Xander felt like he was dreaming. It had to be a dream didn't it? This floating sensation, the pain that he had experienced earlier disappearing almost to the point of non-existence. Yes, but there it was. Just enough pain to make Xander sure that he wasn't dead. *I mean you don't feel pain after death, do you?* Xander thought for an instant that he might be in hell before his mind registered on the fact that he had that floating sensation. *Floating equals heaven, right?*

Xander didn't want to be dead. There was so much more he wanted to do with his life. He didn't want to leave his friends behind so quickly, especially Spike and Angel. Xander didn't want Spike to blame himself for what had happened to him. Then there was Angel, Mr. Broody Pants himself, who would no doubt heap piles of guilty goodness on himself for not stopping Xander, even though Angel had no way of knowing what he had been up to.

Xander walked around the room. It looked like the inside of one of those old Greek temples they had studied in history. Xander had always been fascinated with architecture and had often stopped to watch some of the high-rises being built in Los Angeles. He was just admiring the marble walls when he heard footsteps approaching.

Xander slowly turned, hoping and praying to anyone that would listen that this wasn't hell and there wasn't going to be some ugly, slimy demon he had to kill or whatever to get out of this room and back to his friends. Xander was surprised when he turned and found a woman and a man, dressed in black togas standing before him. They had blue markings over their bodies. The man had blonde hair and the woman had dark hair which was pulled up off her shoulders and held back with a tiara type headband.

Before he could say anything, he heard the young man say, "Come before us, lower being." Xander stepped towards them not knowing what to expect.

"Uh, hey there. Would you like to tell me where I am? Am I in hell? Or is this heaven? I'm hoping it's the last one."

"You are neither in heaven or hell, simply in a different reality." The blonde man answered him.

"Oh, that's just great. Time travel for Xander Harris. Look, I don't mean to be rude or anything but I have to get back to my friends. I have a feeling they're worried sick about me and I'm thinking I don't have much time."

"I like time," the woman told him, smiling. "There's so little and so much of it."

"Which one would you say you have?" the man asked.

"Oh, great. Leave it to me to find a woman who happens to speak in riddles, and a man who sounds like one of my high school psyche teachers." Xander threw his hands up in frustration as he yelled at the ceiling, "Is this some kind of a joke? Some karmic prank played on me to make me pay for all those lame jokes I threw around back on Earth?"

"I assure you this is no prank," the man said. "We are what is known as the Oracles."

"A conduit if you will, to the Powers That Be," the woman filled him in.

Xander was stunned. He had heard Angel and Doyle talking about the PTB but never the Oracles. He wondered if Doyle knew about them, before he asked the question that was on his mind. "What am I doing here?"

"Do you not know who we are little one?" the woman asked.

"What? Me, little. No I wouldn't consider me little, possibly young but certainly not little." When the two of them looked at him with amusement, he just smiled. "So are you the guys that send Doyle his visions, and make Angel fight the bad guys?"

"We do not make the souled vampire do anything. Angel chooses to help because he wishes to atone for his past life." the man said defensively.

"Oh, shit. Is that what I'm here for? I have to atone for the bad things I did in my life? Will I have to brood a lot and wear hair gel and stuff like Angel does?" Xander asked. "Cause I got to tell you something about myself. I'm not much of a brooder. I can't sit still or stop talking long enough to brood. If you don't believe me, call up any of my friends and ask them. As for the hair gel, well I know Angel and Spike look really cool and actually pretty hot wearing it but if I were to try it I would just look like a dork. Did I tell you that I tend to babble when I'm nervous or I don't know what the hell is going on?"

"What is going on is that the Powers That Be have brought you to us, for whatever reason, because you help the warriors of the light. You fight alongside the slayer and our champion, Angel. We do not understand why a mere mortal like you would want to do this. No one called you for this mission, like the slayer was called and you have no need for atonement like our champion. This puzzles us." the woman told him.

"I do it because they're my friends and they need my help, however little I'm able to give them. So these Powers That Be want to poke a little fun at me, tell me I'm a liability and to leave the evil killing to the people that can actually handle it?" Xander asked, angry and a little hurt at the thought of these people making fun of him.

"On the contrary. They want us to reward you for your longtime service and your recent destruction of the Initiative. The slayer was slated to remove them but she let her emotions get in the way. She let her worries and doubts about this group get soothed by people stroking her ego and her love for the young man she's been seeing. The slayer lost her way and stepped from the path we were directing her down." the man said.

"Will Buffy get in trouble for doing that losing her path thing you were talking about? Won't they like look at her track record and realize that she's done more good than not and let this Initiative thing kinda slide or something?" Xander asked them, worried about his friend.

"We don't punish our warriors nor do we force them in any given direction. We only observe and give signs to them hoping they take the path chosen for them." the woman told him.

"Oh, well what you said earlier about the Initiative. Did we manage to destroy it? Is it gone for good?"

"Yes, you have destroyed the Initiative. However, the few soldiers with pure motives will join the slayer and her boyfriend in the fight against the evil forces that surround the Hellmouth." she assured him.

"Riley betrayed me. He knew I was trying to help Buffy and yet he blindsided me. Now you say him and a few of his goons are going to help Buffy control the Hellmouth? I find that difficult to believe."

"Riley is loyal as are you. He thought what he believed in was true, that he was doing some good. When all is made clear, he will be lost for a time, but he will soon see the light and will place his loyalty with the slayer," the man said.

"Hope it's sooner than later. So does Spike manage to get the chip out of his head? And if he does, will he start killing again?"

"We cannot tell you the future. It is not permitted," the woman told him.

"Wait a minute. You just told me about Riley's future but now all of the sudden you can't tell me Spike's? What gives?" Xander asked, angry that they would not let him know whether his friend would be alright and how everything would turn out.

"We only told you about Riley so that you would not interfere again. While the Powers are happy that you stepped up this time, the soldiers that will turn in the direction we hope will be much needed later on." the man explained. "No more questions that cannot be answered. Tell us what you want for your reward so you may receive it and go." He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"Rude much. I didn't ask to be here you know, pal. You brought me here, not the other way around. And I have to think this over. I mean I didn't go after the Initiative for a reward. I did it because it was the right thing to do." Xander argued.

"We know that. That is why you are receiving this gift. It was an unselfish act of kindness for your friends that caused you to attack this place. If it were for any other reason, you would not be standing before us now. So tell, us what it is you want. Immortality? Special skills or enhanced strength. Name it and it will be yours." the woman said.

Xander's mind was reeling at the thought of the many powers he had always imagined he could have. But he knew deep down inside what he really wanted and it had nothing to do with him, well directly anyway. His mind settled on a few things before he posed his next question. "Before I decide, you said Riley and the others would be pointed in their direction. Which direction should I go?"

"As we told you before, we cannot tell you the outcome of anyone's futures, including your own. Only give you clues to guide you along, much like we did with Doyle and Angel. What you do with them will be up to you." the man explained.

"Know only that there will be many battles and ups and downs in all of your lives, as is the way with humans," the woman added.

"While we're on the subject of Doyle and Angel, would you please answer a few more questions and then I'll give you my decision?" Xander waited as the pair exchanged a glance before each of them nodded. "Why does Doyle have to suffer so much with these visions? Can't they just pop into his head like thoughts? I mean, he's doing you guys a favor and he has to suffer for that? It's not really fair."

"Not much in life is fair. However, we will strive to make them less traumatic , but he must feel some of the pain the victim is feeling to be able to sense what is going on so that he may guide Angel to them," the woman explained.

"Oh, well I see your point." Xander admitted.

"So what is your desire? We must be going soon, as you must also. Be forewarned however, that your body is still healing and there will be some discomfort. There will also be emotional conflict as well." When Xander went to open his mouth, the woman held up her hand. "Do not ask. We cannot tell you. Remember though, that this gift will only be offered once, so make it your heart's desire."

"I can't decide between two things. I don't know which to choose. One thing concerns Angel's problem and the other one has to do with Spike's," Xander told them truthfully.

"Nothing for yourself?" the man asked, astonished that the young boy was not grabbing up immortality or something like that.

"Actually it is for myself. See, if you watch things as you say you do then it has come to your attention that Angel and Spike used to be enemies of mine. However, within the past month or so, I've come to care about them. I respect and admire them a lot. Angel's taught me to fight, Spike's listened to my problems and they've done everything that most of my friends didn't do. Now I want to repay them. I don't know which one to help though."

"What are you talking about? What problem does Angel have that we do not know about?" the man asked.

"Hello. Human to higher being here. Did you skip out during the commercials or something? Angel can't love anyone. I mean he can, he just can't act on it because of the curse on his soul, which by the way is crazy. You say Angel is your champion, yet you let him walk around with a curse that could cause him to revert to one of the biggest, baddest evils of all time. Not too strategic is it?"

"We have no curse on Angel. If you are referring to the gypsy curse of 'pure happiness' that was removed after the slayer sent him to hell. After Angel died in hell the clause was lifted. The Powers That Be merged Angel and Angelus into one person, never to be separated again. Nothing can separate that which we have made one," the woman told Xander as his mouth dropped open in surprise.

"You mean to tell me that Angel can get a happy and still be who he is? All this time and you guys didn't bother to let him know? Something like dropping him a note that said 'Don't be afraid to get laid'?"

"We were under the assumption he already knew that, especially after last night," the man said knowingly while watching the different emotions playing over the boy's face. Confusion and hurt mixed with surprise.

"Angel and Buffy?" The Oracles shook their heads.

"No, Angel and Spike. They were perfectly happy last night in your hospital room," the man said as he watched the boy look like he was going to cry.

"Well, good for them," Xander said, forcing a smile upon his face. He didn't know why he felt hurt about this. Just because he had gotten close to the two vampires didn't mean that he cared in that way. He had Lindsey and they had each other. Everyone should be happy. So why wasn't he? Why all of a sudden was he feeling drawn towards the two vampires and further away from Lindsey? That was the question he had been asking himself a lot lately.

"So now that the issue of Angel's soul has been taken care of what was your other wish. Is this the one you will want?" the woman asked kindly, feeling sorry for the young man in front of her.

"Yes. I want Spike's chip gone for good. Without pain. Just gone." Xander said, trying to control his emotions.

"You want us to grant something that you may wake up and find has already been accomplished?" the man asked. Now he was truly surprised.

"I know we managed to get the records out of the Initiative. I don't know whether they were any help to Spike, though. What if they weren't? All that work would have been for nothing, except for the fact that we managed to rescue our friends. I'm not a man who does something half-assed though, or at least I try not to. If I make my mind up about something, I do it. If I make this wish for my reward, at least I know it will be done. Just do me a favor and don't do it until I can see the look on his face. And don't make it painful, because he's had enough of that. Please." Xander was practically begging. He so wanted to be the one to tell Spike he was free.

The Oracles looked at each other, knowing what was going through the boy's mind, what he was feeling in his heart. They had both been amazed that this mortal would think and feel so unselfishly. Maybe the Powers That Be were right about him. Maybe Xander would play an important role in the battles to come. They only hoped he wouldn't be too hurt when he realized just how wrong he had been to put his trust in Lindsey. They knew that Wolfram and Hart would be the biggest battle of all.

"It will be as you desire then. When you wake up, I will remove the chip. You will know even though there will be no pain. It is up to you whether or not you tell William the Bloody that he is once more free." the woman said as she and her brother turned around and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Xander yelled at them. "How am I supposed to get back?" As the question came from his mouth, the floating sensation and pain came back to him and he was soon lost to the blackness enveloping him once again.

Spike and Angel were going crazy with worry. Their minds barely registered anything that the doctor was saying to them. The only words that kept playing through their minds were "brain damage". What if Xander never woke up? What if he did and there was something wrong? They didn't know which thought was worse. Xander never waking up again, or Xander waking up and not being Xander.

Cordelia and Doyle had been frantic when the doctor had finally exited the room with the nurses close behind. They had rushed in to see the vampires in the same position as before, one on each side of the bed, each holding one of Xander's hands.

"What happened? I thought Xander was doing o.k. last night," Cordelia asked, wanting answers and wanting them now.

"He was. Xander was looking a lot better this morning. His color was coming back and everything," Spike answered, his voice almost a whisper.

"Then why were you holding him down earlier? Why did the doctor push us out the door?" Doyle asked.

"Xander woke up and evidently he was scared by the tube being in his throat, being in the bloody hospital one more time - who knows what he was thinking. He tried to rip it out. Angel and I stopped him. We tried to calm him down but he wouldn't listen."

Cordelia and Doyle looked over at their friend for the first time. The tube was gone and Xander was still breathing. "He's breathing on his own. That's a good sign, yeah?" Doyle asked hopefully.

"The doctor seems to think so, although he said he's never seen anyone react so violently to being incubated before. We don't know what might have caused it. Like Spike said, who knows what was going through his mind. The doctor seems to think that there might have been some damage to his brain from earlier when he couldn't get enough oxygen. That might have caused Xander to fight the oxygen from the ventilator. He almost suffocated himself. They're getting a room ready to do a CAT scan. We'll just have to wait and see."

"God, this can't be happening," Cordelia said, sinking into the chair closest to where she was standing. She put her elbows on her knees and pressed her face into her hands. Doyle walked over and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Do you want me to call the others? We promised Willow we'd call if there were any changes." Doyle asked.

"You can try," Angel told him. "I'm sure they're on their way here already, but we did promise." Doyle nodded and pulled out his cell phone and the slip of paper with Willow's and Buffy's dorm room number on it. He quickly dialed the number and waited for it to ring. After giving it 10 rings, he hung up.

"You must be right. I couldn't get an answer." He was just putting his phone back into his pocket when he heard someone approach Xander's door. Doyle turned and saw Oz and Wesley entering the room. Wesley was carrying some of the papers they had retrieved from the lab and he almost dropped them when Oz reached out his hand to stop him. Oz could feel the tension in the room, could scent the fear and sorrow and he knew something was definitely wrong.

"What's happened?" Oz asked. When Angel or Spike didn't answer, Cordelia and Doyle filled them in on what had happened. Wesley slowly approached the two vampires. He didn't want to add to their pain but they had to know what he had found out about the Initiative.

"Spike, Angel I hate to bother you right now but we need to talk."

"Not now, Wesley."

"But you really must-"

"No, we mustn’t. All we must do is stay here and wait for Xander to wake up, to be alright. Nothing else matters right now. Not the soldiers, the lab, not the fucking bloody chip," Spike growled.

The doctor arrived along with some interns before Wesley could answer him. Spike insisted on moving Xander from the bed himself and he placed the boy gently on the gurney before kissing his forehead. The friends watched as the doctors rolled Xander away for his test. The Scoobie gang had arrived a half hour later, having been filled in on the situation by the doctor who had called Giles' house. Silence filled the room as no one could think of what to say.

Finally, Buffy broke the silence in the room. "Willow, Giles and I talked last night after we left and we've decided that you all may be right. We've been ignoring Xander lately, especially after he told us what he had done to you," she said, looking at Angel.

"Why can't you let that go, Buffy?" Angel asked, tired from everything they had been through the past two days. "I have and I'm not the one who's been his friend for the past four years."

"It's just that Xander played with my life. With our lives. I might have been able to get you back that night if I had known about the spell. Instead, I spent months wandering, trying to put the thought of killing the first man I ever truly loved out of my mind. Don't you understand how hard that was for me?"

"You don't think it was hard for me? I was the one in hell after all. Besides, we all know it couldn't work out for us anyway. Even when I came back, we were either arguing or trying too hard to make something that could never be work. Buffy, don't you see? We can't live in the world of what ifs and maybes. We have to live in the here and now and the truth of this world is I live in Los Angeles and you live in Sunnydale. We have two separate lives now, brought together only by mutual friendships and I think it's better that way."

"Mutual friendships? You mean like Xander?"

"Yes, and also Oz, Cordy and Wesley." Angel said, thinking of everyone that had worked together in Sunnydale.

Buffy looked over at the three sitting together on the other side of the room and rolled her eyes. "You're stretching it a little aren't you, Angel? We have to be honest if we're going to help Xander get through this. I agree that we both care about Xander. I've never really gotten along with Cordelia or Wesley and I certainly don't feel like taking Oz back into our little circle of friends after what he put Willow through."

"You really have a problem with forgiveness issues don't you?" Oz asked her. "Even if it's about something that is none of your business."

"When someone hurts one of my best friends, I consider that my business," Buffy told him.

"I was one of your friends too, Buffy. Or did you forget that?"

Before Buffy could answer Oz, Angel stepped in, bringing up something that had been bothering him for a long time. "When you ran away wasn't it Oz and Cordy who helped Xander and Willow keep the Hellmouth safe? Yet now you say that Cordy was never really one of your friends and Oz doesn't deserve to be one anymore because of something he did to hurt Willow when he was a werewolf? Are you so forgetful that you don't remember how much these two people meant to your best friends?"

"Please, Cordelia never really loved Xander. It was just the fun of making out in the closets and the book stacks on the sly that attracted her to Xander. Xander was never in love with her like I was with Oz or Buffy was with you, Angel. As far as Oz and I go, he may have been a werewolf when he did the sex thing, but he was the one that pulled her into the cage with him. He could have called Buffy and had her handle Veruca, but no, he had to 'handle' her himself," Willow said, still bitter at what had happened with Oz and Veruca even though she had Tara now.

"I did love Xander and he loved me," Cordelia argued. "You always say you know Xander so well and maybe you do to a certain extent, but do you really know his heart? Did you ever bother to pay attention to how upset he was when we broke up? No, because you were too busy ignoring him so that you and Oz could get back together."

"She's right." Oz agreed. "I remember he moped around for weeks, feeling guilty all the time because of what happened between the two of you. He even went so far as to try to strike up a conversation with me about a burrito I was eating for lunch." Oz looked over at Cordy and they both cracked up, Doyle, Angel and even Spike joining in on the laughter at the thought of Xander trying to make up with Oz by talking about food. After they had quit laughing, Oz looked at Willow and Buffy, totally serious now. "As for what happened between us, I didn't have time to go and get Buffy. The sun was setting and Veruca was getting ready to go out and kill people. It was a judgment call whether it was right or wrong. I thought I could handle it. And Buffy never gave me a chance to explain. She told me it was time for my usual stoicism."

"Seems to me if Oz had been as unforgiving as the two of you, then this Veruca thing would never have been an issue, because you two would have never gotten back together in the first place," Spike observed.

"I'm just tired of Oz trying to play the werewolf card to excuse his actions. He hurt Willow, werewolf or not," Buffy defended her friend.

"Isn't that why Xander was so upset with you? Isn't that why he lied to you about Willow doing the spell? Even though I hurt you and your loved ones, you blamed Angelus not Angel, yet we share the same body, just as the werewolf and Oz share his. Seems to me that you twist the facts to suit your needs." When Buffy had nothing to say, Angel continued, "You never answered my question. Have you forgotten that Cordy and Oz helped your friends while you were gone?"

"No, I haven't. But I never asked them to. I didn't expect them to take on my responsibilities." Buffy told him.

"You've got to be kidding me slayer," Spike said, shaking his head at Buffy's total state of oblivion. "Anyone who knows Xander and the others would know that they would feel compelled to carry on fighting the vampires you left behind. Even if you lost sight of the mission, they wouldn't. And the watcher there was foolish to let them do that."

"I came back. I didn't give up on the mission as you call it, Spike. And I'm sure Giles took care of them." Buffy snapped.

"Actually, I was quite worried about them. Now that I look back I realize I shouldn't have let them go out there alone. I was just so worried about you that I wasn't thinking straight," Giles admitted, knowing that Spike was right.

"Which brings me to the question I've been meaning to ask you ever since I found out about this. You never even thanked them did you?" Angel asked, getting angry now. "You never thought about how scared they must be, fighting demons and vampires every night without preternatural strength and skill. They were just four kids doing the job of a slayer. Did you even think that one of them could have been killed while you were on your little journey of self pity? We could have lost four friends during that time."

"Why are we even arguing about this now? I came back here to see if I could make up with Willow and I got my answer. I also got tortured and held captive by crazy soldiers. And even though Willow acted like she was upset about it, I know that Buffy could have cared less about rescuing me. I'm just glad it was Xander that found me down there in that hell hole instead of you." Oz told Buffy.

"I would have helped you. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I just don't know whether I can consider you a friend or not anymore after what happened between you and Willow."

"You say that like you think I wasn't hurting too. I had to leave to learn to control the wolf, so that maybe, just maybe Willow and I would have a chance. I did that and as soon as I could I came home to this. All I have to say is whatever happens between me and Willow is just that - between us. And that's going to have to wait, because all that really matters right now is helping Xander get better. I owe him that much." Oz told her.

"Oz is right. Let's just concentrate on getting him better and quit all this arguing. We all say we care about Xander. Let's prove that. I only wish that Xander had told us about this so that we could have helped." Angel said.

"Xander did tell me and I refused to help him," Willow said, tears in her eyes. "God, if anything happens to him before---"

"Nothing's going to happen to him, Red," Spike snapped, wishing he could light one of his cigarettes. *Damn hospitals.* "You can apologize to him when he wakes up." Willow nodded her head as Wesley stood up and walked towards the two vampires.

"While we're waiting for that to happen, I really need to go over what I found out about the Initiative with all of you," Wesley said, looking at the faces in the room.

"I told you I don't give a fuck about the bloody soddin chip!" Spike exploded. Angel put an arm on his shoulder to stop him before he went into a full blown rant.

"So you're just going to let all the work he did be for nothing is that it? Is that what you think Xander would want you to do right now? For God's sake man, pull yourself together and listen to me. I've got information that I think everyone should know and I believe that Xander would want you to hear this. He doesn't give up so why the hell are you? He's lived on the bloody Hellmouth for 19 years and he's still here. Xander's not some pansy ass, he's tough and he's going to be alright. Both of you would realize that if you didn't have your heads planted firmly up your - place that isn't your heads!" Wesley yelled at Spike and Angel, surprising not only himself but everyone in the room.

"I don't know about them, but I'd love to hear what you found out," Riley said from his position by the door.

"Riley, don't start anything. Please not now." Buffy pleaded with him. She so didn't want to argue anymore. Angel had made her think about her own mistakes and she wasn't liking what she was seeing.

"Go ahead, Wesley. Give us some of your bedtime stories about the big, bad Initiative," Riley goaded. "I'm sure Forrest, Graham and I would love to hear them," he said indicating the two men standing next to him.

Angel lunged for Riley, ready to rip his lungs out when he felt a hand reach out and grab him. He turned to see Buffy looking at him, tears welling in her eyes. "Let me handle this, Angel."

Angel jerked his arm away and backed off, his eyes still glowing amber. Buffy walked over to her boyfriend and the two men. Riley looked over her shoulder at Angel and said, "I heard you were all peaceable now. But the way you've been acting these past few days I don't know. You didn't go and lose that pesky soul of yours now did you?"

"Boy, if I had you wouldn't still be standing there. This little scouting expedition your idea?" he asked pointing at the three men. All of them were sweating profusely and they looked like they hadn't slept.

"We're not leaving until we find out exactly what happened to Professor Walsh." Riley spotted the empty bed. "Where's Xander? Are you trying to hide him? It won't work. We'll find him and make him answer our questions."

"Like hell you will," Spike growled, turning amber eyes on Riley and the other men.

"Riley, will you just stop it!" Buffy yelled at her boyfriend. "Can't you see we're all upset here? One of my best friends is having a CAT scan right now to see if all that smoke inhalation caused any brain damage. Do you get that? I don't understand why Xander broke into the Initiative and right now I don't give a shit. All I want is for Xander to wake up and tell one of his stupid jokes."

"Amen to that," Oz muttered, thinking about how much they had taken Xander's jokes for granted.

"Maggie's dead and you're happy about that aren't you?" Riley accused his girlfriend.

"How can you ask me that?" Buffy was stunned and hurt by her boyfriend's accusations. "Of course I'm not happy. I'm going to find out what happened down there in the lab when Xander's up to it so we can finally put this behind us and then you can stop asking me how happy all this death makes me."

"I believe I can supply the answers if everyone would just calm down," Wesley said, holding up the papers. "Oz and I looked over these documents last night and we found out Maggie's plans. She had written everything down. This is her handwriting is it not?" He walked over to Riley and showed him the document. The young man nodded his head and Wesley walked back over to stand in the middle of the room, facing the others like a teacher in a classroom.

"Maggie Walsh was feeding all of you drugs through your food to make you stronger, in her words to make you better soldiers. Riley got the most of anybody. That's why you look so bad. The longer you stay off of them the more damage you could do to yourself or others." Wesley looked over and watched Riley scratching at his hands, drawing blood. Spike and Angel had also noticed the man's actions, having scented the blood in the air.

"This Project 314 that she had designed had a name. Adam. He was a kinematically redundant, biomechanical demonoid. In addition to organic material he was equipped with GP2D11 infrared detectors, a harmonic decelerator plus DC Servo." Wesley told them.

"Would you speak English please?" Cordelia said, not understanding a word of the technical terms. Buffy, however, seemed to understand and looked at Wesley.

"She pieced him together with parts from other demons."

"Yes, exactly. And man, and machine. She wrote down that Adam had a job to do and that she loved him. She mentions that this Adam and Riley were her favorite children, her art. Maggie also wrote about her hatred for Buffy and how she planned to kill her as soon as she had observed her enough, because she was asking too many questions."

"Xander was right when he said she was keeping her enemies closer," Willow said. "I told you last night that we should have listened to him."

Buffy nodded her head, looking over at the empty bed. Tears started to fall from her eyes as Spike said, "Too bad you didn't listen to him earlier. This whole thing might have been prevented."

"Do you have any proof?" Forrest asked.

"This is all the proof I need. Might I add, before you try to take this from me know that I have made notarized copies of all these documents, and I have them hidden in various places. Wesley pointed at the documents. "I read enough of this to know it's true."

"I don't get it. Why would she do that?" Forrest asked him.

"Because she felt Buffy was getting too close to Adam or 314. She didn't want the slayer mucking up her project. As I said she hated Buffy."

"I can't blame Professor Walsh for hating Buffy. She tends to stick her nose in where it doesn't belong," Forrest said, looking over at Buffy.

Riley turned and looked at his friend. "What?"

"She's a pain. Always wanting to know why this and why that."

"And you're saying she should die because of that?" Riley asked, astonished at what his friend was saying.

"I don't know. Maybe Professor Walsh found out that Buffy was up to something bad. That ever cross your mind?" Forrest shot back.

Everyone in the room watched as the two men faced off against each other. "Why does it bug you so much that I'm hanging with her? Is it because she's a better soldier than you?" Riley asked.

"Maybe he's jealous. Wants you all for himself." Spike snorted.

Forrest ignored Spike's comments. "It bugs me that she used you to help her friend infiltrate our operation."

Buffy was across the room in seconds. "I am not using Riley. I love him."

"So you're saying she's a spy?" Riley asked, ignoring his girlfriend. "You're crazy."

"Professor Walsh was a smart woman. If she was going to kill Buffy, maybe Buffy needed killing."

Before anyone could react, Giles had thrown Forrest up against the wall. "That's enough. I want you out of Xander's room, out of this hospital and out of my sight now before I do something I might regret." Giles gave Forrest one last "Ripper" look before dropping him back onto the floor. As he walked away Forrest said, "That supernatural freak is blinding all of you and I'm sick of it."

"That's enough. You better be ready to deal with the consequences of saying that about her," Riley said, going after Forrest.

Angel had heard enough. He got between the two men and shoved them into opposite walls. "Arguing is not solving anything and I don't want us thrown out of this hospital before I find out what's going on with Xander."

>"He deserves to die. He's no more than an animal, just like you are," Forrest told Angel as Buffy came over and punched the man, knocking him to the floor. "You ever say that about Xander again and I'll forget I'm the slayer. I don't generally like to kill humans but I've learned it pays to be flexible in life."

Before Forrest could say anything else, Clem entered the room pushing Dr. Engleman into the room. "Here's the doctor just like you asked," he told Wesley before turning to Spike and Angel. "How's Xander?"

"We don't know, mate." Spike told him. He growled at the doctor before he asked, "So I take it that this chip can't come out. Otherwise the good doctor wouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry, Spike. The chip is too deeply embedded into the cerebral cortex. If they tried to remove it you would be damaged beyond repair, even being a vampire. They made sure when they did this surgery that there was no going back. It was definitely a one way trip." Wesley told him.

"Somehow I can't seem to care right now," he told them. "Got more pressing matters on my mind, so to speak."

Angel walked back over to Spike, placing his arm over Spike's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Spike. I truly am."

Spike looked up at Angel and forced a smile. "I know you are. But I can still help you in your work. Killing demons and all that."

"Yes, you and Xander both can, just as soon as we get him out of this fucking town," Angel growled.

"Xander's not going anywhere. You all seem to forget that he broke into a Government facility, killed Professor Walsh, kidnapped Dr. Engleman and shot two guards." Riley told them.

"Is that all? I've done worse damage at a church social," Spike smirked. "I believe that Dr. Engleman can clear this all up for us, can't you doctor?" Wesley asked the man, before Buffy grabbed the doctor by the collar and pinned him against the wall.

"You're going to tell us what Professor Walsh was planning to do with 314 and after that you're going to tell me what you did to Riley," she threatened.

"Riley, get your girlfriend off of me," Dr. Engleman begged the man.

"Did Maggie want me dead?" Buffy asked, as Riley ignored the doctor's protests.

"She did. But understand the Initiative had no interest in eliminating the slayer. It was her own vendetta." he assured everyone in the room.

"Why? Spell it out for me. I feel an attack of dumb blonde coming on." Buffy told him.

"That's nothing new," Cordelia whispered to Doyle before smiling sweetly at Buffy.

"I don't know." Dr. Engleman said before Buffy tightened her grip on the man's coat.

"Think harder."

"It was Project 314 - Adam. And Riley. Maggie was afraid that you would find out about Adam before he was finished and she was jealous of your influence over Riley."

"That's enough," Riley said, coming over to them. "You're making her sound like a psychopath. She wasn't like that. She was a brilliant woman." Riley was hurting, both physically and emotionally and he couldn't wrap his mind around what everyone was saying.

"She was," Dr. Engleman tried to calm Riley down.

"All she was trying to do was help people and this is the way you want them to remember her?" He looked at Buffy and walked towards her as she released the doctor. "You're doing this to me aren't you? This all started because of you."

"Look, if you will just listen to me. I am just trying to get at the truth." Buffy told him.

"You want the truth? Then let's get Xander to tell us. I'll go find him and make him tell us why he killed her," Riley said heading towards the door. Buffy grabbed him and pushed him backwards.

"Riley, stop it. I didn't do anything and Xander's hurt. You're not going anywhere near him until he's ready to talk." Riley started for the door and once again Buffy pushed him away. "Riley, stop. This isn't about us. This is about what Maggie and the Initiative were really up to."

Riley slid down the wall as Buffy ran over to him. He started shaking and scratching at his hand again. "Stop it." Buffy told him as she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"I can't," Riley told her. "It's like something's crawling around inside." He started scratching at himself again. Buffy stopped him by taking his hand into hers.

"No, you're hurting yourself." She said softly, trying to calm him down.

"I thought I knew. But I don't. I don't know anything." he said.

"You're sick. Why don't we go and get someone and Dr. Engleman can tell them what they've been giving you so you can get better."

"Buffy, I don't know anything. I don't know which team I'm on, who the bad guys are. Maybe I'm the bad guy. Maybe I'm the thing you should kill."

Xander's doctor came into the room and all eyes fell on him. He saw Riley lying against the wall and went to examine him. "This man needs help," he said, before rushing to the doorway and yelling for assistance. Three nurses and two interns ran into the room. "Get this man down to the ER." He glanced over and saw Forrest and Graham acting much the same way. "Take those two with you. What kind of drugs are these men on?"

"We don't know. But this man will be glad to help you, I'm sure. Won't you Dr. Engleman?" Buffy gave the man a threatening glare before he nodded his head. "Call security and have them stay with this guy. He's been feeding them drugs and I want him arrested. I'll be down to check on Riley as soon as I find out about Xander." The interns nodded as they helped the nurses take the four men out of the room.

"What about Xander, doc? What did you find out?" Spike asked, anxious to hear the news.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" the doctor pointed at the doorway as he smiled. Everyone looked over to see Xander sitting in a wheelchair, looking dazed and confused at what was happening around him, but very much alive.

It was an hour later and Xander was getting antsy. He was tired of having everybody's attention on him. Xander wasn't used to being the center of attention and it was making him nervous. While he was glad that everyone cared about him, all he wanted was to be alone with the AI crew, which he felt included Wesley, Oz and Clem. Xander loved the Scooby gang, but he knew they would never be comfortable with an unchipped Spike and he wanted nothing more than to find out if the vampire was cured or if Xander was going to be able to surprise his friend. Xander knew it was selfish, but he was hoping that he would be able to see the look on Spike's face when he told him he was free.

Xander had listened as everyone told him how scared they had been for him, how much they loved him and how they were going to personally kick his ass if he ever did something like this again. He had held each of his friends as they had kissed and coddled him. Xander had made his usual lame remarks to his friends just so he could hear them laugh. But underneath it all, there was a sea of emotions just begging to be unleashed. While he had the Scoobies fooled, Xander knew the others could tell that he was ready to lose control at any moment.

Xander had woken to find himself in a brightly lit tunnel and he had become so agitated that the doctors had to remove him from it before the CAT scan was done. He couldn't stand being closed in, that feeling of not being able to get away overwhelming him. Xander had forced himself to calm down as he rode in the wheelchair back to his room, but the anxiety had returned when he had seen Riley, Forrest and that other guy coming out. Forrest had tried to attack him but the interns had held him back. Xander was glad that Angel and Spike had not seen what had happened and he didn't tell them. He knew that he wouldn't feel safe until they were all out of Sunnydale even though his friends had confirmed what the Oracles had told him. The Initiative was gone.

Xander lost track of the conversation going on around him as his thoughts went back to his meeting with the Oracles. He was excited about telling Doyle about his visions not being as painful anymore and of course he wanted to tell Spike about his chip, but the topic of Angel's soul being permanent was a different story. Xander knew he was happy that Angel could finally fall in love and have a real relationship, but he couldn't help but feel jealous, hurt and betrayed by what Spike and Angel had done. He knew he shouldn't feel this way but he couldn't help it. A part of him was happy with Lindsey, even though he still had conflicting emotions about his lover. The other part longed for the times he had shared with both Spike and Angel. Now that the vampires were together, Xander was afraid that they wouldn't have time for him anymore, and that thought scared him. Xander had come to depend on both of them, more than he had ever realized until now.

The undercurrent of emotions from earlier started to become a full out tidal wave at the thought of Spike and Angel pushing him away. Xander had no doubts in his mind that this would happen, cause that was the Harris way. Whenever Xander felt comfortable and happy with the things in his life, which was seldom, the rug was always pulled out from under him. There came those damn feelings again - inadequacy, self-loathing, anger, betrayal, fear, pain, remorse, jealousy and loneliness - swirling inside the pit of his stomach like the colors in a kaleidoscope. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind of everything before he lost control in front of his friends.

As his mind came back to awareness, he noticed how quiet the room had become and looked around to see everyone staring at him. Oh, shit what had he missed? He gave everyone his patented 'goofy guy' smile and said, "Sorry, zoned out for a minute. What were you saying?" he asked the room in general, knowing that whoever had said the last words would repeat them. He didn't have long to wait before Buffy spoke.

"Xander, are you alright?" When Xander nodded, she continued. "I was just asking if you felt like telling us what happened with Professor Walsh and Dr. Engleman. If you don't, we can talk about it later," Buffy reassured him. Xander looked at her and smiled and she returned it. Same old Buffy, same old Xander. They could fight like cats and dogs one minute, their words cutting each other to ribbons and then be hugging and smiling, comforting each other through the many problems of the Hellmouth the next. Buffy and Xander always kept each other in line, knowing that Willow was too big of a softie to argue with them and Giles was too deeply entrenched in being the watcher of the group to usually interfere in their arguments unless they seemed like they were going to get out of hand.

"Might as well get it over with," Xander assured her. "I don't know anything about Dr. Engleman. Well, besides the fact that I ordered my troops to keep a doctor handy in case we found out a way to remove Spike's chip. I guess he was the pick of the litter."

"Dr. Engleman was my doing," Wesley said, stepping forward to take the blame. He knew that Xander had skirted the issue of using his name directly and while he appreciated that, he wanted to take full responsibility for his actions, whatever the consequences.

"OK. What about Professor Walsh?" Buffy gently prodded, needing to know why her friend had done something so unlike him. She had been frantic the other night, seeing Riley beaten up, hearing about the attack on the Initiative, finding out that Xander was responsible and then seeing Xander so thrashed, that she had been running on emotional overload. After she and Willow had gotten back to their dorm they had stayed up all night talking about their friend. Buffy and Willow had decided to stand behind Xander no matter what, but underneath it all Buffy was hoping that it had been an accident of some kind or possibly self-defense. She didn't want to see Xander tainted by murdering someone.

"She was a psycho, Buffy. Clem and I were trying to destroy that 314 thing before it became fully activated, because let me tell you it was downright scary. I've seen a lot of weird things in my life, but this was the weirdest. I don't know how to describe it. It was like part human, part demon, part machine. The baddest of everything all rolled into one. I knew if it got loose it could do a lot of damage to a lot of people, including you, so I wanted to get rid of it, but she came out of nowhere and attacked me. Started scratching and hitting like a mother lion protecting her cub. I didn't have much strength left at the time and I told Clem to kill it."

"I did that. I pulled out those things that were attached to it's head and then I took my gun and shot the machine up so she couldn't reconnect it you know just in case," Clem proudly filled in the story from where he was seated in the corner of the room, munching on a bag of Cheese Doritos.

Xander smiled at his demon friend. "Yeah, Captain America there blew it up real good. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't been there."

Clem's face lit up at Xander's praise as he grabbed another handful of Doritos. He held out the bag to Xander, offering him some of the tasty treat. Xander shook his head and Clem shrugged, pulling the bag back to his chest before he laughed. "Sorry, I was just thinking about me as Captain America. Good comic books. I enjoy them," Clem explained, nodding his head so vigorously that his ears started flopping back and forth. Xander couldn't help but marvel at how this sweet, funny demon had become such a powerful force when called upon. He had definitely saved his neck and Xander didn't know how he could ever thank him for what he had done.

Xander looked at his friends and could tell that they were thinking the same thing, especially Buffy. The Clem they had witnessed yesterday was a definite parallel to the one they were seeing now. "He looks harmless, but he can do some damage. He's like a .....a......skunk. You know, they look cute until you rile them and then they make you sorry that you ever came near them." Xander explained as everyone laughed.

"Xander, how did Professor Walsh end up dead," Giles asked quietly, hoping to gently guide Xander into his explanation of the Professor's death. He hadn't been particularly fond of the woman, but he didn't want to see her dead. Well, maybe the 'Ripper' part of him was glad, especially after hearing that the woman had planned on killing Buffy. Her remark of Buffy's lacking a father figure in her life had irritated him a lot. He considered himself not only a paternal figure for her but also Xander and Willow as well. Giles had not told anyone how proud he was that Xander had made him his emergency contact. It made him realize just how much the boy trusted him. "It was self defense wasn't it?"

Xander saw Willow, Giles and Buffy waiting hopefully for him to acknowledge that it was indeed self-defense. He didn't want to let his friends down, but he really didn't know if it was or not. The swell of emotions hurtled through him again as he remembered the woman stabbing Clem with a scalpel and then charging at him while he yelled at her to stop. Xander knew enough from reading through some of Lindsey's law books while waiting for him to get out of a meeting to know that him shooting the woman would definitely be classified as self-defense. But he had shot her through the chest, had aimed directly at her heart. He probably could have stopped her by shooting her in the leg like he had the soldier but for some reason he had felt compelled to take aim at a vital organ. Xander had shot to kill, and that would be classified as murder.

"I don't know," Xander answered truthfully, not able to meet the Scoobies eyes.

Angel, Spike and the others saw the look of sadness that fell over Xander's face. "What is it, pet? What's that look for? Is this getting to be too much for you because if it is, I'll make everybody sod off," Spike promised, reaching over to push that one curl off his boy's forehead. His other arm was draped possessively around Xander's shoulders as he sat next to the young man. Spike had climbed up on the bed next to Xander as soon as the boy had been helped into it and had refused to move, even when Willow had tried to straighten Xander's pillows for the 15th time.

Xander glanced over at Spike, saw the warmth and concern in those beautiful blue eyes and let the emotions that had been threatening to overwhelm him take over. Xander didn't want anyone to see him crying so he buried his face in Spike's shoulder and tried to muffle the sobs as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

Xander felt Spike's arm come up to join the other one, wrapping him into a protective hug as he drew him closer, felt Spike's fingers running through his hair and gave himself over to the feeling of being cared for and coddled. He felt the bed dip down behind him, felt a hand rubbing his shoulders and neck, heard Angel's voice saying, "It's alright, Xander. Everything's going to be fine. I promise you that, and I always keep my promises." and let the tension of the past few days leave his body. The pain medication the doctor had given him was making him sleepy and that combined with the feeling of safety he felt in Spike's and Angel's presence made him start to nod off. The last thing he remembered before going to sleep was Angel telling everyone to leave.

Angel and Spike had been surprised at how fast the room had emptied at Angel's command. They had taken it for what it was. Not a request, but a command. No one wanted to argue with the dark haired vampire when he had that look on his face. The one that demanded respect, the one that said he meant exactly what he said and the one that promised dire consequences for anyone that didn't listen.

Giles had said he needed to go home and get some rest, Willow had classes to catch up on with Tara and Buffy needed to check on Riley before heading out on patrol. Doyle, Cordelia, Oz, Wesley and Clem had decided to go back to the mansion, saying that they were hungry and sleepy. The room was soon quiet, only the sound of Xander's breathing filling the air.

Spike turned his head and looked at Angel, a smile on his face. "You sure know how to clear a room, peaches."

Angel met Spike's glance before saying, "They were pushing the boy too hard. He's been through too much to try to explain everything that's happened. Even though they were being a little less confrontational than they were earlier it was still a lot for Xander to handle."

"Yeah, way too many people in the room. I think three is definitely enough," Spike said, continuing to run his fingers through Xander's dark, silky locks as he watched Angel lay down on the bed behind Xander, spooning his body up against the boys as he laid his arm protectively over both him and Spike.

"This is the way it should always be," Angel told him.

"Except we should definitely have less clothes on, I'm thinking," Spike agreed.

"And a much larger bed," Angel added, shifting his body so that he wasn't hanging off the side of the bed. Even though he had adjusted himself, his long legs still hit the bottom of the hospital bed.

"But not too big, because I like cuddling," Spike admitted.

"Me too," Angel agreed. "Do you think we're squishing Xander. Will he be able to rest? Are we hurting his burns?"

"Relax, Angel. The boy's fine. The medication the doctor gave him will help with any pain and besides, Xander likes to feel safe. We made him feel safe." Spike said, feeling proud. "Did you notice how fast he went to sleep when we held him and talked to him?"

Angel smiled at Spike's words. "Yes. I was worried there for awhile. I've never felt so many emotions pouring off one human in my life. My senses were on overload."

"Told you how intoxicating Xander could be. A demon's filet mignon. Which reminds me. When the bloody hell are we getting out of this soddin town? I don't want Xander around when those soldier gits recover. It's bad enough having him here with only vampires and demons hanging about."

"I'll talk to the doctor in the morning. We'll leave as soon as possible. While we're here you and Xander have nothing to worry about. I promised you both that I would protect you and that no harm would come to either of you again. You do trust me, don't you Spike?" Angel asked, looking worried.

"Spike raised up to look at Angel, before leaning in for a long, drawn out kiss. "With my life, Angel, with our lives." Spike assured him as he laid back down. Soon he was asleep, Angel watching over them as he brooded. Brooded about not being able to love them the way he wanted to love them because of the curse, brooded about the soldiers and what problems they may cause, brooded about not being able to get rid of Spike's chip, brooded about Lindsey's influence in Xander's life, and most especially brooded about how to handle the Scooby gang when he told them he was taking Xander away. Angel was still brooding when he fell asleep.