Truly Blessed

By Marion

Autumn in the Sierras is a beautiful time of year. The weather gets a little cooler, the leaves start to change and all around us everything is getting ready for the long winter.

Leastways, people tell me it's a beautiful time of year. Honestly, we're so busy that I don't have time to notice anything around me. There is something about the coming of winter that turns my Uncle Ben into a slave driver. We work morning, noon and night. I haven't been off the ranch in more than a month, not even to attend church. We're just so tired by the time Sunday rolls around that we take the day as the Lord intended and we rest. Well, Joe and I have to read our Bible verses, but then we rest, after chores.

I could tell I was very tired when, one Sunday, Uncle Ben told a story about goats and sheep standing before Jesus. Jesus told the sheep that they had feed and clothed him even though they didn't know it so they would get to go to Heaven. The goats didn't get to go to Heaven because they didn't clothe and feed people in need, so they had to go to Hell. Joe and I just couldn't understand why Jesus would send goats to hell and sheep to Heaven. Uncle Ben kept trying to explain it to us, but he finally gave up. Sometimes I just wish Jesus didn't talk in parables but would just come right out and say what he meant. It would be a lot less confusing. Fortunately I wasn't so tired that I said that out loud.

Joe and I worked with Uncle Ben on the haying while Adam and Hoss went on the cattle drive. Uncle Ben also hired Beth's brothers to help cut the hay, as he didn't want Joe or I to swing a scythe. I appreciated that, but Joe was angry with his father. Have I mentioned how short-tempered Uncle Ben is this time of year? Joe didn't get too far in his argument before Uncle Ben hinted that he'd start swinging something other than a scythe if Joe didn't hush. Joe hushed. Uncle Ben had no objection to us using the big forks to get the hay into the wagon, though. My arms ached for days after we were done.

I had hoped to go back to school when the haying was done but the night Uncle Ben told me I was done with my part of the haying, he also told me I'd start working with Hop Sing the next morning.

"But Uncle Ben, you said I could go to school when the haying was done." Joe made a face. He just can't understand why I love school so much.

"I know, Annie, but Hop Sing needs your help."

I couldn't stop myself. I started to whine. "But, Uncle Ben, I was looking forward to seeing everyone. I want to go to school!"

He rubbed his eyes. That was my warning that he was tired and didn't want to argue, but did I pay attention? Of course not! "Annie, we're all tired and we'd all rather be doing something else, but right now that's not an option."

I stood up and stamped my feet. "Uncle Ben, you're not being fair! I just want…"

The next thing I knew, I was standing by the wash area with Hop Sing's nasty tasting soap sitting in my mouth. Uncle Ben was looking down at me.

"Young lady, children do not raise their voices to me. Do you understand?

My mouth was full of soap, so I just nodded. I was so glad I had already eaten supper; the taste of that soap lingers for a long time. Every time I taste the soap, and I've tasted it a lot in the past year, I wonder if Hop Sing makes it taste bad on purpose.

"Annie, I think you could use an early night tonight. Rinse your mouth and go to bed. I'll be in to say good night in a few minutes."

I nodded again and rinsed my mouth. "Yes, sir."

I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for Uncle Ben. I knew he'd want to talk again and I didn't really want to. Still, I could sit comfortably on the edge of my bed. I was lucky. I just don't know what I was thinking when I yelled at him.

I stood as soon as Uncle Ben came into the room. "Uncle Ben, I'm very sorry I was so disrespectful. I guess I'm just tired."

He picked up my brush and sat on the bed. I sat with my back to him and he brushed my hair. Unbraided, it fell almost to my waist.

"Annie, I know how much you enjoy school and I'm sorry that you have to wait another week, but now that you and Joe are older, we count on you to help the family. Hop Sing especially asked for your help because he knows you're a hard worker."

That made me feel good. I was contributing to the family; they needed me as much as I needed them. I guess I wasn't any different than my friends. I miss having a girl to talk with, but I know they are just as busy. At least Beth is, to hear her brothers speak. But, I'll be in school next week and I'll see them all then.

Hoss and Adam returned home around lunchtime the next day. They were so full of stories about the drive that no one else could get a word in edgewise. Honestly, if I had to hear one more story about how good Hoss was at rounding up strays or about how Adam negotiated a great price, I was going to scream. Am I the only one in this house who realizes how boring cows are? I must be. Still, it was nice to have Adam and Hoss home and not just because it meant fewer chores for Joe and me. They brought presents for Joe and me, and it wasn't even our birthdays or Christmas. Adam picked out a new book about horses for Joe, and Hoss picked out some fabric for me to make a new dress. I was surprised at how pretty it was. I mean, Hoss isn't really known for his fashion sense. Adam told me later that the girl in the store helped Hoss pick it out. That made it even more special because I know how much Hoss doesn't like to talk to girls he doesn't know.

A few days later, Adam, Uncle Ben and I went to town. I had saved my allowance and I wanted to buy some trim to go with the fabric that Hoss had bought. I was so excited to go to town – I was hoping to see someone that I knew, someone who could talk about more than cows and getting ready for the winter. I was in luck. Beth was in town and she helped me do my shopping. We talked about clothes and books and never once mentioned cows or chores. It was so wonderful to see a friend that I ignored Adam when he started calling me.

"Annie, Pa's going to be back soon, c'mon."

I stopped talking to Beth long enough to tell Adam "I'll be there in a minute" and I went back to my conversation. It's always this way. I never get to see my friends and when I do, it's 'hurry up', 'c'mon', and 'Pa's going to be mad.' But if we see a friend of Adam's, we always have plenty of time to chat. Well, today I was going to take some time. Of course, Adam didn't seem to understand that. He was back quickly.

"Annie, Pa's on his way, you'd better come now."

Doesn't he pay attention? I turned to him. "I said I'd be there in a minute." He sure didn't pay attention because not two minutes later, I felt him put his hand on my shoulder. "Annie…"

Now I was getting mad. Adam was turning into such a nag. "I said I'd be there in a minute!" I said irritably as I turned and slapped his hand away. I felt sick as soon as I realized that I hadn't slapped Adam, but that I had slapped my uncle instead. Uncle Ben grabbed me by the upper arm and stalked out the door, dragging me along. He just about threw me in the wagon seat and then climbed up next to me. He looked about as angry as I've seen him in a long time.

"The next time I have to fetch you after Adam calls you twice, you'll ride home standing."

I looked at my feet. "Yes, sir." I was embarrassed when Adam climbed next to me just in time to hear my uncle's reprimand.

I'll admit it, I sulked. Then I pouted. I sat as far away from my uncle as I could, which wasn't too far, considering that I was squished between Uncle Ben and Adam. When I was done pouting, I sulked some more. Then, just in case someone had missed how angry I was, I started kicking at the floor of the wagon. I wasn't paying much attention to what I was doing and suddenly my foot came down on top of my uncle's foot. Considering how little I am, and considering that he was wearing boots, Uncle Ben didn't feel any pain. What he did feel was anger. He pulled the horses to a halt, threw on the wagon brake and turned to me. "Young lady, if you keep up this attitude, you and I will have a very necessary talk when we get home. I won't tolerate it and you know it."

I could fell the tears starting to well in my eyes. "Yes, sir," I whispered. I glanced a minute at Adam and was upset to see a slight smile on his lips. It wasn't fair! I went back to pouting, but quietly, so no one would notice.

We pulled into the yard and Uncle Ben helped me down. He didn't let go of me until I looked up. He still looked angry. "Anna, go to your room. I will be in directly."

I nodded. "Yes, sir." What else could I do? Uncle Ben gave me a swat to send me on my way. Hoss calls them the "there's more where that came from swat" and I didn't doubt that there would be more coming my way soon. I headed into the house, smiled a little at Hop Sing when he said hello and headed into my room. I could see him shaking his head; he'd seen me in trouble enough to know what was happening.

I sat on my bed. What had I been thinking, slapping my uncle like that? It's a wonder he didn't tan me right in the middle of the town. I wouldn't make it any better with him if I said I thought it was Adam. I'm supposed to mind Adam, too, and although Uncle Ben's never actually said I couldn't, I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to hit Adam. Well, I suppose strictly speaking I'm not supposed to hit anyone. I jumped up when Uncle Ben came in without knocking. I guess that just showed how angry he still was.

"Uncle Ben, before you say anything, I want to apologize for slapping you. That was inexcusable, I know, and I'm sorry. I will also apologize to Adam as soon as I see him again."

That seemed to take away a lot of his anger. He nodded and sat in my chair. He didn't say I could sit down, though, so I stayed standing. I had learned long ago that I was expected to standing during a lecture.

"Do you want to explain what happened in town today?"

I nodded as I thought about how to answer the question. "I was talking with Beth and Adam came in to tell me it was time to leave."

"And did you listen?"

"Well, I was just trying to finish what I was saying to Beth and…"

Uncle Ben interrupted. "According to Adam, he told you twice that it was time to go."

"Yes, sir, he did. But…"

He interrupted again. If I had kept interrupting, I would have been in trouble, but I wasn't about to say anything. "What have I said before about obeying Adam?"

This wasn't going well. "I'm supposed to obey Adam as I would obey you, but Uncle Ben…"

"I hope I never have to tell you something twice."

"No sir, but…" I could tell he was about to interrupt again, so I stamped my foot. "You're not letting me explain! Why won't you ever listen to me?"

I think the whole world got quiet then. Even the birds stopped singing and I covered my mouth as if I could take the words back. His eyes got real dark and he stood up. "I think you need some time alone, young lady. You stay in your room until I call you for chores. I don't want to see you reading in here, either. You sit right on that chair and think about how lucky you are that you can sit in that chair." He turned on his heel and left my room. He didn't close the door, so I guessed it was supposed to stay open.

I sat for hours until I heard my uncle calling me. He didn't look much happier with me than when he had left my room and I vowed to keep my mouth shut and get my chores done.

I helped Hop Sing start supper and then I hurried out to do my share of the barn chores. Adam and Hoss did the heavier chores, but Joe and I had to feed the horses, clean out the stalls and make sure the barn was tidy before supper.

As I approached the barn, I could hear my cousins laughing about something. They sure were having a good time while doing their chores! The laughter stopped as I entered the barn. All three of them looked at me before turning back to their work.

"Please, don't let me interrupt your fun. I'm sure it's at my expense."

Adam turned back towards me. He looked really annoyed. "We were laughing at a story Hoss told, Annie. We weren't laughing at you."

I could hear Hoss mutter, "Yeah, you ain't been that funny lately."

"Shut up, Hoss."

Next thing I knew Adam had grabbed my arm and started shaking me. "Annie, you've been a real crank lately. I'm sick of it, Hoss is sick of it, Joe's sick of it and most importantly, Pa's sick of it. I'm warning you, you keep this up and you'll be in a lot of trouble."

I could feel the tears starting to fall. I hate crying in front of my cousins, but I couldn't help it. I glanced up at Adam and for the first time I realized how much he looked like Uncle Ben. Well, he'd best not act like Uncle Ben, not if he knows what's good for him. I jerked my arm out of his grip and stomped over to the grain. "Leave me alone."

I tried not to sulk during supper because Uncle Ben hates sulking. I had the feeling that he had just about had enough from me and I didn't want to get into any more trouble. Then all my resolve flew out the window.

Adam and Hoss started talking about a hunting trip they were going on this weekend. Apparently Uncle Ben had promised them they could go because of all the hard work they did on the cattle drive. Then, they started talking about how Joe was going with them. Apparently Uncle Ben wanted to reward him for all his hard work while his brothers were gone!

I couldn't believe my ears. My cousins were going to have a fun-filled weekend of hunting and camping and I was probably going to get stuck at home doing more chores.

"Uncle Ben, that's not fair!"

My uncle rubbed his face wearily. "Annie, the boys have been working hard and they deserve a little fun."

"How come they always get to have fun and I always have to stay home and do chores?"

Hoss jumped in. "Annie, we are doing chores. We're hunting for meat for the winter."

"Yeah, Hoss, my heart's breaking for the hard work you'll be doing this weekend." I turned on my uncle. "You know, Uncle Ben, I've worked just as hard as they have."

Uncle Ben slapped the table. "Annie, I do not want to hear another word."

I leapt to my feet. "Fine! I'll just leave and you won't ever have to hear another word from me again!" I practically spit the words at him. Before my uncle could move, I crossed the room and ran out the front door, slamming it hard behind me. I kept on running as my anger quickly gave way to panic. If my uncle caught me, he was going to have my hide for my disrespect. I ran into the barn and quickly climbed into the loft where I hid myself behind some boxes and waited. I had been walking a fine line all day and I had just thrown myself across it.

I waited a few minutes. Sure enough, I heard someone come into the barn. I had picked a bad hiding spot. This would be the first place Uncle Ben looked. A minute later, I could hear someone climb the ladder.

"Annie?"

That was Adam, not Uncle Ben. I leaned out and saw my oldest cousin standing on the top of the ladder. I crawled out from my hiding place.

"You're not who I expected."

"No, I'm not. You should be very glad I'm not my father, Annie. What were you thinking, speaking to him like that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, Adam. The words just came out before I could stop them. He's very angry with me, isn't he?"

Adam climbed onto the loft and sat by me. "Yup. I had a hard time convincing him that I should go looking for you, not him. If he found you here, you'd be bending over that box, not hiding behind it."

"Thank you, Adam." I tried to smile at him, but I was too upset.

"So what was that all about, anyway?"

I shrugged again. "It's just that you and Hoss and Joe get to go hunting and swimming and do fun things together. I have to stay behind and do chores. I feel like I'm all alone. I just never get to see my friends and when I do, I don't get to spend anytime with them."

We turned at the sound of someone on the ladder. Uncle Ben was standing on top rung with a funny look on his face. He didn't look as angry as I expected but he didn't look too happy, either.

He swung himself into the loft. "Adam, would you excuse us, please?"

Adam gave me a hand up, and then winked as he turned to go. I guess that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn't work. I was left alone with my uncle. He sat on the box and beckoned me to him. I stood in front of him, trying to look him in the eye as he expected.

"I think I've given you more than enough chances today."

I knew what was coming next. "Yes, sir." Sure enough, the next thing I knew I was looking at the floor. When Uncle Ben stood me up again, I wiped the tears from my eyes. Still, I couldn't say I didn't have that spanking coming. Uncle Ben stood up.

"I had made arrangements for you to spend the weekend with your friend Beth as a reward for all the hard work you've done in the past month. Tomorrow, I will go explain to her mother that because you cannot control your temper, you will instead spend the weekend doing extra chores. Furthermore, you're restricted for the week."

That was harsh. I knew better than to say anything, but knowing that I had missed out on a fun weekend hurt more than the spanking, or at least it hurt in a different way.

The boys left early Friday morning. After morning chores were done, Uncle Ben and Hop Sing got ready to go to town. More Chinese people, including some of Hop Sing's cousins, had moved to Eagle Station and Hop Sing often spent the weekend in town with his family. It meant more chores for me, because I had to do his work plus my own, but I was glad to be able to do something nice for him.

"Annie, are you sure you'll be all right alone?" Uncle Ben was concerned because I had never been left alone, but he had things to do in town. I tried suggesting that I be allowed to go with him, but I didn't get more than three words into the suggestion before he reminded me that I was being punished.

"I'll be fine, Uncle Ben. I've got plenty of chores to keep me busy." He nodded. Truth be told, though, I was excited about being by myself. I don't think I've ever really been alone in my entire life.

"All right. I'll be home for lunch." He kissed me and then he and Hop Sing drove off.

Uncle Ben had been gone for a couple of hours when I heard horses in the yard. I was surprised because I hadn't heard the wagon. I stopped cleaning the floors and hurried to open the door for my uncle but the door opened before I could reach it.

"Hello, Uncle Be…" My greeting died in my throat. Instead of my uncle, three Indian men walked in the door. They looked at me and then they looked all around the room. I was terrified. I had seen Indians in California, in the missions, but I had never seen Indians since I came to Utah territory. Instantly I thought of the lurid stories I had read in which Indians capture white girls and force them to adopt Indian ways and marry Indian braves. Uncle Ben had been angry when he caught me reading them, he called them trash, but I had a couple hidden under my mattress and I read them late at night.

I thought about what Adam and Hoss had told me about the local tribes. The closest tribe was the Paiute and Adam said they were usually not hostile. In fact, he had been friendly with Young Wolf, the chief's son, for a time. The other close tribe was the Bannock; Adam had said they were sometimes more hostile. If I remembered right he said they didn't often come around here. Still, I had no idea to which tribe these men belonged.

I inched my way away from the door, trying to figure out how to run away if I had to.

"Alone?" The first man to enter the house spoke to me. It took me a minute to realize he was asking if I were alone. I shook my head.

"My uncle will be back soon." I had no idea if they understood what I was trying to say. I bumped into the worktable. Glancing back, I saw the knife lying there and I put my hands behind my back, hoping to pick it up before they could grab me. They weren't going to take me captive without a fight.

"No hurt." The second man shook his head at me. Was he telling me that they wouldn't hurt me or that I shouldn't hurt them? Considering there were three of them, and they were much bigger than me, I didn't think they were too afraid of me. He must be telling me they wouldn't hurt me. I relaxed slightly, but still kept that knife within reach.

"Hungry." The first man gestured from his stomach to his mouth and then pointed to the stove. I nodded my understanding. I had a stew cooking on the stove for lunch. Maybe if I fed them, they would leave me alone. I quickly grabbed three bowls and filled them. I set them on the table and grabbed the bread I had been cooking.

I had never seen men eat like those three men. They must have been starving, and for the first time I really understood what life in Ireland had been like for Uncle Pat. They wolfed down their food and devoured the bread. Watching them eat, I lost all fear of them. I ladled the remaining stew into their bowls and put out another loaf of bread. I grabbed a sack and filled it with all of Hop Sing's Thursday baking and even the cooked chicken and ham. I wondered fleetingly if Uncle Ben would be angry, but these men were starving. I had been raised to help those in need and I knew the color of their skin made no difference. The words "least of my brethren" came unbidden into my thoughts and I finally understood the Bible story Uncle Ben had told about sheep and goats. The sheep were the people who helped strangers in need without thought of reward. The goats were the people who didn't understand that by helping those in need, they were helping Jesus. Jesus wanted me to feed these poor Indians, these least of His brethren. I knew then that my uncle wouldn't be angry. As they stood to leave, I handed the third man the sack. He was smaller than the rest and I thought perhaps he was younger. In fact, he looked to be no more than a boy. He nodded his thanks and headed out the door, followed by the second man. The first man reached out and touched my hair. Then he smiled and took off his necklace, which he put around my neck. It was a string of beads with what looked like three bear claws on the bottom. Then he was gone and I could hear the sound of their horses galloping off.

The Indians hadn't been gone two minutes when I heard the sound of the wagon racing into the yard and Uncle Ben hollering my name. I stepped onto the porch just as he threw himself off the wagon, almost before it stopped. He took the stairs in one leap and hugged me tightly.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, sir. They didn't even threaten me. They were starving, Uncle Ben." I chewed my lip nervously as I looked up at him. "I gave them our lunch, and all of the baking that Hop Sing did yesterday and some other food, too."

He gave a great sigh. "I saw them leaving the yard as I came over the top of the hill. I was so worried." He leaned up against the house; it looked like he didn't have the strength to stand. "You did exactly the right thing, Annie. Who knows what they might have done if you had resisted."

"That's why I gave them food at first, Uncle Ben, but you should have seen those men. They were starving and I couldn't refuse them. They said they wouldn't hurt me and I believed them." I turned to go back into the house. My uncle's voice stopped me.

"For I was hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink."

I turned back to him and smiled. " 'And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.' I understand that verse now, Uncle Ben. I'm still not sure why the sheep and the goats were in it, but I know that the Bible is telling me to help those who need it, no matter who they are."

He looked at me strangely and then ruffled my hair. "You did the right thing for the right reason. I'm proud of you. C'mon, help me unload these supplies and then we'll rustle something up for lunch."

After all the trouble I had been in lately, hearing my uncle tell me he was proud of me made me feel real good. I helped him bring in the light packages and while he was bringing in the big supplies, I made us some enchiladas for lunch.

After lunch we didn't hurry off to do chores. The wind had picked up and it was raining a bit, so we sat together on the sofa. Uncle Ben didn't even say anything when I curled my feet up under me. In fact, he swore me to secrecy as he put his feet on the table. I leaned against him. Seeing those starving Indians had made me think about how I'd been lately and I wasn't very proud of myself right then. I had a lot of apologies to make.

"Uncle Ben?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry I've been behaving badly."

He stroked my hair. "You've been punished and it's over now."

I shook my head. "No, not just yesterday. I mean lately. I've been rude and unpleasant and well, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Why have I been like that or why am I sorry?"

"Both."

I wasn't really expecting the question, so I had to think for a minute before I could answer it. "I've been feeling sorry for myself because I've been feeling lonely. I don't get to see any of my friends and, well, sometimes, I'd like to talk about something other than cows. When I saw the Indians, I guess I realized that even though I am lonely, I am still lucky; I have a home and food and a family." I shrugged. "I don't know, I guess I'm still feeling lonely, but…"

"You have us, Annie."

"I know, Uncle Ben, but sometimes I feel left out. I mean, you and the boys like to talk about cows and chores and just once I'd like to talk about something like clothes or dances." I stopped. I didn't really know what I was trying to tell him.

He looked down at me with a little smile on his face. "You think we like to talk about cattle, Annie? Cattle aren't really that interesting."

"But you talk about them all the time."

"We're ranchers, Annie. We're trying to create a thriving ranch and that means cattle. Don't you think Adam would like to discuss philosophy or books? Don't you think Hoss would prefer to be in the woods? Don't you think I'd sometimes like to be with another adult? I know Joe would prefer to be fishing or playing with his friends. We're all lonely sometimes, Annie. That's the price to pay for settling a new land."

I nodded. "Then why did you come here?"

He hesitated as he gazed into the fire. "Because I think the price is a small one compared to what we've gained. We're part of a new land, Annie. Someday we will look around and see a thriving community and a prosperous ranch and we'll be able to say 'We did this with our hard work and our sacrifices.' We will have made our mark in the world. Do you understand, Annie?"

"I think so. Papa sometimes said the same thing." We sat quietly for a few minutes.

"Uncle Ben?"

"Yes, Annie."

"Why didn't you tell me I was going to Beth's for the weekend?"

His voice was stern. "I had talked to Beth's mother when we were in town. I was going to tell you when we came back but I would not reward your bad behavior. Then I was going to tell you during supper, but you had that tantrum and I decided you weren't going to go."

I could feel myself blushing as I closed my eyes. "I really made a mistake that time."

"Yes, you did." He put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him. "You need to control that tongue of yours. You may be upset about something but that doesn't give you the right to be rude to everyone else."

"I'll try, Uncle Ben."

"No, Annie, there is no 'try.' You will control your tongue. We live in a small house and if one person is in a bad mood, it affects everyone. If you continue to act this way, there will be unpleasant consequences. Do you understand?"

Considering what the consequences had been like so far, I didn't want to know what unpleasant consequences were. I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Write anything you want in your journal, but keep it there. I mean it, Annie." He looked at me for a minute before he let go of my chin. "C'mon, let's go finish our chores."

Uncle Ben spent the afternoon doing barn chores while I stayed in the house and baked. I wanted to replace the bread I had given to the Paiutes and I had to make supper for Uncle Ben and me. It was strange eating alone with him. We talked about all sorts of things – his trip West with Adam, my trip West with Papa, the books we were reading, when I could go back to school. We never once mentioned cows and it was nice.

Suddenly he got a funny look on his face. "Annie, I forgot to give you some news from town." He hesitated and I started to worry about what he was going to say. "Your friend Peggy is married."

I was so surprised that I almost spit out my chicken. "Married? But she's just 15, only a year older than me." Well, I am almost 14.

"She married a widower. The man's wife died on the trail and left him with four small children. I think Ruth said the oldest child was 8. They're going to winter here and then continue on to California."

Married, and a stepmother to four children! I was shocked. "Poor Peggy. She's had such a harsh life. How sad to be not wanted."

"Oh?"

"She wasn't as lucky as I was. When her parents died, her uncle, well, actually, her mother's cousin's husband, didn't want her, but his wife insisted they take her in. He didn't treat Peggy well and always complained that she was a burden to him. Every time she said something about him, I realized how lucky I am." I stood up to clear the dishes away. "He must have jumped at the chance to be rid of her when this settler came through looking for a wife."

The look on my uncle's face told me I was right. I brought over his coffee cup and the last of the apple pie.

"So, Uncle Ben, would you have jumped at the chance to marry me off to a settler?" I was joking, mostly. I hoped I knew the answer, but part of me wanted to hear it from him.

He paused in his chewing. "Haven't had the right offer yet."

I almost dropped my fork. "You've had offers?"

He started to laugh. "Now that you mention it, no."

I realized he was teasing me. "Well, I'm sure there would be plenty of offers if men weren't so afraid of my bodyguards. It'd take a brave man to get through Adam and Hoss to speak to you." How strange it was to be joking with him tonight when just last night I went to bed with a sore backside. I'll never understand adults.

"Mitch doesn't seem to be afraid of me."

I could feel myself blushing. Oh, yes he is, I thought. I just looked at my plate. I didn't know what to say.

"Annie?"

I looked up at him. He wasn't laughing any more.

"Annie, Peggy was much too young to be married."

Now I was really confused. Why was he telling me something I already knew, unless…

"Oh! I know she was, Uncle Ben. I have no intention of getting married until I'm at least, oh, I don't know, sixteen."

He frowned. He was just about to say something when he realized that I was teasing him.

"Go on and finish the dishes or no man will want a lazy girl like you!"

While I finished the dishes he looked at the household books. I keep them now, but he likes to check them periodically. I was pleased to see he didn't find any errors.

"You know, Uncle Ben, I could keep the ranch books, too, if you want."

He shook his head. "You've got enough to keep you busy right now. You'll be starting school later this week and I'm sure Mr. Taylor's been saving work for you. You'll never have time to see your friends if you take more work to yourself."

I wrote in my journal until he told me it was time for bed. I woke in the middle of the night to a fierce thunderstorm. Sometimes the storms in the Sierras are so loud, I could easily imagine the men with their bowling balls in the story Papa used to tell about the man who slept for twenty years. I couldn't go back to sleep so I curled up on the sofa and watched the dying embers of the fire with images of Peggy, Paiutes and Rip Van Winkle all jumbled in my mind. Uncle Ben found me sleeping there the next morning.

Uncle Ben decided to not go to church on Sunday, for which I was grateful. I wasn't looking forward to sitting on a hard church bench and I vowed once again to stay out of trouble. Even though Uncle Ben didn't give me extra chores to do, I spent the morning cooking. We were expecting my cousins home after lunch and I wanted to make a special supper as an apology for the way I had been behaving.

I had no sooner finished clearing up the lunch dishes than we heard them ride into the yard. Uncle Ben and I hurried outside to greet them. Judging by their packhorse, the hunt had been successful, and I was looking forward to a meal that had never mooed, eaten acorns or pecked grain on the ground.

Uncle Ben stepped off the porch. "Looks like you boys made good use of your time!"

Joe jumped off his horse, earning a reproving look from his father. "Yeah, and I got a deer, Pa!"

Uncle Ben looked to Adam, who nodded. "First shot, Pa. He also helped skin it."

Good. That meant they had butchered everything already. I was dreading the thought that I might have to help.

Joe was practically preening as Uncle Ben congratulated him. I guess he had every right to be proud of himself, though.

Hoss dismounted. "Hey, Annie, give us a hand, will you? The meat's on the packhorse, it's all ready to hang in the smoke house. We gotta get unpacked and head back to Devlins', if it's all right with you, Pa."

Adam answered his father's unasked question. "Their barn got hit by lightening last night. Burned to the ground. When we stopped to drop off Pete and Mitch, Mr. Devlin asked if we could help cut logs to rebuild."

"Was anyone hurt?"

Joe grabbed the packhorse's reins. "No, Pa, but they lost a milk cow and all their tools and tack."

Adam grabbed the saddlebags from the horses as he picked up the story. "Fortunately all the horses were outside; Mr. Devlin was able to open the corral gate and they ran off. He said he spent most of today rounding them up. We have some extra tools, Pa, I was thinking we could give the Devlins the loan of them."

"Good thinking, son and we have that extra milk cow. We can lend that as well."

Hoss frowned. "Don’t know about that, Pa. Mr. Devlin's like you and he don’t take charity."

I almost giggled at the look on my uncle's face. He couldn’t tell if he had been insulted or praised.

"Well, we can work out a trade, then. I was going to sell the milk in town; maybe come spring Mitch can do some work around here. I'll talk to George about it."

I followed Joe to the smokehouse and my uncle was right behind me. I could hear Uncle Ben calling to Hoss to saddle his horse, so I figured he was going to ride to the Devlins', too.

"Annie, Joe, you two take care of the meat. I'm going with Adam and Hoss. Joe, when you're done, I want you to go to town to bring back Hop Sing; he'll be expecting someone." He hesitated when he saw the look on Joe's face. "You are going to town to get Hop Sing, Joseph. Nothing else. I'm counting on you."

Joe sighed. "Yes, Pa."

"Uncle Ben, can I, I mean, may I go with Joe?"

He just gave me the look.

"Well, then may I go with you? I can help."

He gave me the look again.

Remembering my new found resolve, I bit back my sigh. "I'll stay here and do chores. Will you be home for supper?"

He smiled and nodded.

I spent the afternoon getting supper ready and doing the barn chores. Joe and Hop Sing came home as I was in the middle of feeding the horses, so Joe joined me in the barn to finish up. Hop Sing was pleased that supper was all set, so he started to chop the wood. I would have, but I'm forbidden to use the axe. I was anxious to stay out of trouble.

Adam and Hoss were grateful that we had done all the chores because they were tired from chopping logs. They spent supper telling everyone how Joe got his first deer and Joe got all puffed up. I'm not sure what pleased him more, getting a deer or having his brothers brag on him.

Suddenly Hoss looked over at me. "Hey, Annie, where'd ya get that necklace?"

My mouth was full at the time so Uncle Ben told the story about the Indian visitors. Adam and Hoss looked concerned but Joe just eyed the necklace.

"Do ya think they're real bear claws?"

I shrugged. "That's what Uncle Ben said."

Joe's eyes narrowed. "I bet they're some cub's claws."

His father shook his head. "Grizzly claws, I think." He smiled at the look on Joe's face. "Look how big they are."

Joe looked so jealous that I almost laughed. You'd think I was the one who shot the grizzly, not just the one some Indian gave the necklace to.

Uncle Ben pulled me out of my thoughts. "George thinks we have enough logs to start building tomorrow. We'll all go over to help." He looked at Joe. "By the way, Joe, thank you for telling Mr. Johnson that we needed help."

Joe looked nervous. "I didn't go lookin' for Kier and Tex, Pa, honest. I saw Mr. Johnson near Hop Sing's cousin's house and he asked how come I got to come to town by myself."

Uncle Ben smiled. "I know, Joe. Tom told me. Remember, I expect you and Annie to do your share at the Devlins' tomorrow. You're not going there to play with your friends."

Joe looked insulted. "I know that, Pa."

"What do you want me to do there, Uncle Ben?" I had no idea how I could help. I certainly didn't see myself building a barn.

"There will be a lot of men there to help and Mrs. Devlin will have to feed them all. You can help her with that or anything else she needs."

"Yes, sir." I thought for a minute. "Maybe I can cook something tonight to bring over? Like some pies, maybe?" I looked to Hop Sing for permission, which made my uncle laugh.

Hop Sing nodded. "Yes, we have time. I will stay here tomorrow and do chores."

Judging by the smile on Hop Sing's face, he was looking forward to a day alone. Me, I was looking forward to a day with people!

We got up early, did chores and ate a quick breakfast. Hop Sing and I loaded food onto the wagon while Adam and Hoss loaded the tools. I guess Uncle Ben must have convinced Mr. Devlin to take the loan of our extra cow because Joe tied her up to the back of the wagon just before he mounted Paint. My cousins rode their horses to the Devlins' while Uncle Ben and I rode the wagon. I wanted to ride, too, but he reminded me that I was restricted still.

We got to the Devlins' just as Beth and her family rode in. I clapped my hands in delight and my uncle looked down at me. "Annie, you're here to help, remember, not to socialize with your friends."

"I know, Uncle Ben, but I can talk with my friends while I'm working, can't I?"

He rolled his eyes. "Annie, I would have to nail your mouth shut to keep you from talking." I giggled. I really couldn’t say anything because I knew it was true. "You just make sure you're working while you're talking or I won't be happy."

"Don't worry, Uncle Ben, I'm determined to keep you happy today!"

"Smart girl." He jumped down from the wagon, then lifted me down. "You bring this food over to Mrs. Devlin." He turned to the boys. "Adam, Hoss, you take care of unloading the tools. Joseph, go ask Mr. Devlin where he wants the cow, then take her there." Uncle Ben can give out orders faster than most people can think. He grabbed a basket and helped me with the food.

Mitch and Pete were busy bringing out the table and all the chairs. Mitch gave me a wave, but didn't stop working. Mr. Devlin is a lot like my uncle and I expect Mitch had received the same orders that Joe and I had.

I set my basket down on the table just as Beth put hers down. We hugged and started talking. Uncle Ben cleared his throat.

"Annie's here to help you, Martha. You let me know if she's not working."

Did he really think I was stupid enough to disobey him after all his warnings? Fortunately those words didn't actually leave my mouth. I looked at Beth. She was rolling her eyes and I tried hard not to laugh.

"Ben, don't you worry about that girl. Us women can talk and work at the same time, not like you men who need to stop work to talk."

That time I couldn't help myself. I laughed out loud. He just pulled my braid.

"Ben, thank you so much for the loan of the cow. I do appreciate it."

"Nothing to thank, Martha, I'm glad we could help. I'll expect Mitch's help in the spring." He pulled my braid again and went to join the men.

"Annie, I think you brought enough to feed the territory!"

"Yes, ma'am. That's Hop Sing's doing. He was sorry he didn't come, but someone had to stay behind to do the chores. Truth-be-told, I think he was looking forward to a quiet house."

"Don’t I know how that feels! All right, girls, you can spread the tablecloths and lay out the dishes. Mrs. Swenson, can you help me bring some of this food inside?"

"Please, call me Marta."

Now Mrs. Devlin giggled. "Marta and Martha! What a pair we'll make!"

As soon as the women went into the house, Beth turned to me.

"Why did you get into trouble Friday? I was looking forward to seeing you."

I blushed. "I'm sorry. I lost my temper with my uncle. That's never a good thing."

"Yah. If I lose my temper with Mama or Papa, Papa would spank me."

I blushed again. "Yeah, well your Papa sounds like my uncle."

Beth's eyes widened. "Well, it does not matter. You are here now. We had better start work before Mr. Cartwright or Papa sees us talking."

We set out the tablecloths and dishes, talking the entire time. I told her about the Indians and she told me that her mother was going to have another baby.

I looked at Mrs. Swenson when she came out of the house. She did look a little different, but Beth said the baby wasn't going to come for five more months. I wasn't sure what Mrs. Swenson should look like.

"Annie?"

"Yes, Mrs. Devlin?"

She handed me a bucket. "Could you get some water from the well for me, please?"

"Yessum."

I ran to the well, filled the bucket and headed back. I had just come 'round the woodshed corner when I almost bumped into Mitch. He grinned when he saw me.

Mitch and I stepped behind the woodshed, being careful to make sure we were not completely out of sight. Mitch looked down at me.

"Hey, Annie."

"Hi, Mitch." I looked down at my feet.

"Haven't seen you in a long time."

"Uh, no. Busy time of year." I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him in more than a month and this was the best I could do for conversation?

"Yeah, me too. Pa doesn't let up much 'til wintertime. You look nice."

I touched my hair self-consciously and stepped so my back was against the shed wall. Mitch stepped forward and placing one hand above my shoulder, leaned towards me. He was so close our bodies were almost touching. I shivered and the water sloshed around in the bucket.

"I heard there's going to be a harvest dance in a couple of weeks. Maybe you'd like to go with me?"

I chewed my lower lip. Uncle Ben and his stupid rules. I glanced up at Mitch and almost sighed out loud. "Mitch, I…"

"Yeah, I know. What I meant is maybe we can be there together."

I nodded shyly. "I'd like that." I looked up at him again and he leaned toward me. Just as we were about to kiss, we heard the sound of a clearing throat. Mitch whirled around and my heart sank as I saw my uncle standing there. He had his hat pulled down so I couldn't see his eyes, but the hands on his hips let me know he wasn't pleased.

"Uncle Ben, we…" I stopped. He didn’t say anything, and I didn't want to say anything to make him upset, so I decided to be quiet for once.

"Annie, I believe Mrs. Devlin is waiting for that water." He nodded in the direction of the house.

"Yes, sir." I scampered off and he gave me a smile as I passed him. Good, he wasn’t angry. As I turned to wave to Mitch, I could see my uncle put his arm around Mitch's shoulder.

"Mitch, did I ever tell you the story of the time Adam's grandfather caught me kissing Adam's mother? She was 13…" I didn't hear anything else, but I already knew how the story ended. I rolled my eyes. My uncle is not subtle!

I hurried over to the worktables where Mrs. Devlin and Mrs. Swenson were busy laying out coffee and coffee cakes. Mrs. Devlin gave me a funny look when I put the water down beside her.

"And what was that about?"

"Ma'am?"

She shook her finger at me. "Don’t 'ma'am' me, Miss Annie. You and Mitch remember the rules and you'll be the better for it. Forget the rules and you won't see each other any time soon."

"We weren't alone, Mrs. Devlin."

"You were close." She set down the coffee pot. "Annie, we don't make the rules to be mean."

I smiled ruefully. "Yes, ma'am. That's what my uncle tells me."

"But you don't believe him, do you?" I didn't say anything but she smiled anyway. "We were young once."

Mrs. Swenson laughed. "Vat do you mean, once? I am not so old yet." The two women started giggling like Beth and me.

We spent the next hour getting food ready for the men. They were going to take a break about mid-morning and Mrs. Devlin was anxious that they have something to fill themselves. Finally she handed a pitcher of water to me and a tray of glasses to Beth.

"You girls go see if the men need something to drink. No flirting with the boys, though."

We were just out of earshot when Beth leaned towards me. "What is flirting?"

"Makin' eyes at the boys." I did my best love-struck impression and Beth started to laugh.

"Papa says he will chase off any boy who comes near me. So do my brothers."

"Does that ever sound familiar!"

We were a welcome sight to the men. They sat down to drink and to talk a few minutes. I guess Mrs. Devlin was right; menfolk needed to sit to talk, women could keep working and talking.

I was surprised at how many men there were working. Of course Mr. Devlin and Pete and Mitch were there, and my uncle and cousins, but Mr. Johnson and Kier and Tex were there and so was Mr. Swenson and his three sons, all around Adam and Hoss's age. They were building a log barn and they were about a third of the way done with the walls.

I sat between Uncle Ben and Mitch for a few minutes. I almost giggled when Tex and Kier sat next to Beth. I thought the look her father gave them would freeze fire, but they didn't even notice. They looked like they were trying to out boast each other.

When the men were finished, Beth and I brought the empty pitchers and glasses back to the table. I turned at the sound of a wagon coming into the yard; Peggy and her new family were coming to help. I heard Mrs. Devlin sigh and I turned to look at her. She was looking at Peggy.

"Poor child."

I turned back to the wagon and watched Peggy's husband help her down. She was holding a baby. Then he lifted down three other children. The oldest boy looked to be about eight and the two girls looked about five and six. Her husband glanced down at the three children.

"You three mind your ma, or you'll answer to me. Do you understand?"

Three little heads nodded. Then the man leaned over and kissed Peggy. He wasn't at all what I had expected. He was in his early 30s and he had a kind face.

I was surprised to realize I was nervous when Peggy approached me. I didn't know what to say to her. She looked nervous, too, or sad. I'm not sure which.

"Hi, Annie."

"Hey, Peggy."

We stood looking at each other for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say or do. I just stared at her holding a baby. Was it only a few months ago that we had gotten into so much trouble for sneaking drinks? Now she was a wife and mother, and I was still me.

The baby started to fuss, and Peggy bounced him a little. "This is Abe," she said. She nodded to the other children. "The big one is Tom, Jr., the older girl is Ellie and the younger is Missy. I guess you heard my news."

A loud crashing sound interrupted my answer. I heard Mrs. Devlin yelling at Mitch's little sister, Abby. She had been trying to sneak a bit of cake from the table, but had succeeded only in knocking over a chair.

"Annie?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Maybe you and Peggy could take the children for a walk so Mrs. Swenson, Beth and I could finish here."

"Yes, ma'am." The last thing I wanted to do was baby-sit a bunch of children, but Uncle Ben had been clear. I was here to do what Mrs. Devlin needed doing. Still, it would give me a chance to talk alone with Peggy. Who knew, it might be the last time I ever get to see her.

So, off we went with Abby, Beth's little sister Carla and Peggy's stepchildren. The children ran ahead while Peggy and I followed behind. She was still holding little Abe.

"You did hear that I was married, didn't you?"

"My uncle told me Saturday. When did it happen?"

"A month ago. I'm surprised you didn't hear sooner."

"We've been busy, I haven't been off the ranch in more than a month." I paused. "How are you doing?"

She thought for a minute. "He's nice enough to me. Nicer than my uncle, anyway. He doesn't hit me."

A wave of sadness swept over me. Was "he doesn't hit me" the best thing she could say? "Do you like him?"

She shrugged. "I guess. His first wife died on the trail and he couldn't handle the children on his own." She looked at me. "He needs me, Annie. I've never had that before."

Still, it seemed to me that marriages needed more than that. My father often talked about how much he loved my mother, and she him. A thought came to me.

"What about, you know, at night."

Peggy shrugged again. "It's all right." She looked at the children running ahead. "Annie, don't spend your time feeling bad for me. I don't want your pity. I don't want anyone's pity."

I didn't know what else to say. I like Mitch a lot, but I do not want to be married soon. I want to be young and have fun. We walked for about an hour, never once saying another word. Once, we couldn't talk fast enough. Now it was like I didn't know her or she didn't know me.

I looked up at the sun. "I think it's about lunchtime. We'd best head back."

We returned to the yard. I helped Mrs. Devlin and Beth set out the food. The men were going to come through the line and we'd fill their plates. Peggy sat away from us, watching the children. It was like she didn't know if she belonged with Beth and me or with Mrs. Devlin and Mrs. Swenson.

We had brought out all of the Devlins' chairs but still there wasn't enough to go around. The men made some rough benches out of logs and the younger boys like Joe and Mitch sat on the ground. Mrs. Swenson smiled as she served Uncle Ben.

"Here you go, Benyamin."

I was surprised by the look on my uncle's face. He had been smiling, but he suddenly looked sad and wistful. Mrs. Swenson noticed it too.

"Is something wrong?" She looked at him with concern.

Uncle Ben shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. He smiled again. "No," he said softly. "It's just…I haven't been called 'Benyamin' since Inger, Hoss's mother, died. It's nice to hear."

I had forgotten that Hoss's mother was Swedish. Hearing Mrs. Swenson's accent must make Uncle Ben think of her.

Mrs. Swenson smiled as she held a plate out to Hoss. "Hoss is a fine name. In Sweden, it is a name given to good, friendly men. Is this why they call you Hoss?"

I knew the reason his brothers called him Hoss, so I wasn't surprised when Hoss blushed and looked at his feet. Adam and Little Joe, standing right behind Hoss, exchanged looks. Adam spoke up.

"Yes, ma'am. That's exactly why we call him that. Uncle Gunnar, Inger's brother, once told me if I ever have a brother, we should call him Hoss. The name fits him, don't you think?" Joe nodded his agreement.

My cousins have an incredible bond, but they don't often show that, especially Adam. The look of unabashed affection that Adam gave Hoss at that moment brought tears to my eyes. I am truly blessed to have such a family.

The men went back to work and Peggy and her family left. Mr. Devlin thanked Peggy's husband but I got the feeling that none of the men knew quite what to say to him. I watched the wagon drive off and I realized I would never see my friend Peggy again.

I heard Mrs. Devlin sigh. "Poor child," she said again.

Mrs. Swenson and Beth were inside washing dishes. I looked at Mrs. Devlin. "Why do you say that, Mrs. Devlin?"

Mrs. Devlin must have seen how upset I was because she put the dirty dishes down and sat in a chair. She patted the chair next to her and I sat down, too.

"What do you think of Peggy's marriage, Annie?"

I looked at my hands. "I don't know. It seems, well, wrong. She's too young and he's too old."

She reached out and picked up my chin. "I think you're right, Annie. Peggy has never had a chance to be a girl and now she has to be a woman. That can be a hard row to hoe if you don't love the man you've married." She held my hand. "Annie, that's why your uncle and Mitch's pa and I have rules. You need time to be a girl, and Mitch needs time to be a boy before you become adults. Do you understand?"

I nodded. "I can't imagine, well, you know." I could feel myself blushing, but I needed to say it and I couldn't say it to my uncle.

Fortunately, Mrs. Devlin knew what I was talking about. "And you shouldn't be imagining such a thing, Annie. What happens between a man and a woman is private." Mrs. Devlin glanced over at my uncle. "Annie, I know you've no woman to talk to on that ranch of yours. You can come to me anytime you feel the need. I'll speak to Ben about it."

I used to be able to ask Mrs. Greene those kinds of questions, but she had become distant since the charreada, as though she didn't approve of my associating with Mexicans. In fact, I know she didn't approve. I like the idea of talking to Mrs. Devlin. I have so many questions that I can't imagine asking Uncle Ben. Mrs. Devlin is so kind and motherly; I think I can discuss anything with her.

"Yes, ma'am. I'd like that."

"In fact, if I were a betting woman, which o'course I am not, I'd bet that you find yourself very lonely on that ranch, with only a houseful of men. I'll talk to Ben about that, too. You need to be around womenfolk now that you're becoming a young lady. It's not right, you learning everything from Hop Sing." She waved away my indignant defense of my friend. "I know he's a good man and he knows a lot, but he's still a man. Womenfolk need womenfolk once in a while."

I smiled. "I'd like that, too."

"Annie, I said Peggy was a poor child not just because of being a wife to a man more'n twice her age. She's had a hard life, no one to love her. I was only 17 when I got married, and George was only 19. We was young, but we loved each other. She don't have that, not yet anyway, and I don't reckon she thinks she deserves it much. Now she's got those children to care for, even though she's not much more than a child herself." She sighed again, patted my knee and stood up. "We'd best get these dishes finished. It's almost time to start supper."

I had a better afternoon than morning. Mrs. Devlin and Mrs. Swenson traded stories about their childhood. Mrs. Devlin grew up in New York and Mrs. Swenson, of course, grew up in Sweden. They told us how they met their husbands and how they courted. The whole time they talked, we baked and peeled vegetables and I don't remember the last time I had so much fun in the kitchen. Mrs. Devlin was right; women can talk and work at the same time, and it made the afternoon fly by.

We served the men their supper as the light was starting to fade. They had managed to finish the walls and door of the barn. Mr. Devlin was anxious to do that much at least, because he had heard wolves the night before, and he was concerned about leaving the stock in the corral. Uncle Ben assured him that Hoss and Adam would be glad to help with the roof the next day after chores were done on the Ponderosa and Mr. Swenson said his sons would also be able to help.

I saw Mrs. Devlin talking quietly with Uncle Ben. I'm not sure what they were discussing, but they glanced at me a few times. I saw him nod his head and smile at her.

Beth and I cleaned the dishes and loaded our things back on our wagons. As we walked back to the porch, she made me promise to stay out of trouble so that we could see each other over the weekend.

"I think my uncle's going to let me start school this week. How about you?"

"Yah, I think I will be starting too. I am nervous, though."

"Don't be. Mr. Taylor's very nice, and you know me and Joe, Mitch, Kier and Tex." I could just see her blush in the lantern light. How she could be sweet on either of those troublemakers was beyond me!

"I have not been to school in America yet."

"I can help you. Don't worry, it'll be fun!" We hugged each other good-bye just as Uncle Ben called me over to the wagon. It was time to go home. I waved good-bye to Mitch and climbed up next to my uncle.

"Uncle Ben, you look tired. Do you want me to drive the team?"

Again with The Look. I guess not.

Hop Sing had done all the chores before we got home. He looked happy, as though he had enjoyed his day of solitude. We all settled around the fireplace, too tired to move, but not quite ready to go to bed.

Hoss turned to Adam who was sitting on the sofa reading. "Hey, Adam?"

Adam looked up from his book. "Yeah?"

"Is what you told Mrs. Swenson today true? You know, about Uncle Gunnar?"

Adam looked away. "Yeah. Funny thing is, I had forgotten until today." He looked over at his father, sitting next to him sipping tea. "Do you remember, Pa? It was just as we were leaving that town, right after you and…right after you and Ma got married." Adam looked a little sad. Losing one mother was hard; I can't imagine losing three.

Uncle Ben got that same wistful look on his face that I had seen earlier. "I remember, son."

I excused myself and stepped onto the porch. The night was crisp and clear. I could see a million stars, it seemed. I don't know how long I stood looking into the night sky, but I was startled when the door opened and a gentle beam of light came from inside. I turned around just as my uncle closed the door.

He stepped behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. "You've been very quiet since we came home."

"Sorry, I'll try to be louder."

He gave me a little shake. "I mean, is something bothering you?"

I half turned so I could look up at him. "I've been thinking about some things that Mrs. Devlin said."

Uncle Ben wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. "She said you'd been talking about Peggy. Annie, I understand there are things you don’t feel comfortable discussing with me and I'm glad you can talk to Mrs. Devlin. You have my permission to go see her anytime you need to."

I closed my eyes as I leaned back against his chest and took in a deep breath. I could smell the autumn air, the drying leaves, the smoke from the fire and the hint of snow soon to come. Mostly, though, I could smell pipe tobacco, bay rum, the scent of horses and a hint of sweat. I could smell home.

I thought of Peggy. She had said she didn't want pity, but I couldn't help but pity her. Not because she was married but because she has never stood on the porch at night and smelled the scent of home. She has never known what it is to love or be loved. I pitied her because although I have been lonely the last few weeks, I have never been alone. I gave a silent prayer in thanks that, when I was a stranger, my uncle took me in and never once considered me the least of his children.