Chapter 8

Several weeks went by and there still was no change in Buck’s condition. 
Teaspoon and Kid made a backboard so they could sit him upright. The doctor felt that it might help keep fluids from building in his lungs. 

Someone was with him at all times, talking to him, touching him. The doctor showed them how to massage muscles and they moved his joints, hoping the stimulation might awaken him. But he showed no signs of change. The doctor 
could only shake his head and wonder how the young man was still alive. The visible wounds were healing well. It was the one the doctor couldn’t see that was still the problem. 

A week after the incident Jimmy showed up on their doorstep. The reunion was bittersweet. But everyone fell into routine, as if no time had passed since they 
had last been together. 
 

Jen was kneeling by Buck’s bedside six weeks after his injury. They were all 
trying not to give up hope, but as each day, then week, went by they each began to have doubts. But no one spoke them out loud. Teaspoon had just come back from town and been in to talk to Buck. Then he went out to see if he could help Kid and Jimmy in the barn. Watching this boy that he thought of as his son was breaking his heart. It was obvious to all of them that he was growing weaker. 
Dark circles appeared under his eyes, his ribs showed as he lost weight, broth not being enough to sustain him for such a length of time. At least the bandages had been removed. 

“Kid and Jimmy are down in the barn right now.” She told him. “The painted mare just foaled. Kid says it should bring a good price.” She studied his face, saw no reaction. They all were feeling frustrated, trying to find something that would 
bring him back to them. 

Out of habit, she reached up and placed her hand on his chest as she talked, her fingers moving slightly, tracing his ribs or gently rubbing his nipple. It hardened slightly as it usually did. She was always amazed at the response of the body 
when there seemed to be no response from the brain. When they were alone together she would kiss him. The lack of response often left her feeling empty, 
but she did it to feel close to him, let him know she was there. 

She kissed him now, feeling his warm breath on her lips. She moved her tongue against his lips, parting them, and slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Desire closed in on her and she kissed him harder. Suddenly she jerked away, her eyes studying the still man in front of her. Then she kissed him again. She hadn’t imagined it. She jumped to her feet and ran to the window. Throwing it open, she started yelling. When she saw the first person emerge from the barn she returned to Buck’s side, kissing him again to reassure herself. Then she watched his face some more. 

She heard the pounding of feet coming up the stairs. Teaspoon and Emma entered first, closely followed by the others, worry on all their faces. 

“Jen? What’s happened?” Teaspoon asked, almost afraid to approach the two on the bed. Tears were falling down the young woman’s face and they all feared the worst had finally happened. 

“He responded to me. I know he did. His eyes are even moving. You can see it behind his lids.” 

Emma moved closer, studying the boy’s face. Her hand reached out and touched his cheek. She did see slight eye movement in response to her touch. She looked up and nodded her head. 

“I’ll go get Doc.” Jimmy said, casting one last glance at his friend before running down the stairs and out to the barn. 

“Jennifer, what exactly happened?” Teaspoon asked as they all crowded around the bed, needing to see for themselves. 

“I…well I kissed him. And I know that his tongue moved against mine. I even 
think that his lips might have moved.” She seemed a little embarrassed admitting to the passion of the kiss. It hadn’t been a peck on the cheek, but a kiss that was reserved for lovers. But then she realized that they all had that figured out anyway. 

“Buck?” Teaspoon said a little louder. “Time to wake up son. Come on boy.” There was slight movement of his eyes. Emma jumped when she felt a tiny bit of movement of one finger of his left hand. She had been clutching the hand. She picked it up, running a nail against his fingertip. It moved just a bit. 

Kid held Lou close, hugging her from behind. She stood with her hands clutched in front of her mouth, her eyes not leaving her friend. Emma did the same thing with Buck’s right hand and got no response. Jen had moved to Buck’s right side and 
was sitting up on the bed, her hand touching his shoulder. 

“Buck?” Emma tried next. Inspiration caught her and her next words were “Rider up Buck!” Everyone smiled at the phrase, knowing that for eighteen short months they had all jumped automatically into action when the words were called. Buck’s eyelids fluttered and the room erupted in noise. Emma clutched his hand to her cheek as the index finger moved ever so slightly. 

Even Teaspoon had a hard time holding back the tears. 
 

They all waited impatiently in the sitting room while the doctor did his 
examination. Only Emma had been allowed to remain upstairs to assist the 
doctor. 

He finally came down after more than an hour, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“Well?” Jimmy demanded when the doctor didn’t say anything at first. 

“I don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it.” The doctor said, almost to himself. 

“Doc, please!” Teaspoon responded. 

“He’s resting. Really resting. His breathing is more regular than it’s been and I really think that he has entered actual sleep.” 

“What do you mean sleep? Ain’t that what he’s been doing all along?” Jimmy asked. 

“Not really. Coma is not sleep or rest. We do know that much.” The doctor began rummaging through his bag, checking to see if he had all his equipment before he left. When he snapped it closed again he continued. “I don’t know how or why, but 
I think he now has a chance of making it. Let him sleep, keep feeding him broth 
and tea, and come get me when he wakes up. I’ll be back tomorrow unless you come get me sooner.” 

With that the man walked out the door. Teaspoon followed him out, asking the doctor what they should expect. Jen headed to the stairs and the others followed quietly, not wanting to wake their sleeping friend. 

None of them were sure if they imagined it or not, but they each thought they 
saw a change in the sleeping man. 
 

Jen lay on the bed next to Buck, curled on her side, one hand lying on his chest, 
her eyes watching it rise and fall. Emma sat in her rocker next to the bed, some mending in her hands, but her head had dropped to her chest. They were all exhausted. They had spent the whole night awake, watching the young man 
sleep, each wanting to know the moment he should awaken. Teaspoon had told them what he had heard from the doctor, that when Buck awoke, and the word 
had been when and not if, they could not expect for him not to have changed in some way. There might be little changes or signs of his injury. Or the changes could be radical and the young man may not even react to them, spending the 
rest of his life unable to function in even the smallest manner. 

As morning had broken and there was still no sign of him wakening, they all 
drifted off. Teaspoon was asleep leaning against the doorframe, Kid had Lou curled in his arms on the floor against the bed, and Jimmy was on the floor near the window. 

Jen’s hand ran over Buck’s chest. Every so often she would look up at his face to see if there were any changes. But her eyes were getting heavy and she was having a hard time staying awake. She caught the motion through partially closed eyes and it took several moments before it registered in her brain. She sat up and stared as Emma stirred. They both watched as Buck’s fingers curled into his palm. Their gaze moved up to his face where they saw his eyes fluttering open. 

“Buck?” Jen said softly as Emma moved out of the chair and to his side. Their movements were enough to wake the others and they all looked toward the bed, staggering to their feet, Kid and Lou wiping sleep from their eyes, Jimmy and Teaspoon instantly wide awake. 

“Mmmm.” Came a soft sound from the young man. His hand tried to lift from the bed, but he was very weak and it only rose an inch or so before falling back to the bed. His eyes opened slowly. 

“Wake up son. Come on.” Teaspoon encouraged. 

“Where?” The word was barely audible. It was obviously a struggle to even try to utter a single word. 

“You’re back at the station house son. Everyone’s here. Even Emma.” 

“Umma?” The word was slurred slightly, but he wasn’t fully awake yet. They tried not to read anything into his condition just yet. 

“Right here Buck. I’m right here.” 

“Wa…ter.” Emma poured a glass and held it to his lips. He managed to take two swallows before stopping. But it did seem to refresh him a little because his eyes were now fully open and moving towards any sound. 

“Turn…lamp. Dark. Can’t…” The effort took what little strength Buck had and his eyes fluttered closed once more. 

The family looked at each other. The room was bathed in bright sunlight. 

 
Chapter 9

The group was stunned. Even though they had been warned that Buck might have problems, they had all been hopeful. 

“Well, it doesn’t really mean nothin’.” Teaspoon said, fighting back a surge of emotion. “He was barely awake. Things might be different next time.” 

“That’s true.” Emma added. “You know what we need? Some breakfast. Lou why don’t you come help me.” The two women reluctantly left the room, choosing activity to distract them. Kid and Jimmy headed to the barn to feed the animals. Teaspoon stood for a few minutes watching Jen. 

“It’s still early Jen. Don’t worry. That boy doesn’t give up. He’s a fighter.” 

“But he’s so weak Teaspoon.” 

“I know girl, I know.” 
 

She was lying next to him once more when he awoke the second time. He could feel her hand rubbing gently against his chest, playing with his nipple. He 
struggled to open his eyes, but even when he thought they were open he could 
see no difference. 

“Jen?” his voice sounded distant to him. 

“Buck? You’re really awake!” 

“Mmm. Water?” he asked. 

“Of course.” He felt the bed move and heard her footsteps. Moments later he felt 
a glass pressed against his lips. He was so thirsty. She pulled it away before his thirst was quenched. “You need to go easy. Not too much at once.” 

“Mmm.” He tried to lift his hand again but settled for wiggling the fingers. His 
right arm felt strange, kind of tingly, and he couldn’t tell if his fingers moved there or not. 

“I’m glad you’re finally awake.” She said. Jen leaned down and kissed him and he responded. He could hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs and the door opening. Jen pulled away. 

“I thought I heard sound up here! Welcome back Buck.” 

“Emma? What are you doing back?” It was still an effort to talk. He was so tired. But he didn’t want to sleep. He wanted information. He heard a window open and Emma yelled something. Then he heard her return to his side. Jen had returned to the bed next to him. He felt Emma’s hand on his forehead, pushing stray hairs out of the way. 

“I came back to help care for you. You gave everyone quit a scare.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Nothing to be sorry about. The others will be up here soon. They were out in the barn.” 

“Mmm.” 

“Tired?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can you try to stay awake just a little while longer? The others really want to 
talk to you.” Emma studied his face. His eyes appeared unfocused. 

“Yeah. Sure.” But he wasn’t sure he would be able to. His head hurt. He could remember bits about what had happened, not liking what he remembered. He 
also didn’t like the results. Then again, he had accepted death. He would learn to live with darkness. Because that was what he saw. 

He heard running footsteps and several people enter the room. The noise only made his head thump harder. He did see something. Small bright spots of light swam around in the darkness. 

“Hey Buck.” 

“Kid.” 

“How ya feeling son?” 

“Head hurts. Jen? You all right?” 

“I’m fine Buck. You were there for me again.” 

“Mmm.” He acknowledged her comment, but didn’t understand it right at the moment. He was sure it would make sense later. When his head stopped hurting. 

“You’d best hurry out of that bed Buck Cross, cuz I’m tired of doing your work for you.” 

“Jimmy? How’d you get here so fast?” 

Teaspoon looked at the others, then sat on the edge of his bed. 

“Son, you’ve been in a coma for over six weeks. You’ve been hurt pretty bad.” 

“Six weeks?” His head kept thumping. He closed his eyes and let the news sink in. Six weeks. That was a long time. 

“I’ll go fetch the doctor.” He heard Jimmy say. 

“Good idea. We should let him sleep some more.” Teaspoon said. The others said good byes. He felt hands touch his shoulder and Lou place a kiss on his cheek. 

“We love you Buck.” She said. 

“Me too Lou.” He heard their steps recede. 

“Can you stay awake to eat a little broth?” Emma asked. 

“I’ll try.” 

“Then I’ll be right back.” 

“Teaspoon?” he said as he felt the man rise from the bed. The man sat back down. 

“I can’t see Teaspoon.” 

“Nothing?” 

Buck started to shake his head but thought twice about it. “It’s all black.” 

“Doesn’t mean yet that it’s permanent. You still got some healing to do. Let’s not start worrying yet.” 

“You said it’s been six weeks.” 

“I know son. The doc will be here a little later. We’ll see what he has to say.” His hand rested on Buck’s left arm. He gave it a squeeze. “Don’t worry.” 

Teaspoon rose and left the room. 

“Jen, you still here?” 

“Right by you side.” 

“I can’t seem to lift my arm. So tired…” He paused for a moment gathering strength. “Would you, umm, would you put your arms around me? I want to feel you close to me.” 

She lifted his right arm and placed it around her shoulder. It slipped to the bed behind her as she wrapped her arm around his chest. She studied his face, his 
eyes unfocused, then she leaned in for a kiss. He returned it, needily. 

 
Chapter 10

The doctor spent well over an hour checking Buck over. He had allowed both Lou and Emma to stay, but Jen was clearly worn out and he had insisted that she lay down before he even began his examination of Buck. It didn’t really take much to convince her to curl up on the cot in Emma’s spare room. 

The doctor spent extra time checking Buck’s eyes and poking his fingers and feet with probes, looking for signs that he registered feeling there. Buck was drifting 
off to sleep before the doctor even finished. The doctor pulled the two women out onto the landing to talk. 

“There seems to be a slight loss of sensation on his right side. Some of that may just be because he’s very weak. Once he gains back his strength it may not even be noticeable.” 

“His right side? But the injury was on the left.” Emma asked. 

“It’s one of those things we don’t understand, but injuries on the right side effect the left side of the body and vice versa.” 

“What about his eyesight? That will improve with time too, won’t it?” 

“I’ve got to be honest with you. It’s doubtful. There might be some change as he continues to heal, but after all this time I have strong doubts you’ll notice much change at all.” 

“So you’re saying he’ll probably be blind for the rest of his life?” Lou asked, realization sinking in. 

“It looks that way. Let’s get him started on something other than broth. Thin oatmeal or mush, maybe some mashed potatoes. Soft food. Then add something for flavor, to keep his interest. He won’t feel like eating, since he’s had no real 
food in awhile. And he shouldn’t eat a lot at one sitting. Small amounts and 
often.” The doctor picked up his bag. 

“I’ll go make him something. He’s not sleeping hard. We’ll get him to eat when he awakens.” Emma walked out with the doctor to inform the others waiting below. Lou moved over to the bed taking a seat in the rocker next to it. 

“Lou?” His voice came out as a tired whisper. 

“Now how did you know it was me?” she asked as she stood and moved to the bedside. His eyes were partially open. She kneeled there and reached out, resting her hand on his arm. 

“I could tell by the sound of your walk.” 

“Now Buck, you’ve only been awake a short time. How could you know my walk by now?” Her voice was soft and as lighthearted as she could make it. 

“I’ve always known it. I slept in the same room as you for almost two years. I 
knew who was moving around at night just by the sound.” He paused, as if to gather his thoughts, or his strength. “Knew when you snuck into Kid’s bunk at 
night too.” 

“Why Buck Cross! Why didn’t you let us know?” 

“None of my business.” His brows knit together, an indication of the pain he was in. 

“Hurting bad?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What if I rub your temples? That helps me.” 

“All right.” 

Lou reached behind him and helped him sit up, holding his head while she slipped behind him, letting him rest back against her chest, his head on her shoulder. She began to gently rub his temples, her chin leaning against the top of his head gently. 

“Better?” she whispered. 

“Some. Thank you.” His eyes had closed and his head lay heavy against her shoulder. 

“What did the doctor say?” he asked just as she decided he must have fallen asleep. 

“That you’re gonna be just fine with a little more rest and some of Emma’s good cooking. She’s fixing you something right now.” 

“The truth Lou. I could always count on you for the truth.” 

She hated being the one to tell him. Teaspoon was much better at these things. 
But she was stuck. She couldn’t lie to him. 

“You’ve lost some feeling on your right side, but he doesn’t think it will be a problem after you recover some. The stab wound has heeled just fine.” 

“Stab wound?” 

“Black Wolf tried to kill you with a knife. He got you in the left shoulder.” 

“It was Black Wolf that took Jen?” 

“You didn’t know that?” 

“Didn’t see him. Hit me from behind.” 

“He’s dead now. Kid shot him before he could use the knife on you again.” Lou thought maybe she’d get lucky and not have to finish the doctor’s prognosis. But he wasn’t going to let that happen. 

“Lou, what about…?” 

“He doesn’t think your eyesight will improve much. But he’s not positive. They don’t know much about head wounds. And he doesn’t know you.” 

He was quiet for a long while but she knew he wasn’t asleep. His breathing was a little too fast. 

“Thank you.” He finally said and they lapsed into silence once more. 

“Lou?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m afraid.” 

“I know.” Her arms moved to embrace him around the shoulders in a protective hug. “It’s gonna be all right. I promise.” 

Emma found them both sound asleep like that a few minutes later. 

 
Chapter 11

Over the next several days Buck became more and more alert. The headaches stayed with him, sometimes so bad that he wanted to scream. But he didn’t. The women still cared for his every need, feeding him, bathing him. He gained 
strength very slowly. It was three days before he even was able to lift his arm 
from the bed. He had very little muscular control. Holding his head up took more effort than it was worth because the pain increased when he tried to do so. 

The doctor had showed them exercises and massages to help him regain movement. Four times everyday any two of them descended upon him to bend his legs and elbows and massage underused muscle. It was painful. In between they might sit and rub the cramps away. 

When they would finally let him rest it was only after shifting his position, laying him on his side and stomach. Emma would sit for hours and rub his back, trying to relax him so he might sleep. But the thumping in his head was beginning to interrupt even that. He almost wished for the days when all he did was sleep. 

Even Buck could tell that Emma was wearing down. They all were, but Emma seemed to look more tired, even after she had rested. When Sam came to visit, which he had tried to do every other week, at least for a few days, they finally divulged why. They told Buck first, hoping the news would bolster his spirits. 

Emma was upstairs when Sam arrived. Lou and the men were in the barn and Jen was sleeping. She had taken on Buck’s night care, finding that she enjoyed the time alone with him, even if he did sleep most of the time. They still had some wakeful moments together. And Teaspoon always slept on a cot against the far wall in case she needed assistance. 

Emma rarely left his side during the day, unless it was to fix him a small meal, which she usually had to force him to eat. He wasn’t being difficult, he just lacked an appetite. Lou took over during the evenings so that Emma could take a break. 

Sam climbed the stairs and entered the room slowly. The others had told him that Buck was finally out of the coma, but he was quiet in case the boy was sleeping. 
He stood in the door watching his wife washing the young man’s neck, chest and arms. Buck lay on the bed quietly, his eyes closed, not asleep but humiliated by the circumstances. Sam cleared his throat when Emma started to turn down the sheet to wash Buck’s legs and more private areas. 

“Sam!” Emma tugged at the sheet to make sure Buck was covered and stood to greet her husband. Buck’s eyes crept open and followed the sound out of habit. 

“Hello Darlin’.” Sam took her into his arms and gave her a kiss. His hand dropped 
to her stomach, which was just beginning to show a hint of roundness. “How is everyone?” 

“Why everyone is doin’ just fine. Look, he’s awake.” They held hands as they walked toward the bed. 

“So I heard. How ya feeling Buck? You really gave everyone a scare.” 

“Could be feeling worse, I guess. Sorry to take your wife away. But it’s been nice having her here.” 

“It’s alright Buck. I wish it was under different circumstances, but I’m glad we 
were so close by. She’d probably have been sitting all by herself in Fort Kearney anyway, so it worked out just fine for her to stay here. I’d rather she were here anyway.” 

Sam looked at her, eyebrows lifted in question and pointing to her stomach. 
Emma nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Buck, some people say that when a person is in a coma they can hear what’s being said around them. That’s why Doc told us to talk to you. When I first got 
here I told you I had news that I would share with you when you awoke. Well, 
you’ll be the second to know. We’re gonna have a baby.” 

As the news sank in to his pain addled brain a smile broke across his face, the first they’d seen from him in months. 

“That’s great! Congratulations! Sam, I’d shake your hand if I could.” 

“Well, I’ll help ya out there.” He reached down and took Buck’s hand, shaking it. Buck could feel a slight pressure from the grasp. This was good. Feeling was increasing. 

“We’ve also decided to move back to Sweetwater.” Emma added. 

“Yeah, with the baby coming I don’t want Emma following me around as much. 
The travel would be too much. I’ve gotten permission to work out of Sweetwater and they’ve changed my territory a little to accommodate it.” 

“It’ll be good to have you two back here. More like old times. So you’ll be sharing an office with Teaspoon?” 

“I suppose I’ll need a desk there, but I won’t be there much. I’ll still be traveling a lot. That’s why I wanted Emma and the baby back here. They’ll have the lot of you around when I’m gone to keep her on her toes.” 

“Yeah well, we do the best we can…” 

“He needs to rest Sam. Why don’t you go down stairs and get something to eat. 
I’ll be down when Lou comes in to take over.” 

“Emma, go spend some time with your husband. I’ll be fine.” His voice was 
already drifting off. 

“I don’t know Buck…” 

“Go. I’ll yell if I need anything.” 

“Well, all right. I’ll just be a few minutes.” 

Buck closed his eyes, knowing that Emma would watch him until she thought he was asleep. When she left the room his eyes opened again. He wouldn’t be able to sleep just yet. His head was throbbing right now and sleep was out of the question. 
 

“This was the first experience I’ve had dealing with a head wound of this degree and someone surviving it. So I sent a telegram back east to a few Universities 
and hospitals for some advice. I’ve received several replies saying that they feel surgery could help with the shooting pains you’re feeling.” 

“Surgery? How could that help?” Teaspoon asked. The doctor had gathered Emma and Teaspoon when he went to discuss this with Buck. 

“They seem to think that a bone chip might have lodged in his brain, or that a fragment is pressing against the brain itself. That could cause those sharp pains. The chip could be removed surgically.” 

“And the pain would stop?” Buck asked. His head was leaning against the headboard. It was too painful to move it much. 

“That’s what they think. I gotta tell you though, there’s no guarantee. It might not change things at all. It might not even be the cause. And there might not even be 
a fragment or chip there, but it feels like it to me. The area where you were hit 
feels very rough, very irregular.” 

“But there are possible complications. Surgery on the brain is a very new science. You could go back into a coma. You could awaken in worse condition than you are now. Or you might not even survive.” 

“Then he shouldn’t have the surgery. Not if he could die. He’ll get better 
eventually without it won’t he?” Emma jumped in, concern and fear in her voice. 

“No. I want to get better. I want to continue living. But I can’t this way. The pain 
is too great. There have been nights when I’ve prayed to the Gods that they take my life. Do the surgery.” 

Teaspoon studied the young man. Until that moment, none of them had realized just how much pain the boy had been in the past two weeks, ever since he had awoke. 

“When can you do it Doc?” Teaspoon asked, the decision made as far as he was concerned. Emma looked at him, then nodded, resigned to the decision. 

“I can’t. Or rather I won’t. I’ve never tried anything like this before and I don’t 
want to run the risk. But there is a doctor in Denver that is willing to come out and do it. He can be here in two days. All I have to do is wire him.” 

“Do it.” Teaspoon said. 

 
Chapter 12

The surgery was done three days later. Neither doctor wanted to put Buck 
through the discomfort of a ride into town, so they operated in Emma’s house, on the dining table. Old Doc Barnes assisted Doctor Neal with the delicate work with Sam controlling the anesthetic. Emma wanted to be there, but Sam had put his 
foot down. She was tired enough and Sam wanted to help where he could. They also ruled Teaspoon out as being too close to the situation. Neither doctor wanted the man in with them if something went wrong. 

So the family members were once again banished out of the house to wait, hour 
by agonizing hour. The operation had started in the morning and didn’t end until afternoon. They had found a small piece of bone that had wedged itself into the soft tissue. Doctor Neal also maneuvered a large piece of Buck’s skull back into alignment with the rest. 

There was a great deal of bleeding, as with all head wounds, and Buck lost a lot. Sam watched the whole thing, fascinated. He had seen a lot of wounds over the years and not much bothered him anymore. The three men worked quietly, finally ending the procedure by immobilizing Buck’s head, tying it to a board slipped 
under his head and shoulders. The wound needed to heal, the bone to knit, before Buck would be allowed to move around. He would be allowed to sit up with the 
use of a backboard and move his limbs but his head must not shift. It was like splinting a broken arm or leg. 

Buck would be living with a small hole in his skull about the size of a pea. 
 

He slept for four days. Both doctors reassured them that it was indeed sleep and not coma. 

When he awoke, he still had headaches, but he told everyone over and over that they weren’t as bad as before. 

His progress was much quicker now, his determination greater. 

His strength began to return and it wasn’t long before he had movement of all his limbs, although his right side was still sluggish, but even that was improving. Feeding himself was also a chore, his hand shaking too much yet to get more than a bite or two of food before spilling it all over himself. And because he was still confined to bed he was still at the mercy of others for his basic needs. 

He thought he should be getting used to that by now, but it was still humiliating to him. 

Now that pain didn’t totally consume him, time seemed to stand still. Jen had moved back to sleeping during the night on a cot in Buck’s room, so the women took turns staying with him during the day, trying to keep him distracted. They would read books and go over the operations of the ranch. 

The men came in to sit with him often. Jimmy especially seemed to be able to 
push all the right buttons to make Buck try harder at the exercises they still 
helped him with. But then Jimmy had always been good at that. 

Cody stopped by when his Army unit was in the area, full of guilt for not being 
able to visit sooner. He was only able to stay a few days. 

And they finally heard from Rachel, who had taken an unexpected trip back East 
to visit a cousin. The telegram Kid sent had taken two months to catch up to her, 
as she had spent much of the time touring the eastern coast. Kid sent off another message updating her on Buck’s condition and reassured her that he was well on the way to recovery. 

One morning, two weeks after surgery, Jimmy had the duty of staying inside. The women had all gone into town for a much deserved break, spending the morning shopping and visiting friends. Emma swore they would be back by lunch. Among other reasons she was beginning to tire more easily and she had begun taking a nap in the afternoon, forcing Buck to do so also, even though he swore he no 
longer needed or wanted to sleep that much. 

Jimmy didn’t mind at all, finding the duty far less strenuous than mucking out the barn stalls. He had already harassed Buck as much as he dared, finding that his friend’s strength was indeed increasing. When Buck had been pushing his fist against Jimmy’s palm he had actually pushed Jimmy backward. 

So he decided it was best not to give Buck a hard time. They sat in silence for awhile, until Buck broke it. 

“Jimmy? I want to try and walk. I need out of this bed. Will you help me?” 

“I don’t think so, Buck. You may have just knocked me backward, but I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” 

“You owe me Jimmy. Remember the time that…” 

“Don’t even go there, Buck. If I help you up and Emma finds out she’ll skin me 
alive and probably you too just for good measure.” 

“She won’t find out. How would she. Okay, okay, I know we’re talking about 
Emma. She knows everything.” 

“That she does.” 

“But you’re gonna help me anyway.” 

Jimmy shook his head as he moved closer to the bed. 

“Of course I am.” 

Jimmy helped Buck sit forward and swing to the edge of the bed. Then he sat next to Buck and placed his friends left arm over his shoulder and his own arm around Buck’s back. Slowly the two stood. Buck’s legs threatened to buckle under him, 
but Jimmy held him upright. Tentatively, Buck took a step forward. 

“What are you two doing?” Emma exclaimed from the doorway. Then she rushed forward to take Buck’s other arm. 

“Walking.” He replied. 

“Is that what you call this?” 

“I guess I’d call it more trying to walk.” 

“Yeah, that would be more like it. And you Jimmy should know better.” 

“Buck’s a grown man. Seems he should be able to make a few decisions for himself.” 

“And you shouldn’t have encouraged him.” 

“Didn’t encourage him. Just kept him from falling on his face.” 

“Well at least you did that.” 

The whole time Emma was scolding the two young men she was supporting Buck as he took several more shaky steps, turning him back and walking him toward 
the bed. Emma and Jimmy helped him back down and under the covers. 

“Now I’m gonna go fix some lunch. You two stay out of trouble while I’m gone.” 

“Emma? Thank you.” Buck called after her. 

 
Chapter 13

Buck lay awake listening to the sounds of the night. Coyote sang to the moon. Crickets searched for mates, their sound filling the air in a comforting lullaby. The horses stomped and snorted before settling in. 

He heard Emma and Sam retire for the night, heard the bunkhouse door close as Jimmy did the same. Kid and Lou had gone back to their home. Teaspoon had not returned from town and Buck knew he had stayed in town. Quiet descended on 
the station house and Buck was wide-awake. 

“Buck?” He heard her whisper from across the room. 

“Hmmm?” 

“Can’t you sleep?” 

“No.” 

“Are you in pain?” She got up from the cot under the far window and moved cat-like across the room. 

“Not really. Just not tired.” 

“Can I help?” Jen sat at his side, her hand reaching out to rest on his chest. 

“Just what did you have in mind?” His mind headed back to a day, and night, that now seemed ages ago. 

“Maybe a massage?” Her hand moved over his chest, her fingers playing mindlessly with his nipple. 

“Is that what you call it?” His voice was growing husky, beyond his control. 

“We could call it that.” Jen leaned over and kissed him, her lips parting to accept his tongue. His hand came up to touch her face. It still shook just slightly. 

She stared into his eyes when she pulled away, the full moon casting enough 
light to see by. Smiling, she stood and lifted the nightgown she wore over her 
head, and he heard it drop to the floor behind her. Then she pulled the sheets 
back and tugged at the waistband of his long johns. 

“Jen, I’m not sure…” 

“It’s all right. If it happens, then great. If it doesn’t, then we’ll see how far we get and enjoy that much.” She crawled up onto the bed and straddled his chest. Leaning forward carefully, not wanting to touch his head, she offered her breast 
to his mouth, slipping the nipple between his lips. His hands reached up to touch her as he began to play with the firm little nugget she gave him, sucking gently 
and running his tongue over the tip. Her hands rested gently on his shoulders while he tasted her. Her breathing grew rapid. But she wanted much more. 

Pulling away she began to kiss him, moving from his lips to his jaw and down his neck to his shoulders. She paused at his nipples on her way down, sucking on 
them until they, too, were hard. Then she kept going downward, her breasts moving against his skin as she went. As she traveled she ran her finger around his navel until her mouth caught up. She traced the path of dark hair further down 
with her hand, stopping just short of touching his member. Her mouth headed straight there, taking him inside her and sliding him as far in as she could. She moved up and down on his shaft, the muscle responding to the warmth of her mouth and caress of her tongue. She pulled him out, stopping at the tip and sucking on it. Then her mouth moved down to his scrotum, her tongue moving 
over him before sucking first one testicle and then the other. Making her way back to the tip she was pleased to see that he was erect. She took him in her mouth again for good measure before straddling him once more. She slipped him inside her moist tunnel. 
 

Sam stood outside the bedroom door, catching sight of Jen’s alabaster skin as she moved on top of Buck, her small breasts moving up and down. He backed away 
and headed quietly back down the stairs. He entered the lower bedroom and crawled back under the covers with his wife. 

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked sleepily. 

“Just fine Darlin’.” 

They both heard the slight creek of a bedspring before silence descended again. 

“Maybe I should check.” Emma said, still not quite awake, but devoted to the young man’s care. 

“Now Emma. Jen is up there. She can take care of him. And if there’s something she can’t handle, she’ll ask for help. He’s fine.” He drew her close to him, his hand resting on her swelling belly. 
 

Jen moved slowly and gently, her internal muscles working him. She sighed. Her hands moved up and down his chest as his moved up her thighs to her center. His thumb roughly found her nub and as gently as he could rubbed against it. She gasped, shivers running up her spine. 

He was breathing heavily, feeling himself hardening even more as she worked 
him inside her. His eyes closed in contentment. She was managing to move on top of him with a minimum of noise, just an occasional creak or groan of the bedsprings. In the back of his mind he hoped no one heard, and if they did, that they would just assume he was shifting position. 

They were still silent as Jen began to move faster, her breathing increasing just slightly in her excitement. She threw her head back, her long blond hair cascading down her back. 

Buck knew he was close, too close. She was incredibly tight around him, bringing him along very quickly. 

“Jen!” he whispered, but his voice was lost on her as she continued to ride him. She was gasping slightly, loud enough that only he could hear. Then she held her breath as she pulled up, almost pulling him out of her, then slid back down to his base. Without realizing it she tightened her muscles even more and he exploded inside her as she collapsed forward on his chest. She kept him inside her as she leaned forward to kiss him. 

They both slept very well that night. 

 
Chapter 14

Jimmy began spending his lunch breaks upstairs with Buck and Emma, helping Buck begin to walk again. They all noticed the sluggishness in his right side as that leg kept threatening to give out. But they never let him fall. He wouldn’t have considered trying this without at least one of them at his side. His balance was affected and he kept leaning forward, a characteristic that many people had when first becoming blind. The head brace didn’t help much either. 

The exercise managed to tire Buck out and he no longer objected to resting in the afternoon. Emma would crawl up onto the bed next to him to nap herself. 

Buck was the first to hear their visitors as they climbed the stairs. Realizing that Emma was still asleep next to him, he reached over and touched her shoulder, shaking her gently awake. 

“Hmmm?” she asked sleepily. 

“We have company.” Buck had recognized Doc Barnes’ steps, but not those of the other man. 

Emma sat up as the men knocked gently on the open door. 

“Afternoon Doc.” She said as she moved slowly off the bed. “Doctor Neal! We 
didn’t expect to see you back here. Can I get you gentlemen some coffee?” 

“No thank you Emma. I’m on my way to Fort Kearney, but I wanted to stop and 
see how Buck was doing.” Dr. Neal said as he sat his bag down on the nightstand. “So how are you feeling? How about the headaches? Still getting them?” 

“Still have one, but it’s no where as bad as it was, just kind of always there. I can usually ignore it. How soon before this board can go?” 

“How about today?” Dr. Neal sat on the edge of the bed and began his exam. 

Dr. Neal untied the board from Buck’s head and chest, then unwrapped the bandages from around the incision. Satisfied with the way it was healing, he wrapped fresh bandages around it again and checked reactions in Buck’s limbs 
and fingers. 

“Any change in the eyesight?” he finally asked Buck. 

“No, not really. Still just seeing a lot of black with some bright spots occasionally. Sometimes more spots than others.” 

“Buck, you realize that there may never be a change now. The more time that 
goes by with no improvement, well it could mean that you’ve got what you’ve got.” 

“I know.” 

“Have you thought about the next step? There are special places that can help 
you deal with your blindness, that can teach you how to function.” 

“We can do that here doctor.” Emma spoke up. “We don’t want to send him away. He’s got family here that will help him learn everything he needs to learn.” 

“That’s good to hear.” Doctor Neal snapped his bag closed. “I can recommend some books that might help out. I would have to say that there’s nothing more either of us can do.” He said indicating Doc Barnes at his side. “The rest is up to you young man. Go easy. Be careful of the head. The incision is healing well, but if you overdo right away, you’ll regret it. Try to get on with your life. And good luck 
to you.” 

“Thanks Doctor.” Buck said quietly. Relief mixed with despair. He was being allowed to finally get out of bed with the doctor’s permission instead of on the sly, which meant that he would soon be able to move back to the bunkhouse and get back to normal. But there was despair knowing that he would never be normal again. He had held out a small sliver of hope that his sight would return. The doctor’s recommendation that he go away to learn to deal with his blindness meant that the doctor had no hope. It was final. 

Emma walked the doctors outside then headed over to the barn. She invited Kid and Lou to stay for supper and asked one of them to ride into town and make sure that Teaspoon and Sam would be there too. Then she pulled Jimmy aside and explained her plan. 

When the chores were finished, Jimmy slipped away and headed into the house and up the stairs. Emma was keeping Jen busy helping with supper. When Lou came inside Emma managed to keep her from heading upstairs to visit her friend. 

“But I haven’t seen him all day, Emma.” 

“I know, but he needs a little time to himself right now. In the mean time I need some help with supper.” 

“Jimmy’s with him.” 

“Okay he needs some man time. Now chop.” 

Lou looked to Jen for reinforcement. 

“Sorry Lou, she won’t let me go up either.” 

She kept the girls busy until the others arrived and dinner was ready to serve. 
She had everyone take a seat. 

“Okay Emma, now what’s up. This is very nice, but what’s the occasion?” 
Teaspoon asked from the head of the table. 

“We’re going to celebrate.” 

“Celebrate what Emma?” Kid asked. 

“This.” She moved to the bottom of the stairs. “Okay Jimmy!” she called out. 

Step by slow step Jimmy helped Buck maneuver the stairs. He was barefoot but dressed, clean white bandages around his head the only obvious sign of injury. He was indeed weak and shaky, leaning heavily on Jimmy, but he was upright and moving. 

Lou moved her hands up to her mouth, tears clouding her eyes, while the others broke into smiles. 

“Well, I’ll be.” Teaspoon said quietly. 

Kid and Jen both moved to help as Buck and Jimmy reached the bottom step, but Emma held her hand up to stop them. They moved back to their seats as the two kept moving slowly until they reached the chair next to Jen’s. 

“Right in front of you.” Jimmy said lowly as Buck reached out to grab the back of the chair. “Move to the left. That’s it.” 

“Shall we eat?” Emma asked as Buck then Jimmy sat. “Mr. Spoon, would you say grace?” 

Buck felt uncomfortable during the meal, even though he knew he was among family that would not judge him for what had become his fate, but only wanted to help. He had no confidence in his ability to eat a meal without most of it landing on him instead of in him, and his head sometimes felt as though it were wobbling or floating on his shoulders. 

If he made a mess of himself or embarrassed himself in any way, no one made comment on it. Jimmy seemed to take on Buck as his responsibility for this meal anyway, quietly telling him where each item on his plate was located, the mashed potatoes to the east, roast to the south, his water glass to the northeast. 

Emma finally agreed with Buck that she and Sam move back to their bedroom and Buck take the spare room on the main floor. Emma agreed, only because Buck would not have to maneuver the stairs as he got back on his feet. For Buck it 
would relieve some of the guilt he felt at Emma having to take care of him so much. 

And it was one step closer to returning to the bunkhouse. Which, if he thought about it, was not necessarily a plus. After all, Jimmy was sleeping there and Jen would not be able to slip into his bed after everyone was asleep as she had been for several days now. It was the one time during his day that being blind didn’t matter. 

Buck pushed himself. He was quickly walking on his own. Eating was still difficult, but he kept at it. Keeping his balance was the most difficult of all. An additional dilemma was the sharp, lightening bolt pains that started up as he began moving more frequently. They snuck up on him without warning. They weren’t frequent, once or maybe twice a day, but they always caught him off guard. 

Still, it wasn’t long before he was trying to navigate the lower level of Emma’s house, walking into the same table or chair repeatedly. His shins began to show the marks. 

With the ability to move about came frustration. He had been able to ignore the fact that he couldn’t see anything up till now because there had been little to see, just the four walls of Emma’s bedroom. But now the loss was obvious. His temper occasionally rose to the surface. 

Emma could only watch as the young man wandered about the house, trying to adjust. She felt powerless to help, at least now. Doctor Neal had promised to send some ideas that might help Buck adjust to a life to be lived in darkness. 

 
Chapter 15

Buck stood out on the porch of the house, his face turned to the late morning sun. His expression was a mixture of anger and sadness. 

Emma watched him from the parlor window, her arms crossed over her expanding stomach. She worried about the young man. He had become withdrawn the last couple of days. This morning he had made his way to the door, and with just a moment’s hesitation had found the knob and walked out. He’d been standing 
there for hours now. She finally couldn’t stand it any longer and joined him by the rail. 

“Buck, you know you can talk about it.” 

Buck was silent, his jaw moving slightly. 

“None of us know exactly what you’re feeling, what you’re going through. But 
we’ll all listen to you if you feel like talking about it. And we all want to help.” 

“Nothing anyone can do, so why talk about it?” 

“Might make you feel better.” 

When Buck was silent once more, Emma turned to leave, her hand resting briefly on his arm. 

“Did you know that the horses make a different sound when Kid comes around 
than when Jimmy does? If you listen real careful you can hear the creek half a mile from here. There’s a pair of doves in the trees behind the bunkhouse. There’s a storm building to the west. You can probably see the clouds by now. And the child in you is growing and sitting low. I can tell the change in your walk. The women in my village would say that you were carrying a boy.” 

“Buck, you may be blind, but you see more than most people.” Emma replied as she looked to the west and saw dark clouds building, her hand rubbing against her stomach. The child was indeed low. She walked over to the young man and took him by the chin, forcing him to move his face toward her. She placed a kiss on his cheek. Then she took him by the hand and pulled him toward the porch steps. 

“Emma? What are you doing?” 

“We’re going for a little walk.” 

“Emma….” 

“Shush. Now you’re at the steps. Use the handrail and feel them with your foot. Come on. That’s it. Okay feel the next one. Good. Keep coming.” Buck slowly took one step at a time until he was on the path in front of the house. 

“The gate is straight ahead of you. Count the steps. A little to the right. Good, good. Just a little further.” 

Buck’s left hand had moved out in front of him. He stopped when he felt the fence post. 

“Now tell me what you see from here.” 

Buck closed his eyes, a picture of the station yard in his head. 

“The bunkhouse is that way.” He pointed directly to the building. “There’s one of the dogs lying in the shade of the barn and the grey mustang is in the corral. 
There are flowers blooming in your garden. The lilies I think.” He paused for a moment. “The clouds aren’t overhead yet. And there’s a rider coming.” 

Emma’s head swung toward town and saw the small figure on horseback approaching. It took several moments before she could hear the drumming of the horse’s hooves. She could tell almost immediately who the rider was, some memories never faded. 

“It’s Jimmy.” She replied and the two waited for Jimmy to ride up. The rider stopped at the fence, pleased to see his friend outside. 

“Hey Buck. Emma, this came for you from Doctor Neal.” Jimmy said as he dismounted and handed the woman a thick package about the size of a book. 

“Thank you Jimmy. Where are the others?” 

“Teaspoon is helping Sam out with some wanted posters and such. Jen is in town talking to her father. Maybe I should say fighting instead of talking. And Kid and 
Lou headed over to their place to work on the barn. I’m goin’ over to help as soon as I grab a few tools and check on a couple of the horses. That black’s been acting up a bit and I wanted to make sure he hasn’t busted the stall. And the roan was lookin’ a little bloated. Wanna come to the barn with me Buck?” 

The two men walked off as Emma took the book into the house and began to read. 
 

Buck was determined to relearn as many things that he used to do as he could. Ideas poured out of all of them, supplemented by ideas from the book that Dr. 
Neal had sent. Ropes lead from the house to some places, other paths were marked with posts every few feet or with rock or wood embedded in the dirt 
where Buck could feel them. He had already learned to count paces, and he 
quickly learned how many steps it took him to reach the barn, corral and bunkhouse. 

His sense of hearing and smell, already sharp from early childhood training, increased. His strength returned, and except for occasional trouble on his right side, he was back to his original physical condition. Emma constantly resisted the urge to help him as he struggled with tasks that once were second nature. 

Summer turned to early fall and with it came warm days and cool nights. Buck could hear the geese flying as he worked at the woodpile one afternoon. Winter wasn’t far away and they would need a supply of wood for the stove laid in. 

Emma stood at the window watching as Buck worked at splitting small logs into stove size pieces. He would feel the log and carefully drop the hatchet into the 
end. Then he would lift the hatchet with the log wedged on the end and swing downward against a tree stump to split it. Then he would pick up the two pieces, feel them to make sure they were the right size, and stack them in a pile to his side. It took him longer than it would have taken Jimmy or Kid, but he was being useful. And it freed Jimmy up to do other work. 

When Buck suddenly froze in place, Emma knew something was wrong. She left 
the house, calling his name as she stepped off the porch. 

“Don’t come any closer Emma!” He yelled, still not moving. 

“Buck what’s wrong?” 

“Rattler. And I can’t tell where it is.” 

With the cooler nights upon them, rattlesnakes usually started to find places to hibernate for the winter. But when the days were warm, almost hot actually, they came out looking for sunny places to warm themselves before crawling back in for the night. Apparently one had found a spot in the woodpile and Buck had just disturbed its nap. 

“Okay. Keep still. I’ll see if I can see it.” Emma moved closer, scanning the 
ground. She couldn’t see the reptile, but she heard it’s ominous rattle. “I can’t 
find it Buck. Jimmy’s in the barn. I’m going after him.” 

She moved slowly until she was well away from the woodpile, then hurried 
toward the barn. Soon Jimmy and Jen both rushed toward Buck. They both 
stopped short. The rattler had wound its way out of the wood and now lay at 
Buck’s feet. 

“Buck?” Jimmy whispered as loud as he could, not wanting to startle the creature. 

“I know.” Buck said even quieter. 

“Just don’t move.” Jimmy said as he pulled his gun from its holster. 

“Don’t worry.” Buck said as he heard the revolver go off. When he heard the 
others moving toward him, he stepped away from the snake’s carcass. On the outside he appeared calm. But inside he was shaking.