Evil Xan
by Rachael 

"What the hell is wrong with you tonight? Since when can't get you get it 
up?" 

"I'm sorry. I don't know." 

Disbelieving. "You don't know." 

"I-I just wanted...fuck it." 

"What? You just wanted what? Spit it the hell out." 

"To know why I can't be enough for you." 

"Why? You have the fucking nerve to ask why? You?" 

Nod. 

"Because there were never any promises made. I never lied to you. I don't 
know. Because it feels good. Because I like the anonymity of it. Because 
I don't need the complications, the fucking hassle. Why can't you 
understand that?" 

"Would you....think about stopping?" 

"Stopping what, exactly?" 

"You know very well what. Fucking everything that moves. If I asked, 
hypothetically, would you consider just making love with me? No one else?" 

Amused grin. "Making love? Is that what you're calling it now?" Dancer's 
roll of the hips. "Let's make with the love, bayyybeee." 

Cajoling, slightly defeated. "YES." 

Grin recedes. Panicked and slightly sad gaze. "I can't. And for that I'm 
truly, honestly sorry." 

Again. "Why can't I be enough for you?" 

"I just, I'm not ready for that level of commitment yet. I don't understand 
why you are? The legendary Spike, for god's sake." 

"Couldn't I just be William right now?" 

"Call yourself whatever the hell you want. Makes no difference. It won't 
change anything. It's just a name." 

"Do you really believe that?" 

"Hello. Yes. You're the same person no matter what you call yourself." 

"Maybe you're right. This was a stupid idea. Let's make with the fucking." 
Brave smile, slightly wobbly. "I don't know what got into me for a 
second." 

"Me either, baby, but you were scaring the hell out of me. You over it 
now?" 

"Yes."