Changes
by Little Pinky
Part One Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part One
At first, there was nothing unusual about the evening in Sunnydale. The sun
was setting, the birds were singing, people were starting to retreat into
their houses and demons and vampires were beginning to wake up all over the
city.
Then, there was screaming.
Lots and lots of screaming.
"AAAAAAAH! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOOOOOOOOOD!!!!"
Xander Harris practically bolted from the bed when the high-pitched, female
scream hit his ears. It didn't take him more than a minute to recognize the
terrified Anya, standing by the edge of his bed.
"Anya!"
"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod," she sputtered, pointing to Xander's bed, before
moving her eyes to Xander once again - and screaming louder than ever.
"OHMYGOD, XANDER!"
His eyes quickly going first to his bed, Xander spotted a very naked Spike,
just starting to come awake from Anya's screaming. Then, he moved his eyes
to look down at himself, and saw that he was very naked, too.
"AAAH!"
Bolting for the bed, Xander immediately placed the covers over both him and
Spike, before looking at his hysterical girlfriend again. "Anya..."
"You're, you're, you're," Anya stammered, her voice a high-pitched squeak
that could cut glass. "You're, you're...you *are*!!!"
Quickly finding his boxers in the tangle of bedsheets, Xander pulled them on
and stood, but when he took a step towards Anya, she backed off.
"Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't come fucking *near* me, Xander
Harris! Why are you and Spike in bed together, huh, you and *Spike*??? And
*NAKED*???"
"Anya," Xander started again, panicking slightly as he tried to make up an
excuse his girlfriend would fall for. But there was none. Sighing, he
decided to just tell her the truth. Taking a deep breath, Xander met Anya's
hysterical eyes.
"I'm bisexual, Anya."
"No, no," Anya sulked, shaking her head and glancing at Spike, who was just
watching, his face an unreadable mask. "You can't be bisexual, I've read
about it. Only confused girls in prison are bi, and you're not!"
"I'm bi," Xander explained again, carefully taking a step closer to Anya and
reaching out to take her hands in his. "And although I think this is a bad
time to tell you this, I think we should break up."
"Oh, I don't think so, I know so!" Anya said quickly, looking at Xander, her
eyes wild and confused. "You're so weird, and I don't like you, and you make
me have all these stupid feelings, and I hate it, and right now I wanna
cry!" she babbled, ending her tirade in a sob.
Sighing and wondering when his life had gone to Hell, Xander pulled her into
a tight hug,
allowing her to cry into his shoulder. He made sure to keep his back towards
Spike, but he could feel the blonde's eyes piercing his neck.
When Anya's sobs were reduced to muffled hiccups, she pulled back and Xander
brushed away a strand of hair from her face.
"Look, why don't you go to Giles, okay? Tell him I need to speak with
everybody and that I'll be over shortly, okay?"
Anya glanced at Spike and opened her mouth to say something. Then she closed
it and simply walked out the door without another word. Xander sighed deeply
when she was gone, before he turned back to the bed and met Spike's eyes.
"You gonna tell 'em?" Spike asked, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Have to," Xander replied with a small shrug, walking over to find a clean
pair of jeans. "I mean, Anya's lips aren't gonna stay shut even if I'd sewed
them together, so...!" He tried to make it sound like it was no big deal,
but they both knew that it was.
"Everything?" Spike asked.
Xander froze for a few moments, before he slowly turned to face the blonde.
Walking over and crawling in under the covers next to the vampire, Xander
kissed him slowly and lightly on the lips.
"Everything," Xander said, before he paused and looked down. "I want you
there."
Spike was slightly surprised, and a tiny frown appeared on his face. "Me?"
he asked and Xander nodded. "Why? It's not like I'm really a part of your
little Scooby Gang."
Xander was silent for a few more moments, before he kissed Spike again.
"Yes, you are," he said quietly, before he lifted his finger to run it down
the side of Spike's pale face. "I love you."
Lifting his own hand and taking Xander's, twining their fingers together,
Spike smiled. "I love you too," he replied, before tilting his head
sideways. "How are you?"
"Fine," Xander replied honestly. "A little sore. It feels a little...loose."
"Ah, never mind, that's normal," Spike said with a shrug, before a
thoughtful look crossed his face. "At least from what I can remember about
it."
Xander raised an eyebrow. "What, you've never..."
"...popped a cherry before," the blonde finished bluntly, trying to hide his
embarassment. "We can talk about this later. Your chums are probably waiting
already."
"I know," Xander sighed. "I'm scared."
"I know you are," Spike said, squeezing his lover's hand affectionately.
"But I'm gonna be right there with you. And if the Slayer or anybody else
tries anything funny with you, I'm gonna rip their friggin' throats out!"
"You can't do that," Xander reminded him with a small smile. "You're
neutered."
"Aw, damn," Spike complained as they both got out of bed and started getting
dressed. "But I am gonna say bad, rude things to them."
Xander smiled at the vampire as he pulled on his shirt. "Thanks, Spike."
Spike nodded and returned the smile. "You're welcome, pet."
They finished dressing in silence. When they were finally fully clothed and
prepared to go, Xander stopped with his hand at the doorknob, turning to
face Spike. "Do you think they'll be mad?"
The question sounded almost casually, but the blonde vampire could feel the
blood in Xander's veins rushing underneath his skin, and the quick heartbeat
of his heart, signalizing that he was a lot more nervous than he showed.
"No," Spike replied honestly. "They might be stunned, in disbelief or they
might have a hard time accepting it at first. But they won't be mad."
"But...don't you think they'll find me disgusting, or something?" Xander
asked, his bottom lip trembling as he carefully met Spike's eyes.
"No," Spike said again, shaking his head. "They won't. They will hug you and
feel sorry for you, and then they will support you and love you even more
than they did before you told them, if such a thing is possible."
"What about Anya?"
"She'll be heartbroken," Spike said bluntly, making sure to keep eye contact
with Xander. "And she'll cry and say she hates you, when in reality she
loves you. She won't understand, but hopefully she'll get over it as time
goes by."
Xander and Spike remained standing by the door in silence for a long while,
before Xander swallowed and looked down for a second. Smiling, he looked up
again, and Spike could see tears in his eyes. "Why are you so nice? I
mean...It's not like you've got a soul or anything."
Spike shrugged and one corner of his mouth tilted up. "Dunno," he said. "I
just like you a lot more than a little."
His grin faded as his face turned serious again. "I love you, Xander. And I
really want to help you. And right now, I feel I can help by preparing you
to face your chums. A whole lot is about to get changed in your life, and I
want to help you adjust to those changes. And you bloody well better let
me!"
Xander smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I will," he said, before he looked away.
"Changes are good," he mumbled, trying to convince himself that it was true.
"Well, not always, but in this case they are," Spike insisted, poking his
lover in the chest once. "And right now, you are gonna move that skinny ass
of yours through that door, and towards the Watcher's home, and we're gonna
face those changes together."
Xander smiled at Spike, before he dropped a quick kiss to his lips. "I love
you," he said, before the two moved out the door together, closing it behind
them with a quiet 'click.'
Part Two
"Xander!"
The brunette jumped and nearly hid behind the blonde vampire, when the small
group of people came towards him at full speed.
"Uh...," he stammered, managing to get out a tiny smile. "Hi, guys?"
Nervously, Xander let his gaze drift across Giles' apartment, his eyes
settling on the persons in the room, one after one. He studied the
expressions on their faces, trying to decipher their thoughts. Anya was the
only one who hadn't moved when he and Spike entered, and she still looked
slightly hysterical.
Willow looked at him with almost sympathy in her eyes, and Giles stood
leaned against a wall, his face an unreadable mask that made Xander feel
like shrinking down to the size of a smurf, then run and hide.
Buffy, however...
With a look that practically shot stakes, the blonde Slayer walked over to
the vampire with two long steps, and immediately placed herself nose to nose
with him.
"What did you do to him???" she demanded, her voice icy.
"Me?" Spike asked incredulously, pointing to himself. "I didn't do jack
shit! Now shut the bloody hell up and let the boy tell his effin' story!"
A stake appeared in Buffy's hand, seemingly out of nowhere, and the tiny
blonde had the Master vampire pressed up against the wall in a second, her
whole body radiating fury.
"What the hell did you do to my friend, Spike?!" she demanded once more,
pressing the stake dangerously close to his chest.
Spike's hands went up to claw at the fingers digging into his neck, but as
he pushed the Slayer away, a painful throb in his skull caused him to groan
loudly. "Shove it, Slayer!"
"No, I-"
"DAMN IT, WILL YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO XANDER?!?"
The scream didn't come from the blonde vampire, nor from the boy now
standing by the stairs with his head bowed. The redhead had retreated back
to the couch next to the former demon, and they were both sitting with their
heads downwards as well, not daring to look up at the furious ex-Watcher.
Taking another step closer to Spike and Buffy, Giles looked angrily at them.
"Buffy, sit down! Xander told Anya that he and Spike would come over here to
explain everything to us. Now, how the hell do you expect them to do so if
you won't listen? Now sit down!"
Pouting, but silent, startled over her normally calm Watcher's outburst, the
blonde Slayer slowly walked over to the couch and sat down next to Willow.
When Spike's face scrunched up in a mocking grin, Giles turned to him and
looked at him with a look so threateningly, even Ripper would have turned
tails and run.
"Don't even get me started on you," he warned in a low, menacing tone.
Spike's grin disappeared, and he walked over to stand next to Xander
instead.
Sighing, Giles crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the
wall again, his face once again a stoic mask. "Now, Alexander, if you please
will begin your story."
All the people in the room reacted a little to Giles' use of Xander's full
name, but everybody knew - somehow - that this was not the right time to
ask.
They watched with part shock and part sympathy - and a couple of them with
part disgust - as a lone tear fell from Xander's eye and the boy clasped
Spike's hand tightly for comfort, their fingers twining together.
"I've been...," Xander began, before he choked on his own voice and had to
start over. "My dad...isn't nice to me. And I'm bisexual. Spike found out,
and...it's...it was...I was just very confused. And...he...he, Spike, he
helped me."
Another tear fell from his eyes, but he didn't even seem to notice it.
"And we...he k-kissed me...And I kissed him...And things...I...I just...I
realized I love him, and he...said he loves me...And I think, I mean, I
kn...I know t-that he means it."
The room fell silent, everybody knowing that they'd just heard the 'limited
edition' of Xander Harris' Tales Of Tragedy, but neither was so sure they
*wanted* to hear more. It was Anya's half-choked sob that interrupted the
silence as the former demon tried to both look Xander straight into his eyes
and keep her face straight.
"Don't...Aren't you in love with me anymore?" she asked, her voice shaking.
Xander paused for a long while, his gaze locking with Anya's. He didn't snap
out of his thoughts before Spike's hand carefully squeezed his. He knew it
didn't mean that he should hurry up and reject Anya as quickly as possible
to get it over with, he knew it meant that he was supposed to take his time
and say whatever he felt was the right to say.
So he said what he felt was the right to say.
Xander told her the truth.
"I love you, Anya," he said quietly, his own voice trembling. "But I'm not
in love with you
anymore."
The girl looked at him with pleading eyes, but when she once again found the
eyes of the man she loved, she knew there would be no use in begging, no use
in trying to make him see the 'truth', because he had indeed seen the truth.
But it wasn't the truth she'd hoped it would be, and in her heart she knew
it was truly over.
So the former demon got to her feet and left the apartment without another
word, without a sob and without shedding a tear - her head held high in a
gesture that told everybody she was clinging to her dignity, much with the
same force she was holding back her tears.
But Xander had seen them in the corners of her eyes.
Spike didn't have time to block.
He didn't have time to react.
He didn't even have time to *see* the blonde Slayer, before she was over
him, her fists raining down on him in a steady rhythm, hitting him
everywhere, including the spot her boot had connected with his jaw only a
few seconds ago.
Only Giles had been focused enough to see the blonde Slayer bolt from her
seat the moment the door closed behind Anya, and attack Spike.
"Bloody hell, somebody get this wild cat off me!" Spike screaming, his
entire body hurting from the blows the Slayer rained upon him.
"Buffy, stop!" Willow yelled, getting to her feet as well, but not daring to
come too close, afraid to be hit.
"You goddamn bastard!" Buffy screamed as she continued to hit Spike. "You
cause nothing but trouble! You cause heartbreak, and you ruin relationships,
and you ruin my friends' lives and you ruin *MY* life!"
"Buffy!" both Xander and Giles cried out, running to her and trying to get a
hold of her arms which were going wild.
"Get away from me!" Buffy screamed, continuing to hit the now very dazed
Spike.
Taking a wild punch to his jaw, Xander fell backwards and landed on his butt
on the floor. Shaking his head, he saw that Spike was starting to look more
than a little worn around the edges, and he saw the blood now coming from
the vampire's nose.
"Buffy, stop it, you're killing him," he cried out as he got to his feet
again.
"That's the idea,!" Buffy screamed, flipping Spike over on his back as the
stake appeared in her hand again. Raising her arms high above her head, she
kept her eyes glued to the semi-conscious vampire's chest. "I hate you!" she
snarled before she brought the stake down towards Spike's chest.
"NO!" Xander screamed, his voice a high-pitched screech that made Willow
shudder.
And then everything was quiet.
Part Three
Buffy stared wide-eyed, her body still radiating fury. Twisting, she gritted
her teeth, trying to bring the stake fully down to Spike's chest, but Giles
didn't budge, using both hands to keep the stake away from Spike.
"Let me go!" Buffy insisted. "Spike's evil, he'd got to die!"
"Buffy," Giles asked softly, halting her movements completely.
"Are you doing this for Xander and Anya, or for yourself?"
At that, the Slayer froze. For a long while, she just stared off into space,
before it seemed like she woke up from a deep sleep, and she stared at the
semi-conscious vampire. Her eyes growing wide in horror over what she almost
did, she somehow immediately knew how much the vampire meant to her best
friend, and lowering her stake, she quickly scrambled off Spike.
Xander was there immediately, carefully supporting Spike up so his upper
body was lying in his lap. Supporting his head with his arm, Xander ran his
fingers through the peroxide blonde hair, kissing the pale forehead and
whispering comforting words.
"It's alright, I've got you, it's gonna be okay, sssh..."
"I'll get the first aid kit," Giles informed them, and as he disappeared
upstairs, Willow carefully walked over to Buffy who'd sat down in the couch
again, her back towards the scene by the stairs.
"Buffy?"
Turning her head, Buffy met the redhead's eyes. "I almost killed him,
Willow. If Giles hadn't stopped me..."
"You did what you thought were right," Willow said comfortingly. "And Spike
*is* evil. He's just de-fanged."
"But did you hear Xander?" Buffy asked, her eyes blank and wide. "I've
never..it was as if I heard his scream, but it didn't register in my brain.
I mean, that was...that was the most heartbreaking scream I've ever heard,
Willow."
"I know," Willow said, nodding slightly. "I guess Xander really loves Spike,
huh?"
Buffy nodded, swallowing heavily. "I guess he does."
"But you don't think Spike loves Xander?" Willow asked, feeling the 'but'
before it was spoken.
"I don't know," Buffy confessed quietly, turning her head to look at Xander
who was still holding Spike in his lap. "We'll just have to wait and see."
Using his shirtsleeve to wipe away the drops of blood running from Spike's
nose, Xander once again kissed his forehead as the vampire began to swim
back to full consciousness again.
"Spike?"
"Mmm-hmmm," Spike said around a moan, one of his hands lifting to carefully
cradle his head. "Fuck, that bitch really knows how to throw a punch!" he
complained, just as Giles emerged from upstairs, carrying a first aid kit.
"Here you go," the former Watcher said, sitting down next to Spike and
finding a piece of cotton to wipe away the rest of the blood around his
nose.
Xander helped the blonde vampire sit up, then made sure he was alright,
before he got to his feet and walked over to Buffy.
Buffy ducked her head for a moment, before she met Xander's eyes, her own
full of tears. "Xander, I-"
"No, it's okay," Xander said quickly. "I know how you felt. I know you
didn't mean it. And it's true that Spike has ruined a lot for you, but he
has really helped me a lot. I..."
He trailed off a little and shook his head. "I honestly don't know what I
would have done without him," he confessed quietly. "And I really love him.
I'm sorry, but that's the way things are."
"I know," Buffy said, nodding. "I really am sorry. And please believe me
when I say I accept everything. We all know you haven't the
best...relationship with your parents," the blonde Slayer said carefully,
cringing a little when Xander averted her eyes. "But I want you to know that
we're all here for you. And you have to believe me when I say we're happy
you have someone to help you hold on."
Xander smiled weakly and nodded. "Thanks," he said quietly, before he turned
back to Spike and Giles.
"I wanna go," he said shortly, and Spike was on his feet in a second, all
traces of blood now gone from his face.
"Let's go then," he said, taking Xander's hand.
And so they left, without neither saying nor doing anything else.
*****
Xander made it so far as two steps past the doorstep of his basement, before
he broke down, the events of the past hour too much for him; His friends
finding out about his dad, about him being bisexual, about him being in love
with Spike, and Spike getting beat up...
Hurriedly closing the door and taking off his duster, Spike gathered the
sobbing boy up in his arms, purring softly and whispering quietly words into
his hair as they made their way to bed, sinking down onto it as one.
Tears flowing out of his eyes, Xander sniffed hard, hiding his face in the
crook of Spike's neck, not really wanting to show himself so vulnerable in
front of Spike.
"I'm sorry," he sniffed, shaking his head. "I'm so, so sorry, Spike!"
"It's okay," Spike said. "It wasn't your fault. Things change for your chums
too, you know, and changes can be tough."
"I'm sorry," Xander mumbled again, hiccuping once as his tears continued to
soak Spike's shirt.
Spike just held the boy, continuing to whisper soft words into his hair,
holding him in his arms. And when Xander finally didn't have any more tears
left and had fallen asleep, exhausted, Spike continued to lay with his arms
around him, gently stroking his back with one hand and purring soothingly
deep in his chest.
He tried to think that everything would be alright now that his friends
knew, now that things were sorted out. But his eyes were dark. Because he
knew that in reality, the changes barely had started.
"You better brace yourself," he told Xander's sleeping form quietly.
"Because we've all got a bloody bumpy road up ahead of us, but I think
you've got the bumpiest one of everybody."
Carefully, Spike placed a loving kiss on the top of Xander's head, before he
pulled the boy closer and soon followed him into sleep.
Part Four
Spike was dreaming about Xander.
In his sleep, he imagined seeing that dark head bowed over his chest, as
warm human lips suckled at his nipples, hands gliding across his cool flesh,
caressing and loving. He could practically feel Xander's arms sliding all
over his naked body as the boy moved lower, coming closer to the vampire's
erect penis, its pale and weeping head almost touching his stomach.
And he could also feel the small drops of salt water that hit his stomach as
Xander wept.
"Xander?"
Opening his eyes into thin slits, Spike slowly became aware that he wasn't
dreaming, that Xander really was nibbling and licking his way down his body,
that he really was hard as a rock - and that Xander really did cry.
"Xander?" Spike asked again, this time the word coming out as a little more
than a sleepy mumble.
"Shut up," was the half-choked reply from the boy, and Spike felt his
erection slowly start to shrink.
"No," the vampire said firmly, trying to push Xander off him and sit up. He
didn't want Xander, not like this. He truly loved the human man, but that
also meant he wanted to help Xander. He wouldn't let the boy just push all
his sorrows away using sex.
Slapping Spike's hands away, Xander raised his head momentarily, and his
teary gaze met Spike's.
"Just shut up, Spike," he said quietly, but there was something about his
voice. It wasn't
half-choked like it had been the first time Xander spoke, and it wasn't
filled with passion or need like it sometimes had been the nights the two
had been only a few steps from going all the way.
His voice was...
Spike searched for the right word. Xander needed this, not because he was
horny or because Spike made him want it, but because it made him forget.
Then thinking suddenly didn't seem like an option anymore, as Xander's lips
closed around Spike's half-hard cock, sucking the head like a lollipop.
Moaning, Spike arched his neck and tried to get a hold of the thought he
just had in his head. Didn't want Xander to do this! Right!
Looking down, Spike tried to will his erection to stay half-hard or fade
completely, and not rise again, but when he saw the dark head bobbing over
his member, he new it was impossible.
"Xander, pet..."
It was meant to stop the boy, but instead it came out as a passion-filled,
breathy sigh, and Spike cursed his raging hormones. He was almost 200 years,
he wasn't supposed to have raging hormones!
Blaming it on the fact that he loved Xander above everything on earth, Spike
let his eyes drift closed and allowed himself to enjoy the feelings cursing
through him for just a second.
Xander's tongue was pressing against the underside of his shaft, and Spike
couldn't hold back the groan that escaped him when he felt warm, mortal
fingers come up to play with his balls and stroke the sensitive area between
his sack and his tight opening.
The brunette didn't have any other experience in giving blowjobs than one
night the two had been very close, but halfway through, Xander had broken
down so they'd stopped. What he was lacking in experience, however, was
exactly what turned Spike on. The exploring, yet unashamed strokes of the
warm tongue, the fingers playing with his balls, the lips around his
cockhead...
The most erotic thing of it all, Spike thought, had to be the sight of
Xander's head bobbing up and down over his cock, the boy trying to look as
skilled as possible, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing.
The fact that Spike liked to watch Xander, was the only reason the blonde
vampire saw the brunette reach blindly out to the left and quickly locating
the tube on the floor next to the low bed. If his eyes had been closed, the
peroxide blonde would never have noticed it, because Xander's mouth never
left his cock, his tongue never stopped stroking, and his fingers never
stopped moving.
Shuddering when a lubed finger pressed against his opening, Spike arched his
neck and closed his eyes momentarily again. It had been a while since
anybody had been there - not since Angelus came back and decided to take
advantage of Spike's current paralyzed state.
Opening his eyes again, Spike shook off the memories and looked at Xander
instead. The boy was still sucking on his cock, but not as eagerly as
before, his attention now fixed on the finger sliding in and out of Spike's
entrance. Relaxing his muscles, Spike drew his legs back and rolled his hips
to give Xander better access, loving the feel of his warm finger inside his
cool body.
When a second, then third finger joined the first, Spike couldn't help but
wiggle in anticipation of what he knew was to come. Taking his mouth off
Spike's hard penis, Xander slowly crawled up his body, his fingers never
stopping their ministrations.
Now face to face with his lover, Xander pressed his lips to Spike's in a
needing, demanding kiss, his inexperienced fingers sending bolts of pleasure
through Spike's body every time they curled and moved slightly, hitting his
prostate.
Finally, Xander's fingers left Spike's body, and the vampire registered that
somewhere along the way, the boy had lubed himself up. Xander looked down
between their bodies and gripped the base of his cock with one hand,
pressing the head against Spike's opening.
"Just push," Spike said quietly.
When Xander lifted his head, Spike's heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
Xander's eyes were filled with love and need, but there were also sorrow and
incredible pain there. Pain over everything that had changes in the boy's
life the past forty-eight hours, pain over everything his friends had
learned about him, pain over the changes he knew were waiting for them
both...
Spike's erection immediately started to lower itself, but then he also
recognized the need he saw in his lover's eyes.
It wasn't the kind of need that meant Xander had to get laid, and right
*now,* and it wasn't the kind of need that told him Xander needed this so he
could be sure it was really supposed to be good, and not like his father had
shown him from time to time.
No, Xander needed this because he needed to feel loved, to feel wanted - and
most of all because he needed to forget.
His own eyes growing blank with tears, the blonde rolled them over until he
was on top, then straddled Xander before slowly lowering himself onto the
boy's shaft.
Moaning as he was stretched and filled, Spike slowly rotated his hips and
supported himself on one arm, until Xander's cock was hidden completely
within him.
Meeting Xander's eyes and making sure they weren't breaking contact, Spike
watched as a lone tear slid down the human's cheek, before he started
moving, riding Xander without breaking their eye contact.
Their coupling wasn't loving or raw or hurried or rhythmic or anything that
sex usually is. It was slow and painful. They both knew Xander was trying to
escape his memories and failing miserably, and that made it painful - so
very, very painful.
It wasn't pain over being stretched again after two years of being left
alone Spike felt - it was pain in his heart over Xander's sufferings, over
everything his love had gone through, and everything he would have to go
through in the future.
The vampire knew that neither the Watcher or any of the others of Xander's
friends would say anything to any legal authorities or anybody, without
Xander's permission, because he had turned nineteen. But that wouldn't make
Xander's fight back to life any less painful.
Spike's movements on Xander sped up just the tiniest bit, and when Xander's
eyes finally rolled back in his head and the boy orgasm, it was with a mere
sigh and a tiny shiver that traveled across his body as another, blank tear
ran down his cheek.
His own erection having disappeared the minute he saw Xander's eyes, Spike
moved off Xander before pulling the boy to him, back to chest, so his body
was covering the younger man's. He could feel the warmth of Xander's body
and the sweat coating his back, and between his cheeks, he could feel the
boy's semen start to dribble down his channel, but he didn't care.
All he cared about was his beautiful lover, who was currently crying
silently, trying to hide it.
"It's alright," Spike whispered.
Xander didn't reply, he just remained motionless, his arms hugging Spike's,
his tears rolling out of his eyes to disappear into the pillow, soaking the
fabric.
They remained like that, in complete silence, until Xander had cried himself
to sleep. Sighing deeply, Spike nuzzled into the boy's neck, before he
closed his eyes and let his own tears fall from behind his dark lashes. It
was the first time he'd cried since Drusilla had left him a year and a half
earlier, and the second time he'd cried in two centuries.
The old William the Bloody never cried, not even when a stallion kicked him
right in his crotch, or when Angelus decided to play especially rough.
Now, however, the vampire previously known as William the Bloody cried for a
boy whose life had been torn to pieces by the man who was supposed to be his
father.
Spike remained motionless for a long while, crying just as silently as
Xander had, until he didn't have any more tears left. Then he pressed Xander
closer to his chest and soon gave after for the strong pull of sleep.
And his last thought before he fell into sweet oblivion, was a small prayer
that his love would be alright.
*******
End
