Xander sat as far away from the vampire as he could. He hated the way
he was acting though he couldn't help it. He didn't want anyone to
know... didn't want them to ever figure it out.
He wouldn't look directly at him. Just side long glances. Swift peeks
from the corner of his eyes because if he stared too long he'd break.
* * * * *
I have seen you shake and I know what it costs you.
I have heard your words, now I am big on your noise.
* * * * *
//Whatever's up must be big... has to be to bring Deadboy back. Back
to where it started... back to me... back to...//
The air in the room has suddenly become stifling and he can't think.
But he has too or they'll know. So he forces those thoughts away,
fights to control the heavy breathing.
And suddenly he's calm, as cool arms settle around him. He ignores
the gasps from the others, turns his eyes away from Angel.
* * * * *
My eyes aren't big enough, because I can't see your hands.
I can't see what you hold, I am growing now as I watch you fade.
* * * * *
Spike watched Xander from his corner of the room. When his mortal
began to look like he was going to lose it, he made his way over.
Ignoring the stares from the others. He would not let him face this
alone. He paused briefly to shoot a hate-filled glare at his sire.
//Fuckin' wanker.//
* * * * *
Now I know what you know and I'll break the chains that you have made.
These chains you've made for me.
I will pull you down.
* * * * *
Feeling his love relax, he turned his eyes to their audience. Of all
the eyes on them only one pair concern him. Their eyes lock. For a
moment Spike can see Angelus raging beneath the brown gaze. Instinct
kicked in as low threatening growls rumbled up from his chest.
He unconsciously tightened his arms around the mortal. Angel fought
the urge to growl back. Incensed over the smell of Spike all over
what was *his*.
Oblivious to the undercurrents Buffy glared at the two.
"What is he doing here? No one's paying you. And why are holding Xan?"
Giles stepped forward diverting Buffy's attention away from Spike.
"Really, Buffy. Now is not the time. Things with Glory have escalated
and if Cordelia's vision is right..."
The watcher paused to polish his glances.
"Then Dawn's time is short. There's no room for anything else."
Buffy backed down hearing the gravity in her watcher's voice. Turning
Giles stared at the vampire, ice in his gray-green eyes.
Ripper looked out from his eyes. Knowing if anyone loved Xander even
half as much as him it was Giles, Spike let his guard drop. For an
instant all his feelings for the boy are visible, and then gone.
Nodding the watcher turned back to the others, assured of Xander's
safety, ready to plan the attack that would once again save the world.
Despite Giles support the two are on the outskirts of the planning.
Not that either minds. Not when it means they can avoid Angel.
However, their respite isn't long. Because once again the slayer
can't do it without the zeppo's help.
Xander looked up to find the Buffy and Angel's gazes locked on them.
"Xander can you still.."
He interrupted before she could finish.
"Set a bomb with a remote detonator device. Yeah, as long as someone
gets me the materials."
His voice is sure.
"Good," said the blonde nodding. "you and Angel can..."
Two distinct voices cut her off.
* * * * *
I know I'll fail in style.
I long to touch your genius hands
* * * * *
"Not working with Deadboy."
His voice is low, steady.
"'Es not going near the nancy-boy."
Spike's voice is anything but quiet a snarl running beneath the
shouted negative.
Buffy sighed.
"Xan, really. You need to get over this how jealousy thing. Sheesh
grow up."
"Buffy!"
Giles' voice is hard, cold stopping the slayer mid whine.
"Xander will handle the explosives with Spike. Angel and I will
attempt to grab Dawn while you deal with Glory."
"I don't see why..."
"Enough, Buffy."
It is obvious to every except the slayer that Giles' patience is
wearing thin.
"But Giles... Angel is the only one who knows the catacombs beneath
the master's old place. And that's where Xander has to go."
Willow interrupts before the two can really start, hoping to calm the
situation down. The red-headed voice of reason.
Giles sighed heavily, forced to agree with the witch's logic.
"Maybe..."
Determined not to let Xander bend to the whim's of the others,
Spike's response is vehement, hostile and assuredly negative.
"I'll see you *all* dead first."
Stunned silence held sway for a minute.
"Why don't you let Harris, speak for himself Spike?"
Angel's voice is barely understandable, most of the question buried
in a hostile growl.
"Right, peaches. An what'll 'e say? Thanks but no thanks, I'd rather
not go with the twisted bastard that didn't *just* mindfuck me but
hey --"
"Spike, don't *damnit*!"
Rage and panic tainted the distraught cry.
Giles eyes widened in understanding and rage.
The air filled with shouted questions, raised voices, and shocked
exclamations. Despite the fact that it sounds like an air raid gone
wrong inside the shop, two voices stand out from the rambling of the
others.
One is female, a high-pitched shrieking that'd give a dog whistle
competition, the other British and decidedly enraged.
"What the hell is Spike talking about?" "This was *never* mentioned,
Spike."
The two voices mingle, but each is heard clearly by the gang.
The slayer turned on her watcher.
"You knew about this?"
Giles ignored the bitching female, focused on the blonde vampire.
"You *said* Angelus was tormenting Xander because of jealously. You
never said..."
Spike met the furious eyes unblinking.
"And you were going to believe me?"
"Yes," roared Giles, Ripper slipping out. "For the boy I consider a
son... HELL YEAH. I'da fuckin' torn his 'eart out."
* * * * *
I am growing now as I watch you fade.
* * * * *
A strained silence reigned as Giles stared down the vampire. No one
moved unwilling to attract Ripper's attention.
A smile slowly made it's way onto Spike's face. He'd always liked the
watcher.
"That's exactly why I didn't tell ya, Rupert. You'd already nearly
died trying to protect the boy from what you thought was just
Angelus's regular mind games. If you'd known..."
Spike let his voice trail off, shrugging. Looking away from the still
enraged man, he glanced over at his pet.
The anger beneath the panic let him know there would be hell to pay
later. However at the moment, the boy was too worried to let him have
it. He could see Xander was terrified of what the man he'd thought of
as a father would say... worried about his friends reactions.
Spike snorted loudly.
//Some fucking friends... not one noticed a thing excepting the
watcher.//
Xander watched nervous as Giles slowly made his way over, before
staring away. Giles stopped in front him. Tired of waiting for him to
say something, Xander glanced up.
"I'm sorry, Xander. I'm so sorry," he said quietly.
*****
Now I know what you know and
I'll break the chains that you have made.
These chains you've made for me.
I will pull you down.
*****
Xander shook his head quickly.
"NOT your fault, G-man. It was mine but... its OVER now. I've moved
past it with *Spike*."
Xander stared up at him, eyes begging for understanding. Giles smiled
gently pulling the boy into a hug.
"I can't think of anyone better for you."
Despite Giles show of temper, Buffy couldn't keep quiet.
"You mean-- You actually support this idiotic idea... Xander and S-
s.. S-s.. SPIKE!"
Whether prodded by guilt or Angelus, Angel couldn't remain silent
either.
"Spike isn't what Xander needs. He's a soulless demon, that will only
end up hurting him."
Xander pulled away from Giles, standing on his own.
*****
I know I'll fail in style,
I will I swear, I'm full of shame.
Your genius hands, your genius hands.
*****
"Like you," he hissed.
Xander stalked forward, to stand inches from the vampire who's
presence had haunted him for so very long.
Fury, hate and old pain radiated from him in waves.
"Your right," he said simply.
"Spike is a demon, but he's more human than you will ever be.
Unsouled or souled," Xander paused taking a deep breath, trying to
stay unemotional.
"I was always so full of shame. So *sure* I'd always be a failure. My
life shaped by your genius hands. But no more... Spike's helped me
see that. Helped me realize you are nothing to me."
Turning his back on the dark-eyed vampire, he walked away.
Spike moved to follow him, he paused turning to face Angel.
"You couldn't break him. No matter what he says, he was never broken.
You know it and I know it. Cause he was *never* another Drusilla."
Spike smirked.
"I oughta thank you though. You fucked up so bad... there was nowhere
for me to go but up."
Laughing the blonde left to be with Xander.
Everyone's eyes turned to Angel and Buffy, waiting. But not for long.
The silence exploded in a blaze of screams. Giles sat calmly, letting
them vent until he'd thought they'd had more than enough time. Plus
his ears were beginning to ring.
"Buffy, Angel. Shut the fuck up."
Startled the two quit yelling and stared at Giles.
"We still have a very serious situation on our hands. Xander and
Spike's relationship is not an issue."
Angel growled.
"You aren't seriously considering letting this go on. Spike..."
Giles cut him off with a growl of his own.
"Saved him from an abusive relationship, Angelus. I seriously doubt
he's going to drag him into another."
He turned to face all of them.
"As I was saying, Xander and Spike are Xander and Spike's concern.
And since none of you have the maturity to deal with them the three
of us will work as a team. Angel, Gunn, and Riley will act as Buffy's
back up. Willow, Tara, and Wes will handle the magical attacks with
Cordelia helping. Understood?"
The others nodded solemnly.
Striding over to the table, Giles began sorting weapons.
"There is no more time! We create a plan and execute it now... or we
all die tonight."
Cowed the others slink to the table, with the occasional mutinous
mutter from Buffy and Angel.
Plans are made and discarded. Remade and tossed. Until the perfect
plan was formed, and gone over until it was razor sharp.
