Nightmares Between Them 
by Kay 

It happens in a second. They are walking down the street, talking about 
everything and nothing, just enjoying the company of each other. The sound 
of squealing tires cuts through the night and they turn. The care bearing 
down on them is moving at an insane speed. Spike tries to knock Xander out 
of the way but he isn’t fast enough. He hears the sickening impact of metal 
on flesh and watches as Xander is battered and torn, transformed into a pile 
of ruined flesh before his disbelieving eyes. Even as he rushes to his 
side, Spike knows Xander’s dead. 

***** 

Xander barely beats the dawn to his apartment. The door is open, and his 
father inside. “What the hell are you doing here?” And where was Spike? 
The vampire should’ve been home already. 

“Cleaning up the family’s name.” His father takes a step forward. “First 
thing I did was get rid of that freak you had living here. The rumors...” 

“Where is he?” 

“Threw him outside after I beat the shit out of him. he didn’t even try to 
fight back.” 

Xander runs outside, even as the sun breaks over the horizon and the crackle 
of flames fills his ears. 

***** 

The glory of violence fills him and Spike gives himself over to it. The 
heady bliss of blood and broken flesh under his hands enraptures him as he 
battles the demons. He leaves hi back unprotected for a moment. He catches 
movement from the corner of eye but feels nothing. Turns fully and sees 
what shielded him from the blow: Xander on his knees, choking on his own 
blood as his hands fall way from the blade buried in his chest - the blade 
meant for Spike. Spike watches him fall and closes his eyes, waiting for 
the next blow. 

***** 

“Traitor.” 

“Betrayer.” 

“Slayer’s pet.” 

The group of demons surrounds Spike, muttering insults and accusations as 
they circle him. 

From his hiding place, Xander can see the terror hidden behind his lover’s 
disdainful, haughty glare. He wants to join Spike, to help him in any way 
he could or just stand with him, but Spike had made him swear no to move, no 
matter what, and they never broke promises to each other. He watches in 
horror as the demons close in. Spike is a whirlwind of pain and 
destruction, but Xander closes his eyes as his lover is swarmed under. 

***** 

Spike shifts the fevered body in his arms, trying to make Xander more 
comfortable. 

Brown eyes drift open, hazy with pain and delirium. “Spike?” 

“Yes, love?” 

“It’s going to be soon. Do you think I’ll see Joyce?” 

Spike brushes a kiss across his forehead. “’Course you will, love. She’ll 
be there, waiting for you with a cup of hot chocolate.” He begins to rock 
Xander gently. “She’ll be there, and your mates from school. They’ll be 
happy to see you and keep you company till I get there.” He keeps talking 
as Xander’s heart slows and his life slips away. 

***** 

“Bad Spikey, trying to leave me all alone.” Drusilla’s pout changes into a 
hideous smile. “I shall have to punish you.” 

Xander watches in horror as she climbs on top of his bound lover. 

“Everyone leaves me,” she whimpers. “Daddy left me when he got his soul, 
Grandmum left me when she got strong. You’re not leaving me, Spikey. I’m 
going to send you to the stars, and then you can sing to me forever with 
them.” She slides a stake through his heart. 

Blinded by tears, Xander hears her approach. 

“Now, what to do with the nasty Spike thief?” 

***** 

Spike opens his eyes painfully; in the middle of his fight with demons the 
chip had activated. What had set it off? He rubs his hand over his face. 
and catches the scent of blood...Xander’s blood. Staring at his gory hands 
in horror, he hears a soft sigh. 

Xander is on the ground, skin as pale as Spikes. his eyes are dazed, but he 
smiles a little when his gaze meets Spike’s. “Sorry,” he whispers, one hand 
pressed to his ruined side “Shouldn’t have gotten in the way. Love y...” 
He’s gone, leaving Spike alone with his bloody hands. 

***** 

Xander’s fists are bloody, but he continues to pound on the door to they 
crypt, screaming Spike’s name. The vampire had locked Xander inside and 
himself out, and sunrise was only minutes away. His voice gone, his hand 
ruined, he slides down to the floor. “Why?” 

“Sorry, pet.” Spikes voice drifts through the door, low and controlled. “I 
can’t take it any more. I can’t go on being William the Biteless, the 
Slayer’s person whipping vamp.” 

“Don’t leave me. Please, Spike. Isn’t what we have enough?” 

Xander’s only answer is a low moan of pain and the sudden crackle of flames. 

***** 

Strange noise inside the apartment, so Spike breaks the door down, calling 
Xander’s name. Stops moving utterly as he takes in the sight in front of 
him: Xander’s limp body thrown over the couch, the blood and torn clothing 
strewn about the room telling the awful tale of what occurred before his 

death. Xander’s dead; his heart has fallen silent. 

Large figure standing up, casually wiping away the precious crimson of 
Xander’s blood from smirking lips. “Spike? Aren’t you glad to see me? 
Sorry about your toy, but I’ll get you an new one, I promise. 

“Smile, Childe. Daddy’s home...” 

***** 

“It’s for your own good,” Willow says with tears in her eyes. “Xander, 
we’re just trying to save you from him.” 

“I don’t need to be saved I love him!” He struggles against the spell that 
holds him motionless. 

Buffy and Giles ignore him as they advance on Spike, giving him no chance to 
escape. Blue eyes meet brown, and Spike gifts him with a heart-breaking 
smile. “Love you, Xanpet. Was worth it, what we have. Nor regrets, love.” 

Before Xander can make a reply, Buffy has staked S, silencing him forever 
and killing forever a part of Xander’s soul. 

***** 

Spike painfully drags himself across the alley, reaching for Xander. A 
stolen kiss witnessed by a group of homophobes brought on an attack. Spike 
hadn’t been able to protect Xander, had been beaten to the ground, 
unconscious. He is moving toward Xander’s scent. The flesh he touches is 
cold, lifeless. Xander isn’t going to heal. Clenching his useless teeth, 
Spike hates himself for failing his lover, for not even being able to run 
Xander and save him that way. The only thing he can do is pull Xander’s 
body into his arms, hold him close and wait for the dawn. 

***** 

Time slows down as he thrusts the stake through undead flesh. He can feel 
the resistance of the muscle, hear the tearing sound of skin and cloth as he 
pushes hard, has time to gaze into blue eyes, bright with pain and horror, 
before his lover explodes into dust. he hadn’t heard Spike coming; he’d 
been too caught up in fighting for his life against a group of minions. He 
drops his stake and stares at the ashes clinging to his clothing and shoes. 
He can hear someone screaming, and it takes him sever minutes to realize 
that it is himself. 

***** 

Sweet slide of mouth on mouth and he never wants it to end, but Spike hears 
footsteps and pushes Xander away. Too late; Buffy has seen them together. 
Xander tries to babble an explanation but Buffy silences him with a glare. 

“How could you do this” she asks, staring at Spike. “How were you able to 
turn him?” Before Spike can correct her she is slamming a stake into 
Xander’s chest. 

Spike screams a denial but it is too late; all he can do is hold Xander as 
the life pours from his body, useless tears streaming down his cheeks. 

***** 

Xander struggles against the men holding his arms but it’s no use; they are 
too many and his is held immobile as Spike his rendered unconscious with 
electricity. “Riley, don’t do this,” he begs, watching soldiers load Spike 
into a bag. 

“Xander, we need him for study. The chip in his head is unique. It could 
be used to do a lot of good.” 

“What about Spike?” 

“He’s just a vampire, Xander. Calm down.” 

Xander can’t calm down. They’re taking Spike, his love, away. “Riley, 
please!” 

“What’s you’re problem, Xander? Don’t worry about him. You’re never going 
to see him again.” 

***** 

Xander’s eyes are wide and guileless as he leans against the doorframe. “I 
don’t see what the big deal is. We had some fun together, but we knew it 
was just a way to pass the time. It was great, Spike, but Anya want’s me 
back. The sex is amazing with her, too, and I’m in love with her. You 
understand, right?” Then his’ gone, gone before Spike can say anything, 
gone before he can object and make a fool of himself by declaring his love 
and need and devotion, gone before he can demand to have his heart back. 

***** 

Xander screams in denial as Angel pins Spike to the ground with a stake. 
Angel moves to comfort him and Xander beats his hands away. “What the fuck 
did you do?” 

“I save you,” Angel answers. “I saw him attacking you...Xander, what’s 
wrong with you?” 

Attacking him? They’d been necking in the moon light, holding each other 
close with Spike lying on top. He picks up the discarded stake as Angel 
approaches him form behind. 

“What’s wrong?” Angel repeats. 

“Nothing.” Xander turns and slams the stake into Angel’s chest. He thinks 
of his gun at home. “Nothing at all.” 

***** 

Spike eases through the doorway, hands outstretched. “Don’t do this, pet.” 

Xander raises his tear-stained face, but the gun under his chin never 
wavers. “I can’t do this anymore,” he whispers. “Can’t take the looks, the 
way they hate me. Can’t stand what I’ve become.” The self-loathing in his 
voice makes Spike flinch. 

Xander screws his eyes shut and Spike is running but he’s not one his 
lover’s superheroes, he only has vampiric speed, he isn’t faster than a 
speeding bullet. The sound of the shot echoes in his ears, drowned out only 
by his own screams. 

***** 

“Hey, G-man.” Xander tries to spot Spike without being seen looking for 
him, but he can’t find the vampire anywhere. Giving up, he asks, “Where’s 
Spike?” 

“Spike?” Buffy looks up from her magazine. “You didn’t hear? I dusted him 
last night. He made one smart ass smirky remark too many and I decided he’d 
out-lived his usefulness.” 

“He’s dead?” The words feel wrong in his mouth. 

“Yes, thank goodness,” Giles confirms. He says more, but Xander can’t hear 
him, can’t hear anything over the sound of his shattering heart. Spike 
can’t be dead. Not after Xander had just realized.... 

***** 

Spike stares out the window, grateful for the UV glass that protects him 
from the sun. He catches sight of Xander coming home and watches his lover 
smile in the sunlight. 

Watches the two men approach Xander from behind, carrying knives low and at 
the ready. 

Watches them threaten him. 

Watches them take his money and his watch. 

Watches them begin to argue even as Xander tries to placate them with raised 
hands. 

Watches as knives cut Xander down, leaving him bleeding and lifeless in the 
street. 

Watches as his world is destroyed in the killing light of the sun. 

***** 

Xander feels disconnected. He doesn’t even recognize his own voice as he 
asks, “Why?” 

Spike picks up his bag and lights a cigarette. “Get real, Harris. Did you 
really think I was going to hang around Sunnyhell forever? Dru is through 
with that chaos demon, and I miss her. We’ve been apart too long this 
time.” He smiles distractedly in Xander’s direction. “You were a real 
nummy treat, but she’s my dark princess. You understand.” He turns and 
leaves, never looking back, never seeing the shattered wreckage of a human 
heart and spirit he leaves behind where Xander had been. 

***** 

Every night they end p wrapped around each other in bed so tightly that 
neither can tell where one begins and the other ends. Every night, no 
matter if they’ve made love first, or if one retires early and the other 
joins him later, they sleep and wake up entwined in a desperate attempt to 
become one skin, one person and never be separated again. It’s a sign of 
love, of possession and devotion and fear, a sign of how much they truly 
need each other. But with so many nightmares between them, how can they 
sleep any other way? 

***** 

All done...almost. I’m attempting to seduce my roommate into the wonderful 
world of Spike and Xander fun. She wrote a little snippet, so here you are, 
two bits of fic for the price of one: 

~~~ 
Something hit my head, and I slept. 

I wake up to the face of my lover. His blue eyes are cloudy with worry. I 
reach up to touch his face, and he winces at the spattering crimson across 
his face. 

Why is he so worried? I got hit, I slept, I’m better. 

Maybe another short nap will help. My eyes drift closed. He leans into my 
chest, pillowing his head on its familiar place. I’m glad he’s here. 

Was that my blood. 

He yells my name, then removes the stake from my clenched fist. “To 
eternity, my love.”

end