TITLE: Forbidden Love
AUTHOR: Ann Duncan
FEEDBACK: Duncan@pnc.com.au
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The Young Riders don't belong to the author, but to 
MGM/UA Television, Ed Spielman and Josh Kane. I'm just borrowing them. No 
copyright infringement intended.

                               Forbidden Love
                                By Ann Duncan

"Lou, I want Kid to accompany you on this run."

"Teaspoon, how many times do I have to tell you, I can look after myself!"

"I know you can Lou, it ain't you I'm worried about. It's a very important
document you're gonna be carryin' and I think it'll be safer with two guns,"
said the old man.

"Teaspoon, I won't go with Kid," said Lou firmly.

"Don't you think all this silliness and fighting between the two of you
should stop. The run is a perfect opportunity to put it all behind you,"
ventured Teaspoon.

Ike, Buck and Noah were standing by and upon hearing this tried to hide
their grins. None of them would dare say something like that to Lou. She was
fuming.

"Teaspoon, it ain't your concern and there's no way you can make me go with
him because I just won't," she protested.

"All right Lou, you win," said Teaspoon, "you can go with Noah".

"Only if he stops smirking," she said, glaring in his direction. The glare
hit him like poison arrows.

"Whatever you say boss... Oh I mean Lou," replied Noah with a grin. Lou
stormed off to the bunkhouse and Ike , Buck and Noah finally let go and
laughed out loud.

Teaspoon looked at them and chuckled a little and looked at them with one
eyebrow raised. "Sometimes I gotta wonder who's boss around here too."

When Lou arrived back in the bunkhouse, Kid was there. He glared at Lou, he
was still angry with her. A week earlier he had seen her hugging Jimmy. She
swore it was just a gesture of their friendship but Kid wasn't convinced.
Jimmy and he came to blows and Kid emerged the victor although it didn't
make him feel much better. Jimmy was doing double duty and generally laying
low for a while until Kid cooled off. Lou had tried to convince Kid that it
was innocent but he wouldn't believe her. Lou then informed him that if he
didn't trust her, then it was over. The Kid agreed and he was still a little
too angry to start regretting it.

"You needn't worry Kid," said Lou bitterly, "you don't have to come on the
run to Hammondville with me. I'm going with Noah."

"That suits me just fine," he answered quickly. He softened a little and
added, "Have a safe ride."

"She looked at him with surprise, "I will Kid."

Just then Noah entered the room. "That's the nicest thing I've heard the two
of you say to each other all week," he said.

"Just get your things Noah and let's go."

"OK, boss," he replied with a wink.

"Will you quit that!" she said, giving him a gentle punch in the arm. "I'll
meet you outside," she left the room half-smiling.

Noah looked at Kid and said, "Be careful of the wrath of Lou."

"You're tellin' me," said Kid.

"See yah Noah, look after yourself.. and Lou."

"Will do Kid".

Noah went outside and Lou had the horses ready. They were just about to
depart when Teaspoon approached.

"I don't need to remind you that this delivery is very important, you're to
give them to no one but Sheriff Duke of Hammondville," he said earnestly.
"He's an old friend of mine and you can trust him. It's a list of suspected
corrupt judges who have been letting off southern sympathizers in exchange
for money," he told them.

"Oh Boy!" said Noah. "Something tells me that this is going to be one long
ride."

"Take care." said Teaspoon.

Lou and Noah said they would and rode off. Although it was still fairly
early in the morning, it was already hot and the trail was dusty. The horses
were slower than usual because of the heat. Lou and Noah rode in silence.
Neither felt much like talking because every time they tried, their mouths
would fill with flying dirt. They eventually stopped at a stream to water
their horses. They both bent down for a drink and to wash their faces. The
cool water and shade put them in a better mood.

"I don't see any signs of anyone following us," said Noah. "Let's just hope
it stays that way."

"As a precaution. I think we should spend the night in Granville," said Lou,
referring to a nice little town that was in between Rock Creek and
Hammondville.

"Good idea," agreed Noah. He hadn't been there before but he was feeling
quite nervous about their run. It would be easier to spot any unusual
activity in a small town. "It'll be nice and quiet but I think we should
leave for Hammondville before first light."

"OK," she agreed.

Both Lou and Noah had a knack for avoiding trouble and attention when it was
necessary. Lou was enjoying his company and she told him so. "The others can
be so exasperating, they never want my input or let me make decisions," she
complained.

"You're referring to Kid, aren't you?"

"No, I'm talking about all of them except you and Buck and maybe Ike."

"Well that's only half of us that are exasperating, that's not so bad. All
of them exasperate me," said Noah in jest.

"Why are you three different?" Lou asked.

"I guess it's because we know what it's like to not count, to be ignored."
he said.

She looked at him, surprised by such a thoughtful and accurate answer. "I
think you're right," she said. "Sorry about snapping at you before Noah."

"That's OK, I'm sorry I laughed at you." He chuckled and they mounted and
rode on towards Granville.

They arrived just before sunset. "Where should we stay?" asked Noah.

"There's only two hotels," answered Lou, "Let's try the cheapest." They tied
the horses outside and entered the hotel.

"Good evening sir, two rooms please," said Lou.

"Sure he said," looking up from his newspaper. He saw Noah and fumbled with
the register in front of him. "Actually boys, I made a mistake, we're all
full up."

Noah looked at him, then at Lou. He was used to this sort of thing happening
and it never ceased to annoy him. He decided to keep his cool because he
could see by the man's face that he wouldn't relent. "Evening sir," he said
tipping his hat. Lou followed him out. She was angry about what had taken
place but she trusted Noah's instincts. They walked out together. "Funny how
there's never any vacancies when a man like me walks into a small town," he
said dryly.

"I guess that kind of thing happens all the time doesn't it?" she said,
already knowing the answer.

They entered the second hotel. "Sorry, no Negroes allowed in this
establishment," said the Clerk.

"But this is a free state!" spat Lou angrily.

"It may be a free state laddy but this is my hotel. It's got a reputation to
uphold and I don't want the likes of him sleeping in my beds," he said with
a nod in Noah's direction.

"But I bet you don't mind the likes of me making your beds or serving you
dinner now do you?" said Noah, eyeing him with equal disgust.

"That's right!" said the man. "And if I had my way, I wouldn't be paying
them neither." Upon hearing this, Lou practically jumped up on the desk but
Noah restrained her.

"I wouldn't spit in here," she informed him. The man stood up and put a hand
on the gun that was lying on the counter.

"Please leave and don't come back," he told them sternly. Noah had to
practically drag Lou out. She was really fired up.

"Don't you just want to shake some sense into him?" she asked.

"At least he's honest about it, that fella at the first place annoyed me
more. Besides Lou, there ain't no point gettin' angry. You can't change the
way a man thinks by yellin' at him. Anyway, we've got documents to deliver
and we don't need any trouble."

"That ain't the Noah I know talkin'," she challenged, "The Noah I know
fights every single time."

"Yeah, yeah, but it ain't just me who would get into trouble. What's more
important Lou? Confrontin' him or delivering these documents?"

Lou didn't answer. She admired Noah and she knew he was right. He wasn't
like the other boys. He thought things through instead of acting on his
impulses. She sighed. "What do we do now?" she asked.

"We'll set up camp just out of town, I doubt anyone will object to that."

They rode out a little way and set up camp. Lou got busy collecting wood and
Noah got the food ready. Lou smiled as she gathered the wood because she
knew that Noah saw her as an equal. They sat down and shared a can of beans
and bread.

"There sure are a lot of stars out here tonight, it sure is nicer than some
stuffy hotel room," commented Lou.

"Yeah, it is, isn't it? Although I don't know about the food," he answered.

"The stars make me feel really small," Lou said pensively.

They sat together in silence for a while and finished their meal. Lou was
looking at the stars but Noah was looking at her. "Lou," he said, breaking
the silence, "Do you think it's over between you and Kid?" he daringly
asked. She looked at him.

"I just can't believe that after all this time he still doesn't trust me,"
she said in a hurt tone.

"Aw, he's just jealous Lou."

"Well he doesn't have anything to be jealous about," she said.

"Doesn't he?"

"No he doesn't Noah," she said emphatically. "There was a time when I
entertained the thought of having Jimmy as more than a friend but that's all
they were, thoughts."

"I think there was a time when he had those same thoughts," ventured Noah.

"Yeah, maybe he did but I realized that it would be better if he was just my
friend."

"So Kid is the only man for you?"

"I'm not so sure of that anymore either. Everything's so confusin'. Why
can't it be simple with no complications like it is here with you?"

"I guess it's because practically every man you meet falls in love with
you," suggested Noah. Lou giggled and snuggled up close to him.

"Well you never fell in love with me did you Noah?" she said half joking but
half serious. She looked at him and the expression in his eyes filled her
with a sudden tension.

"A man like me isn't allowed to fall in love with a woman like you," he told
her.

"You can't choose who you fall for Noah."

"No, but you can control it Lou. Especially if there are complications." Lou
was feeling nervous at their closeness.

"Noah, what are you saying?"

"Lou, you must know that ever since...."

"Shhhh," she said. "I hear something." She sat up and realized that there
was something or someone in the bushes nearby.

"Don't move a muscle," said a man's voice. Lou and Noah obeyed. They were
just out of reach of their guns and they could tell that there was more than
one person. Sure enough, two men came out of the bushes. One was small and
dirty with a beard. The other was rather large but clean-shaven. They both
had guns.

"I don't know if I've ever seen anything like it," said the smaller man, "A
black boy and a white boy carryin' on like man and wife!"

"I-It's g-gonna make it easier to k-k-kill 'em that's for sure," stuttered
the large man.

"We know you're the pony express riders. Where are the papers?" the other
demanded, grabbing Lou and putting a gun to her head.

Noah felt the other man jab a rifle into his back. He looked into Lou's eyes
and he knew that they had to make a move pretty early or they were dead.

"In my back pocket," lied Noah.

"S-s-stand up boy, r-real-slow like," ordered the larger man. Noah stood
slowly and wondered exactly what he was going to do to get the both of them
out of this alive.

"Mr., I'm a girl, Please don't hurt me!" shrilled Lou in her best
damsel-in-distress voice. Noah used the distraction to turn and grab the
rifle butt from the man behind him. It didn't go as cleanly as he'd hoped
and the man dived on him. A struggle ensued. Lou's captor, in all the
commotion, removed the gun from her head and aimed it at Noah. Lou didn't
hesitate to push him as hard as she could. He didn't fall over but he
dropped the gun and grabbed her roughly around the shoulders. She kneed him
in the groin. He doubled over in pain and she dove for the gun, grabbed it,
and rolled over and aimed it at him all in one swift move. She glanced at
Noah who, although fighting valiantly, was struggling with the much larger
man. He was on top of Noah and had a knife. It was clear that he couldn't
hold on for much longer. The bearded man, realizing Lou was distracted,
plunged towards her and she had no choice but to shoot him. It was a fatal
wound. She heard another a guttural scream and spun around to see that Noah
had stabbed the other man. They tried to come to his assistance but it was
no use. Lou cried as she heard him in the last throes of life. Noah came to
her and hugged her tightly. "We had no choice Lou."

"I know," she said. Neither of them felt good about the killings but they
knew that it sometimes came with the job.

"What should we do?" asked Noah. "I don't think it's a good idea to ride
back to Granville, the documents are obviously hot property and they
probably wouldn't take our word about what happened here anyway."

Lou thought about it for a minute. "You're right," she agreed, "I think we
should just head for Hammondville but we'd better go quickly. If anyone
discovers the bodies they'll send a lynch mob out after us."

"Then we'd better leave now and get some distance from here before morning.
We'll explain everything to sheriff Duke when we get to Hammondville." Noah
leaned over the fire to put it out.

"Noah!" said Lou., "you're bleeding." Noah looked down.

"He must have cut me with that knife."

"Let me have a look," said Lou with genuine panic in her voice. She
unbuttoned his shirt but the wound was superficial and a quick rinse with
water fixed it up. "I would just die if anything happened to you Noah."

"I really admire the way you handled yourself Lou. We could have easily died
tonight. You're very... you're a very special girl... woman I mean." Noah
stopped talking, realizing that he was making a fool of himself. Lou looked
up at him. She was relieved he wasn't hurt. She blushed at his words and at
the sight of him with his shirt off. It wasn't like it was the first time
she'd seen his bare chest but.... well. She couldn't explain it, even to
herself. She could sense that her relationship with Noah was changing. She
was just glad that the darkness hid her red cheeks. She was feeling very
awkward when Noah broke the silence.

"We'd better be going Lou," he said, putting his shirt back on.

"I have an idea Noah." To his surprise she started to undress. His eyes
practically leapt out of his head and he felt a stirring in him. Could Lou
possibly feel the same way he did?

"Turn around Noah, quit looking at me!" Her words made him realize how
unlikely it was. He turned his back to her.

"The way I see it, they'll be looking for two male express riders not for a
man and a woman. I brought a dress with me."

"You brought a dress?"

"Yeah, I always try and bring one on long trips to big towns. I need to
dress up sometimes and be Louise instead of Lou. You can turn back around
now."

Noah turned and looked at her. She looked like a different person in a
dress. She was breathtaking. "You look wonderful," he told her. She
fascinated him.

"Let's go Noah," she answered, not acknowledging his compliment. She had
heard it and it made her smile. She loved seeing people's reactions when
they saw her in a dress. It felt nice to be considered attractive because
sometimes she didn't feel that way.

They rode quickly together in silence, hoping their horses could take it as
they hadn't had much of a rest. They were both thinking. Thinking about the
men they had killed and about what had occurred directly before that. Lou
was confused. Was Noah about to confess that he loved her? She had never had
any indication from him before that that was how he felt. Had she
misinterpreted him? She couldn't deny that Noah was special. Yes he was
handsome, all the boys were. Noah was different. He truly felt she was an
equal. She also found him to be a little more articulate and educated than
the other boys. She tried to convince herself that she had never thought
about him in a romantic way, at least not more than a passing thought, but
the fact was that when she looked into his eyes earlier, she felt something.
Was it love? She loved him as a friend. It confused her because she knew
that she had felt something more for him just now. She supposed it was
desire. Not wicked but a deep an honest kind of longing. How could she feel
that way? What about the Kid? It was ridiculous for her even to think these
kind of thoughts. She tried to push them out of her mind but it didn't help
that Noah was riding right beside her.

Noah was trying to get Lou out of his mind too. He felt guilty for taking
such a stupid risk. No one, not even Buck or Jimmy, knew that he was in love
with her. He was a master of disguise. He had only known her for a few
months. He wasn't in love with her immediately. It came on gradually and he
couldn't pin-point the exact moment when he knew that he loved her. She was
unlike any other woman. So strong, so brave, so unique. He never found it
easy to make himself vulnerable to someone and he knew that Lou was out of
the question. He had promised himself to never mention it to anyone and
tonight he had almost blown it. He suspected that she could never love him
the way he loved her.

The sun slowly rose and they started to feel a little safer. That feeling
soon left when they saw dust gathering on the horizon. Four riders were
approaching.

"Stay calm Lou," said Noah but he was talking more to himself.

"Put your hands in the air where we can see 'em," they ordered. Lou and Noah
obeyed. Upon seeing Lou, they softened a little. "Good mornin' Ma'am," said
the man who appeared to be in charge. "I'm Sheriff Duke". Lou knew that this
man was far too young to be the sheriff. He only looked about thirty but the
real sheriff was an old friend of Teaspoon's and he must have been at least
fifty thought Lou.

"Mornin' gentlemen," drawled Lou with a southern accent.

"Do you know this here Negro?" he said, glancing at Noah.

"Why yes, I own him," she answered. Noah remained silent but he was amazed.
Lou always had another trick up her sleeve.

"What are you doin' out so early," he said suspiciously.

"Well, we were coming from Benton and our buggy broke. There's no fixin' it
I'm afraid so we had to camp out," she said with a sweet smile.

"We were hopin' to reach Hammondville by noon," said Noah, wisely keeping
his eyes fixed on the ground. The men stared at them considering their
story.

"Have you been through Granville?" one of them asked.

"No we're not familiar with these parts at all. We're not from this state. I
was just visitin' relatives in Benton," said Lou. She was not sure if they
were buying her story. The men seemed satisfied with her explanation and put
their arms down.

"Well there are a couple of men wanted for murder in these parts," he lied.
He was part of a posse who planned to kill the riders and take the list.
They had split up looking for them but did not yet know that two of their
comrades had been killed by the man and the woman standing right in front of
them. "Have you seen anyone about?"

"Not a soul since yesterday," she answered. Two could play at this game.

"Well then thank you for your assistance ma'am. Be careful out. You're only
about an hour's ride from Hammondville."

"Y'all have a nice day gentlemen. I do hope you catch those murderers."

"We'll do our best ma'am," he said. The men rode off and Noah stared at her
is disbelief.

"Why you sly little thing! That's the second time you've saved our lives on
this run," he had a genuine admiration for her quick mind.

"Was I convincin'?"

"You almost convinced me boss," and they both burst into laughter. They were
relieved that the silence between them had been broken.

Lou changed back into her men's clothes just outside of town. When they
arrived in Hammondville, they delivered the documents and told the Sheriff
what has occurred (they left out the part about Lou being a woman). He
promised that he'd sort it all out and arrange for the bodies to be
collected and to round up the posse. "Well I must thank you both. You had
half the county out looking for you but you still made it here. You've done
your country proud sons."

"We were just deliverin' the mail," said Noah.

"Well you can go and stay at the 'Paragon Hotel' on me, you tell 'em Sheriff
Duke sent ya and they'll look after you."

Lou and Noah took him up on the offer. He showed them where it was and there
was no chance of them being refused entry. Sheriff Duke bid them good-bye
and they sat down to eat. They were dirty and hungry. They wolfed down their
food (much to the disgust of the other hotel guests) and went upstairs to
their rooms.

"Good night ,Noah," said Lou, she touched his hand. "It's been good riding
with you."

"Thanks for saving my life Lou, if you weren't so clever, I doubt we'd be
standing here right now." He leaned in toward her and gave her a gentle kiss
on the cheek. She withdrew hurriedly to her room and shut the door behind
her. It took her a minute to realize that she was still breathing and she
had a sudden desire for him to hold her. She hadn't expected this. She
didn't even understand it. Noah had kissed her good-night on many occasions
but it had never felt like this.

Noah was ruing himself once again. He was weary but his head was filled with
what had just happened and with what had happened the previous night. He was
finding it harder and harder to keep his feelings in check and he couldn't
help but notice that Lou was acting strangely and he wondered what might
have happened if those men hadn't shown up the night before. He thought that
he'd never have a chance with Lou but now he was beginning to wonder.

Lou and Noah did not eat breakfast together and on their return trip was a
quiet one. Lou decided that it was silly to not talk and suggested that they
camp out again. "I'm never going to stay in Granville again!" Noah grinned
at the petite woman. She was so full of light and fire.

"Well wherever we go, make sure it's near some water. The horses are pretty
thirsty and I could use a swim after ridin' in all that heat."

"It was hot wasn't it? she commented, happy that they were talking again. "I
know of a river about four miles from here."

"Sounds good to me," he replied. When they arrived, they were hot and
thirsty and decided to go for a swim in the inviting water. Their eyes met
for a second as they realized they had a problem. "You go first Lou, or we
could just go in our clothes," suggested Noah. Lou had been thinking about
him all night and her curiosity was peaking.

"Don't worry about it, Noah," she grinned. "It ain't like I've never seen
you naked before. I've seen all you boys naked. I'm sometimes not sleeping
as soundly as you think I am."

"Why you little Devil!" he exclaimed. Lou quickly stripped off and jumped in
the river. Noah hesitated. He was still unsure whether it was perfectly
innocent. "Oh what the hell!" he thought, and followed suit. He jumped
quickly into the river. Once their modesty was covered by the water, they
relaxed again. "Ahh, that feels good," said Noah. and gave a splash in Lou's
direction. She returned the favor and giggled.

"We sure deserve a little relaxation after the run we've just had," agreed
Lou.

"Trouble just seems to follow me around," sighed Noah, "but it never feels
good to kill a man."

"I know," agreed Lou. "I always thought that it was easier to be a man in a
man's world but sometimes I'm not so sure."

"I see what you mean," said Noah, "but you forgot to say 'a white man's
world'." There was an awkward moment of silence as they both pondered this.
Their eyes met and Noah could have sworn that he saw something different
about the way she looked at him. His insides were doing flips and he heart
was beating so loudly that he felt sure that she could hear it. "Who's going
to get out first?" he asked her.

"Let's do it at the same time. I won't look if you won't."

"It's a deal." They quickly got out and dressed but neither of them kept
their end of the bargain. They were both stealing glances when they thought
the other wasn't looking. Later over dinner, they continued their
conversation.

"I've been thinking about what I said before, Noah, about how maybe it's
easier to be a woman but I was wrong. It's not easy to be told that you
can't do what you want or that your opinion isn't worth anything or that you
can't earn a living at anything other than a servant, teacher or whore. Why
should we have to depend on a husband?" She was getting all worked up. "Who
made up those rules anyway?"

"The men who benefit from keeping women down would have you believe that
you're inferior. Slavery is the same kind of thing in another form. That's
the only way they know how to live. It makes them feel important to be in
charge," he told her. "I know how it feels not to be listened to, not to
count."

"How do you deal with it, Noah?" asked Lou.

"I just never let myself forget that they are the ones in the wrong. I'm not
envious of men who have black hearts and I don't envy their ignorance
either. I also know that a man who hates can never truly be happy." Tears
formed in Lou's eyes when she thought about all Noah must have been through.
All the burdens that he faced every single day. Suddenly a profound feeling
of empathy, admiration and compassion filled her heart. It was so
overwhelming that she could barely resist the urge to hold him close.

"Tell me more about Sally and your family?" she asked him.

"Oh Lou, I can't let myself get caught up in that sadness again. They
wouldn't want me to. All I know is that I'm here, now, with you, and that
this is the only moment that I have." She knew it was true. No day was
guaranteed and you never new what would happen in the next hour, or the next
minute..... She moved a little closer too him because she had been keeping
her distance.

"Noah, what were you going to say to me the other night by the fire?" she
asked. It had been eating at her.

"Never mind Lou," he said, careful not to make eye contact.

"You have a lot of secrets, don't you Noah?"

"About as many as you do I should imagine," he replied. Their eyes locked
once again and this time, neither pulled away. Lou saw the love in his eyes
and his stare was looking straight into her soul.

"Well now you have one more," she told him as she leaned closer and kissed
him gently on the lips. The electricity was overwhelming. They wrapped their
arms around each other as the kiss became more and more urgent and intense.
Noah, realizing the danger, pushed her away.

"No Lou, No. I can't do this to you. This can never be. I can't risk your
life for this."

"What do you mean?" she asked. She never expected him to push her away.

"Imagine what would happen if anyone saw me kissing you, they'd string me up
and probably you too," he explained. He'd never wanted anything so badly in
his life as right now but he had to think of her.

"They would be in the wrong Noah. Their rules are not our rules, if you let
them stop you doing things then they win."

"Yes, they're in the wrong Lou but the result would be the same. I love you
too much to risk that. I've loved you for so long but it's not worth it," he
sounded defeated.

"Why Noah?, if you love me it's worth it."

"Because I know you don't love me Lou, I know you never could." There was
silence for a moment.

"I know this is all new Noah but I think I do love you. Why is that so hard
to believe?"

"Because of the Kid." The words hung there in the silence before Noah
continued, "Lou not long ago, you went through this with Jimmy. Kid was so
angry. Maybe you wanted him to be. Maybe you're just doing this to get back
at him or something...." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he
regretted them. She looked like she had been slapped.

"How can you think that Noah? It's not like that at all, I feel a connection
between us. It's got nothin' to do with Kid or Jimmy. Don't deny that you
feel it. I know you do."

"I want to believe you Lou but what would he say if he saw you kissing a
black man?"

"I don't care what he would say," and at that moment she didn't. "It's not a
black man I want. I don't see you as 'some black man'. I know you, you're
Noah Dixon and I think I love you." He looked into her eyes and saw that she
was telling the truth. They embraced then Noah pulled back from her and
cupped her tiny face in his large hands. He looked into her brown eyes and
she into his. He saw the honesty in her eyes and he knew that she saw him
for who he truly was. No other woman had ever looked right through him as
she did at that moment. He knew there would be no more struggling with his
feelings tonight. He kissed her and this time there was no holding back. She
responded with equal vigor and they made love by the fire before nestling in
each other's arms.

The bliss they felt upon waking the next morning was brief and they both
felt a little alarmed at the enormity of the situation. What had they done?
They barely said two words as they got dressed. Neither wanted to eat. They
set out for Rock Creek. The reality seemed to set in as the sun rose. The
night had been magical but daylight made them think about what had
transpired in a harsh and rational way.

Noah thought about what would happen if anyone were to find out. He also
thought about Kid. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Kid was his
friend and he had betrayed him. Besides, Lou had only said that she thought
she loved him last night. It didn't seem to matter at the time but it did
now. He looked over at Lou. She had been purposely riding a fair way in
front of him practically the whole way. He knew that he loved her and that
his love wasn't selfish. He wasn't selfish enough to risk her life just to
be with her. He was going to have to control himself or leave the Pony
Express.

Lou was having the same kind of thoughts. She felt like Eve and the
forbidden fruit. Last night all she had wanted was Noah but now she realized
that she couldn't ignore the fact that he was black. She realized that no
one would ever allow them to be together and she wasn't even sure if she
loved him wholly and exclusively. Kid would probably never be completely out
of hers system. "Noah deserves a woman who loves him completely," she
thought. The trouble was, she felt as if maybe she could be that woman. She
definitely had strong feelings for him and the night before had been
wonderful, amazing actually. Before she knew it they were approaching the
station. Noah rode up alongside her and broke the silence. He had made his
decision and wanted to get it over with before he changed his mind.

"I've been thinking Lou, and I've decided we can never be. I'm not saying it
was a mistake, it was the most wonderful night of my life, but maybe I just
want you because I know that I can't have you,". It tore his heart out to
say this to her but he knew it was necessary. She wouldn't look at him. She
hated hearing those words but most of all she hated the truth in them. Kid
was approaching to greet them and take their horses. It was clear that he
wanted to make it up to Lou.

"Did you have a good trip?" Silence greeted him. "Let me take the horses,"
he said enthusiastically. He knew it would take Lou a while to come around.

"Thanks," they said in unison. Kid led the horses away to the stables. Lou
and Noah were left standing alone. They suddenly felt like strangers.

"Well don't you have anything to say?" Noah asked.

"What can I say Noah?" she said, "It's obvious that you've already made up
your mind." She knew it was a cop out but she just needed more time to sort
herself out.

"OK then Lou, let's just pretend this never happened and carry on as
before," he said. She nodded and hurried of to the bunkhouse so he couldn't
see the tears in her eyes. He watched her go and tears welled in his eyes
too. He hadn't cried in years. He knew that it would be impossible to
pretend that nothing had happened but he would try. The fact that Lou didn't
even argue with him convinced him that she didn't love him. Lou always
fought passionately for what she wanted and he supposed that that was the
reason why he was crying. He resolved that he would move on. Was it possible
to forget Louise McCloud? He was pondering this as he watched her figure
walk to the bunkhouse. She was entering the door when she suddenly turned
around and looked at him. He saw that she had tears in her eyes. Her gaze
was filled with an intense look of love and passion that his heart stopped
for a moment. Her look made him aware that their feelings weren't resolved
yet. This filled his heart with both joy and trepidation. He continued to
stare at the door even after she had entered the bunkhouse. He jumped out of
his skin when Kid grabbed his shoulder.

"Is Lou still mad at me?" he asked.

"I don't know Kid," replied Noah.

"Well, I'm gonna make it up to her. I love her you know," he declared.

"I know you do Kid," said Noah. He understood what it was like to love Lou.

"Your eyes look kinda red Noah, lotta dust on the trail?"

"Yeah Kid"

"Anythin' excitin' happen on the run?" he asked. Noah looked at him.

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Why don't you tell me about it at dinner," said Kid. He didn't have the
same problem as Cody. He could tell when a man didn't want to talk.

"Yeah, maybe I will," he answered.

Kid walked away and Noah shook his head. He half shuddered and half laughed
at the thought of telling Kid about the last few days. He didn't want to
anyway. They were secret and special memories. They were the most wonderful
days of his life and he didn't want to let them go, but they were behind him
now and it was time to face the new challenges that lay ahead.

                                  The End