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Arson: And Other Fun Things To Do While Dead
by Michelle


The ringing phone woke Spike. He nudged Xander but got no response. The boy was still dead asleep. The young needed sleep and his boy had been busy the night before. Spike knew he must be all tuckered out. He picked up the phone with a grin. "'Ello?"

"Spike?"

"Willow? Is that you, witch?" Spike turned to spoon his sleeping childe. He snuggled up close to Xander's back, throwing a leg over Xander's hips. "Witch? Willow? What was it you wanted?"

"Um. . .? Is Xander there?"

"Yep. 'E's right here. Sleep, though."

"It's four o'clock!"

"Really? You don't say? Well I blame myself for these late hours the boy has been keeping, I do. I've turned him into a regular night-owl, I have."

"Where have you two been? I've been trying to call for days! Have you done something to him?"

"OOO. . . That's a loaded question, that is, witch. I've done all sorts of nasty things to him. Want a list?" Spike began to lick at Xander's shoulder.

"I want to talk to Xander, Spike." Willow's voice was firm. Spike grinned.

"Witch, I'm flattered that you think I could 'ave hurt the boy in my condition, but I assure you 'es just sleeping." Spike moved the mouthpiece away and spat in his hand. He rubbed his hand over the head of his cock and placed it between the sleeping Xander's ass cheeks.

"What say the three of us have dinner?" He pushed his cock forward, holding back his groan of pleasure once he was inside Xander's tightness.

"Dinner? You, me and Xander?"

Spike thrust forward. "Uh huh. . . Yes! I mean, wouldn't that be nice? You'd like that wouldn't you, witch? Make sure I haven't hurt your friend?" Spike bit back another groan when Xander instinctively pushed back against him. "Ah, pet."

"What?"

"Ah, yes, I mean yes, dinner. Why don't we pick you up? Or we could meet somewhere?" Spike thrust forward as Xander pushed back. "Um. ..we'll-shit!-I mean, we'll go out-talk. I'd like to know my Xanpet's best friend better."

"Who *is* this?!"

"Very funny, witch, but I'm tired too, and I wanna sleep some more. We could meet at that ice cream shop Xander likes so much, eh? And your slayer-bitch friend is *not* invited! I'll put up with *you* for Xander, but not that bitch, got it?" Spike thrust in deep and didn't pull back.

"Witch? Hear me? *No* slayer. I wanna have a *nice* evening."

"Okay. . . I won't tell Buffy. I'll be there around eight. To see *Xander*."

"Love ya too, witch." Spike let the phone fall and grabbed Xander's shoulders. He rolled the boy over and began pounding into him. He increased the speed of his thrusts when Xander woke and came up on hands and knees, thrusting his ass up. Spike sank his fangs into the back of Xander's neck as he grabbed his childe's cock and began to pump it in time with his thrusts. Xander came across his hand at the same time Spike spilled himself into the boy's tight depths. Xander collapsed, Spike on top of him. Spike began to lick and suckle at the still weeping wound on Xander's neck. He moved his mouth to Xander's ear.

"That was the witch."

"Huh?"

"Your witch. Willow. She wants to meet. Go out to dinner with us."

Xander moved quickly. He slid from beneath Spike and rolled over to land on top of the older vampire before Spike knew what was happening. Spike grinned. Yes. His Xander was turning out better than he had hoped.

"Quick moves, pet." Spike told him, looking up at Xander.

"Yeah. Seems so." Xander ran his tongue across Spike's lips. Just to taste. He drew back when Spike moved to kiss him. "Why are we meeting Willow?"

"'Cause we're, the three of us, going out to dinner."

"Why? Are we going to eat her?"

Spike snickered. "Do you want to, pet?"

Xander thought about it. "I didn't. I don't know. Should I want to? Should I want to kill everyone?"

"You seem to be well in control of your demon, pet. It tells you. Or you tell it. What does it *feel* like?"

"It feels like-." Xander looked down at Spike. He vamped out and smiled at Spike, showing off pretty new fangs. "It feels like it wants Sire-blood."

Spike chuckled. "Does it?"

"Yes. It really does. That's all it's saying now. Sire-blood. Sire-blood. Sire-blood. Do you hear it?" Xander lowered his head to lick at Spike's shoulder, his neck. "Do you hear it?" Xander asked against Spike's neck, rubbing his lips and tongue over Spike's jugular.

"Um." Spike titled his head back, giving Xander access. "Drink, pet."

Xander did, sinking his fangs in smoothly and supping leisurely at the elixir that was his Sire's blood. He pulled away after a moment. He smiled. "It likes that. *I* like that."

"It would seem it's well behaved. As are you."

"Is that good?"

"It's *you*, pet. *That's* good." Spike lifted his head to kiss Xander's lips. He pushed at his shoulders. "Get up. We have to burn this place down and go meet your witch at the ice cream shop."

Xander rolled off of Spike and on to his back. "Burn the place?"

Spike stood and stretched. "Yep. Burn. Don't you smell the stench of death? Won't be long before the neighbors start to smell it. I've a nice set up in mind. Yer dad falls asleep in his chair with a drink and a fag; yer mum rushes down the stairs when she smells smoke-we'll remove the batteries in the smoke detectors-"

"They've been dead for the last year or so."

"Good, then. She rushes down, trips and falls, breaking her neck, poor dear. Your dad is dead drunk; the fire spreads-boo hoo, everyone islost save for sweet Xander. *He* went out to dinner with is witch-friend. All nice and tidy." Spike turned towards Xander with a grin. "Good plan, eh?" Spike slapped his hands together. "God but I've missed this stuff! Get up, childe! We've mayhem to perpetrate! Arson! Dead bodies to arrange! And witches to do with what we please. Fun to be had!"

**********************************************************

"No! No! Come *on* pet! Why would she fall with her head at *that* angle?!"

Spike let Xander's dead mother's feet fall and placed his hands on his hips, huffing. Xander let her head drop and grinned. "Okay, O great Martha Stewart of arraigning the dead! How *would* her head have fallen?"

Spike snarled at his childe, showing fangs. "I'm doing this for you, pet! If we make it seem like a legitimate fire, *you* wont be a suspect! I know the fire marshal of good ole' Sunnydale lets lots of stuff slide, but come *on* lets at least put on a pretty show! Something *some* what believable! Ya know, so your slayer-bitch friend won't suspect you when we disappear. Even though, I'd rather just fucking kill the bitch before we go!"

"She always beats you, Spike. What if she *kills* you?" Xander reasoned, repositioning his dead mother's head on the stair. He looked up at Spike for approval. "How's that? Good?"

"Throw that in my face!"

Xander looked at Spike, confused. "Huh?"

"'She always beats you, Spike'! You *said* that you bloody git!"

"I did, didn't I? I suck. I'm awful. I don't want you to be killed by the slayer. I'm an ass. Stake me." Xander moved his mother's head a bit more to the left.

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut yer gob!"

"Kay." Xander grinned at his Sire. He knew Spike wasn't really mad at him. Not with that tone. He bent down and kissed his mother's lips. He looked at his Sire again, smiling. "She's so *pretty* dead. She's never been so pretty."

Spike laughed. He couldn't help it. "On to yer, dad, then, pet. Let 's put what's left o' him in his chair."

******************************************************

"Should we stuff his insides back inside him?"

"What? Hell no! You did such a good job on 'em, I'd hate to have to undo your masterpiece, pet."

Xander basked in his Sire's approval.

Spike stuck his lit fag in the man's smashed mouth and angled it down, towards the dead man's chest. "A little accelerate and it'll be like he burned up before the fire started to spread. Like a spontaneous combustion thing. You American's are always happy to believe that sod."

Xander gave Spike a quick look. "What do you mean? Are you saying there is no spontaneous combustion?"

Spike laughed out loud. "Hon! While I fully admit to and admire the fact that the human body is a mysterious and miraculous machine, it does *not* burst into flames without being lit. Does yer mum have any fingernail polish remover around? That'll light this bugger up!"

"Yeah." Xander went to retrieve it. "And dad has plenty of gas stored in the garage." He called out. "Too close to the water heater." He added with a grin as he headed towards his parent's room.

"Well, goody." Spike muttered, snatching the fag from the dead man's lips and taking a drag. He replaced it with a smile. "Bad form, man. Safety first after all." He admonished the dead man.

*********************************************************

"Got any marshmallows, Xan?" Spike asked, pouring nail polish remover over Xander's dead father.

Xander grinned. "You know, I think we do." Xander headed to the kitchen to check. "Hold the fire, Spikelove." Spike grinned and went to the fireplace grabbing a box of matches.

"Look!" Xander held a bag over his head in triumph. "Marshmallows! Shall we roast?"

Spike walked back to the make shift funeral pyre. He smiled at Xander and struck a match, tossing it on the boy's dead father. The dead man lit up with a WOMPH and settled down to a slow burn. Spike reached in his boot and pulled out Carla's switchblade. He opened it and snagged a fluffy piece of sugar, holding it over the fire. When it caught on fire he pulled it away from the flame and blew it out, holding it out for Xander.

"Here ya, go, luv. 'Ave a snack." Xander leaned down and closed his mouth over the melted marshmallow, wrapping his lips over the knife and pulling back, licking the blade clean. He smacked his lips and smiled at his Sire. "Daddilicious."

Spike laughed and handed Xander the knife. "Melt one for me, pet, while I go fetch some 'o that gas. We need to light up the house andyer mum all nice and proper."

"'Kay. Hurry back." Xander told him as he speared a marshmallow with the switchblade and began to roast it over the burning corpse of his father.

**************************************************

"So. Are we gonna eat Willow?" Xander asked as he and Spike walked away from the flaming ruin of the boy's home.

Spike shrugged his leather-clad shoulders. "I told ya before I killed you pet, I'd turn her and let you 'ave 'er if you wanted to keep 'er." Spike paused to light a cigarette. He drew in deep, filling his dead lungs with the acrid smoke. He smiled at Xander before releasing the smoke. "You feeling hungry or friendly?"

Xander looked around the quiet street and thought about it as the pair walked towards the center of town. Towards Willow. He was hungry. He felt no particular urge for friends. He let his head drop down, watching the sidewalk as they continued on their way. Xander's head shot up when he smelt the boy. *Smelt* him. Heard his heartbeat. He looked up in time to see a teen on a skateboard heading straight at them.

The teen smirked, not giving way. Xander reached out and snatched the boy by the neck and pulled him behind a bush, biting down and draining his life away in a few fast and quick gulps. He let the body fall and wiped his bloody lips on his sleeve, coming out from behind the bush and walking along side Spike as if nothing had happened. And nothing had, really. Just eating.

Spike held back his cheer. God, but his boy was a natural! He wrapped his arm around the younger vampire's waist and kept walking. "Xan?"

"Hum?"

"Still hungry?"

"Naw. That kid was good. That kid-" Xander stopped and looked back over his shoulder making sure you couldn't see anything sticking out from the bushes. "Was good. I'm good."

Spike laughed out loud. His boy was a treasure. Who would have thought? He had only hoped.

Xander placed an arm across Spike's shoulders. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothin, luv. Just having a laugh. Let's go get you an ice cream, eh?"

Xander hugged his Sire closer. "Yes. Let's go do that."

tbc.