In Meus Animus
by Hannah

Xander stood staring at the dark wooden door until it opened. "Devon."

The said boy opened his eyes and lifted a hand laboriously up to his hair to smooth it out a bit. Xander got this sudden urge to call him Disgruntled Devon, but let is pass as one of those occasionally resurfacing first grade name-calling moments.

"Do I know you, dude?"

Xander felt hurt for a moment but tossed it aside as irrational to be. "I went to school with you. Sat near you in math?"

Devon's face was devoid of any signs of recognition.

"I knew Oz."

Something washed over Devon's face and he suddenly looked interested. "Oh, you're one of his girlfr- I mean, ex girlfriend's friends..."

"Yah. I need to talk to you." Xander said quickly.

"Sure, man. Come in." Devon stepped aside and Xander walked into the apartment. It was dark and messy and littered with clothes and scraps of paper (lyrics, he thought)... yet it was cozy. Very much so.

Devon sat down on the couch and looked him right in the eye. Continue, he seemed to urge with those sea-green orbs.

"Well, yes um... I... I have a bit of a problem."

Devon just kept looking.

"And it involves... well... sex."

One eyebrow went up, but still he kept looking.

"With... a guy." Xander winced, feeling a little too vulnerable sitting on the couch of kid he barely knew, asking about sex with another guy.

"Why me, man?"

"Well, I know you and Oz had... history together. And I was hoping you could help me out, because I want to... with... someone." Awkward, so awkward. And the way Devon kept looking. It was highly disconcerting.

"Who, man?" Devon asked, but his mind was drifting, back to the first time he and Oz had ever...

*There was smoke. Lots of it. And as they got hotter in the midst of it all, clothes were peeled off until they were both sitting in their boxers in the dimly lit room. Eyes roamed and met. And held. Tension.*

"Um... Spike." But Xander suddenly realized that Devon had no idea who he was, considering he wasn't in on the whole 'vampires prowling the streets of Sunnydale' thing. "He's a guy. And he's really... and we're... but I'm sort of scared about our first time. Because he's done it with like, lots with guys..." The thought kind of put Xander off, but he continued, "and I'm scared I'll be too... unknowledged. because I'm not even sure how it physically works..."

"Well, is this dude... well how does he look?" Devon asked absently, his thoughts still tied back to that night years ago.

*A light brush of the hand, jolts of electricity shot up long, slender arms and went straight to both groins. Eyebrows raised, surprised. This was different...*

"He's tall, and well built... and kinda slimmish... and I think he's... well-endowed." Xander said - not sure of exactly how, but feeling just downright comfy around this guy. Like he could really open up. No wonder someone like Oz worked so well with him...

"Hmm..."

*A question was asked. Tentatively. It was polite and simple, but meant so much more. An answer given. A non-committal, indifferent answer. But it held excitement. And then there was a kiss. And god, was it a kiss.*

"Well, yah. Actually like a lot. But anyway, what do I do?" Xander brought them back to the present issue, although he'd love nothing more than to tell Devon every little detail about Spike.

"Well first you gotta start right, man."

*Skin blended to skin, mouth blended to mouth. Everything moved from the couch to the floor. Minds and limbs intertwined all at once. Utter bliss.*

"Okay, well, with what?"

"Feel fucking everything, man. Memorize every inch of the guy."

*Hands. Hands moving to places they'd never been before. Sounds, hoarse with pleasure and incoherent with need. Shudder. Tremble. New at this. But feels so good... so right...*

"And...?" Xander was getting a little too excited, picturing everything in his mind with Spike, but he didn't know Devon was going through the same thing.

"Get rid of the clothes. And lose yourself. Just give in to everything inside."

*Last scraps of clothing lost. Tension and inhibitions tossed with them into the far corner of the room. A warm hand, moving lower... and nothing becomes clear anymore, its all just a fuzzy blend of good feelings and colours...*

"Okay..." Xander noticed the distant look in Devon's eyes and decided to just let him talk.

"Let him do some stuff on his own. He'll know how to get you ready for it... if he's done it even once with another guy, he'll know."

*Fingers... have never been there and oh god, wishing they have as it feels so incredibly... tingly. Yes, everything tingles where fingers and hands have been... like its wildfire, but its more like lust screaming through veins...*

"He'll be there, ready, and then he'll be in you..."

*Suddenly, there's one of them. A perfectly fitted, custom-made being that is creating the most sensual feelings...*

"Just move so it feels good. And he'll move so it feels good for you too... cuz he cares, right? And then it'll happen and it'll be so fucking good. And when it's over... there's like this glow, this static charge in the air... and man, don't move. Whatever you do, don't move and lose the moment cuz sometimes it can get lost. Way too easily."

*It's slow now. Calm. Serene. Tranquil. Just the sound of breathing and the sound of thoughts that aren't quite racing, they're actually more sparse than they have been for a long while... because there's happiness.*

Xander took a breath and stood up, suddenly needing to find some place to get himself off... or some one to get himself off with... namely the delicious vampire asleep in his basement. He moved over to the couch where Devon sat, looking insanely depressed.

"Look, I know that was hard for you. But thank you so much... I... I..." Devon looked up in his eyes, and he appeared so small and lonely and distant, and Xander couldn't help adding in a soft voice. "Oz'll be back. He... and you... have something." he wasn't sure if he was completely off target there, but it seemed to hit home as Devon smiled.

"Thanks, man."

"Yah." Xander nodded and sauntered slowly out the door.

Devon looked at the door after it closed, cocking his head to one side. "He'll be back." He said to it, uncertain. "We have something."
The door didn't reply but he didn't seem to care. He sighed and leaned his head back, eyes closed. "But what the hell is it?"



END