TITLE: For Better Or For Worse
AUTHOR: Dana
FEEDBACK: MSDJSmith@aol.com
DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders belong to UA/MGM Television and Josh Kane and
Ed Spielman.

For Better Or For Worse

By Dana

Chapter One

Lou blinked her eyes open and immediately shielded them from the mid-day sun
coming through the window. She rolled over in bed to snuggle with Kid, but
then realized he wasn't there. She had forgotten he'd taken an early morning
run to Seneca and wouldn't be back until late in the afternoon. Although
she'd slept for at least twelve hours, Louise still felt exhausted, but she
decided she better get up and dressed. She was sure Rachel was going to be
irritated with her for sleeping away half the day when there were so many
chores to do.

Lou sat up and looked out the window of Rachel's house to the now
near-desolate Rock Creek waystation. Prior her and Kid's wedding a few weeks
before, it had been a bustling place, filled with the commotion of all the
riders, Teaspoon, Jesse, and Rachel. Now Jesse had run off with his outlaw
brother, Frank, Cody had joined up with the army, Jimmy was probably off
with Rosemary and the abolitionists, Noah was dead, Louise couldn't ride
anymore, and her replacement had been murdered. Buck and Kid were taking all
the remaining mail runs and were dog-tired themselves. Lou felt guilty that
she wasn't able to help out, but she knew Kid would never allow it, besides
the fact the Russell, Majors, and Waddell hadn't been too thrilled when
they'd found out she was a girl. They'd even considered making her pay them
back all the wages she'd earned as a Pony Express rider, but after a lot of
arguing, Teaspoon had finally convinced them otherwise.

Louise dressed, made the bed and headed downstairs to find Rachel. Lou
noticed that Rachel had left her a plate of breakfast on the table, but Lou
didn't feel much like eating. She went outside and found Rachel hanging
laundry.

"Hey, sleepyhead," Rachel commented once she noticed Lou.

"Sorry," Louise said sheepishly.

"Hey, that's okay," said Rachel. "You need your rest."

"Why?" Lou questioned, suddenly feeling frustrated. "I'm not doing a darn
thing around here, I feel worthless and all I ever want to do is sleep!"

"Louise," Rachel said softly, "You've been through a lot in the past month.
It's no wonder you're feelin' down. It happens to everybody."

"It's not happenin'' to you," Lou said, irritated, "And you've been through
just as much as I have!"

"I didn't get married, Louise. That's a big adjustment. And I'm not worryin'
myself sick wonderin' if my husband's goin' off to fight a war."

"Yeah," Lou said quietly. "But it's more than that." Changing the subject,
she asked, "Does Cassie know yet?" referring to Noah's death.

Following a tragic incident with an army soldier, Cassie and her younger
brother, Quinn, had moved on to Lone Tree, where there was a larger
community of free blacks and there wasn't as much war talk. She'd taken a
job in one of the restaurants, which was much easier for her than doing
laundry all day. Unknown to most of the other riders, once the Pony Express
officially disbanded Noah had planned to move there, too, and marry her. Lou
couldn't imagine the poor girl's despair at losing the man she loved.

"Buck stopped off on his last run and told her," said Rachel. "It didn't
sound like she's gonna take us up on our invitation." Rachel had offered
Cassie and Quinn a place to stay in Rock Creek, but Cassie decided Lone Tree
was home and Rock Creek wasn't a good place to raise a young, impressionable
boy, especially without Noah's guiding influence.

Changing the subject, Rachel asked, "You eat breakfast? I left you a plate."

"Thanks, I saw it," said Lou. "I just ain't hungry."

"Louise, you're gonna shrivel up to nothin' if you don't start eatin',"
Rachel chided.

"Geez," Lou snapped, "Between you and Kid, I'll die from naggin' before I
shrivel up! 'Scuse me, but I think I'm gonna take a walk."

As she walked off, Louise regretted she'd spoken harshly to her friend. She
knew Rachel was only trying to help, and she'd hit the nail on the head when
she mentioned Kid and the war. Lou was giving him his space, knowing it was
a terribly difficult decision for him to make, whether to fight for the
South or not. Yet she couldn't keep going on not knowing...she was going
crazy. Plus, she wanted to bring Jeremiah and Theresa up from St. Jo, but
there was no point in doing that if Kid was going to leave, and if he
didn't, they'd have to find a place of their own first because there
certainly wasn't enough room in Rachel's house for all of them. Lou wouldn't
have her flesh and blood sleeping in the bunkhouse like hired hands,
especially since the roof had a gaping hole in it that was still being
repaired.

The bright sun, light breeze, and fresh air seemed to help lift Lou's
spirits, and she found herself heading towards the knoll where they'd held
Ike's funeral. His death had started the downward spiral of the riders'
little world, from which Lou feared they'd never recover. So deep in
thought, she tripped on her skirts, still not quite used to wearing them
outside of town on the rough terrain. She fell down, but caught herself on
her hands and knees. Damn thing, she thought. Good thing the boys weren't
around or she'd never hear the end of it...but then immediately she wished
they were. She missed the kidding and the ribbing they'd given each other
and the laughter and tears they'd shared. They were the functional family
she'd never had, as haphazard as they all appeared to the outside world.

As she got up, she noticed a horse and buckboard at Ike's funeral site.
That's odd, Lou thought. I wonder who that could be? As she got closer, she
could tell that the visitor was a women. Louise could tell the women was
deep in thought and wasn't aware of her presence. Lou approached
tentatively, not knowing how to announce herself. She cleared her throat and
softly said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, I just came to be near
my friend."

The woman turned around and lifted her head. Lou was shocked to realize the
woman was Emily Metcalfe, the woman Ike died saving. Emily had disappeared
shortly after Ike's funeral and hadn't been heard from in months. Her hair
was much longer, and she was obviously pregnant. Louise could tell she'd
been crying, and Emily quickly tried to wipe away her tears before Lou could
notice.

"Lou?" Emily said, looking confused. "Is that you?"

"Yep, it's me. I guess the dress sort of threw you off," Lou replied. "It's
so good to see you! Where have you been?"

"Well, I didn't figure Rock Creek was the most understanding place for a
unmarried mother," Emily shyly smiled, and Lou knew she was referring to how
the townspeople had treated Ike and Buck. Lou knew Emily was right...Rock
Creek didn't have much tolerance for anyone "different."

"So why're you here?" asked Lou.

Emily started to cry again, this time not trying to hide her tears. Louise
went to her and took Emily in her arms. "I just had to be near him," Emily
cried. "Especially now with the baby comin'. Lou, you have now idea how hard
it's been! And I thought I was a strong, independent woman. I guess the
joke's on me."

Lou stepped back and looked Emily straight in the eye. "Emily, you ARE a
strong, independent woman. You know when to ask for help, and that takes a
lot of courage. You're with family now. We'll take care of you, just like
Ike would want us to."

Emily smiled through her tears. "Lou, I really appreciate it, but the
boys..."

Lou cut her off. "There's only two of them now, and one of them will have to
deal with me if he treats you bad in ANY way!"

Emily looked at Louise quizzically. "What do you mean two? What happened to
everyone?"

Eyeing the buckboard, Lou nodded towards it. "Why don't I explain everything
on the way back to the station."

We've finally stopped losing family, Lou smiled to herself as she climbed
into the buckboard for the drive back. This is a good sign.

Chapter Two

Kid galloped into the station on Katy late in the afternoon, right on
schedule. He dismounted and led her towards the barn, half expecting to see
Louise greet him and come across the yard to give him a welcome home kiss as
she'd taken to doing since they'd returned from their honeymoon. When she
didn't, he grew concerned...even more so than he already had been. Lou
hadn't been herself for weeks. He hoped she wasn't regretting their
marriage. He knew she was feeling upset about giving up her job and the loss
of Noah, Jesse, Jimmy, and Cody, but he sensed it went deeper than that. He
also knew she was worried about his decision (or rather, lack thereof) about
fighting for the South. He hoped to get a chance to discuss it with her
after dinner tonight.

Kid was in the barn feeding and brushing down Katy when he heard a buckboard
outside. He was surprised when he saw Lou jump off it and rush into the barn
to greet him.

"Hey, handsome. How was your ride?" Louise asked, smiling fully for the
first time in weeks.

"Long," said Kid, taking her in his arms and kissing her soft lips. He
couldn't help noticing her improved mood. Her nearly shoulder-length hair
was windblown, and her skin had gotten some color from being outside. God,
she's incredible, he thought. "Looks like you had a good day."

"We have a visitor," Lou explained. "But hear me out before you say
anything."

"Why? Is there some sort of problem?" Kid asked, hoping it wasn't someone
with a "colorful" past he'd need to worry about being around Lou.

"No, but I was out walkin' this afternoon and I ended up out where we had
Ike's funeral. I ran into Emily there and I brought her back with me."

"Emily Metcalfe?" Kid questioned.

"Yeah, and Kid, she's expecting," Lou said softly.

"A baby?" he asked.

"No, goofy, a foal. Of course a baby. And before you say anything else," she
said, reacting to the look of disapproval that appeared on her husband's
face, "It's Ike's, so it's our duty."

"Oh," Kid replied. Although he knew in his head Ike's death wasn't Emily's
fault, his heart somehow felt different. But Lou was right, they had a duty
to Ike to take care of Emily and their child.

"So she can stay?" Lou asked.

"Well if it was up to me, yeah, but you really should ask Rachel. It is her
house," Kid told his wife.

"Oh my god!" Lou gasped, realizing she had completely forgotten, and then,
remembering their earlier conversation, felt terribly guilty. "I'll go talk
to her right now. But can you do me a favor?"

"Depends," replied her husband, eyeing his wife lovingly. "What do I get out
of it?" he asked jokingly.

"You won't get a slap on the head!" Lou cried stubbornly. Then realizing he
was just playing, she demurely replied, "A VERY grateful wife," softly
kissing him.

"Well, then, anything," Kid said, smiling.

"Will you water her horse and take care of the buckboard? Oh yeah, and tell
Buck," she said over her shoulder as she turned to walk out of the barn.

"Whoa, Miss Louise. Get yourself back in here!" Kid called.

"You said anything!" she called back, as she went off to help Emily onto the
bench on the porch and then on to find Rachel.

Chapter Three

Lou found Rachel in the kitchen making bread. She quietly approached her.

"Hey, Rachel," Lou said apologetically. "Sorry ëbout this morning. I don't
know what's my problem. I didn't mean it...I know you're just lookin' out
for me."

"You're right, Lou, I am," Rachel answered. "I thought we were friends, but
that's not how friends treat each other."

"I know, Rachel," Lou cried, nearly in tears. "And then I ran off and left
you with all the chores again. I feel terrible all around!"

Rachel moved towards Lou and embraced her. "Louise, I'm worried about you. I
just want you to be happy. But you can't take out your fears and concerns on
others, either. Just share those feelings with us instead of bottling them
up. That'll help -- I guarantee it."

Lou began crying. "I know I've been childish lately, Rachel. I don't mean to
be so hateful. But I'm so worried about Kid. What if..." She couldn't finish
her sentence as sobs wracked her tiny body.

Rachel sat her down and went to the stove to get Lou some tea. "Calm down,
honey," she said to her friend. "We'll cross that bridge when and if it
comes," handing the hot cup to Lou.

Lou wiped away her tears and sipped on the tea, trying to pull herself
together. "Rachel, I know I don't deserve to, but can I ask a favor?" Lou
questioned, almost afraid of Rachel's response.

"Yes, Louise," Rachel answered.

Lou related her story about her walk and Emily and her "situation."

"Louise, I'm ashamed of you!" Rachel exclaimed. "What kind of person do you
take me for? Do you honestly think I'd ever turn her away?"

"Well, no, but after this morning..." Lou replied.

"Lou, we've already discussed that. Now where is she? Bring her on in for
goodness sake!" Rachel said.

Lou smiled through her tears. "On the porch. I'll go get her." Then she
asked, "What about Teaspoon?"

"I'll tell him, but you'll have to tell Buck," Rachel answered, not envying
Lou that task. Both women knew Buck still harbored a deep resentment toward
Emily for Ike's death.

Lou laughed. "Kid's doin' that! I bribed him!"

Rachel chuckled to herself as Louise stepped outside to bring Emily in.
Dinner sure would be interesting tonight!

*****

Rachel had Kid bring Emily's things in, showed her to her room, and got her
settled. The poor girl was tired from her travels and needed a good rest.

Rachel walked down to the jail and spoke to Teaspoon about the day's events.
He was more than happy to have Emily join them, and looked forward to seeing
her again. He'd always felt bad about how the riders had treated her
following Ike's death and her eventual disappearance. He hoped now they
could make things right. He looked forward to dinner that night and the
chance to find out what brought her back to Rock Creek, all things
considered.

Kid found Buck out working on the roof of the bunkhouse. He climbed up to
talk to the only remaining rider at the waystation. Kid knew this
conversation wouldn't be easy, but he'd promised Lou.

"Got a minute?" Kid asked.

"What's up?" Buck responded.

"Why don't we sit down for a break? You been at this most of the day," Kid
answered.

"Sure. What's on your mind?" Buck figured Kid needed more woman advice. Kid
respected Buck's opinions, and they'd shared a lot of conversations lately
about Lou and her need for space with all the recent changes in her life.

"There's no easy way to say this really, so I guess I'll just go for it,"
Kid stated. "Emily's back, Rachel's offered to take her in, and she's
expectin'."

"Emily Metcalfe?" asked Buck in disgust. "She's havin' a baby?"

"Yeah," Kid replied. "Buck," he added quietly, "The baby's Ike's."

Buck was silent for a moment, trying to process the surprising news. "How'd
ya figure?" retorted Buck, clearly unhappy.

"Think about it, Buck. It doesn't take a math genius to figure it out. It's
been almost nine months. They must have had a chance to...you know...before
he died," Kid said.

"Well then why'd she take off after he died? And what's she back for now? Do
we know the whole story, or is this girl just trouble?" Buck questioned
angrily.

"I don't know, Buck. But she's in trouble, and as Ike's friends, it's our
place to help her. You of all people should realize that," Kid responded. He
knew Buck wasn't over Ike's death, and probably never would be. He also knew
that for Buck, seeing Emily would bring back all the pain he'd felt when Ike
first died. "I'll leave now. I think you need to be alone for awhile. Smells
like Rachel'll have dinner ready soon," Kid said as he climbed off the roof.
Well, Lou, I tried, he thought. Now it's up to Buck.

*****

Dinner was interesting all right, but not in the way Rachel had hoped. Upon
seeing Emily, Buck merely nodded a greeting and sat down. Rachel could tell
he was in no mood to talk. Emily, sensing his irritation, apparently felt
uncomfortable and would hardly say a word, despite Rachel and Teaspoon's
tries to get her to open up about her life the past few months. Lou had
suddenly returned to her sullen self, something that surprised both Rachel
and Kid after her upbeat mood earlier in the day. She ate like a bird, just
pushing the food around on her plate and keeping to herself. Kid watched her
worriedly, confused about how to help her. He knew she'd just get mad at him
if he encouraged her to eat, as had happened so many times lately.

Finally, Lou said, "Sorry Rachel, I just ain't hungry," and left the table.
Kid watched her leave and realized it was futile to chase after her. He
didn't want a fight, and he knew that's what he'd get if he said anything to
her at this point. Emily looked confused.

"Honey, it's not you," Rachel explained to her new charge. "Lou's just been
feelin' poorly lately's all."

Suddenly, Buck stood up, too, saying, "I ain't hungry myself." He stormed
out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

Rachel tried to think of something to comfort Emily, who she could tell was
near tears. "He just needs time to get used to the idea."

"Buck!" Teaspoon yelled, to no avail. "Get yerself back in here and be
gentlemanly fer once!"

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here," cried Emily. "I never ever should have
set foot in Rock Creek and none of this ever woulda happened!" referring
both to Ike's death and her pregnancy.

"Don't be ridiculous," Rachel replied. "You belong here now. We're thrilled
to have you! Now we got to start preparing for that little one. It shouldn't
be long, from the looks of things. We'll take a walk on over to Doc's
tomorrow so he can check you out."

Emily smiled at the graciousness of her hostess. Maybe this will work, she
thought.

Kid, worried about Louise, politely excused himself to find her. He looked
outside in the barn in Lightning's stall, figuring he'd find her there, but
the horse was there alone. Kid searched all around the waystation and didn't
see her anywhere. He started to panic, hoping something hadn't happened to
her. Then he remember he hadn't checked their room upstairs, and that was
where Lou'd been spending most of her time lately. Sure enough, he
discovered her there on their bed, fast asleep. He covered her with a
blanket, then gently caressed her soft hair. Louise, how can I help you? he
wondered. His mind began to race and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
What if she's really sick and tryin' to hide it from me? He knew Lou was
keeping to herself, waiting for his decision about fighting in the war. What
if she figures I'll change my mind if I find out and she doesn't want it to
affect my decision? Kid knew there was no way he'd convince his stubborn
wife to see a doctor, even though he'd finally decided that's what she
needed. When he'd brought it up a few days before, she nearly bit his head
off. Maybe Rachel can help, he hoped.

Chapter Four

Kid quietly closed the bedroom door behind him and headed downstairs to find
Rachel. Teaspoon was already snoring in his chair by the fireplace, and Kid
assumed Emily had turned in for the night. Rachel was finishing up the
dishes and cleaning off the table as he approached her.

"Rachel?" Kid asked tentatively.

"Yeah, Kid?" she responded.

"I, uh," he paused, not sure how to continue. "It's Lou," he said. "I'm real
worried about her and I was hopin' you could help."

"Kid, I know. I'm worried, too," Rachel replied. "I've tried just about
everything I can think of to help, but she's just so..." She let her comment
drop and fell silent.

Kid broke the silence. "I think she should see a doctor."

Concerned, Rachel asked, "Is there somethin' I don't know?"

"That's the whole thing," Kid said. "She's not eatin', she sleeps all the
time, she won't even ride Lighting. I heard you sayin' to Emily you'd take
her over to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe you could take Lou with you?" he
asked hopefully.

"Now I don't know, Kid," Rachel said. "I don't think she'll go for that. You
know how stubborn she is."

Kid laughed. "Yeah, don't I! Rachel, she'll never listen to me ëbout
somethin' like this. Maybe, you bein' a woman and all, I mean, maybe that's
what it is," he continued shyly.

Rachel smiled and took Kid's hand. "I'll do my best. Kid, honey, try not to
worry."

"I can't help it, Rachel," he said. "She's...I just love her so much, I
can't stand seein' her this way."

"We all love Louise, Kid. I'll do what I can," Rachel promised, embracing
the young man. I hope this'll work, she thought.

*****

The next morning Louise was awakened by a knock on her door. She noticed Kid
was already gone and wondered what time it was. Rachel walked in before Lou
had a chance to respond to the knock.

"Come on, Louise. Get up and get dressed," Rachel ordered. "I'm takin' Emily
in to see the doctor and then we need to stop and pick up a few things from
Tomkins'. Emily's all ready to go and Kid's got the buckboard hitched."

"Aw, Rachel," complained Lou. "Do I have to?"

"Louise," Rachel went on. "It's about time you pulled your weight around
here. Remember our discussion yesterday about bein' friends? Well, today I
need a friend, and you're it!"

Lou hung her head, realizing Rachel was right. She slowly got up and
dressed. She had a nasty headache and was in no mood to argue. Besides, she
could tell Rachel meant business. She meekly walked out the bedroom door,
Rachel following close behind her.

Emily was waiting out on the porch and smiled as she pushed herself up
awkwardly, her round belly making movement difficult. "Mornin', Louise," she
said.

"Hey, Emily," Lou responded. "Sorry ëbout last night. I shouldn'ta left the
way I did. It was rude of me."

"No harm done," Emily said, glad Lou seemed somewhat better. At least she
was talking.

"Come on, ladies," Rachel directed. "We've got a busy day ahead of us."

Kid helped Rachel into the buckboard and handed her the reins. Normally, the
women would have walked, but considering Emily's condition and their need
for a few supplies, Rachel thought it best that they drive. Kid carefully
aided Emily's climb to the seat, then paused to kiss Louise softly before
lifting her up gently next to Emily. Taking her hand, he said softly,
"Louise, we need to talk later. It's real important." Lou still looked half
asleep, smiled softly and nodded. It looked like Rachel's plan was going
well so far.

"You ladies have a good day!" Kid called as Rachel drove off. He headed off
to work on the bunkhouse roof, since Buck had taken the single ride of the
day. Kid hoped his friend would sort out his feelings about Emily's return
on the ride. Kid had done a lot of soul-searching on his recent rides and
had finally reached his decision about leaving to fight for the South. He
hoped that tonight he'd finally be able to discuss it with Lou.

Chapter Five

Meanwhile, the three women had arrived at the doctor's office. Rachel jumped
off the buckboard to secure the horses and Lou climbed down, turning to
offer whatever assistance she could to the very pregnant Emily. Fortunately,
Emily made it down safely, commenting to Louise, "I'm gettin' more graceful
everyday, don't ya think?"

Lou had to smile. She could tell Emily was making an attempt to bond with
her. Louise knew Emily had never had a close female friend, with all the
moving around she'd done with her gambling father. Maybe I'll be that
friend, Louise thought. She'd always wanted a woman friend her own age to
share secrets and dreams with, things a man just wouldn't understand.

Rachel had already gone inside the office to explain Emily's delicate and
confidential issue, and unbeknownst to Lou, she also asked the doctor to
take a look at her, too. Lou and Emily walked around the buckboard and Lou
grabbed Emily's hand to help her up the stairs. Halfway up, Lou's boot
caught the front of her skirt and she tripped, nearly dragging Emily down
with her. Luckily, the building's porch support beam was within reach and
she was able to catch herself. "Emily!" Lou cried. "You okay? God, I'm so
sorry!" Dammit! she thought. You'd think I'd never worn one of these things
before!

A surprised Emily answered, "I'm fine, Louise. How ëbout you? You okay?"

"Guess I'm pretty graceful, too," Lou answered sarcastically. "Only I don't
have the excuse you do -- I'm just a clutz!"

The girls began giggling at the thought of how they must have looked as they
entered the doctor's office.

"Somethin' funny?" Rachel asked as they entered.

The girls tried to contain their laughter. "No, nothin' important," Emily
answered, grinning at Lou. Lou just smiled slyly at Emily. Louise realized
that they were in fact, quite similar. Both had struggled to find their
place in the wild, untamed west and had faced tragedies that eventually gave
them courage and a strong sense of self. They were stubborn, opinionated,
yet very loving and understanding with open, giving hearts. I think we'll be
good friends after all, she thought.

Lou and Rachel sat down to wait as Emily followed the doctor into his
examining room.

"I was thinkin' we should stop by Tomkins' and pick out some fabric to make
Emily some baby things," Rachel said. "I don't think we have much time ëtil
the little one arrives, but with the three of us workin', we should be able
to have a good supply on hand by the time it's born."

"Sounds fine," Louise responded.

The women sat a while longer before Lou stood up and began pacing the floor.
She suddenly needed fresh air, but knew she should stay put since Emily and
the doctor should be finished soon.

"Louise," Rachel said nervously, fearing her plan was about to unravel,
"What's your problem?"

"I just hate doctor's offices," she said. "They smell funny and they make me
nervous."

"It's just his medicines is all," Rachel explained. "Please sit down. You're
makin' me nervous. Besides, it shouldn't be long now."

Lou sat, and sure enough, the doctor's exam room door opened and Emily
appeared, looking anxious. "He says any day now," she announced nervously.
She wasn't sure she was ready for this. And she desperately wished Ike could
be with her, but of course, that couldn't be.

Louise stood up, ready to escort Emily outside, but she turned abruptly as
the doctor addressed her. "Ready, Miss Louise?" he asked.

"Fer what?" she questioned.

"I heard you haven't been feeling too well lately and thought I'd take a
look at you, too."

"I'm fine," Lou retorted, heading for the door as the doctor shrugged his
shoulders and raised his eyebrows at Rachel. Rachel beat Lou to the exit,
blocking her way out. "Rachel!" Lou yelled impatiently.

"Louise, we both know you ain't been yourself for a while now. It won't hurt
to have the doc take a look at you," Rachel insisted.

"I'm fine!" Lou repeated. "Please let me out of here!" she demanded.

"Louise," Rachel replied in a tone meaning she meant business, "You are not
leaving this office until the doctor takes a good look at you. If you don't
care about yourself, that's your business. But Kid's worried, and if you
love him like you claim you do, you'll do it for him."

Lou's brow furrowed in confusion. Then she realized the two of them had
planned this whole affair and she was furious. How dare they discuss me
behind my back! she raged. Kid's gonna get an earful, she determined. That's
if I talk to him at all!

Realizing she'd been double-teamed and had no way out, she gave Rachel a
good, long glare, turned and stomped into the exam room. The doctor
followed, closing the door behind him. Rachel looked triumphantly at Emily,
who was embarrassed at witnessing Louise's outburst. They sat down to await
Lou's return.

*****

Lou was fuming as she climbed up on the doctor's exam table. He asked her
what she thought were stupid questions and she answered him curtly. As he
began his examination, Lou calmed down and began hoping he'd find something
to explain her nasty mood swings and recent exhaustion. The doctor turned
from Louise to write some notes and then said, "Louise, there's a simple
explanation for all this, and it should clear up in a bit."

"What's that mean?" Lou asked quizzically.

"Louise, you're expecting a baby. Seems like you're about three months along
or so," he explained.

Lou did some quick math in her head. She and Kid had only been married six
weeks or so. That meant she'd been pregnant on her wedding day. She figured
the doctor realized this too, and she blushed furiously. The boys had teased
her about havin "little ones" and she knew that one day they'd come along.
But already? Suddenly, she turned ghost white. Even if Kid wants to, I know
he'd never leave to fight now, she thought. He'll end up resenting me for
keeping him here when he wants to fight for Virginia. What am I gonna do? I
can't tell him yet, especially if he decides to leave!

The doctor asked Lou if she had any questions, but she just shook her head,
still in shock at hearing the news and wondering how she'd deal with it. She
climbed down off the exam table, shook the doctor's hand and quickly exited
the inner room. Rachel and Emily stood up, realizing it was time to go.
Rachel gasped when she noticed Lou's pale face. "Louise?" she asked.
"Everything okay?" What if Kid's right? she wondered, hoping it was nothing
serious.

Louise just nodded and rushed out of the office for a breath of fresh air.
She felt like she was going to be sick.

Rachel looked to the doctor for some explanation, but he told her simply,
"She's got to tell you herself. I can't do it for her."

Rachel thanked him and said simply, "We'll prob'ly be seein' you again real
soon," referring to Emily. Then she and Emily left and joined Lou on the
porch.

"Lou, honey," Rachel asked, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"Not yet, Rachel," Louise replied quietly. "Do you mind if I just walk home
and not go to Tomkins' with you?"

"Sure, honey," Rachel replied, her concern apparent. "Do whatever you have
to."

Rachel climbed up into the buckboard and Lou did her best to help Emily,
painfully aware that she'd have to be just as careful now, too. She handed
the reins to Rachel.

"Louise?" Rachel asked again, "You sure you're gonna be okay?"

"I just need some time alone is all," Lou answered, walking away.

Lou wandered through town for awhile, past the blacksmith shop where Jesse
had worked, and past the jail, hoping Teaspoon was napping, as usual, and
wouldn't see her. She eventually ended up at Noah's grave. She sat down and
softly touched his name on the grave marker. Noah, she thought, things are
such a mess since you died! Tears ran down her cheeks and she opened up her
heart to the friend she knew couldn't repeat her secret and fears. She sat
there for hours before realizing the sun was beginning to set. Kid would be
frantic, especially since she hadn't returned with Rachel and Emily. She
knew Rachel would have told him what happened at the doctor's office. Lou
had made up her mind to wait for Kid's decision before she made her
announcement. If it changed his mind, she had no control over that, but he
had a right to know. "I'd better get back," she said to Noah softly. "Thanks
for listening."

To be continued...