Jack: Where's he transferring from?
Sam: She is transferring from the Pentagon. Captain Samantha Carter, reporting for duty, sir.
Kawalsky: But of course you go by 'Sam'.
Sam: You don't have to worry, Major. I played with dolls as a kid.
Kawalsky: G.I. Joe?
Sam: Major Matt Mason
Jack: For those of you on your first trip through the Gate you should be prepared for what to expect.
Sam: I've practically memorized your report from the first mssion. I'd like to think I've been preparing for this all my life.
Kawalsky: Um, I think what the Colonel is trying to say is... Have you ever pulled out of a simulated bombing run in an F-16 at eight-plus Gs?
Sam: Yes
Kawalsky: Well, it's way worse than that.
Jack: Ah, here we go. Not another scientist, please.
Sam: Theoretical astrophysicist.
Jack: Which means what exactly?
Hammond: Which means she's smarter than you are, Colonel. Especially in matters relating to the Stargate.
Sam: Colonel, I was studying Gate technology for two years before Daniel Jackson made it work and before you both went through. I should have gone through then. Sir, you and your men might as well accept that I am going through this time.
Jack: With all due respect, Doctor--
Sam: It is proper to refer to a person by their rank, not their title. You should call me Captain, not Doctor.
Hammond: Captain Carter's assignment to this unit is not an option. It's an order.
Sam: I'm an Air Force officer, just like you are, Colonel. And just because my reproductive organs are inside instead of outside doesn't mean I can't handle
whatever you can handle.
Jack: Oh, this has nothing to do with you being a woman. I like women. It's scientists I have a probelm with.
Sam: Well, Colonel, I logged over a hundred hours in enemy airspace during the Gulf War. That tough enough for you? Or are we gonna have to arm wrestle?
Jack: Captain?
Sam: Don't worry, Colonel. I won't let you down.
Jack: Good. I waas going to say, 'Ladies first'.
Sam: You know, you really will like me when you get to know me.
Jack: Oh, I adore you already, Captain.
Sam: I'm not an anthropologist.
Jack: You are today.
Jack: I don't know... it kinda works for me. (On seeing Sam in the Shavadi gown)
Jack: All things considered... Samantha... if we have to come back here it might be a better idea if we brought an all male team... No offense.
Sam: Well. In view of the fact that you all get to go to this party tonight and I get to stay in this yurt that smells like rancid yak butter, none taken.
Sam: I've never been so happy to see you guys.
Jack: Oh sure you have! Remember that time on P3X595, you drank that stuff that made you take off y--
Sam: Ahem... We won't get into that right now...
Jack: Carter, Ah sorry, I didn't know you were in here.
(she kisses him)
Jack: What the hell is going on?
Sam: I want you.
(she kisses him again)
Jack: Why? I mean, no. Carter, you're a little out of line don't ya think?
(she throws him onto the locker room bench)
Sam: Don't you want me?
Jack: No, no, well not like this, right here on the...
(she kisses him)
Jack: Carter, what's gotten into you?
(she kisses him yet again, Jack rolls so he's on top of her)
Jack: I think it's time you saw a doctor, doctor.
Daniel: ...Woah, what happened to you?
Jack: Got in a little wrestling match with Carter.
Daniel: Why?
Jack: I guess she's got whatever Johnson's got. I had to drag her off to the infirmary.
Daniel: What, did she try and start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?
Jack: No, she...she tried to seduce me.
Daniel: Oh...you poor man.
Jack: No, it wasn't like that, she was like a wild animal, she was nuts.
Daniel: Is she alright? I mean, I should go see her.
Jack: Why?
Daniel: What do you mean why? Because I care about her.
Jack: You care about her, what does that mean?
Daniel: It means I care about her, she's my friend, now let go of me.
Jack: She's not yours to care about.
Daniel: What the hell are you talking about?
Jack: I'm talking about Samantha, you just stay away from her.
Sam: Ah, sir about my earlier behaviour, I...I wasn't myself, I...
Jack: Oh, Carter, I don't even remember your earlier behaviour.
Sam: You don't?
Jack: No, I was infected too, remember?
Sam: Right, Good, I'm glad.
Jack: By the way, how's the wound?
Sam: Wound?
Jack: I understand you got stabbed in the stomach or something?
Sam: Oh yeah, it was nothing. With any luck there won't even be a scar.
Jack: Good, I was concerned.
Sam: smiling You were?
Jack: Sure, if it doesn't heal properly, you'll never wear that sweet little tank top number again.
O'Neill: Where’s the DHD?
Carter: Can’t find that either.
O'Neill: Oh. So uh... we’re in trouble.
Carter: We’re in trouble.
O'Neill: Just take it easy Doctor.
Carter: Wrong kind of Doctor I’m afraid.
O'Neill: You wouldn’t think jagged bone digging into raw nerves would hurt, but it does.
Carter: This is gonna hurt.
O'Neill: I know. I know I know I know.
Carter: So what happened?
O'Neill: I hit the ground. Go figure.
Carter: What’s wrong with your chest?
O'Neill: I think I cracked a rib too.
Carter: Why didn’t you say something?
O'Neill: I was afraid you’d try to put a splint on it.
Carter: I didn’t know you could cook.
O'Neill: I can’t. But my melted ice is to die for.
Carter: Um, Colonel?
O'Neill: It’s my sidearm, I swear. No giggling. Please.
Sam: Daniel, when you were in this alternate reality, were there differences?
Daniel: Yes, er, Teal'c was leading the attack on earth, I wasn't even part of the program, you and Jack were engaged to get married. --
Jack: Excuse me?
Sam: What...ok, er, even if you did experience this alternate reality, doesn't the very fact that there were differences mean that we won't face the same fate?
Daniel: Yes, but the defining event, the death of Ra took place in both worlds.
Teal'c: An attack of retribution.
Daniel:Yes, and the same thing is going to happen here, unless we stop it.
Jack: All right, wait a minute, let me get something straight here...engaged?
Sam: It's theoretically possible.
Jack: It's against regulations!
Sam: I'm talking physics, Sir.
