Prologue

A soft summer breeze brushed by her face and brought a refreshing coolness that soothed her sun-tanned skin from the intense rays of the afternoon sun. Wisps of her long, auburn hair blew freely around her face as she closed her eyes, tilted her head slightly upwards, took a deep breath, and drank in the aroma of wildflowers and honeysuckles that were scattered all over the countryside. A sense of peacefulness filled the air that moment, causing a subtle smile of serenity to cross her lips. This is where it all began. It was a good life, she thought, allowing the wave of calmness and tranquility to carry her spirit off to a place other than where she was in reality. 

She was not aware of how long she had been standing there with a feeling of contentedness sweeping over her for the first time in over a year. It was not until the horse and rider were nearly on top of her that she realized she had a visitor. 

She opened her eyes slowly, as if expecting all of the sensations that had just 
lifted her out of the absolute depths of despair to vanish along with the subsiding zephyr. But when she saw the familiar and kind face of her dear friend and confidante, the feelings that had brought her a new kind of comfort remained with her. 

"Hello, Lou," Jimmy smiled as he spoke ever so gently. "Am I disturbin' you?" 

Louise returned the warm smile with one of her own. Jimmy was extremely happy to see the young woman smile again in such a way that he had not seen since before Kid died exactly a year ago. 

"No, Jimmy. Of course not," she assured. "I just came out here to bring some flowers to Kid's grave." 

Suddenly, at hearing her own words echo in her ears and mind, the smile began to fade. 

Jimmy nodded lightly, and his face soon mirrored Lou's own, as he shared in her pain and anguish at the loss of her beloved husband and soul mate. Kid was probably the best friend he'd ever had and probably ever will have, and not a day passed by that he didn't feel the pain stabbing at his heart over the loss of his friend. Yet, Jimmy knew that what he was feeling was merely a speck of what Lou was feeling. 

He would never have thought in a million years that he would have lived to see this. Jimmy knew trouble had always shadowed him, so he couldn't help but wonder why it was that Kid was taken from this world before him. It didn't make sense, and it was something that Jimmy struggled to come to terms with in the past year, just as Lou struggled to move forward with her life. 

It had been such a hard year on Lou. Following the termination of the Pony Express, she followed Kid to Virginia where he fought for his native soil in the war, only after facing much opposition from the remaining members of the Rock Creek family. Kid had fought bravely for two years and was even awarded a medal of valor by the Confederacy for his deeds that saved the lives of many in his regiment. However, the courageousness and selflessness of his acts seemed to Lou to be for naught--it was far too great a sacrifice--as her cherished husband would eventually join the countless other young men--victims, really--on the 
long list of casualties for a cause that she didn't believe in. 

At least Lou had been able to be with Kid before he died, which was a rare and unusual occurrence in itself. It was on his deathbed that Kid told her his wish to be laid to rest out on the pacific plains outside of Sweetwater. It was the place where he and Lou first met, when their world was still innocent and untainted. It was the place he had wished to return to with his wife after the end of the bloody war so they could begin the family and life they had always dreamed of. Lou understood that Kid's request was his way of letting go of the past, severing his ties with the land of his birth, in an attempt to reclaim the lost innocence of youth in the West where he had grown into a man and found the woman whose heart he would hold for all eternity. 

Louise was always meant to be with Kid. Jimmy realized that long ago. But he couldn't help the fact that he still loved her…always had, and always will. All Jimmy had to do was look at her, gaze into those soulful brown eyes, and know that the old feelings he had for Lou during their more youthful days riding for the Pony Express had only grown stronger over the past several years. 

He placed his focus upon Lou from his elevated position on his horse and saw the face of a woman altered by tremendous loss and grief. Still, she was even more beautiful than ever, Jimmy thought. Her hair had grown so that it now fell well 
past her waist. The hem of her dark green skirt flared and the sleeves of her silky, white blouse flapped softly with each new gust of air. Her slight figure had fully blossomed with all the curves of womanhood after the birth of the son that Kid never knew he had. Lou looked just like the woman Jimmy had always known and pictured that she would turn out to be. But Jimmy could see the change in her eyes, the heartache in her lovely face, and it saddened him deeply. 

Jimmy dismounted his faithful steed and stood silently by Lou's side. She turned her gazes from him, as a solitary, quiet tear cascaded down the cheek that faced away from him. She found herself staring off into the distance, into the vast plains that stretched out seemingly endlessly in front of her. Lou inhaled the sweetly perfumed air deeply; savoring it until it permeated into every part of her being. 
She could feel Kid's spirit moving through her, and she realized that it was time to stop grieving and get on with her life. It's how he would want it, she thought. 

Lou glanced back one last time to the grave marker behind her before restoring 
her eyes to the land that had managed to stay unsettled and unspoiled for so l
ong, somehow taking comfort in the past that lay behind and finding strength in 
the future that lay wide open and undetermined ahead of her. 

Lou turned once again and faced Jimmy. Dearest Jimmy, how much you mean to me, she sighed to herself. Their eyes met instantly and seemed to stay locked to each other's for ages. And Jimmy knew that Lou was over the worst when he saw the sparkle and glimmer return to her velvet eyes, the gentle current carrying the descending tear away from her face. Lou smiled and extended her hand out to Jimmy. He gladly accepted it wordlessly, leading his horse with the other hand while the two walked back to the little white farmhouse, hand in hand, where their saga had begun nearly five years ago. 
 

Chapter I

What though the radiance which was once so bright 
Be now forever taken from my sight, 
Though nothing can bring back the hour 
Of splendor in the grass, or glory in the flower; 
We will grieve not, rather find 
Strength in what remains behind; 
In the primal sympathy 
Which having been must ever be; 
In the soothing thoughts that spring 
Out of human suffering; 
In the faith that looks through death 
In years that bring the philosophical mind. 
Excerpt from Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood by William Wordsworth 

Louise had recited those words to herself nearly a thousand times in the last 
year. They always brought her comfort. And though she had memorized the words long ago, she clung tightly to the small leather-covered book of poetry given to 
her by Kid on the eve he left to join the war effort. 

Memories of that fateful night flooded her mind as she closed her eyes and raised the book to her swollen bosom. If she listened hard enough, Lou could still hear 
the rolling of the drums in the distance as the group of eager, naïve; young Southern men marched in the processional to the enlistment board. She remembered feeling the fear growing inside of her as the thundering sound of the drums and the footsteps of hundreds of followers became louder and nearer. She knew that the approaching cavalcade was going to carry her new husband away from her for a long, long time, despite Kid's promises that the war would be over 
in a matter of weeks. 

"Kid, please," Lou pled, the tears flowing freely from her eyes, "you don't have to do this." 

"Yes, I do, Lou," Kid tried to explain. "You've always fought for what you believed in. Whether it was ridin' for the Pony Express, or fightin' against folks who said a woman couldn't make it on her own out West. Now it's time for me to fight for 
what I believe in. It's time for me to fight for Virginia, my home." 

"But why should you fight for the past when you should be fightin' for the future? Our future...yours and mine." Lou closed her eyes for a moment, trying to temporarily relieve the stinging sensation from the salty tears. 

"I just need to. I can't forget who I am, or where I came from, Lou." Kid reached out his arms to Lou and embraced her, holding her tightly and protectively. "I 
know you may not understand it now, but I pray that one day you will." 

"I don't think I'll ever understand this, Kid." Lou responded, her words slightly muffled since her face was now firmly pressed into Kid's chest. Then, she raised 
her head and looked her husband straight in the eye. "You say you have to fight 
for Virginia--for what you believe in. Well, just the same, I'll keep fightin' for you, Kid--for us, this family. That's what I believe in." 

"You've got enough fight in ya for both of us," Kid let a slight smile cross his lips 
as he remembered their Express days together. They had their fair share of arguments and disagreements, that's for sure, most of which Lou managed to 
win. She never gave up. And Kid understood that it was probably the hardest thing he could ever ask Lou to do...give him up for a while so he can fight for his cause. 

"I hope so, Kid. I hope so," Lou replied, praying that she would find the strength and courage within herself to survive the loneliness that she was already 
beginning to feel in these last few moments before her beloved husband left to 
join the procession of enlistees. 

Lou gasped when she heard the tapping of the drums and cadence of marching men stop suddenly in front of the small farmhouse that had become her home. They were coming for Kid...coming to take him away from her. 

"Lou, I gotta go," Kid said softly as he leaned down to kiss Lou on the forehead. 

"Please, Kid..." was all that Lou was able to say, the tears taking complete control over her. 

"I nearly forgot," Kid stated, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a flat rectangular package wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string. He handed it 
to Lou, who looked up at him with her moistened brown eyes. "Don't open it 'til 
I'm gone...not 'til you can't see me no more, alright?" 

"Anything, Kid. Just promise me this," Lou began. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself. Promise me you'll come home to me." 

"I will," Kid responded, his voice low and gentle and his eyes now giving forth 
tears of his own. 

Kid and Lou kissed and embraced each other for one last time before he would leave to join the others. Lou was holding on for dear life, forcing Kid to nearly to have to pry her out of his arms. She never wanted to let go. She wanted to wish this whole awful war away and send them back to Rock Creek where the only 
family she had ever known still remained. 

"I have to go," he said again. "I love you more than anything, Lou." 

"I love you too, Kid," she sobbed. 

Those were his last words before Kid pulled away from his weeping wife and left 
the haven of the covered porch where the two had been standing saying their good-byes. 

Lou sighed deeply as she watched Kid walk away, and she blew him a kiss when he looked back over his shoulder at her. 

"Ride safe, Kid," Lou whispered, knowing that although her words were not 
audible, somehow Kid would hear them in his heart. 

Lou blinked away the tears and kept her eyes fixed on the figure of Kid as it began to rapidly shrink behind the horizon. 
 
 

It all seems so long ago, Lou thought to herself. Yet, I can still see him and the 
way he looked before the ravages of war began to show in his once-youthful face. 

She had been sitting in the rocking chair in the refurbished Sweetwater 
farmhouse, previously owned by Emma, for hours now. It was getting late, and although she wasn't really hungry, she knew that she should go out to the bunkhouse to join the others for supper. Otherwise, they would worry about her. 

Lou rose from her chair and walked over to the white wicker bassinet where the baby was resting. A bittersweet smile crept across her lips when she looked down to see the tiny form of the sleeping babe curled up under the little blue blanket 
that Rachel had crocheted for him. Her son, who was only six months old, had given Lou the strength to go on when her hope had nearly run out, but she 
couldn't help feeling saddened by the fact that he would never know his father and that his father never knew him. 

Along with her son, Louise had found so much comfort in being back with her old friends. It never made up for the loss she felt that Kid was not able to share in that sense of love and camaraderie with her, especially since he had always dreamed 
of returning to the West after the war. But being amongst familiar faces again, seeing the land unmarred by death and bloodshed, was just what she needed to help mend her broken heart. It gave Lou something to hold on to while allowing 
her to continue moving forward with her life. 

Lou carefully lifted the bassinet with the baby and made her way across the parlor to the front door. She exited the house and headed toward the bunkhouse where everyone was surely waiting for her. 

When Lou opened the bunkhouse door, she was immediately met with five pairs 
of eyes. Teaspoon, Rachel, Buck, Cody, and, of course, Jimmy all knew what today was. It was the year anniversary of Kid's death. They didn't want to say anything to her until they received some sort of unspoken, subtle indication that Lou was 
all right. They didn't want to do anything or say anything that might make her 
even more upset that she was expected to be. 

Lou could feel the weight of their stares upon her, understanding that her family was simply concerned about her and being cautious around her. Lou smiled to signal to them that she was going to be all right and was soon met by similar expressions containing both sympathy and relief. 

"Lou, why don't you put the baby down and have a seat," Rachel suggested, 
gladly noting that the young widow was not as despondent as was expected. "Supper's ready." 

Lou put the bassinet on the table and watched as Teaspoon and the boys turned into gaping clowns as they leaned in over the baby. Lou let a little chuckle escape her mouth as she looked at the softened, beaming faces of the men, their voices changing into high-pitched, nonsensical babbling with their baby talk. 

"The baby's lookin' more and more like you each day, Lou. But he's got Kid's 
eyes," Cody said. 

Rachel, Teaspoon, Buck, and Jimmy all sent murdering glares in Cody's direction, thinking that he had once again put his foot in his mouth. They dirty looks only ceased when they heard Lou speak confidently. 

"I think you're right, Cody," Lou agreed wholeheartedly. "He does have the Kid's eyes." 

Everyone was surprised to see that Lou was able to say this without losing complete control over her emotions. They felt that Lou had gotten over a big 
hurdle with her admission. 

"But unless you want to be the one to feed him, I suggest you not wake him," Lou scolded gently. 

"How do you expect us to do that, Lou?" Cody asked teasingly. After all, the baby was still breast-feeding. 

"Use your imagination, Cody," Lou retorted jokingly, sending a wink towards Teaspoon. 

Teaspoon cleared his throat nervously at Lou's warning while he and the others backed away from the baby. As much as they all loved the baby, the thought of 
the crying and screaming that would most likely accompany his awakening was something they wanted to avoid at all costs. 

"I see your feelin' better, Lou," Jimmy smiled, glad to see that Lou's quick wit and sense of humor remained intact through the difficult days she had recently come out of. 

"I am, Jimmy. I really am." 

Everybody realized that Lou was telling the truth. As Jimmy had seen earlier on that day, the gleam was returning to her soft brown eyes, and the color was returning to her face which had been almost a sickly, ghostly pale for so long. 

"Well, let's eat!" Cody exclaimed, knife and fork in hand, ready for Rachel to dish out some of her delicious Creole stew. 

"Some things never change," Buck shook his head and laughed at Cody's statement. 

"Thank God," Lou whispered. 

Lou was extremely thankful that some things from the past had gone unchanged, even if it was something as insignificant as Cody's eating habits. It meant that, though they had all been through so much in the last few years with the 
experience of war, their inner persons stayed the same, the essence of who they were had not been altered by the hate and bitterness that had enveloped them. 

Lou ate her supper silently basking in the pure joy and goodness of being surrounded by family. It was these simple pleasures that gave Lou the most comfort and solace these days...seeing her old friends again. After the end of the Pony Express, the way station in Rock Creek was shut down and sold by the company. However, since Emma held the deed to the property, house, and other buildings on the homestead back in Sweetwater, which was vacant, the remaining members moved back to their original home with Emma's blessing. 

Rachel continued her teaching in Sweetwater, as did Teaspoon with his work as Marshal and chief law enforcement officer. Though he was a bit older, the years had been good to him, his mind and his reflexes both as sharp as ever. 

Of course, Cody had joined the army, working primarily as a tracker in the West, 
so he did not see firsthand most of the atrocities of the war that took place back East. While on leave, he returned to the old Sweetwater station and the only real family he'd known as often as he could. 

When the news of Kid's death reached him, Cody came back immediately to help Lou begin her life anew in Sweetwater. Along with Buck, who had returned after a brief stay in the Kiowa village with his brother's tribe, Cody assisted Lou in rebuilding her life and starting the horse ranch that she and Kid had always 
planned to have. 

Though Jimmy had been restless for a long time following the end of the Pony Express, wandering from one lawless town to the next, serving as deputy or marshal in a few, he had stayed in close contact with Rachel, Teaspoon, Buck, and Cody. He wrote to Lou a few times while she was away in Virginia, but not nearly 
as much as she would have liked. Jimmy had always asked about Kid, somehow wanting to find reconciliation with him as they had not been on the best of terms when Kid announced that he was leaving Rock Creek to fight for the South and against everything that Jimmy felt he believed so strongly in at the time. Perhaps it was that guilt that Jimmy felt which caused him to return to Sweetwater when 
he read Lou's letter telling him that Kid had died in the war. Even more so, perhaps it was the tremendously deep feelings that Jimmy still had for Lou that compelled him to her side. 

Jimmy had been a constant companion to Lou in the year following Kid's death, 
and she cherished his friendship more than ever, feeling as if maybe at times she had taken it for granted during their Express days. The feelings that Jimmy still 
had for Lou were unspoken but understood. And Lou was able to draw strength from him even in her darkest hours. He never let her down; he would never let her give up hope or her will to survive. 

Jimmy had even been with Lou when the baby starting coming a month early. Lou had been so grateful to her friend that she chose to name her son after him even when Jimmy tried to persuade her to call the child after his father. But at the 
time, Lou didn't think she could call out the name 'Kid' without bringing tears to 
her eyes, and she didn't want her son to look upon her saddened face. She also 
had told Jimmy that when she and Kid talked before about starting a family, Kid mentioned that he wanted to name his son after his best friend, whom he loved so dearly despite their differing opinions. Somehow, knowing this helped Jimmy find the absolution that he so desperately needed after he and Kid parted so badly. "Lou? Lou?" 

Suddenly, Louise was brought out of her reverie, realizing that she was still sitting at the bunkhouse table, staring off into space, even after Rachel had already cleared away the supper dishes. 

"Huh?" she replied absentmindedly. 

"You musta been off in another world," Jimmy stated. 

"Oh, I guess I was," she smiled. 

"Rememberin'?" Jimmy asked tentatively. 

"Mmmhmm," Lou nodded. "I was just thinkin' how happy I am that we're here together again and how much I appreciate what you've all done for me this past year. I know I don't always let on, but it's meant a lot to me. I don't know how I would've pulled through otherwise." 

Rachel smiled and put her hand on Lou's shoulder reassuringly. "We know that, Lou. We're just glad we could be here for you when you needed us." 

"That's right," Cody confirmed. "We all may have had our differences before, but like Teaspoon always said, 'we're a family, and family sticks together'." 

"We always have," Buck began, "and we always will." 

Teaspoon was glowing with pride at Cody and Buck's recollection of things he'd once said to them. "Well, I'm glad to see I've had a positive influence on you boys. Frankly, I thought you never heard a word I said!" 

"Oh, we heard what you said, Teaspoon," Jimmy commented with a chuckle. "That don't mean we always listened to what you said, though." 

Everyone at the table burst out into laughter, except Teaspoon, who was feigning hurt feelings at Jimmy's last remark. 

"No, but seriously, Teaspoon, we may not have always understood everythin' you said at the time, but I think we've found that most of it all makes sense now," Jimmy confessed. 

"Well, glad to see I managed to get through that thick skull o' yours, Hickok," Teaspoon replied with his typical crooked grin. 

Laughter once again filled the tiny bunkhouse, but it was soon drowned out by the loud wailing and hollering of baby James. Lou reached over and lifted James out of his basket, the crying persisting. 

"Kinda sounds like you when you get mad, Lou," Buck teased. 

"Uh-uh," Jimmy shook his head with a devilish grin on his face. "I don't think it's even close!" 

"You better hush up, Jimmy Hickok, or I'll hand over this baby over to you along with his dirty diaper," Lou responded impishly, holding James out in her arms towards Jimmy. 

"No way!" Jimmy held up his hands as if to surrender. As much as he loved the baby, he wanted to stay as far away from him as possible when he was in need of changing or was spitting up food. "We had enough trouble with that baby that was left here that one time." 

"It's a good thing you learned how to handle them better since then, Jimmy," 
Buck remarked. "As I recall you were goin' to give it your spurs to play with!" 

"Well, how was I s'posed to know? Ain't like I'd ever been 'round babies before," Jimmy defended. "At least Cody wasn't here. He'd probably given the baby his 
gun to try out." 

"Very funny, Jimmy," Cody said sarcastically. 

Lou finished putting a fresh diaper on the baby and returned him to his bassinet. He'd stopped crying at least, but it was nearly feeding time. 

"I'd better go now and feed him before he goes at it again," Lou stated. 

"I think that's a good idea," Cody replied as he fingered his ear, trying to fully regain his sense of hearing. 

"I'll be back in the house soon if you need anythin'," Rachel mentioned. 

"Thanks, Rachel," Lou smiled. "Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Lou," everyone said in unison. 

After Lou left the bunkhouse, Buck, Cody, Jimmy, Teaspoon, and Rachel all 
glanced around at each other, thankful that Louise seemed to be well on her way 
to getting over her grief. They knew that the loss of her husband, whom she had only spend a few months with during their two years of marriage, would never be something that Lou would completely recover from. However, she was making good progress, and they all prayed that things would only get better. 
 
 

Chapter II

"Mmm, it's such a wonderful day," Lou sighed dreamily as she closed her eyes 
and felt the cool breeze that flowed off the pond kiss her cheeks. 

"Yup," Jimmy nodded in agreement, removing his black hat so that he could feel the warm sun shining on his face. "It sure is." 

Jimmy loved watching Lou enjoy herself so much after the Hell she had been through during the past few years. He never wanted her to feel anything but 
happy and content. Any pain or unhappiness that she felt, he felt as well. Jimmy understood it was because he loved her so much. 

It seemed that every time Jimmy looked at Lou, it was as though he was staring at a painting. Everything about her seemed almost too beautiful to be real--the way the sunlight illuminated her auburn hair, accentuating the reddish and coppery highlights, the way the gentle wind moved through the ruffled collar of her blouse. It was as if the perfect image she presented would shatter if he reached out to touch her, as he often felt the urge to. 

Louise had caught Jimmy staring at her, and she tried her best to suppress the blush she felt would shortly follow. It feels good to have someone look at me that way again, Lou thought to herself. 

Jimmy continued to watch Lou, who sat in the tall, summer-scorched grass, her legs fully outstretched in front of her, and leaning back on her arms that 
supported her head and upper body. Jimmy was reclining in a similar fashion, absentmindedly chewing on a piece of straw, completely consumed in his 
thoughts of Lou and how close she was sitting next to him. 

Jimmy felt his heart stop as her arm momentarily brushed his when she 
readjusted herself and leaned further back, allowing her head to fall gracefully to the ground below. Jimmy followed suit, and soon the two were lying together in 
the grass, basking in the beauty of the day and the serenity of the moment, their eyes closed to block out the blinding rays of the midday sun. 

"I remember when I was a little girl I used to wade and swim in the pond for hours," Lou reminisced fondly. "My mama used to have to drag me out, and by then my skin was so wrinkled I looked like a prune!" 

Jimmy had to laugh at this image of a very young Lou being pulled from the water by an angry mother. 

"Well, what are you waitin' for?" Jimmy proposed. Lou whipped around on her side and faced Jimmy; her head propped up on her hand. Her eyes widened at the suggestion. 

"Jimmy, I'm a grown woman now. I don't think it's really proper to pull up my skirt and go wadin' in the pond." 

Jimmy could feel Lou's eyes burn in to his cheeks, so he opened his eyes and turned to face her. 

"The fact that somethin' wasn't proper never stopped you from doin' anything before," Jimmy practically dared, his tone of voice very mischievous. 

"Are you darin' me, Jimmy Hickok?" Lou asked, though she already knew the answer. 

"Let's just say I'm encouragin' you just a bit," he smirked. 

"Oh, really?" Lou returned the look with a playful grin of her own. 

"Mmmhmm," Jimmy nodded. 

"Well, we'll just see about that." 

Suddenly, Lou rose from the grass-covered ground where she and Jimmy had 
been enjoying a picnic lunch together and boldly pulled the back of her skirt through her legs, tucking it in at the waist. Then she pulled off her shoes and stockings, causing Jimmy to gasp slightly at the sight of Lou's bare legs. He could see almost up to her knees now, but Lou didn't seem to care. In fact, she was really enjoying the risk and impropriety of it all, reminding her very much of her days riding for the Pony Express before she had become a wife and mother. 

Then, Lou walked toward the pond almost defiantly and stepped into the refreshing, clear blue waters with no sign of restraint or inhibition. It was exhilarating! She hadn't felt this whimsical and carefree in a long time. 

"I never back down from a dare!" Lou called back at Jimmy, while she stood in the middle of the pond, her hands on her hips, feeling the cool, tingling sensation of 
the water on her legs and feet. 

By now, Jimmy was laughing away heartily at the sight of her with her skirts 
pulled up, knee-deep in water. 

Lou began to progress further out into the depths of the pond when she felt the thick muck take hold of her left foot when she attempted to walk. But it was too late. Before she realized that one of her feet was immobilized, she lost her 
balance and went crashing down into the waters. Splash! 

"Lou!" Jimmy cried out as he watched her tumble forward so that now she was completely drenched. 

Jimmy ran to her immediately, not even taking off his boots before he went splashing into the pond. 

"Lou! Are you alright?" Jimmy asked, a certain degree of panic in his voice. 

"I'll be fine, Jimmy," Lou replied, unharmed but more embarrassed than anything else. 

Suddenly, realizing that Lou was okay, Jimmy started laughing at her. Lou, who was still sitting in the muck, her clothes entirely soaked through with water and mud, was not amused in the least. 

"I don't see what's so funny!" Lou pouted as she looked at Jimmy through narrowed eyes. 

His laughter continued, undaunted by the slightly stabbing glare that Lou was giving him. 

"Do you think you could contain your laughter for a moment and help me up?" Lou asked, her tone of voice indicating that she did not appreciate the fact that Jimmy was finding so much humor in her situation. 

Jimmy tried his best to contain his laughter and extended his arms out to her. Lou took him by the hands, and when she was almost standing upright, she pulled Jimmy with all her might causing him to fall over and land in the water as she had. 

"Now that's funny!" Lou blurted out. 

Now that the shoe was on Jimmy's foot, Lou could not stifle the gut-wrenching laughter that was threatening to overcome her. Soon, they were sitting in the middle of the pond, playfully splashing each other and laughing hysterically. 

"I don't remember when I've laughed so much!" Lou commented, her eyes now shedding tears due to the bout of laughter. 

Jimmy stopped laughing and looked at Lou with all the sincerity and honesty in 
the world radiating from his dark eyes. "I'm glad, Lou. I'm glad to see you so happy." 

"I am happy, Jimmy," Lou smiled and her eyes shined in such a way that Jimmy knew that it was true. "And it's not that I don't miss Kid, because, Lord knows, I 
do. I always will. But I've realized that I have to let myself experience happiness again. Kid would want it that way. I feel him with me all the time, and I know now that's what he wants." 

Lou paused for a moment and her facial expression became serious. She sensed that she was about to make some sort of revelation to both herself and to Jimmy. She continued, her eyes focused on his, and spoke openly. "I'd completely shut 
out any shred of joy for almost a year, Jimmy, even so much that I still felt bitterness and sadness at the birth our son…and I know that was wrong." 

"Ah, Lou, don't be so hard on yourself," Jimmy tried to reassure her. "I've seen 
you with James, and you're a great mother. I see all the love you have for Kid shinin' in your eyes when you look at him." 

"Oh, Jimmy, thank you so much." Lou reached over and hugged him, not realizing that she was about to make him even wetter than he already was. But Jimmy couldn't have cared less. "That means a lot to hear you say that." 

"Well, it's the truth," he replied earnestly. 

"I guess we should get back to land before someone comes out here and sees us like this," Lou suggested. 

"Guess so." Though Jimmy definitely did not enjoy sitting in the middle of the pond and getting all wet, he was thoroughly enjoying his time alone with Louise. He cherished these special moments with her, as did she. 

Lou struggled somewhat, but she finally managed to rise to her feet. She held out her hands to Jimmy as she had before and asked, "Need a hand?" 

"No thank you, Lou," Jimmy smiled as he shook his head. "I ain't fallin' for that one twice!" 

Lou began giggling as she watched Jimmy fight to gain sure footing in the sticky muck below. It appeared that he was going to fall back down again several times, but he eventually pulled himself up. 

"There. See? Told ya I could do it," Jimmy noted. 

"Mmmhmm," Lou nodded roguishly, observing his wobbly legs trembling beneath him. 

Jimmy and Lou trudged through the water together, their arms entwined behind each other's backs for support. 

When the two reached dry land, their eyes suddenly met, and soon Lou found herself gazing at Jimmy in a way she had not done before. Both still had wide smiles on their faces, remnants of their previous laughter, and were breathing heavily due to their plodding through the mud and water. Their clothes were sopping wet, making Lou's off-white blouse somewhat translucent in the golden sunlight. Her hair and face had also gotten wet, causing beads of water to 
cascade from her temples down her cheek to her chin where they promptly 
dripped off. 

Jimmy and Lou stood there silently gazing at each other for what seemed to be 
the longest time. Their breathing had returned to normal. Suddenly, Lou felt a warm flush sweep over her entire body, causing the breeze, which had only just felt chilly as it penetrated through her wet clothes down to her skin, to disappear from her senses. Lou's smile soon faded and was replaced instead by a look that Jimmy had never seen her give him before as she began to fall deeper and deeper under the spell that Jimmy was unaware he was casting. 

Jimmy's face then formed a similar expression. He recognized the look in Lou's eyes very well indeed. Though it was a look that had not been graced upon him before, Jimmy recognized that it was the look he had only seen when Lou looked 
at Kid. 

It was not as if Lou had never thought of Jimmy as more than a friend before. 
They had always been exceptionally close, often feeling as though they were one and the same. Jimmy and Lou had an unspoken understanding with each other, and their love was never verbalized or really acted upon. Lou needed Kid and 
loved him in a way that was different than her love for Jimmy. Both of them knew that. 

But Lou's feelings for Jimmy had grown even deeper in the past year. Without his constant and unfailing friendship and support, Lou thought that she might not 
have been able to go on. He'd made her fight to live again and be happy again when she only wanted to stay in bed and wish it all away. Jimmy helped Lou get back on her feet after the birth of her son, and together with Buck and Cody, they rebuilt the old Sweetwater way station into a budding horse ranch. 

Although Lou had recognized the tremendous amount of gratitude and esteem she'd always felt for Jimmy, the feeling that flooded her sensations this time was new. It was something else…something more…not just mere gratitude. 

The feelings for Jimmy that had been slowly, but surely, building up inside her became conscious. And though Lou would never for a moment want to go back 
and change the choices she made long ago, she could not deny what she felt for Jimmy. These feelings at once became crystal clear, and Lou no longer felt the need to restrain them. 

Their bodies instinctively drifted closer as though they were being drawn together by some form of external magnetic force. Jimmy could feel Lou's warm breath on his face as they gravitated even more toward each other, not stopping until their lips finally met. 

Their arms slowly wrapped around each other, their bodies now pressed firmly together. 

Lou sensed a quiet, gentle passion in the kiss. It was very unlike the one prior 
kiss that she and Jimmy had shared that night long ago when they were escorting Elias Mills to his hanging. That had been electric and torrid, yet somewhat forceful in the way Jimmy had reached out and suddenly pulled Lou into his manly embrace. 

No, this one was different; it was better. The great deal of intimacy in the kiss was unparalleled by the previous one, the memory of which had managed to stay crisp and fresh in both of their minds, though they would experience many others since then. 

Perhaps it was the mutual yearning in Jimmy and Lou's hearts that made it so impassioned. It was something in which they partook equally, both feeling the same erotic impulses driving them together, heightening their shared sensations, but shutting out the rest of the world around them. It was only the two of them now, and soon, it became one desire, one heart beating as one. 

Jimmy and Lou felt as if they were the only man and woman on Earth. All the 
years of bottled and repressed love was flowing freely between their lips. And it was not until Lou became aware of the high-pitched shrill of a baby's cry that she and Jimmy separated. 

The kiss abruptly came to a halt when Lou realized that baby James must have awakened from his nap. 

Jimmy's arms loosened the tight hold he'd had on Lou. She smiled at him, almost apologetically, as she left his embrace and walked over to where the wailing baby was lying in his basket, his arms and legs flailing wildly. Lou lifted James up into her arms, nuzzling his head against her bosom. 

"Does he need changin'?" Jimmy wondered, breaking the long-standing silence that had existed between him and Lou. 

"No," Lou replied. "He's just hungry. I didn't think he'd be hungry so soon." 

She turned her focus back on her wriggling son. "Are you hungry, James? Is it 
time for lunch?" Lou questioned the child, her voice turning into playful baby-talk as she rocked him gently in her arms. 

Jimmy couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful sight of mother and child. But 
behind the smile was the intense, and slightly bitter, longing that Lou was his wife and James was his son. 

However, Jimmy didn't let on. 

"Shouldn't we head back so you can feed him?" he suggested. 

"Well, it's a long way back, and I'm afraid he won't stop this cryin' 'til he gets 
what he wants. By then, we'll both be deaf!" Lou responded. 

Jimmy didn't quite know what Lou was getting at. "Do you have a bottle?" 

"I fed him before we left, so I didn't bring one," she commented. "I didn't think 
he'd be hungry yet, but I guess babies never act like you expect them to." 

"Well, what should we do?" 

"I'm just going to have to feed him now," Lou said plainly. 

"What, right now? Here?" Jimmy cried out in disbelief, his face glowing a darker shade of pink as he now understood what Lou was proposing to do. 

"Yes, Jimmy," Lou began. "Unless you have a better idea?" 

"Nope," he responded quickly. 

"I'll turn around, that's all." Lou spoke matter-of-factly and confidently, as if she had no qualms or shame of Jimmy being in her presence while she breast-fed her infant son. 

"Alright, I guess," Jimmy shrugged. 

With that, Lou turned her back to Jimmy and sat down on the grassy plain. Jimmy could tell that Lou was unbuttoning her blouse from the angle he had above her and saw her bring James to rest on her bosom, though he could not actually see her flesh. 

It was a powerful image--something Jimmy had never before witnessed. He could see the smiling profile of Lou from the way her head was tilted downward and slightly to the left, allowing her to gaze into the child's azure eyes, which he had 
no doubt inherited from his father. 

Eventually, the curiosity of it all got the better of Jimmy when he boldly, and unthinkingly, blurted out, "Don't that hurt, Lou?" 

As soon as the words left Jimmy's mouth, he felt embarrassed that he could have even had such a thought and voiced it out loud. 

Lou laughed at Jimmy's question, causing the blood that had rushed to his face to instantly subside. 

"Well, it's somethin' you get used to after a while," she chuckled. 

"Oh," he replied sheepishly. 

"I think you've had enough," Lou said to James. She placed him back in the bassinet, where he promptly fell into a peaceful slumber, and buttoned her blouse back up before rising and facing Jimmy. 

Jimmy looked deeply into her dark brown eyes that seemed to have even more 
life and sparkle in them than they had only a few minutes ago. And he understood why. Since Kid's death, James had become her lifeline…the primary factor that sustained her. Jimmy also realized how the act of feeding a baby, to some degree, possessed the same level of intimacy that bound a mother and her child as did a kiss that bound a woman and a man. 

He approached Louise slowly. When they were standing close, their bodies separated by only a few inches, they reached out to each other as they had done before. They clasped the other's hands, their fingers laced together by their sides, while the breeze carried strands of their wet hair away from their faces. 

No words were spoken, as the two appeared to communicate through some sort of telepathic link that existed between their hands as well as their hearts. 

Their heads moved even closer until Jimmy and Lou once again felt their lips meld together. The kiss was brief, yet no less passionate than the one before. And Jimmy knew that the first kiss had not been an accident. 

When they separated just enough so that they could see into each other's eyes, Lou sent Jimmy the most subtle, yet telling, smile. He returned the look, his face glowing with all the love and desire that he'd kept locked away for so many years. He knew that his dream had come true. Lou loved him just as he loved her. 

The wind rustling through their damp clothes, Jimmy and Lou stood together, 
their fingers still entwined, for what seemed like an eternity, never wanting the glorious moment to end. However, Jimmy somehow felt that that he had to break the silence, almost for fear that he was only dreaming. 

"I guess we should get goin' soon," Jimmy spoke, his voice soft and low. 

"I s'pose your right," Lou reluctantly nodded. "The others will be worried about." 

Neither one of them wanted to tear their fingers away from the other, especially Jimmy, who was afraid, that if the external bond was broken, that maybe the intense internal connection might disappear as well. But when Lou finally did let 
go and down over the bassinet that held James, Jimmy was relieved that the feelings they'd shared remained intact. He could still sense Lou's velvet touch lingering on his fingertips, the taste of her sweet breath still on his lips. And he knew that Lou felt the same way. 

Jimmy waited until Lou had picked up the bassinet in one hand, rising to face him, and he placed his arm around her shoulder, carrying the picnic basket in his other hand. Lou, in turn, wrapped her free arm around his waist as they began to walk silently back to the farmhouse together.