Chapter 2

A baby. How could she not have known? Lou sat on the bank of the creek, her
feet dangling in the cool water. Sunlight danced on the surface of the water
and on the opposite bank tall grass and wildflowers dipped and swayed in the
breeze, but Lou was blind to the pretty scene laid out before her. She sat
staring at, but not really seeing, the water running past her legs.

A baby. Why hadn't she guessed? Well that was an easy one, she hadn't
guessed because she hadn't wanted to think of that possibility. Now what
would she do? That one was a little harder to answer.

A baby. Unbelievable. But true. Lou looked up, suddenly realizing she'd been
staring into space for the last few hours. The sun would be down soon and
she was only halfway home.

*****

Rachel reached the end of the porch and turned to pace back to the other,
Teaspoon got to his feet to block her path.

"Rachel, every time I've seen you today you've been pacing back and forth,
now you're starting to make me dizzy. Lou will get here when she gets here."

"I know Teaspoon, but it's getting dark and I can't help but worry. And I
want to be the one to tell her, although heaven knows how I'm going to do
it." She said looking out at the rapidly darkening sky.

"I don't think you have to worry about one of the boys spilling the beans
Rachel. I doubt that any of them even want to be around when you tell her."

"I can't blame them, I wish I didn't have to tell her either." Rachel
sighed. She watched the red glow of the sun sink below the horizon, and in
the last of the fading light, thought she saw someone approaching. "I think
it's Lou, they're heading this way, it must be her." she sighed again and
went out to meet her.

Lou saw Rachel approaching and slid off Lightning's back.

"Rachel, I have to talk to you, it's really important, can we go over to
your house. I have to see to Lightning first, but I do need to talk to you,
I know it's late..." The words tumbled out of her mouth, like a river over a
waterfall. Rachel nodded, sensing her nervousness.

"Fine, I need to talk to you too, you see to Lightning and come over when
you're done." She looked back at the bunkhouse and saw that the others had
gathered out on the porch, she waved them back inside, this was going to be
hard enough without an audience.

Rachel was waiting in the kitchen when Lou came to the door, Rachel
immediately ushered her inside.

"Come in, sit down. Louise I have to tell you something, I've been searching
for an easy way to say it, but there isn't one, least not one that I can
find." She began, sitting at the kitchen table opposite Lou. "So I think the
best way is just to say it straight out..."

"Rachel, I'm pregnant." The statement hung in the air.

"You're? A baby, you're going to have a baby?" Several emotions flitted
across her face, shock, joy, then sadness. "Are you sure?"

"The doctor in Black Creek seemed pretty sure. Rachel what is it?" Lou
hurried round the table to Rachel's side. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Louise, it's wonderful really, but it makes what I have to tell you that
much harder. Yesterday Kid and Eliza went to St. Joe, to be married. I'm so
sorry."

"I don't understand," Lou said, her voice barely a whisper. "They've only
been engaged two days."

"I know honey, and it was a surprise to us too. Kid asked Teaspoon for some
time off and Teaspoon didn't think to ask what it was for, then I found this
letter at my door after they had left." She took the letter from her skirt
pocket and handed it to Lou. She unfolded the paper with shaking hands.

Dear Rachel,
This isn't the how I wanted to do this, but I think it is for the best this
way.
Eliza and I have gone to St. Joe to be married, we would have liked to have
you all with us but with the war coming we thought it was better to get
married while we could. Please explain to the others. We will be back in
a week, please be happy for us.
Kid

"Are you all right? Louise I'm sorry, I don't know what to say..." Rachel
trailed off, feeling helpless in the face of Louise's confusion.

"Well, I can't tell him now. There's nothing he can do." She said calmly,
forcing her rioting emotions back under control.

"Oh no, he has a right to know that he has a child, it's not fair to keep it
from him."

"I'm not sure I was going to tell him anyway. You know Kid, he'd insist on
doing the right thing and I don't want him coming back to me because he
thinks he has to. And anyway now that he's married there's nothing he can
do." She repeated. "He'll notice eventually, being pregnant isn't easy to
hide for long."

"Not if I went away, I've been thinking about everything and I can't stay
here anymore. What will people say when I walk down the street? ÔLook
there's that boy who used to ride for the express, he's having a baby now.'
But if I go somewhere new I can just call myself Mrs. McCloud and say I'm a
widow, no one would have to know. The doctor in Black Creek made that
mistake, he assumed I was married because I was pregnant." Lou stated.

"No Lou, you can't leave, you can't go through this alone. I want to help
you, there must be some other way."

***** "What do you see?" Jimmy asked Cody, whose face was pressed to the
window.

"Well the lights' still on in Rachel's kitchen, that's all I can see from
here."

"Do you think she told her?" Buck asked nobody in particular.

"I don't know but I'm getting closer." Cody said, moving to the door. Jimmy
grabbed him.

"Don't you dare. If they knew you were spying on them Lou would feel worse
than she probably already does."

"Hey! You just asked me what I could see, so you're spying on them too."
Cody said, defending himself.

"I didn't say to go right up to the house though." Jimmy snapped back. They
fell into a moody silence, Jimmy sitting back down at the table and Cody
returning to his post by the window.

*****

Lou lay on the bed, the room dark and alien to her. She had asked to stay at
Rachel's for the night and Rachel had accepted, still a little rattled by
Lou's calm. But now, alone in the dark, the tears came, rolling silently
down her face. Her chest ached from holding in the sobs that threatened to
burst out. It had taken all her will power to hold in the shock and pain she
had felt upon hearing Rachel's news. In the space of one day her world had
been turned upside down and she didn't believe anything could ever make it
right again. She rolled on her side hugging a pillow to her chest wishing
she could go to sleep and never have to wake up again.

Rachel stood outside Lou's door, her hand raised to knock. She hesitated
even though it tore her heart to hear Lou crying as though her heart were
breaking, which it almost definitely was.

Still she hesitated sure that Lou wanted to be alone with her pain.

*****

The next morning to Rachel's surprise when she came downstairs Lou was
already in the kitchen, burning the boys breakfast.

"Good morning Louise, how are you this morning?"

"Good, I feel better," she looked over her shoulder at Rachel. "Honest
Rachel, I do feel better. But I think maybe you should take over here, I
don't think they'd be too happy if I try to poison them again." Rachel
crossed the room and took control of the cooking, while Lou poured her some
coffee.

"I know I was acting strangely last night but I am all right now. I'm not
happy about it but I can't change it, no matter how much I want to. The man
I love married someone else, I'm going to have a baby, I have nowhere to go
and I have to quit my job. This is what I have to deal with, I can't feel
sorry for myself." "You know you can stay with me for as long as you need to
Louise, I want you to. So you don't have to worry about that. And I think
you have the right to feel sorry for yourself, I would."

Jimmy stood outside the kitchen door stunned by what he had just overheard.
He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he had come over to Rachel's early hoping to
catch her alone, so he could ask her about Lou. He was about to leave when
he heard them talking, but then he'd caught some of the conversation. She
was going to have a baby? Lou? He backed away from the door as quietly as he
could, silently thanking Noah for fixing the squeaking boards Rachel had
been complaining about.

In the kitchen Rachel and Louise talked on, unaware of their audience.

"So when are you going to tell Teaspoon that you're quitting?" Rachel asked,
looking for a neutral topic.

"This morning I guess, seeing as I'm not giving any notice I should tell him
right away. It sure will be strange not working anymore." She said, wringing
her hands together unconsciously.

"Well you've got to look after yourself now, get plenty of rest and eat
properly." Rachel told her, sliding a plate in front of her. Lou smiled to
herself as she began to eat, somehow she didn't think she'd have any trouble
looking after herself with Rachel around.

Louise walked down the street, a little self consciously, it was a long time
since she had been out in a dress in her own town, and that was usually at
night. Although it was still early the town was already beginning to stir,
stores were opening and people were going about their business. Louise
wasn't sure if Teaspoon would be awake yet, but she had wanted to leave
Rachel's before the others arrived for breakfast. She arrived at Teaspoon's
office to find Jesse sweeping out front, although he seemed more to be
pushing the dust around, daydreaming, than actually getting rid of it. He
saw Lou coming and tipped his hat shyly.

"Ma'am," then he took a second glance. "Lou? What are you doing here?" He
asked, surprised to see her in a dress.

"I wanted to talk to Teaspoon, is he here?" Louise asked him nervously.

"Sure he's here, he's not in a good mood though." He warned her, a second
later they both got a demonstration of Teaspoon's mood.

"Jesse!" he yelled, "Stop gas bagging and get sweeping!" Lou couldn't help
but jump at the tone of his voice, even though she knew - hoped - it was
only for show. She knocked softly on the door, and went in on his gruffly
barked command.

"Morning Teaspoon." She said when he didn't look up from his desk.

"Mornin' Lou, Louise." He amended, when he saw the dress. "And to what do I
owe this honor? I hope you're not going to ask for time off, as much as I'd
like to oblige you, with Kid gone... whoops I said the wrong thing, didn't
I?"

"No, no it's all right, actually I didn't come to ask for time off. I came
to quit."

"What!?" Teaspoon exclaimed. "Now Lou, I know you've had a hard time the
last couple of days, but are you sure you want to quit. I mean giving up
your job because of Kid..."

"No Teaspoon, its not because of Kid, well not entirely. There's another
reason, I don't want to go into it right now, but it is important. I'm
sorry, I feel like I've let you down." Her eyes filled with tears at the
thought of disappointing this man, whom she thought of as a father.

"Oh Lou, don't do that, don't cry." Teaspoon said jumping up, disconcerted
by her tears. "You're not letting me down, I'll be sorry to let you go, but
if you feel you have to quit then I won't try to change your mind. Of course
there would always be a job here for you if you changed your mind..." He
patted her shoulder awkwardly and handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.
"It'll probably take a couple of weeks to find a replacement, I know you
said you don't want to go into it but do you think you can wait that long?"

"I meant today," she wiped her eyes and tried to compose herself. "I know
it's short notice and I swear I'll explain when I can, but I just can't talk
about it yet."

"If it's that important to you we can work something out, don't you worry."

*****

Teaspoon stuck his head out the door, feeling slightly ridiculous about
sneaking out of his own office, but if Lou wouldn't tell him what was going
on then he would just have to find out on his own. And if there was one
person who would know it was Rachel, the only difficulty would be getting
her to tell without letting on that he didn't know.

He spotted Jesse leaning on his broom staring into space.

"Jesse," The boy jumped about a foot then began sweeping industriously.

"Almost done Teaspoon." Teaspoon took the broom away from him.

"Which way did Lou go?" He asked impatiently. Jesse motioned down the
street, where a lone figure wandered idly towards the edge of town.

"You want me to go get her Teaspoon?" He asked, all at once eager to please.

"No no, I'll be over at Rachel's if anyone wants me."

He arrived at the house just as the boys were finishing breakfast, he
rattled off a list of chores and sent them away so that he could speak to
Rachel.

"I'm guessing this isn't a social call. Lou's spoken to you." It was more of
a statement than a question. "And she's told you?" Teaspoon nodded, feeling
slightly guilty about lying to her.

"Oh Teaspoon, I'm so worried about her, she seems so calm, too calm. She's
so matter of fact about the whole thing, I think she still in shock after
finding out about Kid and Eliza, but I don't know what to do. Should I leave
her be and hope she can work through it on her own, or should I try to make
her talk about it, she's been hurt so much already I don't want to make it
worse." Rachel, so relieved at having someone to talk to, spilled out all
her worries.

"Well, ah I don't rightly know what to suggest Rachel. She seemed all right
when she came to see me but then right in the middle she just burst out
cryin', now I've never seen her do that before. And I must say it surprised
me, which is why I came here."

"Oh if only Kid had waited another few days before leaving, maybe all this
could have been avoided. Just one more day and Louise would have known,
could have told him about the baby..." She trailed off and her eyes filled
with tears. "So many people are going to get hurt, it just doesn't seem
fair."

Teaspoon stared at Rachel as if she had grown another head.

"Bad things happen, some people seem to get more than their share. I'm sure
Lou'll be all right, she's strong. Ah, I left Jesse in charge of the office,
I better get back there." He excused himself quickly before he gave away his
astonishment. Louise pregnant, that was probably the last thing he would
have thought of. No wonder Lou seemed so unsettled, the world was hard on
unmarried mothers. The scandal could follow her the rest of her life, and
probably the child's as well.

*****

Jimmy had watched from the bunkhouse, as Lou walked into town. It had been
hard to sit through breakfast knowing what he knew, Rachel had been
distracted, not responding to the others banter in her usual cheerful way.
Now he couldn't help thinking her, wondering how she must be feeling, broken
hearted, shattered, defenseless, helpless...

"Hey, you gonna stay up there all day?" His reverie was broken by a shout
from below, and suddenly he was back in the hayloft, pitchfork in hand.
Although it was still early the loft was already hot and airless, making his
thoughts slow to return to the task at hand.

"What's the matter Hickok, you fall asleep up there?" Noah called again.
Jimmy quickly climbed down the ladder and joined Noah on the barn floor.

"I was just thinkin'." He said, before the inevitable question was asked.

"I don't need to ask Ôabout who'." Noah laughed.

"Hey Noah, you can handle this on your own, can't you? There's something I
gotta do."

Noah heaved a good-natured sigh and then nodded.

"I can guess, you owe me though." Jimmy was already saddling his horse, he
had had a sudden inspiration as to Lou's whereabouts. The pond just out of
town, it was only a short ride but a fairly descent walk. He reached the
pond about ten minutes later and he saw Lou sitting in the shade of one of
the trees, her back against the trunk, gazing out over the water, looking
like she didn't have a care in the world.

"Hello Jimmy." She said as he dismounted. "Who sent you, Rachel or
Teaspoon?"

"No-one, I was just wondering how you are, I haven't seen you since you left
for Black Creek, and I know about Kid, so I was just..."

"Wondering how I am." She finished for him. Jimmy was surprised to hear the
bitterness in her voice, but then as he thought about it, maybe he wasn't.

"Can I sit down?" He asked cautiously, lest she bite his head off.

"Sure," she smiled up at him, the bitterness gone from her voice. "I'm
sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." She patted the ground next to her,
inviting him to sit.

"Lou, I need to tell you something, I came to see you...

"No Jimmy, I don't want to know,' She interrupted. "Every time someone says
they have something to tell me my life gets more messed up."

"Please Lou I have to tell you. I came to see you before, at Rachel's, you
two were talking, I didn't want to interrupt, I swear I didn't mean to
listen..." The color drained from Louise's face.

"What exactly did you hear?" She asked, her voice sounded strained to her
own ears.

"I heard you say that you were, you know." He gestured towards her stomach,
his face burning with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean... I
haven't told anyone." He finished lamely. They sat for a while in silence,
before Lou could speak again.

"Thank you for not telling anyone, although I suppose they'll find out soon
enough."

"Lou, if there's anything I can do for you, anything you need, you just
ask."

Then an thought, that had probably been hiding in the back of his mind since
he overheard the women talking, appeared in front of him.

"Louise," she looked up at him, drawn both by his use of her full name and
his serious tone.

"I, ah... would... will you marry me?"

To be continued...