Joaquin – The Missing Scene

By Vicki C.

The scene follows the search of the Ponderosa by the vigilantes and fits in before the family sits down to supper. I always wondered why Adam is so subdued at supper, while Hoss looks faintly superior. Ben does not look at Adam and he in turn casts almost surreptitious glances at his father. There is an obvious atmosphere, which is broken by the arrival of Eli to tell them that Harry Stevens place has been torched.

I knew from the moment Joe uttered ‘Ut oh,’ those words always mean that one of us is about to be in trouble. Pa’s expression as he came upon us said it all. He didn’t approve and more than that he intended that I should know just how much he disapproved. The worst thing about Pa isn’t what he says so much as what he doesn’t say. When Joaquin went inside, Pa just looked at me. Without saying a word Pa managed to convey to me his displeasure at what I had been doing and to instill a fair measure of guilt because I wasn’t in the barn doing my chores.

I had no sooner rectified the second error when Pa appeared in the doorway blocking out the light. He had just begun what I guessed would be a stiff and long lecture when Joe called out and we both left the barn to face a vigilante posse led by Harry Stevens. But I knew that when Pa said ‘we weren’t finished’ he meant just that. Pa still had more to say on the subject of guns and in particular on my refusal to listen to him.

The vigilantes didn’t find Joaquin and I guessed that he had left in a hurry. I would have gone after him if he hadn’t taken my horse to make good his escape. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and as Joe was in the barn I made my escape and headed for the woodpile, maybe splitting logs would cool my temper. I should have known Pa wouldn’t wait long before continuing our conversation. I had hardly put the ax through the first log when he appeared and motioned me to put the ax down. I complied and faced him with a look of defiance. I was through being treated like a child.

"Now do you see how guns can be used. If he had been found they would have killed him or he them. It’s revenge they are seeking, not justice." Pa’s voice had a hard edge as if he had seen this particular sort of justice at work. "Joaquin wants revenge on all Americans, Harry Stevens and his like want to destroy all Mexicans, it has nothing to do with justice and everything to do with hate."

"You’re saying I would act like that if I had a pistol?" I asked, angrily. My voice shook at the implication.

Pa kept his temper but I’m sure it was with difficulty. His words came out in a tight controlled way "I’m saying it’s easy to be led by your friends. Look at Frenchy, you wouldn’t consider him a violent man but he was with them. That makes him as guilty as they are for what is done. A man has to be responsible for his actions and to be sure that what he is doing is right even if it means going against his friends. "

If I had been cool-headed I would have seen what Pa was trying to show me, but my pride and my temper won out.

"I’m not dumb. I can make my own decisions." I shot back.

"No, you’re not dumb but you are stubborn." He held up a hand to stop my protests. "You are too angry to listen and that anger makes you unable to make any decisions based on fact. You aren’t prepared to even listen to the facts. It’s just such emotions that make it inappropriate for you to carry a pistol. You lack experience…"

"You’re saying I’m a still a kid, that I’m immature?" My voice rose and I almost moved toward him.

Pa inclined his head a little and then drew in a breath, "If that’s the way you want to put it, then yes, I am. While you cannot control your temper you are still a child."

"I’ll show you that I’m a man." I almost screamed at him.

He grabbed my arm and his temper hit me full force, his voice low and powerful. "You will show me nothing. You will listen to me and you will obey me. When you have cooled off we will talk but not before."

I didn’t answer and his grip tightened. "Do you understand me?"

I never could meet his eyes when he was this angry and as well as anger I could see something else in his expression, disappointment. He was disappointed in me and that undid my temper and left a sore residue of hurt.

"Yes, sir." I almost whispered.

He released me and after watching me for a moment, moved off toward the house. I took my temper out on the woodpile and by the time I went in for supper I was calmer and hoping for some sort of reconciliation with Pa. I still believed in Joaquin and his fight for justice. I still believed I was man enough to handle a pistol and I wasn’t about to apologise but I wanted things to be right between Pa and me.

Hoss must have heard some of what Pa said because he had a faintly superior ‘I told you so’ expression on his face. We sat down in silence and the meal continued in the same way. Every so often I glanced at Pa but he avoided looking directly at me. I knew what I ought to do but I wasn’t ready yet. It was going to take another tragedy before I would understand what Pa meant about hate and revenge.

Adam finally gets the message after Harry Stevens is murdered in cold blood by Joaquin, leaving a widow and children homeless. To his credit he faces down Joaquin unarmed and calmly asks if the bandit intends to kill him too. The final scene is once again around the table where Hop Sing quotes some obscure Confucian saying (aren’t they all) about a man being punished by his anger.