Chapter 1

Salt Lake City, 1859 

Buck Cross and Ike McSwain sat in the town saloon, the light from the sunset outside glowing through the window. But it did little to disturb the morose young boys from their thoughts. 

It had been two days since they arrived in Salt Lake, and nothing of interest had happened yet. They were ready to move on, to find another town to rest in, unless something important came up. It turned out, something important was coming down, descending the stairs from the top floor together with her lady friend. Buck flinched at the sight of the lovely young woman, who couldn't be older than himself. She was wearing a red and black dress with lace and strings everywhere, and her seducing red hair was curled to corkscrews, tied behind her head. She lit 
up the entire room, every head turning to see her and her blonde friend, wearing 
a similar dress, as they continued to the bar and sat down. They scanned the 
room, and soon the blonde young woman was on a mission. She came up to Buck and Ike, sitting down at their table. "Mind if I join you boys?" she asked in a delicate southern accent. Buck could but shake his head, and noticed in the corner of his eye how Ike continued to stare at the woman now in their company. As if sensing this, the blonde beauty turned to him and started to ask some questions, which Ike stiffly nodded or shook his head in response to. Buck smiled bemused, turning his attention back to the redhead at the bar. She wasn't alone, three men already trying to have first luck with her. She would politely smile and turn away. None of them was good enough for her, all too sleazy and dirty. She had other plans in mind, but couldn't act before her friend moved away from that table. Leave him alone, Sherri. He can't talk anyway! She thought with a sigh, meeting Buck's searching eyes. 

She studied her admirer, who suddenly broke their contact as Sherri sat herself on the table, still trying to seduce Ike with longing glances and sweet words. Buck smiled at his friend, then rose to walk up to the bar. 

"Hello," the redhead greeted with a warm smile, her perfect English whispering 
she had been around. 

"Hi," Buck replied, sitting down beside her. 

"I noticed you looking at me," Kate smiled at her luck. That saved me a walk to his table… 

"Many did, surely you noticed them too," Buck said, not planning on spending the night with a saloon girl. He was merely enjoying being the center of her attention. 

"No, I didn't. What's your name?" the beauty asked, leaning her head in her hand, glancing at him sideways. 

"What's yours?" Buck asked back, smiling contentedly. 

"Ah, you play it that way… Well, if I answer, will you?" the redhead smiled. 

Buck nodded. 

"It's only fair." 

"My name is Kate Friedrisch, and yours?" 

"Buck Cross." 

"Very nice to meet you, Buck Cross. Let me ask you another question," Kate smiled, also enjoying the teasing they were both performing on the other's expense. 

"Shoot." 

"I won't go that far, but tell me… You and your friend, are you staying on?" 

"I don't think so, why?" Buck asked back, glancing over his shoulder at his friend. 

When he turned back Kate seemed a little down. He studied her in silence, until 
she broke out into another warm smile. 

"Well, I hope your stay will be satisfying, and if not… You know where to find me," she said, leaving the bar with graceful moves. She had sensed all along this young Indian was not like most men she had met. He seemed softer, more caring than they, and still he knew exactly what to say. He must have been around, she thought, almost chuckling when she thought of their conversation. She wished to get to know him on a different level, but her new occupation as a saloon girl and slut to-be forced those thoughts aside. This young man was way too nice to ever look at a working girl, unless it was to get away from the everyday routine for a 
bit, to enjoy himself. But she knew by his looks and language he would never 
enjoy himself too much, and sleeping with a whore would never be his intentions. 

Thinking this she couldn't help but believe in faith, had been waiting for a gentle knight to come and take her away, onto his faithful steed and ride with her into 
the sunset. But looking out the window she saw no traces of the sun anymore, 
and the night was calling her name. She had to earn her living or she would definitely pay with her dignity. The little she had left. 

Buck returned to the table where his friend sat, finally alone. 

-How could you leave me alone like that?- Ike signed, a terrified look on his face. 

"I couldn't rob you of that lipstick mark, now could I?" Buck chuckled, pointing at his friend's cheek. 

Ike rubbed it with his sleeve, and angry look on his face. Buck laughed even 
harder, turning to see his redheaded acquaintance leave for the top floor with a much older man. He stopped laughing, taking a sip of his drink instead. 

-You wish you were him?- Ike asked, pointing up the stairs. 

"No." 

-No? Not even a little?- 

"No!" Buck insisted, a redness spreading across his cheeks. 

-I bet you don't.- Ike smiled a sarcastic grin for himself, also taking a sip at his 
soft drink. 
 

The two soon retired to their respective hotel rooms, saying goodnight. Buck's room was around the corner from Ike's, and he bumped into someone as he continued down the hall. 

"I'm sorry, ma'am," he apologized immediately, kneeling to help her up. 

"Kate!" 

"You remembered my name," Kate nodded, rising with his firm help. 

"I've never known a Kate before," Buck smiled. 

"Well, you're a sweet talker and you can make a woman fall head over feet…" 
Kate smiled, brushing off her now dark green dress. "What else do you do?" 

Buck smiled, couldn't help but notice how the velvet outfit made her green eyes shine, reflecting the smile on her face. 

"What are you staring at?" she asked, still smiling warmly at him. 

"Nothing… Um, are you like off for tonight, or…?" Buck stuttered, desperate to keep the conversation going. He couldn't see her just walk off, not with the warm and tingling feeling in his belly. 

"I am, yes," she nodded politely. 

They stood for a moment just looking at each other. 

"Well, I should…" Buck began, politeness coming before his own pleasure. Kate must be tired… 

"You wanna come inside with me? Just to talk, I'm really not tired, and you seem pretty awake too…" Kate suggested almost nervously, looking at her boots for a moment. 

"Sure. I couldn't sleep anyway, it's… it's too hot," Buck answered instantly, 
unable to believe his luck. 

"Then come on, it's right around the corner," Kate smiled. 
 

Chapter 2

They sat in Kate's hotel room and chatted, both explaining their business in Salt Lake. Kate told him how she had lost her family in the plague three years earlier, and ended up at the same mission school Buck and Ike went to. They never met, because she was often ill and kept on one side of the mission and one side only. The nuns would not have her running around with her diseases. 

"That's so weird," Buck exclaimed. 

"I know. I can't believe it either!" Kate smiled. 

"Funny we would meet here, like this…" 

"Yeah…" Kate agreed, then fell silent. 

"Uh, if you don't mind me asking, but how did you end up working at the saloon? You're educated, probably very gifted. So why?" Buck asked. 

"When I left the mission I couldn't find a job. I came here to try my luck, and the only offer I got was from the saloon. I took it, since I was only supposed to clean and cook some, but things kinda changed…" 

"How?" 

"The saloon owner, Barry, he needed new girls, and one day he simply told me to get properly dressed and go downstairs. It was awful, it still is, but at least I get paid and I have a place to stay." 

Buck contemplated what she had just told him, looking into those emerald green eyes, loosing himself for a moment, feeling her pain. 

"I can't begin to imagine what it must be like…" he started. 

"It's getting better, it doesn't feel so bad anymore. When I was new, it felt like it went on for hours, but I've realized it's only a few minutes now. They just finish 
up, so to speak," Kate smiled weakly. 

"Still, it must be awful," Buck said, looking at his hands, which were moist with nervousness. 

"Only when I'm on my own, thinking about it. Then it's really dreadful. But I've come to terms with my situation, and unless I get pregnant I'm okay for as long 
as I stay attractive. God, why am I telling you this…" she smiled embarrassed, looking up at the ceiling. 

"Do you believe in faith?" Buck asked suddenly, yanking her back to the present. 

"Sometimes. Depends on what happens. If it's good I believe in faith, otherwise 
it's just a bad day," she smiled. 

Buck smiled too, again looking into her face, his feelings in a wild stir in his belly, making him want to do things he had never even dreamt of before. 

"It feels like I've known you somehow… I can't believe we never met at the mission!" 

"You know, I feel it too… When I look at you, I just…" she burst out laughing, but became serious shortly. 

"I know, I know," Buck smiled widely, chuckling softly. 

"Weird, ain't it?" 

"Maybe we met in a previous life, or something?" Kate giggled. 

"Must have been, definitely…" 

They both regained their composure and looked at each other again. Buck's whole body felt so warm he couldn't even begin to wonder what was wrong, his 
fingertips actually aching, so desperate to touch her. 

"How did you and friend meet?" Kate asked suddenly. 

"At the mission school. He, well almost, saved me from some drunks in town one night. He's the best friend I've ever had. He won't believe you actually went to the same mission!" Buck smiled, unable to let go of the strange coincidence. 

"So, um… What are you planning on doing? With your life and so?" Kate asked, trying to remember all those questions and bits of conversation she had imagined she would have with this young man. I thought of you all night, Buck Cross, if you only knew… 

"I dunno… Maybe at least try to get a lasting job somewhere… I really don't 
know. And you?" 

Kate started to deliver thoughts she had never before shared with anyone, telling him all those things she wanted her Prince Charming to know. Hopefully, it would make him more interested in her, would make him look at her more than once. 
She knew Buck had stared at her earlier, and in a discrete way he still did, and just thinking he might actually like her made her warm smile even wider on her lips. 

Buck laughed with her whenever she said something funny, and she giggled softly at his charming jokes and thoughts. Neither of them had ever before experienced 
a such easy-going friendship, both having a blast just telling the other about their pasts. Somehow all the sad and bitter parts of their lives had been wiped out, and they could only recall the happy moments. And so they shared these moments with the other. 

Kate was laughing herself to tears, doubling over as Buck revealed a very embarrassing incident from when he and his brother had played on the horseback and Buck had fallen off, his butt naked body covered in cactus needles. A very beautiful woman of the Kiowa tribe had helped him get them out. 

"She really did that? Boy, she must have liked you a lot!" Kate squealed, falling 
flat onto the bed, laughing until she could barely breathe. 

Buck hesitantly lay down on his side, watching the exquisite young woman beside him as she collected herself. 

"I wish I had something like that to tell my grandchildren!" she smiled. 

"Well, I'd let you borrow my story, but it's so good I want it for my grandchildren," Buck said, unconsciously helping her get some hair out of her face. 

Kate suddenly stiffened. What did he just do? His next actions not only surprised her, but she was also fighting a sudden hunger in the pit of her stomach as he slowly, carefully leant down to place a feather-light kiss on her pinkish lips. 

He pulled back, silently looking down at her pretty face, trying to etch everything about her to his memory. The faint freckles on her nose and cheeks, the sparkle in her deep green eyes, the light pink contours of her thin and inviting lips. 

She hesitantly let her left hand land on his shoulder, moving behind his head, slowly pulling him down for another kiss. He let his warm lips touch hers. He felt them part, and her tongue touched his. He closed his eyes, parting his lips on instinct, never having received a full French kiss before in his short life. 

And how beautiful it felt. Kate's tongue just quickly touched his, their lips meeting more passionately, the reality feeling very absent. His right hand fell over her, landing on the mattress beside her head as he supported himself above her body. He was becoming short of breath, but Kate still firmly held him in place, her 
tongue swirling the tip of his. When she finally released him, they were both panting somewhat, looking into the other one's eyes. 

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" she asked in a whisper, looking seriously into his face. 

"Is it that obvious?" Buck asked with a redness rising up his cheeks. 

"Not at all, you're just so gentle. If there's something I've learned in my line of work, it's that the experienced men are more rough and violent. You're not like that…" 

"No, I'm definitely not experienced," Buck said, memories flashing before his 
eyes, memories of his first and only girlfriend, Camille. He hadn't seen her in quite some time now, and he had given up on women. He had believed up until this moment, that she had only agreed to be his wife because he was the only man in the tribe with at least a little of her heritage in him, and not because she loved 
him. But looking into Kate's eyes he saw the same longing and yearning he had seen in Camille, though this was at a completely different level. He and Camille 
had been so young, but now, approaching twenty, he felt he knew better what he was feeling. 

"What are you thinking?" Kate's voice brought him back to the present. 

"Oh, nothing…" he grinned, ready for another of those sweet kisses. He couldn't answer quite what it was that Kate had awaken in him, but it felt like a distinct hunger which he was desperate to quench at any cost. He greedily offered his lips to hers, which she accepted with a quick smile, her hands again holding his head 
in place. Buck had never experienced anything of the kind, allowing her hands to comb through his just past the ears long and almost black hair. The itchy feeling grew more intense as her fingers brushed against his ears, making him shiver 
with lust. He broke free, not trusting his own emotions any further. 

"Um… I think it's best if I stay virgin for a little longer," he spoke seriously, hoping with every ounce of his existence that he hadn't upset her. 

"You should be proud of it, you know. If I had had a choice, I would have said that too," Kate smiled, her hands letting go of his head. 

"I don't feel proud," Buck whispered. 

"You'll know when the right moment comes for you, I know you will," Kate spoke, the wisdom far beyond her years obvious in her every thought and statement. Buck admired her even more for that. 

"Thanks," he said, leaning down to kiss her lips lightly. 

"Thank yourself, I couldn't stop," she giggled, stroking his arm. 

Deep down she was amazed over how this night had proceeded from when she 
saw him at the saloon, but she also felt that maybe he just refused a night in her bed because of what she did for a living. If she had been a cook like it was meant from the beginning, then maybe they wouldn't be staring at each other in such awkward silence, both wondering where to go next. But she hoped he had stopped himself because of his own valuations, because he wanted to wait until he knew her better. She smiled and sat up against the headboard. 

"Maybe I should get over to my room, I'm sure you're tired," Buck excused 
himself, but Kate stopped him before he could get off the bed. 

"I have a favor to ask you, and if you don't want to I will respect that. But please hear me out," she said, her voice filled with plea. Buck nodded. 

"If you leave now, I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Can't you please stay?" 

Buck thought for a moment, looking into her begging eyes, her beauty so striking he could almost feel the blow in his face. 

"I know what you mean, I don't think I could sleep either," he spoke honestly, moving to sit beside her. 

"Then will you stay?" 

"I'd be a fool to say no," he smiled, taking her in his arms. 

She let him hold her, sank into his chest, feeling his warmth and strength. She had felt like this with no other man, and flashing back at her childhood she couldn't recall any boy being very nice to her. She had known herself to be hopelessly romantic, often wondered if any of her dreams would come true, but thinking of 
the past few hours with this young man she realized at least a dozen of her most secret wishes had indeed come true already. She smiled, closing her eyes. 

Buck could almost hear her purr in his arms, rested his head on hers, his nerves still tingling with the feeling of her lips against his. He had been alone many 
nights, knew what loneliness she must be feeling living all alone like this, and if all she asked was that he kept her company tonight then so be it. He wanted to give her more, but was afraid to scare her away, now that they were finally so close. 
He closed his eyes too, leaning against the headboard with Kate cuddled in his arms. 
 

Chapter 3

Buck awoke with a slight headache, knowing he had only slept a couple of hours. Kate laid beside him in the bed, which was easy big enough for two. She was still sleeping soundly, fully dressed and seemingly very comfortable. He couldn't help but smile, thinking how beautiful she looked, even with her make-up smudged slightly and her hair messy from the night. 

As if sensing he was watching her, she opened her eyes and smiled back at him. 

"Good morning," Buck said, brushing some hair out of her face, looking down at 
her with wanting in his eyes. 

Around girls and women Buck had always been able to keep himself strict and controlled, but with Kate his mind flooded with thoughts he had no idea what to make of. They seemed to contain both love and lust, in a very mixed and indescribable way. For the first time since he left the Kiowa he wished he could consult the shaman, though he doubted he would ever get those thoughts past his lips. They seemed so private. 

"Yeah, it is," Kate smiled, sitting up also, looking into his eyes with the same wanting. 

"Wonder what time it is," Buck said, slightly embarrassed he couldn't get the thoughts of Kate's body out of his head. 

"Ike must be wondering about me…" 

"Perhaps you better go tell him you're alive," Kate said, grabbing his shoulder just as he was about to climb out of bed. 

"Thanks for staying, I slept like a baby," she smiled, kissing his lips lightly. 

"So did I," he smiled, kissing he back. 

"Liar," Kate mumbled, parting her lips so he could brush his tongue against hers. He was quickly getting the taste for kisses like that, experiencing them as very sensual and almost even satisfying. 

When she pulled back he left the bed instantly. He found his jacket where he had hung it on the bedpost, carried it under his arm as he walked to the door. 

"Guess you'll be working soon, huh?" he asked, couldn't help but be disgusted by the men she had to touch and please, wishing he could snap her away from all that. 

"I start at noon. Maybe we can all have lunch together? You, me and Ike?" 

Buck smiled. "That'll be great, when?" 

"Say, eleven? Then we can spend some time together before I… go to work. 
That's if you want, of course?" Kate seemed distressed and wondered if she was hoping for too much. 

"We'll be there at eleven," Buck nodded with a broad smile, walking out into the hall. 
 

Buck found Ike in his room, still trying to get out of bed. 

"Come on, sleepy-head, we got an appointment!" Buck laughed, pulling his friend up. 

-What?- 

"Do you remember Kate, from last night at the saloon?" 

-Kate? Who is Kate?- Ike wondered, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

"The red-haired woman, the one I talked to!" Buck smiled widely, his friend wondering where he got all that energy. It is so early in the morning! 

-I didn't see who you talked to, you left me with Sherri, remember?- Ike signed, starting to pull on his clothes. 

"Yeah, whatever… Anyway, me and Kate talked all night in her room. She lives 
just down the hall, almost next to me. I even spent the night in her bed," Buck winked, elbowing his friend in the side. 

-No, you didn't.- 

"Yes, I did! Honest, we slept in her bed!" Buck laughed, intending on keeping the rest for Ike to wonder about for himself. 

-So you are not a virgin anymore?- Ike asked, clearly not going to argue if his friend insisted. 

"Work on that one," Buck smiled, turning to the mirror. 

-What was that you said about an appointment?- 

"We're meeting Kate at the saloon at eleven. Then you'll see what a great woman she is!" Buck said excitedly, correcting his hair with his fingers. 

Ike was a bit confused. Buck had never before during their friendship spoken of a member of the different sex as a 'woman'. It had always been 'girl' or some other word boys use to describe a younger person with slightly different physique. 'Woman' had always before meant an older lady, such as the nuns at the mission school. 

-So, she's a woman?- Ike asked with a teasing grin, tying his bandanna around his bald head. 

"She's wonderful, and guess what? She went to the same mission we did!" 

-Really? Then I must have met her already?- 

"Uh-uh, she was ill a lot so she was held mostly in her room and around the girls' side of the mission. Amazing, ain't it?" 

-Which part? That she was ill or that we never met her?- Ike smiled, patting his friend's shoulder. 

"What?" Buck asked at Ike's suspicious grin in the mirror. 

-Work on that one!- 

Buck cast him a tired eye, then returned to fixing his hair. 

-Are you planning on cutting it and getting a shave too?- Ike asked casually, holding back a wide, teasing smile. 

Buck turned around violently, staring his friend straight in the face. 

"What? What did I do?" he asked sternly, his eyes burning with curiosity. 

-Nothing, my friend. You just met a pretty lady and wish she felt the same about you.- 

"I do not!" Buck spat, turning back to the mirror, his stubborn locks still not falling right. 

-Sure you do. What's her name?- Ike asked with a grin that said it all, closely watching his friend's face expression change as he thought of her. 

"Kate… I told you!" 

Ike turned away with a knowing light in his eyes, leaving Buck remembering their kisses and touches with a dreamy smile on his face. 
 

"So, who's this boy you met?" Sherri asked Kate, the two of them standing in front of the mirror at the saloon, fixing themselves up one last time before opening hour. 

"No one…" Kate smiled casually, taking a hair pin in her mouth as she reached behind her head to collect her beautiful curls. 

"No one, huh? Must be a great no one to leave you totally breathless like that!" Sherri teased her friend, turning to adjust her dress. Kate shot back a incoherent sentence, the words coming out like a blur. 

"What was that?" Sherri asked. 

"I'm breathless because I'm about to swallow this pin!" Kate repeated, removing the mentioned item from her mouth. 

"Ah, I see…" Sherri smiled knowingly, pulling her skirts up to look at her boots. 

"No, you don't! Buck is sweet, caring, gentle and really funny!" Kate cried, Sherri laughing loudly. 

"I'm serious! He made me feel so special, so wanted. Not like those buffaloes that come in here every night! He's really something, and he won't leave me alone!" Kate growled, pulling her hair in sudden anger, hair pins flying. 

"Okay, okay, take it easy!" Sherri smiled, serious now, taking her friend's hair in her hands. 

"I'll help you." 

"I just can't stop thinking about him, Sher, what am I to do?" Kate asked in a whimpering tone, looking at herself in the mirror, sighing hopelessly. 

"You never been in love before?" Sherri asked, picking up a pin from the floor. 

"You mean I am now?" 

"Sounds like it. Looks like it. If you feel all warm inside when you think of him, then I believe you might be a little bit in love…" 

Kate smiled to herself, her hands moist with nervousness over meeting him again. 

"Now, you better get out of here before the customers start showing, your shift don't start yet," Sherri said, walking up to the swing doors. 

"He's coming here…" 

"That Buck fella? Is that so wise? You know what Barry will do if he sees you," Sherri warned. 

"He doesn't rule me when I'm off duty," Kate pointed out, sitting herself down at a table, nervously waiting. 

"Suit yourself…" Sherri said, welcoming the first customer of the day inside. 
 

Chapter 4

During their meal, Buck's eyes discretely traveled up and down Kate's body, and 
he at several occasions missed to translate something his best friend signed. He had often seen girls that he would call pretty, but none had ever stirred up such emotions in him that Kate did, and he had never seen himself in bed with another woman. But he felt he had to walk that road with Kate, and soon. He couldn't answer why, it was just a calling in the back of his head. He tried to get those thoughts out of his head, but every time she opened her mouth they came back. He saw only her lips when she spoke, and couldn't wait to feel them against his again. 

"Well, I hate to break this up, it's been real nice, but my shift starts in a moment. But, um…" Kate started, her eyes locking with Buck's. 

Buck met her stare and tried to smile. His cheeks had frozen, and all he saw was her pretty face. She finally managed to leave him with her eyes and excused herself. Buck sat stunned at the table, Ike rising. 

-Are you coming?- 

"Uh, what?" Buck mumbled, still looking after Kate as she climbed the stairs. 

-Let's go.- 

"Where?" Buck frowned, finally taking his hungry eyes off the redhead, who was disappearing upstairs. 

-You want to stay, don't you?- Ike asked. 

"Are you nuts? Of course I'm staying!" 

-I don't have a reason to, you know.- Ike stated. 

"Ike, please, I need to see her again. Besides, we can't just leave," Buck said, feeling he could be honest with his best friend, who had already figured out there was more than friendship between the young Kiowa and his newfound red-haired friend. 

-Okay, one night.- Ike agreed, then motioned for Buck to come with him out. 

Buck reluctantly left his seat at the table, looking up the stairs to hopefully catch 
a glimpse of the beautiful woman who had totally turned his world upside down. But she was nowhere to be seen. 
 

At nightfall Buck dragged Ike along to the saloon, the two of them sitting impatiently at a table for a long hour. 

-Maybe she's quit for the night?- Ike suggested. 

"No, she gets off late. She told me that last night," Buck insisted, leaning his head on his left hand, which was forming a tight fist. 

-What exactly happened last night?- Ike asked, curiosity overcoming him. 

"We talked…" Buck started, not wanting to go further. 

-Just talked?- 

"Yes." 

Ike had to be satisfied with that answer, though he knew by the look in his friend's eye there was more to the story. 

Finally Sherri and Kate came down the stairs, just like the previous night, looking around the room to see if there were any nice guests that might want to have a little fun. Kate looked anxiously at all the faces, trying to see if Buck was somewhere in the dim room, but it was 

Sherri who found him first. 

"Look, there's loverboy," she smiled, pulling her friend's sleeve. 

"Do I look okay?" Kate asked nervously, correcting her skirts. 

"You look fine, young lady. But don't forget you have a job to do." 

With that said Sherri moved toward the bar. Kate stood still on the landing, nervously looking through the room again, a stiff smile parting her lips. For the 
first time since she started to work there she was nervous about meeting the 
men. She had before only been disgusted, but had accepted what she had to do. But tonight she was shaking with nerves. 

She decided to go up to Buck, so it would at least look like she was doing her job. 

She seated herself at the table next to Buck, who smiled widely at her. 

"Evening, boys," she said, her lips parting in a true smile as she looked into Buck's eyes. 

-Hello.- Ike signed, which Kate actually understood, and she nodded in response. 

"Hi," Buck squeezed out, still smiling so his cheeks nearly hurt. 

"Been here long?" Kate asked, Ike glancing at Buck. 

"Awhile," the Kiowa admitted, looking over his shoulder as a man shouted for 
Kate. 

"That's Barry, I need to get to work. But it was nice seeing you again." 

As Kate rose, she leant down to whisper in Buck's ear. 

"Come to my room at midnight." 

Buck smiled and watched her off. 
 

~*~*~*~*~
 

Ike unwillingly retired to his room, watching his friend walk the few paces to 
Kate's door around the corner. He laid on the bed for awhile, thinking about Buck's situation. That Barry fellow had been both big, strong and mean looking, he thought. If he found out about Kate's sneaking around with Buck, there would definitely be trouble. He knew saloon girls had to be fresh and undistracted at work, and able to do whatever was asked of them, without a moment's hesitation. He had seen in Kate there was both distraction and hesitation, and the only time she looked truly happy was when she had her eyes locked on Buck. Ike smiled at the ceiling, happy for his friend, but still worried. 

Something in his belly told him there would be trouble, and soon. He just hoped Buck wouldn't be in the middle of it, or even the cause for it. 
 

Buck entered Kate's room at her call, his hands shaking as they turned the knob. He felt pathetic for being so nervous, wished he could still his racing heart and calm his breathing at least a little. But as he saw Kate it even got worse. She smiled at him, only dressed in a nightgown, which was white with lace details around her wrists and ankles. At the low neck there was lace also, in the shape of flowers and petals. Buck could almost see her dark nipples through the thin fabric, but focused on her face, forcing himself to look into her eyes. But it was hard. 

"Hi," he said. 

"Hi, or what do you say… Goodnight?" Kate smiled. 

"Well…" Buck nodded, contemplating her philosophic thought. 

"Sounds about right, don't it?" the young woman smiled, sitting down on the bed. 

"I'm sorry I'm not properly dressed, but I just hate that dress I need to wear at 
the saloon." 

"That's okay, I probably wouldn't wear anything like that either," Buck smirked nervously, feeling unspeakably relieved as Kate started laughing. 

Her wonderful laughter filled the room, making him chuckled some too. Not because he was very amused with his own remark, but because her laughter was so contagious and wonderful to listen to. He didn't want it to stop. 

"So, what areas didn't we cover yesterday?" Buck asked as her chuckles and giggles finally subsided. 

"Huh?" Kate frowned. 

"Since you invited me here again, I just wondered what we would be talking about?" 

Kate grew silent, biting her lip in a thoughtful expression. She suddenly grabbed 
his hand, placing it at her breast. 

"I don't want to talk," she whispered, lying down on the covers, pulling him stiffly with her. 

 
Chapter 5

Buck's head was swirling with an unbelievable sense of warmth, making him dizzy and excited at the same time. Kate's warm lips brushed against his, her tongue wet against his teeth. He returned the kiss with all the passion he could muster, 
his hand still at her breast, moving slowly up and down. She knew he would not back off this time, even though he was utterly nervous and moving stiffly, trying 
to learn from her moves. 

She started to unbutton his shirt, feeling his breath against her neck increase in speed. She did not leave his neck with her hands, caressed and massaged his muscles there, still kissing his lips wetly. She moved her hands lower, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, letting her hands caress his chest. As her fingers brushed against his nipples he tensed, afraid she would notice his growing arousal between his legs. She wouldn't leave his nipples alone, kept rubbing them between her fingers, contentedly inhaling his manly scent. He suddenly sighed deeply, leaving her lips for a moment, closing his eyes hard. He noticed with sudden fright how he couldn't keep one sane thought while she continued to tease his nipples. He had never heard of this kind of woman to man experience, had only heard bragging of the basic stuff. That fact scared him, and he felt how the ground underneath him was swept away, leaving him hanging in her care. 

Kate was starting to wonder just how much he knew, and tried to recall all those tips and advises her ladyfriends at the saloon had given her. She had worked 
there for some time now, but never had she experienced any joy or pleasure, only the sense of duty to satisfy the men that paid for her time. Her friends had said it was a mental thing just as much as a physical thing. If she didn't believe she was having a good time, she simply wouldn't feel anything special. That made her somewhat scared, as Buck was the inexperienced one and would rely on her knowledge. She was supposed to teach him, not the other way around. 

She rolled him over on his back, pulling his shirt off. In his pants his manhood was growing with the excitement, and his desires, which he had been trying to deny over the past two days, were unleashed and couldn't be stopped. Kate stroked 
her hands over his thin figure, his muscles just barely showing, as did his ribs. He wasn't a very big young man, but well built and in good physical condition. Somehow she was more than certain he would mature even more as he grew 
older, had heard of Native Americans not eating properly, due to the lack of right food for them to find in the wild. She could imagine he had starved as a child, and was now trying to gain those pounds he never had. Oh yes, he would definitely be even more masculine later in life, and Kate could only wish she would be there to see it. 

She sat herself lightly on his stomach, taking his hands and moved them up her thighs, then up under her nightgown. His breathing was increasing in speed again, as was hers, and as she pulled her nightgown off his eyes widened at the sight of her beautiful body. He had seen a woman's breasts before, as married women often didn't care to cover themselves in his village when he grew up. But none of the bodies he had laid eyes on had ever excited him, and certainly not to the level Kate was. He sighed again, letting his hands, located at the beginning of her ribcage, move upward, across her slim front to her breasts. 

"You can touch them, they won't bite," Kate whispered with a seducing smile, again covering his hands with hers, moving them for him. 

She groaned lowly as his fingers moved on their own finally, brushing against her nipples. He figured since his own were so sensitive at her touch, maybe also hers were. He let his fingertips tease them for a minute, and they were instantly hardening. He wanted more of her, and pulled her carefully toward his chest, letting his hands do for her what hers had done for him at her neck and shoulders. After a sensual massage, followed by kisses and some wet strokes with his 
tongue, she too was sighing her pleasure. 

Buck was so overwhelmed with this that he couldn't even remember all the things his brother had taught him, and Red Bear had truly gone into detail with his younger sibling. She was actually and truly enjoying his sweet caress and kisses, and that pleasured him more than anything else he had ever experienced. When she left his mouth and dismounted him, he was at first disappointed. But her 
hands started to pull at the waistband of his pants, and suddenly he was nervous again. He had rapidly grown to like nibbling and caressing, but anything else was just scary and almost humiliating. That he didn't know what to do exactly, and 
that no other woman besides his mother had ever seen his intimate parts, caused him to blush some. But Kate looked into his eyes for a quick moment and 
reassured him that it would be okay. She knew what to do, and she had seen 
many manly parts. 

She opened his pants, and Buck had to close his eyes. He didn't want to see her face expression, just in case he wasn't right in some way. And also he was very embarrassed over his erection, which was still growing. But Kate carefully stroked his length, causing him to harden and sigh once again. He opened his eyes again, and Kate smiled warmly at him. He felt somewhat relieved, but still nervous for whatever would come next. 

Kate pulled his pants off his ankles and let them drop to the floor, both of them 
now all naked part from a silver bracelet on Buck's arm and his medicine pouch around his neck. He removed both items himself, seeing the doubt in Kate's eyes. She knew they both resembled his Kiowa beliefs, and she had no idea what removing them would mean. But he seemed okay without them. 

She wanted to give him a "good start" and wouldn't push him into anything he didn't like. She placed her arm around his back and pulled him with her until he 
was on top. She asked with her eyes if he knew how to continue, and he smiled a nervous smile, kissing her neck again. Inspiration made him carefully bite at her pale skin, and she gasped in pleasure. He moved one shaky hand down to his member, and let it near her opening. He knew most women, or so he had heard, needed more from the foreplay, and he let his hand stroke her belly with a 
softness she had never before experienced from a man. He moved his hand unexpectedly down to her womanly secrets, and started something she had 
never even heard of. Buck felt he must have heard something about pleasuring a woman this way from someone, at a very early age, but he was basically acting 
on instinct and sense of exploring. He rubbed her carefully, finding that certain 
part he had heard women enjoyed having touched. Meanwhile, their lips met and they kissed, slowly letting their tongues explore the other's mouth, Kate's hands stroking Buck's hair and back muscles. 

Buck finally removed his hand from her bud, placing it on her breast instead. Her nipples needed no more attention, but he rubbed them anyway, licking and 
kissing her firm but anonymous chest. Kate was on the edge of her first climax without even knowing it, and his every touch and caress pushed her closer still. When he decided she had to be ready for him, he took a dive into darkness and let his instincts take over again. He entered her slowly, trying to come up with a word to express the feeling that made his entire body quiver. Kate suddenly stiffened, and if her hands hadn't landed firmly on his buttocks he would have pulled out, thinking he must have hurt her, despite his efforts not to. She moaned a long and pleasure filled moan, her legs shaking and toes curling. Her body was filled with sudden lust and an indescribable feeling of electricity. She moaned again as her second orgasm hit her, her internal muscles tightening around Buck's throbbing shaft. He started to move in circles with his hips, closing his eyes as the slow exercise made him harder, sighing in pleasure as her legs buckled behind him. Her knees behind his firm butt cheeks pushed him slowly forward, and his movement became slow, sensual thrusts. Kate was still too overwhelmed by the sudden and very pleasant feeling that had claimed her body for several long moments, and her lust was growing more fierce now, she was desperate for more. She pushed him forward with increased speed, until he started moving in a mixture of thrusts and circles, pleasuring them both and causing Kate to moan again. He himself was afraid to, scared of what he might sound like, and still a little embarrassed. 

She felt warm and moist around him, her every move causing her internal muscles to once again clamp down on him, making him breath harder. She nibbled at his ear, sending electrical spasms through both of them. Buck felt the seed rise through his shaft, and he was so close to releasing he saw lightning in front of his eyes. Kate was climaxing again, needing only one or two more moves from his thrusting hips. As she screamed out in pleasure, he too had to give out a moan. 
He couldn't stop it, and more soon followed. 

Their sweaty dance was coming to an end, but still Buck tried to keep himself thrusting into her, giving her all the pleasure she needed for countless orgasms in a row. His legs constantly stiffened, and eh had to concentrate to grind his hips into hers as she met him. He was moaning freely now, exciting both himself and Kate with the groans that explained his incredible pleasure. 

Kate dug her fingers into his neck as he couldn't hold back a second longer, releasing with a long growl. He thought the orgasm would last forever, and he felt 
a pop in his lower back while the last squirts of seed left him. He fell to his side, 
but Kate followed and they remained joined while Buck was going flaccid. 

She wiped at his damp face, smiling wearily. She was truly exhausted from her experiences, and she could only imagine what Buck was feeling, his eyes carrying a dreamy look as he smiled back. 

"How does it feel to be experienced?" she asked with a giggle, still trying to calm her heart and breath. 

"It's… um…" he started, looking up to his left as if searching his brain archives for a suitable word. 

"You got quite a talent," Kate smiled as if daring him to contradict. 

"You weren't too bad yourself," he smiled just as confidently, kissing her lips lightly. 

"I love you, Kate," he continued in a whisper, kissing her again. 

She smiled at him, hugging his sweaty body against her chest, feeling her breasts squeezed in a pleasant way. They lay for only a few minutes contemplating where their short friendship had gone. They didn't regret any of it, but Buck was getting restless, knowing Ike wouldn't want to stay in Salt Lake for very much longer. 

"Kate?" 

"Mmmhh," she replied, eyes closed with a contended look on her face. 

"Come with us," he begged whispering, kissing her forehead carefully. 

"What?" she asked, looking up. 

"I mean it, come with us." 

"You and Ike? Buck, I can't," Kate stated with a worried frown, letting her hand trace his jaw. 

"Please, I have to be with you," he pleaded, growing scared of losing her. 

"Buck, I want to be with you too, but Barry would kill me if I left. And you. And probably Ike too, just for good measure." 

Buck smiled at first, until realization sank in. She was right, Barry wouldn't allow one of his most attractive girls to just take off. It would surely piss him off for 
sure. 

"Kate, I love you, I really mean that. I miss you already, I can't leave! Not unless you're with me…" he said, cupping her face in his hands. 

"Buck, you're very special, but I couldn't see Barry hurt you. You're much too handsome," Kate smiled, trying to enlighten his mood, but failed. 

"Kate, please consider it. We don't know where we're going, and we don't have much, but I know we can make it. Please…" 

He kissed her deeply, feeling her hands caress his face. When he looked into her eyes he knew the answer there. 

"I'm sorry, Buck." 
 

Chapter 6

Buck tried to enjoy the last few hours they would have together, but it was hard and he just wanted to sink through the hard crust of the Earth and die. He couldn't understand why they had met and shared a such wonderful thing together, if they were just to walk their separate ways and forget about one another. 

He lay with his arms circling Kate's thin body, burying his face in her red curls. She was equally distressed and angry for his coming departure, but she was unable to tell him that. Even though he would occasionally murmur "I love you" in her ear she couldn't answer him. Somehow it felt as if he would forget about her easier if she didn't tell him how she felt. So she bit her lip and caressed the arm around her waist, closing her eyes hard to keep from crying. She hated Barry for keeping her such a prisoner there, and would trade anything to be someone else. But then she wouldn't have met Buck. 
 

Kate awoke at the break of dawn, cuddled up in Buck's arms, her hair tickling his face. She felt his breath on her skin, and had goosebumps all over. She knew he was still sleeping, his heartbeat calmer than ever against her back, and he wasn't moving at all. She turned slowly in his embrace, propping herself up on her elbow with a free look over his face. 

She looked him over and smiled. He truly was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on, and she adored every inch of his face. He was gorgeous! She 
had dreamt of him all night, but in her sleep he wasn't half as beautiful as in real life. He shifted suddenly, almost startling her as if she had been doing something very forbidden, and it took several moments before her heart calmed. He now lay on his back, one arm still around her and the other lingering on his chest, almost falling onto the sheets. She stroked a finger down his ribs and up, causing goosebumps on him too. But still he wasn't waking. He murmured something very lowly, sighing deeply as he settled back to sleep. Kate smiled, her finger 
wandering over his abdomen and back. This time he didn't move, and she continued with her little game. To her dismay he didn't even flinch, and she grew tired of teasing him. 

"Don't stop," he murmured, bringing a new smile on her face. 

"Just how long were you awake?" she asked. 

"Awhile." 

He opened his eyes and looked at her, taking in her beauty with deep breaths. Her hand walked over his belly and suddenly lower. He looked at her with questioning eyes, and she smiled, her hand investigating his member. 

She stroked him until he was starting to grow, her fingers brushing against his testicles. When they did, he felt a spasm taking over his legs, and his erection 
grew a lot bigger instantly. 

"You like that?" she asked with a smile, and he nodded with big eyes. 

"Uh… huh…" 

She pulled the quilt off of them, moving down to his knees, kneeling there. She continued to stroke his length, feeling it harden in her hands, occasionally taking his testicles in her hand for a light squeeze. Buck was gasping occasionally, envying everyone who had ever been treated this way by Kate before. 

She was totally engulfed with this new experience, feeling the need to discover exactly what he liked and disliked. She had never before cared to give any man 
any extra pleasure, and this was as new to her as it was to Buck. Of course, she would never tell him that. 

She could see in his eyes he wanted more, and began to touch his engorged head with her thumb, rubbing it until he thought he would scream. His head dug deep into the pillow, and his back arched every now and then, the spasms more frequent. When Kate's mouth first touched him he thought he was dreaming and wanted to pinch himself. But the feeling was real, and her sucking and licking 
made his knees totally weak. He closed his eyes, seeing bright lights as she continued to use her lips and tongue to pleasure him. 

Kate had heard of a very sensitive spot between the man's sac and anus, which she was searching for with her index finger of her right hand. When she was more than certain she had found it, she let her hand cup his balls and the finger press at that spot. Her other hand was rubbing his length, her thumb stroking the sensitive underside. Her mouth continued to suck at his head, and very soon he was moaning so loudly everyone must have heard it. And the more pleasure he got out of it, the better she felt. 

When he was suddenly starting to scream out in pure bliss, she knew he was 
close. His loud screams continued until he released, his head tossing from side to side, the most wonderful feeling ever overcoming him. He moaned for several moments and it took a lot of self-control to finally look up at Kate. She laid down beside him, stroking his chest. A dozen questions came through his head, but he couldn't get them out, still feeling tingles of electricity down his legs. Kate only smiled, satisfied that she had given him such a wonderful experience. 

"Kate, come with us," he suddenly begged, his hands moving to embrace her. 

"You know I can't, Buck," she whispered, placing her head against his chest, tears of desperation rising to her eyes. He mustn't see I'm crying! 

"How am I supposed to go on without you?" he asked in a whisper, moving one hand to touch her hair. 

"You barely know me, Buck," Kate stated, deciding she would rather push him away now than later. 

"Of course I do! We've talked so much, we've shared the same memories without even knowing it, of course I know you!" he objected. 

"No, you know nothing about me, and I know nothing about you. Forget about it, Buck, go on with your life." 

Buck was tensing suddenly, freezing as if a cold breeze had swept through the room. He found it hard to believe Kate was being sincere, but he didn't want to disbelieve her. 

"Kate, you don't…" 

A fierce knock on the door startled both of them, and Ike came running into the room a second later. 

"Ike! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Buck cried, feeling as if all the 
anger for his apparently unanswered love for Kate came bubbling to the surface. 

Ike stopped in the middle of the room, looking at the two in the bed. He shook his head, then rushed out again, just as quickly as he had come in. 

"Ike!" Buck called after him, but received no answer. 

Buck rushed out of bed and found his trousers, pulling them on as he advanced 
the door, running out in the hall. Kate remained in bed, unable to know what to think, her every emotion in turmoil. She couldn't think straight and wanted 
nothing else than Buck beside her again, and to feel his warm body against hers. She heard him call for his best friend out in the hall. 
 

~*~*~*~*~
 

"Ike, wait!" Buck called angrily, catching up just before they reached the stairs. 

"What the hell's wrong with you?!" 

-What's wrong with you? She's a whore!- Ike signed just as angrily, his eyes piercing Buck's. 

"I should hit you for that, but not until you tell me what you were doing running in there like that," Buck said calmly, taking his friend by the shoulders. 

"Answer me!" 

Ike sighed, looking into his friend's face, a hot anger burning in his bottomless eyes. 

-There's trouble coming your way. The saloon owner is looking for whoever took Kate from her shift last night.- 

"What do you mean? Trouble?" 

-Kate wasn't off last night when you…- Ike hesitated. -Were together. She snuck off her shift. Barry is after you.- 

"Relax, he doesn't know it was me, how would he?" Buck asked, his mood lighter now. 

-Sherri told him. He beat her, and she came to tell me this morning.- Ike signed, looking really worried. 

"He beat Sherri?" 

-Yes. She was all blue. We must leave, he will do the same to you. Sherri said he would kill you, and that he really means it when he says that. Come on!- Ike urged his friend toward their rooms, taking Buck's arm. 

"I can't, Ike, I can't leave her, I need to be with her!" Buck objected desperately. 

-Does she need you as much?- Ike asked. 

"I think so. Ike, I must see her!" 

-How many times have you said you love her? How many times has she answered?- 

Buck looked down, and Ike nodded. 

-Thought so. She's just leading you on, she doesn't need you! Now come on 
before Barry kills you!- 

Buck's head was hanging, and he couldn't understand why these things happened to him, time and time again. He followed Ike, turning into Kate's room with heavy steps. 

It was all empty. He looked around, turning out in the hall, then back into the 
room. He scrambled together his clothes, stopping only momentarily to take in 
her scent which was lingering in the air. He bid a silent goodbye, then closed the door behind him. As the breeze from the door swirled in the room, a note on the bed lifted briefly and fell back onto the soft pillow. 

"I love you, Buck, and I will follow you wherever you choose to go. I'm waiting at the saloon for you. Love always, Kate." 
 

Epilogue

Ike stopped his horse to wait for Buck. They had been riding on for four days, and Buck had only become more and more moody, letting everyone they met know exactly how he felt. Ike knew he was to blame, but he couldn't see his best friend in all the world get hurt. If Sherri believed Barry would kill Buck if he found him, then they had no choice but to leave. Or did they? Ike had thought about 
returning several times, anything to make Buck feel better, but he couldn't go 
back knowing they would get in trouble again. He just wished Buck would see that as time passed. 

Buck barely ate, drank only when he was really thirsty and slept only when his body desperately needed it. He could feel himself slowly dying away, but paid it little attention. All he could think about was Kate, and he tried to remember all those things about her that had captured him so. He wished he had stayed awake that night after their wonderful intimacy, so he had just watched her sleep. Then 
he would probably know better what she looked like, and he would remember that forever. Now he was scared sick he would forget something, some exquisite 
detail. He went over her body in his mind over and over, recollecting her features, her shapes and her curves. When he thought of her he heard nor saw nothing 
else, and he would often be yanked back to reality when his horse made a sudden move or stumbled. Those moments were the worst, for they made him see just how little he actually remembered about her, and how fast he would forget. 
 

A month later Buck was sick, and Ike guessed it was from his apparent lack of interest in living. He coughed almost all the time, and often started the day by vomiting. He thought he was being discrete, rising at the break of dawn, but Ike knew exactly what was going on. He saw in his friend's eyes there was nothing he could say to make him see just what he was doing to his own body, but watching him kill himself was torture. Ike didn't get his chance to bring him back until the day when Buck collapsed of exhaustion. 

He took him to a mission not far away, where the nuns took the two boys in with open arms. Especially after Ike's explanation to what happened. "There is no 
force stronger than love," he heard one of the nuns say. "Especially love for God!" another cut in, removing Buck's shirt to cover him with a thick blanket. 

The days seemed like years, and it took almost three weeks before Buck could sit up in bed without fainting. Ike remained at his side, constantly trying to persuade him to allow himself to get better. Another four weeks later the two rode on, and Ike took it on himself to make sure Buck ate and slept properly. 

They found a number of odd jobs along the way, and for every day that passed Ike realized what a changed young man Buck had turned into. He barely ever smiled, and the wistful, witty boy he first got to know was long gone. Ike wondered if he would ever return, and noticed Buck never even looked at the girls they met. He had become moodier and moodier, constantly leaning back against all the wisdom he had heard of as a child, and whatever happened Buck had something really thoughtful and wise to say. But never a smile to go with it. 

Until the day they signed up for The Pony Express, and left for Sweetwater. A new life lay ahead of them, and Ike soon realized his friend found several allies in the other boys at the station. He still wasn't the same, and only spoke when spoken 
to, but he did smile occasionally, and Kate wasn't taking up all of his mind anymore. But Ike knew he still thought of her, even when he desperately tried to forget her, by occasionally dating some girl he got acquainted with. But they all reminded Ike of Kate somehow, and it always ended the same way. Only 
difference was, none of them managed to hurt him the way Kate did, and Ike was glad his friend was finally starting to forget about her. But in his heart he knew Buck would always long for the woman with the red curls and green eyes. The woman who both captured him and set him free.