Remembering Inger
By Ella
"I remember the day your ma asked Pa to marry her."
Adam cast his line out into the pond, as if he’d just made a passing comment about the weather. Watching from the corners of his eye, he knew he'd landed the fish he was after.
Hoss’ mouth dropped open. He snapped it shut, then stammered over his tumbling thoughts, finally blurting, "She … she what? Are you sayin’ my ma did the askin'?" He shook his head emphatically, sweeping the notion away with a wave of his hand.
"Aw, you prob'ly jest don't remember it clear, Adam."
Adam laughed. "The memory is quite vivid, brother."
"Aw, but how can ya be sure? You were only a baby then. That’s what Ma said … uh ... one time … um … well … one time when she and me was talkin’."
Adam raised an eyebrow, but let the comment slide by, countering confidently, "I had just turned four when Pa and your ma began courting." A slow grin claimed Adam’s face. "Courting. I'll never forget the conversation I overheard between them the day they decided to get married. It was the evening of that day, and I was supposed to be sleeping, curled up on … on … Mama’s couch, but their conversation must have woken me. I kept my eyes closed though and listened.
I could hear the smile in Pa’s voice as he said, ‘Shortest courtship this town has ever seen, I’ll wager. But then, how many other women in your town have proposed to their men?’"
Again Hoss’ jaw dropped.
Adam chuckled. "Your ma got all flustered and red."
Hoss eyed his brother suspiciously. "I thought you said you had your eyes closed."
Scratching at the back of his neck, Adam admitted with a wince, "Um … I was peeking then, you see – squinting so it looked like I was still asleep. Besides, they were too busy watching each other to pay me any mind.
Anyway, Mama grabbed Pa’s arm and said, ‘Ben … I didn’t. I mean, I was just helping you say what you were trying to say (1). Oh, Ben, you mustn’t tell people I proposed to you. What will they think?’
Then …" Adam’s cheeks grew warm. "well … then Pa kissed her."
It was the first real passionate man/woman kiss I’d ever seen and I wasn't sure what to make of it. But I could tell they were both very happy and that made me feel good.
"Pa promised her he wouldn’t tell a soul … on one condition."
Hoss frowned. "What condition? Dang, I still can’t believe my ma is the one that done the askin’."
Adam kept his eye on his line, but his mind was beginning to drift back to days gone by. He shook himself loose though, aware of how intently his brother was watching him.
"Pa grinned devilishly, then said, ‘On the condition that you give me a kiss like that one, every morning and every night, once you become Mrs. Ben Cartwright.’
Your ma reached up and pulled his face to hers, willingly sealing the bargain with another long kiss … um … and … well … I closed my eyes then and went back to sleep."
Adam's line twitched and he hauled in his first catch of the day. The fact that Hoss didn't even notice told him he had his other fish well-hooked. After removing his catch from the line, he dug into their can of worms, allowing Hoss to collect his thoughts.
Wrinkles crawled over the round face.
"How come ya brought this up, Adam?"
Trapping the corner of his lip with his teeth, Adam considered the truth.
Should I tell him that Tess asked me to? That whole business with the Indian baby seems to have set her maternal instincts churning. She couldn’t believe Hoss had so little to say about his birth mother and she worried over whether or not he really knew enough about her. She made me promise to talk to him and share what I remembered about Inger.
Snagging a fat, wriggling worm from their supply, Adam briefly looked across at his brother, managing a casual shrug of his shoulders before he focused on baiting his hook.
"I don’t know. I guess … somehow … sitting here with you ... brought back the memory of the picnic Pa, your ma and I went on that morning. I showed your ma how to fish (2). And … well … I guess I just realized that you and I haven’t talked much about her before."
Hoss shook his head, alerted by the fact that Adam was now concentrating too hard on what was an almost instinctive process.
"No. It was Tess, weren’t it? She put the notion into your head, I'll bet. When we was fussin' over little Miracle, Tess was surprised, when I told her that Marie weren’t my mother. Guess … guess Pa don’t really tell people much about our past, lessin’ they ask. But then … I guess you don’t neither." Hoss nodded, as if convincing himself with some private argument.
He mumbled, "‘Spect that’s why Ma got involved when I had questions …"
Adam turned sharply. "What was that?"
Hoss licked his lips. "Well …"
"Are you saying Ma was the one who told you about Inger, not Pa? When was this, Hoss?"
It was Hoss’ turn to attempt a casual air. He’d let his fishing pole drop to his lap earlier when Adam began talking about Inger. He picked it up now to cast his line out, letting the moments tick away.
Pressing his lips together, Adam nodded, then asked firmly, "Hoss? What did Ma say to you about … about Inger? When did this happen?"
Hoss chewed at the inside of his cheek, regretting having spoken his earlier thoughts aloud. But he knew his brother wouldn’t let go of it now, so he surrendered.
"Well … it was … it was back just before Joe was born, Adam. Ya see … I … I kinda overheard somethin’ ... it was … when Ma and Pa was arguin’ one time. You and me had jest come home from somewhere, cause you wanted ta run off with one a your friends, and you had ta ditch me first."
Adam raised an eyebrow. "I ditched you? And just how did I manage that?'
Hoss glowered at him. "Same way you always done – through some sneakiness or other, I ‘spect. Prob'ly put the notion in my head that I was hungry. All I remember is that ya brung me home, then promptly left, makin’ me swear first that I'd remember ta tell Ma that you brung me all the way to the door."
Adam rolled his eyes. "So, then what happened?"
"Well, Pa was home fer his lunch, but I guess he was gettin’ indigestion instead. From the sound of it, it was a subject they’d been over before and Ma wasn’t happy about the fact that Pa was draggin’ his feet."
Hoss sighed. "Poor Pa … it weren’t easy for him – havin’ us along durin’ the hard times – was it, Adam?" Adam held out a hand, his eyes questioning, so Hoss tried to clarify his thoughts. "Havin’ … losin’ three wives ... and then … well … Pa had ta swallow a lotta hurt on account of us, didn’t he, Adam?"
Stretching out a hand, Adam squeezed his brother’s shoulder.
"Hoss, truth is, I think if it weren’t for us, Pa might have … well … I think the fact of us is what kept him going, when he lost each of our mothers. You know how he always tells us, ‘Don’t question what the Lord puts before you (3)?’" Hoss nodded. "Well, I think Pa says it as much to convince himself, as us, and it’s something he’s had to tell it to himself more times than he likes to think about."
Adam watched the emotions play over his brother’s face, finally seeing agreement in his features. He nudged gently, "So, what were Ma and Pa arguing about?"
Hoss frowned as the memory filled his mind.
"It scared me, them yellin’. I was still a little kid and hearin’ two folks ya love arguin’ that-a-way, I wanted ta run out the door and try and find ya. But somethin’ made me stay and listen.
Ma was real big – with Joe comin’ soon I ‘spect – and she was touchier than normal. Anyhow, she was hollerin’ and Pa was tryin’ ta tell his side, but she weren’t backin’ down ….
~~~~~~~~
‘He’s too young yet, Marie, to understand. I agree it’s something we need to talk about, but not now.’
‘Not now. When then?’ Marie threw her hands in the air. ‘This baby will be here soon, Ben. Erik will become a big brother, just as Adam became a big brother to him. Erik is bound to wonder about the other woman … the one who gave birth to him. Just as Adam wondered about Elizabeth, when Erik was born. I know that was hard on you, but – oh, Ben, please. It doesn’t have to be the same with Erik.’
Her tone softened slightly. ‘You’ve been through it once.’"
~~~~~~~~
Adam stood abruptly, jabbing his pole into the earth, to keep the line suspended. He walked several paces away, keeping his back to his brother.
Hoss reached out a hand, then dropped it helplessly.
"I’m sorry, Adam, but you … you done asked me. And … and that’s what they said."
Blowing out the breath he’d been holding, Adam nodded. "Yes, I know. I did ask …"
"We don’t have ta talk no more about it. Really."
Doing an about-face, Adam cut his hand through the air, shaking his head adamantly.
"Yes, we do. Your ma … she was a wonderful woman, Hoss. She was beautiful, inside and out. I’d like to know what Ma told you about Inger, but I know things about her too – things I think you should hear."
Hoss nodded willingly for his brother to continue.
"When Inger was swollen with you … I did start to think about my mother … about the fact that… that someone carried me … the way she was carrying you. It took until after you were born for me to spill it. I expect I should have asked her about it, but I asked Pa … and Pa …"
Sinking his teeth into his lip, Adam shook his head regretfully. After a moment he explained….
~~~~~~~~
Adam stood as if frozen to the ground, fear coursing through him as he watched his father’s face drain to white then flush to a deep scarlet. He knew his mother was in Heaven. His father had told him that, when he’d innocently asked where she was, one day on the trail. Something in the tone of Pa’s voice at the time told the boy not to pursue the issue further.
But after Inger had Erik, other questions trickled into Adam’s head. And Pa was so happy now, every day, with this beautiful woman who had joined them on their journey to this mysterious "West." Pa adored the new little boy she’d given him, increasing his joy all the more. Adam risked asking about his mother once more, but the look on Ben’s face told him again that he’d erred.
Suddenly, the boy turned, fleeing. He ran blindly, disregarding his father’s loud orders to stop. The Plains weren’t the place to run recklessly. They were wide open, and Ben knew if a child ran far enough, he could lose his way, become confused, without proper guidance or landmarks.
Adam ignored his father’s shouts, running until his little legs gave out beneath him. Soon after, the sound of approaching horse hooves warned him his father was coming to get him. He wished he could burrow into the earth and hide, but he sat up, bravely raising his head, to face what he knew would be nothing short of thunder on Ben’s face. To his surprise, he found himself gazing up into kind blue eyes.
Inger dismounted, knelt beside him, and pulled him to her. Adam pressed his face to her breast and began to cry. He wasn’t sure why he was crying or what good it would do, but he cried hard and Inger held him closer, rocking him gently.
‘Hush now, Adam, it’s all right. Everything will be all right.’
The boy moaned, ‘Pa … he …Pa ...’
A gentle hand stroked the dark head.
‘Your pa is sorry he upset you. Oh, Adam, he didn’t mean to scare you. You … well … you just caught him by surprise is all. Your pa wasn’t ready for your question. Please, Adam, give him another chance.’
Adam shook his head. He was confused, angry and sad – and all of it was rolled into a big knot in his little stomach.
Inger coaxed, in a voice that left the child little choice, ‘Please, for me?’
~~~~~~~~
Adam smiled weakly, admitting to his brother, "Your ma … she sure knew how to get me to do her bidding.’ He drew in a shaky breath, adding almost in a whisper, "But then, I doubt there was anything I wouldn’t have done for her."
Hoss asked cautiously, "So … you … you went back ta Pa and he sat ya down and talked about yer ma?"
Returning to his fishing pole, Adam tugged it from the earth and sat down on the bank. He sighed, shaking his head slowly.
"Actually, Mama talked to me for some time about Elizabeth, even though she really knew very little about her. But she had a way of … understanding deep inside someone, by just looking at them I think. She had a good sense of feelings – of what made a body tick, I guess. I suppose that’s why she was so good with animals too. She had a soothing way about her and could make them feel at ease."
Adam smiled. "Pa said that’s why you’re so good with calming animals when you’re doctoring them. You have your ma’s touch."
"He did?"
"Yep."
The two brothers studied each other for a moment before Hoss asked, "So … what did she say to ya, ‘bout yer ma?" He added quickly, "Ya don’t have tell me, if ya don’t want to."
Watching the water around his line now, Adam answered quietly.
"No, I want to tell you. I do." He swallowed, praying to keep his voice steady. This is one of the reasons Pa didn’t want to talk to me, I expect. He was afraid he’d cry and he didn’t want to upset me. Or perhaps he just didn’t want to open up the wound again.
"Like I said, she took whatever little bit Pa had shared with her and told it to me, the way she believed it was … but she tailored it for her audience. She had good instincts …."
~~~~~~~~
Inger set the boy on his feet and gently mopped his face with the handkerchief she kept tucked in her sleeve. His big blue eyes watched hers and she said a silent prayer that she could reach the child’s heart and fill it with good thoughts and feelings about the woman who had given everything to bring him into this world.
‘Your mother was a beautiful woman, Adam.’ She fingered the stray locks of hair on his forehead, then pushed them back into place. ‘Her hair was the same color as yours and she had a smile like yours too.’ Inger placed a finger lightly on his cheek. ‘How I love to see you smile.’
The boy rewarded her with a small one and she kissed the spot her finger had just warmed. ‘Your mother loved to read and when she couldn’t read, she made up her own stories, of all sorts – like you tell me sometimes. I enjoy those stories so much. And I know your little brother will, even before he can tell you so.’
Adam nodded as his eyes trailed up and down her face.
‘What else?’
Inger mirrored her son’s action, scouring the child’s face.
‘She was good with numbers.’ Adam’s expression clouded. ‘As you are. You’re doing very well with your lessons – with your reading and numbers.’ The corners of the boy’s lips turned up again. Inger stood up and lifted Adam into her arms. ‘Your mother loved you, Adam. And she wanted you to grow up to be a good man, that people will be proud to know, just like your father is.’
Adam hugged her neck and she hugged him back until she felt him start to pull away.
‘Mama?’
‘Yes, Adam?’
The child look deep into her eyes. ‘Will I grow up to be like you too?’
Inger pulled him close again, to hide her tears until she could blink them away. When she looked into his face again, her eyes were clear and filled with the truth.
‘Yes, you will be a little bit like all of your parents, Adam. That’s part of life … part of growing up. And I promise you, all your parents are proud of you now and of what you are sure to become when you grow up to be that man your mother dreamed about.’
The boy pointed toward the sky, his brow furrowing. ‘Even from up there?’
Running her hand down his cheek, Inger nodded. ‘Yes. Even though we can’t see the people who are in Heaven, they see us. And your mother is proud of you and she loves you. Just as I do, Adam. Just as I do.’
Adam kissed her cheek, but as he drew away this time, he sent a concerned look toward their camp.
‘We should go back to Pa. He’ll be gettin’ worried.’
Inger nodded, satisfied that he was content with what she'd told him.
‘Yes, we should.’ She put her son up in the saddle, then mounted up behind him. As they approached their wagon, Ben came towards them with Erik in his arms. Adam easily read his father’s face, saw how much more peaceful it was after Ben and Inger exchanged a silent message.
Once Inger was on the ground, she took the baby, and Ben reached for Adam’s hand. Father and son took a quiet walk to the nearby stream, to fill several canteens. When they reached the water’s edge, Adam knelt and sunk the vessel he was holding, to begin filling it. He spoke to the water and Ben listened carefully, the canteen in his own hands suspended in the air.
‘A boy is like his mothers and his father, when he’s little and when he’s big. Ain’t that so, Pa?’
Ben kept hold of his voice as he answered, ‘Yes, that’s right.’
Adam nodded. ‘I’m glad.’
Reaching out, Ben stroked that back of his son’s head, answering softly, ‘So am I, son. So am I.’
~~~~~~~~
Hoss sniffed and quickly wiped his nose on his sleeve, hoping Adam didn’t notice.
Adam was having enough trouble keeping his own eyes dry, relieved when both of their lines suddenly twitched. The two brothers brought in their fish, then attended closely to re-baiting their hooks.
Hoss finally broke the silence.
"Thanks, Adam, for … for tellin’ me that story. I know her a little better now. And you know somethin’?"
"What?"
"I know myself a little better now, too."
Adam nodded. "I’m glad."
Lines back in the water again, the brothers shared a few quiet moments. But Adam’s curiosity finally got the better of him.
"So … I … interrupted you before you could finish your story about Ma and Pa arguing … and all."
Hoss fidgeted with the bait can. "Yeah … I didn’t finish that, did I?"
"No."
"Well, bein’ a little kid, even though I tried ta be real quiet, somehow I guess I made some kind a noise, then I tried to cover it up and ‘fore ya know it, I stumbled inta the doorway …."
~~~~~~~~
Both parents turned, eyes widening when they met the blue ones swollen with fright, surprise and confusion.
Ben reacted first, his voice sharp.
‘Erik, what are you doing spying on your mother and I? And where is your brother?’
The child pointed lamely toward the front door. ‘Out.’
‘Out where? You and he were supposed to go to the market for your mother.’
‘Don't ... don't know, Pa. Erik hungry.’ He reached behind him and picked up the basket filled with the items Marie had asked them to purchase. He held it out towards her now. ‘I'm hungry, Mama.’
Marie leveled Ben with one of her famous glares, then suggested tightly, ‘You will be late getting back to work, if you don’t go now, Ben. I will take care of getting Erik his lunch. And I’m sure Adam can explain more clearly what happened when he returns.’
Ben frowned at his son, then turned to his wife.
‘Yes, I expect he will. And I'll expect that explanation when I come home this evening.’ He looked down again at his youngest son.
‘You be a good boy for …your mother … son.’
Erik nodded, agreeing obediently, ‘Okay, Pa.’
Ben knelt down and smiled gently at the boy. He reached out to stroke Erik’s blond curls.
‘That’s my boy.’
Blushing, Ben rose. ‘Yes, good boy.’ He hurriedly kissed Marie and left the house.
Marie sighed and shook her head at the now empty doorway. When she looked down on Erik, the creases in her forehead softened and she spoke to him quietly.
‘Your ma and pa scared you, didn’t they?’
The boy shook his head, nodded, then shook his head again.
‘No, Mama.’
Marie took his hand, then led him over to the table to sit him down. She placed another chair near his and eased herself into it. Taking the boy's hands, she encouraged, ‘It is all right, Erik, for you to tell the truth. Mama won’t scold you for telling what you heard or what you’re thinking. You must never be afraid to talk to Mama or Pa when you have something you want to ask.’
Brow furrowing, Erik responded carefully.
‘Yelling.’
Marie nodded regretfully. ‘Yes, Mama and Pa were yelling.’
Nibbling his lip, the boy volunteered, ‘Other lady?’
‘Um … yes … we were talking about another lady. Do you know who that lady was?’
Erik shook his head, but his eyes drifted to Marie’s swollen middle. He reached out hesitantly and Marie smiled, then guided his hand to touch the area where the baby had just kicked her. With her hand on his, she watched Erik’s face until she felt another kick. The boy grinned.
‘Baby.’
‘Yes, that’s Mama’s baby. And when the baby comes out, you’ll be a big brother.’
Erik shook his head. ‘Adam is the big brother.’
‘Yes, Adam is your big brother, but you and Adam will both be big brothers to this little baby.’
Face growing very serious, Erik insisted, ‘Adam is a good big brother. He brung me all the way to door, Mama.’
Marie patted the little hand still on her belly. ‘Yes, he is. And I’m glad to know he brought you home safely, before …’ she frowned, ‘before running off again without telling me where he was going.’
Erik shook his head. Adam would have to deal with that part himself. He’d done as his big brother asked, after all.
‘Erik?’
The boy shot his attention to Marie’s eyes. ‘Yes, Mama?’
‘Is there anything you want to ask Mama, about the baby … or maybe about when you were a baby?’
Eyeing the large ball beneath his mother’s dress, the boy shook his head. He patted himself in the chest.
‘Erik will be a good big brother, too.’
Marie nodded. Perhaps I am the one who is wrong. Perhaps Erik is not yet curious about the "other lady". And if that is so, then it is not something to push on him. When he is ready, I can only hope I have made him feel that he may ask. And when he asks, I will tell him what I can. By then, I hope his father will be ready to talk to him as well.
~~~~~~~~
Adam raised an eyebrow. "So … you didn’t talk about her then?"
Hoss shook his head. "No, but I remembered what Ma said … about that I shouldn’t be scared ta talk to her about what I was thinkin’. It was when Joe was nearly five, ‘fore I got around to it, Adam. Pa weren’t home and you had taken Joe out, cause Ma needed a break. I was sick with a cold and she wouldn’t let me go. She was fussin’ over me some, and somehow I got ta thinkin’ ‘bout that day in the kitchen. Guess she saw somethin’ in my expression and she asked what was on my mind…."
~~~~~~~~
Stirring his broth with the spoon Ma had just handed him, Erik studied the steam rising out of his bowl.
‘Erik? What is it?’ Marie sat on the edge of his bed and reached out to touch his cheek.
He didn’t look at her at first, then raised his eyes tentatively.
‘Ma? Do you remember … do you remember when I was a little kid, before Joe was born? I come home … and you and Pa was arguin’ ‘bout a lady.’
Marie kept her eyes steady on her son’s face.
‘Yes, I remember … and I hoped … that one day you and I could finish the conversation I tried to start with you that day in the kitchen. And … I think your … your mother would like it if we finished that conversation too, son.’
Erik pulled at the corner of his lip with his teeth.
‘Are ya sure, Ma? I mean … you’re my mama that raised me up, not her … but she was my ma … and … well … I would like ta know … what she looked like … and … what she thought of me … and all … ‘fore she … ‘fore she had to go away.’
Marie could feel her eyes tearing, but hurriedly blinked until her eyes were dry.
‘Of course you do. That’s only natural, Erik. And you should know about her. I’ll tell you all I can. All right?’
The boy nodded, then sipped his broth, his eyes never leaving the dark ones looking kindly upon him.
Reaching out again, Marie lightly touched his hair, then let her fingers trail down the boy’s face before letting her hand fall back into her lap.
‘You have your mother’s hair color and her eyes were laughing and bright blue, like yours. I don’t doubt for a minute that you have her sense of humor. She had a beautiful laugh … one that was good medicine for your father and brother. She brought happiness to them, Erik. And she brought you to them, something for which they … and I … will be forever grateful.’
Erik ate up the words greedily, round eyes asking for more. Marie wished her husband was home, to help her feed this suddenly voracious boy, but she drew on what knowledge she had about Inger, and on what she surmised about the woman from whom this boy surely got so many of his characteristics.
‘Your ma loved your pa. She knew him for a very short time, but in that time she realized she was destined to become part of his life. Inger loved your brother too and knew that loving your pa was only part of what life had in store for her. Adam took to her, as if she’d been his mother from the start and Inger responded by loving him as if it were true. She was a gentle woman and she had a real gift for reaching out to others and making them feel special. Your mother was a good woman, in here.’ Marie touched Erik’s chest.
‘She’s proud of you, Erik, and she’d tell you that, if she could. But you must believe me, because I know that about her, if I know nothing else.’ Stroking the boy’s head, she leaned forward to place a kiss on his forehead. ‘And her love for you is just a real.’
~~~~~~~~
The brothers found themselves blinking hard again, to dry moist eyes. Fate brought them two more fish to attend to and they busied themselves with the task.
"You think this’ll satisfy Hop Sing, Adam?"
Adam surveyed their booty. A mischievous smile claimed his lips. "Depends on how hungry you are, brother."
Hoss scowled. "Well, I guess maybe we better see if we can’t rustle us up another couple then."
With an appreciative chuckle, Adam agreed, "Yes, that was my feeling as well."
They baited their hooks and tossed the lines back in the water.
Hoss hesitated, then asked, "What else, Adam? What else do ya remember about her?"
Adam’s forehead crinkled. As Hoss pointed out, I was so young then … and I don’t remember everything about those days with her. Pa could fill in more of it … if you’d ask him. But surely I can think of something else that I could share without … without it hurting too much. Ah … yes …
A smile played on Adam’s lips and his blue eyes were sparkling with mischief when he turned to answer his brother.
"She liked to tell me secrets … just when she knew Pa was listening at a convenient distance – like from the other side of the wagon, when he was greasing the wheels or some such thing."
Adam winked. "But she knew he’d be listening. She’d wink at me, letting me know she was up to no good and I’d clap my hand over my mouth, to keep from laughing, all the while watching her eyes. They’d sparkle and dance. Your ma … she … well … she really enjoyed the memories of her childhood. She liked sharing them with me and Pa. This particular day, we were stopped from traveling because someone else in the train had repair to do on their wagon. The whole party was secretly glad for the rest though. Wagon master Rockwell (4) had been driving us too hard – well, that’s what your ma thought. I heard her telling Pa one night, after they’d tucked me in.
Anyway, we were taking advantage of the rest. You were asleep on a blanket beside Mama and I had just finished my lessons. She said I deserved a reward, because I was reading beautifully….
~~~~~~~~
'Tell me a story, Mama.'
Inger smiled at the boy, reaching out to push a few stray hairs away from his eyes.
Adam got a conspiratorial look on his face as he pointed silently to the other side of the wagon. He could see Pa’s feet there.
With a nod, Inger asked a bit loudly, ‘Oh? What kind of story?’
Adam answered just as loudly. ‘’Bout when you were a girl – with Gunnar … um … Uncle Gunnar.’
Eyes brimming with mischief now, Inger continued to talk just loudly enough for the other set of ears as she suggested, ‘You like the ones about our Sunday adventures, don’t you?’
Eyes alight with anticipation now, Adam nodded eagerly. Inger stifled a giggle, aware that her husband’s activity on the other side of their wagon had ground to a halt.
‘Well … let me think …’ She reached over to tuck the light cover over Erik a bit more snuggly around him.
‘Ah … yes … here is a story I know you (two) will enjoy. Mama and Gunnar had been to church and now were free to roam the rest of the day. We did not work in the fields on Sunday. So … off we went, to run along the river, in hopes of finding some of the wild strawberries we so loved to eat (5).
But before we found the strawberry patch, we met some friends – neighbors – Jenson and his sister Kariana. They were our ages, but reversed – that is, Jenson was my age and Kariana was my brother Gunnar’s age. Anyway, we played together a lot and … well … I guess we got in trouble a lot too.’
Adam covered his escaping laughter, but Ben must have heard it, as Inger caught the distinct sound of her husband clapping a hand over his own mouth. Her eyes danced in response.
Inger raised a warning finger, trying to make her expression match what she hoped was a serious voice. ‘Now, mind you, Jenson was a real instigator. Yes. He had a very active imagination and was always coming up with ideas of how we might amuse ourselves. Certainly, Gunnar and I would have been quite content, eating those strawberries we’d come in search of that day.’
Adam nodded. He was sure that must be true. Ben, on the other hand, sneezed – or at least Adam took it as such. Inger cleared her throat in the direction of the noise, then returned her attention to round, waiting blue eyes looking up at her.
‘Yes … well … we let Jenson have his say, so he told us he knew of this place, you see, an abandoned hut farther down river. Jenson said it was haunted by some spirit – the ghost of a woman everyone called Madame Swenson. She had lived there a hundred years ago and everyone around back then came to her for advice. Jenson said that on certain days of the year, she returned to live in her house. Well … Gunnar and I wanted to meet this smart lady ghost.’
Adam frowned.
‘What’s the matter, Adam? Don’t you think we should have gone with Jenson?’
The boy considered the question, then asked, ‘Was she a bad lady or good?’
‘Oh, good. She gave very helpful advice.’
Giving an agreeing nod, Adam encouraged, ‘You should go see her.’
‘Yes, and that’s what we decided.’ Inger tipped her head to one side. ‘Actually, it was Gunnar who wanted to go, but I … I always had a hard time refusing him. That happens sometimes, you see, when the older brother or sister knows better. Sometimes they can’t help but give in to the younger ones. But when this happens, it is their fault, for not doing what they know they should, even if it was the littler one’s idea.’
Inger looked down on Erik then and touched his fine blond hair. She whispered, ‘Who could imagine that such an innocent babe could eventually become an instigator?’
Adam shook his head. ‘He won’t, Mama. I’ll make sure.’
~~~~~~~~
Hoss hooted with laughter, nearly losing himself and his fishing pole into the pond.
Adam glared him. "I guess your ma was trying to warn me about my future. I just wasn’t experienced enough at that point to completely understand what I was in for."
Hoss huffed. "Well … I don’t know what yer tryin’ ta say here, Adam, but I shore weren’t no instigator. YOU have that honor, brother. And don’t you try to deny it!"
Adam rolled his eyes toward the clouds. "Well, we won’t debate this now – unless you’d rather I skip this story."
Shaking his head, Hoss hurriedly answered, "No. I’d much rather hear the story, than tryin’ ta win an argument with a stubborn mule." Adam raised an eyebrow and Hoss put on his most contrite expression. "Aw, please, Adam, go on with the story."
With a satisfied, if not smug, look on his face, Adam nodded and returned to the past ….
~~~~~~~~
Inger smiled lovingly at her big little boy.
‘Yes, I know you will watch out for him. You will be a fine big brother, of that I have no doubt."
Adam nodded, but his impatience showed in his eyes. Inger’s smile grew.
‘Yes, the story. So we went, letting Jenson lead the way. Karianna and Gunnar held hands and chattered back and forth. I walked alongside Jenson, but began to grow worried when I realized how far down river this hut was, as I didn’t want to be late getting home. Jenson laughed at me.’ Inger shook her head. ‘When someone laughs the way he did, a child would be smart to think twice about what he or she was getting into.’
Adam frowned again.
‘Yes, you’re right. I should have taken Gunnar’s hand and turned us back towards those strawberries, but on we went and when we spotted the old hut, our curiosity got the better of us. Even though it was a hundred years old, the cottage still looked in good shape. There was a small garden just outside the door, filled with herbs and some flowers I’d never seen before. I admired them on the way passed, but Jenson hurried me toward the front entrance.’
‘Mama, did you see the lady? Was she a ghost?’
Inger’s face took on a knowing expression. ‘Do you know about ghosts, Adam?’
The boy nodded, his face telling her he was quite sure of his facts. ‘Oh, yes’m. This man we met one time … he told Pa and me all about ‘em. They can be real sneaky, some of ‘em, but there’s others that can be a real help. Just like regular people.’
The boy looked suddenly worried. ‘Was the boy tellin’ ya the truth? Was this lady ghost the good kind or bad kind?’
Ben’s voice startled both of them as he came around the wagon and put in his two cents.
‘I’ll wager that your mama didn’t get the chance to find out, because this young Jenson was playing a trick on her.’
Adam nearly jumped out of his skin, almost toppling from the rock he was using for a seat.
‘Pa, ya scared me.’
‘Sorry, boy, but I … I happened to overhear your mother talking and wanted to hear the story too.’
Adam patted the place next to him. ‘There’s room here, Pa, for you ta sit.’
Sharing a smile with Inger, Ben accepted his son’s generous offer.
‘Go on, Mama, please. What happened?’
Inger smiled indulgently at her son and continued, unwilling to give Ben any hint that he might be right in his supposition.
‘When we went inside, the table was set with tea, still warm, and cups for all of us. I was a bit nervous about sitting down, but Jenson insisted that this was what the woman did, before she came out and talked to her guests. I was so nervous, I could barely take even a swallow. However, Gunnar began to get bored with the whole tea party and demanded the ghost come out or we were leaving.’
Inger shook her head. ‘Your Uncle Gunnar was never very patient.’
Adam was trying to be, but his eyes told Inger he was losing the battle.
‘We heard a noise at the back door and Gunnar jumped up from his place and ran to fling it open. There stood a woman, wearing a long white dress, gloves and a veil, so it was impossible to see her face or hands. Still, even in my awe, I thought something looked familiar about her.’
Adam glanced up at his father, who was hanging on his wife’s every word.
‘So what happened, Mama?’
Ben echoed, ‘Yes, what happened? Who was this mysterious person?’
Inger could barely keep in her laughter, looking at the matched expressions on the faces of father and son.
‘I happened to glance down at the ghost’s shoes and recognized them instantly – they were ones I’d worn myself, when my girlfriend Alexandra and I played at the house of a woman my mother knew. The lady had a whole trunk of old clothes she’d inherited from an aunt and those shoes were my favorite. Once I’d identified the shoes, I realized the dress and gloves and all the rest of the outfit were from the same trunk.’
Ben interrupted, ‘So, who was the girl?’
Adam burst into laughter, at the expression on Inger’s face.
‘Really, Ben, you’re impossible.’
Adam only laughed harder, as his father tried to look ashamed of himself.
Erik began to fuss, and Inger picked him up.
‘Mama, please, don’t let Pa spoil it.’
Ben’s mouth dropped open, but before he could say anything, Inger interrupted, her eyes scolding and laughing at her husband in one glittering moment. She turned to the little boy.
‘Yes, I’ll finish now. You see, Adam, the girl pretending to be a ghost, wasn’t a girl at all. It was Jenson’s friend Peter.’ She looked to Ben as she answered the question on his lips. ‘Something about the way he tilted his head gave him away.’ She laughed, bringing a big grin to Adam’s face, as her laughter always did. ‘How he got talked into wearing the dress, I never found out, but I bent down and whispered what I’d figured out into Gunnar’s ear and his eyebrows arched, but only I saw his reaction. Then he whispered back to me, and it was all I could do not to laugh, but when I stood up, I looked very seriously into the "ghost’s" eyes. The eyes looked back at me through the veil and I wonder to this day how Peter or Jenson managed not to laugh either.
I said, making my voice sound really worried, "Oh, Madame Swenson, can you help me, I have a terrible dilemma." That’s problem, remember, Adam?’
The boy nodded.
‘Then I said, "Tell me, what can I do?’
Inger began to laugh as she explained, ‘Then Peter, playing the ghost woman, answered in this very high, lady-like voice, but sort of scary sounding. And he said, "Tell me your troubles, child, I know I can help you."’
Adam and Ben were sitting on the edge of the rock now, leaning toward their storyteller.
With all her will power, Inger got control over the hysterics trying to take her, continuing, ‘Then I told the ghost, "This boy I know is wearing a dress. How ever will I keep myself from telling all his friends I’ve seen him dressed this way and how silly he looked? And whatever will his father say, when he finds this out?’
Ben and Adam fell against each other laughing, giving Inger the chance to have a good laugh as well. But when they got themselves under control again, Adam asked, ‘What did that boy do?’
Inger wiped tears from her cheeks, still trying to catch her breath.
‘Well, I grabbed Gunnar’s hand and we ran out the door, both of us laughing so hard we could barely move our legs properly, but soon the boys were running after us, though Peter was having a terrible time of it, in his long dress. But finally they caught us and Gunnar and I stood side-by-side and looked at the pair of them.’
‘Did you tattle on them, Mama?’ Adam looked a bit worried as he asked this question.
Eyes shifting from father to son, Inger smiled. ‘Well of course, I would never really tell any of their friends or the boy’s father, but I had to get them back for playing the trick – and a good trick it was, wasn’t it?’
Ben and Adam nodded in unison, then Ben spoke for both of them, ‘And so was yours.’
~~~~~~~~
Hoss’ grin spread to his ears. "That there was a good story, Adam. My ma sounds like … well, she would have been a real fine gal ta grow up with … and … and she would have made a right fine ma, too."
Adam nodded, pushing away the solemn mood those words started coursing through him. He’d done a good thing today, sharing his memories with his brother. He refused to spoil it all, thinking of what might have been. Don’t question what the Lord puts before you.
Their lines jerked their attention to the water and the brothers hauled in two more fish. Adam kept the mood light, commenting, "Well, I think we’ve got enough to feed you now, brother. What’s say we head home, so Hop Sing can do these up right?"
Hoss stood then offered his brother a hand up. "Yep. I’ve worked me up quite an appetite, sharin’ all these stories." His eyes grew soft. "Thanks, Adam. Thanks a whole bunch."
"And thank you, Hoss. It was good … to remember her. And … I think you should give Pa a chance to share some stories too sometime. I think he’d enjoy talking about her too."
***
As the family members dispersed to their own separate pastimes after dinner that night, Adam headed out to the barn, to do the evening barn chores. It was a moonless night and upon returning, he walked slowly back, having left his lantern in the barn. As he neared the house, he heard Pa’s voice on the porch and he stopped to listen for a moment.
"I remember the day your ma asked me to marry her."
Hoss chuckled. "Aw, Pa, are you sure ya ain’t joshin’ me?"
There was a smile in Ben’s voice as he answered, "No, son, I’m not joshin’. Your ma did the asking … and I’m glad she did. So very glad she did."
Remaining in the shadows, Adam took a seat on the edge of the porch and continued to listen.
So am I, Pa. So am I.
The End.
(May 28, 2006)
Special thanks to Kathryn, for her proofreading.