Angel carried Xander down the stairs and put him on the couch. He took his coat off and started to strip the boy of his clothes while Spike went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Spike took his clothes off and threw them into the hamper before stepping under the warm water. He quickly washed the demon blood off of him before washing his hair. He noticed that the cut he had gotten earlier in the fight was almost healed. *Damn buggers had been tough*. Spike had just finished when Angel carried Xander into the bathroom, handing him over to Spike while he stripped his own clothes off.

Xander felt the warm water hitting his face and jerked awake. "What the hell?" he swatted at the water as if it were a swarm of bees. Spike held him up with one arm, catching his flailing arms with the other. Xander struggled to get out of the shower but Spike held on tightly, pinning the boy against his chest.

"Calm down, Xander. It's only water and you're not getting out of here before you get a proper shower. You smell like a fucking brewery." Xander stilled when he heard Spike's voice, sighing happily as he leaned against the vampire.

"That's cause I drank. I had drinks with alcohol in them. Do you know how pretty you are? I think you're very pretty." Xander smiled giddily at Spike while he touched his cheek. Angel stepped into the shower and began to soap up the washrag he was holding.

"Don't call me pretty. I'm sexy. Sexy and evil. Now, how many of those drinks did you have, Xander?" Spike tried to glare at the young man but he couldn't - Xander looked too cute.

"I don't know...five...ten...whatever. I lost count and you weren't there," he poked Spike, "and you weren't there," he poked Angel who was washing him off. "You said you would be right back and I waited forever and then stupid, asshole Lindsey started singing our song, which is so not our song anymore cause I hate him. I used to think he was a nice guy and I slept with him because I thought here's a good guy and he's nothing like Faith so I won't be losing my virginity to someone who is going to turn violent but boy was I wrong. Everyone I fuck tries to hurt me after it's over - Faith tried to kill me, Anya will probably try to if she ever gets her vengeance on again and Lindsey attacked me. Is it me? Am I bad in bed? Am I a horrible fuck? That's it, I'm a screw up at screwing. I fuck up at fucking. Right?"

Angel shook his head while he washed Xander's hair. "It's not you, baby. It's the people you choose to share a bed with. Your problem is you're too trusting." He rinsed Xander's hair, loving the feel of his fingers sliding through the boy's silky locks. Angel had to agree with Spike. He loved Xander's hair.

"And you're also a teenage boy which equals a walking hardon." Spike added.

Xander giggled drunkenly at the thought of a walking penis with his face on it. "That's funny, the imagery and all. A walking, talking Xander shaped woodie." Xander wagged his finger back and forth in front of Angel's face. "I am not too trusting. Okay, maybe you're right about Lindsey. Maybe he's always been an evil lawyer and I just didn't notice, but Faith and Anya weren't that bad. Not really."

Angel stopped washing Xander and stared at the boy. "Xander, Faith tried to kill you. She was on top of you choking you to death, remember, I was there."

Xander placed his head on the vampire's chest. "Yeah, you were my hero. But Faith was freaked out, that's all and I was at the wrong place at the right time, or was it the right place at the wrong time?"

"Sounds like the wrong place at the wrong time," Spike said.

"You were only trying to help her, Xander," Angel told him.

"Wish we could have. But she wasn't all bad. I mean, she was the first one to 'steer me around the curves' even though she was definitely speeding. And Anya dropped her dress and asked to interlock body parts. Said if she did, she could stop thinking about me and our date to the prom so what was I supposed to do just walk off? Not." Angel and Spike exchanged an amused glance at Xander's ramblings.

"Must have been a memorable prom if she couldn't get you out of her mind." Spike teased.

"Memorable in a Hellmouth way. I spent all night listening to how she maimed and mangled men. Our conversation consisted of exploding heads, the plague with parts falling off and I so didn't want to know about that and men cannibalizing themselves and-----"

"How in the hell does someone cannibalize themselves?" Angel asked.

"I don't know. You'd have to ask Anya cause she said it was hard but she did it. I guess I shouldn't complain. After all I did go with an ex-vengeance demon. What did I think we were going to talk about? The weather. Pfft."

"Why did you go to the prom with her if you were going to have a bad time? Why not go alone and troll for girls?" Spike asked.

"Not great with the trolling - that's your department. Geek here, remember? Besides, there was only one girl that I really wanted to go to the prom with and she wouldn't go with me," Xander answered honestly.

"The slayer?"

"Nope. And before you say Willow - no. Willow was in love with Oz and Buffy was crazy about Angel," Xander mock glared at the vampire, "Like I said, I had my heart set on one girl but I flubbed that up like I do most things."

"Cordelia," Angel guessed.

"Yeah. Man, she looked gorgeous. That dress, wow and she had her hair swept up off her shoulders - wow, hot. But don't tell Doyle I said that cause he might want to kick my ass even if I am gay now."

"We won't tell," Angel promised.

"No, even though Anya is pretty, the prom was definitely not one of my primo nights. I didn't even win class clown. Lost to that stupid Jack Mayhew, and he wasn't even funny. I think the only other person that was more miserable than me was Buffy." Xander noticed the hurt look on Angel's face and hurried to apologize. "Gee, Angel I'm sorry. I'm still half drunk and my mouth overloads my brain anyway so put them together and I tend to stick my foot in my mouth alot."

"It's alright, Xander," Angel assured him, giving Xander a quick kiss before handing him over to Spike so he could take his own shower. Spike started to dry Xander off while looking inside the shower at his other lover.

"Refused to go to the prom with the slayer did you?"

"No. Well, yes at first I did because I knew I was leaving Sunnydale after the big fight and I didn't want to keep stringing her along, even though I loved her at the time. I guess I did mess up one of the biggest nights of her life."

"You made up for it when you came," Xander told him. "Come to think of it, you looked damn fine in a tux."

"Oooh, Peaches in a tux," Spike teased. He finished drying himself and Xander off while he leered at Angel who was stepping out of the shower.

"Shut up, Spike," Angel warned, grabbing a towel and giving him a dirty look. Xander put his head on Spike's shoulder, nuzzling the vampire's neck.

"Don't tease Angel. He really did look hot." Xander looked at Spike. "Bet you would too."

"Never gonna find out, whelp," Spike hugged Xander close. "I don't wear monkey suits. I prefer my leather."

Xander's mind flashed pictures of Angel and Spike in tuxedos and leather pants and he groaned. "Can we fuck now? I'm getting the visuals here and it's almost as good as what I see in front of me. Can we?" Xander stared at his naked lovers and smiled. Spike led Xander to the sink, handing him a toothbrush with toothpaste on it while he held the boy up.

"After you brush your teeth. As much as I love to kiss those lips and taste your mouth, puke is not a high ranking on the vampire list of things to smell or taste." Xander quickly brushed his teeth, making sure to get his tongue before rinsing his mouth. Spike wiped his mouth with a towel, throwing it to the side and pulling Xander into his arms for a long, tender kiss. When they broke apart, Spike nodded. "Much better, pet."

Xander stared at Spike, his fingers tracing along the vampire's cheekbones. "God, where did you get those beautiful blue eyes? It's like staring into the ocean at sunset. And these cheekbones. Your face is so perfect. I really love your eyes. I could get lost in them and never want to come out. And did I mention your eyes?"

Spike smiled at Xander, taking his hand and kissing the palm of it. He licked down the sides of each finger before sucking on them. "I think you may have commented on them once or twice. But they're no more special than yours. Everything you are, every emotion you feel is right there for anyone to see."

"What do you see in them now?" Xander asked. Spike looked and saw nothing but pure, unadulterated love and desire shining back at him. Spike couldn't say anything, could only stare at the young man in front of him. "If my eyes reflect my emotions and who I am, then what you'll see is my love for you and Angel."

Angel had been drying himself off, but at Xander's words he froze. He looked over at the boy who was staring at first Spike and then him. Both vampires were so overcome with emotion that neither one of them could move. Xander waited for them to say something and when neither one of them did he gave Spike a gentle kiss. "Mmm, tastes so good," he murmured, flicking his tongue along Spike's lip, then entering the cool mouth so that his tongue tasted every inch of Spike's mouth while Spike's tongue did the same to his. Xander's fingers carded through Spike's hair and Spike's hands moved down the boy's body, coming around to squeeze Xander's ass. Xander moaned and leaned into Spike, rubbing their cocks together.

Angel reached for the shampoo, coating his fingers and cock with it as he watched Xander and Spike rub off on each other. They were still kissing, only parting long enough for Xander to take a breath before they kissed again. Spike saw Angel approach and parted Xander's asscheeks, giving Angel access to the waiting pink hole. Angel's finger slid in and Xander moaned, pushing back to welcome the finger that was playing him so well. He sighed happily when a second and then a third finger was added and wriggled between the two vampires, his body asking for more.

Spike took his erection and Xander's into his hand, rubbing back and forth while Angel lined his cock up to Xander's ass, entering him with one long thrust. Xander gasped and leaned his head back on Angel's shoulder, turning his face up towards the older vampire. Angel leaned down and captured Xander's mouth as he started to move in and out of the boy. Spike nibbled Xander's neck and then made his way down the boy's chest, finding a nipple and sucking on it while his hand continued to stroke their cocks.

Xander was lost in the moment. Angel's mouth took control of his, Spike was nibbling on Xander's nipple and every time Angel would thrust into him, Spike would stroke their cocks together in rhythm with the older vampire's thrusts. The sensations of being filled and his body being played so expertly was taking their toll and Xander knew he wasn't going to last long.

"Oh, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," Xander moaned, one hand cupping Angel's face while the other was wrapped around Spike's head, holding the blonde to his chest as Spike continued his assault on first one nipple and then the other. Xander kissed Angel again and the vampire pushed hard into his ass, burying himself deep inside the boy and hitting Xander's prostate. Xander's breath hitched and he pulled out of the kiss. "Right there, Angel. Oh, God right there. Can't hold out much longer, gonna cum," Xander moaned, feeling his orgasm starting to build. Spike let go of their cocks and Xander groaned in disappointment, before gasping when the blonde bent down and a cool mouth engulfed his cock, taking it to the root and swallowing around it. That's all it took and Xander's orgasm washed over him as he screamed their names.

Angel was enjoying the warmth of Xander's hot, tight channel and when Xander pulled back from the kiss he bent his head down, rubbing his cheek in the boy's hair. "Xander, so tight, so hot, you're so fucking good, baby," Xander's muscles tightened around Angel's cock when his orgasm began and Angel groaned, his own orgasm rushing through him. His yell accompanied Xander's screams as he shot his cool semen deep into the boy's ass.

Spike knew that Xander was going to cum and he wanted to taste the boy. He let go of their erections and bent to take in Xander's hot cock. He barely had time to cover the boy's shaft before his mouth was filled with Xander's warm cum. Spike swallowed greedily, drinking it down until there was no more. He licked the boy clean and stood, taking Xander's weight and Angel's as the other two came down from their orgasms. He kissed Xander, sharing his taste with him before doing the same with Angel. Angel pulled out of Xander and stood back, staring at his lovers before deciding they needed another round. He had been a walking hard on most of the night and he needed more.

"Let's take this into the bedroom."

At Angel's words, Xander backed away, noticing that Spike's erection was still there. Xander jumped into the vampire's arms, wrapping his legs around Spike's body while his arms came around the vampire's neck. "I want to play jump the vampire. Or is it jump and ride? Or slip and slide? Whatever, I don't care what it's called, I just want to do it." Xander seated himself on Spike's engorged erection, Spike's cock sliding in easily since Xander's channel was coated with Angel's seed. Xander began to ride Spike's cock and he threw his head back, his eyes closed in ecstasy as his cock hardened once again.

Spike was taken by surprise when Xander jumped into his arms and he was going to ask the boy what he was doing when he felt Xander's warmth around his cock. Spike watched his boy ride his thick shaft, head thrown back, a smile of satisfaction on his face and Spike knew he had to take Xander now. He turned and pushed Xander up against the bathroom wall, capturing the boy's mouth in a passionate kiss as he took over, pounding into Xander's ass. Xander grabbed the shower curtain rod as he tried to steady himself while answering Spike's kiss. They parted and Spike's mouth went to Xander's chest where he sucked on the boy's nipple, hearing Xander's gasps of pleasure as he continued to take the boy hard and fast.

"Spike, yes, oh, yes, fuck me hard, God, I love your cock, love having it inside me, fucking me please fuck me," Xander screamed the last two words before shooting his semen onto his and Spike's chests. Spike came with him and leaned against the boy for a few moments before he felt his cock hardening again. He had been waiting for this all night and he was still horny as hell. Spike turned and made his way to the bedroom, still carrying Xander, his now hard cock still seated in the boy. They fell onto the bed and Spike pushed them over to the middle of the bed, his thrust burying him even deeper inside Xander. Xander's eyes widened and he pulled Spike into a kiss. When it was over, Spike sat up and grinned at the boy.

"It's not over yet, Xander. Been waiting all night to do this and I'm going to make it last as long as possible."

"Got to love vampire recovery time." Xander watched Spike lift his legs over the vampire's shoulders and gasped when Spike started thrusting in and out of his hole once again, this time more slowly. "Don't know if I can...can keep up with you."

"Oh, I'm sure you can. Teenage hormones and all that, second best to vampire recovery." Spike stroked Xander in time with his thrusts and Xander was surprised when his cock once again sprang to attention.

"God, I love you two," Xander sighed happily, watching Angel come up behind Spike. When Spike leaned in for a kiss, Angel took that moment to push inside the younger vampire and Spike groaned into the kiss, feeling Angel's cool, hard shaft fill him as he fucked Xander. They stilled for a moment before Spike started to move and soon they had a rhythm going. Angel pushing into Spike, Spike thrusting into Xander and Xander writhing underneath him, his hands digging into Spike's shoulders as he begged for more.

They stayed like this for a long time, the only sounds in the room being the sounds of flesh on flesh and the moans of ecstasy. Angel came first, his cool seed filling Spike as he bit into the younger vampire's neck. Spike came as soon as Angel's fangs penetrated his skin and he gave Xander's shaft a few more tugs before Xander followed. Angel and Spike collapsed onto the bed in a sated heap, Spike spooning up against Xander while the boy laid his head on Angel's chest, the older vampire's arms encasing them both. No one said a word as they drifted off to sleep, tired from the day's activities and the round of lovemaking. *********************************************

Xander sat up in the bed with a start, his breath coming in small gasps, his heart racing in his chest and a sheen of sweat covering his body. He looked around and saw that the bed was empty. His hands rubbed across the covers and sheets, searching for any signs of dust saying that his lovers were dead. Finding none, Xander jumped out of the bed and went to the closet, finding a pair of jeans and a green t-shirt. He got dressed in record time and made his way out into the living room. No one was there, so he ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, ignoring the pounding in his skull. Xander had to find Angel and Spike. He couldn't take this anymore - he had to tell them about Lindsey.

"Well, hello Mr. Bed-head. How are we feeling this afternoon? Hope it's better than you look or you're in for a rough day." Cordelia said.

"Thanks for the compliment," Xander ran his hands through his unruly locks, trying to straighten them but only making them worse. "Where are Angel and Spike?"

"They went out to kill a nest of demons camped in the sewers under some girls school. Needless to say, it's a non-paying job because it was one of Doyle's visions. You know, I don't think it's very fair of the PTB to ask Angel, Spike and Doyle to do all the work without giving them some kind of monetary compensation. I mean, how are we supposed to keep this agency going if all we do is their work. We definitely need some paying clients."

"Yeah, well I'm sure we'll find some - after all it's a big city with lots of people and there are probably some with a demon problem. Speaking of money, I'll be bringing in a paycheck pretty soon. I got a job yesterday at a construction company downtown. I start tomorrow. And did you say afternoon? As in after 12?" Xander rambled, grabbing a mug and pouring himself a cup of coffee, careful to add plenty of cream and sugar.

"I hope we find some clients, that's great about the job and the paycheck, how much are you going to be making and yes, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon," Cordelia answered, still able to decipher her ex- boyfriend's rantings. She heard Wesley clearing his throat rather loudly and turned to look at him. "What?"

"Cordelia, a gentleman never discusses his finances with other people."

"That's okay. Xander's not a gentleman, well not in the stuffy British kind of way."

"I'm not going to be making alot at first but it's enough to pay the rent on this place and still have some left over and I'll be getting medical and dental insurance which is a definite plus as far as I'm concerned."

"What about life insurance - cause I'm thinking that if Angel and Spike are out of the loop on this whole 'you getting a job and Lindsey knowing about it before we did', you're going to need it," Doyle told him.

Xander tried to look nonchalant. "It's no big deal. I'm sure they'll understand when I explain everything to them."

"Xander, while I don't want to rain on your parade, I think you're fooling yourself if you think Angel and Spike are going to take the news well. Vampires are possessive and very protective of those they love."

"I know that, Wesley. We've already discussed this and while they weren't happy, Angel and Spike both agreed to let me do it. Nothing's changed."

"Hello? Earth to denial guy. Things have definitely changed since Mr. Obsessed stepped into the picture. He's become stalker guy big time, which by the way, creeps me out. And if it gives me the wiggins I know you have to be worried about it. I don't even want to know what Angel and Spike will do." Cordelia stated.

"Angel and Spike have trained me and I think they have confidence in the fact that I can take care of myself when it comes to Lindsey or anything else. Besides, I'm more worried about something happening to any of you if Lindsey tries anything. You guys need to stay out of the line of fire and let me handle this, okay?"

"No way," Oz said.

"Not a chance," Wesley agreed.

"Hell, no," Doyle added.

"What they said," Cordy pointed at the others.

"Come on, guys---" Xander stopped when he noticed the glances being exchanged between his friends. "What gives? You don't think I can take care of myself when it comes to Lindsey do you?"

"It's not that, Xander. It's just...well, this job came on all of the sudden and Lindsey knew about it and maybe---" Cordelia looked worried.

"You think I got the job because of Lindsey?"

"No, I'm quite sure that you have the talent but you have no qualifications. We know you Xander, therefore we have every confidence in your capabilities, but..." Wesley's voice trailed off, seeing Xander's hurt look and Oz took up where he left off.

"Can't help wondering is all."

"We're only trying to be cautious, Xander." Wesley said.

"Before you say anything, think about how you would feel if I was being stalked by some evil lawyer guy and then all of a sudden I got a big part in a movie even though I've never had an acting job. Wouldn't you feel the same way?" Cordelia asked him. Xander knew she was right so he threw his hands up in a 'I give up' gesture.

"You're right. Okay, so how do we go about finding out if Lindsey is behind this sudden career luck I'm having because I don't want to give this job up because of maybes or what ifs."

"Give us the name of the company and the guy you'll be working for. Cordy and I will do a background check to see if Lindsey or Wolfram and Hart have any associations with them," Doyle answered.

"Good thinking. You are the little dick aren't you?" Xander flushed with embarrassment when everyone but Doyle laughed at his words. "I meant like uh, sleuth, a gumshoe, Sherlock."

"All I know is, you use the word dick again and we're going to have a problem." Doyle took the business card from Xander before sitting down in front of the computer.

"You can use that word on me. I love to hear you say it, pet," Spike said as he and Angel walked into the room. They set their weapons down and found themselves with an armful of Xander. "What's this all about? Miss us that much did you?"

"Always," Xander murmured, trying to get control of his emotions. The memories of his nightmare returned the minute he saw Angel and Spike and he needed to reassure himself that the two men he loved more than life itself was safe.

"Seeing Lindsey last night set you off again, did it?" Spike played with Xander's hair as he comforted the boy. Xander nodded and Spike took his hand, leading him down into the apartment while Angel told the others that they were not to be disturbed. As the three made their way downstairs, everyone hoped that this would not be a major blowout even though they were pretty sure it would be. ************************************************

"Is there anything you need to tell us, Xan?" Spike asked, knowing that there was. Both he and Angel had wanted to talk to Xander before leaving but the boy hadn't woken up and then Doyle had told them about his vision. After Lorne's cryptic warning and the way everyone was acting, they knew they were being left out of something - something very important and that wasn't good.

"Yeah, there is." Angel took Xander's hands in his while Spike held him in his arms. Xander leaned back against Spike and squeezed Angel's hands. Angel stared into the boy's eyes. He didn't like what he was seeing there.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to jump in headfirst. When we were in Sunnydale and Lindsey tried to....you know, I didn't tell you the whole truth." Spike's arms tightened around Xander's waist.

"What did the arsewipe do that you neglected to tell us, Xander?"

"Lindsey threatened to kill you." Xander was shocked when Angel and Spike started laughing. "It's not funny, damnit. I had a dream that you guys were dusted and I was totally freaking out."

"Sorry, luv," Spike kissed Xander's cheek and gave the boy a squeeze. "I'm sorry you got scared. That's not what we were laughing at."

"Then tell me what's so hilarious because I don't see the funny in this situation."

"Lindsey tried threatening us last night, but Spike and I set him straight. He'll stay away from all of us if he knows what's good for him." Angel saw the look of guilt that flashed across Xander's face. "Is there something else you neglected to tell us? Like maybe Lindsey has threatened you? Our family? Possibly both?"

"I'm sorry. I should have told you but I thought Lindsey was just angry and saying things he didn't mean. Turns out I was wrong. I put everyone's lives in danger, including yours. God, if anything had happened to anyone, especially you two, on account of me-----"

"What exactly did Lindsey say, Xander?" Angel let go of the boy's hands as he began to pace back and forth in front of the couch.

Xander tracked Angel's movements, noting the tight, set look on his face, the anger in the vampire's movements and the calmness in his voice. He couldn't see Spike's reaction but if it was anything like Angel's, he was definitely in some deep shit. Xander knew that Spike and Angel weren't oblivious to what was going on around them and had probably figured it all out but he dove into his explanation anyway.

"That if he couldn't have me, no one else would. That if I didn't come back to him, he'd come and get me whether I liked it or not. That he would know everything I did, everywhere I went until that happened. I think that covers it."

"Said that did he?" Spike growled, his arms having tightened around Xander's waist at every sentence until Xander was having trouble breathing. Or maybe it was the nervous tension inside of him - Xander couldn't be sure. "So why decide to tell us now? Could it be that the wanker proved last night that he wasn't bluffing?"

"That pretty much sums it up."

"We knew something was wrong, Xander. How long did you think you could keep this from us?" Angel asked.

"Forever would have been nice," Xander answered without thinking. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself being pulled around to look into Spike's amber eyes. His hands were holding Xander's arms in a death grip.

"Tell us what that asshole said to you last night and this time make sure you don't leave anything out."

"Fine, I'll tell you. I finally found a job yesterday at a construction company and I couldn't wait to tell you but you were gone and then we fought those vampires and then there was that bachelor party and then---"

"We know what we did last night, Xander. Get on with the part that everyone, including Lorne, seems to know about but your lovers don't," Spike growled, feeling hurt that Xander was having so much trouble confiding in him.

"And when Spike says everything, we do mean everything," Angel added, just as hurt as Spike.

"Okay, okay. Lindsey and I got into an argument. He kept insisting that we still loved each other. I told Lindsey to stop living in the past and get on with his life, to stop making threats and that's when he said they weren't threats and then he congratulated me on getting the job, making some smart remark about muscles and tans." Xander stopped for a moment as growling came from behind him and in front of him. *Shit, this was bad*. He took a deep breath and continued, "What squicked me out was the fact that there was no possible way Lindsey could have known about my new job unless he really has been having someone following me."

"Is that it?" Angel asked.

"No. When I reminded him that stalking someone was a crime, Lindsey made it clear that he could get away with doing whatever he wanted."

"So he thinks he's above the law?"

Xander shrugged his shoulders while Angel stared at him. "I don't know but it scared me, made me angry and also sick. That's when Doyle took me to Lorne's office and I don't know what happened after that."

Xander waited for his lovers to say something, but neither did. Instead, Spike let go of Xander, getting up and walking to the corner of the room where he stood with his back to the boy while Angel continued his pacing. Silence filled the room until Xander couldn't stand it anymore.

"So is this the part where you tell me you're not angry, just disappointed in me?"

Spike turned to face him. "Pretty much. Except for the bit about not being angry."

"Okay, figuring out the angry part now that I see the vamp face but I was still hoping."

"You should have told us this earlier, Xander. And don't give us that line about thinking that it was all a bluff. You were afraid to tell us and I can't for the life of me figure out why. Have we given you any reason not to trust us?" Angel asked, looking at the boy with hurt in his eyes. Xander glanced at Spike and saw the same thing in his blue ones. Xander's heart wrenched at the thought that he had been the one to upset Spike and Angel so much by not telling them everything. He shook his head, his throat too choked with emotion to answer them as he stared dejectedly at the floor.

"We're not the bleedin' Scoobies, luv. You can feel comfortable talking to us about anything that happens in your life whether it's good or bad."

"I do," Xander managed to say. Finally he stood and walked over to his lovers. "I know that saying I'm sorry isn't enough to make you trust me again or take away the hurt but I am...sorry, that is. If I could go back in time I would do it all differently but I can't. All I can tell you is that I will never keep anything from you ever again."

"Better not, pet. We don't take kindly to being left in the dark, especially about something this important and not when it comes to the people we love." Spike told him, running his finger down the boy's cheek. Xander gave him a tentative smile.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?"

"Only if you've learned from this." Xander nodded his head and Angel continued, "You need to listen to us from now on and follow our directions until this situation is resolved."

"What directons?"

"For starters, there will be no outings for you unless one of us goes with you. We're going to pay a visit to Lindsey to make sure that he understands who he's dealing with and what the consequences are for not listening to us." Angel watched as Xander shook his head at the two of them.

"Not a chance. I'm supposed to start work tomorrow and ---"

"You're not going anywhere tomorrow, Xander." Spike interrupted him.

"So you expect me to -"

"Do exactly what Spike said. Not. Go. Anywhere." Angel stressed every word like he was talking to a little child and Xander went from being apologetic and guilty to angry and defensive.

"No. Fucking. Way." Xander said, just as pointedly as Angel had. He faced his lovers, hands on hips and a stubborn look on his face. "I worked hard to find that job and it's something I think I can really be good at and if you think I'm going to give it up because of some ex-boyfriend and his threats then you don't know me as well as I thought you did."

"I know you well enough to know how stubborn you can be. Don't make me chain you to the bed to keep you safe." Spike threatened.

"I'm beginning to think maybe I was right not to tell you about Lindsey. You're acting a little overly, aren't you? It's not like Lindsey's going to try something stupid in broad daylight. And if he does, I'll deal with it."

Spike threw his arms up and started pacing the room, his voice loud. "What the bleeding hell is wrong with you, Xander? What the hell does it take to make you understand that it's too dangerous for you to take that job with Lindsey sniffing around. Why do you torture us by trying to get yourself hurt or killed?"

"Okay, is there any answer to those questions that won't make you nuts? Or more nuttier?" Xander asked.

"I'm at the end of my bleedin' tether, you know I don't know why I even bother to try to explain anything to you, Xander. You're the most stubborn, obstinate, pig-headed ----". Spike's rant came to an end when they heard the elevator descend and their friends peeked inside.

"This better be important because I'm pretty sure I said we didn't want to be disturbed," Angel growled at them, keeping his gaze fixed on Xander.

"We just wanted to tell Xander that Cordy and I ran that check for him and it came up negative," Doyle gave Xander the two thumbs up sign.

"Thanks, guys." Xander turned to face Angel and Spike. "I understand you're angry and hurt. I made a mistake - it's not my first one and it won't be my last. But no one is going to keep me under lock and key. And I'm going to take that job, not because I'm stubborn or obstinate but because I want it."

"Xander, this is more serious than you're taking it. I did plenty of stalking in my day and every time it ended up very badly - for the other person. I'm not going to let you go out and make yourself an open target for Lindsey to do anything he wants. It's never going to happen, so forget it." Angel told him.

"You want to talk about stalking and being an open target? I remember when Angelus did that to Buffy and guess what - I'm still here," Xander pointed out.

"Because I was stalking Buffy."

"Excuse me. I was there too, and if I recall you were more interested in trying to kill all her friends. You barely laid a hand on Buffy," Cordelia pointed out.

"I know what I did, Cordelia," Angel snapped. "There's two reasons that all of you survived. Good luck and Buffy."

"There were plenty of times Buffy wasn't around where you could have gotten to any one of us, Angel and there's not much good luck when you live on the Hellmouth." Xander's anger and frustration were building.

"Xander, I could have killed you that time I pulled you from Buffy's window. The only thing that saved you was the fact that Dru was under a love spell. Stop and think about it. A vampire like Dru saving a boy like you? What are the odds of that happening if not for luck?"

Xander's eyes flashed with hurt and anger. "How could I have forgotten how lucky I was? I grew up in a town full of monsters and demons. I got to watch friends die, I got hurt on a regular basis and oh, let's not forget my wonderful home life. I'm a poster child for lucky. They should plaster my picture on 'Lucky Charms' cereal boxes, I'm so fucking lucky!"

"Xander, you know what Angel meant when ---" Spike began, but Xander wasn't paying any attention to him. He was too busy pacing back and forth, talking to himself.

"God, I am so stupid. Why do I even try? Nobody ever listens to me. I try to tell people I'm a survivor but they don't believe me. It's always, 'you're good for nothing, boy' or 'you get in the way, let me handle this' but do they ever see the things I do right? Hell, no. Okay, so I screw up sometimes, so does everyone else. That doesn't mean I haven't done anything good or that I can't take care of myself. When are people going to see me? They say they do but they don't. I prove that I can handle bad situations and everyone's like 'oh, Xander I trust that you can handle things' but as soon as something bad happens it's back to being helpless Xander again."

Spike walked over to Xander and put his arm on the boy's shoulder. "Xander, stop---"

Xander pulled away from the contact, staring angrily at him and Angel. "You had me thinking that my opinions mattered, that you were better than Buffy because you believed in my abilities but it was all a lie."

"No, Xander ---"

"Well, you know what? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of being the demon magnet and the butt monkey. I'm tired of playing victim. That ended when I left Sunnydale. Buffy not believing in me hurt but it's nothing in comparison to what I'm feeling now. I've got news for you - I'm smarter than I seem and I'm stronger than I look. I haven't had an easy life but I'm not complaining because it taught me how to stand and fight. I've let Lindsey manipulate me, making me scared of his threats, making me have nightmares, but it ends now. I'll be careful but it's not in my blood to just lay down."

"And it's not in ours to let someone we love go off half cocked and get themselves into trouble or worse," Spike told him. "Why can't you just listen to us for once without arguing."

"Uh, just a thought here. It seems to me that none of you have been listening to what the other is saying." Oz said.

"Yeah, why don't you try to calm down and come to some sort of compromise." Doyle asked.

"There is no compromising when it comes to Xander's life," Angel stated firmly.

"That's right. Xander's life. My life." Xander pointed out.

"The life that's a part of ours now," Spike argued. "It's two against one so that's settled and I don't want to hear another bloody thing about it."

"Fine, I won't say another word about going to work tomorrow." Spike started to say something but Xander turned away from him. "Cordy, do we have any aspirin cause I've got one hell of a headache."

"No, Doyle took the last ones for his hangover."

"That's okay. I'll go down to the market and get---"

"We'll come with you," Spike and Angel started to follow and Xander turned to glare at them.

"Can't. Still too sunny. Not talking to you two anyway. Oz, can you take me? Maybe then I won't bang my foot against a shopping cart or better yet you can rescue me if I happen to get beat up by an old woman who thinks I'm reaching for the last bottle of Geritol."

"Why not? I could use the exercise." The two boys headed out the door, everyone watching them go before three pairs of eyes turned to look at Angel and Spike.

"What was that all about? Didn't you listen to me back in Sunnydale when I warned you about making Xander feel useless?" Doyle asked.

"Yes, I quite agree. Angel, Spike far be it from me to give you advice on how to handle your relationship but I must say that Xander has a point. If he allows Lindsey to control his life then he's still a victim and no one wants to be a victim." Wesley added, knowing exactly how Xander felt.

"This isn't about making Xander feel useless or like a victim. This is about protecting him from a crazy psychotic who happens to be tracking his every movement. We know Xander can defend himself against vampires and demons because he's capable of killing them, but Lindsey is a human. A human that Xander used to love. Do you really think he could do what needs to be done if push comes to shove?" Angel asked.

"And when you say push comes to shove what exactly does that mean?" Cordelia asked.

"It means that we'll do whatever is necessary to keep Lindsey away from Xander. If that means ripping his heart out and tearing him limb from limb then that's what we'll bloody well do." Spike told her. Cordelia scrunched her nose up and scowled at him.

"Do you always have to be so graphic when answering the simplest questions?"

"I'm a vampire. It's my nature to be graphic."

"This is Xander's fight. It was Xander who was almost raped by someone he thought he could trust. It's Xander who is living through this." Wesley told them.

"We're living it too, Wesley and I've seen enough of this to know that Lindsey is losing it." Angel told him.

"You think he's going to blow?" Cordelia asked.

"I do."

"Xander's scared even if he won't admit it. Lindsey's had him on the ropes for a while now." Spike agreed with Angel.

"Then you better help Xander get mad because that's the only way he's going to be able to fight Lindsey," Doyle told them.

"Hopefully, we'll be doing the fighting," Spike said.

"That's not what Doyle means," Wesley interjected. "Lindsey could go to jail, you two could kill him and it wouldn't matter. Lindsey could still kill Xander in his dreams every night. Believe me, I know. The hardest thing about being attacked is remembering it, knowing that every time you're afraid it means he's still winning. Lindsey's taken Xander's power away from him and nobody can get it back for him but him."

"Sounds like you're talking from experience," Angel eyed Wesley.

"I am." Wesley turned and walked out of the room followed closely by Cordelia and Doyle. Angel and Spike sat down to wait for Xander to come home, each of them thinking about Wesley's words.


Chapter Twenty-Nine

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