The two vampires were sitting in the chairs in their room watching over Xander while he slept. They had forced the boy to drink some juice...actually several things of juice...and eat a little on the way home the previous night. Xander had obeyed them, never saying a word. When they had arrived, Angel had carried Xander inside. He had placed Xander gently on the bed, both vampires undressing him before doing the same. They had all taken a quick shower and Xander had fallen asleep as they were drying him off. Spike had put a pair of boxers on the boy before carrying him back to the bed. He and Angel had put some salve on the wounds, each of them growling at the sight of not only the bites on Xander's neck and chest but his thighs as well. They had been relieved that Xander was so out of it, knowing the boy would have been upset hearing their growling and seeing their demon faces. They had bandaged up the wounds, each of them taking a place next to Xander on the bed before pulling up the covers and nestling as close as they could to their boy. They had spent a few hours holding Xander, touching him, watching him sleep as they listened to the beating of his heart. Finally, they had drifted off to sleep.

Angel had woken first, studying his two lovers for a few minutes before rising and going to the kitchen for some coffee. Spike had joined him a few hours later, neither of them talking as they drank their coffee. Each member of the AI group had come down during the morning inquiring about Xander and had all been told the same thing. "Xander's still asleep." None of them, not even Cordelia, had asked any further questions, knowing the vampires were on edge. Instead, they had nodded their heads and silently made their way back up to the office. Angel and Spike had returned to the bedroom, each taking a chair next to the bed so they would be close when Xander did wake up. Angel was pretending to read while Spike chain smoked, his eyes never leaving Xander. Now it was mid afternoon and Spike was getting antsy.

"What time is it?" Angel sighed, looking up from his book to check the watch on his wrist.

"Fifteen minutes since the last time you asked." He sat back, waiting for Spike to start the conversation they had been having every few minutes for the past two hours.

"Should have known something like this was going to happen."

"I know."

"Xander's a bloody demon magnet and we made him a moving target for every vampire and demon in Los Angeles."

"I know."

"It's bad enough having that Lindsey bloke sniffing after Xander, we don't need vampires doing it too."

"I know."

"Should have told him about claiming."

"I know."

"We shouldn't have waited. Should have just claimed him like we've wanted to do since Sunnydale."

"I know."

"But no, instead we decide to wait for a while and then we end up letting him go to a neighborhood we know has a nest in it, with no back up, knowing Xander's a soddin' white hat, knowing he's going to jump into any fight feet first, consequences be damned so some other vampire could grab him."

"I know."

"Xander could have been killed, or turned."

"I know."

"And it would have been all your fault."

"I know...hey, wait a minute." Angel took his eyes off Xander long enough to turn and glare at Spike. "What happened to it being OUR fault?"

"Just seeing if you were paying attention." Spike's smirk caused Angel to grin.

"I was paying attention the first ten times we had this same conversation, then I decided to just agree with you."

"Maybe I am repeating myself but you know I'm right." Spike's tone was serious now.

"We definitely mishandled the situation." Angel and Spike sat quietly for a few minutes, listening to Xander's breathing and the thumpety thump of his heart. Angel's eyes fell on the bandages covering Xander's neck and chest, the mind numbing fear and rage threatening to make an appearance again. He turned to see the same expression on Spike's face.

"Xander sounds better although it will probably be a while before he wakes up. When he does, we'll talk to him. In the meantime, I think there's a better way for us to pass the time than pretending to read and chain smoking." Spike hid a smile at those words, knowing what Angel was implying but determined to make the other vampire say the words.

"Yeah, we should probably get some more sleep."

"Not what I had in mind." Angel got up, crossing the room to lock the door so no one would interrupt them.

"Nothing else to do in here." Spike's voice was innocent, his actions weren't. Angel turned to see Spike standing and stretching, the muscles along his back and shoulders evident as he leaned down to touch his toes, giving the older vampire a nice view of his ass through the silk boxers. Spike slowly raised up, hands running up his thighs, over his firm abdomen and chest before raising towards the ceiling. Angel took an unneeded breath, basking in the beauty of his blonde lover.

Spike heard Angel, a teasing smile appearing on his face as he brought his hands down, running them slowly back and forth through his ungelled, curly locks. Spike knew how much Angel and Xander loved his hair this way and he was putting on quite a show for Angel until he heard the other vampire's low growl. Spike looked up just in time to see Angel pull his boxers off. Seconds later he found himself on the floor next to the bed, Angel on top of him.

"I can think of plenty of things to do, my boy." Angel leaned down, taking Spike's mouth in a slow, hard kiss. Spike's hand wrapped around Angel's neck, pulling the other vampire closer. "Need you." Those two simple words spoken in a tone that Spike knew was utter helplessness, brought tears to his eyes. He knew Angel felt like he had let Xander down...he was feeling the same way. However, it was seldom that Spike heard that tone being used by Angel. The older vampire liked to be in control, whether it was over their family or himself. Angel always prided himself on being the strong one in bad situations....always the one to give comfort not take it, the protector not the protected, the leader not the follower. Spike's blue eyes met Angel's brown ones, both full of unshed tears and an understanding that came from centuries of being together.

"You have me," Spike whispered, ghosting his lips over Angel's before lying back, arms above his head. Angel stared down at him, love and desire written in the expression on his face.

"Spike...so beautiful...not enough words, never been enough words...." Angel couldn't think of any way to describe how truly gorgeous Spike was. He didn't think there was a word that could capture everything that was Spike. Angel sat up, pulling Spike's boxers off. He slid up Spike's body, nibbling along thighs, hips, abdomen and chest as he made his way to his intended target. Spike moaned when Angel's mouth found his, the older vampire slipping his tongue into his mouth to taste every inch. Angel felt Spike trembling beneath him, knowing it was taking everything Spike had not to move. Spike had submitted to him and Angel was going to make sure his lover knew how much he loved him. Angel reached up, grabbing the lube from the dresser. He spent several minutes preparing Spike, gently inserting one finger at a time into the other vampire's hole while he sucked, licked and nibbled along the hard shaft. Spike's head was moving from side to side, eyes closed in pleasure, moans of ecstasy coming from him. Angel crooked his fingers, finding Spike's pleasure spot, making him cry out as he writhed beneath him.

"Please, Angel...take me...please just fuck me.."

"Shhh. Not going to fuck you, Spike. Going to make love to you. I need you to know how much I love you." Spike's eyes opened at those words and he smiled. It wasn't one of his trademark smirks or his 'come fuck me' smile but rather one of genuine happiness, one that made Spike more beautiful, if that was possible.

"Show me. Show me now." Angel lifted Spike's legs, placing them over his shoulders. He lined his lubed cock up to Spike's hole, entering him slowly, lovingly and with such care that both of them felt every single inch of penetration. When Angel was fully seated inside of Spike he bent down, kissing him tenderly on the lips, his hands tracing up along both sides of Spike's body and up his arms until their hands met. Angel interlaced their fingers, giving Spike's hands a slight squeeze as he started moving in and out of the younger vampire's body. Angel kissed Spike's neck, jaw and ear lobe, stopping to whisper words of love. This lasted for several minutes until both vampire's felt their orgasms building. Angel stopped, changing into his demon face, Spike doing the same. The thrusts became faster and harder. As they fell over the edge into pleasure Angel sank his fangs into Spike's neck. Spike cried out and then did the same to him. They drank from each other, the waves of their desire sweeping through them as they erupted. Angel withdrew his fangs, Spike doing the same, both of them licking the wounds closed before Spike's legs slid off Angel's shoulders and the older vampire fell on top of him in a sated heap.

Spike heard a startled gasp and looked up towards the bed. Xander was sitting up, eyes wide with fear as his trembling hands touched the bandaged wounds. Spike had only registered the trip hammering of the boy's heart, knowing Xander had been having a nightmare, when Xander turned to see the two vampires staring up at him, demon faces in place and blood on their mouths. Before either one of them could react, Xander jumped off the bed and ran for the door. Finding it locked and the vampires coming at him, Xander ran towards the corner of the room, sliding down the wall and huddling there, rocking back and forth as he begged them not to hurt him. Spike and Angel exchanged worried glances, both of them inwardly cursing the fact that they had been so wrapped up in each other they hadn't noticed Xander waking up, neither of them knowing what to do to calm the boy down. This was bad. Very, very bad. **********************************

Xander was trapped in his nightmare...one that had started with Bobby getting turned by Gus. Gus had taken great pleasure in sucking Bobby dry and had taunted Xander with the fact that there was nothing he could do to stop it. As Xander had fought to get away, an invisible wall was holding him back, making him watch as Bobby woke up in full vampire face. He smiled at Xander before turning to Gus, taking him in a rough kiss. Gus had taken Bobby, the new vampire howling in pleasure at being fucked by his sire. They had drank from each other before turning towards him, hungry looks on their faces.

"You're next vampire whore. You like being fucked by vampires...we'll show you what it's like to be taken the vampire way." Xander had sat up in the bed, images of Bobby and Gus coming at him fresh in his mind when he had seen Spike and Angel lying on the floor, blood on their mouths looking thoroughly fucked. When they started towards him Xander didn't see his two lovers...instead it was Bobby and Gus. They were coming after him and he had to get away. In a panic he jumped off the bed and raced for the door. Finding it locked he ran, ending up trapped in the corner. With no where else to go he slid down the wall, huddling into himself as he rocked back and forth waiting to die.

"Please don't kill me."

"Why not? You let them kill me." Xander shook his head, never looking at Bobby.

"I tried to stop them. Didn't want you to die. I'm soooo sorry."

"That's not good enough. YOU weren't good enough. You couldn't stop them. I was counting on you to help me but you let me down...just like you let everyone down. Just like you let Jesse down." Xander flinched at Bobby's words.

"No! I tried....God, I tried to save him. I loved him."

"Oh, I bet you did. You wanted Jesse to become a vampire so he could fuck you. You wanted to be his whore. When he didn't want you it pissed you off and you staked him."

"No, no, no. It wasn't like that. Jesse was like my brother. I didn't want that...I'm not a whore."

"You're nothing but a vampire whore. Not good enough to be a pet, a childe or even a minion. Just a little vampire whore. Xander, the vampire whore." Gus and Bobby's voices chanted the last part over and over in Xander's head. He put his hands to his ears, trying to shut out their voices but it didn't help.

"Stop it! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! Quit calling me that!"

"Why? You know that's what you are...what you'll always be. My vampire whore. They didn't want you enough to claim you but I did. You're mine now. I left my marks on you." Gus told him. Xander looked down at the bandages on his chest while one hand went to his throat, feeling another bandage. He knew what was underneath them...the vampire's marks. He wanted them off of him and he wanted them off now. He ripped the bandages off, clawing at his skin, doing whatever it took to get those filthy marks off his body. Spike and Angel wouldn't want him if he was claimed by this vampire and Xander couldn't stand that thought.

Xander felt cool hands on his arms trying to stop him and he lashed out, kicking and hitting as he screamed at them to let him go. They were too strong for him, arms holding him tight even though he struggled to get loose. Finally, he gave up, raising his head to look at his captors. Instead of Bobby and Gus, he saw Spike and Angel staring at him, love and worry apparent in their eyes. Xander tried to say their names but only sobs came out as he collapsed against Spike's chest, burying his head into his lover's chest. ************************************

Spike and Angel had slowly crept towards Xander, hoping the boy would calm down. Xander was visibly shaking now and they could smell the pain, fear and self-loathing coming from him.

"Xander...luv...it's Spike. It's okay, you're safe."

"Please don't kill me." Xander mumbled.

"We're not going to kill you, baby. We love you." Angel told him.

"I tried to stop them. Didn't want you to die. I'm soooo sorry." Xander said, causing the two vampires to stop and look at each other in confusion. "No! I tried....God, I tried to save him. I loved him."

"Xander's trapped in his nightmares again." Angel said, remembering Sunnydale and the closet.

"Yeah, but who is he talking about? Thought it was Gunn's brother but he said he loved him. Xander didn't know him well enough-"

"No, no, no. It wasn't like that. Jesse was like my brother. I didn't want that...I'm not a whore." Realization dawned on the two vampires. Xander was associating Bobby's death with Jesse's.

"Luv, stop it. Wake up and come back to us." Spike was trying to get into Xander's head when those last words played through his mind. "Course you're not a whore, pet. You're ours and we love you."

"Stop it! Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! Quit calling me that!" Xander suddenly raised his head and for a moment Spike and Angel thought he was coming out of his nightmare. Xander started clawing at his neck and chest causing the wounds to open and bleed. The two vampires ran towards him, Spike grabbing him from behind while Angel held his hands in front of him. Xander fought for several minutes, before raising his head to look at them. His mouth opened as if to say something before he started crying, burying his face in Spike's chest. Spike's hand came up to card his fingers through the boy's hair, trying to comfort him while Angel gently rubbed his arm and back. After a few moments Xander sat up, determinedly scrubbing the tears from his face. He wasn't supposed to cry in front of people like this...hated it in fact. If the others had heard his screams----

"What time is it?"

"It's a little after one." Angel answered, puzzled by the question. "Why?"

"Oh, thank God. I'm glad it's one in the morning...no wonder Cordy, Doyle, Wesley or Oz haven't come running in to see what was wrong. I wouldn't want them to see me sitting here crying like some sissy girl." Spike gripped his shoulders tightly, lifting his hand to tilt Xander's face to look at him.

"Nothing wrong with being upset, Xander. You went through a hell of a lot last night. And it's not one in the morning, it's one in the afternoon. You've been out of it for some time, Xander."

"That long?" Spike and Angel nodded. "If it's that late why didn't the calvary come charging in here?" Xander knew his friends well enough to know they would all want to help if Xander was losing it. Angel smiled.

"We had Willow put a sound barrier around the room for privacy....much like the one you had Wesley do back in Sunnydale when you didn't want us to hear the party." Xander's expression became one of worry.

"Willow? Oh, God. Did Willow, Tara and Dawnie see me last night? I didn't want them to see me like that....they were probably frightened...or disgusted." The last words were barely murmured but Angel and Spike heard them.

"They were gone when we got back. By the time they arrived, Spike and I had cleaned you up. They were worried but we saved them the actual terrifying part. Speaking of which, I better get the first aid kit and clean up your wounds." Xander shook his head.

"I'll....I'll do it."

"Like you were doing a minute ago? Bugger that." Spike's voice was in a tone that brooked no argument. There was no way he was going to allow Xander to tear himself up again.

"I won't do that again. It was the nightmare." He saw the two vampires giving him twin looks of doubt. "Okay, so maybe I would but you don't understand. I don't want these marks on me. They make me feel dirty, make me feel like you're disgusted with me, not that I blame you. I should have stopped him....I tried but I should have tried harder."

"Enough of the blame game, Xander. I'm sure you did everything to stop what happened. There were two many of them and he was stronger than you. And we're not disgusted with you."

"Is that why you were growling last night when you bandaged me up?" Spike and Angel exchanged glances. They thought Xander had been too far out of it to hear them. "Yeah, that's right. I heard you...both of you. You were pissed at me for getting bitten."

"No, Xander, we were pissed at ourselves for allowing it to happen in the first place." Angel told him, coming back with the first aid kit. "Here. Sit still while I clean you up. We don't want you to get an infection." Xander flinched but held still as Angel repaired the damage, putting antiseptic on the wounds before replacing the bandages.

"Will these scar?" Xander's voice was barely a whisper.

"No, luv. Angel and I did the vampire saliva trick last night so they'll heal properly." Spike tried to keep his voice light, but his face darkened at the memory of having to taste the other vampire on Xander.

"Plus, the one Marcus gave you has healed and it didn't scar," Angel pointed out. Xander's face filled with anger.

"I'm really, really getting tired of being a chew toy for the undead. Every vampire I've met seems to want to mark me....well, except the two of you." Spike and Angel couldn't miss the hurt and anger in the boy's voice.

"Xander, we need to talk about that."

"What's there to talk about, Angel? Hallie made it clear the other night and if I couldn't let the information enter my very hard head, Gus made sure to make a point of reminding me. You don't want me like that, don't want to claim me. Which is understandable, but still you should have told me what would happen if other vampires noticed it. My God, I was telling them how much you two loved me and they didn't believe me. Didn't believe me because you hadn't marked me. Some sort of vampire code, am I right? If a vampire doesn't mark his little sex toy, it's fair game for the others." Xander pulled away, making it clear that he was angry at the two of them and didn't want them touching him.

"Xander, let me explain----"

"Too late, Angel. I've already had the class and took the test. I may be in love with you two, I may be stupid but I get it. I'm good enough to have sex with, good enough for a few months or years of your unlives but nobody you would want to tie yourself to forever. I get that. I don't know that I would want me around for my entire life....and that didn't come out right."

"Xander, that's not what it was." Angel argued. "You know how much we love you."

"I'm not saying you guys don't love me. I'm pretty sure you do...I hope I wasn't that far off in judgement. But you don't love me enough to be stuck with me for eternity. Still, I think it would have been nice if someone had warned me, that's all I'm saying."

"We should have told you." Angel agreed, causing Xander to stop his diatribe.

"Why didn't you?"

"Xander, it's not that easy to talk to you about this. The claiming ritual is a big commitment...more than marriage. Once we claim you, there is no such thing as divorce. You belong to us and we belong to you."

"So you're already talking about divorcing me before you even claim me?"

"No, Xander that's not what I---"

"Can we say jumping the gun? You know how I feel about the two of you. I don't want anyone else...not ever."

"Neither do we," Spike told him.

"Not even Drusilla?" Xander stared at him for a moment before turning to Angel. "Or Buffy?"

"No!" Both of the vampires chorused.

"Xander, Buffy and I were over a long time ago. I thought you could tell that by watching us in Sunnydale."

"Same goes for me and Dru. She left me for a Chaos demon and that's downright crazy in my book."

"Well, she was a nutcase Spike."

"That's true."

"If she were to walk through that door right this minute you might decide you want her back."

"Not gonna happen, luv."

"If that's the case then what's the problem?" Xander was confused. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with them and if they didn't want anyone else....problem solved.

"There's more to it than that, Xander. To claim someone means we exchange blood during sex."

"Kinda figured that what with the fang marks and all." Xander gave Angel one of his famed 'duh' looks.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it? I trust you...I love you."

"Well, there's the fact that you spent several years hating vampires, Xander....including me. The whole time we lived in Sunnydale, you made it clear just how much." Angel pointed out. "Spike and I thought you would be a little squeamish at the idea of making love to us in our demon form...not to mention biting you."

"So you never noticed how turned on I was when you two were doing it right in front of me? If you thought I would hate having demons in my bed so much, why did you two do it in front of me? And didn't you see how much I liked it at the hospital when Spike bit me to see if his chip would go off?" Neither vampire had an answer for him. "I think you're just using all that shit as an excuse because you don't want me."

"No, Xander, that's not true." Angel told him.

"I don't believe you two." Xander rose from the bed making his way to the door. He unlocked it, turning the knob before giving Angel a dirty look. "And it was low of you to bring up my past in order to excuse the fact that you didn't want me. I don't throw your 'days of Angelus' around do I?" Xander threw the door open, stomping into the living room causing Dawn and the AI gang to jump.

"Xander? Are you okay?" Dawn asked, worried about her friend but happy to get a view of Xander in only his boxers. Xander didn't seem to notice.

"No! I'm pissed as hell."

"What happened?" Cordelia asked just as Spike and Angel came out of the bedroom.

"Xander, you can't blame us for feeling that way." Angel was trying to defend himself and Spike.

"Yes, I can. Do you think I'm ignorant or blind? I know what you two are...vampires."

"Knowing what we are and seeing our demon faces lying next to you in bed is two different things. We didn't think you would find us attractive like that."

"Speak for yourself, mate. I just figured Xander wouldn't like the exchanging blood part."

"What the hell are you three talking about?" Cordelia asked but Xander ignored her as he glared at his two vampires.

"How the hell am I supposed to prove that I love you two...demon face or not, exchanging blood, whatever? I've been here with you for months now, first as a friend and then as a lover. Do you think I fall into bed with anybody who'll have me?"

"No!"

"I've changed, Angel. I'm not the vampire-hating kid you met in Sunnydale."

"I know that."

"Evidently not. And what about you Spike? I've seen much nastier things than blood since I started helping Buffy fight vampires and demons. Can't you come up with a better excuse than that?" Spike seemed startled by Xander's words.

"Who said anything about excuses? We were only trying to explain claiming to you----"

"I heard and I accepted it. I thought you two would be glad that I'm not afraid of the commitment or what else goes with it but instead I get, 'Oh, Xander we thought you might be squeamy'! Xander's voice took on a falsetto tone as he mocked the two vampires.

"Squeamish." Angel corrected him.

"Whatever. You know what I meant."

"And we don't talk like soddin' bints," Spike added.

"Would you stop getting off topic and listen to what I'm saying! I practically said yes and now you two are acting like you're sorry that I'm not upset about letting you bite me. It's just like I said before. Neither one of you wants to be tied down to me so you're trying to make up excuses. And you know what they say about that. Excuses are like assholes, everybody has one. And you know something else? Fuck you! And I didn't mean that in a good way either!"

"Fine. You want to be claimed? Then get your ass back in the bedroom!" Now Spike was pissed off as well.

"Don't wanna. You'd only be doing it to get me to shut up or because you feel sorry for me. I don't need your fucking handouts." Xander stomped over to the guest bedroom door. "I'll be sleeping in here from now on. Wouldn't want to put you two out. You go ahead and have the hot sex with lots of growling and fangs and leave the pathetic human to jack off in the other room!"

"Xander, don't---" Dawn began, but was completely ignored.

"We don't need to get your permission to have hot sex, Xander. Angel and I were doing it waaay before you were ever born."

"Xander, uh-----" Dawn was still ignored, all three of them caught up in their argument.

"And you can keep on doing it waaay after I die, too. God, why does everyone want to make me look like a fool?"

"Don't need us for that, luv. You're doing a good job all on your own."

"Xander, don't go in----" Dawn almost finished her sentence before Xander interrupted her.

"Says the man who's wearing his boxers inside out." Xander smirked at Spike, who was almost looking embarrassed when he realized Xander was right. "Now who's the fool?" Xander opened the door, stepping inside the room, slamming the door and locking it.

"Never mind." Dawn was smiling and so was the rest of the group.

"What's so fucking funny?" Spike snapped. "Don't tell me you've never made the mistake of putting your clothes on wrong when you're in a hurry."

"It's not that, Spike. Willow and Tara are in there and I don't think they were sleeping." Angel and Spike exchanged glances, both of them starting to laugh. They stood outside the door and waited for the fallout from this one.


Chapter Thirty-Nine

Back to Index