Adam awoke early the next morning, arising before any other members
of his family. He quietly got dressed and crept out of the bedroom he
shared with his brothers. He sat down in a nearby chair and pulled
his boots on. Standing up, he picked up a piece of bread that had
been covered up from the night before and ate it as he walked out the
front door. Adam had decided that he should get a head start on his
chores in an effort to demonstrate to his pa that he could do what he
set his mind to. After his chores were complete, he would head into
Eagle Station and talk to Shelby. He had promised her that he would
give her an answer as soon as he could. If there was one thing that
could be said about Adam Cartwright, it was that he was a man of his
word.

As he began to move the horses out into the corral, he noticed that
his Pa’s horse was missing. It was very unusual for his pa to be
gone this early but Adam decided that he may have gone on a ride to
clear his mind. Things had become rather tense between them last
night and Adam had to admit that he had entertained the thought of taking a
long ride himself. He turned his attention back to the task of cleaning the
stalls. It was not his favorite thing to do, but he and his brothers
would take turns with this particular chore and this week was
Adam’s turn. Not wasting time, he finished cleaning the stalls
and placed the horses back in them. He looked to the east as he
noticed the sun coming up over the mountains. The beauty of this
sight was something that Adam never tired of.

As he entered back into the house, he was greeted by his younger
brothers, Hoss and Little Joe. Always being the one in good spirits
in the mornings, Hoss spoke up first. "Mornin’ Adam. Ya up
early, ain’t ya?"

"Yeah, I wanted to get a head start on the day," Adam
replied.

"Before breakfast?" Hoss asked incredulously. Hoss rarely did
anything before he ate breakfast. He would always tell his brothers
that it was the most important meal of the day.

Adam shrugged. "I figured I’d get those stalls cleaned
out." The three brothers watched Hop Sing enter the room as he
scurried about setting the table for the family. Adam noticed that he
had set only three places. "Hop Sing? You’re short a
plate."

Hop Sing looked up at Adam but didn’t say anything to the eldest
son. Adam returned the cook’s gaze, his expression one of
confusion. "Hop Sing? Is everything all right?"

"Father go to town early this morning. Not be home before
lunch. Sons must sit and eat." Hop Sing finished setting the
food on the table, leaving the three Cartwright boys to themselves.

Joe and Hoss sat down at the table and began passing the biscuits.
Little Joe watched his brother as he took the biscuits from
Hoss. "Adam, ain’t ya gonna eat?"

Expecting his oldest brother to correct him for his grammatical
error, he was surprised when Adam didn’t say anything to him.
Instead, Adam excused himself and followed Hop Sing outside where he
was gathering some wood. "Hop Sing? Is there something you’re
not telling me? You act like somethin’s botherin’ you."

Hop Sing dropped the wood that he was holding in his arm and shook
his finger at Adam. "You go to work for Shelby. You make your
father very mad; you make Hop Sing very mad!"

"I’ve made you mad? Why?"

"Stay away from her! That woman nothing but trouble!" Adam sighed as the cook continued to rant about why he did not approve of the oldest son’s future employer.

"Look Hop Sing. I’m sorry you don’t approve of my
decision, but I’ve already made up my mind. Now, you said that Pa
rode into town. Did he say what he was goin’ for?"

"Father say he go talk sense into Shelby since eldest son has
none." Hop Sing picked up the wood he had dropped and went back
into the house.

Adam bristled when he was told that his pa had gone into town just to
talk to Shelby. He ran to the barn and quickly saddled Beauty. He
mounted his horse and took off at a hard gallop towards town. Joe and
Hoss jumped up from the table at the sound of Adam’s horse as he
rode past the house. "Hey Adam," Joe yelled. "Where ya
goin’?"

Whether his brother heard him or not, Little Joe did not know. He
looked at Hoss and shrugged his shoulders. "Wherever he’s
goin’, he sure is in a hurry."

"Yeah," Hoss agreed. "Guess he won’t be needin’ his breakfast." Hoss
went back and filled his plate again as Little Joe stared down the
road until his oldest brother was out of sight.



Ben Cartwright arrived in Eagle Station as the town was beginning to
come to life. The person whom he wanted to talk to was entering her
saloon. Ben tethered his horse and followed her inside.
"Shelby?"

"I’m not open yet," she replied as she turned to see who
called out her name. "Ben? What’re you doin’ in town so
early?"

"I wanted to talk to you, Shelby."

"Let me guess. It’s about me offerin’ Adam a job,
ain’t it?"

Ben nodded as he removed his hat. "Yes it is. I’m still not
sure as to why you offered him a job. I mean, no disrespect intended
Shelby, this is not the kind of place that Adam often frequents."

"I need help keepin’ my books and doin’ inventory. I know
that Adam is good at that stuff—I mean he does it for the
Ponderosa. It’ll only be at night time."

"Shelby, I just don’t think that it’s a good idea for
Adam to work here. Surely there’s someone else who could do
it."

"Sure there is, but I don’t trust any of them. Adam’s one
of the most honest people I know. I guess he got that from his
pa." Ben knew that he had drilled into all his boys the
importance of honesty and a sense of integrity, but even more so with Adam.

"That’s nice of you to say Shelby, but…"

"But, you don’t want your son workin’ in a saloon? You
think it ain’t an honorable profession? He ain’t gonna work
here all his life, Ben. He wants to go to college." Shelby had
talked with Adam several times about his dreams and ambitions of
attending a college.

"I know he does Shelby and I want him to go. However, I need him on the
ranch right now. We’re finally starting to do a little more than
break even and I need his help."

"He told me that he would still help you in the day and work for
me at night. Ben, is it the fact that your son is workin’ in the
saloon or the fact that he’s workin’ for someone like
me?"

"Shelby, it’s nothing personal. I just think I know
what’s best for Adam. Sometimes, he can be quite stubborn and he
refuses to listen to reason." The last thing Ben had wanted was
for Shelby to believe that he held anything against her.

"Well Ben, I hate to tell ya this, but the apple didn’t fall
far from the tree." Shelby walked behind the bar and poured
herself a drink.

Ben and Shelby’s attention was drawn to the door as Adam barreled
through them. His gaze was hardened as he eyed his pa standing before
him. "Pa? You’re in town early."

"I had some things to take care of," Ben replied, trying to
maintain his calm demeanor. He did not cherish the thought of getting
into another argument with Adam this early in the morning..

"I see. So, were you trying to get Shelby to change her mind
about hiring me?"

Ben winced at his son’s ability to get directly to the point.
"Adam…yes, I was." There was no use in lying to the
boy—no, the young man; he would not be guilty of imposing a double standard.

"I thought we finished this discussion last night. You said I
could come to work for Shelby. Now you’re tryin’ to get her to
not hire me? Why Pa?"

Ben sighed as he put his hand on Adam’s shoulder. "I just
don’t think this is the kind of place you should be
frequenting."

"Are you afraid that I’ll embarrass you by working here? Pa,
I’m not going to be doin’ anything but keeping books and some
odd and end jobs around here. I’ve made up my mind, Pa. I’ve
already had one lecture from Hop Sing this morning, and I really
don’t want to hear another one from you. You can either respect my decision
or not, but I’m not changing my mind. I promised you that this
would not interfere with my responsibilities on the ranch and it won’t.
I don’t know what more you want me to say."

Ben could tell by the seriousness etched in his son’s face that
he was determined to go through with this. "All right," he
conceded. "But, before you come to work tonight, that section of
fence in the north pasture needs mending so we can turn the herd
out."

Adam nodded, convinced that he had made his point once again to his
father. "Shelby, I’ll see you tonight."

"See ya, Adam." Shelby watched the young man leave. She had
developed quite a bit of respect for Adam Cartwright since he and his
family settled here and began to build the Ponderosa. She was truly
thankful that Adam had agreed to help her out at the saloon. She
turned back to Ben, "I’ll take care of him, Ben."

"I’m sure you will but that isn’t your job." He left the
saloon and mounted his horse so he could head back to the ranch. Perhaps he
could use another approach to convince Adam that working in a saloon
was not a good idea. Ben decided that he would make sure that Adam
did not get through with his work on the Ponderosa. When he arrived
back to the ranch, he sent Hoss to the north pasture to deliver a
message to his brother. Ben knew that his eldest son would not be
happy, but he wanted Adam to realize that his pa still knew what was
best.

Adam had just finished tearing down the section of fence that was in
need of repair when he saw his brother Hoss come riding up in the
distance. Hoss slowed down his horse as he approached Adam, who was
standing with his hands on his hips, patiently waiting for
him. "What are you doin’ out here, Hoss? Is everything all
right?"

"Yep, sure is. Pa sent me out here to tell you something," Hoss
replied as he took a drink of water from his canteen.

"Well?" Adam asked.

"Well what? Oh, Pa sent me to tell ya that after ya finished with
this section, there was another section on the south pasture that
was needin’ fixin’." Hoss could not help but notice the expression
on his brother’s face as his eyebrow arched as frustration crept
across his handsome features.

"And I assume that he wanted it done, today?" Adam hoped that he
would be able maintain a calm tone in his voice. He did not
want Hoss to think that he was mad at him.

Hoss merely shook his head, confirming what Adam already
knew. "Adam, how `bout I help ya? Together we can get it done in
no time."

Adam smiled at his brother; Hoss was the eternal peacekeeper. The
eldest Cartwright smiled to himself, wishing at times that he could
be like his younger brother. Hoss always believed life was supposed
to be simple and carefree, but Adam knew better. From the time he
left Boston as a baby until the present, his life had never been
that way. It had been one laced with responsibility and forced
adulthood. Having two younger brothers depend on him for everything
had made Adam leave his own childhood behind.

Now, having been forced to be an adult all his life, his Pa was
trying to take that honor away from him. He did not want to admit
that Adam had grown up and was his own man; he now wanted him to be
the child that he never was or never could be. "No, Hoss. Pa
didn’t mean for you to stay and help me. He’s trying to prove a
point. Go back and tell Pa that I’ll take care of it and I’ll see
him later tonight when I get back from town. If he wants that fence
fixed today, I guess I’ll just have to go straight to town after I’m
done."

"Ya mean ya ain’t comin’ home fer supper?"

"That’s what I mean," Adam said as he picked up a new piece of
lumber to begin the repair work.

"Pa’s gonna be mad; not to mention Hop Sing." Hoss did not like the
idea of his older brother not being at the dinner table with the
rest of the family.

"I’ve already made them both mad today. Maybe that’ll give them
time to cool off. Now, you better get on home, I know you probably
still have some chores to do."

Hoss mounted his horse and sparing one last glance at his brother,
he set off in a gallop towards home. Adam returned to his work. He
was frustrated and angered by his pa’s game. The problem with
playing games was that someone always would inevitably have to be
the loser. Personally, he made a vow to himself that he would not
fulfill that role. No one would have to lose if his pa would just
leave well enough alone.



Ben and Joe Cartwright were tending to their horses when Hoss came
in, leading his horse by the reins. Ben came over to him and helped
him remove his saddle. "Did you find Adam?"

"Yes sir, I did. I gave him the message that you sent." Hoss
slipped the bridle off his horse, replacing it with a halter.

"What did he say?" A flicker of hope was detected in his voice as
he felt for sure that Adam would come to his senses.

Hoss sighed and looked at his pa. "Well, Pa. It’s like this. Adam
said that he’d see you later tonight when he got home. Since he had
to go an’ patch that extra fence, he’d just go on into town. He
ain’t comin’ home for supper, Pa."

"What do you mean he’s not coming home for supper? He knows how I
feel about all of us eating the last meal of the day together."

"I guess he feels like he ain’t got no choice, Pa." Hoss could
tell that his pa was mad. Whether they realized it or not, he and
Adam wore many of the same expressions.

"If that’s the way he wants it, then that’s the way it’ll be." Ben
started to storm out the barn door when he was stopped by Hoss’s
next words.

"Pa, it ain’t the way he wants it. It seems to me that you’ve
forced his hand. If you and him weren’t so much alike, you’d see
that both of ya’s just as stubborn as a mule."

Ben turned around and looked at Hoss and Little Joe. "You boys
finish up here. Then go in and finish your studies before
supper." Ben went in the house and made his way to his room.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, his attention was drawn to the music
box that had belonged to Adam’s mother, Elizabeth. "I have to make
him see that I’m right, Liz. I just don’t want him to get hurt."
He knew that it would be a long night. He would wait up for Adam to
make sure that he was okay; hopefully his eldest son would see that
he would be unable to keep up his duties on the Ponderosa and to
Shelby.



The last of the fence was repaired. It had taken him the better
part of the day to fix the fence in the northern pasture.
Fortunately, the repair job in the southern pasture was small,
although it was time consuming. Gathering up his tools, he placed
them in the buckboard next to the remaining lumber. He climbed in
the buckboard and headed off towards town. He would have much
preferred to ride his horse, but he could not take the time to go
back to the ranch and trade.

Adam was hot and dirty from the full day’s work he had already put
in. He hoped that he could at least wash his hands and face when he
got to the saloon. Pulling out his pocket watch, he noted the
time. Barring any complications, he should be at the saloon within
an hour. Adam refused to admit that he was bone tired. He had to
prove to his pa that he could do this; that he could make it on his
own. Adam knew that when he went away to college, he would have no choice but to make it on his own.

It was later than Adam intended for it to be when he arrived in town. Pulling the buckboard around back, he made sure the brake was secure, and then he walked back around front to the saloon entrance. As he went into the saloon, he saw that the usual patrons were beginning to start their evening rituals of drinking and fighting. Adam saw Shelby in the distance and made his way over to her. "Shelby, sorry I’m late."

"Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t for sure if you’d make it at all,
things bein’ the way they are with your pa." The last thing that
Shelby had intended to do was to start a war between father and son.

"You let me worry about Pa. Now, what do you want me to start on
first?"

Shelby ushered him back to the small storage room that doubled as an
office. Smiling, she gestured for him to take a seat at the small
desk as she handed him the ledger. "You can start here and help me
figure out how I’m losin’ money instead of makin’ money."

"Okay. Before I start, can I wash up a bit? I came here right
after I finished my work at the ranch. I didn’t take time to clean
up."

"I thought ya looked a little dusty when you rode in. There’s a
pitcher and a bowl over there. I’ll fetch ya a towel."

Adam nodded his thanks as he got up and walked over to the
washstand. He rolled up his sleeves and then poured the water into
the bowl. As he cupped his hands and splashed the water on his
face, he heard Shelby come back into the room. "Here ya go, Adam."

"Thanks." He gratefully accepted the towel and stood up to dry his
face and hands off. Feeling slightly refreshed, he sat down at the
desk and began to study the figures before him. "I’ll need all your
bills of sale and a record of your nightly earnings."

"Well, here’s the bills of sale, but I don’t keep a record of how
much money I take in." Shelby handed him a box overstuffed with
papers.

"Well, starting tonight, you will." Shelby nodded in agreement to
Adam’s request. Turning she went back to the saloon and left Adam
alone so he could work.



Adam had no idea how much time elapsed before Shelby came back into
the office. She set a plate of food down before him along with a
cup of coffee. "Dawned on me that ya probably didn’t eat either."

He looked up at Shelby and smiled. "Thank you. You didn’t have to
do this."

"Can’t have my hired help passin’ out from hunger, can I?" Shelby
sat on a nearby crate as she watched the young man hastily eat the
meal that had been provided for him. "So, how’s it goin?"

"Not much for book keeping, are you?" Adam asked as he sipped his
coffee.

"Nope. Guess book smarts just don’t come naturally to me. Never was good at anything to do with books. Truth is I don’t read very well, so I just don’t fool with it." Shelby was at a loss to explain why she had told Adam something about herself that she had kept hidden for many years. Adam carried a certain presence about him that tended to put her at ease.

"I didn’t mean anything by saying that. I’m sorry if I offended
you." Adam knew that he was fortunate that he had learned to read
at a young age and that he had never lost the passion for reading.
There were many times when he and his family were on their way out
west, a book became his best friend. It provided him a place to
escape to when the responsibilities that had been placed upon him
became too much.

Shelby shook her head. "Ya didn’t offend me none."

"I could help you if you want," Adam offered.

"Help me what? Help me learn to read? I’m too old to learn
somethin’ new." Shelby couldn’t help but laugh at his suggestion.

"I’m serious, Shelby. You’re never too old to learn; even my Pa
can’t argue with that."

"I’ll think about it. Right now, I’ve got to get back out there.
Holler if ya need anything." Shelby left Adam to his work and went
back to the customers.

Adam went back to working on the books and trying to make sense of
the way Shelby conducted her business. Unaware of the time, he
worked on into the night. It was close to midnight when Shelby came
back in and found him pouring his soul into his work.

"Adam? It’s past quittin’ time. Your pa’s gonna kill me for not
sending ya home before now."

"What?" Adam pulled out his pocket watch and saw the time. "I
guess it is kinda late. I’ve made a good start. By tomorrow, I
should have the ledgers balanced for you." He closed the book and
laid it to the side. Standing up, he picked up his hat and began to
make his way outside.

"Thanks, Adam. I hope that your pa ain’t too mad at ya." Shelby
walked out with him, noticing how slowly he was moving. The boy was
exhausted, but stubborn pride would not allow him to admit this fact.

"Don’t worry about it. If he hadn’t tried to prove a point this
afternoon, I wouldn’t have worked late tonight. I’ll see you
tomorrow, Shelby." Adam mounted his horse and rode off into the
darkness.

Shelby went inside and began to clean up. "I sure hope ya know what
you’re doin’, Adam." While she worked, her thoughts continued to
dwell on a certain dark haired young man who felt like he had to
prove himself not only to his father, but to the world.



Ben looked at his watch once again. Only five minutes had passed
since the last time he had looked at it. He had sent Hoss and Joe
to bed several hours earlier and he had been sitting at the table
waiting for Adam ever since. After what seemed like an eternity,
Ben was able to sigh with relief when he heard the familiar sound of
Adam’s horse approaching. Rising from the table, he went to the
door and opened it. As he stepped outside, he saw his eldest son
taking his horse to the barn to bed the animal down. "You’re later
than I expected."

Adam stiffened at his father’s tone. "I got a late start since I
had to fix that section of fence in the south pasture."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Ben asked, trying to rein
in his temper that threatened to explode.

"Yes sir, I do. It’s late and I have to get up early. So if you’ll
excuse me, I’m goin’ to get a few hours of sleep." Adam walked past
his pa and went into the house.

By the time Ben followed him into the house, Adam was already in the
room that he still shared with Hoss and Joe, undressing and
preparing for bed. Ben opened the door to the boy’s bedroom to
find Adam turning down the covers. "Good night, Adam."

"G’night Pa." As soon as Adam’s head found the pillow, he was
asleep. Ben walked in and pulled the covers up around him and
leaned down and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "I love you,
son."

Ben went to his own bed and lay down as well. He truly did not want
to fight with Adam, but he could not ignore that fatherly instinct
that was ever so present, telling him that his new job was not a
good idea. Ben finally drifted off to sleep as he was praying for
guidance and wisdom in dealing with his eldest son.



Morning came early as all the Cartwrights gathered around the table
for breakfast. Hoss and Joe studied their father and oldest
brother as they ate. The tension between the two of them was
prominent. Ben cleared his throat as he began to speak. "Hoss,
when you and Joe get home from school, I need you boys to work on
that wood pile out there."

"Yes sir," they answered in unison.

"Adam, I want you to move that herd into the north pasture today.
Then when you get that done, I’m still waiting on you to break those
four mares in the corral."

"You want me to move that herd by myself?"

"If you want to be treated like a man, then you should do a man’s
work," Ben stated.

"Fine. If you’ll excuse me, it seems I better get busy." Adam
pushed his plate back and got up from the table. Grabbing his hat,
he headed out the door.

Joe and Hoss looked at their pa. "Pa? Don’t you think you’re bein’
unfair to Adam by workin’ him like that?" Hoss asked.

"No, I don’t. Adam has to see that I know what’s best for him.
Yes, he may be twenty one, but he is my son and he is still living
in my house."

Joe set down his glass and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "But Pa,
if you keep treatin’ Adam like that, what makes ya think he’ll stay
here? I don’t want Adam to go nowhere."

"Me either, Pa. You always told us that there is a high cost to
bein’ right? Are ya gonna make Adam pay that?" Hoss got up from
the table and went and got his books. Joe followed him, pausing to
pick up their lunches that Hop Sing had fixed. Sparing one last
glance at their pa, Hoss and Joe went out the door on their way to
school.

Ben sat alone as he sipped his coffee as he watched his youngest
sons leave for school. He knew that they were right; he shouldn’t
allow things to go on like this between him and Adam. He stood up,
picked up his hat, and went towards the barn to saddle his horse.
He would go and help Adam move the herd and perhaps they would have
the chance to talk. Perhaps they could come to an understanding; or
was the gulf that had been created to wide for them to cross?

By the time that Ben had caught up with Adam, his son had just gotten
the herd together and was preparing to move them into the north
pasture. The elder Cartwright could tell by the expression that was
etched across his son’s face that he was not happy. A pang of guilt
surged through Ben as he realized how unfair he had been to Adam. He
watched his son for a few moments as he expertly guided the herd,
keeping a watchful eye on them to ensure their safety.

Adam had truly been his father’s right hand man for many years and
the possibility of losing him was something that Ben did not want to
think about. Ben knew that if he and Adam did not come to an
understanding, then he would be in danger of losing his oldest son
forever.

"Need some help?" Ben called out to Adam.

Adam pulled back on his reins, slowing down when he heard the
familiar voice of his pa. "It depends," he replied.

Ben came up next to Adam and smiled slightly. "Depends on what?"

"It depends if you came to help or if you came to argue."

Ben held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "I didn’t come to argue
with you. It wasn’t fair of me to expect you to move the herd by
yourself."

"Well, at least we agree on something," Adam retorted. I’ve got `em
together, so they’re ready to move."

"Let’s get this herd a movin’ then." Together father and son
expertly kept the herd together as they made their way to north
pasture. Neither Ben nor Adam spoke as they worked side by side,
creating an increasing air of tension between them. Coming to a
stream, the two men stopped as they allowed the livestock to drink.
Adam took their canteens and knelt down by the stream to fill them
both. As he handed his pa’s canteen back to him, Ben accepted it
gratefully. "Thank you, Adam." Taking a drink, he replaced the cap
and hung it back on his saddle horn. "Sure is warm today, isn’t it?"

"Yes sir. Pretty warm," Adam said.

Ben sighed and shook his head. "You’re not going to make this easy
for me, are you?"

"Should I?" Adam could tell by his pa’s actions that he had ridden
all the way out here to apologize. However, he thought it wouldn’t
hurt his pa to sweat it out a little bit.

"No, I guess you shouldn’t," Ben replied. "Adam, I want to talk to
you. I came to tell you that I am sorry for the way that I have been
acting. I know that you are your own man, but I guess I don’t like
the fact that you don’t need me as much as you used to."

"Pa, I’ll always need you. It’s just that our roles have changed,
Pa. I mean you’ve still got Hoss and Little Joe to raise and Lord
knows you’ve got your hands full there. I just thought I could do a
little more to help you out. You shouldn’t have to take care of me,
Pa. You know I want to go back East to college and I don’t expect
you to take away from Hoss and Joe or the Ponderosa to send me. This
is a chance for me to make my own way and if I fall flat on my face,
then I’ll get up and try again."

As Adam was speaking, Ben realized that he was not listening to a boy
talk, but a grown man. A man who had been forced to constantly
sacrifice his wants and desires for his family and the dream of the
Ponderosa. "I know. Adam, you’ve always been able to do anything
that you set your mind to, and this is no different. I’ll quit
arguing with you about working in the saloon, but I want you to
promise me something."

"What’s that, Pa?" Adam replaced his canteen and mounted his horse.

"Just be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt." Ben mounted his
own horse, bringing him along side of Adam’s own horse.

"Pa, I’ll be careful; and I promise to keep up my responsibilities at
the ranch, just don’t send me out to move a herd by myself anymore."
Adam smiled, his eyes full of life and a hint of mischief.

"It’s a deal." Ben extended his hand to his son and was rewarded
with a firm handshake. "Now, let’s finish this up so you can get
into town."

"Yes sir! By the way, Pa, what convinced you to come out here and
talk to me? Why didn’t you just wait until I got home?"

"Well, it seems that your younger brothers had a better grasp on this
situation than I did. Hoss reminded me that there is a terribly
high cost to being right."

Adam smiled as he started moving the herd out, his pa close behind
him. He’d have to remember to thank his younger brothers when he
returned home. Sometimes out of the mouths of the young, words of
wisdom would spring forth. Hoss had been right in what he had said.
There is a high cost in being right, and neither Adam nor Ben were
prepared to pay it.



Hoss and Joe were sitting on the porch, watching for their father and
brother to come down the road. They had hurried home from school
just to find out what had happened. "Do you see `em?" Little Joe
asked as he peered down the road.

"Nope. Wait a minute...here they come!" Hoss almost shouted as he
saw his pa and Adam riding side by side.

"Do they look mad?" Joe asked as he tried to peer over his brother’s
shoulder. It was not the first time that he wished he were taller.

"Nope, they’re both smiling! Whadda ya know? It looks like they
made up!" Hoss and Little Joe ran out to meet them. "Sure is good
to see the two of you bein’ friends again. I thought I was gonna
have to knock some sense into both of ya!"

"No, we’re okay, Hoss," Adam replied as he handed his reins to
Joe. "How about givin’ him a good brushin’ for me? It was hot and
dusty out there." Joe happily took Adam’s horse into the barn,
leaving the rest of his family as they walked towards the house. "I
need to get cleaned up, Pa."

"All right. I’ll tell Hop Sing that you’ll be joining us for dinner
tonight." Ben went into the kitchen, leaving the two brothers to
themselves.

Adam placed his hand on Hoss’s shoulder. "Thanks for being so smart."

"Whadda ya mean? Adam, ya know I ain’t smart."

"Hoss, I’m not talking about book smart. I’m talking about common
sense smart. There’s a lot of people out there that don’t have
that. Or sometimes, people let emotions get in the way of their
common sense."

"Like you and Pa?" Hoss asked. He truly was flattered by his
brother’s praise. Adam was always one to keep his feelings to
himself, but around Hoss, his older brother often showed a side that
many never saw.

"Yes, like Pa and me. Hoss, don’t ever let any one tell you that
you’re not smart. You’re one of the smartest men I know." Adam
walked into his room to get a fresh change of clothing to put on
after he cleaned up.

Hoss shook his head and ran into Ben as he was coming back
outside. "Pa, I’m sure glad that you and Adam got things right
between ya."

"Me too, son. Me too." Adam and Hoss went to the barn to finish
the evening time chores and to be sure that Little Joe was not
distracted from his task. Things were as they should be on the
Ponderosa, but that did not keep Ben from secretly worrying about his
eldest son.



Shelby was surprised when Adam came in the saloon quite a bit earlier
than he did the previous night. "Did ya run away from home?"

"No. I think Pa and I came to an understanding. I hope so anyway."
Adam walked back to the small office space that he worked in and took
off his jacket and hat, laying them on a nearby crate. Pulling out
the books, he immediately picked up where he had left off the night
before. Shelby soon followed him, placing a cup of coffee on the
desk. "Thanks," Adam replied as he took a sip from the steaming cup.

"You’re welcome. So, everything’s all right between you and your
pa?" Shelby asked. It had truly bothered her to think that she had
inadvertently come between father and son.

"For now. I just don’t think he likes to think about me growin’ up.
He just seems to forget that I’ve been grown up for a long time
now." Setting his coffee down, he picked up his pencil and began to
add together the numbers before him.

"It must’ve been a hard life, comin’ all the way out here from the
east." Shelby watched with interest as Adam worked on the ledgers.

"It had its good days and bad days. I don’t think we have the corner
market on livin’ a hard life."

"You don’t never complain, do ya Adam?" His silent sacrifices had
been one of the first qualities that Shelby had noticed about the
young man. She knew that being treated as an adult from a very young
age tended to make Adam more responsible, but yet guarded.

"Every once in a while. I’m almost done balancing this ledger.
Now, let me have the earnings from last night and I’ll start working
on that."

Shelby handed Adam the bag with the money in it. He smiled as he
took it from her, nodding his thanks. As she turned to go, she
hesitated at the door. "Adam, I thought about what ya said last
night. Ya know, about learnin’ to read."

"Yeah?"

"Do ya really think I can do it?"

Adam nodded. "Yes Shelby. I know you can do it."

"Will ya teach me?" Shelby was not used to asking any body for
favors, but she felt so at ease when she was around Adam. She knew
that he would be discreet and honest in his intentions. She did not
have to worry about her secrets being discovered by the town.

"I’d be honored. We can work a few minutes a night after you close.
You’ll be readin’ in no time." Shelby smiled as she lit herself a
new cigar. Closing the door behind her, she returned to work,
leaving Adam alone in the office. He truly was excited that he could
teach her to read. Adam knew that underneath her rough exterior was
truly a unique woman who deserved to come out of her hiding place.
He was thankful that he would be a part of the discovery.

As the weeks passed, Adam was able to juggle his responsibilities to
the ranch and to his job at the saloon without any major problems.
There were times that working two jobs left him exhausted, but he
pushed through his fatigue and pressed on. He definitely
appreciated Sundays more. It was the only day that he did not have
to worry about working at either place. Ben had always stressed the
importance of the Lord’s Day to his sons and that they should
respect it.

Within the first week of working at Shelby’s, Adam had straightened
out her ledgers and had given her some options to where she would
ultimately start making money. Presently, he was starting to do
some repairs around the saloon as well as being the occasional
bartender. Ben was not enthused about that part of his job, but he
had promised himself that he would let Adam make his own decisions.
His pa had come to the realization that whenever his eldest son left
and went away to college, Adam would have to make all his own
decisions.

During this time, Adam had also continued tutoring Shelby as he
taught her how to read. Both had been pleasantly surprised how
easily she had caught on. Instead of primers, Adam was now
introducing Shelby to the world of books that he so dearly
cherished. He had told Shelby that books could take one places that
they had only dreamed about. As they spent more time together, they
found themselves growing closer and enjoying each other’s company.
Several times, Adam had arrived home later than usual just because
they had been talking. Feeling at ease with each other had allowed
them both to open up, each considering the other to be a
confidante.

This particular evening, Adam was behind the saloon, working on
repairing a dilapidated shed that could be used for storage. Even
though the sun had set, the night air was still muggy and warm.
Adam had long since shed his shirt as he worked on the roof. His
muscular frame was glistening with sweat as he paused to wipe his
brow. "Hotter than a firecracker, ain’t it?" Adam looked down to
see Shelby standing just outside the back door of the saloon.

"Sure is. Of course, it’s not as bad working up here now as it
would be during the day. Trust me; I’ve been on the roof of our
barn most of the day."

"Brought ya some cold water. Figured you’re about ready for it,"
Shelby said as she walked towards him with a glass.

Adam stood up so he could climb down off the roof. As he tried to
make his way down carefully, he did not notice the loose board that
had not been secured. When he stepped on the board, it came out
from under him and Adam fell, landing hard on the ground below.
Shelby dropped the glass of water as she ran over to him. "Adam?
Adam? Are ya all right?"

He slowly rolled over and sat up. "Yeah, I think so." As he
attempted to stand, a searing pain in his side, forced him back to
the ground.

"Are ya sure?" Shelby tried to study the man before her for any
further indications of pain. One thing that she had learned about
the eldest Cartwright son was that he hid his emotions well.

"Yeah, just give me a minute." Adam took a deep breath and managed
to push himself up off the ground. A small moan of pain did not go
unnoticed by Shelby.

"Come on; let’s get ya inside where I can get a better look at ya."
She knew that Adam would be resistant, but she also knew that she
could be as stubborn as he was.

"Shelby, I…"

"Ain’t no use to argue with me. Now, come on in the back room here
and sit down." Shelby gently put her arm around his waist to offer
him extra support as he slowly made his way inside.

Adam knew that there was no use arguing with Shelby; she had made
that quite clear earlier on. Sometimes he wondered if she was more
stubborn than his pa. She helped him sit down in a nearby chair and
began to examine him. "Where does it hurt?"

"I think I just cracked a rib. Nothin’ serious," Adam replied. He
hated to be hurt or sick, although the latter rarely happened.

Shelby felt around his ribs as she noticed some bruising that was
starting to appear. "Actually you cracked two. Let me get some
strips and I’ll bind them up for ya. You’ll be good as new in no
time."

"Shelby, you don’t have to do that."

"I know I don’t have to, but I’m goin’ to." Shelby returned with
some strips of cloth and began to wrap them around Adam. Once she
made sure that they were secure, she handed him his shirt that he
had discarded earlier.

"Thanks. I guess I’ll get back to work as soon as I have that glass
of cold water you promised me." Adam began to button his shirt as
he stood up.

"Nope. You’re gonna go home and go to bed. Ya need to rest."

Adam shook his head. "Shelby, it’s not the first time I’ve had
cracked ribs; believe me, I’m fine."

"Well then, I’m givin’ ya the rest of the night off." The last
thing she wanted Adam to do was to climb back on the roof tonight or
possibly the next couple of days.

"Shelby…"

"Don’t `Shelby’ me. Do as I say, now get outta here." Shelby
handed him his hat and gestured for him to go out the door.

Adam slowly walked towards the door which opened out in the saloon.
Thankfully, it was not the busiest time, so he did not have to deal
with a contention of on lookers as he carefully made his way out the
front door. Shelby followed him close behind just in case he needed
anything. Adam gathered his reins and mounted his horse. A gasp of
pain escaped from his lips as he swung his leg over the saddle and
forced himself to sit up straight. He tipped his hat towards
Shelby as he turned to ride off. "Ya better tell your pa what
happened to ya, or I will."

Adam winked at her as he smiled. "Yes ma’am."

She watched the young man ride off into the distance, keeping his
horse at a slow steady pace. Hearing footsteps approach, Shelby
turned to see Big Dan standing beside her. "Ya better not let a lot
of people see the way you look at the boy," he said quietly.

"What’re ya talkin’ about?" Shelby asked, a slight agitation
present in her voice.

"The way ya look at Adam there. You’re eyes are doin’ a lotta
talkin’."

Shelby shook her head. "Ya don’t know what you’re talkin’ about."

"I ain’t blind, Shelby. Most other folk around here ain’t either,
includin’ Ben Cartwright."

Shelby glared at Big Dan as she felt her face flush slightly. "Like
I said, ya don’t know what you’re talkin’ about." She walked back
in the saloon and went towards the back room and slammed the door.
One thing she couldn’t tolerate was people sticking their nose in
her business. She and Adam were friends, nothing more. How could
Big Dan even think that she had feelings of the romantic nature
towards Adam Cartwright? Adam was a friend—a good friend that she
could count on. There were very few people that Shelby actually
trusted and Adam Cartwright was one of them. She sat down and poured
herself a drink from a bottle that she kept in the desk drawer.
Adam was her friend, a true friend, and she would not ruin that
friendship by allowing her more personal feelings to interfere.



Ben was sitting in his chair, studying the latest lumber contract
that Adam had drawn up. There was no doubt about it that his oldest
son had a good head on his shoulders and a natural ability with
numbers. As he was preparing to endorse the contract, he heard a
horse approaching. He stood up and went to the front door.
Surprise etched his features as he saw Adam slowly dismount his
horse. He watched his son as he moved, a slight grimace the only
indication that he was in pain. Ben quickly made his way to his
eldest son’s side. "Adam? You’re home early."

"Yes sir. I had a slight accident and Shelby sent me home." Adam
gathered the reins and began to lead his horse towards the barn.

"An accident? Are you okay?" Ben followed closely behind his son,
watching his every movement. He knew his son did not volunteer
information freely and one would only know something if Adam so
desired it. However, he could tell his son was in pain and Ben was
not about to let his son suffer in silence.

"I’m fine, Pa. It’s nothing major." Adam began to take the saddle
off when his father placed a restraining hand on his arm. "Pa, I’m
fine."

"What happened?"

Adam sighed. "I cracked a couple of ribs. It’s no big deal." Adam
turned his attention back to his horse.

Ben gently pulled his son back away from the horse. "Go on inside,
I’ll take care of your horse."

Adam started to protest, but the look on his father’s face quickly
changed his mind. "Yes sir." He went to towards the house, moving
slowly and carefully. Ben finished taking care of Adam’s horse and
soon joined his son, who was sitting in the chair in front of the
fire place.

Ben poured the two of them a cup of coffee and handed one to his
oldest son. "So, do I have to guess how it happened? Did you get
in a fight?"

"No sir. I fell off the roof of the shed behind the saloon. Shelby
insisted that I come on home and rest."

"Well, it’s good to see that she showed a little bit of common sense
there."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. I’m just glad she convinced you to come home and didn’t
let you return to work." Ben had no intentions of starting an
argument with his son, but he knew that he had put Adam on the
defensive once again.

Adam stood up and finished the last of his coffee. "Pa, if you
actually took the time to know Shelby, you would discover that she
is a really good person. She’s had to overcome a lot in her life
when the odds were stacked against her. You of all people should be
able to understand that. I’ll see you in the morning; I’m going to
bed."

Ben nodded as he watched his son slowly go towards his room. Adam
was constantly the champion of the underdog, but when he spoke of
Shelby, there was something different in his voice. Maybe he was
just imagining things, but Ben decided that his son would bear close
watching in the future.

The next morning, Adam carefully made his way to the table to join
his family for breakfast. His ribs provided him with a not so subtle
reminder of the need to take things a little slower than he usually
did. As he sat down, he noticed that his brothers and his pa were
watching him. "Mornin’," he said as he placed his napkin on his
lap.

"Good morning, son. How did you sleep last night?" Ben asked with a
hint of concern in his voice.

"Pretty good," Adam replied as he took a sip of his coffee.

Ben shook his head slightly at his eldest son. Adam never
volunteered any information about his well being, a habit that he had
acquired as they had traveled west. "How are your ribs, son?"

"I’m a little sore, Pa. It’s nothin’ to worry about though. I can
still pull my weight."

"I never said that you couldn’t." Ben decided that he needed to take
the conversation in another direction before he and Adam ended up in
another senseless argument. "Hoss and Joe, after school, I need you
to finish that section of the corral that needs repairing. Adam, I’d
like you to go into Eagle Station for some supplies today. I’ve made
out a list." He handed Adam the list and watched as his son looked
over it.

Adam nodded and stuck the list in his pocket as he turned his
attention back to his breakfast. He was grateful that his pa hadn’t
assigned him anything too strenuous today. He wasn’t for sure if his
ribs could take the stress of his usual chores which he would have
done without complaint.

Ben once again addressed his oldest son, "Once you have finished
that, I’d appreciate it if you would come back and look over this new
lumber contract. I have to give an answer by the end of the week."

"Yes sir. I guess I better hitch up the team and get going." He
turned to Hoss and Joe, who both admired their brother and the way
that he would help their pa with running the ranch. "Finish up and
well ride in together. That way I know that you’ll get to school
without any sudden distractions."

Hoss and Little Joe smiled as they jumped up and went to gather their
books. Adam grabbed his hat as he walked out the door. He had the
team hitched to the buckboard in no time and then saddled his
brother’s horses. Adam then patiently waited for his brothers to
emerge from the house. "Come on you two; let’s get a move on!"

Little Joe came out first, followed by Hoss who was mumbling under
his breath. "Don’t know why I need to go to school."

Adam smiled as he handed Hoss the reins of his horse to
him. "Because an education is something that no one can take away
from you; and because Pa said so."

Little Joe laughed as he mounted his horse. "That’s the only reason
I go."

Adam wished that his brothers had the thirst for knowledge that he
did. He remembered when he had been their perspective ages; he had a
desire for learning that could not be surpassed. He considered every
situation in life a learning experience. "One of these days, you’ll
appreciate the knowledge and learning that you’ve gained through an
education. Now, let’s get goin’."

The three brothers rode out together and headed towards Eagle
Station. Ben stood on the porch and watched them ride out of sight.
He loved all his sons and they truly were his life. Losing his wives
had been difficult, but if he ever lost one of his sons, he knew that
he would lose himself. Ben shook his head as he tried to push out
the negative thoughts that were plaguing him. He silently admonished
himself for thinking that way; he knew that his concern over Adam had
imposed those thoughts in his mind. He silently prayed for
protection over his sons, mentioning Adam by name. The son that had
been by his side from the beginning was testing new ground without
his father.



After making sure that Little Joe and Hoss made it to school, Adam
went over to the store where he was greeted by Eli. "Good morning,
Adam."

"Good morning. It’s that time of the month," Adam said as he pulled
out the list of supplies that his pa had given him.

Eli smiled as he took the list from the oldest Cartwright son. "I
have several orders ahead of you. Are you in a hurry?"

"Take your time. I don’t expect you to stop what you’re doing for
me. I’ll check back in a few minutes and then I’ll help you fill
it."

Eli shook his head. "Adam, you don’t work here any longer. I don’t
expect you to..."

"I know you don’t, but I insist. Now, I’ll be back in about 30
minutes." Adam smiled and walked out of the store, deciding that he
would go over to the saloon to see if there was anything he could do
there.

Eli watched the young man leave. Ruth came up to him and placed a
hand on his shoulder. "Ben raised a fine young man in Adam."

"Yes he did. I just hope Adam knows what he is doing." Eli and Ruth
went back to waiting on their customers with the kindness that they
always demonstrated.



As Adam approached the saloon, he could hear Shelby arguing with
someone. Peering in the window, he saw none other that Jack Wolf
sitting at the bar. It was no secret that Jack Wolf and Shelby
disliked each other. He quietly slipped in and stood at the door,
going unnoticed by the two that were in a heated discussion.

"I done told ya, Jack; I ain’t a sellin’ out to you. Now, git your
behind out of my saloon." Shelby placed her hand on her pistol to
emphasize the seriousness of her request.

"Now Shelby, listen to reason..." Jack tried to maintain a calm
demeanor while he was talking to the fiery woman before him.

"The lady asked you to leave," Adam interjected before Shelby could
reply.

Jack and Shelby turned to see Adam leaning against the wall. "Well,
if it isn’t Adam Cartwright," Jack exclaimed. It seemed that the
oldest Cartwright son was nothing but a constant thorn in his side.

"The lady asked you to leave Jack and I suggest that you oblige."
Adam’s stance was firm as he crossed his arms. Jack Wolf made a
living by intimidating people, but Adam refused to be one of those
people.

"If you think that Shelby Sterret is a lady, you have a poor opinion
of women." Jack made his way over to where Adam was standing.

"I consider her to be more of lady than I would ever consider you to
be a man," Adam replied. He held the door open and gestured for Jack
to leave. Jack glared at Adam as he hastened out of the saloon.
Adam closed the door and walked over to the bar. Taking a seat, he
gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that Shelby poured for him.

"Thank ya Adam. I don’t think that any one has ever took up for me
like that." Shelby was truly taken aback by the display of chivalry
that Adam had demonstrated.

"You’re welcome. What did he want?"

"He’s just upset that I’m finally makin’ money and he wants to buy me
out. Of course, I told him no. Anyway, what’re ya doin’ here this
early?"

"Pa sent me in for some supplies. It was going to be few minutes
before Eli could get to my order; so I thought I’d come over and see
if there was anything that needed to be done around here." Adam
finished off the last of his coffee and set his cup down. "I’m glad
I came by when I did. Evidently Jack Wolf needs a few lessons on how
to talk to a lady."

"You keep sayin’ that. Jack’s right, ya know. I ain’t no lady."
Shelby pulled out a cigar and started to light it.

Adam looked at Shelby, his eyes speaking of the sincerity of his
words. "Shelby, I believe that underneath that tough exterior is a
lady. A lady who has seen so much hardship in her life that she
believes that if she hides her beauty, no one will ever hurt her."

Shelby looked at Adam for a hint of deceit, but knew that she would
not find any. She had come to realize that before her sat the most
honest and sincere man she had ever met. "Is that what ya really
think of me?"

"Yes it is. I hope that one day; you’ll see yourself for who you
really are." Adam locked eyes with Shelby as she reached out and
took his hand. He smiled as she lightly squeezed it, knowing that
she was thanking him in her own way.

The awkwardness of what she had just done startled her and she jerked
her hand back. She was thankful that the saloon was empty. Had it
not been, the embarrassment of what she had just done would have
overwhelmed her. "I gotta git back to work. I’ll see ya tonight."

Adam nodded as he stood up. "Okay. Take care." Shelby watched
Adam walk out of the saloon. As he opened the door, he hesitated and
turned back towards Shelby. "I didn’t mean to embarrass you,
Shelby." He turned and left, leaving the saloon owner more confused
than ever.


Across the street, Jack Wolf also watched Adam Cartwright leave the
saloon. The anger he felt towards Ben Cartwright’s oldest son was
indescribable. "Adam Cartwright, you won’t be so high and mighty by
the time I get through with you." Jack smiled as he watched the
young man walk down the street. His mind formulated a plan to
ensure that Adam Cartwright learned to mind his own business.

Adam helped Eli load the supplies into the buckboard and headed
towards home. His thoughts lingered on Shelby and their last
conversation. Adam had long ago reached the conclusion that Shelby
must have had a difficult life before she came to Eagle Station.
Since he had been working for her, he had been able to catch
glimpses of the woman that Shelby tried to so desperately hide.

As he neared the barn, Adam pulled back on the reins bringing the
team to a stop. He carefully climbed down and began to unload the
supplies. Adam was greeted by his pa as he carried a box of
supplies in the house. "Son, need some help?"

"Sure Pa." Adam winced as he sat the box down on the table. This
action did not go unnoticed by Ben. "I’ll finish unloading these
supplies. You go and start looking over that contract for me."

Adam nodded and sat down on the other side of the table where Ben
had his papers spread out. He began to study the document as Ben
came in the house with another box. Ben truly appreciated the fine
mind that Adam had and cherished his input on the day to day running
of the ranch. He watched Adam’s brow furrow in concentration as he
carefully read the proposal. "Have you seen any problems yet?"

"Nothing major. I’ll make the changes and let you read over them
and see what you think." Placing the document on the table, he
watched Ben put up the supplies. "Pa? I’d like to go into town a
little earlier this afternoon, if you don’t have anything else for
me to do."

"Oh? Any particular reason?"

"Well, Shelby was having a little trouble with Jack Wolfe earlier
today and I just have a feeling that he’s not through causing
trouble." Adam was truly concerned about Shelby’s well being and
wanted to be sure that he was there to protect her.

"Son, I think Shelby can handle Jack Wolfe. I’d prefer you not to
have any dealings with that man. Since when did you become her
protector?" Ben was beginning to wonder if his son’s desire to help
Shelby was out of simple courtesy or if it stemmed from something
more personal.

"Pa…I just want to help her. You’ve always taught me about the
importance of helping others."

"I know I have. I just don’t want to see you get hurt."

"I won’t Pa. I know what I’m doing."

Ben wished for a moment that Adam was the small boy that would never
leave his side. It was difficult to accept the fact that he was a
grown man and had the right to lead his own life. Adam had more
than kept his end of the deal up by making sure things around the
Ponderosa had been taken care of first. He also even managed to
spend time with Hoss and Little Joe, helping them with their studies
as well as taking them fishing or riding. Ben sighed as he nodded
his head. "All right son, just be careful."

Adam smiled at his pa. "Thanks Pa." He returned his attention to
the contract in hand and began to make the necessary additions to
it. Once he finished, he reviewed the changes with Ben, explaining
why he made certain revisions.

Ben reached up and patted his son on the back. "Great job, Adam,"
Ben replied as he praised his oldest son.

Adam had never been very accepting of physical displays of affection
from anybody. He had built that wall around himself many years ago
after Inger had died. However, the praise from his father meant
more to him than anything. "Thanks, Pa." He picked up his hat and
made his way onto the front porch. "I’m gonna saddle up Beauty and
get on into town."

"All right, but please be careful."

"I will Pa. I’ll see ya later." Adam walked out to the barn and
began to saddle his horse when he heard the unmistakable laughter of
his brothers outside the door.

"Hey Adam," Little Joe said as he came into the barn, leading his
horse. "Guess what?"

"There’s gonna be a social in town this Saturday." Hoss followed
his younger brother in the barn and began to take the saddle off of
his own horse.

"Hoss, I was gonna tell him," Little Joe whined. "Anyway, there’s
gonna be a social. There’s gonna be music and dancin’…"

"And food." Hoss interjected excitedly. "Who are ya gonna ask,
Adam?"

"I don’t even recall saying that I was going to attend this social.
Have either of you told Pa about this?"

Both of his younger brothers shook their heads. "Don’t ya think
that you ought to ask him if you can go?" Sometimes Hoss and Joe
would get carried away making plans and forget that Pa had the final
say in what they did.

"Good idea!" Hoss said as he and Joe took off in a dead run towards
the house. Adam smiled at the enthusiasm of his two younger
brothers. Mounting Beauty, he headed towards town, thankful that he
would not have to listen to his brothers plead and cajole Pa into
allowing them to attend this social.



As Adam arrived back in town, he noticed that a blanket of dark
clouds had covered the small town of Eagle Station. Hearing the
thunder in the distance, he hoped that he would be able to finish
the roof on the shed out back of the saloon. He decided to board
his horse in the livery, just in case there was a storm. As he was
giving his horse some water, he heard the sound of footsteps come up
behind him. Before he could turn around, he was shoved up against
the wall. Adam struggled against his unknown assailants until he
felt a pistol against his face. "I suggest ya calm down, boy. We
got a message for ya."

"What is it?" Adam asked as he tried to look back over his
shoulders to try and catch a glimpse of his attackers.

"Ya need to stay out of Mr. Wolfe’s business or the next time, we
won’t be so gentle. We’ll make ya beg for mercy." The man with the
pistol turned Adam around to face him. Both of the men’s faces were
covered so they could not be recognized easily. To emphasize the
seriousness of the threat, the second man hit Adam in the stomach,
catching his sore ribs in the process. As the two men left, they
dropped Adam on the floor where he had no choice to sit for a few
minutes trying to control the pain. He was sure that one of his
ribs were now broken.

Slowly he got up and braced his ribs with his arm. When he was able to stand up straight, he walked out of the livery stable and made his way down the street to the saloon owned and operated by Jack Wolfe. As he opened the door he spotted Jack sitting at one of the back tables
with one his girls on his lap. Adam walked in and went over to Jack. "If you have something to say to me, I’d prefer you to come and tell me yourself. Don’t send your goons to do your dirty work because you don’t have the courage to face me."

Jack glared at the brash young man before him. He smiled as he took
a sip of his whiskey, "I don’t know what you’re talking about,
Cartwright."

"Yes you do. You forgot one thing Jack; I’m not one of your little
puppets that cower when your name is spoken. You don’t scare me and
you never have. Remember what I said." Adam turned and left the
saloon.

Silence filled the room as the customers waited for Jack to
respond. There were not many people who would stand up to Jack
Wolfe the way that Adam Cartwright just did. They also knew that
the young Cartwright had started something that he may not be able
to finish. Jack stood up and went back to his office. Slamming the door behind
him, he silently vowed that he would make Adam Cartwright’s life a
living hell.



Adam made his way over to Shelby’s saloon as the thunder rolled
across the sky. From the expression on Adam’s face, Shelby could
tell that something was wrong. He went in the back room and began
to gather his tools to go and work on that shed before the storm
came in full force. She followed him into the back determined to
find out what was wrong with the young man. "Adam? What’s got ya
so riled up?"

"Jack Wolfe." Adam had no intentions on offering a further
explanation.

"Jack? What happened?" Shelby waited for an answer but received
none as she watched Adam look around for one of his tools.

"Where’s my hammer?" Adam asked.

"Never mind the hammer. What happened with Jack?"

"He sent a couple of his men to tell me to mind my own business. So
I went and told him that he needed to deliver his own messages.
That’s all." Adam leaned over to pick up the sought after hammer
and gasped in pain.

"Adam? Are ya okay? Were ya hurt?" Shelby helped him sit down in
the nearby chair.

"I’m okay," he protested.

"Let me be the judge of that. Take off your shirt." Shelby waited
for the young man to oblige her, but he sat there, staring at her
with those eyes that had begun to melt the icy layers that held her
heart.

"Are ya deaf? Let me take a look at those ribs." Adam knew that
there was no use in arguing with Shelby once she had her mind made
up. He unbuttoned his shirt and slowly removed it, careful not to
move too suddenly.

Shelby unwrapped the strips of cloth that were supposed to hold his
ribs in place. She drew a sharp breath in when she saw the bruising
that had formed on the young man’s side. "You were hit, weren’t ya?"

Adam nodded as he watched her check his ribs once again. "Well,
you’ve done gone and broke one them ribs. Ain’t much ya can do
except wrap `em up again an’ take it easy. You might as well forget
about that roof."

"But…"

"No buts. Now, sit still and let me wrap ya back up." Gently she
wrapped the strips of cloth around his abdomen and waist. When she
finished, she discovered Adam looking at her, his thoughts obviously
someplace else. "Adam?"

He reached up slowly with his hand and brushed a stray lock of hair
behind her ear. Their eyes met, searching each other for the trust
that neither one would freely give. Adam caressed her face with the
back of his hand. His touch was soft and gentle; his movements were
slow and precise.

Shelby could feel her heart beat at his touch. She knew that if she
crossed this line, there would be no turning back. However at this
particular moment, she wasn’t sure if she even cared about the
consequences. Standing before her was a man like no other that she
had ever known. He was someone who saw her for what she truly was.
Shelby closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, inviting the
handsome young man to kiss her.

Adam accepted the invitation with only a slight hesitation. As he
leaned down to meet her lips, he cupped her face in his hands and
kissed her. A loud knock at the door startled them both. Pulling
away from one another, Shelby opened the door. "What do ya want?"

Big Dan stood in the door way with a beer in his hand. "Storms a
comin’. Customers are headin’ home. Thought ya might want to lock
up and head home yourself."

"I’ll be right there," she replied, agitation evident in her voice.
She closed the door and turned back to face Adam. "Since ya broke
that rib and there’s a storm comin’, maybe ya better stay here
tonight. Ya can sleep here. I’ll clean off that cot for ya."

Shelby attempted to move past Adam, but found herself being easily
restrained by his hand. "I’m sorry. I was out of line."

"No, you weren’t. If ya had been outta line, I would’ve decked
ya." Shelby cleared off the cot and handed Adam a clean
blanket. "I gotta go and clean up before I can go home."

Adam set the blanket down, went over and opened the door for
Shelby. "Come on, I’ll help you out."

They both began to clean up the saloon as the rain broke through the
heavens. Adam washed the dirty glasses as Shelby cleaned and wiped
off the tables. Thunder and lightening danced through the sky as
the rain soon merged into a torrential downpour. Attempting to
break the silence in the air, Adam cleared his throat to
speak. "Hoss and Joe were telling me of a social this weekend."

"Yeah, I know all about it. I guess Hoss and Joe are excited."

"That’s an understatement. Are you planning on going?"

Shelby laughed out loud. "Me? Why would I go to somethin’ like
that? I got a saloon to run."

"It won’t hurt you to close down for one evening."

"Maybe not," she said thoughtfully. "Are you goin’?"

Adam shrugged his shoulders. "I don’t know. I…just don’t know."

"I’m sure that a handsome young man like you has his dance card is
plum full."

"Not as full as you think." Adam proceeded to dry the glasses and
put them up. "I tend to pick my dance partners very carefully."

The sound of Shelby’s laughter once again filled the room. "I bet
ya do. Anyway, why would I go to a dance when I don’t know how to
dance?"

"I could teach you." Adam moved over to where Shelby was sweeping.

"I don’t think so. I’m not real graceful and…"

Adam took the broom from her hand. He placed her hand in his and
placed the other one on her waist. "Now, put your other hand on my
shoulder." She did as she instructed and waited for Adam to
continue. "Now, relax and follow my lead."

"Adam this won’t work, we ain’t even got no music." Shelby started
to pull away from Adam, but he held her tightly and began humming
softly. He began to guide her across the saloon floor. Her
movements were awkward, but when she began to relax in his arms, she
found herself actually enjoying being in his gentle embrace.

"You’re doing very well." Adam smiled at her as she became more
comfortable in his arms. As they continued to dance, the distance
between them grew shorter. Shelby looked up into Adam’s eyes as he
stopped dancing. There was no hesitation as he leaned down to kiss
her once more. The kiss was not like before, soft and simple; it
was now laced with passion and sincerity.

Their lips parted as they stood in the middle of the saloon in each
other’s arms. Shelby cleared her throat as she tried to find her
voice to speak. "What now?"

Adam sighed. "I don’t know. Maybe things will be clearer in the
morning. I’m gonna ride on back home tonight."

"No. Stay in the back. You shouldn’t even be on a horse, much less
out in that storm." It had been a long time since Shelby had been
truly concerned about anyone other than herself.

"I’ll be all right. I’ll see you tomorrow." He gently placed a
final kiss on her forehead and walked out of the saloon towards the
livery. The rain that soaked him to the bone could not dampen his
spirits. He did not know if he could explain what had happened
tonight, but he did know that he did not regret it.


A lone figure scurried in the alley behind the saloon. He still
could not believe what he had just seen. Jack Wolfe smiled as he
realized that he now had the perfect ammunition to destroy Adam
Cartwright. Adam would live to regret the day that he crossed the
path of Jack Wolfe.

As he sat by the fire with a book in hand, Ben found that he had
trouble concentrating on reading. The storm outside was relentless as
the rains poured from the heavens. The thunder and lightening
conversed with each other in the darkened sky. Ben knew that Adam
would resent him for waiting for his safe return. However, he decided
that he would risk the wrath of his oldest son just to have the
assurance that he was all right. Hearing a horse approach, Ben arose
and went out onto the front porch. He sighed a breath of relief as he
saw Adam take Beauty into the barn. He quickly ran towards the barn
to see if Adam needed any help. "Are you okay, son?"

Adam nodded as he took the saddle off of his horse. "I’m just soaked,
Pa. I’ll feel a lot better once I get some dry clothes on."

As Adam started to lift the saddle to place it on the nearby stall,
he winced as his ribs protested the action. This did not go unnoticed
by his pa. "Are you sure about that?"

Slightly winded, Adam answered. "Well, at least I think so."

Ben took the saddle from Adam. "Go on inside and get changed. I’ll
take care of Beauty." He could tell from his son’s expression that he
was about to protest, but thought better of it when the young man
realized that this was not a battle worth arguing. Ben watched his
son move slowly towards the house. He made a mental note to check
about Adam’s ribs.

However, Ben was convinced that there was something else going on
with Adam. His independent minded son had not made one comment about
Ben staying up and waiting on him. Ben hurried and finished taking
care of Beauty and then made his way back to the house. When he
entered, he saw Adam wrapped up in a blanket, sitting by the fire.
His wet clothes were meticulously laid on the hearth to dry. "This
fire feels good, Pa. I’m glad you kept it going for me."

"You’re welcome, Adam. I think there is some coffee left; would you
like some?" Ben studied his son as he looked into the fire.

"No thanks, Pa. I’m gonna go on to bed. I’ll see ya in the morning."
Adam quietly opened the door to the bedroom and entered. He lay down
on his bed and pulled the covers up tightly around him. He closed his
eyes, but found that sleep would not come easily. His thoughts
returned to Shelby and the new feelings that had been awakened in
him. What had happened between him and Shelby was unexpected. He
could not deny how close they had become, but he found himself
searching his soul for how sincere their feelings had become.
Evidently the feelings were real enough that they both had acted upon
them. Adam sighed as he listened to the rain beat against the window
near his bed. He closed his eyes once again, hoping that tomorrow he
and Shelby would have a chance to talk and sort out their feelings
for one another.



The next morning, Jack Wolfe made his way over to the store that Eli
and Ruth operated. He had already started his day earlier by
spreading what he had witnessed the night before to the girls that
had worked for him. He knew that within a few hours, the whole town
would know about Adam and Shelby dancing and kissing in the saloon
last night. Now, he had to make sure that Ben would find out. There
was no better way to do so than to visit Eli and Ruth. He walked in
and tipped his hat to Ruth. "Good morning, Ruth. Good morning, Eli."

"It is rather early for you to be out and about, isn’t it Jack?" Eli asked,
always suspicious of the man’s intentions.

Jack laughed at the older man’s observation. "I guess it is, Eli.
However, there is something that I must take care of."

"What is that, Jack?"

"May I speak to you privately, Eli?"

Eli nodded as he motioned for Jack to follow him back to the storage
room. "What is it? It must be something of great interest to have you
coming in here."

"It is." Pausing for effect, Jack placed a hand on Eli’s shoulder. "I
accidentally stumbled upon something last night that I think could
mean serious trouble for Adam Cartwright."

"I see. You expect me to believe that you have Adam’s best interest
at heart?" Eli knew of Jack’s disdain for the Cartwrights, especially
the eldest son.

"No, but I do know that you do. I saw Adam and Shelby dancing and
kissing last night in the saloon. Everybody had pretty much cleared
out of town because of the storm and I was making one last check of
things when I saw them. I just thought maybe you would want to talk
to Ben and Adam before this thing escalates out of control." Not
giving Eli opportunity to respond, he walked out, leaving the older
man in his thoughts.

Eli knew that by nature Jack could not be trusted. However, he also
had learned to listen to his own instincts. He grabbed his hat and
went back up front to tell Ruth where he was going. "Ruth, I need to
ride out to Ben’s for a few moments. Can you handle things for a
while?"

"Of course, but Eli, there is something that you must know." She
pulled him close and whispered in his ear. "I’ve heard some customers
talking about Adam and Shelby…"

Placing his fingertips gently on her lips, he replied softly, "Don’t
say anything. I’m going to talk to Ben about this."

Ruth nodded and watched Eli walk out the door. Turning her attention
back to her customers, she tried to pretend not to hear the vicious
rumors that had apparently started. Many times, the tongue was a much
more dangerous weapon than a gun.



Having not slept well during the night, Adam was up early the next
morning. He quietly got dressed so he would not wake his brothers out
of their slumber. He went in the living room to get his boots from
where he had placed them on the hearth. Adam slipped them on and went
out to gather more firewood so Hop Sing could begin breakfast. The
cook still did not have much to say to Adam since he had begun
working for Shelby, but Adam had just resolved to give him time. As
he came back in the house, he was greeted by Ben. "Mornin’ Pa."

"You’re up early. Any particular reason?" Ben studied his son, trying
to ascertain if his son was all right.

"No, I just woke up early. I was just gathering some wood so Hop Sing
could start breakfast."

Ben nodded his approval. "All right, son. What are your plans today?"

"Nothing special. The usual chores around here and go into town later
on. Is there something you need me to do?"

"I thought you and I could ride up to the lumber camp and see how
things are progressing." Ben had not spent much time with his oldest
son lately. He truly desired to talk with Adam, just like they used
to.

"Sure Pa. I’ll get our horses saddled up." Adam went towards the
barn as Ben turned to the sound of his other sons making their way
into the living room.

"Mornin’ Pa," said Hoss in his usual cheerful tone. "Is breakfast
ready?"

"Not quite. You boys go ahead and get started on your chores and Hop
Sing will call you when it’s ready."

"But Pa, you expect us to work on an empty stomach?" Hoss looked at
his pa with pleading eyes.

"Yes, I do. Now get to it." Ben ushered his sons out the door.

"But Pa," replied Little Joe, "I need the extra energy, Adam kept me
awake by his tossin’ and turnin.’"

"You mean Adam had trouble sleeping last night?" Ben asked with
concern evident in his voice. "He didn’t mention it this morning."

"Well, between his tossin’ and Hoss’ snorin’, it’s a wonder that
anybody got any sleep." Joe ran outside behind Hoss leaving Ben to
wonder about what had been bothering Adam so much that it had
disturbed his sleep.

Within an hour, Hop Sing had called them all to the table for
breakfast. Hoss and Joe raced in and sat down, immediately passing
the plates between them. Adam and Ben took their places and watched
the two youngest Cartwrights in amazement. Ben cleared his throat
causing Joe and Hoss to pause. "Don’t you think we should say grace
first?"

"Sorry Pa," Little Joe and Hoss apologized in unison.

"Adam, please ask grace."

As everyone bowed their heads, a soft knock came at the door. Adam
looked at his pa, "Are you expecting anyone?"

Ben shook his head. "See who it is, son."

Adam walked over and opened the door to find Eli standing before
him. "Eli, come in."

"Thank you Adam. Is your father here?" Eli had tried to think of an
easy way to broach the subject of the rumors regarding the oldest son.

"Yes sir. Pa, it’s Eli." Adam retuned to his seat as Ben came over
to greet his long time friend.

"Eli, it’s good to see you! What brings you out here? Is Ruth all
right?"

"I need to talk to you, Ben."

"Of course. Won’t you join us?" Ben pulled out another chair and
motioned for Eli to sit down.

"No thank you. I need to speak with you in private." Eli could not
help but fix his eyes on Adam as he spoke. "Perhaps Adam should join
us."

Ben nodded his approval as the three men walked out to the barn where
they were afforded some privacy. Joe and Hoss got up from the table
and ran for the door but found their path blocked by Hop Sing. He
directed them back to the table and joined them for breakfast to make
sure they did not follow their father and brother.



In the barn, Adam and Ben stood side by side, waiting for Eli to
begin. "Ben...Adam...there are some rumors going around town and I
think that you should be aware of them."

"Rumors? What kind of rumors?" Ben asked. He was not sure if he
truly wanted to know the answer to his question.

Eli stood tall and looked Ben square in the eye. "About Adam and
Shelby. Jack Wolfe said that he saw them kissing in the saloon last
night. Now, this rumor has spread all over town."

Ben glared at his oldest son. "Adam? Do you know why Jack would
spread such a rumor?

Adam returned his father’s gaze, determined not to be
intimidated. "It’s not a rumor. I did kiss her last night."

"You what?" Ben felt his control start to slip when his son did not
deny the rumor.

"I said that I did kiss her..."

"Go inside. I’ll deal with you in minute." Adam turned and walked
back in the house, slamming the front door as he entered. Ignoring
the curious eyes of his brothers, he went to the bedroom and slammed
that door as well. All he could do was wait for the wrath of his pa
to descend upon him.



Back in the barn, Ben was questioning Eli as to exactly what he had
been told. Eli told his friend what Jack had said and what others
were saying around town. It seemed that everybody knew about Adam
and Shelby. "Thank you for coming out and telling me about this
Eli. I will take care of it."

"I did not wish to get Adam into trouble," Eli replied.

"You didn’t. He did that himself. I should have put a stop to this
a long time ago." Ben walked toward the house, attempting to
maintain control of his precarious temper, as he prepared to go and
have a serious discussion with his oldest son.

Ben walked in the house and slammed the door just as Adam had moments
earlier. He addressed his younger sons in a tone that they
immediately recognized. It was the tone that usually was reserved
for when one of them were in serious trouble. Hoss and Little Joe
were grateful that they were not the ones that Pa was angry
at. "Boys, I need you to go outside and do your chores."

"Are ya gonna yell at Adam?" Little Joe’s natural curiosity was a
constant hunger that needed to filled.

Ben looked at his youngest, trying in vain to hide the anger in his
expression. "I hope it doesn’t come to that, Little Joe." He
watched Hoss and Joe quickly rise from the table and make their way
out towards the barn. Ben turned and went in the bedroom to find
Adam sitting on his bed. "So, how far has this thing gone?"

"Does it matter? Will you believe what I tell you or are you gonna
listen to the rumors that seem to be going around town?"

"I’m giving you a chance to explain." Ben leaned against the door
with his arms crossed, waiting for an explanation from his eldest son.

"You’ve already made up your mind. There’s no use talking to you
when you’re like this."

"I suggest you watch your attitude young man. I’m still your father
and you are still under my roof. Now, I’m waiting."

"Fine. You want to know what happened? We kissed and that’s all."

"One kiss?"

Adam shook his head. "No, we’ve kissed twice."

"So, what brought on this sudden attraction between you two?" Shelby
and Adam were of two different worlds. Adam had a certain sense of
integrity instilled in him from a very young age. Although he liked
Shelby as a person, she was not right for his son.

"I guess it has been coming on for a while."

"How long is a while, Adam?"

Adam stood up and walked over to his father. The anger and
frustration was evident in his voice. "I’m not sure why we are even
having this conversation, Pa. You either believe me or you don’t.
I’m responsible for my actions and the decisions that I make."

"Don’t you raise your voice to me!" Ben was well aware that his own
temper was about to match that of his son’s. "You may think that
you’re old enough to do what you want, but I have news for you son--
you’re not. So let me tell you how it’s going to be, Adam. You will
no longer be working in the saloon, nor will you go anywhere near it
or Shelby when we have to go to town."

"Pa! That’s not fair. You can’t dictate who I can see and who I
can’t. I’m a grown man and I can do what I want. I promised you
that I would do the things I needed to do at the ranch and I’ve kept
up my end of the deal. What I do on my own time is my business."

"Not when it affects my reputation!" Ben immediately regretted the
words that had come out of his mouth.

"That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Ben Cartwright can’t have his
oldest son involved with the saloon owner. That wouldn’t look good,
would it, Pa?"

"That’s not the point, Adam. You’re twenty one years old..."

"That’s right Pa. I’m twenty one years old and I think I have earned
the right to live my own life." Neither Adam nor Ben was attempting to rein
in their tempers as they continued their heated discussion.

"Adam, you do not need to be involved with an older woman, much less
someone like..."

For the second time, Adam interrupted his pa. "Like Shelby? Tell me
Pa, when did you become so prejudiced?"

"I’m not. I’m just trying to keep my pig headed son from ruining his
life." Ben massaged his temple in an effort to ease the headache
that was making its presence known.

"I think that is my choice."

"No! I never would have thought my oldest son would be so selfish.
I can’t believe that you are putting your own desires above the needs
of this family. Why don’t you think about how your actions and these
rumors are going to affect your brothers?" Ben knew that he had
played his trump card when he mentioned Hoss and Joe. Adam had
always served as the protector of his younger brothers; fulfilling a
promise that he had made to both Inger and Marie.

"How dare you use them against me! I would never do anything to hurt
them. I’ve done nothing but care for them since the day they were
born. I’ve had to be their brother, their mother, and sometimes
their father. When I do something for myself, you have the gall to
throw them in my face! I think this discussion is over." Adam
opened the door to leave the bedroom but was pulled back by his pa’s
firm grip on his arm.

"You’re not going anywhere until we come to an understanding, young
man." Ben firmly closed the door as he maintained his iron grip on his
son.

Before Adam could reply, a knock on the bedroom door provided a brief
reprieve from the argument between father and son. "Who is it?" Ben
growled.

"Uh, Pa? It’s me, Hoss. Miss Sterret’s outside...she wants to see
Adam." Hoss stood back from the door as Ben flung it open.

"Hoss, stay with your brother and make sure he doesn’t leave. Do
what you have to do to keep him here." Ben didn’t wait for Hoss to
respond as he made his way outside.

Adam started to follow but Hoss was still in the
doorway. "Uh...Adam..."

"Hoss, get out of the way. I’m not gonna let Shelby face Pa’s wrath
alone."

"I can’t do that Adam. I don’t want to have to knock ya out; please
just stay put." Adam did not wish to place his brother in an awkward
situation so he went and opened the window near his bed in hopes of
hearing the conversation between Shelby and his pa. However, he knew
that if things got out hand, even Hoss wouldn’t be able to stop him
from defending Shelby against his pa’s wrath.




Ben walked out on the porch as Shelby approached the house. "Mornin’
Ben."

He nodded as he replied in a cool clipped tone. "Shelby."

"Is Adam here?"

"He’s inside. What do you need him for?" It was a tremendous
effort for Ben to control the anger in his voice.

"Well Ben, I guess that’s between Adam and me." Shelby wished that
she had one of her cigars at the moment, but she was trying to give
them up. She had left the cigars back at the saloon in Eagle
Station.

"If you want to speak to him, you’ll tell me what it’s about." Ben
moved in front of the door so emphasize the fact that Shelby could
not go enter the house without his permission.

"Like I said Ben, my business is with Adam, not you."

"I’m his father. I have every right to know what is going on with my
son. Evidently, here lately, I haven’t been privileged to a lot of
things pertaining to him."

Shelby sighed in frustration. "I guess you’ve heard the rumors
too."

"Oh, yes. Imagine my surprise when Adam didn’t deny them."

"He didn’t? You mean he admitted..."

"Yes, Shelby. He denied nothing." Ben watched a mixture of surprise
and relief came over Shelby’s face.

"I’ve never had anyone stand up for me like that before." Shelby
stood tall as she reined her emotions back inside the shell that was
part of her hidden personality. "Ben, I really need to see him."

"Why? What are you going to tell him?"

"We just need to talk about some things. It’s nobody’s business,
except for me and Adam."

"You see Shelby, that’s where you are wrong. I’m his father,
therefore it is my business. Now, if you want to talk to him, I will
have to remain in the room. I’ve been left in the dark for too
long. If I had known that this is where the two of your were headed,
I would have put a stop to it a long time ago."

"What I have to say to Adam is private..."

"If you can’t say it in front of me, then you won’t have the
opportunity to say it at all. Good day, Shelby." Ben turned to walk
back inside the house, hoping that Shelby would just ride away out of
his son’s life.

"Fine. Have it your way, Ben." Shelby followed him inside and
waited as she watched Ben go towards the bedrooms.

He opened the bedroom door and motioned for Hoss to go back
outside. "Shelby wants to talk to you. I told her the only way that
I would allow it is if I were present. She agreed to my terms."

Adam turned to face Ben, his emotions hiding behind the walls that he
had so carefully constructed over the years. Without saying a word
to his father, he walked out into the living room. His face lit up
as he saw Shelby waiting for him. "Shelby, it’s good to see you."

"You too," she replied softly. "Adam, we gotta talk..."

Adam nodded nervously and gestured for Shelby to sit down. "Can I
get you anything? Something to drink or eat?"

"No, Adam. I appreciate it and all, but I think we need to talk
about some things." Shelby fiddled with the fringe on her coat as
she attempted to gather her thoughts.

Adam pulled up a chair beside her and gently placed his hand on her
arm. "You know that you can tell me anything." He silently prayed
that the rumors and innuendos had not changed Shelby’s feelings for
him. It had taken many years for Adam to be willing to open his
heart to anyone. He had allowed Shelby to do what no one else had
been able to do, not since Isabella. After Isabella had left and
returned to Mexico, he had vowed to guard his heart more carefully
and not give it so freely. The time he had spent with Shelby had
given him the courage to break down the wall that had surrounded his
heart.

"I know that, Adam. I can’t tell ya what the past few months have
meant to me. Ya made me see things and feel things that I ain’t
allowed myself to feel for a long time. But..." Shelby looked into
the eyes of the man sitting beside her, knowing what she must do but
lacking the courage to do it.

Adam shook his head. "There are no buts, Shelby. I know that what
happened last night was unexpected, but you can’t deny that we’ve
been slowly working up to it for a long time. Don’t let what people
say influence your decisions."

"Adam, I can’t let ya do this. I can’t let ya throw away your life
on me. I mean you’re goin’ to college and everything. I ain’t gonna
stand in your way." Shelby swallowed hard, determined to fight back
the tears that were threatening to escape.

"It seems like you’ve made up your mind. However, you’re forgetting
that I should have a say in this as well."

Ben moved closer to Adam and placed a firm hand on his
shoulder. "Actually, I think that between the two of you, Shelby is
the only one that is exhibiting any sense at all about this
situation that you are in."

Adam glared at his father, his jaw clenched tightly in an effort to
control his wavering emotions. "Pa, I’d appreciate it if you’d stay
out of this."

"No, Adam. I think that you need to listen to what Shelby has to
say." Even though Ben truly did not want to see Adam hurt, he knew
that ending the relationship between him and Shelby before it
escalated further was the right thing to do.

"Pa, please just leave it alone. This is between me and Shelby."
Adam turned his attention back to Shelby. He could tell that she was
still wrestling with the demons of the past and the present as she
once again gathered her reserves of strength to finish what she
started.

"Adam, don’t make this any harder than it is. Let’s face it, you’re
twenty one and I’m...older than you. You’re going to college and I
run a saloon. I sure as heck ain’t no lady that is worthy of being
seen with the likes of you, Adam."

"Shelby, I think I’m old enough to decide with whom I want to be
seen with. I’m not ashamed to be seen with you, you’re my friend and
I thought that we were ready to take things beyond simple
friendship." As Adam spoke, the walls began to erect themselves back
in place. His mind silently admonished him for allowing anyone to
become close to heart.

Shelby stood up and made her way to the door. "It just won’t work
Adam! I’m sorry if I led ya to believe otherwise. We can never be
together, can’t ya see that? We’re too different; we come from two
different worlds."

Adam followed her, not yet willing to admit defeat. "You don’t even
want to try? I don’t understand, Shelby. Why the change of heart? I
thought that last night was a new beginning."

"You thought wrong, Adam. I can’t live with the rumors and the
stares. I have to live in Eagle Station and I’ve got to make a
livin’. I can’t do that--I’m not that strong."

"Yes, you are. You’ve overcome greater obstacles than this. Along
with beauty, you have tremendous inner strength. Call upon that
strength once again and at least give us a chance to see where this
goes."

"I can’t Adam. I’m sorry. You’re a very special person and someday,
the right woman will come along for you. I’m not her and I could
never be what ya need."

"All I’ve ever expected from you is to be yourself. Please,
Shelby..." Adam leaned down and brushed her lips with his. "Don’t
walk away."

Wanting nothing more than to be lost in his embrace and his
passionate kisses, Shelby reluctantly pulled away from him. "I’m
sorry. We were both foolish to even think we could have something
between us. I hope one day, you’ll forgive me." She turned and went
out the front door. Adam watched her as she mounted her horse and
galloped off in the direction of Eagle Station.

Ben came over to his oldest son and stood just behind him. Adam did
not even turn around to acknowledge his presence. "I guess you’re
happy. We won’t have to worry about tarnishing the Cartwright name."

"I’m sorry son, but it’s for the..."

"The best, Pa? Is that what you were going to say? It’s for the
best? I guess you’re right, Pa. You’re always right." Adam walked
out of the house and towards the barn.

Ben followed close behind, grabbing Adam’s arm, he wheeled his son
around to face him. "We’re not through, here. There are still some
things we have to discuss."

Adam jerked his arm free from Ben’s tight grasp. The sudden
movement forced him to wince as the pain from his broken rib served
as a reminder that he was not in top physical form at the moment.
Ben put his arms around his son’s shoulders and helped him over to a
nearby chair. "Adam? Son, are you okay?"

"I’ll be okay in a minute." He cradled his ribs with his arms,
wishing the pain would subside quickly. Adam truly wanted nothing
more than to get away by himself for a while where he could think
without any interruptions or distractions.

"Let me check your ribs," Ben replied softly, his tone was calm and
soothing.

"I told you that I’m okay." Adam stood up, hiding the pain and
discomfort that he was in. "I’m going out riding."

Frustrated by his oldest son’s behavior, Ben released the breath
that he had inadvertently been holding. "Don’t go into town."

Adam turned and walked out, his silence speaking volumes to his pa.
The chasm between them had become so deep that he did not know if
things would ever be the same between them. He watched his son
mount up on Beauty and ride off in a fast gallop. Little Joe and
Hoss slowly approached the house. Hoss cleared his throat in an
effort to get his father’s attention. "Pa? Where’s Adam going?"

"I don’t know," Ben simply answered.

"When’s he comin’ back?" Little Joe asked nervously.

Ben looked at his other two sons standing before him, their eyes
full of confusion. "I don’t know that either. You boys better get
going before you’re any later than you already are. Give your
teacher my apologies for your tardiness." Ben walked outside to the
barn and saddled his own horse, deciding that he would go into town
and see for himself what people were saying about his son and Shelby.



Adam finally slowed his horse down to a leisurely walk as he got
further away from the ranch. He made his way towards a rocky cliff
overlooking one of the most beautiful sites on the Ponderosa.
Beyond the rocks, there was a meadow that looked like a sea of green
with wisps of brown and yellow floating about. The sea washed
ashore on the mountains of the Sierra’s where snow capped tops
ascended into the clouds. It was one of Adam’s favorite places; a
place of refuge that he would often seek out when the
responsibilities that had been put upon him became too much.
However, today he was not alone in his quest for solitude. He
immediately recognized the lone figure standing close to the edge of
the cliff. He quietly dismounted and tethered his horse to a
sapling. As Adam grew closer, his heart beat grew louder as he
recognized Shelby standing before him. "How did you know about this
place?"

Shelby startled at the sound of his voice. "Dadburnit Adam! Ya
scared me to death."

"I’m sorry; I just didn’t expect anyone else to be up here. Why are
you here?"

"Ya told me about this place one time. I just wanted to see if it
was a perfect as ya described it to be." She turned back around
and looked across the meadow mainly so she wouldn’t have to look at
Adam’s face, etched with the pain that she had caused him.

"I remember now. So, what do you think?" He moved closer to her,
forcing her to look at him.

"You were right. It is beautiful."

"Seeing you here adds to the beauty of it."

Shelby blushed as she once again turned away from the young man. He
eased up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Did you
mean what you said?"

"Adam, I’m sorry. It won’t work." Shelby knew that without the
presence of Ben Cartwright, her defenses would weaken. She had
originally come to the ranch to tell Adam how much last night had
meant to her. However, when she saw the anger on Ben’s face, she
knew that she could not allow the relationship to go any farther.

"Why do you keep saying that? You can’t say something won’t work
unless you give it a chance. You haven’t given us a chance. Did I
do or say something to drive you away? Tell me what I’ve done and
I’ll make it right."

She turned to face him as his arms embraced her. She reached up and
gently caressed his cheek. "Why do ya always think that everything
is your fault? Adam, I…"

He gently placed his fingers over her lips. Leaning down, he gently
kissed her. She felt her defenses being slowly torn down as he
poured out his heart to her in a tender kiss. Their lips parted for
a brief moment as they stared into each other’s eyes. Adam embraced
her once again and pulled her close as he whispered in her
ear. "Please don’t do this, Shelby."

Shelby didn’t trust her voice to answer his plea. She stayed in the
safety of his arms for what seemed to be an eternity. Reluctantly,
she pulled away from him. "I’ve gotta get going."

Before Adam could respond, their peaceful encounter was interrupted
by the sound of horses coming through the woods. Jack Wolfe and
several of his hired men broke through the dense foliage and
surrounded Shelby and Adam. Jack smiled as he tipped his hat, "Good
morning. What have we here? A secret rendezvous?"

Adam stepped in front of Shelby. "What do you want, Jack?"

"I was out for a morning ride and I thought I heard voices. I
thought someone may be in trouble."

"You know that you’re not welcome on the Ponderosa. I suggest you
leave," Adam demanded.

"Actually, I was coming out to offer my sympathies to your father.
It must be so humiliating to discover that your oldest son is
involved with an older woman who owns a saloon."

Before Jack realized what had happened, Adam had pulled him off of
his horse and had knocked him to the ground with a single hit. Adam
was quickly surrounded by the men that were escorting Jack. He was
immediately restrained by two of them as Jack slowly rose off the
ground. "You’re going to regret that, Cartwright. I think it’s
past time that I taught you a lesson."

"Leave him alone!" Shelby screamed at Jack.

"I can’t do that. He has to learn some respect." Restraining
Shelby, Jack turned to his men. "You may begin. Be sure that he
learns his lesson well."

Adam struggled against the men, but his efforts were in vain as the
four men descended upon him. The first blow to his stomach doubled
him over as he felt his ribs cry out in protest. The men who
tormented him seemed to take sheer pleasure in causing him pain.
It did not take long for Adam to reach a point where he could no
longer struggle. His eyes were swollen shut; he could feel the
blood streaming from his nose and various cuts on his face. His jaw
was sore and possibly broken; however, it was difficult to tell.
Adam fell to the ground as he tried to curl up to protect his ribs,
but this action was in vain as he was repeatedly kicked in the
stomach and the chest. The only thing that Adam could hear was
Shelby’s pleas for the beating to stop. It seemed that the more
she begged and pleaded, the harder the blows that were dealt to him.

Adam thought that it was over when there was a reprieve from the
attack. He heard someone kneel beside him and yank his head
up. "Have you learned your lesson, boy?" Jack asked; his voice
laced with evil and malice. "Somehow, I don’t think so." Adam felt
the blows rein down upon his back as he heard Shelby begin to scream
once again. One blow high upon his back also connected with his
head and Adam’s world faded to darkness.

Jack threw down the branch that he had used to complete the lesson
he had wanted to teach Adam Cartwright. The men holding Shelby
released her and she ran to Adam’s side. Jack mounted his horse and
smiled down at Shelby. "If you had listened to me in the first
place and sold out to me, none of this would have happened. You
just remember that, Shelby. This is your fault."

Jack and his men rode off, leaving Shelby and Adam alone. She
gently tried to shake Adam to see if he could be awakened. Afraid
to move him, she knew that she had to go and get some help. She
went to her saddle and grabbed her bedroll. Shelby covered Adam up,
tucking the sides in so that he would stay warm. She knew that she
was closer to town and that she would be able to get help for Adam
there. "I’ll be back as soon as I can, Adam. Please…just hang
on." She mounted her horse and took off towards town, silently
praying that she could bring help in time to save Adam’s life.

Ben Cartwright tethered his horse and made his way into the store,
ignoring the whispers and stares of the townsfolk of Eagle
Station. Eli looked up to see what caused the awkward silence to
cast itself over the store. Eli could tell by the expression on his
friend’s face that things had not gone well with his oldest
son. "Ben? I didn’t expect to see you in town today."

"I hadn’t planned on coming into town, but I needed to take care of
some things." Ben walked up to the counter where he could talk with
Eli more privately. He lowered his voice as he leaned forward
slightly, "It seems that my son is the talk of the town."

"I’m sorry, Ben. I know that this is difficult. That’s why I
wanted you to know before you came into Eagle Station. How did
things go with Adam?"

"Not well. When it comes to stubbornness, my oldest son sure wins
the prize."

"Just remember that he gets it honest, my friend." Eli had watched
Adam become a fine young man, but also knew that he was very much
like his father.

"So I’ve been told. It’s just that I don’t want him to get hurt.
He has had more pain and hurt in his lifetime than most." Ben knew
that all Adam had been through in his life had made him into the man
he was. However, Ben was not yet ready to let Adam face the world
on his own.

"You must be careful that you don’t hurt him more by trying to
protect him. Sometimes a young man has to make his own mistakes in
order to grow."

Before Ben could reply, his attention was diverted by Shelby as she
ran into the store. "Somebody help me! Please! He’s going to die."

Ruth came over and grabbed Shelby by the shoulders. "You must calm
down, Shelby. Who’s going to die?"

"Adam. He’s hurt real bad, Ruth. I was afraid to move him so I
came for help." Shelby felt herself being jerked out of Ruth’s
grasp and was now face to face with Ben Cartwright.

"What do you mean Adam’s hurt? Where is he?" Ben demanded, his
voice laced with fear and concern.

"I’ll take ya to him." Shelby wiped away her tears with the back of
her hand. Ignoring the stares, she made her way out of the store
and mounted her horse.

Ben climbed in the buckboard and yelled back to Eli, who had
followed them out. "Eli, please ride back out to the ranch and tell
Hop Sing that Adam has been hurt and to be ready." Without waiting
for a reply, he followed Shelby as they began to make their way back
to Adam. Ben silently prayed that he was not too late.



Shelby was thankful that Ben happened to be at the store when she
arrived in town. If anyone could help Adam, it would be his
father. She silently vowed that if God would allow Adam to live,
she would stay out of his life and not cause him any further pain.
Jack and his men had beaten Adam in an effort to punish her. Jack
Wolfe had plainly told her that if she had sold out, none of this
would have happened—and he was right.

She slowed her horse as she neared the path that would lead them
back to Adam. Once she helped Ben get him to the Ponderosa, she
would leave Adam in the capable hands of his family and Hop Sing.
Shelby only seemed to bring pain to the young man’s life. Adam had
a bright future ahead of him; she hoped that he would live to enjoy
it.

As she came upon the still form of Adam, she reined her horse to a
stop, dismounted, and quickly made her way over to where he lay.
Ben was close behind with a canteen of water in his hand. He knelt
beside his son and glanced at Shelby. "Is this how he was when you
left him?"

Shelby could not find her voice to speak, so she simply nodded.

Being as careful as he could, Ben slowly turned Adam over on his
back. Adam moaned but did not open his eyes. "Adam? Adam? Can
you hear me? It’s Pa." Ben poured some water in hand and patted
Adam’s face and swollen lips in an effort to wash away some of the
blood and grime. Ben then began to feel for broken bones, pausing
as he came to his ribs.

"He broke one the other night, when he was jumped." Shelby could
not take her eyes off of Adam.

"What?" Ben did not know that Adam had been attacked and he knew
that he could not keep the surprise out of his voice. "There seems
to be a lot going on I don’t know about. Now isn’t the time to
discuss it. We’re going to have to move him very carefully and
slowly. Can you carry his legs?"

Shelby nodded as she carefully placed her arms under his legs. Ben
got under his arms and together they carried him to the buckboard.
Adam moaned once again as he was lowered into the buckboard. "I
know it hurts son. I’m sorry, but we have to get you back to the
ranch." He turned his attention back to Shelby. "Tie the horses to
the back; you’ll need to ride with Adam just in case he wakes up."

Shelby quickly tied her and Adam’s horses to the back of the
buckboard and climbed in beside Adam. "We’re ready."

Ben wanted to force the horses to hurry back to the ranch, but he
did not want to risk further injuring Adam. The team maintained a
slow trot towards the Ponderosa as they seemed to understand the
importance of their precious cargo. Ben knew that Adam was in
serious condition. He did not take the time to try and completely
evaluate his injuries because he knew that time was of the essence.
When he saw that Adam was being taken care of, he would then find
out the answers to the questions that were constantly nagging at him.



As they pulled into the ranch, Hop Sing and Eli ran out to the
buckboard to greet them. "How is he, Ben?" Eli asked.

"Not good. Have you got everything ready?" Ben reached down and
gathered Adam’s upper body in his arms as Eli and Hop Sing each took
a leg.

"We set your room up," Hop Sing said as they carried Adam towards
the house.

The three men gently laid Adam on the bed. Hop Sing turned to the
two other men, "I will tend to Adam; will call you if I need you."

"No," Ben said firmly. "I’m staying with Adam. I won’t get in your
way."

Knowing that there was no time to argue, Hop Sing merely nodded and
began to cut away Adam’s clothing so he could see the damage that
had been done. He heard Ben inhale sharply as he saw the massive
bruising on his son. As Hop Sing thoroughly examined Adam, he tried
to maintain a stoic face so as not to worry Ben. However, Ben could
see past the façade that Hop Sing was trying to hide behind. "Hop
Sing? What is it? I want the truth."

"Adam hurt badly. Ribs broken but no puncture lung; has
bleeding inside; must be stopped. Bruises on back are bad. Painful
to touch. Head is hurt. Bad that he has not woke up."

Ben swallowed back the sob that threatened to escape. "Can you stop
the bleeding?"

"Father have cure to help bleeding. Special herbal tea. Will
consult father’s writings." Ben nodded his consent as Hop Sing
pulled up the covers on the bed to cover Adam.

As Hop Sing left the room, Ben sat down beside his son and brushed a
stray piece of hair out of his face. He noticed how pale and drawn
Adam looked—he looked like the boy that he used to know that had
traveled with him thousands of miles to reach his dream. "Adam?
Adam? Son, please wake up. There’s so much I need to say to you.
Please, just wake up for a few minutes." Ben closed his eyes as the
tears flowed down his cheek. "You’ll be okay. I promise."

Eli knocked softly on the doorframe. "Ben? Is there anything else
I can do?"

"No thank you, Eli. All we can do now is pray. I think Hop Sing
has been trying to spare me the sordid details of his injuries.
I…" Ben’s voice broke as he found that he could not continue.

Eli wished that he could do something more for his friend. "Ben,
Ruth and I will do anything we can to help you all through this."

Ben nodded as he fixed his eyes on his battered son. "I know, Eli.
Is Shelby still here?"

"She’s out on the porch. Would you like me to send her in?"

"Yes, please." Ben never looked away from Adam as Eli left and
Shelby entered the room, hesitation in her steps. "Shelby, please
come in."

"Ben, I’m sorry. This is all my fault," Shelby said as she studied
the face that had so often smiled at her.

"Shelby, can you tell me what happened?" Ben’s eyes gazed upon
Shelby as he waited for her to answer his question.

"It was Jack Wolfe and some of his men. I guess ya could say that
Adam stood up for me and they started to beat him. They wouldn’t
stop. I kept beggin’ them to, but they didn’t. He tried to fight
back but he was outnumbered." Shelby made no effort to keep her
tears at bay as she continued. "They left and I knew that I
couldn’t move him without some help, so I came to town for help."

"I’m…I’m glad you were there for him, Shelby," Ben replied softly.

"If it hadn’t been for me, he wouldn’t be here lyin’ in this bed."
Shelby turned and ran out of the room nearly colliding with Hop
Sing. She nodded to her former servant, "Take care of him."
Without waiting for an answer, she mounted her horse and rode hard
towards town.

Ben stood up as Hop Sing entered the room, carrying a cup of
tea. "Must make him drink. Needs to drink one cup of this an
hour. You start forcing tea, and I will bandage wounds." Ben
nodded as he gently raised Adam’s head and began to force the tea
down. "You may need to make him swallow; stroke his throat
gently." Hop Sing stopped bandaging and demonstrated to Ben the
technique he was talking about.

Hop Sing finished bandaging Adam’s cuts but did not bind his ribs.
He did not want to bind them until he was certain that the internal
bleeding had stopped. He watched Ben give Adam small sips of
tea. "It will take an hour just to get one cup in him," Ben said.

"We must keep trying." Hop Sing turned quietly and went to prepare
another cup of tea, leaving Ben to take care of his son.

Ben set the cup on the nearby table and watched the rise and fall of
Adam’s chest. A slight moan escaped from the young man’s
lips. "Adam?"

"No…," the hoarse voice whispered.

Ben moved closer to his hurting son. "Adam? It’s Pa. Come on son,
wake up."

"Hurts…" Adam winced as he turned his head slightly towards Ben’s
voice.

"I know it does son. You’re home and we’re gonna take good care of
you." Ben squeezed Adam’s hand gently to reassure his son that he
was there.

"Ma?"

"No Adam, its Pa. Do you remember what happened?" Ben anxiously
waited for his oldest son to respond.

"No…where’s Ma? Hoss? Joe? Are they okay?" Adam’s words slurred
together as darkness came to claim him once again.

"Adam! No son, you have to stay awake! Adam!" Ben sat back down
beside Adam as Hop Sing brought in more tea. "He was awake for a
moment. He was asking about Marie."

"Comes from head injury. Maybe memory get better when stronger."
Hop Sing knew from his father’s teachings that head injuries were
difficult to predict a certain outcome. "Brothers will be home
soon. I will go and prepare supper."

As Ben continued to sit by Adam’s side, his thoughts drifted back to
the conversation that he had with Shelby. She was truly worried
about his son and he was grateful to her for help. However, he still
did not believe that Adam being involved with her was in his best
interests. Shelby had said that Jack Wolfe and his men attacked
Adam. Ben whispered aloud to no one in particular, "Jack Wolfe did
this to my son. I will make sure that he pays…"

When Hoss and Joe rode up to the house, they could immediately sense
that something was amiss. Dismounting and tethering their horses, the
two brothers ran in the house, looking about for anything out of the
ordinary. Hop Sing met them as they entered the door. "Must be quiet.
Brother is hurt. Father is in bedroom with him."

"Adam’s hurt? What happened? Is he gonna be all right?" Hoss and Joe
besieged Hop Sing with questions.

"Father will answer questions. Enter room quietly." Hop Sing opened
the door to their pa’s bedroom. They slowly entered, their eyes
focused on Adam as he lay unmoving and deathly pale.

Ben looked up and nodded at Hop Sing, indicating for him to leave
Hoss and Joe with him. Joe ran into his waiting arms and buried his
face in Ben’s shoulders. "Pa, Adam’s gonna be all right, ain’t he?"

"I hope so, Little Joe. We have to pray and not lose faith. Adam is
very strong and we have to believe that he will pull through. He woke
up a little while ago, which was a good sign. We just have to be
patient." Ben hugged Little Joe close to him as Hoss slowly walked to
the other side of Adam’s bed.

Reaching down, Hoss took Adam’s hand in his. "Pa? Who did this to
him?"

Ben shook his head. He didn’t want to tell Hoss or Joe anything until
he was able to confront Jack Wolfe himself. If Hoss and Joe knew who
had hurt their brother, Ben would have a difficult time keeping them
from doing something rash. He already had one son fighting for his
life; he could not bear if anything happened to Hoss or Joe. "I don’t
know all the details yet. I want you boys to stay close to the house.
I’m going to need your help with Adam and around the ranch."

Both boys nodded in agreement. "You can count on us, Pa," Hoss
replied. "Pa? Why don’t you take a break? I’ll stay with Adam for a
while."

Ben handed Hoss a cup of tea. "Adam needs to drink this. Hop Sing
said that you may have to encourage him to swallow by stroking his
throat gently. He needs to drink all of it."

"Yes sir. I’ll see to it." Hoss gently lifted his brother’s head and
began to give him small sips of the tea. Ben watched for a moment and
then he and Joe left the room.

The aroma of stew filled the air as Ben and Joe walked into the next
room. "It smells delicious Hop Sing," Ben said, his voice etched with
a hint of fatigue.

Hop Sing bowed slightly. "Will be ready shortly. How is Adam?"

"Holding his own." He looked out the window to see Hoss and Joe’s
horses still tethered. "Joe, go bed down your horses and then get a
start on your chores. I’ll call you when supper is ready."

"Yes Pa." Joe made his way to the door, hesitating as he opened
it. "Pa? I’ll do Adam’s chores for him, too."

Ben smiled and nodded his approval at his youngest son. He knew that
Joe wanted to help Adam in some way, just as Hoss was. "That will be
fine, son." He watched Joe as he led the horses into the barn. His
thoughts drifted back to the last confrontation that he had with Adam
and guilt consumed him. He and Adam were so much alike, it was no
wonder that the two of them constantly clashed. Adam was now just
like Ben had been at his age; so full of ideas and a thirst for
knowledge. When did he lose that zeal? Had he quenched that same zeal
in Adam? When Adam recovered, Ben made a vow for them to sit down and
actually talk like they used to, when times seemed to be simpler.

"Pa?"

Ben turned at the sound of the voice to find Hoss peering out the
bedroom door. "What is it, son?"

"Adam’s awake. I thought you’d wanna know."

Ben walked back in the bedroom to find Adam moaning softly, calling
out to him. "Pa? Pa?"

"I’m right here son. Can I get you anything?"

"Where’s Ma and Joe?" Adam tried to open his eyes further, but closed
them tightly when the light became too much. "Hurts, Pa."

"I know it does." He leaned down closer to his son and spoke softly
to him. "Adam, I need you to listen to me for a minute. Do you
remember what happened?"

Ben could tell that Adam was searching his memory for an answer to
his pa’s question. "I…I…" Adam sighed in frustration. "No…was there
an accident?"

"No son. Just rest and get your strength back." He knew that the
conversation had completely exhausted his son.

"It hurts Pa. I can’t sleep." For Adam to admit that he was in pain,
made Ben realize that he could only imagine the depths of agony he
must be feeling.

"I’ll see if I can find something to help you." He went out to find
Hop Sing setting the dinner table. "He needs something for pain. Do
you have anything?"

Hop Sing nodded and momentarily came back, handing Ben a bottle of
whiskey. "Give him just a little. Have a special tea for pain but
can not give while he is bleeding."

Gratefully accepting the bottle, Ben went back into the bedroom.
Pouring a little in a glass, he gently sat down on the bed beside
Adam. "Here son, take a drink of this. It will help with the
pain." Ben lifted Adam’s head as he sipped the whiskey.

Adam pulled away, feeling the liquid burn as he swallowed. "No
more," he whispered. "Worse than that tea."

"I know, son. But I also know that Hop Sing knows what he’s doing." Ben
pulled the covers back over his son’s shoulders, being careful of his
bruises. He saw a puzzled look come over Adam’s face. "Son? What’s
wrong?"

"Hop Sing?" For the first time, Adam glanced around at his
surroundings, searching for something familiar. "Pa? Where are we?"

Ben’s eyes widened in fear as he realized that Adam had not been just
asking for Marie out of a state of delirium, he truly thought she was
alive. Ben silently gestured for Hoss to leave the two of them
alone. Hoss quietly slipped out of the room as Ben studied his
injured son for a moment. Adam’s eyes continued to wander around the
room, looking for something that would bring him comfort. It was a
difficult task to try and focus on anything with his vision blurred
and the relentless pounding in his head. Ben gently reached out and
turned Adam’s battered face towards him. "Adam? I need to know the
last thing you remember."

Adam closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on answering his father’s
question. "I...uh...racing Eric in that meadow, we were going to
have a picnic." As he slowly opened his eyes, he was able to discern
the look of worry on his pa’s face. "Pa? What’s wrong?"

"Adam, I just want you to rest. We’ll talk when you’re stronger."

"Pa? Please..." Adam tried to sit up but found the effort was in
vain as his pa gently restrained him. He laid back, his breath
coming in short gasps as the agony he felt was evident on his face.

"Adam? Adam? Please calm down. Rest and we’ll talk when you wake
back up. I promise." He saw Adam’s breathing start to level out as
he relaxed. He stroked back his son’s disheveled hair as he watched
Adam drift off to sleep. Ben stood up and walked over to the table
and sat down. Hop Sing had called Little Joe to supper, so both sons
were waiting patiently for their pa to emerge from the bedroom.

"Pa? Is everything all right?" Hoss asked, worry evident in the
young face.

"Adam is having some problems remembering some things. He’s sleeping
right now." Ben held his head in his hands and sighed. Joe and Hoss
watched their pa, wishing they could do something to help him. Ben
stood up suddenly and put on his hat and coat. "I’m going into
town. Hop Sing, would you please help Hoss and Joe look after Adam?"

"Yes. I would be honored. Boys will be great help to brother." Hop
Sing quietly slipped into the bedroom with another cup of tea.

Ben nodded his thanks and walked out the door. Joe looked at Hoss,
who had not even touched his dinner. "It’s bad, ain’t it Hoss?"

"Yeah, little brother, it’s bad." Hoss finally pushed back his plate
and got up from the table.

"Hoss, can I see Adam again?" Joe loved his oldest brother with a
passion and truly missed being near him. Adam had been the one that
he had leaned on after his ma had died. He had put aside his own
grief to console Joe and it was something that the youngest
Cartwright would ever forget.

"We’ll ask Hop Sing when he comes out. Let’s get these dishes washed
up and start on our homework. Don’t you worry none, Little Joe.
Everything will be all right." Hoss smiled at his younger brother,
hoping that Joe could not tell how worried he truly was.



Ben rode into town as the night was just coming to life. He had a
purpose and would not rest until his quest was complete. He saw the
object of his anger walking down the street towards his saloon. Ben
rode up and blocked Jack Wolfe’s path with his horse. Jack looked up
and smiled, "Good evening, Mr. Cartwright. How are you this fine
evening?"

Ben jumped from his horse, tackling Jack and knocking him to the
ground. "I’m fine, but my son isn’t!" Ben drew back his fist, but
found that his arm was being held. He looked around to find Eli
holding his wrist securely. "Eli! Let me go!"

"No Ben. Violence does not repay violence." Eli could feel the
tension in Ben’s body and see the anger raging in his eyes.

Ben stood up and allowed Jack to get up off the ground. As he dusted
himself off, Jack began to rant. "I don’t know what you think you’re
doing. I was minding my own business, coming from negotiations to
purchase Shelby’s saloon and I’m jumped by the likes of you."

"Why are you even walking around town? Why aren’t you locked up and
waiting for the judge?" Ben jerked his arm free from Eli’s grasp and
stood up so that he was face to face with Jack.

"What on earth for?" Jack asked, feigning surprise at the
accusations made by Ben.

"For nearly killing my son!" Ben yelled as curious townspeople began
to stop and stare and the drama unfolding.

"How ridiculous. I have been in town all day, seeing to my personal
business." Jack began to continue his trek towards his own saloon.

"I have a witness. Shelby saw you do it! She was there!"

Jack stopped and turned back to face the irate father. "If that is
the case, why hasn’t she come forward? Like I said, we’ve been in
negotiations, so she has had plenty of opportunity." He once again
walked away leaving Ben and Eli to stare after him.

Ben picked up his hat and decided that he was going to pay Shelby a
visit. Eli walked beside him, keeping up with his friend’s long
strides. "Ben? Where are you going now?"

"For someone who is supposed to care about Adam, she has a funny way
of showing it. I’m going to find out what’s going on." Ben walked
into Shelby’s saloon; the deafening sound of silence filled the air.
Shelby looked up from the bar and saw the fire in Ben Cartwright’s
eyes. He slowly walked up to the bar with Eli close behind him. "We
need to talk." Shelby simply nodded as they made their way to the
back room.

"How’s Adam?" Shelby asked, fear and worry evident in her voice.

"Not well at all. He finally woke up, but he can’t remember what
happened. In fact, there seems to be a lot of things that he can’t
remember. He still thinks Marie is still alive." He studied Shelby
for a moment, searching for answers to his questions. She had always
contained a certain charm that was truly unique to her personality.
Shelby was a survivor and a woman of independent means. Those were
characteristics that he knew would appeal to his oldest son. "I just
saw Jack Wolfe. He says that you are going to sell out to him.
Shelby, why are you doing this? He nearly kills Adam and instead of
having him arrested, you strike a business deal with the man."

"Ben, I know what I’m doin’," Shelby said.

"Then how about telling me? Right now, my son is lying in bed,
fighting for his life and you act like nothing has happened! I
thought you cared about him!" Ben knew that to get the information
that he wanted from Shelby, he would have to use her feelings for
Adam to do so.

"I do care about him! More than you know! That’s why I’m doin’ this!"
Shelby brushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she fought to
keep the tears from escaping. "Jack told me that if I said anything
that he would kill Adam the next time. He hates Adam with a passion
and I know that he’d do it. I ain’t brought Adam nothin’ but pain
since he started workin’ for me. I ain’t gonna cause him no more. I’m
gonna sell the place and leave Eagle Station. If Adam don’t remember
me, that’s good. You won’t have to worry about that none."

"Do you think that is fair to him?" Ben quietly asked.

"It’s what’s best for him. You and I both know that. He’s a good man,
Ben Cartwright. Ya did good in raisin’ him. Send him to college and
let him get that education that he wants." Shelby went to the safe
and opened it. She handed Ben some money and then closed it
back. "This here belongs to Adam. I didn’t get to pay him the other
night. He’s been savin’ for a while. I hope this helps."

"Shelby, listen to me. If you testify against Jack, he’ll go to
prison and he won’t threaten you or Adam again."

"Ben, don’t ya see? It’s my word against his. He already told me that
his four goons would back him up no matter what. Ain’t no judge gonna
take the word of a woman over five men."

Ben set the money down and grabbed Shelby by the shoulders. "Shelby,
Adam will get his memory back. He’ll testify as well. The two of you
can rid this town of the likes of Jack Wolfe."

Shelby smiled slightly. "I see where Adam gets his stubborn
persistence. What if he doesn’t get his memory back?"

"He will. I know he will. Please Shelby—do this for Adam. You know I
don’t approve of your relationship, but I know that you care about
him or you wouldn’t have been so willing to give him up." As Ben
pleaded for her help, he prayed that she would gather the courage to
step forward and do the right thing.

"Ben, I…" Shelby sighed, wondering how her life became so complicated
all of a sudden. When all she had to worry about was herself, she
would have killed Jack and his goons herself. Now, there was someone
else that she was constantly thinking about. Adam Cartwright had made
her aware of feelings and emotions that she had buried. He actually
treated her like a woman.

Ben could tell by her countenance that she was locked in an inner
struggle. "Shelby, I promise that I won’t let anything happen to you
or Adam. Jack Wolfe and his men have to pay for what they did to
Adam. If they get away with this, then what’s to stop them from doing
it again?"

"All right, Ben. I’ll do it. I can take care of myself; you go and
take care of Adam." Shelby hesitated as she made her way to the
door. "Ben, I was ready to tell Adam that it didn’t matter to me what
people said and that if he wanted to, we’d keep seein’ each other."

"What stopped you?"

"You did. The look in your eyes. I knew that I couldn’t come between
you two. I realized that I didn’t want Adam to give up his dreams for
someone like me. But it didn’t matter to him. He’s a good man and I
didn’t want to mess things up for him. I thought that if I let him
go, he’d forget about me and move on. Ben, if he doesn’t remember us,
maybe it’s a good thing. Just let him think of me as the saloon
owner. It will save us both a lot of heartache." Shelby turned to
leave but was stopped by Ben’s hand on her shoulder. "I gotta get
back to work."

"Shelby, thank you. I’ll go and get some men and hold Jack and his
men until we can get the judge here." Ben followed Shelby out to the
bar and made his way to the door as she returned to tending the bar.

Shelby watched Ben as he headed towards the livery, probably getting
Big Dan to come and help him take Jack and his men into custody. The
noise and laughter in the saloon did nothing to fill the breaking of
her heart. It had been a long time since she had let anyone get that
close to her and she silently vowed that it would never happen again.



Ben had gathered Eli and Big Dan and returned to Jack’s saloon. They
found him in a corner surrounded by a few of the girls that worked
for him. His four men that he hired for protection blocked the path
by stepping in front of the trio as they made their way towards Jack.
Grabbing two of the men, Big Dan knocked their heads together
rendering them unconscious. Eli and Ben threw swift punches to the
other two men, temporarily incapacitating them as well. Ben pulled
Jack out of his chair by his jacket and forced his hands behind his
back. While Ben secured Jack, Eli and Big Dan tied the hands of the
four men who worked for Jack.

"What is going on here?" Jack demanded.

"You’re under arrest until the judge gets here," Ben growled.

"Arrest for what?"

"As if you didn’t know. You’re under arrest for the attempted murder
of my son, Adam Cartwright." Ben dragged Jack out of his saloon and
shoved him up against the outside wall as he waited for Big Dan and
Eli to bring the other men out. "You’re going to pay for what you did
to my son."

"Do you have proof that I hurt your precious son?" Jack’s voice was
cold and menacing.

"You know I do. I swear that you will pay for what you did to him."
Ben shook in rage as he fought to maintain control over his
emotions. Big Dan stepped in between them, forcing Jack to walk
towards the building that was often used as a holding cell. Ben
followed behind, helping Eli with the other two men. Big Dan made
sure that each of the men was securely bound so there would be no
escape.

Ben shook the hands of his two friends. "Thank you so much for your
help. I’ll never forget this."

"You and your boys are like sons to me. I will do anything to help
my sons," Eli replied.

"You’d do the same for us," Big Dan returned his handshake firmly and
headed back towards Shelby’s saloon.

"I need to get back home to Adam." Ben walked towards his horse and
mounted him. He set off towards his home battling the guilt that was
beginning to plague him.



Hop Sing drew the covers back over Adam’s chest, satisfied with his
findings. The internal bleeding had slowed down to the point where
it was not life threatening. Hoss and Little Joe watched Hop Sing
with anxious eyes. "Well, Hop Sing?" Patience was not one of Little
Joe’s best qualities.

"Bleeding has slowed. Adam must remain still for several more days.
Brothers must keep him quiet." Hop Sing picked up the tray that had
contained the latest batch of tea and made his way towards the door.

"Don’t you worry, Hop Sing," Hoss said. "We’ll take real good care of
Adam."

Hoss and Joe sat in the chairs that were beside the bed and watched
their oldest brother sleep. Little Joe could no longer stand the
silence and decided that he would ask the question that had been
weighing on his mind. "Hoss? Do you think he’ll get his memory
back?"

"Of course he will," Hoss replied, hoping that he sounded more
convincing than he felt.

"I hope so. It must be awful not being able to remember things. Do
you think he’s scared?" Joe had always considered Adam to be the
bravest person he knew and he could not imagine his brother being
afraid.

"I don’t know, Joe. I just don’t know. Now hush before you wake him
up." Hoss and Joe returned to their silent vigil, each wondering how
long it would be before their brother returned to them.


He was too tired to open his eyes when he heard the voices talking.
He recognized the fact that Hoss and Little Joe were the ones
conversing. His throbbing head prevented him from fully concentrating
on the contents of their conversation. All he could gather was that
someone had lost their memory. He truly felt for whomever they were
speaking of. One thing Marie had taught him was that memories were
precious and should never be taken for granted. Adam drifted back
towards the darkness not realizing that his brothers were talking
about him.

Ben slowed down his horse as he approached the house. Usually, he
would be greeted by the sight of his boys doing their chores or by
Hop Sing making preparations for the evening meal. Today, no one
stirred outside. He knew that everyone wanted to stay close to his
oldest son during this difficult time.

He dismounted his horse and tethered it to the hitching post.
Entering the house, he quietly closed the door behind him. Ben
found Hop Sing slicing vegetables for the stew that he was
fixing. "Hop Sing? How’s Adam?"

"Bleeding has almost stopped. He must remain still and quiet for a
few more days. Hoss and Little Joe are with him now." Hop Sing
handed Ben a tray with some more tea and a small bowl of broth on
it. "Adam needs to drink. Must regain strength."

Ben took the tray and smiled at Hop Sing with gratitude in his
heart. "Thank you for all you’ve done for Adam. I’m convinced that
he would not have lived without your help. I will be forever in
your debt."

"No. Hop Sing part of family. One must help family." Hop Sing
returned to fixing dinner as Ben carefully walked towards the
bedroom with the tray.

Ben opened the door to find Hoss and Joe by Adam’s side. Ben knew
that although they were only half brothers, the bond between the
three of them could not be any stronger. They never thought of
themselves as half brothers. They each had characteristics,
belonging to their individual mothers, but in a sense, their
differences are what brought them together. Joe was the first to
look up and see his pa standing in the door. "Hey, Pa. We’ve been
takin’ real good care of Adam."

"I’m sure you have. How long has he been asleep?" Ben set the tray
down on the table beside the bed. He felt Adam’s forehead to check
for any indication of fever. His oldest son felt slightly warm, but
it was not unexpected. Ben knew that they would have to work to
keep Adam’s fever from spiking and causing further complications.

Adam stirred beneath Ben’s touch. "Adam? Adam, it’s Pa. Can you
open your eyes for me?"

Ben, Hoss, and Joe watched anxiously as Adam slowly opened his
eyes. Ben reached down and took Adam’s hand and lightly squeezed
it. "Hey, son. How are you feeling?"

"I’ll be okay, Pa. Don’t worry about me," Adam replied. His voice
was hoarse from not talking. Ben picked up the cup of tea and
gently lifted Adam’s head so he could drink. "Thanks, Pa."

"You’re welcome. Now you need to answer my question. How are you
feeling?" Ben waited patiently as Adam seemed to be processing the
question.

"My head still hurts and I’m sore. What happened, Pa?" Adam was
beginning to feel slightly frustrated because he could not remember
how he came to be in his present condition.

Ben knew that he could not hide the truth from Adam. Even with his
severe injuries, Adam had a unique ability to tell when people were
not being totally honest with him. Ben sat down on the bed beside
him, being careful not to cause his son any further pain. "Adam, do
you remember being attacked and beaten?"

Adam paused for a moment, trying to recall a memory that would not
come. "No, sir. Is that what happened? Do you know who did it?"

Ben swallowed as he nodded. "Jack Wolfe and four men that work for
him."

"Who’s Jack Wolfe?" Adam asked, a puzzled expression riddling his
face.

Ben looked at his younger sons. "Hoss and Little Joe, please go and
see if Hop Sing needs any help." Knowing that their father wanted
to talk to Adam alone, they quietly excused themselves from the
bedroom. Ben turned back to Adam, who still wore a mask of pain and
confusion. "Pa? Who’s this Jack Wolfe?"

As he studied his eldest son’s face, Ben knew that he could not keep
the truth hidden. He would have to be very careful in choosing his
words; he didn’t want to upset Adam to the point that he began
bleeding again. "Son, Jack Wolfe is a man who came to Eagle Station
quite a few months ago. He’s bent on trying to own the town. He’s
been buying up any business that threatened his personal interests.
You and he have had quite a few disagreements on his business
dealings."

"Is that why he attacked me?" Adam found it difficult to focus on
his father’s face. His vision was still blurred and the headache he
had been experiencing continued to be unrelenting.

"More or less," Ben said softly, silently hoping that his normally
inquisitive son would not ask him any further questions. However,
he knew that his son would not let an issue rest until he was
completely satisfied with the answers he received.

"Pa? Why don’t I remember him?" There was a slight fear present in
Adam’s eyes as he realized that he did not remember this man that
his pa spoke of.

"Adam, you took a pretty good hit to your head. Your memory will
come back to you."

"What else don’t I remember?" Adam was clearly frustrated at
himself for his lack of memory.

"Adam, please. You can’t get yourself worked up. We’ll talk more
about it later, I promise." Ben picked up the bowl of broth that
Hop Sing had prepared and began to give it to Adam.

Adam slowly sipped the soup, taking only a few sips before he felt
his stomach begin to cramp. "No more, Pa. I feel sick."

Ben set the soup aside and gently placed Adam’s head on the
pillow. "Rest son, you’re pushing too hard." It did not take long
for Adam’s eyes to close as he once again found himself welcoming
the darkness. Ben picked up the tray and went back out to find
Little Joe and Hoss, helping Hop Sing. "He’s resting. He only
managed a sip or two of broth."

Hop Sing took the tray from Ben. "A little is better than nothing.
Try again later."

Hoss and Little Joe watched Ben washed up. They knew that their Pa
was truly worried about Adam. The bond between father and sons was
indeed a strong one, but the one between Ben and Adam was even more
so. They had been through so many trials and hardships together,
that they had come to rely heavily on each other. Hoss and Joe
could not help but wonder if things would ever be the same.

Looking out the window, Ben saw Margaret and Tess Greene coming
towards the house. He went outside, followed by Hoss and Little
Joe. Hoss helped Tess down as Ben walked around to the other side
to help Margaret. "It’s good to see you, ladies."

"Ben, we heard what happened earlier and we came right over. How is
Adam?" Margaret allowed Ben to take her shawl as they entered the
house.

"It’s been touch and go. He was bleeding internally, but thanks to
Hop Sing, we believe that it’s under control. My biggest concern is
his memory. He still thinks Marie is alive." Ben gestured for the
ladies to sit down and join them at the table.

"Ben, how horrible. Is he aware of his memory loss?" Margaret
gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that was offered to her as she
waited for Ben to answer.

"Some of it. Not a whole lot. I don’t over want to overwhelm him."
Ben paused as his voice began to crack.

"I understand. I’m sorry that he doesn’t remember about Marie
dying. I know that has to be difficult for you and the boys."

Ben nodded. "Yes, but we’re just praying that it is temporary. You
will join us for supper, won’t you?"

"We don’t want to impose…"

Ben smiled at his friend. "It’s no imposition. Hop Sing always
makes plenty."

"Then we accept," Margaret replied.

The Cartwrights and the Greenes began to partake of the evening meal
that had been prepared, unbeknownst that their conversation had
carried to the room where Adam was lying.


Tears streamed down his cheeks, as he replayed the conversation he
had overheard. "Ma’s dead?" He whispered to himself. "It can’t
be. If she is, there must be a grave. I’ve got to see the
grave." His head was still throbbing, causing his thoughts to be
distorted as well as his reasoning ability. Adam tried to slow his
breathing down so he would not alert his family. The last thing he
wanted was for anyone to see him cry. The oldest Cartwright had
become very adept at hiding his emotions. Adam came to the decision
that he would wait until everyone was asleep and go find her grave.
He knew that Pa would have buried her in her favorite spot so it
should be easy to find. He closed his eyes once more, trying to
concentrate further on the conversation just beyond his door.

After dinner, Margaret and Ben sat outside on the front porch. Hoss
and Tess were in the barn looking after Ben’s horse, and Little Joe
was helping Hop Sing tend to his brother, Adam. Margaret studied
the man sitting beside her; his expression was one of
sadness. "Ben, are you all right?"

Ben sighed as he nodded. "I guess everything is just catching up
with me. I’m just so worried about Adam. If he had died…"

"Ben, you can’t allow yourself to think like that. He’s going to be
okay. It will just take time. He has a loving family to support
him and that is what will pull him through." Maggie took Ben’s hand
and gently squeezed it. "My dear friend, you need to get some
rest. You look exhausted."

"I am tired. I need to stay with Adam tonight to be sure he sleeps
well. He’s in a lot of pain and I just want to be near him in case
he needs me." Ben stood up and walked to the edge of the porch,
looking at the stars in the velvet sky. "I remember when we were
coming out west; Adam and I would lie on the ground and look at the
stars for hours. He asked me once if I knew how long it would take
to get to the nearest star. His mind was always working like that,
looking towards the future. His future was almost taken away from
him today and I’m partly responsible."

"Why do you say that, Ben?" Margaret stood up and joined him as he
continued to stare into the night.

"We had a fight and he walked out. The last words we spoke to each
other were full of anger." Ben closed his eyes against the image
of his son walking out the door, trying to keep his emotions under
control. Adam constantly fought an inner battle with himself as he
tried to keep his anger from escaping its threshold. His oldest
son did not enjoy losing control over any situation and he would
very often retreat into himself until he regained that control.

"Ben, just because you had words, doesn’t mean that this is your
fault. If you knew that Jack Wolfe was going to attack your son,
you would have never allowed him to leave."

Ben smiled at Margaret as she attempted to soothe his guilty
conscience. "No, but the fact remains that he did leave and now
he’s lying in that bed battered and bruised with no memory of the
past year." He leaned back against the post and crossed his
arms. "You know, Margaret, I’m surprised that you haven’t brought
up the latest gossip floating through the town."

"And what would that be, Ben?" Margaret asked as he drew her shawl
around her shoulders to ward off the evening chill.

"About Adam and Shelby."

"I heard the talk, Ben. I didn’t realize that you knew."

"Eli came and told me. I asked Adam about it and he didn’t deny
it. He and Shelby did kiss the other night in her saloon. They’ve
evidently developed some strong feelings for each other since he’s
been working for her. That was what our fight was about. Shelby
was with Adam when he was beaten. She’s going to testify against
Jack and his men." Ben could tell by Margaret’s expression that she
was indeed surprised to find truth to the rumor that she had heard.

"I’m sorry Ben. Do you approve of their relationship?" Margaret
knew the answer to her question before he could even reply.

"No, I don’t. I did realize that she really does care for him. She
was willing to give him up just to keep peace between Adam and
myself. I just can’t bring myself to approve of them being involved
with each other." Ben walked back over to his chair and sat down,
holding his head in his hands.

"Perhaps he won’t remember being involved with her."

"That’s what Shelby said. I don’t know. I just want my son to get
well and be able to get on with his life."

Margaret placed her hand on Ben’s shoulder as her touch generating
feeling of understanding and friendship. "Ben, if you need me, you
know that I’m here for you. It’s late and Tess and I need to get
home. I’ll drop by tomorrow and see how Adam is."

Ben nodded. "Thank you, Margaret. I appreciate your friendship."

Margaret walked towards the barn and told Tess that they were
leaving. The two ladies climbed in their buggy and with a flick of
the reins, they were headed back to their own ranch.

Hoss walked upon the porch and joined his pa. "Pa? Are ya all
right?"

"Yes, son. I’m fine. Let’s go see if Hop Sing and Joe need any
help with your brother." Ben placed his arm around Hoss’s broad
shoulders and they walked back inside the house and into the bedroom
where Adam was lying. He studied the pale face of his oldest son
for a moment, watching his expression as his son’s pain seemed to
grow. "How’s he doing?"

"He’s still asleep, Pa. Hop Sing got almost a whole cup of tea in
him. Of course, Adam wasn’t awake, but he still drunk a whole
cup." Little Joe was excited about the small strides his brother
had made throughout the long day.

Ben watched as Hop Sing gathered his supplies that he used to change
the bandages. "Hop Sing, will he sleep through the night?"

"Yes. Family should rest. Adam not move tonight. Gave him
medicine to sleep. Will keep close eye on eldest son. Go to bed."
Hop Sing was as worried about the other Cartwrights almost as much
as he was concerned for Adam.

"I think I should stay with him," Ben protested.

"NO! Adam sleep, father sleep." Hop Sing began to usher Ben, Hoss,
and Joe out of the bedroom. "Good night." He pulled Adam’s door
shut and stood in front of it, waiting for the other members of his
family to retire for the evening.

"You win, Hop Sing," replied Ben. He turned and hugged each of his
son’s, not wanting to let them go for fear that he may lose them as
well. Ben went and lay down on Adam’s bed, clutching the picture of
Adam’s mother tightly to his chest. "It’s time’s like this, Liz,
that I wish you were here to help me. He inherited your
stubbornness; that’s for sure." Ben finally closed his eyes and
drifted off to sleep.


Adam opened his eyes after he heard his door shut. He was having a
difficult time fighting the effects of the tea that Hop Sing had
made him drink. Adam knew that the tea had been laced with some
kind of sedative and that if he were going to complete the task that
he had in mind, he would have to stay awake. It was difficult to do
so, when one was pretending to be asleep.

Adam listened as he heard his father and his brothers retire for the
evening. He also knew that Hop Sing had gone to bed as well, but
would be back in a few hours to check on him. Adam slowly threw
back the covers that were securely tucked around him. That simple
movement sent pain coursing through his arm and shoulder. He
continued to lay there for a moment as he fought back the constant
pain that besieged him. Adam finally rolled over on his side; the
broken ribs grating against each other almost made the young man
pass out. He slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position as he
bit his lip in an effort not to cry out.

Breathing heavily, he stood up, leaning on the bedpost for support.
He doubled over in agony as he attempted to walk. "Please God…I
have to do this," he whispered through clenched teeth. Blood poured
down his chin as he continued to bite his lip in an effort to be
silent. He slowly moved towards the dresser to get some clothes,
sweat beginning to indicate the effort that Adam was making. He
grabbed a pair of his pa’s pants and a shirt that was lying nearby
and put them on. Pain was shadowing his every move. With
increasing effort, he pulled on his own boots which were sitting by
the door. Adam continued to silently pray that he would not be
stopped in his quest. As Adam tried to straighten, the room began
to spin once again, causing a wave of nausea to pass over him. If
he had been able to think clearly, he knew that he could have simply
asked his pa if Marie were dead. However, the effects of the
concussion, as well as the effects of the sedative, prevented him
from doing so.

He quietly opened the bedroom door and stumbled out into the open
area that was used as a living room and kitchen. His blurred vision
made it even more difficult to maneuver around the obstacles on his
way to the front door. Adam made it to the front door with very
little problem and he leaned against it as he tried to force his
strength to return. He finally opened the door and made his way on
the front porch. Weaving from side to side, he wandered towards the
barn. The thought of how he was going to saddle his horse had yet
to cross his mind.

Adam walked into Beauty’s stall and found himself leaning against
his horse in an effort to remain standing. Looking at his saddle,
he knew that he would not be able to lift it. "I can’t ride…hurts
too much," he muttered to himself. Left with no choice, he began to
walk out of the barn and away from the house. His arms cradled his
ribs as he slowly walked towards the familiar meadow. Each step
that he took sent waves of agony through his back and his head. The
unrelenting throbbing in his head brought tears to his eyes. "Help
me, God," he pleaded. "I’ve got to know."

Unable to walk any farther, Adam fell to his knees. Determined not
to allow his weakness to interfere, he began to crawl. His reserves
quickly depleted as he fell to the ground, succumbing to the
darkness that beckoned to him. "I’m sorry, Ma," he whispered as he
closed his eyes once again.


Hop Sing rose from his slumber as he felt a cool draft flow through
the house. He noticed that the front door was open, allowing the
cool breeze to enter. Hop Sing shut the door and as he turned, he
saw that Ben’s bedroom door was open as well. Believing that Ben
had probably decided to check on Adam, Hop Sing entered quietly.
His eyes widened with surprise when he realized that his patient was
missing. He ran into where Ben was sleeping. "Wake up! Wake up,"
he shouted. "Adam is gone! Oldest son gone!"

Ben sat straight up when he heard Hop Sing’s voice. "What? What do
you mean he’s gone?’ Ben followed Hop Sing back to his bedroom to
find his eldest son missing. Quickly looking around, Ben could tell
that Adam must have been able to put on some clothes. "I’m missing
a shirt and pants that were on the dresser; his boots are gone as
well. What was he thinking?" Hoss and Little Joe joined their
father, their faces betraying the shock of finding their brother
gone. Turning to Hop Sing, Ben growled, "Stay with Hoss and Joe,
I’m going to go and look for him." Without waiting for a reply from
Hop Sing, Ben pulled on his pants and slipped on his boots and
coat. Running to the barn, he noticed a trail of blood that led
from the house to the barn. "Adam, what’s going on with you, son?"
He quickly saddled his horse and headed off into the night, praying
that his oldest son was still alive.

The full moon lit the path that the lone rider was taking. Neither
horse nor rider seemed to be in a hurry as they walked along,
satisfied with each other’s company. Something caught the rider’s
eye. It was a man, lying straight ahead in the road. Wary of
robbers and other lowlife, the rider drew a pistol out of its
holder. Moving closer, the image of the man became more familiar as
the rider drew closer. "Adam? No! Not again!" Quickly
dismounting the horse, the rider knelt down beside the young man and
began to see what could be done to help him.

Ben knew that Adam’s tracks would be difficult to track in the dark.
He would have to ride slowly and watch carefully for any change of
direction. He could not wait until daylight to begin his search
because of Adam’s physical condition. The thoughts of his son
wandering in the cool night air added to Ben’s anxiety. Ben could
not fathom what possessed Adam to leave the security of the ranch.
He silently admonished himself for allowing his thoughts to wander.
He needed to be able to focus on what he was doing if he had any
hope at all in finding his son.

Something caught Ben’s attention up ahead in the road. As he drew
closer, he saw two figures against the silhouette of darkness. He
urged his horse onward, trying to ignore the gnawing feeling that
one of those huddled forms was his son. Ben cupped his hand to his
mouth and called out into the night, "Adam? Adam?"

"Ben? Ben Cartwright, I’m sure glad to see ya! It’s Adam. Please
hurry!"

Recognizing that the voice answering him belonged to Shelby, Ben
reined his horse to a stop and quickly dismounted. He ran over to
where she was cradling his son’s body. "What happened?" Ben knelt
down on the ground next to his son as he waited for Shelby to reply.

"I was takin’ a ride and I saw him in the road. I don’t know how he
made it this far." Shelby looked into Adam’s face, realizing how
young and fragile he looked in the pale moonlight. She gently handed
him over to Ben and watched as he held his son close. "What’s he
even doin’ outta bed?"

"I don’t know, Shelby. However, I do owe you thanks once again for
helping my son. Could I impose on you to help me get him back to the
ranch?"

Shelby nodded, knowing that she could not trust her voice to speak.
Ben gently picked up Adam and carried him over to his horse. "Help
me get him on the horse," Ben asked, his voice soft, yet demanding.
They managed to get Adam on the horse and Shelby held him while Ben
mounted up. He gently placed his arms around his son, being mindful
of his injuries. "I need to hold on to Adam. Can you take the reins
of my horse and lead us back to the ranch?"

Taking the reins of the horse, Shelby slowly led Ben’s horse through
the night back towards the ranch. If the situation were different,
the beauty of the ride with the sounds of nature chiming in to form
a melodic chorus would have been truly enjoyable. However, the only
sound that Shelby or Ben seemed to be able to concentrate on was
Adam’s labored breathing. Ben tried to lean Adam further back
against him, but this only emitted a moan of agony from his
son. "Easy son," Ben whispered in Adam’s ear. "We’re almost home."

Adam stirred as the words his father had spoken found its way to his
confused mind. "No, Pa." His throat was dry, making his voice
hoarse; the effort to speak was forcing his breathing to quicken.
However, the only thing that mattered to Adam was going to see if
his ma was truly dead. "Pa, please…" Adam tried to fight his
father’s hold, but discovered that he was too weak to provide much
resistance.

"Adam, please stay still. You’ll only hurt yourself worse." Ben
silently wondered how much more damage his oldest son had done by
his escapade. He felt his son’s body go limp against his,
indicating that Adam did not have the strength to struggle. They
approached the house and saw Hop Sing, Little Joe and Hoss anxiously
waiting on the front porch. Ben called out, "Help me with Adam!"

The trio ran forward and gently took Adam from his father’s arms and
went inside the house. Ben dismounted and went over to Shelby’s
horse, taking the reins from her trembling hands. "Shelby, it’s far
too late for you to go back to town, please stay here for the
night. I’m not sure how much sleep you’ll get in this house, but
please accept my offer."

"Are ya sure?" Shelby was hesitant about staying because of the
awkwardness of the situation.

"Please. I insist. Now, I’ll send Hoss and Joe out to take care of
the horses. I’m going to see if I can help Hop Sing." Ben smiled
weakly and went in the house.

Shelby dismounted and followed Ben inside. She quickly decided to
make herself useful and began fixing coffee and sandwiches for
everyone. This was definitely going to be a long night where no one
would get very much sleep. Shelby heard voices in the bedroom and
her thoughts drifted back to Adam. He had given her such a new
outlook on life and had convinced her that she deserved happiness.
However, the events of the past couple of days had proven to Shelby
that she only caused him pain and unhappiness. She would not
forfeit his life for her happiness. She looked up as the door
opened and Little Joe, Hoss, and Ben came out of the
bedroom. "What’s wrong?" Shelby was afraid of the answer that she
might receive.

"Hop Sing kicked us out," replied Hoss sullenly.

"He wanted a chance to examine Adam without any distractions," Ben
explained. "Boys, go take care of the horses. I’ll call you when
Hop Sing comes out." Ben watched as his two younger sons obediently
went out to bed down the horses. Ben gratefully accepted the cup of
coffee that Shelby handed to him. "Hop Sing seems to think that
he’s started to bleed internally again."

"Ben, I’m so sorry. If it hadn’t been for me, none of this would
have happened." Shelby found that she could blame no one else but
herself.

"You didn’t do this to him, Jack Wolfe did. Adam has always stood
up for what he believed in, even if it goes against what everybody
else believes. Evidently, he believes in you Shelby, I think that
you owe him the same courtesy." Ben pulled a chair over in front of
the fire place and sat down.

"I do believe in him. But one of these days, he’s gonna get killed
doin’ that. I ain’t worth him gettin’ killed over. I’m sorry,
Ben." As Shelby stood gazing into the fire, the reflection from the
flames shone on her tearstained face.

Ben rose from his chair and went over to Shelby and placed a hand on
her shoulder. "We’ve got to have faith that Adam will be all
right. He’s a fighter—he always has been. He just needs time."
Ben turned as the door to the bedroom opened. Hop Sing motioned for
him to join him inside the bedroom. "I’ll be right back, Shelby."

Shelby nodded and watched Ben as he walked in the bedroom, closing
the door behind him. She could tell by the expression in Hop Sing’s
eyes that what he had to say would not be good. Sitting down in the
chair that Ben had vacated, Shelby’s grief and guilt became too much
for her to hold inside any longer. Seeing Adam’s coat lying nearby,
she picked it up and held it up to her face. She released the tears
that had been building up and allowed them to flow freely.

Ben joined Hop Sing by Adam’s bedside. "Hop Sing? How is he?" Ben
looked at Adam’s still form as Hop Sing continued to replace the
bandages.

"He bleeds again. Will begin father’s medicine again and hope it
works. Fever very high now. Fighting infection. Adam is restless,
talks and moans asking for`Ma’. You stay while I make medicine.
Powerful medicine, make him sleep while fever burns." Hop Sing
gathered the supplies that he had been using and laid them on Ben’s
dresser and quickly left the room in order to make more medicine.

Ben sat down beside Adam and brushed an unruly piece of hair out of
Adam’s face. "Adam? Can you hear me?"

Adam opened his eyes slightly as he tried to focus on the sound of
Ben’s voice. "Pa?"

"I’m here, son. You just rest and do what Hop Sing tells you to
do."

A tear escaped from Adam’s eye as he looked at his father. "Pa?
Where’s Ma?"

"Adam, you need to rest. We’ll talk later." Ben wiped away his
son’s tears with a calloused hand.

Adam pulled away from his father’s touch, a movement that he
regretted as piercing agony coursed through his head. "No, Pa.
Please, I heard you talking. I wanted to see her grave`cause I
didn’t believe it."

"Is that what you were doing? You were going to…" Ben swallowed
hard as he realized that he had no choice but to be honest with
Adam. "Son, you’re right. I’m sorry, but your Ma died almost a
year ago."

"But…but I don’t remember that. I remember us going on a picnic.
Pa? What’s wrong with me?" Adam’s tears flowed freely now, a sight
that Ben was not accustomed to. If Adam had not been injured, he
would have never allowed this display to be seen.

"Son, I told you that you had a hard lick to your head. It’s just
causing you not to remember some things. Now please, you need to be
quiet and rest. You’ve started bleeding again and you need to say
calm." Ben wrung out a wet cloth and placed it on his son’s
forehead in a vain attempt to ward off the fever that was beginning
to consume him.

"Pa?" Adam’s voice was barely audible as he began to lose the
battle to stay conscious. "Did I kill her too?" Before Ben could
respond, Adam had succumbed to the darkness and drifted off to
sleep.

Hop Sing came back in with two cups of tea and set it down beside
the bed. He gently lifted Adam’s head up and forced both cups down,
stroking his throat to ensure that he swallowed. Bent sat there
watching his son fight for his life as Adam’s question weight
heavily on his heart. Hearing the door open slightly, he turned to
find his youngest son’s standing in the doorway. "You boys better
get on back to bed. Adam’s sleeping now."

Hoss and Little Joe came in and went over to hug their father. They
just needed their pa’s reassurance that everything would be all
right. "Good night, boys. I love you."

"We love you too, Pa," they replied in unison.

Ben put his arms around both boys and walked them to their
room. "Pa, tell Adam we love him too," Hoss said, his voice serious
and suddenly much more mature. Ben nodded and closed the door to
the boy’s room.

As he made his way back to the bedroom, he saw Shelby sitting in the
chair by the fireplace. Ben noticed that she had drifted off to
sleep as well. She was clutching Adam’s coat tightly against her
chest in an effort to feel close to him. Ben sighed as the events
of the past few hours began to catch up with him. Walking back to
the bedroom where his eldest son lay, he prayed to God that tomorrow
would be brighter and that he would be granted wisdom to know what
to do for his oldest son.

The next few days were unusually quiet around the Ponderosa as the
Cartwrights tended to Adam as he became progressively worse. His
body was trying to fight the infection and the fever, refusing to
allow him complete rest that he desperately craved. The only
positive thing had been that the internal bleeding had seemed to
finally stop. The family as well as neighbors and friends, had kept
a constant vigil. Shelby had been out every night since she had
found him wandering alone the other night.

Ben watched Adam as the fever seemed to torture his already hurting
mind. Leaning forward, he took the rag from his son’s forehead and
wet it once again. He gently laid it back on Adam’s forehead after
he patted his son’s face. Ben noticed that some of the bruises had
started to fade, but were still rather prominent, especially on his
face. He traced the outline of Adam’s jaw as he thought about how
much Adam favored his mother. Elizabeth would be so proud of the
boy, no, the man that he had become.

Hop Sing entered the room with some more tea. "Fever is coming
down."

Ben sat up with anticipation. "Are you sure? He’s still so warm."

"That is true, but he is quiet now, is starting to rest." Hop Sing
lifted Adam’s head carefully as he forced his patient to drink.

"I guess I never thought of it that way. I hope that he is able to
rest. He had a really hard night last night."

Hop Sing merely nodded in agreement as he recalled the terrified
screams and the pleas for understanding. He did not know what the
dreams were about, but he did know that dreams were the mirror of
the soul. Hop Sing realized that the mirror that belonged to Adam
Cartwright was shattered. Adam had called out for`Ma’ throughout
the night. Often times, it was unclear as to which one he was
referring to. However, Hop Sing believed that Ben knew exactly whom
Adam referred to in his dreams. Hop Sing finished giving Adam the
tea and set the cup aside. "Fever should be gone by tonight."

"I hope so. Thank you Hop Sing. We would have never gotten through
this without you."

"I told you that Hop Sing is part of family. You would do same for
Hop Sing."

"Yes, we would." Ben stood up and stretched his aching back.
Sleeping in the hard chairs had proved to be very uncomfortable; but
Ben refused to leave Adam alone again. "Have Hoss and Joe gone to
school?"

"Yes. They did not wish to disturb you. They leave quietly after
breakfast."

Ben nodded his approval as he turned his attention back to his
eldest son. The question that Adam had asked him constantly played
through his mind. Did Adam believe that he was responsible for the
death of his mother, Inger, and Marie? When his son was better,
they would have a long discussion about the guilt and wrongly placed
blame that apparently consumed his son.



"Little Joe, Pa is gonna kill us. We’re supposed to be in school."
Hoss whispered to his brother as they hid in an alleyway next to the
saloon where everyone was waiting for court to start. The circuit
judge had arrived in town last night and had scheduled the hearing
for the next morning. The townspeople cleared as Jack Wolfe and his
four men were marched from the building that they were being held in
to the saloon.

Little Joe pulled on Hoss’ coat sleeve. "Come on, Hoss. We can
sneak through the back way. I wanna hear old Jack Wolfe get what’s
comin’ to him."

"Little Joe, we’re gonna get caught." Hoss had been the unfortunate
partner in many of his younger brother’s schemes and he did not
cherish the thought of receiving a tanning from pa just because he
listened to Joe.

"Quit bein’ such a baby," Joe exclaimed. "Come on!"

The two brothers quietly opened the back door and quietly watched
the proceedings. The judge called on Shelby to give her testimony.
She had described how Jack had unmercifully beat Adam that morning
as well as the other times that resulted in far less serious
injuries. She did not spare the details of Adam’s bruised and
battered body as she told the judge what had happened.

The crowd murmured as she sat down next to Eli and Ruth Orowitz.
Ruth patted her hand in reassurance, "You did very well."

Shelby merely nodded as she waited for Jack Wolfe to have his turn.
Jack informed the judge of Shelby and Adam’s involvement and what
appeared to be a personal vendetta against him. Shelby could feel
the stares of the townspeople as Jack went into the details of their
relationship. She knew that there weren’t many people who approved
of her being involved with young Adam Cartwright, but their
relationship was not on trial. The final blow came when Jack swore
that he was in town on the morning in question and the four men that
worked for him spoke to the same.

The judge sat contemplating for a moment. Laying aside the intense
personal dislike he had for Jack Wolfe, he had to abide by the
law. "Is Adam Cartwright here to testify as well?"

Eli stood up and removed his hat in the presence of the
judge. "Your honor, Adam Cartwright is unable to testify at the
moment. Perhaps if we could postpone…"

"I’m sorry, I can’t. Right now, I have five men that are telling
the same story—that they did not hurt Adam Cartwright against one
who says that they did. I have to dismiss due to lack of
evidence." The judge banged his gavel and ordered Jack and his men
to be released amidst the protests of the crowd. Jack was not a
well liked man and had more than his share of enemies since his
arrival.

"You can’t do that!" Little Joe screamed as he opened the back
door. He and Hoss nearly tripped over each other as they fell
inside the door. "He hurt my brother and he has to go to jail!"

"That’s right," said Hoss. "You ought to just come out to the ranch
and see for yourself what bad shape he’s in."

The judge once again banged his gavel to demand order. When it
became clear to him that he could not gain anyone’s attention in
that manner, he took out his pistol and fired. The room silenced
immediately as all eyes became fixed on him. He turned around and
studied the two boys who had unceremoniously come bounding into his
court room. "I understand your anger and frustration, but I don’t
have enough proof to convict them. Even if your brother could
testify, the outcome would probably not have been any different. I
know the likes of Mr. Wolfe and I can personally say that I despise
him. However, I can’t send him to jail on the testimony of one
person. I’m sorry, boys. Now I suggest you get to where you’re
supposed to be."

"But…" Joe protested.

Eli and Dan pulled the two young Cartwrights aside. "Come, we must
go tell your father," Eli softly replied.

Hoss and Joe simply looked at each other and then slowly walked out
of the make shift courtroom, followed by Eli and Big Dan. Shelby
shook her head as Ruth tried to offer her encouragement and
comfort. As Jack walked out, he smiled down at Shelby. "You best
just get on outta here while you can walk, Jack."

"I didn’t realize that you were such a sore loser, Shelby." Before
Jack could take another step, Shelby lunged at him, knocking him to
the floor. Jack rolled over and came face to face with Shelby’s
pistol. His eyes widened in fear as her finger started to pull back
on the trigger. "What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

"No. I’m in complete control and I’m gonna see justice done one way
or another." Shelby remained steady as she aimed the gun directly
at Jack’s head.



Late that morning, Adam began to stir. He opened his eyes slightly,
looking around the room. "Pa?" His voice was so inaudible that Ben
did not hear him at first. Adam tried to lift his hand to get his
father’s attention, but found that endeavor to be exhausting.
However, it was enough as he felt his pa grab his hand and hold it
tightly.

"Adam? Adam? How do you feel son?" Ben studied his son’s face as
Adam tried to become reacquainted with consciousness.

"I don’t know. Kind of weak, I guess. Everything is kind of
fuzzy." Adam noticed that his pa had not yet released his
hand. "Are you okay, Pa?"

"I’m fine now. You’re awake and you’re going to be all right."
Ben moved to sit on the side of Adam’s bed. "Can I get you
anything?"

"Some water, please." Adam gratefully accepted the help as his
father gently lifted his head up so he could drink. He nodded and
laid back down, his fatigue overwhelming him. "Was it bad, Pa?"

"Yeah, it was bad. Adam, do you remember anything that has happened
this last week?" Ben had prayed many hours for the return of his
son’s memory, if for nothing else, so he could ease the pain and
doubt that troubled him so.

"Bits and pieces. It’s all kind of jumbled up. I’m not sure what
is real and what isn’t."

"Okay son. Don’t push it. Right now, I just want you to rest."

"I don’t think I have the energy to do anything but rest." Adam did
not like the thoughts of having to stay in bed and sleep, but now,
he had no choice.

"Can I get you anything else?" Ben asked his son; joy was evident
in his voice.

"Not right now. Thanks, anyway."

Ben quietly left the bedroom as Adam drifted back off to sleep.
Walking out on the porch, he looked up towards the sky. "Thank you
for pulling him through. I’m glad you didn’t take him away from me
yet, I don’t know what I would do without him."

The sound of a horse drawn buggy approaching, forced Ben out of his
reverie. "Maggie! It’s good to see you."

Trying to smile but finding it difficult, Maggie allowed Ben to help
her down. "Ben, they had the hearing this morning. The judge came
in late last night and set it for this morning. He let Jack and his
men go."

"What? Why wasn’t I told about this?" Ben’s eyes that once were
brimmed with tears were now full of anger.

"No one really knew until this morning. The judge wouldn’t convict
them without further evidence."

"Why wouldn’t he give us more time?" Ben demanded.

"I don’t know. I’m so sorry." Maggie put a calming hand on his
shoulder. She could feel the rage as his body shook with fury.

"They didn’t even give Adam a chance to testify. What kind of
system do we have?"

"Come on, let’s go and check on Adam." Maggie slipped her arm
through his and escorted him back to the house. "How is he today,
Ben?"

"He’s doing much better. I don’t want to go in there and upset him
while he’s resting. Please sit down; I’ll have Hop Sing make us
some coffee." Maggie watched as Ben seemed to relax after a few
moments.

"Are you all right?"

"I will be. One day, Jack Wolfe will get what’s coming to him."
Ben set his cup down on the table. "Maggie, do you mind staying
with Adam? I need to go to town."

"Of course, Ben. Please don’t do anything foolish. Your boys need
you." She hoped that her reasoning did not fall on deaf ears. She
walked over to the window and watched Ben go towards the barn.
Within a few minutes, he had saddled a horse and was headed towards
Eagle Station. "Be careful, my friend."

The tension in the air was nearly unbearable as people waited with
baited breath while the drama before them unfolded. Shelby continued
to hold the gun, pointing it straight at Jack’s head. "I want
everybody to clear out of here," Shelby demanded. "This is between me
and Jack." People slowly began to leave the saloon, but did not stray
very far from the entrance of the saloon in fear that they would miss
something. "Now Jack, it’s just you and me. You know that I’m gonna
be doin’ a lot of people a favor by gettin’ rid of you."

"Now, Shelby, let’s be reasonable. I tell you what; I’ll make you a
deal." Jack was hoping that he could talk his way out of the mess
that he was currently in. However, the skills that he so often relied
on seemed to be useless at the moment.

"No deals. The law didn’t take care of ya, so I am. But ya know what?
Killing ya right away wouldn’t be right. You should have to suffer,
like you’ve made Adam suffer."

"I guess you really do have feelings for him. Forgive me for my wrong
assumptions." Jack was attempting to placate Shelby in hopes of
diffusing the situation. His eye caught a slight movement as he
realized that the judge was still in the room. Jack knew that the
judge despised him but he also hoped that the judge would also uphold
the law and help him. He had to keep Shelby’s attention focused on
him to give the judge time to come up behind her.

"My feelings for Adam are none of your business." Before she realized
what had happened, Shelby felt somebody behind her, deflecting her
arm away from Jack. Startled by the sudden movement, Shelby pulled
the trigger. As the pistol fired, the shot went wild, splintering a
shelf and breaking a bottle of whiskey behind the bar. Turning in
anger, she came face to face with the judge. "What do ya think you’re
doin’? Ya said yourself you couldn’t stand him."

"I am aware of what I said. I also did not want to see you make a
grave mistake that will cost you everything, including your life. I
believe that you have too much to live for." The judge held out his
hand, waiting patiently for Shelby to hand the pistol over to him.

Shelby sighed as she reluctantly surrendered her pistol to the judge.
Ruth Orowitz made her way over and gently guided Shelby away from
Jack towards the back room. "Come now. I will fix you some tea and
we’ll talk."

"There ain’t nothin’ to talk about, Ruth." Shelby sat down in the
chair and closed her eyes, silently wishing that she was with Adam
right now. She never had to explain herself to Adam; he just always
seemed to understand her.

"Shelby, come to my house with me. It will do you good to get away
for a while."

Shelby merely nodded as she stood up and followed Ruth out the door.
Perhaps Ruth could offer some unique insight to her problems. She
knew that Ruth Orowitz would never pass judgment on her; in fact, she
had already proven herself as a friend to Shelby. Ignoring the stares
of the townspeople as she walked down the street, Shelby followed
Ruth to her house.



Outside the saloon, Big Dan and Eli studied the two youngest
Cartwrights standing before them. They had pulled them out of the
saloon before Shelby had pulled her gun on Jack Wolfe. Of course,
thanks to the curious townspeople, Joe and Hoss had a good idea what
had gone on. Eli nodded to Big Dan indicating that he could handle
the two boys. "Thank you Daniel for your help."

Big Dan waved and walked back in the saloon. Little Joe and Hoss hung
their heads under the scrutiny of Eli. They knew that Eli thought of
them like they were his own and whatever he did, he always did for
their own good. "Now, first of all, why don’t you tell me why you
aren’t in school?"

"I told ya we was gonna get in trouble, Little Joe," Hoss said,
unwittingly revealing the mastermind behind their plan.

"We just wanted to see what that judge was gonna do to Jack Wolfe."
Little Joe decided that he might as well be completely honest with
Eli. If there was one thing that his pa did not like, it was
lying. "I mean, Adam’s our brother, and we just wanted to know what
was goin` on."

"Did you have permission from your father to not attend school
today?" Eli crossed his arms as he eyed the boys suspiciously.

"No, sir," came the reply from both boys.

"I see." Eli’s expression grew softer as he placed his hands upon
the boy’s shoulders. "I know that you wanted to see the man who hurt
your brother brought to justice. However, sometimes it doesn’t work
that way. Now, we must go and tell your father."

Both boys nodded in agreement. They both knew that they would have to
face their pa. They had broken the rules and would have to be
punished. Hoss and Little Joe started to follow Eli, when they saw a
familiar presence riding towards them. Both boys could feel their
heartbeat quicken in fear, wondering if something had happened to
Adam.

Ben slowed his horse as he entered the center of town. His eyes were
cast on three familiar figures just up ahead of him. "Hoss? Little
Joe? Care to explain why you’re not in school?"

Hoss and Joe ran up to Ben, their young faces expressing the worry
and concern that was in their hearts. "Pa? Is Adam all right?
Nothin’s wrong with Adam, is it?" Both boys were firing questions at
Ben so quickly, he did not have the opportunity to answer them.

Ben held up his hands and the boys grew silent. "Adam is awake and
his fever has broken. He’s doing much better." Ben extended his hand
to greet his dear friend. "Eli, is something wrong?’

"I think I will let your sons explain everything to you. I must get
back and reopen the store. Come by later Ben, we will talk." Ben
watched Eli head towards his store. He turned back to his sons and
waited for one of them to begin. Ben knew that often Hoss would find
himself caught up in Joseph’s schemes and he figured that this was
probably the case.

Little Joe took a deep breath and began. He figured that if he spoke
fast, that he would get this chore of telling his pa exactly what
happened over with. "Well Pa, it’s like this. We got to school and
heard that the trial was gonna be today and we decided that we wanted
to see Jack get what was coming to him. So, we ditched school and
snuck in the back of the saloon. Only, the judge didn’t send Jack to
prison or nothin’, ’cause he didn’t have another witness. So, we got
upset and Mr. Orowitz and Big Dan carried us outside. Mr. Orowitz was
makin’ us go home and tell ya what happened, except you came into
town."

Ben stood silent for a moment. "Is that true Hoss?"

"That about sums it up, Pa," Hoss replied.

"First of all, you will go back to school and explain to your teacher
why you were not in class. You will then accept any punishment that
is deemed necessary by your teacher. After that, you are to go
straight home and start on your chores. I will talk with you both
later this evening. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sir," they replied sullenly. Ben watched the boys as they
walked towards the school. Truthfully, he could not blame the boys
for wanting to see Adam’s attacker brought to justice. He could not
fault them because he wanted the same thing. Ben could not help but
wonder if he had been able to be at the trial, if he could not have
made a difference.

Ben went in to the Trading Post to find Eli stocking the shelves.
The older man stopped as he saw his friend enter the store. "Ben,
I’m sorry."

"It wasn’t your fault. Apparently the judge didn’t give much notice
or I would have been here. I can’t believe that Jack Wolfe is
walking around a free man. He and his men nearly killed Adam and
he’s walking around free!"

A trace of a smile crept across Eli’s face. "Little Joe said the
same thing. It seems that father and sons are very much alike in
their thinking."

"Yeah, well..."

Eli averted his gaze momentarily to be sure that they were alone.
The fiasco that happened after the trial was already getting blown
out of proportion. Returning his attention back to Ben, Eli spoke
softly, "Ben, Shelby did try and kill Jack. Thankfully she was
stopped before she ruined her life. Ruth has her at the house.
Perhaps you should go and talk to her."

"But what do I say?" Ben still did not fully approve of the
relationship that was developing between Shelby and Adam. It was
still uncertain what Adam remembered and what was still lost in the
realm of his memory. He did not want to encourage the relationship,
but he also had to remember that Adam was his own man. He had tried
to force his decisions on his son, but that had proven disastrous.

"I think that the words will come if you let them." Ben smiled as Eli
once again demonstrated wisdom beyond his years.

Ben left the store and went over to Ruth and Eli’s house. Knocking
firmly on the front door; he was surprised when Shelby answered the
door. "Shelby? I’m sorry. I was just expecting Ruth to answer the
door."

"She’s in the kitchen making tea. Come on in. Ben, how’s Adam?"
She did not bother to try and hide the worry in her voice. It had
been such a long time since she had shown concern for anybody except
herself. She had long ago convinced herself that watching out for
her own personal interests was the only way to ensure that she did
not get hurt.

"His fever has broken and he’s more aware. I think he’s turned the
corner. Thank you for asking, Shelby." Ben took off his hat and
placed on the table as he sat down.

"What about his memory?" Shelby was not sure if she was prepared for
the answer to her question.

"I’m not sure. He’s still very tired and weak, so I didn’t push
it." Ben picked his hat back up and began to fiddle with the brim of
his hat. "Shelby, would you like to ride back out to the ranch with
me and see Adam? Maybe we could talk on the way."

Shelby wanted nothing more than to see Adam and be able to see for
herself that he was going to be all right. However, the prospect of
having to talk to Ben made her nervous. "Uh, sure. Let me tell
Ruth where I’m goin’."

Ben watched as Shelby disappeared into the other room momentarily,
and then returned, still appearing to be very nervous. Ben opened
the door and gestured for Shelby to go out before him. "I’ll go and
saddle my horse. I’ll meet ya at the edge of town." Without waiting
for Ben to reply, she headed towards the livery, wondering if she was
about to make another huge mistake.

Shelby and Ben slowly made their way back towards the Ponderosa.
Each wanted to break the awkward silence between them, but neither
party was certain who should begin. Ben watched Shelby as she
looked straight ahead to avoid looking at him. Ben cleared his
throat as he decided that he would have to take the
initiative. "Shelby, Eli told me what happened earlier with Jack.
I’m glad that you were stopped before you did something that you
would regret."

"I guess so. It’s just so unfair that Jack Wolfe gets off so easy.
After what he did to Adam, I just wanted him to pay so bad." Shelby
kept her horse even with Ben’s as they continued on side by side.

"You really care about him, don’t you?" Ben asked pointedly.

Now that Ben had asked the question that they both had been
avoiding, she felt able to open the floodgates that she had been
precariously holding back. "Yeah, I do. It’s been a long time
since I let myself care about anyone else. I don’t know exactly
what to do about it. He’s got so much ahead of him and I don’t want
to hold him back. Part of me hopes that he can’t remember
everything that has happened, that way he won’t feel obliged to me.
He’s a fine young man, Ben. He’s too good for me."

"No, Shelby. Adam is not too good for you. You are a fine person
and underneath that tough exterior, you have a tremendous heart.
Adam is not one to give his own heart so freely and when he does, it
must be someone very special to him. I’m glad that you were able to
break through that wall that Adam built around his heart."

Shelby blushed slightly at the praise that she had received from
Ben. "Thank ya, Ben. That’s real nice of ya to say, but it ain’t
gonna change the way that ya feel about me seein’ your son. I just
want you to know that I ain’t got no intention of messin’ up Adam’s
life."

"Shelby, I don’t think that you would intentionally do anything to
hurt Adam. The only problem is that he’s so young that he may not
see beyond his feelings. Like I said, once Adam has given you his
heart, he becomes very loyal to that person." Ben gently pulled
back on the reins, bringing his horse to a stop. Shelby did the
same as they gazed upon the vastness of the Ponderosa. "I’m not
sure how I feel about the two of you being together, but I have
realized that I can’t make Adam’s decisions for him. He’s a man now
and quite frankly, he has always been expected to be one. Whatever
you two decide, I will not interfere."

Shelby nodded as she urged her horse onward towards the house. Ben
followed close behind her, giving Shelby a few moments to gather her
thoughts. Before long, the house came into their sight. As they
approached the house, they were greeted by Margaret Greene. "Ben,
Adam has been asleep the whole time."

"He needs the rest," Ben replied as he got off his horse. "Has
there been any further sign of the fever returning?"

Margaret shook her head as her eyes drifted towards Shelby. "No,
the fever seems to be gone. Hello, Shelby. How are you?"

"I’m all right. Thanks for askin’ Maggie." Shelby dismounted her
horse as well and tethered it to a nearby pole. Maggie noticed that
there was something different about Shelby and the way that she
carried herself. Her expressions were softer and her demeanor was
calm. "Ben, I’ll wait for ya inside," Shelby said as she left Ben
and Margaret to talk.

Turning to Margaret, Ben smiled wearily at his friend. "Thank you
so much for staying with Adam."

"Ben, it was my pleasure. If you need anything else, please don’t
hesitate to ask." Margaret lightly kissed Ben on the cheek.
Following to her buggy, Ben helped Margaret in and watched her as
she drove down the road. The horse and buggy left behind a cloud of
dust that seemed to blanket the air.

Ben went inside the house to find Shelby standing outside Adam’s
room. "Let me go and check on him first. Make yourself
comfortable, please." Shelby walked towards the fireplace and
noticed a book lying on the table. Picking up the book, she read the
title,`Paradise Lost.’ Noting that the cover was well worn and the
pages were equally so, she opened the book and began to slowly
read. This was something that she would have never done if Adam had
not taught her how to read. She owed him so much and she knew that
there was only one way to repay his kindness and sincerity.



Ben laid his hand on Adam’s forehead to check for signs of fever.
Relieved that the fever no longer seemed to be a problem, he sat
down on the edge of the bed and called his son’s name. "Adam?
Adam? Can you hear me?"

Adam winced in pain as he began to stir. As he opened his eyes,
Adam was able to make out the still blurred image of his pa. "Pa?"

"Hello, son. How are you feeling?"

"My head still hurts a little, but I think I’m gonna live." Adam
truly despised being sick or injured. Years ago on the trail as
they traveled west, he often would try and downplay the times that
he was ill. However, Pa usually seemed to always be able to tell
when his son was sick and his deceptions were foiled.

"I’m going to have Hop Sing prepare you some more tea and broth.
Adam, do you remember what happened?" Ben knew that they would
eventually have to find out if Adam’s memory was returning.

Adam closed his eyes in concentration. "I remembering talking to
Shelby, and then I remember waking up this morning."

"You were unconscious for most of that time. Don’t push it, Adam.
You were having some problems with your memory earlier and I wanted
to be sure that they were returning." Ben placed a reassuring hand
on Adam’s arm, debating on whether to ask Adam the question that had
been gnawing away at his mind since they had found him the other
night. "Adam, can I ask you something?"

Adam sighed as he fought the fatigue that continued to consume
him. "Sure, Pa."

"The other night, you asked me a question about Marie. You wanted
to know if you had killed her too. Like I said, you were having
some problems remembering and you thought Marie was alive."

"I’m sorry, Pa. I hope I didn’t say anything to hurt you." Adam
had spent his life trying to spare his father from his grief. He
did not cherish the thought that he said something to force his pa
to remember the past.

"No, Adam. You didn’t hurt me. I didn’t realize how much you were
hurting. Adam, do you blame yourself for the death of your mother
and Inger?" Ben could see the barriers in Adam’s mind being erected
once again. The pain and the fever had crumbled his walls that had
been built in his mind to hide the guilt that constantly tore at
him. The realization of not being able to be in control of his
thoughts and his words was almost too much to bear.

"Adam?" Ben called to Adam through the haze that had seemed to
settle around his oldest son. "Adam, talk to me."

"Pa, I’m a little tired. Can we talk later?"

"Sure son. I just want you to know that you aren’t to blame. Your
mother and Inger both…"

"Pa? Please, not now." Adam reached out and squeezed his pa’s hand
as his emotions threatened to surface.

"Okay," Ben relented. "You have a visitor. Do you think you’re up
to it?"

"Who is it?" Adam asked, his voice teeming with exhaustion.

"Shelby." Ben watched as a smile came across his son’s face. "I
take that as a yes."

Adam nodded as his father walked over and opened the door. Ben
motioned for Shelby to come in. Shelby came over to the door with
the book still in her hand. "Take your time. I see that Eric and
Joseph made it home; I’ll be outside if you need me."

Shelby slowly walked over to Adam’s bedside and sat down. Her eyes
studied his handsome features, marred by bruises and gaunt from the
illness that he had been battling. "Hoss and Little Joe must be in
trouble; Pa used their real names." Shelby smiled at Adam’s keen
sense of observation and his dry humor. She had truly missed
hearing his voice.

"I think they ditched school today," she explained. "How do you
feel?" Shelby had so much that she wanted to tell him, but had no
idea where she should begin.

"Like I’ve been trampled by a bull." Adam noticed the familiar book
in her hand. It had been read so much that it was coming
apart. "What do you think?"

"Huh?" Shelby was momentarily confused by his question until he
looked towards the book. "Oh, I just started it."

Adam reached out and took Shelby’s hand. She tightened her grasp
when she felt how shaky and weak he still was. Leaning forward,
Shelby lightly kissed Adam on the forehead. As she pulled away, he
tilted his head up slightly, brushing her lips gently with his. A
single tear streamed down Shelby’s cheek, "There’s so much that we
have to talk about; I don’t know where to start."

"Come here," Adam said gently. Wincing slightly, he stretched out
his arms as he invited her into his embrace. Carefully, Shelby lay
down beside Adam and allowed him to simply hold her. In a manner of
a few minutes, she heard Adam’s breathing soften, indicating that he
was asleep. Shelby was content to lie beside Adam while he slept.
She found herself fighting to keep her eyes open as the events of
the day were beginning to take effect. Soon, Shelby drifted off to
sleep, wondering what the future would hold for the two of them.



"I see you boys made it home," Ben said as he walked out on the
porch.

"Yes, sir. We come straight home just like ya said, Pa." Ever the
one to keep peace within the family, Hoss answered in his most
respectful tone.

"So, what punishment did your teacher give you?" Ben crossed his
arms and leaned against the pole as he watched his sons slowly
dismount their horses.

"Well, we got a switch on the behind and we have to write a paper on
the importance of gettin’ a good education."

"I guess that’s a good start. However, you know the rules boys. If
you get punished at school, you get twice that at home."

Hoss and Joe looked at each other nervously. Little Joe stepped
forward, "But Pa, I don’t think you’re bein’ fair."

Ben arched his eyebrow in response to his youngest son’s
protest. "Oh really?"

"Hush Joe, we’re already in enough trouble," said Hoss as he glared
at his youngest brother.

Realizing Hoss was right; Joe quickly hushed and joined his brother
as they awaited their father’s punishment. "First of all, you boys
will continue to do your chores as well as Adam’s chores for the
next month. You will not leave this ranch except to go to school,
and you will return to the ranch as soon as school is over until I
decide that I can trust you two again. Not only will you complete
that essay for your teacher, you will write one for me as well on
why obeying your father is in your best interests. Each of you will
meet me in the barn for further punishment. Hoss, come with me.
Joseph, you stay right here and I will let you know when it’s your
turn."

Hoss dejectedly followed Ben into the barn. Personally, he thought
that he was getting too big for a whipping, but evidently Pa didn’t
agree. Joe watched for his brother to emerge from the barn, knowing
that he would have to travel the same path. A few minutes later,
Hoss came slowly walking out, rubbing his bottom. "Was it that
bad?" Joe asked as Hoss walked by him towards the house.

Hoss simply nodded as their pa yelled for Joe. Joe sighed, knowing
that he might as well accept what was coming to him. A few minutes
later, Ben and Joe walked out together. Tears streamed down Little
Joe’s cheeks as Ben put his arm around his shoulder. Putting his
other arm around Hoss’ shoulder, the trio went inside.

"You two get your homework done before supper and then you can visit
Adam. I’m going to go and see if he needs anything." Hoss and Joe
nodded their understanding and went to tend to their studies. Ben
gently opened the bedroom door and quietly entered. Surprise
flickered in his eyes as he saw Shelby in Adam’s arms and both of
them sound asleep.

Ben sighed as he quietly opened the door and slipped out of the
bedroom. He walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat
down. Closing his eyes, his pinched the bridge of his nose between
calloused fingers. The sight of Shelby and Adam in each other’s arms
was not what Ben had expected to see when he had went in the bedroom
to check on his son. Ben knew that Adam and Shelby were adults and
were capable of making their own decisions. He just hoped that they
would make the correct ones. He had promised not to interfere and Ben
was a man of his word.

His thoughts were interrupted as Hop Sing began to set the
table. "Dinner is ready. I will call boys." Ben nodded as he
silently longed for the day when his entire family would be together
at the table. Hopefully, in a few days, Adam would feel like joining
them. Ben truly missed his son’s sharp mind as Adam would talk about
a new idea to help the ranch become more efficient. However, Ben
also realized that he may not have many more opportunities to do so,
depending on what Adam decided. Ben continued to tell himself that
he would be prepared for whatever the outcome would be.

Hoss and Little Joe joined their pa at the table. The fact that
their pa was in deep thought about something did not escape the two
youngest Cartwrights. "Pa?" Hoss called out to his father
softly. "Pa? Ain’t ya gonna say grace?"

"Yes, Hoss. I’m sorry." Ben bowed his head and his sons followed
suit. "Dear Lord, we thank you for this food and the blessings you
have bestowed upon us. Most of all, we thank you for helping Adam
and I pray that you help him make the right decisions. Amen."

Little Joe and Hoss looked at each other with puzzled expressions on
their faces. "What kind of decisions are ya talkin’ about?" Little
Joe’s natural curiosity allowed him to ask the question that was on
the minds of both boys.

"There are a few things that Adam has to work out for himself," Ben
replied as he began passing the bread.

"Like if he’s gonna marry Miss Shelby?"

Ben froze as he cast his eyes on his youngest son. "Joseph, where
did you get an idea like that?"

"Well, Pa," Joe looked at his brother nervously in a silent plea for
help.

"We just heard some talk in town, that’s all." Hoss hoped that his
explanation would satisfy his pa.

"I thought that I had taught you boys that you shouldn’t listen to
idle gossip." Ben had hoped that his younger sons would have been
spared the wagging tongues of the town rumor mill. "What goes on in
this family is our business and ours alone. Adam is a grown man and
is responsible for what he does. Whatever decisions that Adam makes,
he will be supported by his family. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes sir," Hoss and Joe answered in unison. Dinner was eaten without
any further discussion of Adam and Shelby. Ben listened as Hoss and
Joe continued with their usual banter, hoping that he would able to
give Adam that support he spoke so freely of to his youngest sons.

Shelby slowly opened her eyes and focused on the sleeping form of the
man who held her in his arms. Her face flushed when she realized
that she had fallen asleep next to Adam. She had felt the weight of
the world had been lifted from her shoulders when he invited her into
his embrace. It was a feeling that she had was not familiar with and
one that she could get used to. Shelby sat up slowly, being careful
not to awaken Adam. Moving to the chair that was sitting by the bed,
she sat and watched him as he began to stir.

Adam winced as he tried to move, the sharp pain served as a reminder
that he was not completely well. Opening his eyes, he watched Shelby
as she lit a lantern beside his bed. "How do ya feel?" Shelby asked
as she blew out the match.

"I’ll be okay. How about you?"

"I’m fine. Adam, I know you’re tired but I think we need to talk.
Now, I just want ya to listen and not interrupt, or I may lose my
nerve." Shelby paused as she waited for Adam to agree to her
request.

Adam nodded, his eyes fixed on her saddened face. "Okay, only if
you’ll grant me the same courtesy."

"Fair enough, but I’m still goin’ first." Shelby released a breath
that she had inadvertently been holding and began to bare her soul to
the first man that she had dared to care about in many years. "I’ve
come to realize somethin’ Adam. As much as I may care about ya, I
can’t stand in your way. You’ve got a whole life before ya, one
that don’t include me. Now, before you think that I don’t care
nothin’ about ya, that’s where you’re wrong. I care so much about ya,
that I got to let ya go so you can be who you’re supposed to be.

"I can’t stand seein’ ya hurt because of me. Ya almost died and then
you would have never got to live your dream of goin’ to college. I
won’t let ya throw away your dreams for the likes of me." She
noticed that Adam had started to protest, but she gently placed her
hand over the bruised lips. "Ya promised. You’ll get to say your
peace in minute. Now, I ain’t felt this way about nobody in a long
time and this is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. We’re
gonna have to be satisfied with bein’ friends."

Adam reached up and took her hand and gently squeezed it. "Are you
through?"

Shelby nodded, averting her eyes as they glistened with fresh
tears. "For now."

Adam smiled at Shelby as he reached up and caressed her face. "I
have no intentions of giving up my dream of going to college. I was
thinking of asking you to come with me, but I knew that you
wouldn’t. However, I’m not completely ready to just act like nothing
ever happened between us and I don’t think you are. So, I’ll make
you a deal." Adam winced as he tried to sit up, the pain from his
ribs nearly taking his breath. Shelby placed several more pillows
behind Adam in order to help him be more comfortable and achieve the
sitting position that he desired.

"Thanks," whispered Adam, his voice breathless, laced with pain.

"Adam, maybe we should continue this later."

"No, just give me a minute." Adam closed his eyes as his breathing
returned to a more natural rhythm. "Now, about my deal. We take
things very slow, starting out as good friends and see where things
go. I still intend to go to college when I can raise enough money to
get there. But in the meantime, let’s not just give up completely."

"But Adam, people are still talkin’ and what about your pa?" Shelby
stood up and began to pace along side his bed.

"I’ve never been one to worry about what other people say and my pa
will have to accept it. I’m a grown man and I can make my own
decisions. I’m just asking that we take this chance and find out if
it’s right for us."

Shelby knelt down by his bedside and held his hand. "Adam, I’m
sorry, I can’t do this to ya."

"What are you talking about? Shelby, I’m not saying that things
would stay the same between us, but we’ve got to give it a chance."
As Adam studied Shelby’s eyes, he could tell that she was in her own
world of hurt. He reached out to pull her close, hoping that she
would gain strength and courage from him.

She allowed herself to be drawn into his arms, feeling safe and
secure. "Adam, I..." Shelby was surprised as Adam kissed her, her
desires threatening to overrule her rational judgment. They
reluctantly parted and she laid her head against his chest, ever
mindful of his injuries that were still healing. "Please, don’t make
this any harder on me than it already is. I know that you can’t see
it right now, but its for the best."

"The best for whom? Me? You? Pa? Who Shelby?"

Shelby sat up and looked into his pain filled eyes. She knew that
the pain she saw was not purely physical, but pain that she had
caused by turning him away. "Adam, I’m not worth you throwin’ away
your life for. Can’t ya see that? You could have any girl that ya
wanted, why would ya want to be stuck with me?"

"I think it’s my decision who I want to see. Shelby, if things don’t
work out, then I still would be able to say that I’ve gained a very
good friend. Please just don’t walk out on me without giving me a
chance. Like I said, we’ll take things very slow. People will get
used to seeing us together and the talk will die down. Things will
be okay."

Shelby leaned back into his embrace, silently contemplating what Adam
had said. She desperately wanted to believe him. "Do you promise
that when it’s time for ya to go college, that you’ll go and not let
me hold ya back?"

"It’ll be hard, but I promise. You know how badly I want to go and I
think that you want for me to go as well."

"I do. Adam, you’re one of the smartest men I know. You deserve to
get all the learnin’ that ya can." She sighed as she lay in his
arms. Shelby knew that it was going against her natural instinct to
trust men; however Adam Cartwright had become the exception. "All
right. We take it slow and see what happens."

Adam nodded as he smiled at Shelby. "Thank you," he simply replied.

"I guess I better go. I’ll drop by and see ya in a day or so. I
want ya to get some more of your strength back. I also think ya need
to talk to your pa." Shelby gently rose up and kissed him lightly on
the forehead. "Take care."

Adam smiled as he watched Shelby leave. He was truly happy with her
willingness to work things out with him. He knew that the road ahead
of them would be difficult, but he wouldn’t be traveling that road
alone. Exhaustion crept upon Adam as he lost the battle to the sleep
that wanted to overtake take him. He welcomed the slumber that
beckoned to him, knowing that tonight’s dreams would be sweet.



As Shelby stepped out of the bedroom, she quietly closed the door
behind her. Looking up, she found three sets of eyes staring at
her. Ben stood up, laying his napkin beside his plate. "Shelby,
would you care to join us for dinner?"

"No thanks, Ben. I’ve got to get back to town to the saloon. Some
other time." She made her way to the front door. She paused at the
door as she started to open it. "Ben, ya have an amazing man in
there for a son."

"I know. I know." Ben sat back down as Shelby walked out the door.

"Pa? What did she mean by that?" Hoss asked as he once again filled
his plate.

"It means that your brother is not my little boy any more." Ben
pushed back from the table and went into the bedroom where Adam was
once again asleep. He looked at the face of his son as he rested
peacefully. He was so young, but yet a man. Ben had always expected
so much of Adam and because of that fact, his oldest son had
forfeited much of his childhood. He did not have the opportunity to
discover who he was; he became, without complaint, the man that Ben
had expected him to be. He would now give Adam that chance to forge
his own place in the world.



Later that evening, Ben continued to sit by Adam’s bedside, waiting
patiently for his son to wake up once again. He did not care how
late it was; he needed to talk with Adam. Close to midnight, he saw
Adam stir slightly beneath the covers. A few moments later, Adam
opened his eyes to find his pa sitting by his side. "Hey Pa."

"Hey Adam. How are you feeling?" Ben reached out and felt of his
forehead to make certain that the threat of fever continued to remain
at bay.

"I’m gonna be okay, Pa. I’m just a little sore. I hope I didn’t
cause you a lot of trouble by being laid up." Adam had always
strived to require as little of his father’s attention as possible.
He truly despised being sick or hurt for fear that he would cause
trouble for his family.

Ben winced as Adam’s words echoed through his mind. "Adam, you’ve
never been any trouble and I’m sorry if I’ve ever given you that
impression. I’ve been forced to realize a few things during the past
several days. Somewhere along the line, you grew up into a fine
young man, and I missed it. I was always expecting you to be a man
and I never allowed you to be a boy."

"Pa, please don’t do this." Adam could not bear the thought of his
father having past regrets, especially if they were regarding him.

"Adam, I just want you to know how sorry I am for that and for not
allowing you to make your own decisions on certain things. I just
want you to know that whatever you and Shelby decide; I’ll support
you."

"I know, Pa. Shelby and I talked for awhile and agreed to take
things slowly. I hope that you can tolerate your son being the topic
of the town rumor mill for a while. We have to try and if things
don’t work out, we won’t have any regrets. Also, I’m not giving up
college and as soon as it works out, I still want to go. Shelby
wants me to as well; that’s something we both agreed on. She really
is something else."

Ben saw true happiness in his son’s eyes. It was something that had
been missing for so long. "She sure is. Son, I’m proud of you."

"For what?"

Ben swallowed nervously as he replied, "For standing by your
convictions. Shelby was right, you are an amazing man."

Adam felt his face flush slightly at his father’s praise. "Thanks,
Pa."

"There’s one more thing that I want to clear up. I don’t know if you
remember, but when you were having trouble remembering things, one
thing you didn’t remember was the fact that Marie was dead. Somehow,
you made it outside to go and look for her grave. Do you recall
that, son?" Ben watched Adam’s face for any recognition of what he
was speaking of.

"Not really. I don’t remember a whole lot of the past week or so."
Adam could not imagine having the strength to even get out of bed
when merely talking was exhausting.

"It doesn’t matter. However, you asked me a question and I think we
need to talk about it."

Adam knew that his father would find a way to bring this nightmare
back to the surface. "Pa, I’m kind of tired..."

"I know. I put it off once before, we need to clear it up now.
Adam, look at me." Ben waited patiently for his son to look at
him. "You were not responsible for your mother’s death, or Inger’s,
or Marie’s. Each of these women loved you very much. Don’t tarnish
that love by ill placed guilt.

"Okay, Pa." Adam knew that he was just attempting to placate his
father. No matter what anyone said, he would never be able to get
past the fact that he was to blame for the deaths of his mother,
Inger, and even Marie.

Ben realized that Adam was just trying to please him once again. He
also knew that unless Adam chose to talk about it, he would keep it
buried deep inside of him for a long time. He hoped that when this
particular pain came to the surface, that someone would be there to
help him face it. "It’s late. Get some more rest." Ben squeezed
Adam’s hand and then turned to leave.

As the door closed, Adam allowed the tears that he had been holding
back to freely flow. "I’m sorry, Pa. I’ll make it up to you
somehow." Adam closed his eyes, but sleep did not come easily this
time as his thoughts consumed his mind.

Two days later, Adam had insisted on getting out of bed. With Hop
Sing’s approval, Ben helped his son get out of bed and get dressed.
Standing behind him for support, Ben helped Adam slowly make his way
to the front porch. He sat down in a chair and absorbed the warm sun
as it glistened across the Ponderosa. Adam gratefully accepted the
cup of coffee that Ben handed to him. Enjoying a companionable
silence, they watched Joe and Hoss embark on their morning chores.

"You better enjoy this while you can. I have a feeling that your
brothers are just chomping at the bit for you to get better so you
can do your own chores." Ben took a sip from his own cup and then
set it down.

"I bet they are. Tell you the truth, I miss being able to get out
there and do them."

"Adam? I’m sorry to keep bringing this up, but do you remember
anything about being attacked?" Ben had told him about all that had
happened the past couple of weeks, hoping to spark his memory.

"Pa, as much as I despise Jack Wolfe, I really don’t remember even
seeing him. I’m sorry." Adam felt as if had disappointed everyone
by not remembering. "It wouldn’t be right to lie just so I could get
even with Jack."

"I know son. I don’t expect you to lie."

"Pa, I just want to put this behind me and go on with my life."

Ben nodded in agreement, smiling at his eldest son’s determination to
face the future. The attention of the two men was diverted as they
noticed someone coming up the road to the house. Adam smiled as he
recognized the rider. Slowly, he stood up, his father by his
side. "Shelby!"

Shelby smiled as she dismounted and then tethered her horse to the
post. "Adam, Ben." She turned her attention back to Adam. "It’s
good to see ya up and around."

"It’s good to see something besides those four walls. I’m glad
you’re here." Adam felt his legs begin to buckle beneath him. Ben
caught his son and helped him sit back down in the chair.

"I’ve got ya a present," Shelby said as she handed Adam an envelope.
She felt nervous under the scrutiny of Ben, but tried not to show
it.

Adam took the envelope and opened it. He pulled out a wad of cash
as well as a series of papers that were folded to hide its contents.
Adam opened the papers to reveal several college applications to
various colleges back east. "What is this?"

"I’m makin’ sure you keep up your end of the bargain," Shelby replied.

"Where did this money come from?"

"It seems that I owed you some back pay."

"Shelby, I can’t take this," Adam handed the money back to
Shelby. "Thank you for the applications though. Where did you get
these?"

"Your pa wrote off for ‘em." Shelby placed the money back in Adam’s
shirt pocket. "You can take this money. You earned it and I expect
ya to use it wisely."

Adam looked at Ben in amazement. "Pa, I don’t know what to say.
Thank you."

"Adam, you just go follow your dreams."

"Are you sure, Pa? There’s so much to do and..."

"There’s time. You have to send off those applications first. We’ll
take it one step at a time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I better see
what Hoss and Joe are doing. They’re too quiet." Ben walked towards
the barn leaving Adam and Shelby alone.

"You’re not trying to get rid of me, are you?" Adam asked with a
mischievous glimmer in his eye.

"Nope. Like I said, just making sure ya keep your end of our deal.
So, you better get busy fillin’ out them papers." Shelby sat down
beside Adam and gently took his hand. They both knew that whatever
was ahead of them; they could face it together. Whether they were
together or apart, there was a special place that each of them held
in their heart for the other. No matter what the years would bring,
they knew that they had a special bond that would not be broken.

The End