. He didn’t know what to say – the idea of another friend leaving Eagle Station was too distressing.

John must have sensed what Ben was thinking for he shook his head. "No, I’m not leaving Eagle Station. But Lia and I have been talking, and while I have no complaints about how I am treated, a schoolteacher’s salary does not lend itself to raising a family. I’ve already spoken with Eli, as he was the one who hired me."

Ben sat back, relief washing over him. "What will you do?" He couldn’t see his friend as a rancher.

"Well, you recall that I studied law in my younger days when I apprenticed back east. I’ve been studying again, and I plan to open a law office here in Eagle Station. The area is growing, and I believe we will need lawyers."

This was the answer to Ben’s prayers. He needed legal advice if he wanted to proceed with borrowing Annie’s money. "You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that you will be staying here, John. I’d miss you."

John grinned. "No, Lia and I are very happy here. Eagle Station is such a new and growing town, and being here, now, makes us feel like we’re part of something important."

Ben knew what he meant, for he, too, came from an established New England town. Watching Eagle Station grow was not unlike watching his own sons grow.

"John, I believe I have your first client."

The schoolmaster raised an eyebrow, but he listened to Ben explain that Margaret Greene was leaving, and that she had offered Ben right of first refusal on Greene Valley. He nodded when Ben mentioned Annie’s inheritance, and how Ben was considering borrowing it to buy the ranch. He sipped his coffee as Ben finished talking and sat back in the chair.

"Have you spoken with Annie yet?"

Ben shook his head. "You’re the first person I’ve spoken with, other than Margaret."

John leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "Ben, have you ever spoken to Annie about her future?"

Ben was surprised by the question. "No, not in so many words." He grimaced. "I have a good idea what she pictures, though."

The schoolteacher grinned. "When you talk like that Ben, it makes me glad I have a son!" He sat back. "No, I mean have you ever spoken to her about her father’s money, and what she might do with it when it’s hers?"

Ben shook his head. "No. I guess I haven’t given it much thought; Ed’s will gave me control over the money until Annie is 25 or until she is married, whichever is first."

"All right; let me make a different suggestion. You want to borrow the money, and repay it with interest. What if, instead, you give Annie the opportunity to buy shares of the Ponderosa – in effect, set the ranch up as a corporation?"

Ben frowned. "I’m familiar with corporations, of course. A lot of the ships back east were organized that way. But I’m not sure what good it would do in this case. Why not borrow the money from Annie and repay her? She can buy land when she’s of age, if that’s what she wants." Ben shifted uncomfortably. "And the Ponderosa will be part hers some day as well. I don’t intend to differentiate between Annie and my sons."

"All the more reason to use her money to expand the ranch without worrying about paying it back. Rather than pay the interest, you can use that money to further invest in the ranch. You’ll be able to provide a very handsome future for her, and for your sons." John waved his hand toward Ben. "And, as your attorney, I have to ask, do you have a will?"

Ben shook his head ruefully. "No. I’ve never needed one." He laughed suddenly. "I guess it’s a good thing you’ve decided to turn to the law."

John nodded as he smiled. "We can do that later. But think about my suggestion. If you’re not completely comfortable with it, plan to pay some of the money back to Annie, or invest it in other ventures, but let the rest be used to expand the Ponderosa.

"Ben, I think this area is going to settle quickly. People will realize they aren’t going to get rich off California gold, and they will want to buy land. Why go all the way to California, when they can buy land here, and not have to risk crossing the Sierra? Expand the Ponderosa now, and you’ll have plenty of space for the boys and for Annie when they get married. Who knows if decent land will be available in a few years?"

Ben frowned. He hadn’t thought about a population boom around Eagle Station, and he hadn’t considered where his sons would live when they married and had families. "But, what if the Ponderosa fails? Annie will have nothing."

John’s laughter filled the room. "Ben, I can’t predict the future, but I can tell you this much. Anything the Cartwrights decide to do will not be a failure, my friend."

Ben had no time to speak before the door flew open and Annie ran into her room.

"What the...?" Ben hurried to the door, John right behind him. John chuckled as he saw Mitch standing by the porch.

John clapped Ben on the shoulder. "Judging by the guilty look Mitch gave you, I’d say he enjoyed the sight of Annie in trousers!"

Ben glowered at his friend. "I think I won’t invite you to lunch now."

"I can’t stay." John chuckled again. "Lia is expecting me." He held out his hand. "Think about what I said, Ben, and let me know."

"Thank you, John. Be sure to send me your bill." Ben grinned as he shook John’s hand and walked him to his horse.

Ben noticed the sack hanging from Mitch’s saddle. Undoubtedly the young man had stopped by to return some tools that his father had borrowed. He blushed when Ben stopped to speak with him, but his eyes lit up when Annie came outside, decently attired in a dress. Ben rested his arm lightly on Mitch’s shoulder.

"Stay for lunch, Mitch?"

Mitch never took his eyes off Annie. "Thank you, sir, I’d like that."

Ben refrained from rolling his eyes at the young man’s actions. As he turned to look at Annie, Ben noticed that she was giving him nervous looks. A quick glance to Joe showed the same reaction. No doubt they were wondering what John Taylor had said about the previous day’s troubles.

"Mitch?" Ben shook the young man slightly when he didn’t respond. "Mitch, would you take the tools to the shed? Hoss can show you where they go."

Mitch looked at Ben blankly for a minute. "Oh, right. Yes, sir, I’ll do that." He hurried toward his horse to retrieve the bundle of tools.

"Joseph?" Ben waved toward his youngest son. The boy’s shoulders slumped and he hurried toward his father. "Anna?" Annie, too, hurried toward Ben.

Both youngsters squirmed as they stood in front of Ben. He eyed them for a minute before shaking his head slowly. "I understand you two will be entertaining the younger children next week."

"Yes, Pa."

"Yes, sir."

Ben crossed his arms as he continued to stare at them. "I think we’ll leave it at that this time, but I’d better not hear of any more pranks at school."

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, Uncle Ben."

He waved toward the barn. "Joseph, go clean up our tools. Anna, Mitch will be joining us for lunch, so you might want to set an extra plate."

As Annie and Joe hastened to finish their chores, Ben shook his head. Annie looked far too happy for a young lady who was just scolded.

Ben didn’t have a chance to be alone with Annie all afternoon, but was determined to speak with her that day. He wanted to make his decision and let Margaret know by Monday, and he did not want to discuss business on the Lord’s Day. It was tonight or not at all. When he was done eating supper, he set his napkin beside his plate and stood. "Thank you, Hop Sing." He glanced around the table and saw that Annie had finished her supper as well. "Annie, would you join me outside, please?"

Annie stared at her uncle for a moment, and then looked at Adam. He shrugged slightly, and Annie rose to follow Ben out the door. Ben sat on the bench, and gestured for Annie to sit. To his surprise, she stood in front of him, hands behind her back.

"Uncle Ben, I’m sorry"

Ben looked at her curiously. "You’re sorry." He was confused; they had already spoken about the school pranks.

She blushed. "Yes, sir. I shouldn’t have said that and I’ll apologize to Adam."

"You’ll apologize to Adam."

Annie squirmed. "Yes, sir. I know better... and you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you."

Ben shook his head.

Now she stared at him in disbelief. "You didn’t ask me out here to scold me, did you."

"Nope."

Annie rolled her eyes. "And now you’re going to wait patiently until I explain, aren’t you?"

Ben nodded. "Yup."

Annie waved her hands. "It’s not important."

"Obviously you think it’s important enough that I would scold you." Ben sat back and crossed his arms. He waited and when Annie said nothing, he leaned forward.

Annie’s shoulders sagged. "I was doing my chores, and Adam was giving me a hard time, telling me I was doing things wrong. I told him to stick his head in a manure pile."

Ben covered his mouth to hide his smile. He was sure he didn’t want to know if she actually used the word manure. "I think an apology might be in order, don’t you?"

Annie rolled her eyes. Again. "I suppose you’re right." She sat on the bench next to him. "So, why did you want to see me if I’m not in trouble?"

Ben grinned. "I can’t talk to you if you’re not in trouble?" He turned to face her. "Annie, I need to discuss something with you, but you need to keep it confidential for now."

Annie frowned. "This sounds serious, Uncle Ben."

"Margaret Greene came to see me yesterday." Ben took a deep breath. "She’s decided to sell the ranch and move back east."

Annie raised an eyebrow, but she didn’t seem too surprised. She glanced at her uncle. "And you want to buy the ranch."

"Mrs. Greene’s giving me first refusal, yes."

"Would you like to know what I think, Uncle Ben?"

"Yes."

"We’d be insane not to buy it. That land borders ours. We share several major water sources, and we’d be at the mercy of whoever bought it. The kind of ranching we want to do requires a lot of land, and that’s the best piece in the area."

Ben smirked. "I thought you thought ranching was boring."

Now Annie grinned. "Well, it’s not like I have much of a choice but to listen when you and Adam start talking." She stood and turned to face her uncle. "Is she asking a reasonable price?"

"Yes, she is. But, I don’t have enough cash." Ben also stood and leaned against the post. "I could mortgage the Ponderosa, but I’d rather not do that." He reached out to touch her arm. "I’d like to use your father’s money, as a loan, but I didn’t want to do it without asking you first. I would pay you back, with interest." He decided not to mention John Taylor’s proposal that she become a shareholder in the ranch.

"You don’t need to pay me interest, Uncle Ben." She moved to stand close to him. "You can have that money for all I care."

Ben hugged her. "No, Annie. Your father wanted to provide for you; I won’t take your money." He stood quietly a minute, content to feel her leaning against him. "I haven’t made up my mind yet, Annie, so keep this between us." He tugged her braid. "Now go apologize to Adam."

"All right." She stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"For?"

"For asking. I know that you don’t have to ask my permission. You could just take the money."

Ben frowned. "I would never do that," he protested.

"I know, but I also know that the law gives you the right." Annie shrugged. "So, thank you."

Ben sat outside for a while after Annie went into the house. He was no more certain about what he should do than he was before he asked John. Yet, even a fifteen-year-old girl had said it – he would be insane to not buy Greene Valley.

But how would he run the expanded ranch? He needed hands – reliable hands, and these days, reliable men were hard to come by. Too many of them wanted to get rich in the gold fields of California, and too few of them wanted to work hard.

Ben went to bed without coming any closer to the answer but he knew he had decided to meet Margaret’s asking price. The Cartwrights would get by somehow.

The preacher was in fine form the next morning; his sermon was so long-winded that Ben had to will himself to not fidget. Ben considered it nothing short of miraculous that he only had to tap Joe once, and he couldn’t bring himself to ask any of his children to repeat the lesson for the day after they left the church.

Ben stepped into the warm air, taking a deep breath as he walked. Annie, Joe and Adam had already hurried to see friends as the congregation spilled from the church. Only Hoss remained by his side.

"Pa?"

Ben turned and shielded his eyes from the sun. "Yes, Hoss?"

Hoss stopped and rested his hand on Ben’s arm. He looked around before turning his attention to his father. "Pa, is something wrong?"

Ben was startled. "No, son. Why would you think that?"

Hoss shrugged self-consciously. "Well, you seem like you’ve been thinkin’ hard the last couple of days, and you weren’t really paying much attention in church today."

Ben grinned. "Were you tempted to tap my leg?" He was rewarded with a laugh from his son.

"Well, sir, I guess that did cross my mind." He leaned closer to his father. "I was just worried that something might be wrong, is all."

"I’m fine, son." Ben reached out to clasp Hoss’s arm. "I do have something on my mind, but it’s one of those things I need to work out on my own. It’s nothing bad, though. I promise you that." Ben noticed a young lady peeking at Hoss from underneath her bonnet, and he lifted his chin toward her. "I think someone is hoping to speak to you."

Hoss turned and blushed. "That’s Lucinda. She’s kinda new in town. I was talkin’ to her a few weeks back, when Annie had that trouble with the Finleys." He glanced at his father from the corner of his eyes. "I’m, uh, thinkin’ of asking her to the next dance."

Ben slapped Hoss on the back. "Well, then, young man, I suggest you stop worrying about your old father and go speak with her, before someone else does!"

He grinned as he watched Hoss make his way to Lucinda’s side. Even from a distance, Ben could see the young lady perk up when Hoss spoke to her.

A quick glance of the crowd showed that Adam was busy speaking with Ro. Ben wondered briefly what would happen there when Adam went to college, but he decided quickly that is was none of his business. Ben chuckled; where his sons were concerned, everything was his business. Not that the boys would agree with him.

He looked around some more, finally finding Joe in a crowd of boys, as usual, all laughing but not misbehaving. Ben nodded as he looked at Joe and his friends. He knew all their fathers, and what would happen if the boys started to fool around in the churchyard on a Sunday.

Annie was a little harder to find, but finally he saw her standing under a tree, talking with Mitch. Ben frowned as he noticed Annie leaning against the trunk; one of Mitch’s hands was resting on the tree above her head, the other was holding Annie’s hand. Mitch was standing entirely too close to her for Ben’s liking. Ben relaxed slightly. Annie had apparently seen him watching her, for Ben could see her speak to Mitch. Mitch glanced around and stood straight, arms folded over his chest.

Ben nodded, satisfied that he knew everyone was accounted for. He hurried over to join the group clustered around John Taylor and his little family. John winced as the women cooed and admired the baby in Lia’s arms, and the look he gave Ben was positively comical. Ben knew how he felt. He never understood what it was about a baby that turned women into babbling children. He smiled to himself. He remembered saying that to Marie once, when Joe was an infant. Needless to say, what he heard next was neither babbling nor childlike!

"That’s a fine young man you’re holding, Lia."

Lia nodded as Ben leaned close to see the baby’s face. "Thank you, Ben." She adjusted the blanket swaddling Josiah, protecting him from the early spring chill. "We’re rather proud of him ourselves."

John touched Ben’s arm. "We were hoping that the Cartwrights would join us for supper today, Ben. I meant to ask you yesterday, but clean forgot." He leaned close. "Please say yes, I’m in enough trouble with Lia right now."

"I’d be delighted, John, and I know Hoss, Joe and Annie will be, too." Ben nodded toward Adam. "I suspect Adam has other plans."

John looked to Adam and Ro. "Did you know that Eli offered her the position of school teacher for next term? I think he’s made an excellent choice.

Ben thought a moment. Yes, Ro would be a good choice, although he wondered if she could maintain discipline in the classroom, especially with her two mischievous brothers. But when he said as much to John, his friend laughed.

"Eli asked her that same question. She said not to worry, that she only had to suggest mentioning mischief to her father and both boys would behave themselves." John leaned closer. "Eli did ask her to not tell this to anyone except her parents. I’d like the students to know that this is my last term from me, and not from the gossip around town. I’m planning to tell Annie and Joe this afternoon if you don’t mind." John grinned ruefully. "I don’t think Joe will be upset, but I’m a little worried that Annie might be." John straightened. "You know, if she were a few years older, I would have recommended her for the position. But, I suspect you’ll be needing her help a lot more once Adam goes."

Ben was confused. "Annie can’t do Adam’s work, John."

"Not the rough work, no, but I know that Adam does a lot of your bookwork for you. He’s told me that. And he reads the contracts and agreements."

Ben laughed. "I think Annie’s a bit young to step into Adam’s shoes there."

John shook his head, but before he could respond, little Josiah let out a cry, and John hurried to Lia’s side. Ben grinned at the new father’s face. He remembered those desperate feelings of helplessness when the baby cried. But John would figure it out. If Ben could, any father could.

Lia glanced over at him. "Ben, we’re going to head home now. I think it’s too cold for Josiah. Bring the family when you’re ready."

"Let me just round them up, Lia, and we’ll be over, thank you."

Later that night, Ben sat by the fire, thinking over the events of the afternoon. Annie’s reaction to her teacher’s announcement had been about what Ben had expected – a bit tearful, but comforted by John’s assurance that he wasn’t leaving the area. Joe, on the other hand, had had so little reaction to the announcement that Ben had apologized to John before leaving. John had laughed, and had assured Ben that Joe had not insulted him. "After all," said John, "it’s no secret that Joe doesn’t like school." Ben had to allow as that was true. Joe had always done well in school, for the boy knew it would be unacceptable to do less than his best. But he hated sitting in the classroom. No doubt Joe was hoping the schoolmaster would not be replaced soon.

Hoss hadn’t gone to lunch with them after all. Lucinda’s parents had invited him to their house for the afternoon, and Ben didn’t have the heart to say no, as long as his son was home for evening chores. She seemed like a nice girl, and Ben was so pleased to see Hoss happy.

Now Ben was waiting up for Adam, not that he would admit that, just as Adam would not admit that he didn’t mind Ben sitting up. Not having this quiet time would be hard for both of them.

Ben was startled from his reverie by the sound of the door being softly closed. He turned and relaxed.

"What are you going to do when there’s a continent between us, Pa?" Adam grinned as he placed his hat on the table by the door.

"I’ll rely on your grandfather to keep you in line." Ben stood as Adam approached the fireplace. "You only think you’ve been reprimanded."

Ben couldn’t see Adam’s face as the young man warmed his hands by the fire, but were he a gambling man, he would wager that Adam was rolling his eyes. Let him try that with Abel, and he’d learn!

Ben rubbed the back of his neck; glory, but he was tired. Late as it was, he needed to talk to Adam about buying Greene Valley before he spoke with Maggie in the morning. He couldn’t risk Adam finding out from someone else. He took a deep breath as Adam turned toward the bunkroom.

"Adam, I need to tell you something."

Adam settled into his chair, a look of concern crossing his face. "Is something wrong, Pa?"

Ben shook his head. "No, nothing’s wrong. I…" He stopped a minute. "Margaret Greene is selling her ranch and moving back east."

"And you want to buy Greene Valley." Adam leaned back and looked at his father as the older man nodded.

"I’m borrowing some of my brother’s money. Annie already knows, or rather, she knows that I’m thinking about it."

To Ben’s surprise, Adam grinned. "I’ll have to stay then, Pa. You can’t manage the whole thing on your own."

"Absolutely not!" Ben half-rose before he knew what he was doing. He caught himself and sat back down.

"Pa, don’t be ridiculous." Adam cringed slightly at his disrespect. "I mean, you need me."

"Son, do you remember the conversation we had when you first told me of your grandfather’s letter? I told you that I needed you, but not as a ranch hand." Ben stood and faced the fireplace for a minute, watching the flames dancing. He turned to face Adam. "There’s a world of experiences waiting for you Adam, and if you don’t go now, you never will. You’ll find another excuse to stay and someday you’ll be an old man, full of regrets. And you’ll hate me, you’ll hate this ranch, you’ll hate anyone that kept you from your dream."

Adam looked unconvinced, and Ben pointed toward Adam. "Son, if I think for one minute that me buying Margaret’s ranch is keeping you from going to college, I won’t buy it."

"Pa, that’s not fair." Adam was staring at his hands.

"Oh, son, life’s not fair. You know that as well as I." Ben rested an elbow on the mantel. "I know it hurts to leave us, but you need to decide what you want more. I think you know." Ben smiled slightly. "Besides, I’m not going to tolerate shirking, young man. I expect you to come back from that college education ready to help this ranch thrive. We’ll be here, waiting." As Ben spoke, he wondered if Adam would indeed come back to the Ponderosa.

Adam sat for a long minute, his hands resting on the arms of the chair, his body leaning back. Only Ben would recognize that Adam was not relaxed. His legs were rigid, and he was staring into space. There was more on Adam’s mind than Greene Valley. Ben sat down and waited patiently.

"I told Ro that I would stay, and not go to college, if she asked me."

Ben was shocked; he had no idea what to say, but Adam kept speaking.

"She said no. She said if I didn’t go to college, she would never speak to me again."

Ben was relieved. He thought for a minute that Adam would say he was going to remain in Eagle Station. Not that Ben wouldn’t be thrilled to have Adam stay, but only for the right reasons. Ben was determined that Adam think of himself first for once in his life. So, apparently, was Ro.

Adam turned his gaze abruptly to his father. "You know, Pa, I think it’s going to be harder to say good-bye to Ro than it was to say good-bye to Isabella."

"Why is that, son?"

"Isabella expected me to give up college to marry her. It’s not that I didn’t love her, I did, or I thought I did, but I couldn’t say I wouldn’t go to college. Ro won’t let me give up college. She said she loved me too much to allow me to put aside my dream for her."

Ben was surprised his normally reticent son would say so much. "And you love her more for that willingness to let you go, is that right?"

Adam nodded. "When I first started calling on her, I made sure she understood that I was planning to leave. We agreed we’d keep it fun, be more like friends." Adam’s voice choked. "We weren’t supposed to fall in love, Pa."

Ben ducked to hide his smile. "Son, I’ve noticed people tend to fall in love when they least expect to. Love isn’t something you can command."

"I suppose, Pa. But that doesn’t make it easier, does it?" Adam ran his fingers through his hair. "I don’t know. Maybe she’ll still be here when I come back, although I can’t ask her to wait."

Ben shook his head. "No, you can’t. You have to realize, Adam, that when you come back, you won’t be the same man who left here."

Adam sighed. "I know, and she won’t be the same, either. " Adam stood and leaned against the mantel. "You know, Pa, I think part of me is frightened that I won’t like school, or that I won’t do well. Or maybe that I’ll be a disappointment to my grandfather, that he won’t like me."

Ben rose and stood beside Adam. "If there is one thing I know, it’s that your grandfather will love you. He always has." He rested his arm on his son’s shoulder. "Right now you’re about to set out into the unknown, and it’s only natural that you look for reasons to keep you where everything is familiar, and where you know you can succeed. But you’ve done this before. Every journey we’ve taken has been into the unknown, and we’ve become stronger for it."

Adam turned to Ben, looking very much like the wide-eyed four-year-old Ben remembered. "But I’ve never done it alone."

"You won’t be alone, Adam. You’re never alone. You may not see me, or your brothers or your cousin, but we’ll be beside you every step of the way."

Adam nodded slowly. "Thank you, Pa. For everything."

Ben announced his decision to buy Greene Valley at breakfast the next morning. Annie clapped her hands in delight, Joe grinned and Hop Sing merely nodded as he always did when presented with big news. Adam, of course, knew already, and he smiled slightly. Ben was surprised by Hoss’s reaction. His middle son frowned, shook his head and finished his breakfast without saying a word. When the meal was done, he hurried from the table, still not speaking to anyone.

Ben winced as he watched from the window as Hoss crossed the yard. The young man’s shoulders were slumped and he scuffed his boot toe as he walked. Ben had been so wrapped up with the details of buying the ranch that he hadn’t thought how Tess’s leaving might affect Hoss. He turned to the rest of the family.

"Joe, Annie, you’d better get to school. Remember I expect you to come right home today, we’ve a lot of work to accomplish." Ben pulled a note from his pocket. "Annie, please give this to Mr. Taylor. He’ll be expecting it. Adam, I’m going to talk to Hoss for a few minutes, and then you two can go round up strays. I’ve got some paperwork to do this morning, and then I’m going to see Margaret this afternoon."

Ben didn’t wait to see if his instructions were carried out; he knew they would be. Instead, he grabbed his coat and hat and hurried after Hoss. He found his son leaning on the railing of the corral, staring at the new horses. Ben stood beside Hoss and propped his leg on the bottom rail.

"I’m sorry, son. I didn’t think how the news might upset you."

Hoss continued to stare at the horses. "It’s all right, Pa. Besides, I’m not real sure if I’m upset or not. I’m not sure what I’m feelin’."

Ben said nothing. Normally Hoss was the quickest of his sons to share personal thoughts, but he suspected the young man was more hurt than he was admitting, and Ben was afraid that if he said too much, Hoss would hold everything inside.

Hoss sighed. "I wanted her to love me, Pa. I did everything I could to make her love me, but it didn’t work. Sometimes I thought it was workin’, but then she’d go and make eyes at some other fella." Hoss slapped the rails. "Shoot, she even got me fightin’ with Adam over that dumb dance."

Ben remembered that dance, when the women asked the men. Tess had asked Hoss, and then uninvited him when she found that Isabella wasn’t able to go with Adam. Ben had been annoyed with his sons for the fighting, but truth-be-told, he was more angry with Tess. If she had been his daughter, he had no doubt that he would have punished her for her duplicity. Once again he thought that Hoss was well rid of her, although he would never say that to his son.

Hoss turned to his father, and Ben could see the pain in his eyes. "What’s wrong with me, Pa, that Tess didn’t love me?"

Ben reached out to touch Hoss’s arm, unsure what to say, but Hoss shook his father’s hand away and he turned back to the corral. "I’m just big and dumb, Pa, that’s why she don’t love me."

Ben wished Marie were here. She always knew what to say to Hoss when the boy was full of self-pity. Ben didn’t have the patience for it, and he knew it. But Marie wasn’t here, and Hoss didn’t need to hear a lecture from his father.

"Hoss, it’s not your fault that Tess didn’t love you. You are a good man, and someday you’ll meet the right woman." The image of the young woman from church flashed in Ben’s mind. "What about Lucinda? She seemed to enjoy your company."

Hoss pushed himself away from the fence. "Yeah, until she finds someone better." He glowered at Ben. "I’ll go roundin’ up the strays now. That’s somethin’ I can do."

Ben watched Hoss stalk toward the barn. "That went well," he thought as he headed back into the house. He passed his oldest son on the porch; hopefully Adam could get through to Hoss.

Ben sat at his desk and began his letter to Gerhart Levy, his brother’s attorney, asking that Herr Levy begin to liquidate Ed’s investments. Ben carefully explained his reasons, and he also explained that he intended to pay Annie back. While Ben had every right to do as he pleased with the money, he didn’t want Herr Levy to show up demanding an explanation.

Ben finished the letter. He would post it the next morning when he went to town for the council meeting. Now it was time to go to Margaret’s and seal the deal.

As Ben rode toward Greene Valley, his mind drifted back to his first meeting with the Greenes. It was the second summer the Cartwrights had been in the boarding house, and Ben had been working at the trading post. His first impression of Luther Greene had not been favorable. The man had been full of swagger as he sauntered into the store demanding service. But, as Ben got to know the man, he found that he and Luther had much in common, and Ben had genuinely grieved the man’s death.

Ben and Marie had helped Margaret through her grief at Luther’s death, and Margaret in turn helped Ben when Marie was killed. Many people, apparently Margaret included, thought there was a spark of romance between Ben and Margaret. Ben couldn’t deny that she was an attractive woman, but he wasn’t ready to fall in love again. He wasn’t sure he would ever be ready.

Ben shook his head. He had never told anyone how much Margaret had reminded him of Liz. She wasn’t as tall as Liz, of course, but her fair coloring, and the dark hair was so much like Liz’s that Ben had stared when he was first introduced to her. Ben grinned. Margaret’s hair wasn’t as long as Liz’s though. Liz hadn’t cut her hair in years, and the thought of her glorious curls cascading down her back caused Ben to shiver in pleasure. A man could lose himself in that mane, and Ben had, many times.

He shook himself. These were not the thoughts he should be thinking. He needed to collect himself if he hoped to behave in a business-like manner when he met Margaret.

One of the hands took Ben’s horse when he rode into Margaret’s yard. Ben nodded in greeting, and wondered what the young man’s name was. He supposed he’d know it sooner rather than later.

Margaret was waiting on the porch and she waved as Ben stepped closer. "I thought I’d see you today. Come inside."

Ben followed her into the kitchen and took the tray of coffee and cups from her hands. They settled in the parlor and Margaret poured the drinks.

"You’ve made up your mind, Ben?"

He nodded his thanks as he took the small porcelain cup from her hands. "If you still want to sell, I’d like to buy the place."

"I still want to sell." Margaret looked at him resolutely. "It’ll be better for Tess back east. And me."

"I’ll miss you, Margaret."

Margaret appeared flustered. "Yes, well, let’s figure out the terms."

Ben took the hint that she wanted to keep the conversation strictly business. "John Taylor is going to draw up a contract. I’ve written to my brother’s attorney requesting that he be prepared to transfer funds as you direct."

The rest of the discussion went smoothly. Ben listened intently as Margaret showed him the ranch’s books and all her cattle records. She had sold most of her horses the previous fall, but still had a few brood mares and studs. He was surprised to learn that the ranch had several line shacks at the furthest reaches of the boundaries, and that there were a couple of outbuildings that he had never seen. Lastly she mentioned the ranch hands who had stayed on for the winter. She thought that most of them would work for the Cartwrights, and Ben felt a slight relief at knowing he’d have a few veteran vaqueros working for him. Margaret insisted on showing Ben around the house and pointed out things that she intended to take with her, and what she would leave for him. Ben wasn’t sure what to make of that; he hadn’t even thought that the house would be his to live in if he wanted. He’d have to ask the boys and Annie what they thought of the idea, but he found it vaguely unsettling.

Ben politely declined lunch, and after a final handshake, he took his leave. He headed toward home when he suddenly reined in his horse and looked around. He wasn’t heading toward home, he was home. He gazed at the tall trees lining the well-worn road and he let his mind drift back to the previous owners, before the Greenes had bought the property.

Ben had known only two of the Rivera family, but he had heard so many stories that he felt he knew them all. Certainly he had come to regard Carlos almost as a son, and had grieved when the young man had died saving Hoss and Tess. Ben stood in the stirrups as the winds whispered through the tall pines, and he knew that Carlos would be pleased that the Cartwrights now owned the ranch.

Ben settled back into the saddle and turned Buck off the road and toward the lake. As he tied the horse’s reins loosely around a tree, he looked to Marie’s grave. Well, my love, we’ve done it. Moving west, settling here, had been what Marie had wanted. He sat on his heels by his wife’s tombstone. Elizabeth had been the one to plant the dream in his mind. Inger had nurtured it, and Marie had helped bring it within grasp. Now, with the help of their sons, he would realize the dream of all his wives. He glanced at the memorial marker for Eddie and Kathleen and smiled, for it was their dream, too, for themselves and their daughter.

He stood and bowed his head in silent prayer. So much was resting on this one decision, and Ben needed all the help he could muster. He wasn’t sure how he would manage with Adam leaving, but he knew he’d manage somehow. He trusted that God would show him the way.

The next morning, Ben accompanied Annie and Joe to school, so he might confirm details of the ranch purchase with John Taylor. The teacher promised he would send the contract home with Annie that afternoon. Ben thanked him, and started to leave, but John called after him.

"Ben, I’d like to talk to you about Annie and Joe."

Ben scowled. "They’d best not be in trouble again."

John’s laughter echoed in the empty schoolroom. "Why do you always think the worst of them? Or do I only speak of them when they’re in trouble?"

"I’m sorry." Ben shrugged, more than a little embarrassed. "What about Annie and Joe?"

The teacher gestured for Ben to sit on the front bench. "We’ve talked before about Annie, and how she’s really gone beyond the typical school curriculum. To be honest, Ben, I don’t think there’s anything that Ro Johnson can teach Annie. I don’t mean that to insult Ro, but Annie’s education has gone beyond Ro’s education." John settled onto the bench beside Ben. "And we both know that Joe doesn’t enjoy school, but he’s always done well. I don’t know if Ro will be able to teach him much, either."

Ben was confused. "I’m not sure what you’re getting at, John."

The teacher looked sheepish. "I suppose I’m being a bit selfish. Everyone likes to think they’ve done a job to completion, and I suppose I’m no different." He leaned toward Ben. "What I’m trying to suggest is that both Annie and Joe are ready to graduate from this school."

"What would they do then?" Ben was startled. He hadn’t considered this possibility.

"Well," John spoke slowly. "If there were a high school in the area, I would suggest sending Annie to it. But there isn’t. And Joe really will be much happier out of the classroom. If I’m being honest, I’d have to admit that Annie would be, too." John smiled. "She has always had a problem paying attention."

Ben scowled. "I thought she’d gotten past that."

John waved his hand. "We’re digressing. What do you think of Annie and Joe graduating?"

"I don’t know." Ben shook his head. "I hadn’t given it much thought. I guess I figured they’d both be in school for another year or so. This might not be a good time, what with Adam going away. I can’t expect Hop Sing to watch them all day."

"Watch them?" John scoffed. "Ben, they aren’t children. With Adam leaving, you’re going to need all the help you can get."

Ben stood. "I don’t think they’re ready for that, John. But thank you. Let me think on it."

The teacher nodded. "All right, Ben. I’ll send the contract home with Annie."

Ben thought about graduation all the way to the council meeting. He wasn’t sure he was up to having Annie and Joe out of school. The two of them could get into a great deal of mischief and he wouldn’t have the time to deal with them.

When Ben arrived for the council meeting, Eli and Shelby were in deep discussion. Jack Wolfe sat with his chair tilted back, feet propped on the tabletop, sipping a cup of coffee. Only Margaret was standing. She was pacing in front of the window, and stopped as Ben approached her.

"Hello, Margaret."

"Ben." Margaret tipped her head slightly in acknowledgement. "I was afraid you weren’t going to come."

"I’m sorry I’m late." Ben stood near her, and kept his voice low. "John’s going to write the agreement; he’ll send it home with Annie. If you want, we can sign it tomorrow."

She nodded. "I’d like to tell everyone here today." She rubbed her hands on her skirt nervously.

"Hey, you two, no secret dealin’!" Shelby leaned over to look at Margaret and Ben, her cigar halfway to her lips. "Ben, you want some coffee?"

"Did you make it?"

"Nope. Got me a new cook." Shelby grinned. "He’s almost as good as Hop Sing."

Ben laughed. "Then I’ll have a cup. Thank you."

There was little business to discuss at the meeting, and it was quickly concluded. Jack started to stand when Margaret cleared her throat.

"I have something to say." Margaret’s glance darted about the table. "Tess and I have decided to leave Eagle Station and return east, to live with my brother."

Only Ben was silent. Eli and Shelby both spoke at once, and Ben couldn’t discern what they were saying. Jack’s voice boomed over the others.

"I’d like to buy your ranch, Margaret." He grinned wolfishly. "I’ll pay whatever you’re asking."

Margaret looked down briefly before shaking her head. "It’s already sold, Jack."

Jack glared at Ben. "I’ll pay double what Ben’s paying."

"How can you be sure it’s me, Jack?" Ben’s voice took on a steely tone.

"Well, that’s obvious. You and…"

"Don’t say anything you’ll regret." Ben practically spit out the words.

Margaret held up her hand to silence them both. "Thank you, Jack, but Ben and I have already shaken on it. The ranch is sold."

Jack leaned back, annoyance clearly written on his face. "You are makin’ a sentimental error, Margaret."

"That’s your opinion, Jack." Margaret sat straight in her chair and nodded. "Tess and I will be leaving in two weeks’ time."

Ben was shocked. Margaret had said she wouldn’t leave until April. He had no chance to gather his thoughts before Margaret stood. "I am resigning from the council effectively immediately. If you’ll excuse me, I have many things to accomplish." She turned to Ben. "May I speak with you privately?"

Ben shook himself and stood. "Of course." He followed her outside.

She gripped her shawl about her more tightly. "Ben, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt out that we were leaving in two weeks."

Ben started to speak, but she held out her hand to stop him. "I want to ask you something. Tess and I will be joining a wagon train that is going south." She hesitated. "I would feel better if I had a man accompany me."

For a moment, Ben thought she was going to ask him to go with her but she kept talking. "I don’t know how Adam was planning to go east, but I was wondering, do you think I could hire him to drive our wagon? He could then take a boat from Texas to Boston."

Two weeks. She wanted Adam to leave in two weeks. Ben closed his mouth and shook his head slightly. He hesitated. "I don’t know, Maggie. I could ask him." He licked his lips. "It’s just, this is all so sudden."

Margaret smiled sympathetically as she touched his arm. "If you could ask him, I’d appreciate it." She turned and climbed into her buggy.

Ben watched her drive off and turned back to the saloon. Annie and Joe graduating, Adam leaving in two weeks. What would be next? Hoss getting married? Hop Sing running for Margaret’s seat on the council? Ben needed a drink.

An hour and two sarsaparillas later, Ben was heading back to the Ponderosa. Shelby might tease him about his choice of drink, but she was a good person to talk to when he was troubled. The saloon had been empty so she had sat with him and listened as he had confessed all his worries about taking over Greene Valley just as Adam was leaving. She had nodded in understanding until finally she had leaned back in the chair.

"Ya know what your problem is, Ben?" She hadn’t waited for him to answer. "Ya just ain’t likin’ the idea of Adam leaving. But it’s what a man does. You done it, your pa done it. A man’s gotta make his own way in the world." She had sipped her coffee as she had glanced away. "A woman, too, I reckon." She had leaned forward suddenly. "But you know what you’re doin’? You’re lettin’ Adam leave with your blessing. And that’s gonna make a world of difference when he’s done with that fancy education. He’s gonna know that he’s welcome ta come home again. Not all pas’ll do that." Shelby had stopped suddenly, as though worried about revealing too much about herself.

Ben thought about Shelby’s words the whole time he was riding home. She was right, of course. He had left home, at a much earlier age than Adam, and although his father hadn’t been happy to see Ben leave, he had given Ben his blessing and Ben had always known he was welcome to come home. Ben resolved to make sure that Adam left the Ponderosa with that same feeling.

Ben arrived home just in time for lunch. He hurried into the house, pausing long enough to wash his hands. Adam, Hoss, and Hop Sing were already seated at the table.

Ben thought about Margaret’s request for a few minutes as the family ate in silence. "Adam?"

Adam looked up. "Yeah, Pa?"

Ben set his fork on the table. "Mrs. Greene is planning to leave in two weeks and she was wondering if she could hire you to drive her wagon. She’s going south with a wagon train and you could take a ship from Texas to Boston." Ben hurried through his speech.

Adam sat back. "Two weeks? That’s a bit earlier than I planned to leave." He tilted his head slightly. "It makes sense, though, and it would be helping Mrs. Greene." He leaned forward and continued thinking aloud. "And I guess it’s not much earlier than I planned on." He paused a minute. "I think it’s a good idea."

Ben heard Hoss’s sharp intake of breath. He glanced at Hoss, and was puzzled by the look on his son’s face. He had expected Hoss to be upset, but the young man looked angry.

Hoss threw his napkin on the table. "May I be excused? I gotta finish that fencing. I might be late." Without waiting for permission, he stood and left the house. A few minutes later, Ben heard his son ride out of the yard.

Adam stared out the window before turning to his father. "What was that about?"

Ben gazed in the same direction as Adam. "I think he’s not looking forward to you leaving." He smiled sheepishly. "None of us are, but we’re getting used to the idea. We’ll let him work alone for the afternoon, to let him sort things out." Ben turned to his oldest son. "Now, we’d better think about what you’ll need for the trip."

The two men spent the afternoon planning Adam’s trip, and what he would need to do prior to his departure. Hop Sing occasionally interjected a suggestion, and when they were done, Ben had a long list written on the back of an old envelope.

"I’ll go into town tomorrow to see what Eli has available." Ben smirked. "And I think I’ve heard a rumor about a dance in honor of you and the Greenes." Ben couldn’t help but laugh at Adam’s grimace. He knew his son hated to be the focus of attention. Ben glanced out the window. "I think we’d better get started on the chores now."

The two men worked in amiable silence. Ben didn’t know what was running through Adam’s mind, but he was wondering how to break the news of Adam’s imminent departure to Annie and Joe. Considering how Hoss took the news, he wasn’t expecting a favorable reaction.

He was not disappointed. When Annie heard, she burst into tears and ran from the barn. Joe’s reaction was a little less demonstrative. He closed his eyes a minute before looking at Adam. "Oh," was all he said, but his slumped shoulders and dejected manner told Ben that his youngest son wasn’t happy about the news.

Ben left Joe in Adam’s hands, and went in search of Annie. He glanced at the hills as he walked toward the house. He was a little surprised that Hoss wasn’t home yet, but he wasn’t worried. No doubt Hoss was spending some time thinking. When Hoss was upset, it was best to leave him alone to work things out. He would come to his father when he was ready to talk.

When Ben entered the house, Annie was standing by Hop Sing. The young man had his hand on her shoulder, and he was handing her a towel.

"Wash face. Cousin does not want to see sadness. You must think of his happiness, not your sorrow."

Annie took the towel and nodded. She turned to Ben. "I’m sorry, Uncle Ben. It’s just, well, the news took me by surprise."

Ben crossed the room and put his arm around her shoulder. "You knew he’d be leaving."

She rested her head against him for a minute. "I know, but I guess as long as he didn’t say exactly when, I could convince myself it wasn’t going to happen. Is he very upset with me?"

Ben kissed her head lightly. "No. Why not go and talk to him? He’s in the barn with Joe. I’ll help Hop Sing with dinner."

Annie raised an eyebrow and Hop Sing spoke quickly. "May set table only." Ben rolled his eyes. His cooking wasn’t that bad.

Annie giggled, but apparently decided to leave Adam and Joe alone. "I’ll talk to Adam later."

Ben settled onto the sofa to read the latest newspaper. He looked up at every noise from the yard, but there was no sign of Hoss. Adam and Joe came in as Annie was setting the table, and Ben was relieved to see his youngest son smiling and his oldest son relaxed. Ben took one last look out the window before settling down to eat.

The supper conversation revolved around what had happened in school, Adam’s problems with clearing a blocked stream earlier that afternoon, the news that Annie had heard at recess. The family avoided the topic of Adam’s departure. Every time someone came close to mentioning related to the departure, someone else would change the subject. Ben sighed inwardly. He knew the family was going to have trouble coming to grips with Adam’s decision, but he knew they would get through the next few weeks somehow.

Hoss came in as everyone was finishing their meal. "Sorry I’m late. I wanted ta finish the work today." Hoss nodded as he took a warmed plate from Hop Sing. "Thanks."

Hoss ate his supper while Annie and Ben reviewed the household accounts. Annie had taken over the management of the books more than a year earlier. She kept saying that she could do the ranch books as well, but Ben was reluctant to give her that responsibility. Hop Sing was reading, and Joe and Adam were playing checkers.

No one appeared to be much in the mood for chatting, for Hoss went to bed shortly after he was done eating, and Annie and Joe soon followed suit. Ben looked at Adam and Hop Sing, both reading quietly. He excused himself and went outside.

Ben sat on the porch, arms wrapped close to his chest to ward off the evening chill. Glory, but Lizzie had been on his mind a lot of late. He smiled as his mind drifted back to another March, twenty-four years before. They were visiting Aunt May and Uncle John. It was morning, and Liz had insisted on going for a walk on the beach. He could picture everything from that morning – the sounds of the waves crashing and the gulls crying overhead, the sight of a few seals resting on a rock not too far off shore, the blue sky and chill air of late March by the ocean. But most of all he could see Liz, almost as though she were standing in front of him on the porch. She had worn a rose colored dress, its bodice scooped low enough to hint at what lay below; her shawl was wrapped lightly about her. One hand held up her dress as she walked by the water’s edge, allowing Ben full view of her bare feet and ankles. Ben sighed as he remembered the pleasure of that view. They had walked, arm in arm, for several minutes when suddenly she had broken free of his grasp and darted toward a rock. She had called out to him that she had found a bottle that appeared to have a message.

Ben was startled from his memories by the sound of the door opening and closing. He turned; Adam was standing beside him, looking down.

"I’m sorry if I’ve disturbed you, Pa."

Ben smiled and gestured for his son to sit. "Not at all, son. In fact, I was just thinking of your mother."

"Tell me." Adam’s quiet words were not quite a request, but not quite an order, either, and Ben nodded.

"I was remembering a day when we were walking on the beach. I don’t think I had ever seen her look so beautiful, and I remember thinking I was the luckiest man in the world. She found a bottle by a rock, and she insisted it was a message in a bottle." Ben glanced at Adam; the young man was not looking at his father, but was sitting with his eyes half closed, as though picturing the scene in his mind. "She handed me the bottle, and sure enough, there was a note in it. Nothing would do but that I open the bottle and retrieve the note. When I unrolled it, I realized she had written it." Ben looked down, and blinked several times. "She wrote that she loved me, and that she knew that I loved her, and that when we walked on the beach next fall, we would be walking with our son." Ben swallowed. "It was her way of telling me that she was with child. And here you are, all these years later." Ben brushed his hand over his eyes. "I like to think she was walking with you and me, when we took our first walk on that beach."

"What did you think, when she told you she was with child?" Adam still wasn’t looking at Ben, but his tone reminded Ben of when the young man was a small boy, needing assurance that he was loved.

How could Ben explain what he thought at that moment, when he realized he was to be a father? How could he explain the exultation, the unfettered joy? He had fallen to his knees in front of his wife, and rested his head under her breast, straining to hear some sound from the babe within. They had stayed that way for several minutes; Liz’s hands resting on Ben’s head as she pressed him close, Ben, arms wrapped around his wife, weeping for joy.

Ben rested his arm around Adam’s shoulder. "Adam, there’s no feeling like it in the world. I was filled with such happiness and such delight that I can’t even begin to tell you. And so was your mother." He pulled his son close. "She would be so proud of the man you’ve become, just as I am."

Adam looked at Ben, then, his eyes glittering. "Thank you, Pa. You know, I can’t help but think that when I walk that beach this summer, she’ll be walking beside me." Adam rose. "Good-night, Pa."

Ben watched Adam go inside before turning to look into the night. He was sure that Lizzie had never stopped walking beside her son.

Ben sighed as he stood. That was the only time he had ever greeted the news of impending fatherhood without fear tingeing the joy. He had been so young then. He didn’t understand the dangers; he didn’t know he should worry. Shaking himself from his memories, he went to bed.

Ben was finishing his morning coffee when he heard Annie screaming for him. Alarmed by the fear in her voice, he knocked over his chair in his haste to get outside. He flung open the door, took in the scene before him, and slowed his pace long enough to grab the bucket of dishwater sitting on the bench.

He stormed across the yard and tossed the water over his two oldest sons, rolling around in the dirt. When the drenching did nothing to stop the punches, Ben reached down and grabbed Adam by the collar. He tossed his son aside like a child’s toy and reached out to prevent Hoss from charging after Adam.

"What the devil is this about?" Ben made no attempt to quell his fury but his sons didn’t seem to notice his tone.

"He started it!" Adam headed back toward Hoss but Ben’s outstretched arm stopped him.

"Erik?"

Hoss took no heed. He jutted his chin toward Adam. "He knows what he’s done." Ben was barely able to stop Hoss from swinging at Adam.

Ben glanced around and saw Annie and Joe staring, wide-eyed. "Annie, Joe, go inside please." He didn’t watch to see if they obeyed, but turned his attention back to Adam and Hoss.

"In the barn, both of you." He released his grip on Hoss’s arm and his scowl dared his sons to continue the fight. They didn’t, but he could tell by Adam’s stiff back, and Hoss’s shrugging shoulders that it wouldn’t take much for the two young men to start swinging again.

Ben left the large barn doors open but he took care to stand between his two sons. "Erik, did you start this?"

"He knows what he’s done," Erik repeated.

Ben’s eyes narrowed, and his tone was clipped. "I won’t repeat my question, young man, but I suggest you answer it."

Erik must have finally heard Ben’s tone as well as his words, for he glanced at his feet before looking his father in the eye. "He’s goin’ off with Tess."

Ben’s fragile command of his temper let go. "You were fighting over that girl?" He whirled on Adam. "Well?"

Adam held his hands up in protest. "Pa, I was in here, minding my own business, when he came in and started yammering about me going off with Tess, and how that wasn’t fair." Adam shook his head in disgust. "I’m dreading the journey with her and he’s acting like I’m eloping with her."

Ben rubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. At least when he and his brother had fought over a girl, she had loved one of them. Ben ran his hands through his hair as he turned his back to his sons.

"It’s an awful thing when two brothers fight over the love of a woman." He spoke to the air, but he could hear Adam moving behind him.

"You sound like you know, Pa."

Ben turned and nodded. "When I was eleven, I fell in love."

"My mother." Adam whispered.

"Your mother." Ben rubbed his hands on his pant legs. "When I was fifteen, I asked Captain Stoddard if I could court her when we returned to port. He gave his permission, grudgingly, but by the time we returned, my parents had died. Eddie had gone to live with Mrs. Stoddard and Liz until the Wanderer came to port, and during that time, he had fallen in love with her, too."

Ben stepped back and leaned against a stall. Both sons were focused on him, but neither moved. "I didn’t know it, and I started courting her. Eddie was acting a little odd, but I put it down to grief. When the time came to leave, he sailed with us, and everything seemed fine." Ben remembered back. "One day, it suddenly came out; Eddie started raging at me and the next thing I knew, I was swinging at him. It was an awful fight." Ben grimaced. "We had fought as boys, but not like this. We were trying to hurt each other."

Ben glanced at his sons. He was embarrassed about revealing his foolish youth to them, but he prayed they would not make the same mistakes he and Eddie had made.

"The Captain pulled us apart and demanded to know what was going on. Neither of us would answer him. How could we explain that we had been fighting over his daughter?" Ben scuffed the ground. "We didn’t speak much for the rest of the voyage, and when we returned to port, Eddie and John left the Wanderer. John wanted to keep an eye on Ed; he knew what had come between us, and our estrangement saddened him as much as our parents’ death."

Ben closed his eyes as he remembered John’s words to the two brothers. ‘What you are doing,’ he had said, ‘would grieve Father and Mother to no end.’ But both Ben and Ed had been stubborn and would not make up their differences.

"I didn’t see Ed for two years, until just before Liz and I married. He came home and apologized for being a fool, and he told me that he loved his brother too much to allow anything to come between us." Ben’s voice cracked. "I lost two years with him, because both of us were too stubborn to apologize and to forgive. We had so few years together, and I squandered two of them." Ben stared at Hoss. "Is that what you want, son? Adam’s leaving in two weeks, and only God knows when we’ll see him again. Is this truly how you want to leave things with him?"

Ben didn’t wait for Hoss’s answer. Anything that needed to be said, needed to be said between brothers, not to him. He nodded at his two sons, and left the barn.

Ben shooed Annie and Joe off to school, all the while assuring them that Hoss and Adam were not going to fight anymore. He shielded his eyes from the sun as he watched the two youngsters ride toward town. Only when they were out of sight did he head into the house.

Ben’s two sons came into the house about a half hour later. Hop Sing slipped out the back door, leaving the three Cartwrights alone. Both sons stood before their father and Ben had to hide his smile at their posture. They were standing with their hands behind their backs, and neither was able to look him in the eye, although they were trying. He stood in front of them.

"Well?"

Hoss glanced at Adam, and Ben almost laughed aloud. How many times had the two of them stood this way, and how many times had Hoss expected Adam to do the explaining.

Adam cleared his throat. "Pa, we’re sorry about the fight. We, ah, we shook on it."

Ben nodded. "Erik?"

Hoss shifted from one foot to the other. "I’m sorry, too, Pa. You’re right, I don’t want Adam to leave thinkin’ I’m mad at him."

Ben nodded. "All right. I accept your apology. Now, we’ve got a lot of work to do today. Adam, would you hitch the wagon for me? We’ll go into town." He raised his hand to stop Hoss when the young man tried to follow his brother. "I’d like to speak to you, son."

"Adam?" Ben’s question caused Adam to turn in his tracks. "Annie does not need to know the story you just heard." Adam nodded and left the house.

Ben didn’t say anything until Adam left the room, and then he gestured for Hoss to sit on the sofa. He sat next to his son and half-turned to face him.

"Erik, I thought you were enjoying your time with Lucinda." Ben rested his arm on the back of the sofa. "I thought you were no longer courting Tess."

Hoss sat with his hands dangling between his knees. "I thought so, too, Pa. I mean, I really like Lucinda, she’s a real nice gal, and I told Tess I didn’t want to see her anymore, after I found out she was keepin’ company with that other fellow, but…"

Ben waited, but when Hoss didn’t continue, he tapped Hoss’s leg. "But what, son?"

Hoss shrugged. "I don’t know. I think maybe I was just used to havin’ her around, even if I was only second best in her eyes." He glanced at Ben. "Pa, thanks for stopping the fight. And thanks for tellin’ us about Uncle Ed and you." He looked into the fireplace and shrugged again. "You know, I remember him bein’ real happy with Aunt Kate, and I think maybe I got a reason to hope…"

Ben squeezed Hoss’s shoulder gently, sure he knew what his son was trying to say. "Erik, you never need to settle for being considered ‘second best.’ C’mon, let’s go to town."

The days that followed were busy ones. Ben and Hoss spent much of their time working with Margaret’s vaqueros, to begin the process of merging the two ranches. Adam was busy getting ready to go, and Ben gave him the additional responsibility of interviewing men interested in working the Ponderosa, although Ben had the ultimate decision of hiring. Not that there were many men interested in working on a ranch – most men wanted to continue on to California, where they were convinced they would make easy money from the gold lying in the streets. Adam found a few men who were coming east, having failed to get rich in California, but those men were few and far between.

Ben also made sure that Adam spent time alone with each of his brothers and with Annie, to give them all time to say good-bye. Ben himself spent as much time as possible in his son’s company, preparing them both for the long separation.

The days went by quickly, but the nights dragged for Ben. He spent sleepless hours sitting by the fire, staring, wondering what life would be like without Adam.

Only twice Ben had been separated from Adam for a long period of time. First, when Ben had gone to California, and had been stuck at Sutter’s Fort for the winter. The second time was when Adam had gone to California, helping a widow and her young children across the Sierra. The time apart had not totaled a year. One year out of twenty-three…

Ben rubbed his eyes. He had spent more time with Adam than he had spent with any person, alive or dead. More time than any of his wives, more time than either of his brothers. It was not unreasonable to say that Adam knew Ben better than any person did, just as Ben knew Adam better than anyone did, except for possibly Hoss.

Adam knew as much about ranching as Ben did, and often did the work before Ben realized it needed doing. Hoss was a hard worker, to be sure, and not stupid, but he didn’t know how to do all the work Adam did. Adam had taken over the logging operations from Ben; he negotiated with the timber companies, he signed the contracts. Adam enjoyed the bookwork that Ben detested. Ben grimaced. If only Annie were a few years older. And Adam did so well with breaking the horses. Ben grinned ruefully. The last time he had tried to break a horse, he had ached for days and finally allowed that perhaps he was getting a bit too old for such work. A pity Joe wasn’t a little older, although Ben knew that Joe was eager to work the horses.

One night as Ben sat alone, he thought about Margaret. He knew that she had had romantic feelings toward him; although she was not bold enough to speak of them, he knew the look of a woman interested in a man.

He turned his glass in his hand. He was never sure why he had been unable to return those feelings. Certainly she had many of the characteristics he enjoyed in a woman. She was intelligent, strong, independent, spirited and comely. He had convinced himself that he still grieved for Marie, that he wasn’t ready for love. He knew that a part of him was afraid to fall in love again, that he honestly didn’t know if he could survive one more loss.

That night, as he stared into the fireplace, he thought of the first time he had met Margaret. Ben had gotten to know Luther Greene from the man’s visits to Orowitz’s trading post, and Luther had invited the Cartwrights to his home for supper. When he was introduced to Margaret, Ben had stared as though seeing a ghost, although whose ghost it was, he could not tell. Margaret had been the perfect hostess, and Ben and Marie had enjoyed themselves. Ben rolled his eyes. Certainly his two oldest sons had tripped over themselves in talking with their hosts’ daughter, Tess, who at that time was the only unmarried girl between ten and thirty in Eagle Station.

It had taken a few more visits to the Greenes to finally know who Margaret resembled - Liz. Ben smiled. Liz was younger, of course, and not quite as tall, but Margaret’s features were so much like Liz’s. Of course, Ben had mused, Margaret was not very much like Liz in person. Liz was never as deferential to Ben as Margaret seemed to be to Luther, not that Ben would have wished her to be.

Ben shook himself from his memories. He had been so wrong about Margaret then. She was not a deferential help mate to a strong-willed husband, but rather as much an equal as any of Ben’s wives. She had a strength of will that had surprised everyone when Luther was killed and she had become a good friend to all the Cartwrights.

Some nights, Ben wasn’t alone. Adam would keep him company, and the two men would talk about Adam’s trip. Ben couldn’t offer much specific advice, because Adam would be taking a different route, but he listened to Adam’s concerns about the trail, and offered what advice he could. Ben did have suggestions about what Adam should take with him. Adam couldn’t take many possessions, because he was sharing the Greene’s wagon, but at Margaret’s request, Adam and Ben had purchased the supplies the threesome would need. Adam would have enough space in the wagon to bring a small trunk.

"I’ll have to leave my guitar." Adam looked so mournful that Ben almost laughed.

"The minute your grandfather finds out you left yours here, he will buy you a new one." Ben thought a minute. "That’s if he doesn’t still have your mother’s guitar."

Adam smiled. "I’d like that." He gazed into the fire. "I suppose I should leave most of my books at home. It’s not like I’ll have a lot of time to read them anyway, what with college."

"And it’s not like there’s not a bookstore on every corner in Boston." Ben grinned. "Your mother and I spent a lot of time in those stores. And quite a bit of money."

"That’s something I won’t have much of. I can’t expect Grandfather to buy me all the books I want. He’s doing so much already."

Ben looked at his son. "Your grandfather is going to want to shower you with gifts. He’s going to feel like he has twenty-three years to make up for."

"He’s always sent me presents." Adam crossed one leg over the other and rested his mug on his knee.

"I know. But nothing like he would have given you had we stayed in Boston." Ben smiled as he remembered his captain’s generosity to Ben and his brothers. "Let him do that, Adam. It will mean a great deal to him."

Adam shrugged and Ben knew that Abel would have a fight on his hands. But, he also knew who would win. Abel Stoddard was as stubborn as Ben, and if he wanted to spoil Adam, Adam would be spoiled. Truth-be-told, Adam deserved a little spoiling.

"Well, I’ll want to take my clothes," Adam protested.

"Not too many. Enough for the trip, but when you get to Boston, you’ll want to dress fashionably. You can’t wear these clothes walking about town." Ben gestured toward his son’s rough pants and work shirt.

"Pa, these are fine." Adam shook his head vehemently and Ben hid his smile.

"If you think your grandfather is going to let you dress like that in Boston, you are sadly mistaken. Unless he’s changed considerably, Abel is very concerned with a man’s wardrobe." That was something Ben learned the hard way, not that he was going to tell Adam that. "I think you’ll fit everything you need in that trunk of yours." Ben glanced up as the clock chimed. "But you can start packing in the morning. Now it’s time for bed."

Finally it was the Saturday before Adam and the Greenes were scheduled to leave. Eli, Ruth and Shelby had organized a large farewell dance and Hop Sing and Annie spent several days preparing food for the party. Ben was relieved that Annie had the work to keep her occupied. She was becoming weepy every time she looked at Adam.

Adam headed to town alone. He was escorting Ro to the dance, and he wanted to get to her house a little early. The rest of the family, including Hop Sing, rode in the wagon. They were among the first guests to arrive, and they all helped decorate the hall. Every person within two hours distance was invited to the dance, and soon the hall was crowded. Ben had decided not to join the musicians this time, preferring to enjoy himself.

He greeted all the guests as they arrived. Annie was by his side until the Devlins arrived, but she was surprised when they appeared without Mitch, or his younger sister. She frowned as she listened to George Devlin’s explanation that Mitch and Sarah had been fighting, and so would not be attending the dance. When Annie looked like she was going to say something to George, Ben took her aside and informed her in no uncertain terms that she had better not sulk during the dance. She blushed and nodded before going to help Ruth at the food table.

Finally most of the guests arrived and Ben began to mingle, making sure that everyone was enjoying himself. He had just served a fresh cup of punch to a new settler when a stranger approached him.

"Cartwright?" The man looked at him with narrowed eyes and Ben had the impression he was being looked up and down.

"That’s right, Ben Cartwright." Ben took the proffered hand, and was impressed by the man’s strong grip.

"Zadoc Long." The man jerked his chin to where Hoss was standing with his young lady. "Lucinda’s father."

Ben smiled in recognition. "Mr. Long, it’s a pleasure to meet you."

"Zad, please, Ben, if I may call you that." Zad rested his hands on his hips. "I like to know the family of the young man courtin’ my girl. I, uh, I asked around and I only hear good things about you and yours."

Ben nodded. He could understand the man’s protectiveness, and he said as much. "You may be sure Hoss knows how to behave himself around a young lady" Ben paused. "If he doesn’t, he knows he has me to answer to."

"Fair enough." The men turned to watch the young couple dance. "I like your son, Ben. He treats my girl like she’s a princess." Zad ducked his head as he grinned. "Of course, I think she is, but what father doesn’t think that about his girl."

Ben looked to where Annie was dancing with George Devlin and smiled. "I know what you mean."

As Zad excused himself, Ben’s gaze traveled about the room. Adam was dancing with Ro, although the two of them looked rather sad. Hoss’s grin, on the other hand, proclaimed his delight at dancing with Lucinda. Joe was a little harder to find, and Ben was surprised to see his son with a couple of girls hanging on his every word. He frowned. Joe seemed very pleased to find himself at the center of attention and Ben decided that that would bear watching in the future.

Ben noticed Margaret standing in the corner, talking with John and Lia Taylor. Suddenly Ben realized he had not yet danced with Margaret. As the musicians struck a waltz, Ben crossed the room and bowed slightly. Margaret smiled and took his hand, and the two twirled onto the floor.

"You’re smiling." Margaret looked up at Ben’s face, her own smiling widening.

"I was thinking of the first time I saw you dancing a waltz. It was your Christmas party, and you danced it with Luther."

She smiled shyly. "Luther loved to waltz." She laughed suddenly. "I think it was because he loved to shock people."

Ben laughed at that. Certainly when he had married Liz, no one would have danced a waltz. Even Inger would never have danced a waltz in public, although she and Ben had waltzed privately more than once, to music of their own making. "Marie loved to waltz, too. When she saw Luther and you dance that night, she was so pleased. She was afraid that she’d never be able to waltz in public again once we left New Orleans."

Margaret smiled. "Well, with you as a partner, I can understand why she loved the dance."

The two of them danced several times that evening. Margaret had no shortage of partners; every man in town wanted to dance with her, or with Tess. Ben danced a few dances with Annie, and even one with Ro and with Lucinda, but he was content to watch others dance. He noticed with pleasure that Adam danced with many of the women in the room. It seemed that most of the women wanted to dance with Adam at least once, and although none of them were forward enough to ask him outright, several of them were bold enough to drop broad hints. Ben had to turn away to hide his laughter when Adam danced with Abigail Jones. He was proud of his son’s ability to be polite when he knew the young man detested Miss Jones.

Finally it was time to go. Ruth, Shelby and Lia refused all offers of assistance by the Cartwrights, urging them to go home and get some rest. Ben watched Adam thank the three women effusively before he added his own thanks for a lovely evening. Adam escorted Ro home; Ben and the rest of the family went home in the wagon. Ben half carried a sleeping Annie into her room while Joe and Hoss helped Hop Sing empty the wagon.

Once the rest of the family was in bed, Ben sat up, intending to wait for Adam. His long days and sleepless nights were catching up with him, though, and he dozed in front of the fireplace, only waking when Adam opened the door. One glance at his oldest son showed that Adam didn’t want to talk, so Ben bade him good night.

Sunday morning, Adam’s last full day at home, dawned bright and clear. Ben watched his sons complete their morning chores without their usual banter, and he determined he needed to do something to dispel the funereal mood that was threatening the day. At breakfast, he suggested the family go for a ride after lunch, and Adam quickly allowed as he would like to go to the lake one last time.

Church services were mercifully short. The minister chose the prodigal son as the lesson for the day, and Ben wasn’t too sure what he thought about that. After all, Adam was not going off to squander his father’s wealth in wild living. But Ben chose to take comfort in the prodigal son’s return and he looked forward to the day that he, too, would celebrate Adam’s safe homecoming.

At the end of the service, the Cartwrights stepped from the small church and Adam was thronged by people wanting to wish him well. Ben stood by his son’s side as the rest of the family moved away.

Suddenly Annie’s shrill voice caught his ear, and he turned, frowning. Annie was glowering at Mitch, and Ben could hear her berate the young man.

"If you can’t behave yourself long enough to come to a dance with me, well, then I don’t give a snap for you!" Annie reached out and snapped her fingers in Mitch’s face.

Ben’s jaw ground to the left and he crossed the small yard in a few steps. He grabbed Annie’s arm and turned her to face him.

"That is not how a lady behaves in public, especially after a church service. And I will not allow you to spoil Adam’s last day." Ben kept his voice low so that only Annie and Mitch could hear him. He pointed to the wagon. "Go wait for me there."

Annie gave one Mitch one last glare and then flounced to the wagon. Ben didn’t know if he was amused or angry. He turned to Mitch, eyebrow raised.

"I was trying to apologize, Mr. Cartwright, for missing the dance last night." The look on Mitch’s face took Ben back more than twenty years, and he understood Mitch’s frustration.

"I know, Mitch." Ben sighed. "All I can tell you is to try your apology again later."

Mitch nodded. "Would it be all right if I came by the house this afternoon?"

Ben shook his head. "Any other time, I would say yes, Mitch, but because this is Adam’s last day home, we’re keeping it a family day." Ben rested his arm around Mitch’s shoulder. "But you might want to come by tomorrow. I think Annie will need someone to cheer her up."

Mitch stood straighter and grinned. "I’ll do that, sir. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to say good-bye to Adam now." Ben slapped Mitch on the back and watched the young man hurry across the churchyard.

Glory, but Annie had a temper like Liz’s. Ben recalled many times when the slightest misstep on his part set off days of clipped tones and cold shoulders. Adam had that temper as well, although he learned at a young age to forgo the petulant attitude, at least when Ben was involved.

Ben walked to the wagon. Annie was standing beside it, her back to the crowd, her head hanging down. Ben stood beside her, half-turned to face her, and leaned a hand on the wagon’s side.

"What was that about, young lady?"

Annie shrugged. "He was trying to make up for missing the dance last night." She glanced over at her uncle before wrapping her arms around her waist. "I told him he shouldn’t have gotten into trouble, that I was angry because he wasn’t at the dance."

Ben smiled slightly. "I do believe you’ve missed at least one dance because you got into trouble, Anna."

Annie smiled ruefully. "That’s what Mitch said, too." She finally faced Ben. "I’m sorry, Uncle Ben."

"Apology accepted, but I don’t want to see a repeat of that behavior." Ben glanced around. "Into the wagon with you. I’m going to rescue Adam from Miss Jones."

Annie’s giggles filled Ben’s ears as he hurried to Adam’s side. He tipped his hat at the young woman simpering at Adam. "Miss Jones, I hate to pull Adam away, but we need to be getting home. Hop Sing is preparing a special meal, and he gets so cross if we’re late."

Ben’s lips twitched as he watched Adam nod to Abigail Jones. Only a member of Adam’s family would have known how annoyed Adam was as he shook Miss Jones’s hand and thanked her for her promises to write.

As soon as they were out of earshot Adam leaned close to his father. "If you give her my address, Pa, I will never come back to Eagle Station."

Ben laughed as he waved to Joe and to Hoss to let them know it was time to go. He looked around the yard once more. "I’m surprised Ro isn’t here."

Adam shook his head sadly. "She said she wouldn’t be." He looked away from his father. "We said our good-byes last night."

Ben nodded, knowing that Adam wouldn’t welcome any further comments or questions on the subject. "Well, we’d best hurry. I have a feeling Hop Sing is preparing a feast for you.

Ben was right. Hop Sing had spent the morning preparing all of Adam’s favorite foods, and the family could barely move after eating the meal. Finally Adam pushed away from the table.

"I’ll get the horses saddled. C’mon, Hoss, Joe, I could use your help."

The family rode slowly. Ben, for his part, was enjoying the sights and sounds of birds flitting about the meadows. As they approached the last hill before the lake, though, Ben could see Adam give Hoss a nod, and he knew what to expect. Sure enough, his two oldest sons were off in a flash, quickly followed by Annie and Joe. Ben shrugged as he urged Buck into a trot. He reached the lake almost a full minute after Joe, did, and he was just in time to see Joe land the obligatory winner’s punches on his brothers’ arms.

The five Cartwrights walked along the edge of the lake, talking, skipping rocks and occasionally chasing each other like children. Finally, however, Annie decided she needed a rest and sat down. Her cousins quickly followed.

Ben looked at the four of them, sitting on a blanket, leaning against a log. The air was cold, and Annie had placed herself between Adam and Hoss to stay warm. Joe was leaning against Hoss with his legs pulled tight against his chest. Ben grinned as he spread another blanket across the four of them. Normally they wouldn’t stay by the lake this long, but Adam had insisted, as it would be the last time he’d see it for a long time. Ben tried not to think about that; like the rest of the family, he was determined to make Adam’s last day at home a cheerful one.

"Hey, Adam." Hoss leaned forward slightly. "Ya reckon the sky’s like this in Boston?"

Adam shrugged. "I don’t know. I was only two when we left. Pa?"

Ben looked around and nodded. "Yes." Then he hesitated. "Well, the sky in Boston is more hazy. If you go to the Cape, Adam, you’ll see the same azure we see here. But the ocean will look very different from the lake. It’s grayer than this."

A coyote’s howl split the air. It sounded close, and Ben tensed, but the next howl a few minutes later showed that the animal was moving away from them.

Annie laughed softly and all eyes turned to her. She looked around. "Oh, I was just thinking about those trees we saw on the way out. I was glad that Hoss wasn’t surrounded by them when he named the ranch."

Joe’s laughter echoed around the lake. "Yeah, the Piñon doesn’t sound very grand at all, does it?"

"Sounds more like a saloon if you ask me." Adam refused to be cowed by Ben’s raised eyebrow. "You know, full of card sharps." He winked at Joe.

Ben pushed himself away from the tree he had been leaning against. "Come on, we’d best get home. It’s getting cold." He reached down to help Annie rise.

Adam brushed off his pants and looked at his father. He jerked his head slightly toward Marie’s grave. "I’ll be along in a minute, Pa."

Ben nodded and watched his son walk toward the grave and kneel, hat in hand. Ben turned to the other three. "C’mon, let’s get ready to ride."

Late that night, Ben and Adam sat silently in front of the fire for the last time. Ben was lost in the memories of a small boy who became the man he now saw sitting across from him. Finally he stirred.

"Adam, I need you to do me a favor when you get to Boston."

Adam sat up straighter. "Sure, Pa. Anything."

Ben stood and poked at the fire. "I’d like you to visit your mother and bring her some flowers from me. It’ll be June or maybe July when you get there. If the peonies are still in bloom, bring those. Or maybe daisies. She liked daisies, she said they were cheerful."

"I was going to visit her first thing, Pa." Adam’s voice was husky.

Ben took a deep breath, trying to contain his own emotions. "She’d be very proud of you, you know."

Adam stood beside his father. "You keep telling me that, Pa." He reached out to rest his hand on Ben’s shoulder. "You know, I think she’d be awfully proud of you, too. I know I am."

Ben reached out to pull his son into his embrace, and was gratified to feel Adam’s arms wrap around him. "I’m going to miss you, boy."

Adam nodded against Ben’s shoulder. "I’m going to miss you, too, Pa."

Neither man moved for a long while until finally Ben stood back. "We’ve got an early morning, I think we’d better get to our beds."

The sun was peeking over the hill as the family gathered by the wagon. A horse was tied to the back. Adam had chosen to not take Beauty, for he was going to sell this horse in Texas before he sailed for Boston.

Adam paused as he placed his carpetbags in the back of the wagon. Finally he squared his shoulders and turned to look at his brothers and his cousin. Ben climbed onto the wagon seat and watched his children say good-bye.

Hop Sing stepped up first, and showed Adam a large basket before placing it in the wagon. "Food for trip." The young Chinese man bobbed his head. "Good luck."

Adam held out his hand, and Hop Sing shook it. "I’ll miss your cooking, Hop Sing." He hesitated. "And your wisdom. Thank you."

Hop Sing bowed slightly and stood aside. Hoss was next.

"We said our good-byes already, brother." Hoss stood stiffly, but then drew Adam into a bear hug. The two brothers were still for a moment, but finally pulled apart.

"It’s your turn to be the big brother for a while, Hoss. Take care of them." He looked over at Annie and Joe as he slapped Hoss lightly on the back.

"I will. You take care of yourself." Hoss stood back and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Adam turned to Joe and reached out to ruffle his brother’s hair. Joe didn’t duck. "I think you’ll be too tall to do that next time I see you, Little Joe."

"I’m too tall now," but Joe’s tone was more amused than annoyed. "Have a good time in Boston. Don’t study too hard."

Ben smiled as Adam laughed. "I’m going to study as hard as I need to!" Adam grew serious. "Stay out of trouble, Joe. And remember what I told you." Adam pointed to the sky and Joe nodded.

"I won’t forget." The young man’s voice cracked slightly. "I won’t forget anything you told me, Adam."

Adam put his arms around Joe and drew him close. "I know you won’t, brother. And thanks for taking care of Beauty for me."

Annie stood by Joe, surreptitiously wiping tears from her eyes. Adam saw her and shook his head. "Don’t cry, Annie. Please don’t cry." Adam sounded perilously close to tears himself.

"I’m trying, Adam." She sniffed loudly. "I’m going to miss you, Adam."

He tugged at her braid. "I’ll miss you too. But I’ll write."

Annie flung herself into Adam’s arms. "Write and tell me everything!" She hugged him close as he promised he’d write. Finally she let him go, and smoothing down her skirts, she stepped back so Adam could climb onto the wagon seat. Ben could hear her choke back a sob, and prayed that she wouldn’t break down. That would be the undoing of them all. Hoss stepped behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

Adam looked at everyone a minute and then turned to Ben. "I’m ready, Pa."

Ben nodded, and with a flick of his wrists, he urged the horses on. Adam waved briefly before turning to face forward. He sat stiff, his hands folded on his lap.

Ben and Adam rode in silence for a few minutes. Ben could see that his son was struggling with the emotions of leaving home, and he would not intrude on Adam’s thoughts. Finally, though, Adam turned to his father.

"That was harder than I thought," Adam said softly.

Ben nodded. "I remember." And he did, like it was yesterday. Mother and Ed had said good-bye at the house, while Father had walked to the docks with John and Ben. Ben had struggled to not cry, and he didn’t, not until late the first night, after the Captain had gone to sleep and the only noises Ben could hear were the creaking of the ship and the gentle slapping of water on the hull.

Ben decided it was time to lighten the mood. "Adam, promise me something?" He glanced at his son and Adam nodded. "Promise me you’ll do things you can’t write to your cousin about."

Adam did a double take, and Ben grinned. "Son, I’m not suggesting you forget how you were raised. But for the first time ever, you’re responsible only for yourself." Ben shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the guilt he felt for Adam’s childhood surged forward. But that was past, and it would do neither man any good to revisit it.

Ben shook his head and tried to restore the levity to the conversation. "But I should warn you. You only think you’ve been lectured. I am sending you to a master. The only person who could deliver a fiercer lecture than Abel Stoddard was his wife. Abel understands that a young man needs to enjoy himself from time to time, but step one toe over his line, and he will haul you up and hang you to dry." Ben grinned at his memories. "And his lectures are worse if you’ve been over-indulging in alcohol. He intentionally makes them louder."

Adam’s laughter was so quiet that Ben almost didn’t hear it. "Now you’re going to finally tell me the stories of your misspent youth, Pa?"

Ben chuckled. "I didn’t mis-spend one minute of my youth, Adam. Besides, you’ve heard plenty of stories. And, I have no doubt that your grandfather will have plenty more to tell you."

"I’m counting on it, Pa. And I’m under strict orders to write them down and send them back to Annie, Hoss and Joe." Adam chuckled as Ben groaned.

They spent the rest of the journey to Greene Valley talking about Boston, and the sites Adam might see. Ben reminded his son to visit the Cape, and to give Ben’s regards to cousin Charlie.

Margaret and Tess were already by the wagon when Ben and Adam drove into the yard. No one said much as Adam transferred his bags from Ben’s wagon into Margaret’s. When he stepped away from Margaret’s wagon, she nodded.

"Well, I guess we’re all set then." She stepped toward Ben, her hand outstretched. "Here are the keys to the house. I’ve left all the ranch books on the desk."

Ben took the keys and stared at them for a minute. "Thank you." He stepped forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Good luck, Margaret. Let me know when you reach your brother’s."

She nodded. "I will, Ben. Good luck to you." She moved toward the front of the wagon and Adam helped her up.

Ben turned to Tess and kissed her as well. "Good-bye, Tess."

The young woman’s eyes were red and brimming with tears. "Good-bye, Mr. Cartwright." Ben helped her onto the wagon seat as Adam untied the horse from Ben’s wagon.

Ben stood by Adam’s side. "Well, good luck son."

Adam scuffed the dirt as he looked at his boots. When he looked at his father, his grin split his face, and Ben was reminded of the excited boy beginning an adventure. Ben pulled Adam into a final embrace. "God keep you, Adam."

"And you, Pa." Adam nodded, turned, and swung himself into the saddle. Margaret picked up the reins and urged the horses on.

Ben watched until they were no longer in view. So intent was he on their leaving that he was startled by a voice at his side. Tomas, one of Margaret’s vaqueros, was standing at his side.

"Señor Cartwright? We will manage things today. There will be time for you and I to talk tomorrow."

"Thank you, Tomas. I’ll be by tomorrow morning." Ben climbed onto the seat, and with another nod to Tomas, turned his empty wagon toward home.