Tara nervously stepped forward. "I'll show you everything," she offered
with a shy smile.

"Tara, right?"

She nodded and led him off.

"Well, I like him," Willow announced. "Not stuffy at all."

"Yeah, not a speck of tweed on him," Buffy concurred. "What happened, did
he fail that course?"

"Apparently," Giles muttered, sitting heavily in a chair. "Look, you girls
mustn't encourage Chance. He's read about the dangers of the Hellmouth and
he has all the book knowledge, but as we all know, it's not the same. I
don't want anyone getting him killed. My brother would murder me, and
besides, he's my favorite nephew." He rubbed at his glasses a bit and
shrugged. "He's my only nephew. And besides, he's been known to lie."

"Really." Buffy tried to contain her grin.

"Absolutely."

The two girls looked at each other and smiled. An interrogation was
definitely in order, just as soon as they could get Chance out from under
Giles' watchful eye.

The day passed quietly, perhaps the quiet before the storm. Tara and
Chance did the inventory and Anya played with the money. Buffy trained in
between her classes and Willow recopied her notes with a system of
different colored pens, a habit she hadn't fully given up yet; only helping
with the work when they needed her to levitate some boxes.

At six o'clock, Xander rang the bell as he came in the front door.
"Anybody home?"

"We are here and we have made lots of money today," Anya announced proudly.


"That's my girl."

Chance stood back to watch the tall, broad shouldered man. He looked like
a construction worker, if the hat in his hand was anything to go by, and he
certainly had the muscles to go with it. Nummilicious.

"Chance," Giles called. Chance scuttled forward to meet the new person.
"Xander, this is my nephew Chance, our intern."

They shook. Xander unintentionally crushed Chance's hand, just because he
was bigger and stronger and really didn't realize it yet. "Nice to meet
you."

"Uh...same here."

The door opened again and Chance looked up. The sun was just setting and
whoever had just come through the door, it could only be Spike. Spike,
Spike, Spike. That was all Edith talked about these days. She wore
leather like him. She talked like him. She'd even shaved part of her
eyebrow to look like him. Talk about obsessive. But, my oh my! What a
sight.

"That's Spike," Giles told his nephew dismissively.

"Of course it is," slipped out of Chance's rather numb lips. He could only
stare. I mean, Edith had told him and told him, but until he saw it for
himself he couldn't know the truth of it, William the Bloody was fucking
beautiful.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer," the vampire snarled.

"Oh, but it lacks texture."

"Ignore him, Chance," Willow urged. "Come sit and tell us all about Uncle
Rupert." She patted a chair between her and Buffy.

"What's in it for me?"

She pulled open her backpack. "I have dingdongs, hohos and twinkies."

Chance arched a brow. "I really don't want to know."

"Oh, they're the stuff," Xander assured him. "They're like cake only not
and they have cream inside."

"I'm not sure that makes it any better." Chance sat gingerly in the
indicated chair. "How are they not cake?"

"As in they would live through a nuclear winter," the brunette replied
seriously.

"I'm very frightened."

The Scoobie-ites laughed and passed him several of the cellophane wrapped
items to try.

"So," Willow pressed, "Uncle Rupert?"

"Indeed." Chance eyed a twinkie warily, tearing at the yellow cake, to
poke at the cream inside. "What is it you want to know?"

Xander leaned forward on his elbows grinning and said just one word,
"Ripper."

"Oh." Chance smiled back and absently licked cream off his finger. "You
want to know about him and Ethan, do you?" Three heads nodded vigorously.
"I don't know why they ever broke up. All of their pictures together are
just devastating, all leather and anti-society. I always wanted to be just
like them."

"Absolutely not, young man!" Giles seemed to appear out of nowhere,
materializing next to Chance's chair.

"Oh, hi, Uncle Rupert." Chance tried to look as small as possible, but it
wasn't working.

"Oh, let up on the boy," Spike told him, settling into an empty chair.
"Just wants to be a chip off the old block." Smirking, he turned his gaze
on Chance. "Personally I approve."

Chance blushed.

"That's enough, Spike. You will not encourage my nephew."

The phone rang, just in the nick of time, saving Chance from death by
scolding. The young man breathed a deep sigh of relief as Uncle Rupert
jumped up to answer it.

"So?" Xander prompted Chance, after Giles left.

"Not likely."

"Oh, come on, we gave you twinkies."

"And this is supposed to sway my opinion?"

"Oh dear god," they heard from across the room.

"Uh-oh." Buffy stood and began pacing because that's what she usually did.
Anya wrong her fingers because that seemed to be the appropriate thing to
do when her girlfriend was pacing. Willow and Tara held hands.

Chance sighed and leaned forward on his elbows. "He got that from his
brother."

"Really..." All eyes turned on him. Willow gestured for more.

"Absolutely. Father is the older brother and after Uncle Rupert was done
rebelling, he began to do everything just like Father. Guilt most likely.
You know, almost ending the world and all that, and Father had to pull his
arse out of the fire, at least that's the way Father tells it. See, there
was this demon named Eyghon - "

"Met him," Buffy interrupted.

"Yes, but did ever hear about the morning after the ritual? Uncle Rupert
is sneaking back in the window in his all together and Grandmum catches
him. She shuts the window and locks it so he has to knock on the front
door." Snickers. "Uncle Rupert is hiding in the bushes and ringing the
bell - "

"Chance!"

"Sorry, Uncle Rupert."

Giles snorted. "Nigel would be an improvement at this point." Chance
pouted as cutely as he was able to. "It's never worked on me before,"
Giles whispered rather venomously, "why do you think it would now?"

"Because I've been working really hard on it?" Chance tried to get a lower
lip tremble going, but he wasn't quite that good yet.

"Not bloody likely."

Chance snorted and slumped back in his chair, his arms crossed over his
chest. His blonde hair flopped forward into his eyes.

"What was the 'oh, dear god' about?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, my, yes. Cordelia was on the phone. They're on their way here."

"Angel?" Buffy and Anya asked in unison.

"Indeed. It seems that Miss Chase has had a vision and she and Angel and
their associates are on their way here. The apocalypse is imminent,
apparently."

"Again?" the children chorused.

"Indeed."

"Cool," Chance breathed. Giles shot him a dirty look.

Part Three  

"Cool," Chance breathed. Giles shot him a dirty look.

"You are not to get anywhere near this apocalypse, Chance," Giles
admonished. "You are staying right here and minding the store."

"But Uncle Rupert!"

"Don't you 'Uncle Rupert' me. You heard me, young man."

"Hmmmph!" Chance slumped in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest
again and those bangs of his fell right back in his eyes.

"So, what's the scoop," Buffy asked. "Demons? Sorcerers? Vampires?"

"Gerbils, I'm afraid." Giles began to very seriously clean his glasses.
Everyone just stared at him. You could hear a pin drop. "What? Very evil
gerbils."

"So, they're going to naw us to death?" Xander asked. Everyone laughed.

"I do believe you're not taking this threat very seriously."

"Sorry, Giles," Buffy apologized, "but gerbils? Just how are gerbils going
to cause the apocalypse?"

"It was Miss Chase's vision, not mine. We'll bloody well find out when
they get here."

Chance was on pins and needles waiting for Angel and his people to arrive.
He tried to pay attention to his assigned reading, but really, he'd never
seen anything about world ending gerbils before and he didn't expect to
now. He idly flipped through his book, scanning the pages.

Xander leaned forward conspiratorially as soon as Giles was out of earshot.
"If you stare at a page for 3.52 minutes, then flip, he'll never know
you're not reading it."

"Really..."

"Take it from a pro."

Leaning on his fist in a way that he hoped looked sexy, "I bet you've got
lots of tips."

"Millions of them."

"I'd loooove to hear."

Spike snorted, trying not to laugh.

"Hey, the XandMan is always at your disposal." Xander smiled. "So, did
you bring any pictures with you?"

"Of what?"

"Giles! What else?"

Willow and Buffy leaned in too, anxious to get in on this conversation.
"Yeah, we want to see pictures of him with Ethan Rayne," the red head told
him. "And maybe some baby pictures...ooo and pictures of him running naked
through the sprinkler."

"I think that was just you, Wils," Xander laughed.

"I wouldn't mind seeing those," Spike put in.

"She was seven."

"Eww, never mind."

"We'll trade pictures of Giles at Halloween," Buffy added, hoping to
sweeten the deal. She smiled in her cutest, 'I'm really not being evil, no
really,' manner.

"That's enough, children. I can hear you."

Properly chastened, they went back to their 3.52 minutes per page, flip.
Spike ignored them and continued doing his nails.

"Edith sent some nail polish for you," Chance told the vampire without
looking up.

"Who?"

"Blond watcher chick. Obsessed with you."

Spike grinned. "Oh, her. Remember her. She was a cute little nibblet."

Chance extracted two bottles of polish from his left hip pocket. "Well,
she sent these." He glanced at the bottoms. "Gash and Perversion."

"Hey, now, there's a name." Spike snatched them up. "Like them. Very
hip. Tell your bird she's all right." He finished slicking up his nails
with the black, black Perversion.

"I'll let her know."

There was a knock at the door. "Anybody home?" The angelic face of one
half of the Scourge of Europe peered around the door.

"Oh, do come in, Angel," Giles called. The vampire smiled and traipsed
into the shop, his entire entourage in tow.

"Wesley?" a little voice whispered. The x-watcher looked around. Not fast
enough apparently. With a wild cry, Chance launched himself into Wesley's
arms, knocking the other man over.

"Chance?"

"Wesley!"

"Oh, my, well, you're certainly not ten anymore."

"Glad you noticed."

"Chance," Giles admonished, "get off Mr. Pryce this instant. I thought
your mother taught you better than that."

Chance pouted. "She always said manners never applied to Wesley. He's
like family."

"I'm afraid he's right, Mr. Giles." Wesley pushed Chance far enough back
so he could sit up. "Mrs. Giles was always very firm about things like
that. Now, Chance, whatever are you doing here in America."

"Intern."

"We make him get coffee," Willow enthused. "Only, we haven't yet, but we
will. We fully intend to use and abuse and ... and that sentence wasn't
going well."

"Oh, I don't know, sounded good to me." Chance grinned and stuck his
tongue out at her. Willow blushed. Rolling to the side, Chance finally
allowed Wesley to stand.

"Ah, well, yes then. Chance, this is Miss Cordelia Chase, Charles Gunn and
the illustrious Angel, whom I'm sure you've read about. All, this is
Chance Giles, Mr. Giles' nephew."

"Really? You don't look a thing alike," Angel mused, then had the grace to
look embarrassed when Cordelia and Wesley simultaneously shot him a dirty
look.

"I take after my mother," Chance told the vampire, letting him at least a
little off the hook. "So, apocalypse?" he bounced on his toes with the
excitement of it all.

"Ah, yes, nasty business." Wesley shook his head meaningfully. "Gerbils."

"Okay," Buffy grinned, trying not to laugh, "and we're all thinking, big
deal?"

"Vampire gerbils," Angel told her, "with big, nasty teeth."

"I had a vision," Cordelia continued the explanation. "This vampire gerbil
was biting the neck of his poor owner and then there were all of these
gerbils standing around the Hellmouth and then the Hellmouth opened. And
then there was lots of aspirin. Lots of aspirin. Actually, anybody got
anymore?" Gunn pulled a bottle out of one of his many pockets and started
dispensing it.

"See, vampire gerbils," Angel reiterated. "Just think of all of those poor
little girls and boys who thought they were buying a perfectly innocent
little gerbil and now..." He spread his hands for effect.

"Now they're being eaten alive," Spike enthused. "Oh yeah!"

"Just think of poor Richard Gere," Xander put in.

"Ewww, didn't want to go there," Buffy complained. "Okay, vampire
gerbils."

"Like mice with big teeth," Anya added.

"Yes, like mice with big teeth." She smiled at her girlfriend. "So, we
need to find them and stake them before they kill any kiddies or famous
actors, right? Right. Suit up, everybody."

"Umm, just how are we going to get into people's homes to find the gerbils,
Miss Summers?" Wesley asked. Chance inched backwards until his back was
flush with the demon hunter's front. Wesley put his hand on the young
man's shoulder to steady him.

Willow nodded her head in agreement. "Somehow I just don't think knocking
on doors and saying, hey, can I come in and kill your kid's gerbil, is
going to work. Just, you know, a thought."

"Door to door Veterinarian visits?" Chance asked.

Part Four  

"Door to door Veterinarian visits?" Chance asked.

"Now you're thinking outside the box!" Wesley cuffed him on the shoulder
affectionately. Chance beamed up at him, his eyes shining with worship.
Unforunately, or possibly fortunately, Wesley wasn't looking. He'd already
turned back to the conversation.

"We could go to each house and tell them we're from the ASPCA," Cordelia
said, sitting at the table with the Scoobies. "We'll tell them there's an
outbreak of..."

"Gerbil measels," Tara supplied.

"Perfect, gerbil measels and we need to check to see if they have any
gerbils and if they do, are the gerbils infected."

Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them. Every few seconds he
looked up at Wesley and Chance and frowned. "That's frighteningly
workable, Cordelia."

"Let's do it then." Buffy jumped up, always ready for some action. "It's
not dark yet, so Spike and Angel will stay here and research whatever the
gerbils might be up to. Giles, you should help them. Gunn, Wesley,
Chance, Cordelia and Xander, you head west. Anya, Willow, Tara and I will
go east. Let's do this thing."

With various mumbles of 'right' and 'sure thing', they all scrambled to do
the Slayer's bidding. Chance was the first one out the door and either he
couldn't hear Giles when the man called after him, or he ignored him.

"Drat that boy!" Giles went for the scotch behind the counter. "I told
him specifically to stay away from any apocalypses!"

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be safe and sound with Wesley," Angel assured the
watcher. "They seem to be sticking pretty close."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Giles took a big swallow. "If Wesley has or
does in anyway endanger my nephew *or* his innocence, I'll turn him into a
toad."

Angel smiled, picturing a bumpy, little toad hopping around, with glasses
on.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Watcher," Spike said.
"That boy doesn't act like any kind of innocent I know. He looks well and
truly buggered to me. Not too hard to seduce, I'll bet."

"Don't say things like that, Spike."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll rip out your heart and watch you turn to ashes." Giles smiled and
it wasn't a nice smile. In fact it was a very Ripper-like smile. Spike
wisely swallowed his next comment, or any future comments for that matter.


Meanwhile, elsewhere in Sunnydale, Wesley and Chance chatted as they
walked, catching up on old times.

"You haven't written to me in ages, you prick!" Chance accused.

"Yes, well, I apologize. The demon hunting business has been booming."
Wesley pointed to Cordelia, Xander and Gunn who were walking ahead of them.
Queen C was reaffirming her self-worth by waxing nostalgic over her
Sunnydale past. She even had Xander half guilted back into their former
relationship. "You see, Miss Chase is very hard to resist."

"Yes, I can tell."

"Perhaps you should speak to her."

Chance shot his former mentor and all-time biggest crush an odd look.
"Umm, perhaps."

"Okay, kiddies." Cordelia turned around so she could face everyone. "I'm
going up to the first house. Who's going with me."

Gunn and Xander both took a step back while Wesley simultaneously shoved
Chance forward. Chance squawked.

"You're an extrovert, Chance - "

"Am not!"

" - go with the nice lady." Wesley and his cohorts both stood back and
smiled benignly.

"I will get you for this," Chance hissed.

"Someday you'll thank me, I'm sure."

Squaring his shoulders, Chance marched up to the door, followed closely by
Cordelia.

"Oh, man, you have got to get her off me!" Xander hissed, turning on Gunn
as soon as Cordy was out of earshot. "I am so not ready to get back into
it with her."

"Relax," Wesley told him. "I'm going to set Chance up with her."

Gunn frowned. "Chance is too young."

"And beside that isn't he a little..." Xander waggled his hand back and
forth.

"He is not," Wesley snapped. "And Chance is quite mature for his age. If
we just throw them together as often as possible, something is certain to
come of it. Now, quiet, here they come."

"No gerbils," Chance told them, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "You
know, you gentlemen could have been going onto the next house while we did
this one."

"We wouldn't want to spoil your fun," Wesley told him.

"I suggest you spoil it and spoil it quickly." Cordelia tapped her foot
impatiently. "Now!" The three men in front of her scrambled to do her
bidding.

"That's very impressive," Chance told her. Quietly they walked to the next
house together. He kept on glancing at Wesley over his shoulder, his gaze
longing and a little hurt, but his fellow countryman didn't seem to notice.


"Oh, you poor thing," Cordelia whispered.

"What?"

"You've got a crush on Wesley."

Chance straightened up, bristling a bit. "I don't see why it's something
to pity me over. Wesley is handsome and brave and - "

"I know, I know. I had a crush on him once too."

"Really?"

She smiled. "He's just not looking back. That's why I said what I said.
It's so obvious that Wesley thinks of you as some kind of little brother or
something."

Chance's shoulders slumped. "I thought maybe now that I'm older he'd…
But… You know?" He stubbed his toe into the ground and stared at it, not
wanting to look up into her eyes.

"It's a big age difference."

"Only ten years. I've seen worse."

She shook her head sadly. "It's worse when you're younger. Wesley is too
proper to let anything happen. You know that."

"And anyway, Uncle Rupert would probably kill him." Chance smiled. "So,
next house then?"

They walked up to the door and he rang the bell. A woman in a pink and
yellow flowered house dress answered the door.

"Yes?" she asked warily, obviously assuming they were selling something or
handing out Watchtower leaflets.

"We're here from the NSDZA," Chance started.

"What?" Obviously confused, the woman started to pull the door shut.

"He said the ASPCA," Cordelia cut in smoothly, stopping the door with her
hand. She turned her hundred watt smile on the woman just in case. "We're
volunteers going out in the community and make you aware of a dangerous new
strain of gerbil measels. Do you own any gerbils, ma'am?"

"My daughter has two."

"May we see them?" Chance asked, smiling as best he could. "We'd like to
determine if they already have the virus."

The woman frowned. "Could I see your identification?"

"Id-denti-fi-cation," Cordelia repeated slowly.

Chance cheerfully pulled out his rather bland looking watcher's card. "As
we said, we're volunteers. That's the organization we're working through
to work with the ... them. You can call the number at the bottom if you'd
like. We'll wait."

"No, that's all right." The woman returned his identification with a bit
of a puzzled look. "Umm, if you'll come back this way..." She led both of
them into her house, wending her way between toys and carpet stains.
Cordelia picked her way carefully, her expression screaming 'ewwwwww.'

"How long have you had these gerbils?" Chance asked.

"We just got them this weekend," the woman admitted.

"Have they displayed any odd behavior?"

"You know, come to think of it, one of them jumped on my little girl's neck
last night and tried to bite her. Is that odd?"

Ah, the Sunnydale factor. Uncle Rupert had written extensive papers one
how the people of this town refused to see even the blatantly obvious.
"Yes, I think that could be construed as odd. In fact, it's a major
symptom of gerbil measels. I hesitate to say this, but if they do have it,
ma'am, they might have to be put down."

The woman whirled around on him, thrusting a fat finger into his chest.
"You are not touching one little furry hair on my daughter's gerbils!"

"But they might be a danger to the community!"

"They're our gerbils!"

Cordelia stepped in smoothly and turned that mega-watt smile of hers on the
woman. "I'm sure the gerbils are fine. If they're not, we'll just ask
that you keep them away from other gerbils, you know, so as not to infect
others. I'm sure you understand."

"Well, of course."

"And we'll be glad to give you the name of a wonderful veterinarian if you
don't already have one." She primped and posed like a supermodel and the
woman bought it like her next can of diet coke.

Gesturing to the room at the end of the hall, she said, "In the fish tank."

"Terrarium," Chance mumbled, but hurried past her. "They're only fish
tanks if they have fish in them. Does everyone in this country have an IQ
of 10 or is it just me?"

"I'm insulted."

"Sorry. I didn't mean that."

It was a little girls room with dolls sitting on the pink bedspread. More
pink and lace curtains hung over the windows, but not enough to shut the
sun out. White walls helped reflect the rays everyway, making it sunny and
cheerful. To one side was a chest of drawers and on the other was a table
with a tank on it and paraphanaelia on it suggesting it had in fact once
been a fish tank, although it now held small, furry, vampire gerbils. They
crept up on the tank. Inside was a wheel, water bottle, wood shavings and
a bowl of untouched food.

"I don't see them," Cordelia whispered.

Part Five  

"I don't see them," Cordelia whispered.

Chance hesitantly reached out one finger and poked a mound of wood
shavings. It burst to life, leaping through the air, heading straight for
the nummy morsel that was Chance's finger, but just as quickly, it burned
up in flames in the sunlight. "I suppose it has the measles," Chance
commented rather drolly.

"Well, yeah."

They both eyed the other shivering lump.

"It's your turn," Chance told Cordelia rather calmly.

"But you do it so well."

He turned and stared at her, but Queen C quite adroitly stared him down.
"Fine. One. Two. Five. Three!" And he poked the other lump. It
screeched and nipped him, latching on tight. Chance yelped and whipped his
arm back, dragging the thing out into the sunlight. It too disintegrated
into ashes, but left it's teeth as a souvenir in his forefinger. "Get them
out! Get them out!"

"What? What? What is it?" Cordelia grabbed his hand and held it steady.


"Something is in my finger. I'm going to die. This is all your fault.
I'm going to haunt you. I hope you know that."

"I already have a ghost, but thanks anyway." She smirked. "Look it's just
the thing's teeth and they aren't even in very deep. You're crying over
nothing."

"Nothing? I have a foreign object in my body that I myself didn't put
there and you call this nothing?"

She stopped and stared at him for a moment. "I'm not sure I can comment on
that."

"Get! It! Out!" he growled in his best Ripper imitation. He watched
helplessly as small drops of blood welled up and dripped on the floor.
"I'm going to turn into a vampire, aren't I? No, worse, I'm going to turn
into a gerbil."

Cordelia dismissed him with a flip of her hair. "C'mon outside. Wesley
will know what to do. He always knows what to do."

"But he'll want to do research! That could take hours," Chance whined.

"Get moving right now, or you'll wish it was just your finger that hurt,"
Cordelia threatened heartlessly. Chance wisely followed her instructions.
As they were walked out of the house, the woman waddled up to them as fast
as she could.

"I heard screaming. Are the gerbils okay?"

"I got bit," Chance complained.

"He's fine. They're fine," Cordelia assured her. "Just hunky dory. You
have nothing to worry about. I should really get my friend outside and
find him some first aid."

"I have band aids."

Cordy looked pointedly down at the grape Kool-aid stain she was standing in
then back up at the woman, pasting a false grin on her face. "That's quite
all right. We'll let the ASPCA know that your gerbils are fine. Have a
nice day." And then she pushed Chance out the door ahead of her.

The three musketeers were waiting for them at the end of the walk,
procrastinating before they went onto the next street.

"None of the rest of the houses on this side have gerbils," Wesley started,
but broke off as soon as he saw the way Chance was holding his hand. "What
have you done to yourselves?"

"I got bit," Chance whined, hoping that at least somebody would care. Oh,
yeah, somebody big and hunky and... Mmm, he could go for this. "Bit in
the thick of battle. Can you believe it? And there are still teeth in my
finger."

"Let me see!" Xander pushed close, grasping the hand in question for a
closer look. "Wow, look at that."

"They stuck there when the thing burst into dust in the sunlight. This
isn't going to turn me into a vampire is it? ...or a gerbil?" Chance
shuddered.

"Well, we don't have a lot of information on things like these," Wesley
replied gravely.

"You had better be teasing me."

"Well, we don't." Wesley smirked. "If I had to guess, however, I'd say
no. You're going to be perfectly fine. We'll need some tweezers to get
those out of there though."

Suddenly, Chance's finger jerked out of Xander's hand. "What?" Xander
asked.

"I don't know. I didn't do it." The finger tugged him toward a house
across the street and Chance had to jog to keep up with it. "I think it's
leading me somewhere!" A little bemused, the others followed. It led him
all the way up the concrete path to a little yellow house with green trim.
Cordelia shuddered when she saw the décor.

"Unpopular people live here," she stage whispered. "We should leave."

"Cordelia, the finger has obviously led us to a clue," Wesley disagreed.
"We are obliged to investigate." So saying, he rang the doorbell.

A red haired werewolf answered the door. Xander, Wesley, and Cordelia all
knew it was a werewolf, because they knew the werewolf in question. In
fact, his name was:

"Oz? What are you doing in town?" Xander appeared to be working himself
up into a self-righteous fury on Willow's behalf.

"Devon lives here." He peered out at them, his eyes red-rimmed and a bit
fuzzy. His t-shirt boasted several pizza stains and smelled suspiciously
like controlled substances and his boxers has Superman logos all over them.
He wasn't wearing any shoes and he looked like he hadn't washed in a few
days. One eyebrow arched in a very eloquent question Oz deemed it unworthy
to voice.

"We're looking for vampire gerbils," Xander told him.

"Ah."

"Got any?"

He thought for a minute, scratched his side, squinted at Xander and then
tossed his head a little. "Maybe, yeah."

"My thumb led us right to them," Chance murmured, staring at the appendage
in question.

Oz stood back to let them all in. Cordelia sniffed distastefully at the
bachelor décor, but said nothing. Oz deigned not to mention it. "Our
drummer bought his girlfriend one. It's been acting ... weird."

"In what way?" Wesley asked.

"It tried to bite him and suck out all his blood."

"That sounds like a vampire, yes," the former watcher admitted with a
knowledgeable shake of his head.

Chance snorted at the show of understated superiority. "You learned that
in Tweed 101."

Wesley smirked back at him. "We've already established who passed that
class and who didn't."

"Can we see the gerbil already?" Cordelia asked, obviously irritated.

"It's inside."

"Lead the way, my good man," Xander enthused. "On with the slaying and all
that." The others followed, trying not to get to close as the place
smelled like the bachelor pad it was. Xander had obviously deadened his
senses on his own apartment.

Chance's finger pulled him violently forward. "Up the stairs, I take it?"
Oz raised one curious brow, but gave him a slow nod. "I think my finger
has become a natural homing device." Following the tugging of his thumb,
he led them to the middle bedroom on the second floor. Inside was neat as
a pin. The smell of incense lingered in the air. The sheets hugged the
bed so tightly you could bounce a quarter off them. Not a speck of dust
could be seen and every book, every knick-knack, every poster was in its
place, just so.

"Paul's weird," Oz offered quietly.

Chance ignored him, instead stepping up to the terrarium on the shelf near
the window. The bottom was lined with shredded newspaper and one
particular, shivering lump stuck up higher than all the others. It was
most definitely a vampire.

"All right, gentlemen, who's going to be my night in shining armor?" Chance
asked, stepping back from the tank. "Wes?"

"Excuse me? What do you expect me to do?"

"Stake it." He looked around at the three men. "Somebody is going to
stake this thing and it's not going to be me. I'm already a casualty.
See?" Chance held up his finger just to remind them all how dire this
situation really was. "Now, who's going to do it?"

"All we havta do is pull back the curtain and move the paper. The sunlight
'll kill it," Gunn said. "Wes, go ahead."

"Again I ask, why me?"

Xander snorted, rolling up his sleeves and rubbing his hands together.
"All right then. I've clocked field time. When you need something slayed,
you ask the slayer," he stepped forward and pulled back the curtain,
handing it to Oz, "but when she's not available, you get the XandMan."
Ripping off the newspaper he jumped back as the thing burst into flames,
screeching, and then fell in a heap of ashes to the bottom of the cage.
"Yes, sir, the XandMan is always good in a pinch."

Chance laughed, fluttering his eyelashes. "My hero."

Wesley frowned.

"So what now?" Gunn asked.

"Need to get back to the shop," Xander decided. "Put that finger to good
use. If we can find one of these guys we'll be able to find their nest
tonight and stop them for good. Coming Oz?"

The werewolf almost smiled. "Sure."

Back at the Magic Box, Giles and Angel were busy looking through dusty
tomes for any mention of their furry foe. Spike was cleaning his nails
with a rather wicked looking knife.

"Zombie hamsters?"

"No, no, we are definitely looking for vampire gerbils."

"Because they had an outbreak of zombie hamsters in Phoenix, in 1959."

"It would be in Phoenix, wouldn't it?" Giles leaned over so he could get a
look at the book Angel was reading.

"I was just thinking the same thing about 1959."

"Odd year?"

"You could say that."

"I probably don't want to know."

Angel smirked and went back to his book.

"What's so bad about Phoenix?" Spike asked. The other two ignored him.
"Bloody pricks." He blew on his nails and then buffed them to a shine on
his duster. "Everyone knows vampire gerbils only make their nests in dark,
damp, places with easily accessible drain pipes and a good supply of rose
quartz."

Giles and Angel both jerked their heads up. "What did you say?" the
watcher asked.

"Sod off."

Angel shut his book with a dull thump. "And you couldn't have mentioned
all this earlier?"

Part Six  

Angel shut his book with a dull thump. "And you couldn't have mentioned
all this earlier?"

"Wouldn't have had all the fun of watching you ruffle through them books if
I had, now would I?" Spike smirked. "Ponce."

Angel stood very slowly. "Excuse me, Rupert. I'll be just a moment. I'm
going to go murder my childe and then we can get back to the business at
hand." Slowly, menacingly, he advanced on Spike. A stake shot out of his
sleeve and into his hand. Not a fool, the blond vampire leapt out of his
chair and scrambled away, looking for some kind of protection. Angel
advanced diligently, like a Terminator.

Not having a hydraulic press handy, Spike settled for his sturdy wooden
chair. "Oi, stay away from me, you wanker!"

Angel threw the chair out of his way and backed Spike up into the shelves.
"This will only hurt for a second."

Just then the front door flew open.

"Uncle Rupert! Uncle Rupert! Wesley let me get hurt!" Chance came
hurtling inside, distracting Angel for that precious minute that it took
for Spike to slip away.

"Chance?" Ignoring the vampires, one obviously disappointed, the other
safely behind the counter sticking
his tongue out, Giles met Chance halfway across the room. The other
members of the adventuresome party streamed in behind his nephew.

"See," Chance complained, showing off his wounded hand, "Wesley let me go
in a house all by myself and I got bit."

"Wesley?" a very pissed off Giles growled.

The former watcher squeaked.

"But Xander played all hero-like and saved us from the second wave of
gerbils," the ever-helpful Chance informed his uncle.

"Did he now?" Giles didn't sound any happier with Xander than he did with
Wesley. Logically, he knew that Chance was given to exaggeration when it
made for a good story or got him a second helping of ice cream, but he
couldn't help being protective of his nephew.

"He was completely my Lancelot."

"Lance-ma-who-se-ma-what-sit?" Xander asked fearfully, staring into Giles
suddenly cold, cold eyes. "Not brave, not brave at all. I was very ...
very ... help me out here." He snapped his fingers behind him, searching
desperately for answers from anywhere.

"Xander - like." Cordelia offered.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"Yes, Xander-like. I screamed like a girl and ran away."

Just then, Buffy with girlfriend, sister and the witches in tow, tumbled
through the door. "Hey, Giles, ten gerbils totally slain," she announced
proudly. Anya smiled adoringly up at her girlfriend. All of their faces
were smudged and they wore proud grins.

"Can we go in the back so I can give her her oral sexual gratification as a
reward now?" Anya asked.

Giles sighed. "I'm going to ignore that."

"But," Chance waved his finger back under his uncle's nose, getting his
attention again, "this dire wound that Wesley allowed me to incur, which
will probably make me shrivel up and die, it seems to be a sort of divining
rod, leading us to other vampire gerbils." Giles grabbed the first aid kit
and began bandaging Chance's hand. He soon had a very satisfying amount of
gauze piled on the injury.

"We can use it to lead us to the gerbils' nest," Angel enthused. "We'll be
able to destroy them all!"

"We are not putting Chance in danger," Giles objected.

"Aww, but it's just a little danger," Chance whined.

"This was just a little danger and look at you, you got bitten. And you
and I will have words about this, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce."

"I'll do better," Chance protested. "Please, Uncle Rupert, if I don't pass
this, I'll fail my field test and if I do that, I'll never be a watcher,
and you want me to be a watcher, don't you?"

Giles frowned.

"We still have to research what the gerbils want." Buffy actually walked
over and cracked open a book. She quickly shut it again, before she
actually learned something, but she had made her point. "It's back to
studying, people ... and, er, vampires. Let's find out what they want and
then let's go exterminate them."

With many groans, the extended Scooby gang slid into their chairs at the
table. Willow volunteered Chance to make a coffee/donut run, as it was his
duty as an intern to do so, and Xander volunteered to go with him to help
carry, what with the injured hand and all. As they were leaving, Chance
slipped a note under Wesley's book.

"Should I be worried?" Xander asked.

"About what?"

"Whatever you're up to. You've got a shit-eating grin on your face."

Chance shot him his best innocent look. "Who me?"

"Don't even. I know better than that."

Rubbing his fingertips over the bricks of the building they were walking
next to, Chance sighed, drooping a little. "I have rather a crush, you
see."

"On Cordelia?"

The blond's mouth dropped open. "Cordelia? Heaven's no. I'm well, you
know, I like … it's on Wesley." He stuck his hands in his pockets and
tried to look as casual and manly as possible. It didn't work. He looked
like more of a kid than ever, with his over-wrapped thumb sticking out for
comical effect.

"Wesley? Wesley. Oh, yeah, I knew it. I knew you were gay. I said to
Wesley, I said, Chance, isn't he gay?" Xander resumed walking, strutting
almost, very proud of himself.

"What did Wesley say?" Chance asked, slightly breathless.

"No, no, he says, Chance isn't gay. We should set him up with Cordelia.
Cordelia! What was that man thinking? I ask you."

"He couldn't even imagine himself with me," Chance whispered numbly.

Xander stopped and looked at Chance. "Um, well, he just hasn't had a
chance to yet. I'm sure that given time he wouldn't be able to think of
anything else. You know? I'm sure of it. Have I stuck my foot in my
mouth enough already?"

"Yes."

"Let's go get some coffee."

Chance nodded and followed the other man down the street, content to not
talk for a while.

*

Spike lifted up his book and noticed a piece of paper lying beneath it.
Curious, he unfolded it and read it.

- Meet me in the alley next to the shop. -

Could this be? He glanced surreptitiously around the table, but no one
glanced back. Could this really be from his nummy? From his sable-haired
tower of ample muscle? From his chocolate-eyed, eclectic beauty? He
sighed to himself, sinking a little in his chair, remembered where he was,
sat back up, pasted a sneer back on his face for effect and looked around
to make sure no one had seen him. They were all working. Sort of. Or
playing footsy under the tables. Good. He read the note over to himself
and mushed again inside.

Carefully, this had to be done carefully, so no one would suspect.

Spike stood up quickly and pulled out a cigarette. "Well, I'm going out
for a smoke. Just a ... smoke." Then he hurried from the shop.

The girls giggled.

"Do you think he's going to follow Xander and Chance?" Dawn asked.

"Why on earth would he do that?" Giles asked.

"Spike has a crush on Xander," Anya informed him.

"Almost as big as the one Xander has on him back," Buffy added. The girls
erupted in more giggles. "Quote, Spike is strong and mysterious and sort
of compact, but well-muscled, he says to me that time you all thought I was
.. " She swallowed hard and took Anya's hand. "And all along I wanted
you." The two girls kissed.

"Yes, well ... " Giles took this opportunity to look very flustered.

Angel tilted his head back and forth, obviously trying to figure something
out. "But the note was from Chance."

"Chance?" Practically everyone else cried at once.

"Well, yeah, I saw Chance scribble it out and stick it under there."

"If that vampire lays one finger on my nephew, his next home is going to be
a Dirt Devil!" Giles growled.

"But Chance has a crush on - " Cordelia slapped her hands over her own
mouth to shut herself up.

"Right, Chance has a crush on Cordelia," Wesley finished for her.

"Totally," Gunn confirmed.

"Honestly, do you have a brain?" The would-be-actress arched a very
dangerous eyebrow and struck her best 'you are so dead' pose. Wesley and
Gunn both backed up into the wall.

"Chance came out to the entire family when he was fifteen and it wasn't
even a surprise then." Giles waved his hand dismissively. "Honestly,
Wesley, if you're such the family friend, I think you would know that."

"You mean ... ?"

"Chance is gay."

Wesley fainted.

*

Outside in the alley, Spike paced, an unlit cigarette twirling between his
fingers. His nummy probably didn't want to smell smoke on his breath,
taste it on his lips ... He put his hand against the wall in an effort to
hold himself up. Oh, his nummy, his fiery, passionate, stallion of
manhood, oh how do I love thee, let me count the ways. His eyes glazed
slightly and he licked his lips.

*

As they neared the alley, coffee cups and donuts piled precariously in
their arms, Chance realized he had almost forgotten his clandestine
rendezvous. Xander had just turned out to be such a nice guy, full of tons
of well-meaning advice and a generous supply of ideas on how to get
Wesley's attention. They walked slowly until they got to the mouth of the
alley.

"Uh, Xan?"

A crash drew their attention to the dark shadows. Xander pushed his share
of the loot into Chance's arms and pulled out a stake. "I should see what
it is."

Part Seven  

"But Xan ... " Chance tried to follow, but everything kept on wanting to
topple out of his arms.

Xander stalked bravely into the depths of the alley. "Okay, you evil, a
Scooby is here now, so show yourself or bug out!" Suddenly he was grabbed
and thrown up against the wall. It didn't hurt, but it annoyed him. He
fully intended to make vampire plastering itself to his front into a big
pile o' dust when it -

"Oh, my sweet nummy."

"Spike?"

"Who else did you think it would be?" the blond teased, swooping in for
another kiss. This time Xander responded eagerly, opening his mouth so
their tongues could wrap around one another.

"I don't know, I don't meet many kamikaze-kissing vampires in alleys,"
Xander teased when Spike finally pulled back to give him air.

"Wesley?" a thin voice called out. Chance finally set down his burden and
stumbled close enough to see the two of them. "You're not Wesley."

The two men looked at each other, Xander clearly amused and Spike puzzled.

"No, we're not." Xander started to pull away, but then thought better of
it and stayed right where he was. There would be plenty of times later
when he couldn't hold Spike. He didn't intend to let go now. The vampire
purred softly in his ear. "No, but we should have been, right?"

"Uh, yeah," Chance admitted weakly, examining his toes.

"Wait," Spike pulled out the note, "this wasn't from you?"

"No, it was from Chance, and it was for Wesley."

"Then how'd we get it?"

"Fate, most likely."

"I like that, fate."

"Quit the sappiness." Chance turned back to the street and picked up the
food. "I'll cover for you guys for a bit, but you really should appear
after dark, you know, to help with the gerbils."

"Best to go back inside anyway," Spike admitted, glancing around the
shadowy alleyway. "Never know when a stray bit of sunlight might - poof -
not good." The three of them parceled back out the bundles of food and
walked inside.

*

Wesley awoke on a table full of books. "Oh, my head, what happened?"

"You fainted. That's what happened." Cordelia did not look happy. Wesley
suddenly knew where the term 'madder than a wet hen' came from. "Why did
you faint?"

"Yes, I really must insist Wesley," Giles agreed, much too calmly. "Tell
us why you fainted and what it has to do with my nephew."

"Do you know how long his name would be if he became a Wyndam-Pryce?
Chance Romi Clamidom Giles-Wyndam-Pryce? Can you even imagine?"

"Is there are particular reason why my nephew would take your name?" Giles
took off his glasses and started cleaning them.

"Marry into the family, she says. Really think about it, she says. I
thought she meant her sister, I really did." Wesley grabbed hold of Giles'
lapel. "My god, man, I had no idea! You must believe me!"

"What the bloody hell are you babbling about?"

"I have no intention of marrying Chance. Ever. You must believe that."

Behind them something crashed. Everyone turned to see Xander, Spike and
Chance standing in the doorway. All of the coffees had dropped from
Chance's hands and were spilled all over the floor. Without a word, Chance
turned and ran.

"Chance! Stop him, Xander!"

Xander tried to fumble past the donuts and catch Chance's arm, but the
blond was already gone. "Dammit. Sorry, Giles. We'll track him down."
He glared at Wesley. "Stupidity not withstanding." The vampire behind him
sidled up a little closer to his nummy treat and added his own glare for
good measure.

"What? I couldn't have known," Wesley protested weakly.

"I'm thinking the words blind and bat," Buffy announced to the room in
general. "Anyone else?" She paced a little. "Okay, our link is gone and
now we have to find the enemy some other way. Willow?" The witch shook
her head. "Angel?" The vampire shrugged apologetically. "Come on,
people. My bet is that Chance will follow that finger, even if he doesn't
realize he's doing it. We have to find them and him before something
happens."

"Oh, soddin' hell!" Spike stepped around Xander, and the donut mess, and
picked up one of the books on the table. "You all read it at least six
times, I saw you, unless you were just flipping pages and playing footsy
under the table." The majority of the people in the room blushed and
looked somewhere else. Spike ignored them and flipped to the pertinent
passage. "And lo, in the time of the simpleton who would be king and the
reign of the virgin whore, there will come a plague upon the world.
Beneath the glow of the golden arch, the undead will scuttle as vermin,
intent upon sucking the blood of the innocent as well as the guilty.
Beware ye their wrath. They are many and mighty an enemy, and among them
their queen who will open the breach to look upon great evil. The evil
will swallow the world." He looked up into blank faces. "Come on, people,
they're going to open the Hellmouth."

"You could have just said that," Angel growled.

"Yeah, well, I thought some of you had a brain. Your hair shorting you out
again, peaches?" He stuck his tongue out at his sire. Angel made a grab
for him, but Spike hid behind Xander. Angel looked like he was going to go
around, but one look at the Xander's scowl nixed that idea.

"Right then," Buffy announced, pulling out the box of weapons, "to the
school it is. Everybody load up. We'd better save Chance before he gets
fed to 'great evil' by the gerbils. We'll leave as soon as the sun sets."

"I love it when you're forceful," Anya enthused. Buffy blushed.

*

Chance wandered aimlessly, kicking at the garbage in the gutter. Could
things get any worse? He'd come all the way to the States only to find out
that Wesley didn't want him and his uncle thought he was still a kid. He
was nineteen already. When were they going to get a clue and realize he'd
grown up?

Unconsciously he followed the tuggings of his finger toward the burned out
monstrosity at the center of town. He didn't even realize where he was
until he stubbed his toe against the front step and looked up. The school.
Uncle Rupert had written enough about it. Chance could have picked it out
of ten buildings.

He pulled his hand out of his pocket to see if he was getting a tugging in
any particular direction and almost got yanked off his feet, the pull
inside was so strong. Grabbing two sticks from the pile of debris beside
the door, he stuck one inside his back pocket and kept the other one handy.
Thusly armed, he snuck inside to investigate.

*

As soon as the sun was down, Spike raced out the door, Giles hot on his
heels. He'd grown fond of Stuffy Jr., what with getting he and Xander
together and all, and he was determined to see that the young man was safe.


"Guys!" Buffy called, following at a more sedate pace. "Is the Hellmouth
opening? I ask you," she bitched, turning to her girlfriend. "Are we
having an earthquake? N -" The ground shook. Buffy and the others raced
to catch up.

*

It was the biggest gerbil Chance had ever seen. She had to be the size of
a Yugo. "The queen," he whispered to himself, or he assumed she was
because she was wearing one of those little plastic crowns. Dead
give-away, that. "Where's a holy hand grenade when you need one?"

*

Outside the school Angel finally caught up with Spike and held him there
until the others arrived. "Hold up, Spike. We need a plan."

"We go inside, we dust their furry asses and we get the tasty morsel back.
What's to plan, ponce?"

"You have absolutely no patience. I think it was my one true failing as a
parent, I was never able to teach you that." Angel hung his head, brooding
gracefully. "Well, one of my failings. How can I ever say that I'm - "

"Even breathe an apology and I'll rip your throat out."

Buffy caught up with them. "Well that's a pleasant thought," she panted,
holding her knees in order to better get her wind back. "I'm not sure if
that's a good thing or a bad thing." She glared at Angel. "Don't answer
that. Okay, Spike, you wait out here for the others."

"But I wanna go in and look for the morsel," he whined.

"Tough cookies. Angel, you're with me. Hopefully we can have this wrapped
up before Giles even gets here. If not, Spike, please try to keep him from
doing anything stupid."

"Right. Check. Watcher does something stupid, bludgeon him to death."

Buffy raised a threatening fist.

"Kidding, Slayer, kidding. Now, get in there and save the brat."

Grumbling about the direct proportional relationship between application of
peroxide to the scalp and lack of brains...in male vampires, Buffy strutted
into her old school. Angel shot Spike a 'you stay here and be a good boy'
glare and then obediently followed the Slayer.

Pacing back and forth in front of the doorway, Spike was able to smoke two
cigarettes before the others got there. "What took you so long?"

"Love you too, Spike." Xander smiled.

"You love me?"

"Oh, bloody hell," Giles cursed. "Can we get inside already?"

"Wait, this is important. Well, whelp, do you?"

"I'm going inside. If the two of you can concentrate on the matter at hand
for just a moment, MY NEPHEW IS IN THERE!!!" Giles grabbed a wooden stake
from the debris conveniently by the door and looked like he would use it on
the two young lovers if they didn't get moving, and right now!

"We're going, we're going," Xander complained. He kissed Spike and then
picked up a stake of his own. "Everybody stay together." With that, he
led the way inside. Spike followed him, grumbling about interfering,
overprotective jerks. Giles came next and then the witches. Gunn brought
up the rear. They had left Cordelia at the shop, trying to revive and
comfort a very confused Wesley.

*

"I can totally understand it." Angel kicked what looked like it had once
been part of the ceiling out of his way.

"But, Wesley, ewwww." Buffy, just ahead of him, took the more nimble tack
of hopping over things.

"He's smart and he's got a nice British accent and - "

"Chance is British."

"So?"

"I don't think British accents matter all that much to him."

Angel shrugged, conceding the point. "All right, but glasses. He's got
the whole 'look at me, I'm smart,' thing going on."

"Are we talking about Chance liking Wesley or you?"

Part Eight  

"Are we talking about Chance liking Wesley, or you?"

"I'm just saying is all." Angel glanced sidelong at Buffy, trying to gauge
her mood. She seemed pretty 'I'm hunting something evil and happy about
it.' "So, you and Anya … "

"What about me and Anya?"

"I just wouldn't have thought, you know?"

She whipped around on him and stuck a finger in his chest. "She loves me
and I love her. She's my little Hell beast and I - couldn't - live -
without - her." She poked him in the chest on each word to emphasize her
point.

"Okay."

"I make it a point to tell her. I do. I want her to know how much I love
her and need her before she turns evil and runs away to the army and - "

Before Buffy could finish her rant, all Hellmouth broke loose. Vampire
gerbils were everywhere, their beady little eyes glowing red in the
darkness.

"Oh shit." She turned around and around, taking in the situation. "There
are too many!"

"Run!" Angel yelled.

Sprinting down the hall, Angel and Buffy dodged debris. The gerbils chased
them into the old library.

As soon as Buffy saw the queen, she slid to a stop. Angel ran into her
full tilt, knocking her over. Very slowly, they both raised their heads.
The giant gerbil loomed over them and she looked hungry.

*

"Shit!" Chance cursed as he watched Buffy and Angel fall right into the
gerbils' trap. Ripping at the bandages on his hand, he unraveled his wound
so he could hold a stake in both hands. That big, fat, mean, old queen
looked like she was going to pounce any second. Buffy and Angel were
totally vulnerable the way they were laying, flat on the ground.

Taking a stake in each hand, Chance leapt from his hiding spot with a
banshee cry, straight onto the bitch's back. Before he could stake her,
she reared up on him and threw him off. Chance flew through the air.

"No!" Buffy gasped.

Too late, Chance fell through the crack in the floor and scrabbled against
the rock walls for purchase, hanging on for dear life. "Help! Somebody
help me!"

Buffy's voice - "Chance! Oh, take that, you bitch!" He could hear sounds
of fighting. "Ewww, ewww, Angel, get it off me!"

Angel - "Hold still."

Buffy - "I said get it off me, not run me through!"

Gerbil squeaking.

Running footsteps.

Spike - "Bloody hell! Is that a Yugo?"

Xander - "Only if Yugos have fur." (Pause.) "And teeth. Ow, hey, watch
the teeth!"

Gerbil squeaking.

Uncle Rupert - "Where is Chance?"

Angel - "Fell down the hole."

Uncle Rupert - "He what?"

Angel - "Staking me is not going to help him!"

Uncle Rupert - "Spike, rescue Chance. I'm going to stake Angel."

Angel - "Giles!"

Gerbil squeaking.

Spike - "No can do, mate. Still got a fucking huge gerbil in the way.
Hey, watch where you point that thing!"

Uncle Rupert - "Someone rescue my nephew right now!"

Buffy - "Take that bitch!"

Gerbil squeaking.

Xander - "Isn't she supposed to get staked by the wood, not eat it, Buff?"

Buffy - "Just keep the little fuckers off me. I'm going in again."

Willow - "Fuckers. Now she's mad. Ow, hey, get off me, you fucker!"

Buffy - "Hah!"

Gerbil screeching.

Buffy - "One queen gerbil totally slain."

"Great. Now can somebody get me out of here!" Chance called over the
ledge.

Within a few seconds, a pair of male hands wearing a rather nice wristwatch
appeared over the side and helped to pull him up. It was Giles. Chance
wrapped his arms tight around his Uncle's neck. "I won't ever run off
again! I swear it! I swear it! I swear it!"

"You best not, young man," Giles whispered, hugging Chance as hard as he
could.

As they walked back through the burned out school, Willow and Tara exploded
any gerbils that crossed their path with a simple incendiary spell. Xander
and Spike walked arm and arm, nuzzling one another periodically. Angel
followed them, a rather pleased smile on his face.

"We've been waiting for those two to wake up and smell the napalm, you
know?" Buffy commented to Angel, her arm firmly around her girlfriend's
shoulders.

"Yes, they should make excellent orgasm friends."

"I'm glad Will is happy. He deserves someone not insane, you know?"

"I can hear you talking," Spike growled at them.

Xander slipped his hand into his boyfriend's back pocket and smiled
innocently. "Ignore them. We've got better things to think about."

A little farther back, Chance walked quietly with Giles. Suddenly, Giles
started laughing. It started as a slow shake and then a giggle and then he
was laughing so hard he had to clean his glasses.

"What?" Chance asked.

"The look on Wesley's face. How could you ever think that he is good
enough for you?"

"He's Wesley." Chance looked away, trying to gather his thoughts. "I've
always been in love with Wesley. I mean, he's strong and he's handsome and
smart and ... And Mom encouraged me."

"I see."

Chance giggled. "I can't believe he fainted."

"The Wyndam-Pryces' are given to dramatics. You know that."

"I used to think that made him romantic."

"I think it just makes him silly." Slinging an arm around his nephew's
shoulders, he pulled the young man close again. "You need someone more
your own age."

"Oh, well, gee, I was kind of taking a shine to Angel."

"Chance."

"Kidding, kidding. I've been in love with Wesley for so long, it's very
strange to imagine not ending up with him."

Giles smiled. "You'll go back to England. Distance will give you
perspective."

"I suppose I'll be busy."

"Finishing classes."

Chance shot him a sidelong glace and smiled a bit wickedly. "Sort of."

"Chance ..."

"The Council sent me here for my first field training because they're
grooming me to be part of a new kind of special ops team. I'm not supposed
to know. They were going to send Nigel, but they found his field
performance to be 'unsatisfactory'. Isn't that nice."

Part Nine  

"The Council sent me here for my first field training because they're
grooming me to be part of a new kind of special ops team. I'm not supposed
to know. They were going to send Nigel, but they found his field
performance to be 'unsatisfactory'. Isn't that nice."

"So now I'll have to worry about you all the time?"

"Hopefully I'm good enough, or will be good enough at my job that you won't
have to worry about me at all. I want you to be proud of me, Uncle
Rupert."

Giles smiled fondly at his favorite nephew. "Just don't marry Wesley
Wyndam-Pryce and I'll be happy as the proverbial clam."

*

"Ow, hey, watch the foot."

"I'm sorry."

"You're making me sea-sick with all this pacing."

Wesley stopped and fixed his shirt, pulling straighter the already straight
buttons. "Mr. Giles is going to kill me."

"Yeah, and he should."

"Are you mad at me, Cordelia?"

"Well, duh." She continued to file her nails. Sitting on the study table,
swinging her legs, she seemed the very picture of complacency. Wesley knew
he was in big trouble. "Why not date Chance? Just tell me that. Is it
because of this thing you and Angel have got going on?"

"Chance is a child and -" He sputtered to a stop and stared at her. "What
'thing' between Angel and I? There is no *thing*."

"Oh, of course there's a 'thing.' Do you honestly think Gunn and I haven't
noticed?" She grinned. "It's actually kind of cute in a 'so not going to
happen' sort of way."

"What if I could fix Angel's curse?"

"We figured that's what you've been working late on. Come up with
anything?"

"A few ideas, actually." He rocked back and forth on his toes, smiling
smugly.

"Which does not answer the question of why you were so rude to Chance."

"Chance is my friend."

The bell over the door rang and they both turned to see who it was. The
entire Scooby gang, extended membership, trooped in, in a rather dusty
line.

"This ash is *never* going to come out," Buffy complained, picking at the
sleeve of her sweater. "Anya, honey, remind not to kill the bad guys
wearing angora ever again."

"You don't have to wear anything at all. I like you just fine naked."

"And that Hallmark moment brought to you by the Happy Meals on Legs
Corporation. Fulfill your need to *be* food today," Xander said, falling
heavily into a chair.

"Anytime, pet, anytime." Spike slumped in a chair next to him.

"That's disturbing, Spike, but at the same time rather ... intriguing. Oh,
stop me now!"

Spike leered at his chosen nummy.

Catching Chance's wrist, Wesley pulled him aside. "You're all right?"

"Fine."

"I'm sorry I said what I did. I never meant for you to hear it."

"But you did mean to say it." Chance tried to pull away, but Wesley
wouldn't let go of his hand. "That's attached, you know."

"I'm quite aware. Chance, you've got to understand. You're like a little
brother to me, and - "

"Stop now. Stop right now. Spare me the agony." He took his hand back
and crossed his arms. "I get it. You don't like me. You can just say
that."

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

Wesley sighed and found something very interesting about the tops of his
loafers. "I'm in love with someone else."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Did you want me to go into hysterics?"

"Ah, no, no hysterics is fine."

"Good. Fine. Are we done then?"

"Uh, yes, I guess we are."

With one last pointed glare, Chance walked back across the room to be with
the Scooby Gang. Wesley stared after him sadly, content to sit apart for a
time and not make any more trouble for himself.

"Do I hear a pizza calling my name?" Xander asked.

"We really should get back," Angel said.

"Ooo, can we have ham and pineapple?" Buffy spoke right over him.

"Now that's my kinda girl." Gunn grinned broadly. "I think we're stayin'
for dinner, lowly office worker guy, right Wes?"

"Sure, Gunn."

Angel sighed, a very put-upon sigh, and gave in. A concrete wall of swift
and random justice he might be to his enemies, but he was putty in the
hands of his co-workers.

Gunn and Buffy got their ham-pineapple pizza, Xander had one without
garlic, Tara liked hers with cheese and Willow liked anything Tara liked,
and everyone else had pepperoni, ostensibly to eat, but more so they could
throw the toppings at one another.

Well into the festivities, Chance wandered over and took the empty seat
next to Wesley. "Hi."

"Hi." Wesley offered his friend another slice of pizza, which Chance
snapped up like the growing boy that he was. "Speaking to me now?"

"You could have just said that I'm too young."

"Yes, well, I figured you didn't want to hear it."

"This other person, is he worth it? I mean, is he going to be good to
you?"

"I think so. I hope so. I mean, if he doesn't turn evil on me."

"Yeah, that would suck." Chance stared at his shoes, scuffing them against
the floor. "I'm not mad anymore, but I guess you could have let me down a
bit easier."

"I certainly didn't mean for all that to happen."

"I know. Let me know if you need any help with any research."

"Research?" Wesley eyed the boy uncertainly.

"You know into souls and things." Chance pursed his lips. "I'm not blind,
Wes. I can see whom it is you do like. And, hey, it's kind of fun to
picture the two of you together in compromising positions." Wesley
blushed. Chance grinned.

Wesley paused, thinking. "Well ... "

"Yes?"

"You are the only person I know who reads Brakzarian."

"Hah! I knew that would be good for something. Dad says to me, Brakzarian
is totally dead, Chance. Major in a real language your third year. Hah!
Knew I'd need it."

"I'm glad I could make your day a pleasant one."

Chance pulled his oldest friend into a hug, a grin splitting his face from
ear to ear. "Just send me the stuff."

"So, we're all right."

"Yeah, we're all right."

"Ow! Hey!" Xander yelled as Spike pelted him with pepperoni. "Stop that
right now!"

"Or what fearless Scooby?"

"You'll face the wrath of the headache from Hell. Those things are
starting to hurt."

Spike smirked. "You know what cures a headache?"

"What?"

"Sex."

"Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Xander pelted him with pepperoni.

Epilogue

Dear Uncle Rupert,

I'm sorry you couldn't come to graduation. It was a splendid thing. I
graduated first in my class and they actually let me give a speech. Can
you believe it? I mean it's traditional for the valedictorian to give a
speech, but I figured they would nix it when it came to me. No, Quinton
Travers had to stand there and smile politely as I poked fun at the whole
school and him most of all. I thought you would like knowing that.

They have decided I am good enough for the special ops team they are
creating, so for the next ten months I'm in field training. Don't worry
too much. I don't think they will let us get in too much trouble.
Romania, where we will be, isn't the Hellmouth after all.

I have met a few other prospective members of the team and I must say I'm
impressed. One is half-demon and another girl has already done a tour with
the US Airborne. ...and our pet wizard. He's positively dreamy. Okay,
I'll put my tongue back in my mouth now, but I just have to ask, is it
wrong to date a Malfoy?

Love,
Chance

The End