Just Do It 
by Nancy 

April 25, 1:00 A.M. 

"Just do it already, will you? Bloody ponce!" 

Spike looked over his shoulder with utter confusion. He'd know the voice 
anywhere, seeing as it was his. 
"What the.listen here, you, you, whatever you are. There'll be non of that. 
And what the fuck are you? Can't be me? I think I'd bloody well know, so. 
Where'd you come from? There was no one here." Spike rambled, while he 
stumbled backward away from what could only be a hallucination. 

The thing looked like the Big Bad, himself. Oh, there were differences. Like 
say for instance, he wouldn't be caught alive in that shirt. Looked like 
something that belonged to the Whelp. Just the thought caused pain to ripple 
from his unbeating heart. Course, if it was a hallucination, just what did 
it say about him that he's seeing himself in Xanders clothing. 

Once his back hit the wall, he just slid down, hitting his ass on the stone 
floor with a thump he didn't feel. Everything at the moment was starting to 
gray out and seemed to fragment around his eyes and ears. There had been too 
many emotional ups and downs in the last couple of days to even contemplate. 

"I must be going daft as Dru," he muttered to himself. 

The other Spike gave him a smirk before squatting down in front of the 
gibbering vamp. 

"Your not daft, ya poor bugger. Just need to think about what you're doing 
before jumpin' in and screwin' up what's left of our, admittedly pathetic 
unlife. I admit thinking's not a particularly strong point for us but." 
Sigh. 

Sitting, numb butt and staring dumbly at his own image, Spike lost it. 
Alternating between crying and laughing, he just looked like a teary, 
hiccuping, completely miserable wreck. 

*********** 
April 23, 11:59 P.M. 

"'Ello, pet. Mind telling me what you're doing on my doorstep?" Spike 
sauntered passed the obviously inebriated Scooby and into his crypt. On his 
way by, he grabbed a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade from the case the whelp 
was leaning against, noting the dozen or so empties. 

"Avin' a party, luv? Or were you planning on being a nice warm din-din for 
some freshly made minion?" 

"Bufffffffster alr'dy busted.dusted 'em. Thanx. What're you doin' here?" 
Xander leaned back to peer at Spike through glazed, bloodshot eyes. 
Unfortunately, he didn't stop leaning and would have slammed his head 
against the stone door if Spike hadn't grabbed the nearest available hand 
and yanked. 

"Your visitin' me, pet," Spike said as he slung the wobbly mans arm around 
his shoulder and hauled him to his feet. Once he got Xander plopped onto his 
chair, he went back to retrieve the rest of the alcohol and shut the door. 

*********** 
Most of the drinks went by while Spike tried to grasp what the boy was 
trying to say. He knew the boy wouldn't be spilling his guts this way if it 
weren't for the half-case he'd consumed. With all the mumbling and talking 
he was doing, Xander didn't seem to notice that he'd had the same drink in 
his hand since entering the crypt over two hours ago. He either didn't seem 
to remember why he was here or didn't deem it worth explaining. He wasn't 
too shy about what had happened before coming though. 

"They all just blew it off!" Xander bellowed loud enough .okay maybe not 
loud enough to wake the dead. 

Well, well, well. It appears the Scooby's have screwed up again. Not that it 
's really a surprise. Ever since the ex-demon-bitch hooked up with Binty's 
ex, they'd been treating the most devoted of them like white trash. 

"I mean, it's not like I expected a clown or a party, but I'm finally legal 
and they're too busy to join me for a drink! Jeeze!" Xander hung his head. 
"Why do I even hang around here? I know they blame me 'cause I couldn't keep 

Anya happy, but they don't know what it was like. I thought she'd be into 
it, too. She was exciting enough in the sac, but you try to throw in a 
little role-playing and toys and suddenly you're the perv!" 

"It's not like she wouldn't know that everyone's got those leanings. She 
herself had a few "spell casting" sessions with Wills and Tara. I mean, I'd 
given her permission as long as she told me about it afterwards. It never 
seemed to bother them that she was supposed to be taken. So, yeah, maybe I 
mention my friends name a few times. I didn't say I wanted to have sex with 
him. I didn't." He looked to Spike for confirmation and got a slow nod. 

Spike tried not to look like he was too interested. Truth was, he'd go for a 
little play and toys if the boy, no, man asked. In a silent heartbeat. Ever 
since the "slayer" walked away, with his feelings laid bare, he'd taken more 
notice of the ones he'd ignored before. 

Xander was the only one who he could see as worth spending his time on. The 
poor guy was just oblivious enough to his own attraction that he didn't 
notice the longing Spike had known was showing on his face from time to 
time. Sometimes it was good that the whole lot of 'em were so self-absorbed. 
At least they wouldn't notice either. 

Spike watched Xander peel the black and yellow label off the bottle. He 
seemed completely unaware of who he was speaking to. "He's, like, the only 
guy I hang out with, aside from the G-Man and that's just ewww, so who else 
am I supposed to talk about." 

Spike tried to think of any men that Xander hung out with, but was coming up 
blank. Unless, of course, he counted himself. 

"She gets so jealous if I talk about the girls and now the boys too I guess. 
I just wanted to know what it was like, ya know? I've tried to do it myself, 
and yes the prostate is a wonderful thing, I just figured turnabout is fair 
play. I had to wear that soft sweater and perfume those couple of times just 
so she could experience. Course, that was before she'd tried the real 
thing." 

Xander stopped here and took a long pull on his bottle, only to spew the 
foul, warm drink across the room. The range he achieved was truly amazing 
and no one was more surprised than a now wet Spike. 

"Oh, god! Um, shit. I'm sorry. Let me help you with that." Xander insisted 
while melting off the chair and crawling his way to the stunned vampire 
sitting on the floor. 

In his drunken cluelessness, Xander knocked Spike onto his back while 
trying, and actually succeeding, to pull his arms out of the duster. He 
climbed up the body of the now prone man. Next he pulled up the T-shirt, 
only to stop with it under Spikes arm-pits. 

In awe, he slowly traced the center of Spikes chest with his fingernail 
while his tongue snaked out to lick his upper lip. Spike watched Xanders 
chest rise and fall with increasing speed as his eyes dilated, completely 
fascinated. He lay there, unmoving as the warm hands spread across his tits, 
ending with a sharp pinch to his left nipple. 

A slow trickle of sweat moved down Xanders temple while the blush that had 
started with the alcohol began to spread down his neck. With a groan, Spike 
lifted his trembling hands under Xanders arms to his shoulders and pulled 
the warm body flush against his own. The hands then slid down to hold their 
hips together while his tongue snaked out to lick the salty moisture then 
followed a trail to the corner of the oh-so-soft-and-tempting lips. 

Spike felt a pain blossom in his chest when he felt Xander freeze. Then he 
was being clutched while the mouth he'd been admiring latched onto his own. 
He tentatively pushed his hips up only to be thrust back to the floor. 

Since Xander seemed past the point of doing it, Spike pushed his hands 
between their bodies to get at the closings on both of their pants. Once 
they were undone, he pushed both down just enough to free the two erections. 
The rest would come later, but for now they were too close to the edge. 

With a last memory of what Xander had been talking about, Spike quickly 
sucked two fingers into his mouth to wet them. The then reached down the 
back of Xanders pants to circle his anus before carefully pushing first one, 
then the second in. 

Xander arched his back hard, while pushing onto the hand inside him. Spike 
scissored his fingers looking for the gland he knew to be there. There was 
no question when he found the right spot. The muscle around his fingers 
tightened and the thrusting moved to almost superhuman speed. 

Within two minutes, Xander came on Spike. The hot pulses across his cock 
were almost enough. With a growl, Spike flipped them over so Xander was on 
his back on the duster and gave himself over to the desperation. With three 
hard thrusts, he bit through his own arm as his cum shot out onto the sated 
man. 

*********** 
When Spike woke the next morning, it was to find himself on the floor of his 
crypt covered in semen. The smile that spread on his lips only faltered when 
he realized he was alone. From the feel of it, Xander had left within the 
last ten minutes. 

He spent the day pacing the floor, hating the fact that he was effectively 
imprisoned until the sun set. If he knew for sure where the whelp.Xander.his 
lover (that thought gave him pause) was, he might just brave it. Since he 
didn't want to ruin what just might be the beginning of a beautiful 
relationship by becoming one with the dust bunnies, the pacing would have to 
be it for action. That didn't stop him from planning, though. 

Once the sun only had about an hour left, he started getting dressed. First 
thing was to take out one of the backup jackets, one of the short ones. The 
duster'd have to go in for a cleaning. Then he dug around until he found the 
tightest pair of black jeans that he could get on. Without anything 
underneath them, they fit right into the crack of his ass, which was being 
showcased by the jacket. Next he left off the t in favor of wearing a red 
button down that was silky on the outside, but with a bit of texture on the 
inside. The better to sensitize those nipples. Lastly, he put on his socks 
and boots before buttoning up the jeans. 

If he could only see in a mirror. Ah, well. Off to find loverboy. 

*********** 
First place he went was the apartment Xander'd gotten for Anya. He wasn't 
there and from the feel of things, hadn't been for at least a few hours. 

Next place he tried was the witches. They'd not seen him today, nor did they 
have plans to. Just too busy, you understand. The growl that produced met 
with a curious look but not much else. 

He wasn't sure of Xander having any friends, other than the slayer and crew. 
So, with mounting frustration, he headed to the watchers place. Him and 
Boffy were busy going at it in the danger room, as Xander called it. The 
poor bloke looked like he'd seen the wrong end of Magneto a few too many 
times. Her highness was still going at him, though. Like she couldn't see 
past the blonde on her head. Oh, well. Not his problem. 

They both gave him different versions of the same impatient glare he'd 
gotten a million times before when asked about Xander. Spike stormed out. He 
slammed the door so hard a crystal ball fell off the shelf. 

"No, Xander hasn't been here. No, we don't know where he is. Oooh, watch me, 
Giles. Look at me being all perky and perfect while I threaten Spike with my 
wooden phallic symbol!" Spike mimed. "Bet she uses that thing for more than 
staking vamps. Airhead needs to find a new hobby." 

Not watching where he was going, Spike continued to fume. This wasn't 
getting him any closer to.What was it he'd called himself? A nummy treat? 
Well, didn't get much chance to taste him. Can't wait to find him now. 

With that, Spike took notice of his surroundings. He was about two blocks 
from the Bronze. Not a bad spot to think. He would have to steer clear of 
the onions if there were hopes of kissing, licking, nibbling, 
sucking.Anywho, just might think of where he is. 

He turned the corner that would lead him to the alley behind the club. 

At first, he just assumed it was because he had Xander and sex on the brain. 
That could be the only reason why he saw the object of his affections being 
pinned to the brick wall by some beefy stud. There's no other explanation 
for why the man before him was arching his back in a familiar way. Xander 
couldn't possibly be grinding his ass into the other mans crotch, while 
moaning in a way that had become familiar so quickly. 

The roar of rage that echoed down the alley was nothing compared to the 
girly scream the big stud gave out when he got a look at the vampires 
gameface. Spike was cursing a blue streak by the time he reached his love. 
Xander stayed facing the wall and had his head down on his crossed arms. 

The man with the undoubtedly shriveled dick was beating a hasty retreat 
while he left his fucktoy to the monster. 

"Go away, Spike." Xander spoke softly into his forearm. 

"Xan.luv. I, I." Well, there really wasn't much more to say, now was there. 
He turned with what he hoped was at least the shreds of his dignity intact 
and walked away from the man he'd come to love. 

Once he reached the end of the alleyway, he broke into a sprint, followed by 
a full run. He made it back to the crypt, grabbed a bottle of Stoli and the 
duster and headed for somewhere he could get blindingly drunk to wait for 
the sun. 

The first place to come to mind was the patio outside Angel's mansion, so 
that's where he'd gone. He figured it would be secluded and it also faced 
the sunrise. 

*********** 
He was right on both accounts, but after drinking the entire bottle, he'd 
started to wonder if waiting for the sunrise would be the best way to go. 
Maybe he was losing his nerve or maybe he just wanted some dignity. 

Dying in battle would be the best way. Maybe then, no one would know it was 
over some boy. Then again, isn't the purpose of suicide to make others 
miserable for what they'd done or didn't do? 

This was all starting to get complicated before Mr. Clone had shown up. 
Might as well find out what the kook is yammering about. He'd started going 
on about "Oh poor me" some minutes ago. Spike was only catching phrases at 
this point. 

*********** 
".fucker just ran. Left 'im there in that position when he knew I was there 
to eat 'em! Wanted to rip the mans puny dick off and feed it to 'imself, I 
did! Bloody stupid chip. Wish I'd 'ad more brains, though. Or more Stoli. If 
I'd just 'ad the guts to stay in the sun instead of running, I never would 
'ave known. Now would I?" 

The pain in CloneSpikes voice drew the real Spike out of his haze. "What 
happened, mate?" was asked quietly. 

"Wasn't there, now was I? I was here. Drinkin' away my sorrows 
while.Xander.went to the crypt. He never saw them coming. Bunch of minions 
come to take me out. Thought I was an embarrassment. Could 'ave taken 'em on 
myself, but not him. Not alone and upset. I was all my fault, you see. So if 
you'd just get it over with, we won't have to spend the next 14 years 
looking for a way to end the curse put on us by the witches." 

At Spikes derisive snort he continued. "When Buffy had to fight Xander 
herself, he taunted her with why he'd been turned. Seems he still smelled of 
us. They came around just before dawn and did it in my own crypt. Figured, 
drive me to stake myself or walk into the sun." 

"The girls had to go through his things to try and find him. Guess he kept a 
journal. Said some stuff in there 'bout why the ex-demon-bitch took up with 
soldier-boy. Appears he had a thing for us. Stupid really. All that time and 
he felt the same. She didn't take too well to it. Figured Captain America 
was too stiff to bend that way. Boy was she wrong! Not two years later, she 
comes stormin' back. She's lookin' for a spell 'cause she found 'im with 
half the men under him...ah...under him." 

"Anyway, when the witches figured it out, they did some tracking spell to 
find me. Caught up to me in a motel 'bout five miles out of town. Hadn't had 
blood for more 'n a week. Figured the out best way to go. Starvation. It's 
slow and painful. Just what I deserved. They didn't want another one of 'the 
gang' on their conscience so they worked their mojo. Changed the chip so now 
it zaps me into unconsciousness if I try to off myself." 

"Wait!" the not so drunk Spike yelled. The brain was starting to catch up. 
"Did the witches screw with your brains? It's only half past one! He's not 
dead yet! Fuck" 

*********** 
As Spike ran with all the speed his demon would give, the older Spike turned 
to the man, his true love, standing in the doorway to the mansion. 

"See love. Told you I would fall for it."