Evergleam
by Shadith
//God... how could I have been so stupid.//
Everything was moving like clockwork. Giles' plan was a true
masterpiece. The three of us worked well together. Should've known it
wouldn't last. Things went to shit fairly soon. In the tunnels I
could hear them fighting above us. A wail like nothing I'd ever heard
tore through the air. Somehow I knew it was Dawn. My stomach heaved
at the thought of the little girl I loved being hurt by that
creature. But there was nothing I could do. Not until the bomb was up.
Giles left us once he was sure we'd be able to find our way back. I
worked in the dark... Time seemed to freeze then speed up in fits.
One moment I'd barely started, next it seemed as if I'd been working
for hours, and the next I was done. Spike and I went running for the
surface right into... chaos.
We'd underestimated her. No, we'd underestimated the numbers she'd
gathered. It looked like thousands, must of been less either way
there wasn't even a second to take it all in, before we were swept
into it. Spike and I fought side by side until somehow we were forced
apart.
That's when it began to fall apart. Even in the frenzy, we kept an
eye out for each other. And I saw... I *saw*... It's how I know that
treacherous *bitch* did it on purpose. No accident. She fucking meant
to.
I saw the hateful murderous gleam in her eyes. I could kill her but
there's no time. She meant to keep us apart. Looks like she's
succeeded. Oh gods... I should've know... I'm sorry I couldn't
protect you...
//I should have known.//
Buffy can't let go. Could never accept the flaws she thought she saw
in others. Never mind the landfill of faults she has. No... God
forbid she be anything less than perfect. Or so help whoever
questioned her. And it's as much my fault as hers. Her watcher.. her
guardian... I knew but I never stepped in. Thinking... hoping...
she'd outgrow it. Not wanting to play favorites...
I should never have let it get this far then maybe this wouldn't be
happening now. But I didn't and even now when I see clearly, I am at
fault. I knew she wasn't taking it well, but I told myself she'd
learn to accept it... him. I was fooling myself. Spoiled, self-
righteous bitch... And what can be said? She was doing her *job*...
staking a vampire. Her duty. I *know* what she did... I saw her...
//Bloody 'ell. If I could I'd rip that Bitch's throat out.//
I knew slutty wasn't going to let it go. I could feel the murderous
glances she shot us. You'd think she'd be more concerned about the
fact that her ex had been fucking her best-friend, and never saw fit
to tell her. But... N-o-o-o... The souled bastard can do no wrong. So
she focuses her rage on us in general an' me in fuckin' particular.
Xan and I came rushing up from the tunnels. Before I know it we're
almost on opposite sides of the room. I couldn't help grinning at my
pet. Soaked in blood he swung the ax he'd picked up like he'd done it
all 'is life.
Argggh! I should 'ave killed the skanky twat the minute I laid eyes
on her. There were any number of times I could 'ave done it, but I
didn't. Now it's too damn late...
Thought I'd 'ave more time with my pet... S'not fair... It would 'ave
been so good... But times up an' the stakes are flyin'... Damn... I
don't even get to say good-bye...
* * * * *
Evergleam and I know why God is good and Jesus loves me
Heaven lives and I know where
Sounds to me a not so easy chair falling free and living down
* * * * *
It happened fast. Anyone who listened could have heard Death's clock
ticking. The slayer for once was holding her own with Glory. While
she was distracted, Giles moved forward quickly, snatching a barely
whole Dawn from the altar.
Willow, Tara, and Wes managed wipe out a large amount of the demons
while injuring others. Spell after spell flowed from their lips, as
Cordelia rushed between them trying to keep the materials coming.
Riley, Gunn, and Angel cut a bloody path through the rest. A brutal
dance of blood, and death as they fought to survive.
And the blonde vampire...
Spike backed up he slayer. Not because he gave a damn whether she
lived or died. No... her victory insured his pet's safety. The long
black duster floated behind him as he attacked. Xander had never seen
anything so beautiful.
Buffy fought Glory to a draw, as they danced on the edge of the pit.
With a graceful backflip, Buffy's leg shot out sending Glory
careening into the pit.
* * * * *
Stringing out and over and happy
* * * * *
I didn't even think... I hit the detonator as Spike and Buffy raced
away from the edge. Shock waves knocked almost everyone to their
knees.
And then my world shattered...
Off balance -- Spike was thrown against the slayer. She hissed,
leaping for him. I heard Angel cursing as he reached for her, but he
was too late... too late...
***** Evergleam and I know why it isn't real and I'm not going to
break. Not going to break.*****
All I see is him. Blue blue eyes locked on mine. All I know is him.
If he dies, I don't want to live.
Angel... always to little to late...
//God's when will I learn not to take on slayers.//
Apparently I won't ever, not if the stake in my chest is any
indication. I don't think I screamed. I think I should, but I'm not.
Someone else beat me to it. It sounds familiar, why... It takes a
minute... but I know who it is.
//Spike, *my* Spike. Still alive, not dust. Fucking whore didn't get
him. Wonder why not?//
I gasp as a wave of pain rips through my chest.
//Oh... yeah. She got me.//
For some reason that strikes me as funny. I think I laugh but stop
because it's making Spike howl louder. Wonder why? Could be because
I've started spitting up blood. Try to wipe it away... don't wanna
tempt my vampire.
Blondie's yelling at me... hard to understand what he's saying. Have
to try for him... huh? doesn't want me to move... stay still... Cool
arms wrap around me... love feeling him around me... but...
"I can't stay still... nope... too many things I have to do before I
go..."
//Did I say that out loud? Shit, I think I did.//
***** Don't die, don't give in to it. No way, no way. Don't die.
Please don't leave me.*****
"Oh no-no-no-no... Xan hold on luv... hold on..."
Tears pouring down his cheeks. Never meant to make him cry... he
taught me that... taught me not to stay with someone who hurt me...
opened my eyes and saw him...
//Might not be too smart but smart enough to grab onto Spike. Hah...//
Didn't let love pass me by...
//Did I say that out loud? Want him to know...//
It's getting harder to keep my eyes open... think I've been passing
in and out.... somethings not connecting... if I could I'd laugh...
cause I think he's trying to say something... and it's funny how he's
having trouble speaking and I'm the one with a stake in his chest...
And I'm trying to tell him about the pretty colors, the glowing white
shapes but he just cries harder...
"Don't cry, Spikey."
Pale flash of arm and something wet and red... pleading voice telling
me to drink... then he's gone... spikey don't leave me... someone
screamed... The world starts spinning faster.. as the colors run
together... quiet but not... wailing in the distance...
**Evergleam and I know how pulling hair and breaking voices.
Giving in won't stop the noise. Spinning wills don't give you
choices.
Give away the spark inside you, give away the shining prize.
Evergleam and I know how it isn't real...**
Suddenly it doesn't hurt anymore... but there's something... have to
tell him... only for him... give away my heart... and it's
important... necessary that I say it... cause I'm feeling like I
won't be here later...
"Love you... love you spike... love y..."
did I say it... was something else... not important... least not
important as the lights... gleams everywhere.... evergleam... wonder
if it's real...
* * * * *
Evergleam, everywhere, ever weird, everyone
Evergleam, everywhere, everything
I won't see you there
No way, no way, no way
I'm not going away
* * * * *
END
