Death by Meth
by Scorpio
Hi. My name is Xan. ::waves to crowd::
I'm the Childe of Spike and one of five Ganderchilder of Angelus. Um,
did I mention that I'm a vampire? ::insincere look of innocence::
No?... ::blinks & grins::
Oh, well... I am. A vampire that is. See, that's what the Childe with
an E at the end means. It means I'm a demon-spawned blood-sucking
vampire. Spike's my Sire. He's who turned me into a vampire. Angelus
is *his* Sire... sorta.
What? ::grin melts into confused frown::
Oh. Um... that's a whole *big* mess that Drusilla caused. ::waves
arms in air:: *Not* that I have *any*thing against Dru. I don't. I
think she's *great* in a dizzy crazy fun loving and blood coated kind
of way. But... she's... um, easily distracted. She started to turn my
Sire and then... um... she *claims* she got a vision from the stars
and Angel *insists* she got the hiccups. So, *he* finished what *she*
started. I wasn't there, and I don't really care, so... ::shrugs::
Anyhoo... Spike, who the Watcher Counsel refers to in their big dusty
books as William the Bloody, Sired me because I overdosed on
Methamphetamines.
::giggles wickedly:: Didn't think I'd get this rambling babble-fest
on topic, did'ja?
As I was saying before I interrupted myself, I died from an overdose
of meth at the ripe old age of nineteen and a half years old. Of
course, since I happened to be... uh, ::crooks eyebrow into an unsure
& questioning look:: *friends* with a Master Vampire who happened to
find me just as my heart was giving up the ghost, I was turned into a
*Childe*... not a minion, *thank* you very much. ::smirks::
The funny thing is... Okay, not funny 'ha-ha', but funny 'oh crap'
thing is, being undead does *not* stop you from having an addiction.
I mean, look at Spike. *He* smokes cigarettes like they're going out
of style. ::screws up face in thought:: Which I guess they are in a
way, but that's beside the point.
::takes deep breath::
The *point* is that I'm *still* addicted to the shit!
What? ::flashes yellow eyed glare at being interrupted::
Oh! ::face goes blank as mind travels into past::
Well, I guess it first started back in High School. See, we all went
on this field trip to the Zoo. Me, being me, I ended up getting
possessed by the spirit of a wild hyena. It was a pretty cool
experience, now that I think about it, but at the time it *really*
messed me up. I was *big time* freaked out! ::throws arms wide to
*show* just how much he was freaked::
See, I ate a pig raw and that left me thinking *eww* *gross*!
::makes disgusted face complete with tongue stuck out of mouth::
The thing was... this hyena spirit *also* gave me super enhanced
senses, speed, endurance, courage and a *totally* bad ass, take no
prisoners kind of attitude. And once the Slayer's Watcher exorcised
the spirit, that stuff was... *gone*. Not the *memory* of being able
to do that cool stuff, just the *ability*! ::frowns::
I was sunk into a pretty deep depression after that. I mean, I went
from being Leader of the Pack to the Zeppo *poof* just like
that. ::snaps fingers::
It was hard *enough* to be friends with the Slayer before, but
*after*... it was even worse. ::dark eyes get big and shiny:: It
seemed like I couldn't do *anything* right. Always Mr Mess-up-the-
plan-and-get-captured Guy. That was me.
Then, this guy at school. Actually, he was a friend of a friend and
they both played in the same band. ::rolls eyes and shrugs::
Anyhoo... *he* turned me onto some Meth.
It was *wild*! ::gestures with arms waving wildly in air::
I had *so* much energy and endurance and I felt like I could take on
the Hellmouth by myself. ::bounces on balls of feet:: I was strong
and fast and I could patrol *all* night. Helped with the studying and
stuff too. No more Mr. Fall-asleep-in-class Guy for me. ::pokes chest
with thumb::
And for the next couple of months everything was great. My grades
improved. ::ticks items off on fingers:: My patrolling time almost
doubled. My ability to come out of fights less injured and with more
energy increased. What's more, I only used methamphetamines when *I*
wanted, or when I *knew* I'd need 'em. ::winks::
After that... it get's a little bit murky. ::frowns:: See, I started
using the meth more and more. Even when I *didn't* have to patrol or
make up time to study. It became... um... breakfast.
Everyday.
Then it was breakfast and lunch.
::sighs & shrugs:: Pretty soon, it was *all* the time, no matter
*what* I planned to do or not do. And using it didn't give me extra
energy anymore. It didn't pick me up or help me in anyway.
::eyes flash yellow & growls:: However, if I *didn't* use it,
everything was bad... so so bad. *No* energy, no stamina, no steady
nerves. Instead, I'd get the shakes, suffer *horrible* headaches and
cramping pains in my joints. I'd literally crash and burn.
It wasn't too long after *that* when I noticed that I was using more
and more every time I turned around. And this shit is *expensive* to
use in that amounts. It was killing me financially. I needed to find
a way to get more oomph for less shit. ::waves arms in air to
empathize point::
That's when I started main-lining. Booting... ::sad smile:: Stupidest
thing I ever did... but at *that* time, I didn't give a shit anymore.
I just wanted the high. I *craved* it. I *needed* it. I wasn't doing
the drug, the drug was doing me.
::confused frown:: Something in my head should have *screamed* at the
wrongness of tying a rubber band around my own arm to pop up a vein.
Some little shred of *something* should have stopped me from sliding
that needled through my skin and pushing down that plunger.
But I did it. And the high? ::snarky grin:: *Incredible.*
::throws back head:: What a *fucking* rush!
And the sad part it, I didn't even *think* about getting help. Not
then. Couldn't even admit I had a problem, let alone seeing someone
about it. ::snorts::
I lived like that for almost a year. A *year*! ::gestures
emphatically with hands::
Then... I killed myself. ::ruefull grin & shakes head sadly:: Died
with a needle sticking out of my arm and a vampire's teeth in my neck
and his bloody wrist in my mouth.
::snorts & laughs:: Spike says that was the only time he's been that
wasted since he took Dru to Woodstock. ::slight smirk:: Yes... the
*original* Woodstock. Apparently they went to eat some flower
children and listen to the music. ::shrugs::
So... when I woke up all undead and vamped out, do you know what I
asked for first?
::snorts:: No, *not* blood. *Meth*!
I got stoned first, *then* I went out and hunted up a
meal. ::grimaces:: Pretty sick, huh? Wanting *drugs* over a chance to
kill.
Of course, now I have a bit of a choice. I can shoot the drugs *or* I
can go out and eat a junkie. I usually do both. ::shrugs::
But, that's beside the point.
The point *is*, I want to get clean now. I want to stop. ::gives
meaningful stare:: My *Sire* wants me clean.
I'll have the track marks for eternity. ::shrugs:: I know that. The
one's that I get *now* heal up real quick, but the ones from right
before I was turned? They're forever baby. But I can accept that.
::bounces on balls of feet and claps hands together:: So... here I
am. At a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.
::wicked smirk:: And I *promise* not to eat anyone until *after*
everyone's had their chance to get up here and talk. In fact, I won't
kill in the building at all.
Of course, once you guys hit that parking lot... ::evil wicked
chuckle:: All bets are off. You better hope you can run
fast. ::chuckles:: At least... faster than *me*.
