NC-17 Rated Thoughts
by Little Pinky

Spike slowly raised two unsteady hands and tried to make the stake stand
still. Through his drunken haze, the entire room, including said stake, was
making wobbly movements left and right, making him kind of nauseous.

"Hold still, idiot pieshe of wood," he mumbled to himself, before he lowered
his hands again, giving up. Staggering over to the washer, Spike picked up
the bottle of vodka he'd left there only a few minutes earlier, and took a
large gulp. Some drops of the clear liquid escaped his mouth and trickled
down his chin to make small spots on Xander's Hawaii shirt.

"No!" Spike exclaimed in horror when he realized he'd spilled on the shirt.
Then he paused and shook his head. "U-uh, the shirt belongs to the whelp.
Doesn't matter, then," he said, apparently talking to an invisible friend.
"Bloody stupid..."

He trailed off and instead took another swig of the bottle, before climbing
up on the table, ready to throw himself at the stake. Staggering a bit,
Spike stretched out both his arms -- after taking another gulp of vodka, of
course -- and closed his eyes.

Then, as a thought struck him, he opened them again.

"Should I be sayin' some words for m'self?" he wondered. "As a last
goodbye?" Then he shrugged it off, telling his invisible friend that he
never really believed in God and all that crap anyway, so it didn't matter.

"Spike!"

The blonde turned his head and Xander and Buffy came barging in through the
door. "What are you doing?" Xander asked, shock written clearly on his face.

"Committing suicide," Spike said over his shoulder with a shrug, before he
took another sip from the bottle. "Whatzzit look like?" Then, "Wanna 'elp
me?"

Xander's expression remained shocked, but Buffy thought about it for just a
second before she shrugged. "Okay," she said quickly, moving forward to push
Spike onto the stake.

"No!" Xander said quickly, moving between the Slayer and the vampire on the
table. When he had sent Buffy his most firm 'don't-kill-Spike'-expression,
he turned to the peroxide-blonde, his angry expression becoming confused.

"Spike, what are you babbling about? You can't die," he said.

"Why not?" the peroxide-blonde asked, spinning around and nearly falling off
the table. "I've done it before!"

"True," Buffy agreed.

"'Sides, it's not like I've got anything left to unlive for anymore! I just
wanna die...again! Nobody 'ere will miss me, anyway!"

"True," Buffy agreed.

"An' since Dru left me and those effin' scholdier guys fucked with my 'ead,
I'm nothin' more than a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth!"

"True," Buffy agreed.

"I really think the bad Slayer should shut 'er gob now," Spike whined to
Xander, swinging the bottle a little.

"True," Xander said, with a pointed look aimed at the blonde girl.

"What?" Buffy asked with her most innocent look and a shrug of her
shoulders. "You're gonna defend Fang-Face? It's not like we need him for
anything, anymore! And I thought that you'd be first in line to help Spike
commit suicide -- not that you'd be defending him! Which begs the question;
Why???"

"I don't want dust all over my basement," Xander simply explained, before he
turned back to Spike again.

"Spike, it can't be that bad," he said, tugging at the vampire's shirt to
get him down from the table.

"I'm sure he'll do it outside if you want him to," Buffy mumbled from behind
the two men.

"Yes, it can!" Spike sulked, his face slowly melting into a pouty mask that
made it look like he was about to burst into tears. "I hate my unlife! I
want to die..." He paused. "...again."

"Stop this nonsense," Xander said, grabbing Spike's hand and tugging at it
to get him down from the table. Of course, the peroxide-blonde vampire was
way too drunk to keep his balance and tumbled down, landing in a heap at
Xander's feet.

"Bloody poof!" he exclaimed angrily, his words slurred. "Now I 'ave to get
all the way up... deer again!"

"No, you don't," the brunette insisted firmly, helping Spike to his feet
again. "You're going to lay down in the bed, sleep off the booze while I go
get you some new clothes, and when you wake up, you're gonna be thanking me
a lot for saving your undead ass!"

"Arse!" Spike said.

"Whatever," Xander said. Leading Spike over to the bed, he gently pushed the
vampire down onto it, then tucked him in under the covers. Taking the now
almost empty bottle from his hand, Xander shook his head sadly and was about
to say something, when he saw that the vampire had already fallen asleep. Or
passed out. Either way, his eyes were closed and he was looking extremely
dead.

Turning to Buffy, Xander sighed. "Well, it looks like I'm going shopping
after we've saved the world again. Wanna come? You know, since girls know
about clothes and stuff..."

The blonde Slayer just gave him a look and arched her brow. "And the reason
you're helping Spike is...?"

Xander thought about it for a second, then shrugged. "I don't know. Besides,
you're not exactly the one to talk, here, Ms.
Fall-In-Love-With-A-Bloodsucker-Who-Tortured-Us-All-For-Months!"

Buffy gasped and jumped back, pointing at Xander. "Oh my God!"

"What?" the brunette asked, confused.

"You're in love with Spike!" the Slayer exclaimed, shock on her face and in
her voice.

"What???" Xander asked in a very unmanly, high-pitched squeal. "Am not!"

"Yes, you are!" Buffy insisted! "You are semi-gay and falling in love with
Spike and lusting after him! Why else would you bring up me and Angel???"

That remark had Xander shut up, and he remained silent for a long while,
just looking at Buffy, his face not revealing any emotions at all. She had a
point, he thought to himself. But on the other hand, why would he fall in
love with Spike? The blonde vampire was annoying as hell, threatened him on
his life every other minute, mocked him repeatedly over his 'based-on-sex'
relationship with Anya and had made it a hobby to make Xander's life as much
of a living hell as he could.

It didn't matter how handsome the peroxide-blonde was, he was just too
annoying for Xander to even like! He wasn't cute enough for Xander to want
to do things with him that didn't involve clothes, like lick up his hard
cock or kiss those highly kissable lips or trace down his spine to that firm
ass or-

"Gyah!" Xander said with a shudder, interrupting his own thoughts as they
took a bad turn.

"A ha!" Buffy said, pointing at Xander again. "I knew it! What I said made
you have NC-17 rated thoughts about Spike, didn't it?! I knew it, you are
totally falling!"

Xander scowled at her, then headed for the door, placing the bottle on the
washer as he passed it. "Okay, so maybe I have a *small* case of the lusties
for Spike," he said, holding open the door so Buffy could pass through it
first. "But that doesn't mean that I'm 'semi-gay' or falling for him!
Because that would be too disgusting for me to even *consider.* Besides,
don't tell me you never thought about doin' the horizontal with Faith!"

To that, Buffy only scowled at Xander as she passed him, and the two left
the basement in silence.

*****

"Xander?"

Xander turned his head away from the TV as the peroxide-blonde on his bed
started to wake up. "Oh, look who's awake." When Spike only groaned, Xander
arched a brow and grinned a little. "Hungover?"

Spike slowly sat up, then rubbed his head with one hand, before yawning and
facing Xander. "Surprisingly not as much as I'd expected," he said, sounding
amazingly sober for someone who'd managed to drink two bottles of 60% vodka
the night before. "Usually it takes more than five bottles before it starts
to hurt badly," he explained.

"Oooo-kay," Xander said, before gesturing to the washer. "I got you some new
clothes."

"You did?" Spike asked, surprised. His eyes moving to where Xander was
pointing, he found two pair of black jeans and five black t-shirts sitting
on top of the washer. "You did!"

"Yeah, I did," Xander said. "And I sincerely hope you'll thank me thoroughly
for this, because the jeans were *not* cheap."

Getting out of Xander's bed, Spike walked over to the washer and looked over
the clothes, a grin on his face. "Yeah, I owe you one, mate! These looks
great!"

Uncaring of Xander's sensibilities, the vampire immediately stripped out of
Xander's shorts and Hawaii shirt, leaving him only in a pair of black cotton
boxers. The brunette couldn't seem to tear his gaze away from the pale back
and the firm ass Spike was showing off, and when the blonde bent over to put
the Hawaii shirt and the shorts into the washer, Xander swallowed audible.

"Enjoying the view, pet?"

Startled when Spike suddenly spoke, Xander made a half-choked sound and
stammered out some incoherent vowel sounds, before he blushed furiously and
ducked his head.

Turning around, Spike let his new clothes be and instead wandered over to
Xander, crouching down by the chair. Xander looked away, embarrassed that
the vampire had caught him oogling and practically drooling all over the
chair.

"So, you're semi-gay and have NC-17 rated thoughts about me, huh?" Spike
asked, an amused glimmer in his eyes.

Xander's head snapped around and he scowled at the blonde. "It's not nice to
fake sleep, you know!" he scolded, anger added to his embarrassment.

Spike didn't reply, he just chuckled, before he stood up. Lifting one leg
and swinging it over Xander's chair he effectively straddled the teen.
Xander swallowed heavily and couldn't help but glance down at the vampire's
crotch. His eyes widened when he saw the very obvious bulge there, growing
under his gaze.

"You know, you're probably right," Spike said, a thoughtful look on his
face. "I probably should thank you for buying me new clothes."

Then he went and kissed Xander.

Xander's grip on the arms of the chair tightened as cool lips covered his
own, a tongue nudging them apart. Before he really knew what was happening,
he was responding to Spike's kiss, their tongues meeting and dancing
together in a sensual dance.

When Spike finally pulled back, he chuckled at the small whimper Xander
made, before he winked at the boy.

"Was that thank enough for ya? Or would you like something more?"

Xander opened his mouth to speak, but for some reason no sound came out. He
tried again, but still found himself speechless. Finally, a small squeak
made its way out of his throat and his face reddened again.

Chuckling again, Spike let his hands wander down to slide up under the
brunette's shirt.
"Something more it is, then," he said, before capturing Xander's mouth
again. This time, they only broke the kiss briefly as Xander's t-shirt was
lifted and pulled over his head.

When the brunette tensed slightly beneath Spike, the blonde vampire kneaded
the muscles in the human's shoulders firmly, easing the tension away, bit by
bit. Spike smiled into the kiss as he felt the tension slowly leave Xander's
body. He may be a sadistic bastard who enjoyed a good spot of violence even
more than Angelus did, but he was a very considerate lover. In his
experience, he enjoyed sex even more when his partner enjoyed it as well.

When he felt Xander relax completely, Spike carefully broke the kiss and let
his hands trail down the brunette's body until their reached the blue jeans
hiding his obviously rock hard erection. Letting his blue eyes stare deeply
into Xander's, Spike never broke eye contact as he slowly undid the
fastening of the boy's jeans.

When the vampire reached into Xander's jeans an immediately came in contact
with flesh, a corner of his mouth tilted up and he tsked at the human. "No
underwear, Xander? I didn't figure you for the type."

"Nobody ever does," Xander muttered as a flush crept up over his cheeks.
Then he moaned and closed his eyes as one cold hand closed around his
erection.

"Move a little, pet," Spike told him, and Xander obeyed blindly, lifting his
hips so he could free himself completely of the jeans trapping both his hard
cock and his legs. Once the jeans were in a heap on the floor, Spike lowered
himself over Xander again, and the boy's eyes flew open when he now felt
skin touch his own, rather than the cotton boxers he had expected.

Spike was grinning like a mad as he took a hold of Xander's erection again
and started pumping it slowly. All the time, he kept his eyes on Xander's
face, watching as the brunette's eyes slowly drifted close again and his
swollen lips parted slightly as he panted audible.

"G-god, Spike..." Xander stammered, every nerve, every muscle, every hair on
his body on edge from the sensations the blonde vampire was creating in him.
This was totally different than Anya - this was nowhere *near* Anya. Spike
was so much, much, much better!

When the cool hand left his aching cock he heard the vampire spit, he opened
his eyes just in time to see Spike bring his hand down again, this time
coating Xander's hard shaft with his spit.

Slowly raising himself up a little, Spike met Xander's eyes only a split
second before he started to sink down onto Xander's cock.

Xander's eyes could definitely not get any wider. The sensations, the
emotions, running through him was absolutely indescribable, and he could
feel Spike's flesh twitch and spasm around him as his cock slipped further
and further inside the vampire's body.

He could see a tick in Spike's cheek as the blonde clenched his jaw tightly,
he saw the strained muscles in the vampire's neck, and he immediately knew
it had to hurt. He wanted to open his mouth to speak, he wanted to ask Spike
why he hadn't prepared himself better first, he wanted to tell Spike to slow
down and not hurt himself like this - yet all he got out was some incoherent
grunts and groans.

Then, Spike suddenly relaxed, and Xander could feel two cool ass cheeks
touch his thighs and balls. Sitting perfectly still for a few seconds, Spike
finally closed his eyes, before he slowly rotated his hips a little, a low
growl escaping his throat.

Xander moaned loudly when the blonde vampire raised himself up and down on
his shaft for the first time.

Oh, yeah, much, much, *much* better than Anya.

Then, Spike started riding Xander for real, and the boy knew he had died and
gone to heaven.

There was no way *anything* on earth could feel this good, so Xander had to
have died and gone to heaven. Somewhere far away, he could hear gasps, moans
and growls, and he dimly registered that it was his own voice mingled with
Spike's that was making all the noise. The smell of sex assaulted his
nostrils over and over and he just knew he would have to sleep with his
windows open for *days* to get the smell out of the basement.

It never smelled like this when he and Anya had sex.

Every time Spike moved down on his cock, there was a small slapping noise as
skin hit skin, and the vampire mewled loudly in the back of his throat, the
sound mixing with his growls, which all in all made for a pretty interesting
combination.

"Oh fuck," Spike moaned loudly, when Xander adjusted himself just a little,
allowing him to thrust up against the vampire and penetrate deeper. The
brunette assumed he had to be doing something right, so he continued
thrusting up against Spike for his bare life.

Suddenly Spike growled loudly and Xander caught a glimpse of a
peroxide-blonde head shooting towards his throat. For a terrified second,
the human was certain he was going to die, but then another snarl brought
him out of his frightened stupor, and he realized Spike was just hiding his
face in the crook of his neck.

Then the blonde's muscles spasmed wildly around Xander's cock and Xander
felt something sticky and cool coat his stomach. Knowing that Spike had
come, Xander let himself go and soared over the edge mere seconds after the
vampire, his seed coating the blonde's inner walls.

Panting, Xander's head slumped back and Spike slowly moved just enough to
plant a soft kiss on the boy's lips through their panting. Almost
unconsciously, Xander's grip around Spike tightened as he pulled the vampire
close to his chest, both of them calming down slowly and basking in
post-orgasmic bliss.

When their breathing finally returned to normal, Xander moved his head just
enough so he could see the blonde vampire. "Wanna tell me what just
happened?"

The somewhat confused tone of the brunette's voice caused Spike to burst
into a great series of chuckles, and he slowly stood up, Xander's now soft
cock slipping out of his ass. "If you don't know what just happened,
then..." He trailed off to chuckle some more. "I fear you!"

That's when Xander noticed the blood traces on his cock, and his eyes
immediately flew to Spike's still chuckling form. "You're bleeding!" he
exclaimed, noticing a small trickle of blood on the vampire's thighs.

"I am?" Spike asked with fake curiosity. Before he had a chance to say
anything else, Xander was on his feet and kneeling behind the vampire,
carefully spreading the pale globes to expose the slightly bleeding entry
there.

"Spike!" Xander exclaimed again, crawling to his feet to find something to
wash Spike up with. "Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I knew it had to hurt,
but I had no idea-"

"Xander," Spike said softly, interrupting and walking over to the flustered
boy. "It's okay. It'll heal in a couple of hours, anyway."

"But-"

"I am a vampire," Spike stated firmly, interrupting Xander once again. "I
may be a little out of the game right now, but that doesn't make me a
bleedin' human! I'm still a vampire with fangs and freaky eyes and other
vampire stuff. I hate to tell you this, but most vampires do get their rocks
off on pain."

When Xander's eyes widened momentarily, Spike quickly lifted a finger. "Now,
before you freak out - think about it. Vampires like to fight. We like to dr
ink blood and torture people. Why wouldn't we enjoy a bit of violence when
it comes to sex as well, huh? When you think about it, it's pretty logical,
actually. So trust me, you didn't hurt me."

Xander's eyes returned to their normal shape again and he shrugged.
"Then...why?"

"I figured I owed you one since you bought me new clothes and saved me from
committing suicide," Spike replied with a lopsided grin. "After all, I do
like unlife. I just don't like the situation I'm in at the moment. Besides,
I may have had NC-17 rated thoughts about you, too, once or twice."

"Really?" Xander asked.

"Really," Spike confirmed. "Just don't tell any of this to your little
Scooby friends. They're angry enough with me as it is."

Xander grinned back and shook his head. "Oh, sure, I'd go running straight
to Buffy. 'Hi Buff, I just had the best sex *ever* with your worst enemy,
who tried to kill your ex-boyfriend and who you hate above everything on
earth.' I can see that go well."

Spike's scarred eyebrow moved a little. "The best sex *ever,* huh?"

Xander's face became bright red, and he suddenly became aware that they were
both still very much naked. Immediately he scurried over to the bed and
slipped under the covers, not really bothering to try to find his clothes
again. His jeans were still laying somewhere on the floor, and God knows
where his t-shirt had gone...

The blush staining his cheeks only grew when Spike followed him and slipped
under the covers next to him. Supporting his head on one arm, Spike looked
curiously down at Xander's face, before he lifted a finger to trace the
boy's still swollen lips.

"The best sex ever..." he said slowly, a fake frown on his face. "Hmm... I
don't know about that." The frown quickly disappeared as the blonde raised
the finger that had been tracing Xander's lips. "Not that it wasn't
mind-blowing, because it really was, but I do believe - I do *know* - that
it can be *so* much better. It can be so incredibly, fucking good that you
have no idea!"

Then his voice dropped to a seductive whisper that was so hypnotizing that
Xander just had to raise his gaze to look at him. "Can I show you?"

Xander couldn't help the smile that crept across his face. "S-sure you can,"
he said, stammering a bit before he swallowed to get rid of the
embarrassment that flooded his body. "B-but what if iit isn't... isn't
better? Wouldn't we-we-we..." He paused to take a deep breath, trying to
calm himself enough to say this.

"Wo-wouldn't we... have to try again?"

The grin that crept across Spike's face was so full of hunger and lust that
Xander practically shuddered with anticipation. "Absolutely," the vampire
agreed.

"Many times..." Xander mumbled as Spike's head came closer.

"Many, many times..." Spike said before his lips captured Xander's again.

=end=