This pretty bauble was made especially for me and my story by the lovely Suki. Thanks to Suki...along with hugs and kisses.

I am proud to announce that my story has been nominated at the Fangfetish Awards. There are quite a few great authors nominated so take a look at everyone's work and please vote.

Spoilers: "Harsh Light of Day" and progresses into "In The Dark", "Room With a View" and further. Remember that I have taken my favorite episodes and worked them around so try not to be confused with the order or don't be surprised to find things that never happened on either show as I've thrown more and more of my own writing into it as it goes along. Also, I stick with what Spike first said when he appeared, Angel was his sire, his yoda not Dru.

Spike stood on a rooftop as his sire rescued yet another girl in distress. It confirmed what he had heard - that while he and Dru had taken off to parts unknown after the Acathla fiasco - Angelus had been kicked into hell by Buffy, reappearing months later as Angel. He once again had his soul and was playing at being a white hat for the second time. The only difference was he had left Buffy to relocate here in Los Angeles leaving his one true love in Sunnydale to fight the Hellmouth while starting the college thing with her friend Willow.

Spike's viewpoint was that she wasn't adapting too well at college, especially from the boyfriend standpoint. From what Spike had seen of Parker Abrams at the party that he and Harmony had crashed, the boy was just a pale figure in comparison to his sire. She had fallen into bed with the boy, only to have him rebuff her and leave her dangling and wanting for more. How the mighty have fallen Spike thought to himself. I mean really, what was she thinking taking up with that arsewipe of a boy.

Speaking of arsewipe’s what about himself, a little voice inside his head asked. Yes, he had been very stupid to taunt the slayer over her lost loves, especially Angel. He should have know that as soon as he mentioned tall, dark and broody the slayer would lose it. Damn his big mouth sometimes he thought to himself. He was beating the slayer good and proper until Angel's name had come into the mix. Oh, well, another lesson learned for the next time he faced the slayer.

He drug himself out of his thoughts long enough to make fun of his poof of a Sire as he watched the girl he had just rescued trying to chat up Angel. He entertained himself by imagining just what exactly they were saying. "How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of the night thing," Spike intoned girlishly before using a different deeper voice as Angel's. "No need little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire but love and a pesky curse de-fanged me and now I'm just a biiig, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair, never the hair", Spike continued - he just had to get that dig in on his sire - for someone who could not see his own reflection Angel was obsessive about his hair, Spike thought as he watched and then continued playing his little mocking game. "But there must be some way I can show my appreciation" little girl voice again. "No helping those in need is my job and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough" manly voice said. "I understand, I have a nephew who's gay so-" girly voice responded. "Say no more, " manly voice replied, "evil's afoot and I'm almost out of that Nancy boy hair gel I like so much. Off to the Angel mobile away, " Spike concluded his monologue with a little smirk as he lit his cigarette and watched Angel walk the girl to his car.

He lit a cigarette and started to smoke it as he got ready to follow Angel to wherever he was going. He knew that Buffy would want her former lover to have the Gem of Amarra so that he wouldn't get killed. All he had to do was watch and wait patiently for just the right moment and he would finally have what he felt rightly belonged to him. Spike sighed. Patience was never one of his virtues but if it meant getting his ring back, he would do just that. He had worked too long and hard to get that ring, digging up half of Sunnydale and having to put up with Harmony to boot, to let someone else get his reward.

Oz and Xander finally pulled up in front of the address they had been given for Angel's office/home. The radio announcer had just informed them it was 11:05 p.m. They had arrived in L.A. for The Dingoes Ate My Baby's first gig and were delivering the Gem of Amara to Angel like Buffy had asked them to do before going home. They looked at each other and without saying a word stepped out of the van smiling. Neither man could believe that the reclusive Angel had not only become a private investigator in Los Angeles, but that he had also hired two people to work for him, if Giles' information was correct. One was a man they had never heard of and the other was one Ms. Cordelia Chase. Who would have thought that one dark, broody vampire would hook up with a loud, opinionated young ex-cheerleader? Only in L.A.

They walked towards the entrance to the building in companionable silence. While Oz was nothing but calm and cool, Xander was a bundle of nerves. Not only was he going to see Angel, but also Cordelia and it was that thought that made Xander even more nervous than seeing Angel. And wasn't that a kick in the head - he was more afraid of a scorned ex-girlfriend than a vampire (all be it souled) that he had never gotten along with and had second-handedly through Buffy sent to hell. He just hoped that when the truth came out that Cordelia would cling to the tentative truce they had had when she left for L.A.

He smiled as he remembered how beautiful she had looked in her prom dress that night. It had been worth the money he had spent to get her dress out of layaway and see the smile she had given him while thanking him for what he had done. He had felt it was the least he could do after breaking her heart and almost getting her killed. He would have done anything to be able to turn back the hands of time so that he could have changed what happened between he and Willow. Xander loved Cordelia, he had never wanted to hurt her like that. But at least they had been able to mend fences at the prom and had continued to act friendly towards each other throughout graduation and the fight with the mayor. He hoped that they could maintain that friendship. Xander hated losing friends. He didn't have that many close friends, but the ones he did have he liked to keep. Once Xander gave his heart to someone they usually had a piece of it for the rest of his life.

Angel was a different story. He had never been particularly fond of the vampire when he had lived in Sunnydale. Contrary to what everyone had thought, it wasn't just the Buffy issue that had made him dislike the souled vampire. It had run much deeper than that. It had been his hatred for any vampire, demon, anything non-human. Anyone he felt would take his loved ones away from him once again like Darla had done with Jessie. He had never been comfortable around Angel. He always seemed so dark and mysterious, so broody, so close to becoming Angelus at any given moment, that Xander was always afraid that he would revert back to his old killing ways. He was always careful and on guard when he was around the vampire.

However, during his trip this past summer he had landed in Oxnard with a broken down car and no money to get it fixed so he had to take the only job he could find which was at a strip club which catered to not only humans but demons and half human-half demons as well. While he was there he found that not all demons were bad as Giles had led them to believe, but rather that some of them were just trying to live their lives in peace with their families. It bothered Xander to think that he and the gang may have killed innocent bystanders just because they were different. Somehow, that just didn't seem right, so he had started studying up on demonology, trying to find out as much as he could about each species and whether they were just non-human or whether they were out to take over the world. He had also learned a lot at the club he worked at when he was bartending and his boss, being half demon had helped him immensely.

He had changed a lot over the summer and knew that his friends had not really noticed any of the changes, except in his style of clothes. They had been starting college and had just let it slide without questioning him, something that Xander didn't know whether he was glad of or was very sorry about. He knew that he was having enough trouble trying to understand the differences in himself without having to do it for the others. Even though he had learned to trust some demons, he couldn't figure out how he felt about Angel/Angelus. The man was a mystery to him. The only thing he knew was that after all the soul searching he had done while away, it was time to come clean about the past with his friends and with Angel. He wished he had done it sooner, but better late than never.

Xander had decided it was time to go to Angel and tell him what had really happened the night that the vampire had been sent to hell. He was going to tell him about the lie he told Buffy and do his best to try to make Angel see his reasons for doing what he had done. This would actually be the first time Xander had ever told anyone the whole story, except for a few of his friends in Oxnard, some of whom had liked him even when he told them he had worked with the slayer.

When Oz had mentioned taking the ring to Angel, Xander had pulled him aside and asked if he could come along. Although Oz was leery at first he soon understood that Xander needed this time with Angel for whatever reason and had agreed to help him out. His friend had helped Xander dodge Buffy, Willow and Anya's surprised questions when he had announced that he would be going to Los Angeles with Oz when the ring was turned over to Angel. Buffy thought he was just going to cause trouble for Angel, something she would never allow. Willow was afraid that he would do something stupid like throw the ring out the window while Oz was driving and Anya was just upset because she wouldn't have anyone to sleep with while he was away. Giles was the only one who hadn't said anything...whether it was because he didn't care or because he felt Xander needed to do this for some reason was anyone's guess.

Oz had taken over the conversation and admitted that he had asked Xander to come along to keep him company for the drive up and to help the band out with moving the equipment around. Xander had just been fired from his latest job so he was sure it was a sign from a higher power that he should tag along. After several warnings to Xander to behave himself while around the souled vampire and affirmations from Oz that he would keep their friend in line, the girls had finally relented and they had been allowed to leave.

He had seriously pissed Anya off by going on this trip with Oz. She had just recently started her campaign to become his girlfriend, but he didn't consider Anya like that. She was a beautiful woman but there didn't seem to be anything real between them. She had walked into his apartment a few weeks ago and dropped her clothing saying that she wanted to "interlock parts", and while Xander considered this more romantic than Faith it was still not the kind of relationship he wanted. The sex was o.k. he guessed, but he wanted to feel a connection with someone, and to be able to trust that person implicitly. He didn't care if it was a man or woman, in fact, he was shocked to find from his time away that he had grown more and more interested in the men around him. Being away from everyone who knew him, Xander could relax around others and just be himself. He didn't have to be Xander the faithful sidekick. He became more confident and with that confidence came the knowledge that he was bi-sexual.

Ever since Larry had confessed to him in the locker room that he was gay, Xander had been left wondering at the conversation they had had regarding his own sexuality. Xander had vehemently denied being gay at the time but now he realized that he certainly wasn't straight. He remembered all the times he had thought a guy was attractive - Larry, Oz, even the vampires known as Angel and Spike. And he remembered his time at the Sundown Club, which catered to both sexes, how he had felt dancing in front of a bunch of men. It had really turned him on. And even though Xander had gotten plenty of offers from both men and women during that summer, he had never took any of them up on their offers of sex. He didn't want a bunch of meaningless nights of sex. He wanted to find someone special that would see him for himself...not just a toy.

He was curious about having sex with other men and had spent many nights watching gay pornographic movies. He had to say he was truly aroused by them. Xander wanted to be careful about who he chose to give this virginity away to, though. After his experience with Faith, he wanted the first man he would be with to at least care for him or let him cuddle with them for more than 10 minutes before throwing him out on his ass.

There were a lot of men that were regulars at the club but only one had truly caught his eye. He was a sexy, blonde, with twinkling blue eyes, and his smile was so full of mischievousness that Xander always felt himself smiling back at the man whenever he caught his eye. Even though he had come to the club quite often to watch Xander dance, and had seemed to enjoy the show, he always managed to slip out of the club before Xander could meet him. After a while, Xander had chalked it up to another blonde who had caught his eye, only to reject him because he wasn't quite good enough.

Xander had stayed in Oxnard for the entire summer even though he had enough money from tips and dancing within two weeks to pay for the repairs to his car. He was having fun being whoever he wanted to be without answering to anyone. But after awhile, he realized he needed to get back to the gang and help them with the demon slaying and certain apocalypses that would come their way and so he had said good-bye to his friends with a promise to return someday, and had packed everything into his car and returned to Sunnydale. He was no longer in his comfortable bedroom upstairs anymore, but was instead relegated to the confines of his parent's dingy basement where he had to pay rent for the hell-hole to his less than loving parents.

The one good thing he had going in his life right now was that he had more confidence in himself. Well he was trying to anyway. It was a slow and arduous process. After feeling like he was a nothing for 18 years, he couldn't just change overnight - even after his summer away. He did, however, vow to himself that he would not let his father lay another hand on him without fighting back. Xander knew it upset his mother when they fought, well at least when she wasn't drunk, and it was because he didn't want her to get hurt trying to take up for him that he let his father beat on him. But that had to end. He didn't relish the showdown, and thankfully his father must have noticed that Xander had a different attitude because he hadn't laid a hand on him since his return home. He had just yelled a lot when he was drunk. That Xander could handle. He just tuned him out, or at least tried to, when his father told him he was worthless, good for nothing etc. Still there was a little, oh who was he kidding, a lot of the scared little boy still inside that cringed when he heard those words.

He was determined that no one was going to push Xander Harris around anymore. It was like he had been reborn in Oxnard and he wasn't going back to being that scared little boy anymore. His mind wandered again to the blonde he had never met at the club and if there was anything he regretted about his summer it was that one thing – never getting to meet the man that had held his interest and entered his dreams from time to time.

Returning from his reverie, Xander noticed that his jeans had gotten tighter and that his erection was tenting his pants for everyone to see. He blushed, knowing that his companion, and possibly Angel if he didn't get this fixed soon, would be able to smell his arousal. Hoping that Oz misconstrued the moment and thought Xander was thinking about seeing Cordelia again, he turned to make up some excuse as to why he couldn't continue on to the doorway and found himself looking into the amused face of Oz. Damn those preternatural senses that werewolves and vampires had. They were almost as bad as when Buffy could read their minds and all he could think about was sex, naked Buffy, naked - oh shit. Couldn't he just hang with normal people like himself? Guess it just wasn't in the cards for a demon magnet like himself.

"Having trouble keeping up with me Xander?" Oz inquired somewhat jokingly.

"What? No...yeah...I mean why don't you go on ahead and I'll join you in a few minutes. I just want to get my courage up...I mean...well, it's been a while since I saw Cordy and I don't know whether I'm going to be greeted with a slap on the face or a kiss."

"Well I think you're hoping for a kiss because it looks like your courage is not the only thing that's up. Oz responded with a knowing grin. "Don't worry, I'll go on in and you can join me in a few minutes."

"Thanks. Oh, Oz don't tell them I'm out here yet cause I want to surprise them.

"Don't worry, Xander I won't spoil your secret." And with a laugh Oz opened the door and walked into the building leaving Xander behind wondering if there was ever going to be a day where he didn't totally humiliate himself. Doubtful. Chalk it up to the Harris loser syndrome, also known as Murphy's law, if something could go wrong it would. And where did that thought come from? He had to remind himself that he was a changed man once again, before he walked into Angel's office.

Oz strode into the offices of Angel Investigations with a bemused smile on his face. All the way here Xander had seemed to be off in his own world, hardly talking and only when Oz did the prompting. So much for the theory of bringing Xander along for the company. While usually Xander would have kept him entertained, he had been oddly quiet as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. No use in wondering about it. Oz knew Xander well enough to know that he would tell him when he was ready and Oz could wait.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he stepped into Angel's office. Seated at a desk was Cordelia and across from her an attractive, dark-haired man with laughing green eyes. Those eyes were currently trained on the beautiful girl in front of him and he was laughing indulgently at her as she waved around what looked like an invoice. She seemed very proud of herself and very happy at the prospect of making money. Oh, well a happy Cordelia was of the good.

"Hello, LA", Oz said as he made his presence known to the two in the room.

"Oz, oh my god, Oz I am so happy to see you, good old Oz," Cordy babbled hugging him tightly. She turned to the man with a continued smile and brightly intoned, "Oz".

"Let me just take a stab at this but you'd be Oz?". The green eyed man grinned at the boy.

"Good guess."

"This is so cool," Cordelia continued. "I mean here you are, in L.A. and you're the total embodiment of all things Sunnydale."

"Well, it's a burden but I manage," Oz deadpanned.

"O.K., we have serious catching up to do." Cordelia turned her full attention on Oz forgetting about the other man in the room for a few minutes. "How's everything, how's the Bronze?"

"The same." My gosh, where did she think it would go to?

"And the gang?"

"They're good."

"Good, good, good." Cordelia wound down. Oz wondered if she was considering asking about anyone specific, namely Xander so he looked at her and asked, "We done?"

"Completely, " Cordy said and then turned when she heard the man in behind her making noises while trying to get her attention. "Oh, this is Doyle, he uh air quotes works here."

The guys exchanged greetings and handshakes before Oz started his own round of questioning. "So I heard the rumors you can, uh fill me in on the real deal, you guys are like detectives?

"No, I'm an actress", Cordelia replied looking at Oz as if he had two heads. "And between my many gigs, I sometimes choose to help Angel." Oz kinda doubted that Cordelia had found that much work in the acting department but he let it pass.

"Yeah, he's the detective", Doyle added.

"Does he have a hat and gun", Oz deadpanned.

"Just fangs", Cordelia replied, going on about her work.

"Well, that works. Where is he?" Oz asked and while he was asking that question about Angel his mind was wondering where Xander had gone off to as he had not made an appearance. Just as Oz was beginning to think that Xander had chickened out of whatever he had come here to do in the first place, he appeared in the doorway.

"Uh, hey guys, how have you been? Bet you're surprised and possibly very saddened to see me here but I thought I would come down and keep Oz company, see what was going on with you all and to witness for myself that Cordelia Chase was actually working for Angel, not that there's anything wrong with that oh, and by the way might I just say that Cordy you are looking gorgeous as usual, L.A. must really agree with you because you look more beautiful than the last time I saw you, of course we had just gotten through fighting a big gigantic snake and who could come out of that not looking a little worse for wear, not that I thought you looked worse or anything and by the way did I tell you how beautiful you looked?" Xander babbled. Oh, yeah, he was totally in control. Remember all the confidence we had built up back in Oxnard? Not.

"Xander? Xander Harris, is that you? Well, it has to be you because who else can babble like that except for possibly Willow and she's a girl and you are definitely a guy so no it has to be you." Cordelia was in possible babble mode herself at the sight of her ex-boyfriend. She didn't know what Xander had been doing lately, but whatever it was it definitely agreed with him. He was even dressing better, she realized as she took in the dark blue satin shirt and tight black jeans that he was wearing. She crossed the floor to give him a hug and then paused as she looked at him suspiciously. "You're not a vampire are you?"

Xander laughed. "No Cordy, still got a heartbeat."

"And he's got a tan, so that would put some holes in your vampire theory as well," Doyle added as he watched the two give each other a warm hug. From what Doyle had heard about Cordy's ex he would never have thought the boy looked like this. He had pictured a goofy kid with terrible dress sense - all he had ever heard about was bright colors and Hawaiian prints the boy had preferred to wear and he had to ask, "Where's all that colorful wardrobe of yours, I've heard so much about?"

"Wow, you mean my fashion sense is known even here in L.A. I'm impressed. No, I left my comfortable clothes at home because I didn't want to embarrass Oz in front of the band and all." Xander thought for a minute and grinned, "Hey, maybe I should start my own line of fashion wear if I'm renowned."

"What would you name it - Dress wear for Dummies or hey how about Gucci for Geeks?" Cordelia teased, falling back on old times of trading barbs with her ex. That had always been a trademark of their relationship...through good times and bad and Cordy had missed Xander a lot.

"Ha, ha very funny Cordy. Hey, you left out Versace for Vampires and being as you work for one that was a pretty big oops on your part." Xander was enjoying himself as well. He glanced at the man he had been talking to earlier and realized that they hadn't been introduced yet. "By the way, I'm Xander Harris." He held out his hand to Doyle.

Doyle took the boy's hand and shook it, noticing the twinkle in Xander's dark brown eyes and the gentle yet firm grip he had. "Hi, name's Doyle."

"That's it? Just Doyle, like as in Superman or Batman or possibly Prince?"

Doyle grinned at the teasing. "Actually, it's Francis Allen Doyle but if you had a name like that wouldn't you go with just Doyle too? And what kind of name is Xander?"

Xander returned the smile. "Well, it's better than my real name. My parents must have been as bad with names as yours. My full name is Alexander LaVelle Harris. After a mouthful like that, Xander doesn't seem that bad you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Doyle replied.

"Well, if we've had enough with the name game can we see Angel now? We have something to give him." Oz interrupted.

"Sure, let's go downstairs where dark and broody hangs out most of the time," Cordelia said, leading them to the elevator.

"Just as I suspected. Angel has a Batman complex, complete with Batcave." Xander stepped inside the elevator. "I like the batpoles better, although climbing up them might get tiring after awhile." Doyle laughed at Xander as the elevator started its descent. He was going to like this kid.

Everyone was quiet as the elevator made the descent down to Angel's apartment. Oz and Cordelia were both wondering what Xander and Oz were doing here...they seemed as if they were on a mission. Doyle was also trying to get a handle on this new version of Xander. Even though he had never met the young man until today, he had felt as if he already knew him. In fact, he would bet that if he ever found himself in Sunnydale, he would be able to spot the whole gang after listening to Cordelia's many stories of life on the Hellmouth. However, the man he saw in front of him was definitely not the Xander of Cordelia's stories. Not only was Xander a better dresser but he held himself with an air of confidence, despite the babble.

The elevator came to a halt, jolting everyone out of their thoughts. Doyle opened the door and walked into Angel's apartment just as the vampire came walking into the living room, a book in his hand. He glanced up at the group of people and with a "Hey guys" he headed into the kitchen. Suddenly, he turned around realizing that it wasn't just Cordelia and Doyle. Oz was with them too. He didn't notice Xander who was standing quietly in the back.

"Oz." Angel said in greeting.

"Angel," Oz responded.

"Nice surprise."

"Thanks."

"Staying long?"

"Few days."

"They always like this?" Doyle asked Cordelia.

"No, we're usually laconic," Oz answered him with a smile.

"Well, it's certainly different than the babble twins from upstairs," Doyle joked.

"Babble twins?" Angel questioned. The only people that Angel knew who babbled were Xander and Willow. "Are Xander and Willow upstairs?"

"No, Willow is still in Sunnydale doing the college thing with Buffy. It's just me - and possibly Cordelia that Doyle here was talking about." Xander replied, stepping out from behind Doyle and Cordelia so that he came face to face with Angel. So Angel hadn't noticed him either. Well that was nothing new, Xander had been used to that feeling since Buffy and Willow had gone off to college, but you would think with all those vampy senses he would have noticed. Xander looked at Angel, not knowing what to expect. Would he be thrown out immediately or in less than 5 minutes? Step right up and place your bets people.

Angel faced Xander, surprised to see the boy here. Of all the people in Sunnydale that would stop by for a visit, the last person he expected was Xander. He hated Angel. What was he doing here? Angel could tell that Xander was nervous but he could smell no fear coming from the boy. Angel grinned. He didn't expect any. Even though both of them knew that Xander was afraid of Angel in some ways, he never let the vampire know it - it was as if he didn't want to give Angel the pleasure of knowing that he was besting him. It was like a "good old pissing contest" as Spike used to say. No matter what Angel thought about the boy he was always good entertainment.

"Come on in," Angel set his book on the table and took a seat on his desk. "So, it's good to see you."

Xander stared at the floor as Oz replied, "Likewise. I came primarily for a gig and Xander is tagging along for the company, but we also want to give you this." Oz held out his hand and showed Angel the ring - the Gem of Amarra - that Buffy had taken from Spike a few days before.

"Wait a minute, is that what I think it is?" Doyle was looking at the ring with utter fascination and just a touch of excitement.

"It's the Gem of Amara". Angel didn't appear to be as happy as either Oz or Xander had thought he would be. He made no move to take the ring from Oz's hand.

"One and the same," Oz nudged his hand at Angel until the vampire finally took the ring from him. "Buffy wanted you to have it."

"Hey, Buffy, how is good old Buffy anyway?" Cordelia asked like she really cared.

"She's-"

"What - still the brave little slayer or is she moping around in the dark for -" Cordelia interrupted, halting when she saw the look Angel was giving her.

"She's good - she's Buffy." Oz stated.

"And I'm sure we'll be interested in all that later but for now can we concentrate on the mother lode that Angel just hit?" Doyle was bursting with excitement. He walked up next to Angel and looked at him. "What are you waiting for man - put it on."

Cordelia looked at first Angel and then Doyle trying to figure out what was so important about this ring. "O.K. You're getting weird with this ring. Since when did you get all Versace about accessorizing?"

Doyle looked at her with a touch of annoyance on his face. "Since this accessory is priceless and will render the wearer 100% unkillable if he's a vampire."

"Unkillable? Like not even stakes?"

"Not nothing, not stakes, not fire - I mean best of all not even sunlight. I mean just think of it man-pool side tanning, bargain matinees plus there's several strip clubs I know of that have a free luncheon buffet that's really quite tasty-"

"I've heard," Angel interrupted Doyle's rant. He looked at Oz and Xander. "And it's from Buffy?"

"Why do you look so surprised at that, Deadboy?" Xander had to ask the question. He didn't want to argue with Angel, but hell the vampire acted like it was a shock that Buffy would do something like this for him. Had he forgotten how hard it was for Buffy to send him to hell even after he had tried to destroy her, her friends, even her mother - and had killed Ms. Callender? Which was leading Xander to remember that maybe he shouldn't antagonize the vampire before his confession. He looked at Angel a little sheepishly before he continued, "We all know what lengths Buffy would go to for you, don't we?"

Oz felt the tension in the room starting to mount and decided to cut it off before it got out of hand. "Yeah, your old buddy Spike dug up Sunnydale looking for it, but got a fistful of Buffy and left it behind. She wanted to make sure it was in good hands."

Angel looked up disbelievingly at Xander. "So she sent you? And you approve of me having this?"

"No, she didn't even want me to come at all. I can't figure out why not, but hey who knows what goes on in Buffy's mind huh? As for the approval part, Willow told me not to make a fuss. She said it with her resolve face on and everything so who was I to argue with her? Besides, if any vampire should have it...I guess it should be you since you play for the good team...unless you get sidelined due to 'true happiness'." Xander replied.

"Buffy sends Angel something like this and she didn't even send a note with it? Wow, that's really" Cordelia was again stopped by the hurt look in Angel's eyes. "This is one of those times when I should just shy away from the topic isn't it?" She asked no one in particular.

"Yeah, it probably is Cordy, but since when did that stop you or I for that matter?" Xander grinned at her and she smiled back.

Doyle was watching the expressions on the people in the room and noticed that Oz was the only one that seemed to be unaffected by the ring and it's meaning. Cordelia seemed happy about the ring, but Doyle knew she pretty much hated Buffy and was probably very resentful of the girl for giving her employer this gift. Xander was a mystery to Doyle. On the one hand, he seemed to want to talk to Angel but on the other hand he acted like he couldn't stand to be in the same room with him. And Angel was acting as if the ring carried some kind of deadly disease. Hell, this thing could stop him from ever dying, would help Angel to be able to walk in the sunlight - where was the bad in all this?

Doyle turned to Angel, his excitement returning at the thought of all that Angel could accomplish with this gift. "Come on, I've got something that'll boost yer spirits, why don't you put it on and - " Doyle thought for a minute before continuing, "here I'll stake you, it'll be fun."

Angel looked at Xander as if he thought the boy would take him up on the offer of being able to stake Angel before he replied, "Maybe later."

"What are you out of your mind?"

"I said maybe later, Doyle." Angel said, a little gruffly.

Doyle gave a sigh and started for the elevator. "O.K. You have it your way alright, I'm still going to celebrate with a drink down at the pub." He stopped in front of Xander. "Come on, Xander I want to hear some more stories of the old days on the Hellmouth and somehow I don't think I'll be able to get much out of Oz." He really hoped that Xander would come with him, he wanted a chance to get to know the kid a little better and find out more about Cordelia in the process.

Before Xander could respond, Cordelia piped up, "He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down at the pub. Coming Oz?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Oz answered, giving Angel a questioning look. He had thought that this gift would make the vampire smile, not go all broody on him.

"Go ahead," Angel told them.

"I'd really prefer it if you stayed," Xander looked at Cordy and Oz. "There's something I've got to say to Angel and I think everyone here needs to hear it as well. In fact, I need to tell all my friends, but I needed to tell Angel first because it concerns him and since you're here, well please stay."

Cordelia and Oz looked at each other and nodded their assent. They wondered what was coming and hoped it wasn't a full out fight between the two, considering their past history.

"Xander don't start anything. Angel's done a lot for the people in Los Angeles and I won't let you come here and bother him." Cordelia got up and walked over into Xander's personal space. Even though she was happy to see her ex she wasn't going to let him give Angel trouble.

Xander grinned at her. "You know, I've figured out why you and Buffy don't get along. You're actually a lot alike, attitude wise...even though you're totally different...if that makes sense. I'm not going to hurt the broody vampire o.k.? I pinky swear."

Angel was giving Xander that weird look again. The one that said what the hell are you doing here anyway. "It's alright, Cordy. I think Xander and I can talk to one another without beating each other's brains out."

Cordelia turned and gave Angel the same look she had given Xander. "And the same thing goes for you buster. Play nice. Xander's my friend and I don't want him hurt, do you understand me?" She asked putting her hands on her hip and giving Angel her patented Cordelia Chase stare.

"Understood."

Angel nodded toward the couch and everyone headed over to it and sat down. Everyone that is but Angel, who continued to sit on his desk and Xander who was pacing back and forth before him, a troubled look on his face. Finally tired of waiting for the boy to start and watching him pace back and forth, Angel reached out and grabbed Xander's arm, stopping him.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Xander Harris would actually have trouble finding words. What is it you need to tell us?"

"Listen, Angel, before I tell you what I've come here to say you have to promise me that you won't go all "grrrr" on me until I'm finished o.k.?" Xander asked nervously glancing first at his hands and then at the vampire. He noticed that Angel was looking at him with something akin to concern. That couldn't be though,, Xander thought, Angel hates me.

"O.K., I promise not to go all monster on you if you promise to not babble so that I might actually be able to understand at least every other word. It's been a while since I was in Sunnydale and while Cordelia sometimes tends to babble, she can't hold a candle to you and Willow."

"Hey, I do not babble. I occasionally ramble but--" Cordelia began until she saw everyone looking at her. "Sorry, Xander go ahead with whatever you were going to say."

"Thanks, Cordy. Now that I have the floor again, I don't know where to begin. I've been practicing this little speech all the way here but I still don't know what I want to say or how to put it, just that it needs to be said." Xander sighed and looked resolutely at Angel. "Here goes nothing. I went on a trip this past summer after the Graduation of Gloom. I knew that I wasn't smart enough to get into college like Buffy, Willow and Oz and I just wanted to try to get away from everything and think about my life - you know a self discovery type of thing. I wanted to get a perspective on my life, try to find the real me."

"Did it work? The finding the real you?" Doyle asked.

"Actually, it didn't turn out to be the trip I had planned," Xander smiled at the man. "But what could I expect out of a Harris road trip? The engine fell out of my car, literally and I ended up in Oxnard. I had to find a job so I ended up working at the first place I could, which was a strip club."

"You stripped?" Cordelia asked in surprise. "In front of girls?"

"That's usually how it's done, Cordy," Xander laughed. "And yeah, I did. In front of men and women to be exact. Some nights it was ladies night and sometimes it was men's, but I really didn't care. I didn't start out to be a stripper. I was actually hired as a bartender but one night one of the guys didn't come in. I was the only one left so Charlie made me do it. He was as shocked as I was when everyone seemed to like what they saw so he promoted me so to speak."

When everyone looked at him in shock, he got a little defensive. "What? You think I'm not capable of entertaining people? Hell, I've been the comedy relief for the scoobies for a long time. I know I may not be the best dancer in the world, but I've always loved to dance. Loved music. So after that first 'kill me now moment' I just closed my eyes, felt the music and went with it. I closed everyone else out and danced for myself. It seemed to work." He shrugged his shoulders as if not believing it himself.

Angel took a long, hard look at the boy in front of him. Xander had filled out and was no longer the gangly boy he had first met. Xander cut quite an impressive figure in the clothes he was now wearing and Angel could see what the men and women in that club must have seen.

"Anyway, getting on with the story. While I was there I found out a lot about myself. That I could do things that I never would have thought of doing before, making friends with people and even demons that respected me for who I was. It felt nice. And yes, before anyone says anything, I did say demons. I didn't know the club catered to both humans and demons when I took the job...didn't realize it until I met the guy with tentacles, then it was pretty obvious even to me. Before I knew what was happening I was actually making friends with some of them - me, 'I hate anything non-human', Xander Harris. Oh sure, there were some that I had to kill, but for the most part, they were just trying to exist, be a part of the world, live in peace and perfect harmony and did I just channel Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney?" Xander asked, as everyone laughed.

"So you're here to what? Tell me that you don't hate me anymore because you had an epiphany of sorts and can now tolerate me even though I'm a souled vampire?" Angel asked, thinking he had figured out what was on Xander's mind.

"Well, yeah. Sort of. I mean, you're still a vampire, soul or not. I think that you're capable of hurting someone, even souled, if you got mad enough. I know people who have souls who do bad things so what's the diff? Sure, Angel is way better than Angelus, but he's still in you no matter what."

"Look, I hated you, Angel. You know it and I know it. The only thing is that everyone thought it was because I was jealous of you and that was part of it, definitely. I mean, you're way cooler than I am, you have the super strength, handsome, smart thing and I'm just plain old Xander. I knew I didn't stand a chance with Buffy when you were around, hell if I had to admit it to myself, I didn't stand a chance in the first place. Most girls in high school thought I was just a big, goofy kid with a hopeless sense of dress style and Buffy was no different, except she became my friend. But I wanted her to love me and I blamed you when she didn't. For that I'm sorry."

"Xander--" Angel began, but Xander held up his hand, cutting the vampire's words off.

"Let me finish. There was another reason I hated you. My best friend, Jesse was turned by Darla before Buffy and I could save him. It happened right before the Master tried to rise the first time. At the time, Giles told me if I saw him I wouldn't be looking at my friend but at the thing that had killed him. But that wasn't true, not entirely anyway. I mean Jesse had always been crazy about Cordelia and she was the first person he went after. When I found him trying to turn Cordy I stopped him and we talked. Jesse kept going on and on about what a pathetic loser he had been as a human. I looked into his eyes and I know there was a part of Jesse still inside his body. I killed him but it was by accident. Someone ran into him and he fell on my stake and the next thing I know, one of my best friends was dust...right in front of my eyes."

There was silence for a few minutes as Xander stopped to regain his emotions. He was not going to cry in front of anyone. His dad had always told him that men didn't cry. Cordy's eyes were filled with tears as she thought of Jesse, hanging around her like a little puppy dog. She wished she had been a little nicer to the boy. Doyle and Oz were saddened too, watching the emotions playing over Xander's and Cordy's faces as they thought about Jesse. While they hadn't known the kid, they could understand how hard that would be on Xander.

Angel looked at the boy, a touch of sadness in his eyes. He had never heard this story. Buffy had never told him and he was never close enough to Xander for him to confide in Angel. He knew that Xander was on the brink of tears and searched to find something comforting to say to the boy, knowing there was nothing he could say. He knew how he had felt when he had had to stake Darla to save Buffy. Hell, he was awful at this people stuff.

"After Jesse died, no one wanted to talk about him, not even Willow. So I just walked around feeling like I had killed a part of me, while all the time keeping a happy face on for everyone else. No one seemed to care that he was dead, after all he was just a fucking vampire," he said bitterly. "But then you came along and everyone accepted you into the gang even after they found out what you were because Buffy had feelings for you. No one wanted to hurt Buffy by not accepting you, but they didn't seem to give a damn about how I felt after killing one of my best friends. That pissed me off and I guess I transferred my guilt at killing Jesse on you. I'm sorry about that, too...cause hey, you had nothing to do with that."

"Later, you and Buffy got groiny and out came Angelus. You tried to kill all of us at one time or another, you messed with Buffy's entire life yet she couldn't kill you. I watched as time after time Buffy had the chance to kill you but she didn't. The night you killed Ms. Calender I snapped. I would have killed you myself if I could have. See, I love Giles like a father. Hell, he's been more of a father to me than my own. I remember Buffy, Willow, Cordy and I going to his apartment where we found that little romantic set up you had fixed for Giles to find - the wine, candlelight and soft music and I hated you more than I ever had before. All I could think of was how Giles must have felt finding the woman he loved dead on his bed with her neck snapped. I knew how I would have felt it that had been Cordy...I would have done the same thing Giles did. But still Buffy didn't kill you."

"The worst part came when Willow and Buffy found the soul restoration spell. Everyone was so happy about finding it, cause Buffy could get you back. It was like they forgot about Ms. Calendar, even Giles. Buffy knew that you had killed Ms. Calendar because she was trying to restore your soul and yet she was willing to let Willow risk her life trying to do it. Not only did we not know whether Willow could handle channeling the magic, but we didn't know if you would come after her too. But Buffy let her do it and it almost got Willow killed, not to mention Cordy and myself. Kendra did die. Giles got kidnapped and tortured and still I didn't think Buffy would kill you...not even to save the world."

"But she did. She sent me to hell." Angel said flatly, remembering all the destruction he had caused in Sunnydale. He looked at Xander and the boy saw the sadness in the vampire's eyes.

"Yeah, why are we tripping down a memory lane that should be closed for good?" Cordelia asked.

"Because that's the reason I'm here. I have a confession to make and I just wanted Angel to understand why I did what I thought I had to do. I was the one that sent you to hell, Angel. Not personally but through Buffy. I was supposed to find Buffy and tell her that Willow was going to try the soul restoration spell again at the hospital but I lied. I told her that Willow said to kick your ass. Which Buffy finally did."

"And did that make you happy? You finally got your revenge on me?" Angel asked, rising from the desk and staring angrily at Xander.

"It wasn't revenge, Angel. It was what was necessary. How many times did Buffy try to keep you at bay so that we could find a way to get you back? She never fought you with all her strength...especially not when she thought there was some chance she would be able to get her Angel back. I was sick of it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had been sitting at my best friend's bedside, afraid that she was never going to wake up again, that I would lose her too. We didn't know what had happened to Giles, whether he was dead or alive. I went to meet Buffy and I saw the look in her eyes. She was ready to kill you to save the world. You had finally gone too far by trying to raise that Acathla thing."

"You saw it as what? An opportunity to finally get rid of me?"

"I didn't go there intending to lie to Buffy. I was going to tell her what Willow had said. I promised Willow I would and I've never broken a promise to Will not ever. But when I mentioned to Buffy that Willow had told me to tell her something, I saw the look that came over her face. It was that look that meant she was hoping that she could get you back. That look that said she wouldn't fight at her best. I couldn't let her go in there to fight you like that. All I could think was that she would end up getting herself killed. I had almost lost Willow, I didn't know if we had lost Giles and I wasn't about to lose Buffy. It came down to a choice between you and Buffy and she won hands down. So I decided to lie. I'm not sorry about my decision...I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I only wanted to tell you the truth about that night and that's what I came here to do. To be a man and own up to what I did."

Angel walked over to Xander until they were face to face. Xander felt the anger radiating off the vampire, saw it in his eyes but he didn't back down, didn't even flinch. The others had risen from their seats on the couch, ready to try to stop any violence that might occur.

"So you think you're a man now, huh? Do you really think that if Angelus were to re-emerge, you could take me boy?" Angel sneered.

"If Angelus came back I guarantee that you would either be dust or I would be dead, it makes no difference to me," Xander said, shrugging his shoulders. "In case you've forgotten, Angel I have faced Angelus at least three times and I'm still alive and kicking. I know it was probably luck but I'll go for round four if you'd like. Don't know who'll get lucky this time, but I'm willing to find out - the question is are you game?" Xander stated defiantly.

Angel continued to stare at the young man in front of him. He knew that he was acting a lot like Angelus at the moment, although he couldn't help himself. He never liked to think about that period of time when he had reverted back to his demon side and he most definitely didn't like to think about his time spent in hell. Those last words of Xander's brought back a flood of memories to Angel's mind.

*Flash*

Xander staring him down at the hospital when he went to see Buffy. Angelus taunting Xander about how he could get into Buffy's room even though Xander was there protecting her.

"If I wanted to see Buffy do you think for one micro-second that you could stop me?”

"Maybe not. Maybe those orderlies couldn't either or those cops or the doctors but I'm willing to find out. You game?

Angel remembered the smell of fear that came from the boy that night but also the combination of determination and rage, the same thing he was scenting now.

*Flash*

"Buffy's white knight. It must just eat you up that I got there first."

"You're going to die, and I'm going to be there."

Angel was drawn out of his memories by the sound of Xander's voice and the feel of a stake near his chest. "You didn't answer me Deadboy? I may not be a slayer or a superhero but I swear to you if you were to turn back into Angelus right this minute, I would try my best to stake you before you hurt any of them," he said pointing at Cordy, Oz and Doyle.

"Guys, come on let's stop this before someone gets seriously dead," Oz told them.

To everyone's surprise a smile appeared on Angel's face. "You can put the stake back into your pocket, Xander. I'm not going to hurt anyone. Not that I didn't seriously think about it when you first told me what you had done. But for now, I just wanted to know that if I did turn back into Angelus, someone would have the guts to do what they had to do, just like you did back then."

Xander stared at the vampire in disbelief. "How do I know you're not just saying that so I'll put my stake down? Cause you know, if someone had just told me they had sent me to hell, I believe I would try to kill them, even if they did have a valid point."

"You don't know. You'll just have to trust me. After all, this is the new Xander Harris right? The one that's going to give Angel a chance? Forget about the past and move on. Clean slate and all that. So what's it going to be, Xander? You going to trust me or not?"

Xander looked at Angel for a long time before he finally removed the stake from Angel's chest and placed it in his back pocket. "What the hell, I always was a glutton for punishment."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Angel patted Xander on the shoulder. "I'm not happy that I went to hell, but I am glad that you felt you could tell me the truth. What caused you to decide to do it now though?"

Xander didn't know what to say. He couldn't believe that not only had Angel not punched him out but that Angel had even smiled at him and practically congratulated him for lying to Buffy. He looked at Angel, shame in his eyes. "I shouldn't have taken the coward's way out when you came back. I should have told you and Buffy then. I'm telling you now though because I can't become that new Xander Harris with a lie hanging between me and my friends. I thought you should know first, but when I get back to Sunnydale, I'm telling Buffy. Think she'll take it as well as you did?" he asked the vampire hopefully.

"Knowing Buffy, probably not." Angel couldn't help but feel sorry for the boy.

"Probably not? That's an understatement. She'll kick your ass." Cordy said.

"I love Angel, he's my friend. I help him and I love my job. But to be honest, I'm glad you lied. You're right about Buffy. She wouldn't have stopped him if she thought Willow was doing the spell. Besides it all worked out in the end didn't it?" Cordy said being her usual blunt self. "Was that comforting enough for you?" They smiled at each other.

"Yeah, thanks. See? I always knew you had it in you." Xander stared at Oz, waiting for his friend's response.

"I know Willow is going to be upset with you for breaking your promise. I don't like that you let her down and that you lied to all of us, but I can forgive the lie. The other stuff is between you and Willow." Oz told him.

"Well, now that we've got that worked out, can we get that drink?" Doyle asked them hopefully.

"Do we have time before we leave?" Xander asked Oz.

"Sure, why not."

"Thank God. I need something in the worst way. This life change stuff is hard work, let me tell you." Xander admitted.

"Preaching to the choir," Angel deadpanned. Xander smiled at the vampire as he walked beside him.

Did you just make a joke?"

"Hey, if you can do it, so can I. Don't sound so shocked that I..." Angel was startled when he ran headlong into Spike. Pushing Xander out of harm's way, he faced his childe.

"Spike, I can only guess what you're doing here." Angel was glad he had put the ring in his desk and could only hope that Spike hadn't seen him do it.

Everyone had been so wrapped up in the discussion between Angel and Xander that they had not noticed Spike hovering in the corner of the room watching the boy and his sire go head to head. Spike had been watching Angel's place and when he saw Xander and Oz arrive, he knew what they were doing there.

Spike smiled at Xander. He was impressed with the young boy that had stood up to his sire with a vengeance. Not too many people in his lifetime, or unlife, had done that and lived to tell the tale. But Xander had. He had even taken a chance of losing his friends by telling them that he had lied. Xander had more courage than he had ever given him credit for. Spike vaguely remembered Angelus talking about the slayer's white knight. He had to admit that he liked when the boy had challenged his sire, his brown eyes snapping with determination and a hint of anger. He would definitely make a beautiful vampire. Spike turned his attention back to his sire.

"Angel, I believe you have something I'm looking for, a shiny little bauble."

"You might as well go home Spike. The gem of Amara stays with me." Angel glared at Spike. He hadn't liked the way Spike was eyeing Xander.

"Why, because you're Angel, vamp detective now? I'm so scared", Spike taunted his sire. "What's next, vampire cowboy, vampire fireman or vampire ballerina?"

"I put in a vote for ballerina, myself cause Angel running around in a tutu would be hilarious." Xander spoke up before he thought. "Sorry, Angel...old habits die hard."

"That's okay. Besides, I do like to work with my legs," Angel replied with a smile. Before the humans could react Angel grabbed the light hanging from the ceiling and proceeded to kick Spike, knocking him on his ass.

Spike jumped up with a growl. They started moving around each other, like boxers during a match as they continued to fight over the ring. Angel kicked Spike into the wall. "So, you and I duke it out huh? This your big strategy for getting the ring back?" Angel laughingly asked.

"I had a plan," Spike retorted while lunging at Angel intending to punch him in the face. Angel ducked and Spike ended up on his stomach across Angel's kitchen counter with his arm firmly held behind him.

"You? A plan?" Angel laughed at Spike.

"A good plan, smart, carefully laid out, but I got bored." With that Spike landed an elbow to his sire's stomach sending Angel sprawling. He took advantage of the situation and pushed Angel up against the wall. "All that watching, waiting, my legs started to cramp." And then Angel was flying through the air to land against the opposite wall, sending the humans scattering in different directions. "I hate this crap, just tell me where the damn ring is." He really didn't want to fight his sire. As much as they disagreed, Spike still cared about Angel. But not enough to give up the ring.

Angel turned in a flurry of grace and speed. "It wouldn't go with your outfit." Angel managed to land two or three good punches into the younger vampire's stomach and threw him over the desk.

"Cordelia, you look smashing," Spike sneered, catching sight of the girl as he rose from the desk. He was trying to get the upper hand on Angel by misdirecting his attention. "Did you lose weight?"

"Yes. You know there's this great gym on -" She stopped as she realized what Spike had said. "Hey-"

"I'll get that ring. This isn't over until one of us is a pile of dust." Spike threatened. But somehow, his threat rang false. He knew he couldn't stake his sire and felt that Angel wouldn't stake him either, no matter how much they fought. Hell, they had been fucking and fighting for centuries and yet they were both still here. Spike guessed that's two things he had in common with the slayer and didn't that just make him sick. It wasn't meant for vampires to fall in love with slayers, they were supposed to kill each other.

"By the way," Spike said, turning to Xander. "Xander, isn't it? I applaud what you did. Hell, I aligned myself with the slayer to stop the poof."

"You were listening?" Angel snapped.

"Couldn't help myself. I love confessions and gossip." He looked Xander up and down, sending a chill racing up and down the boy's body before he faced his sire. "He has potential. I can see it and I know you damn well can. Standing there facing you down, his eyes all dark and full of pain and determination. Oh, yes, he would make one lovely vampire. "Maybe it's time for me to take you up on your offer - you know the one you made in the school hallway about 2 years ago. I think I've waited long enough to accept my pressie."

"Hey, pressie standing right here," Xander snapped. He looked at Spike. "As I recall, you didn't feel that way back home. I think there's a time limit on offers of pressies as you call them and besides if I'm remembering correctly last time I saw you was right before I got my ribs bashed in and introduced to a wall."

"I was in the middle of a fight with the slayer. But once I get you away from her and Angel, then we can have some fun. And a sire's gift to his childe can never be taken back. Besides, I've been lonely for too long."

Angel put a protective arm in front of Xander and growled at Spike. "You go near the boy or anyone else in Sunnydale and I will kill you."

"Won't be doing much killing when you're dead yourself Angel or should I say more dead than usual." And with that Spike stalked out of the office.

Angel turned to the others. "Better get out of sight until this thing is over. Spike's out for blood." He looked at Doyle. "Take Cordy to your place. And you better take Xander and Oz with you too."

"No, we'll be fine. We're headed to my gig and Spike doesn't know where it is. Besides he's focused on getting that ring from you," Oz assured the vampire.

"He seems to be focused on Xander too," Angel muttered. He didn't know why but he was feeling protective of this new Xander. He knew what Spike was talking about. He had definitely noticed how the boy looked; it had not escaped his attention.

"Thanks for caring, but I'll be fine, Angel. Oz is right, he cares more about that ring. He won't be worried about me, at least for a while and by then Oz and I will be back in Sunnydale with Buffy." Xander assured him. "We'll just go to the club."

"Call me when you get back to Sunnydale so I know that you are safe and tell Buffy what Spike said so she can watch out for you." Angel told him.

"Yes, sir. I promise." Xander quipped. "Thanks again for being so understanding about everything." He reached out to shake Angel's hand. Angel smiled and took his hand, warmly shaking it before the boys said good-bye to the others and left. He turned back to Cordy and Doyle.

"You two need to get over to Doyle's place like I told you."

"His place? Why can't I just go home?" Cordelia asked, as she realized what Angel had said.

"Because he knows you Cordelia," Angel answered. "If he wants, he'll track you down."

"Well, he's not invited right, he can't come in."

"No, but he could burn the place to the ground, " Doyle supplied the answer that finally made Cordelia understand the necessity of hiding at his place.

"Okay. Doyle's place it is."

"What about you man", Doyle asked Angel. "He'll be gunning for you."

"I know."

"So what are you going to do?" Cordelia looked at Angel questioningly.

"Find him first." Angel watched them leave, wiping the blood from his mouth. He went to hide the ring, glad that Spike hadn't been able to get past him and retrieve it from the desk drawer where Angel had put it. After finally deciding on a hiding place in the sewers behind a loose rock he put the ring there before leaving the apartment. He had to meet his client, Rachel, who had called earlier about her abusive boyfriend getting out of jail. Angel hoped Xander would be alright. He knew how his childe could be when he gave his attentions to someone.

Cordelia and Doyle had been startled to find that Xander and Oz were waiting for them outside of Angel's office. They had figured the two had already left for the club.

"Xander, Oz what are you two doing still here? We thought you were going to your gig." Cordelia asked.

"I am, but Xander insisted on staying put until you guys came out," Oz informed her.

When Cordelia turned to Xander, she saw he had his own version of 'Willow resolve face'on. Uh, oh, this was so not going to be good. Xander started to explain.

"Look, we all know that Spike is determined to get that ring from Angel. We also know that Angel will confront him sooner or later, my vote leaning heavily toward the sooner part. I'm going to go to the club and help Oz unload his gear and then I'm coming back here. Hopefully I'll make it back in time to follow Angel. I want to help him, you know in case Spike has a trick up his sleeve."

"Xander, you heard what Angel said. He wants us all to lay low." Doyle told the boy.

"I've never listened to Angel and his orders and I'm not going to start now. I feel like I owe it to him. He was so nice to me after I told him about my secret, and I just want to repay him for his, uh, kindness and does that sound weird when I'm talking about Angel," Xander said shaking his head. "In case I don't make it back in time to follow him, give me your address Doyle so I can wait with you guys."

"Angel's not going to like this man," Doyle said as he wrote down his address for the boy.

"You're probably right, but there's few things in this life that I've done that he has liked." Xander took the address and headed to Oz's van. Cordelia and Doyle watched them leave before they headed for Doyle's apartment.

"I just hope the kid knows what he's getting into," Doyle told Cordy.

"He rarely does," Cordy admitted ruefully. "I just hope he doesn't get himself hurt."

Xander had been fighting his nerves all the way to the club. When they arrived, he helped Oz get his gear out in record time, before telling the other boy that he would be back to pick him up later and heading back to Angel's. He hoped he made it in time to follow the vampire. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Angel's car still parked in its spot, where it had been when they left. He parked a little ways away and waited for Angel to exit the building.

As soon as he saw Angel get into his car, he followed him. It wasn't easy. L.A. was a big town and there was a lot of heavy traffic; however his determination kept him going. He followed Angel to an apartment complex and saw him emerge with a blonde girl. Typical. He followed them to a shelter and waited several minutes before the vampire reappeared, making his way towards the seedier side of town. Yep, he was definitely in find Spike mode now, Xander thought.

Angel had made several stops and Xander was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to find Spike, when he finally saw Spike running from an alley with Angel chasing after him. Finally, Xander thought jumping out of the van to follow. Let the games begin.

As he neared the alley Spike and Angel had ducked into, Xander heard them talking. He shook his head. Typical vampires. Geez, couldn't they meet somewhere besides these stupid alleys? Why not a burger joint or something fun like that. Vampires had no sense of humor. Turning into the alley he saw Angel and Spike arguing. Cautiously, he looked around the corner. Xander knew he couldn't go bursting into the alleyway. There was no telling how many vamps might be in there, and even if it was just Spike Xander knew he couldn't take him. No, no rib bashing for Xander Harris tonight. Xander listened to the conversation, hoping that Spike would reveal his plans.

"Caught me fair and square white hat," Spike said mockingly. "Guess there's nothing to do now but go along quietly and pay my debt to society." He had his hands raised up in a 'I give up gesture' but Xander wasn't fooled and hoped and prayed that Angel didn't have so many things on his mind that he overlooked how devious his childe could be.

"You think you can come into my town and pull this crap. You never learn Spike." Oh, yeah...Spike knew how to handle his sire. Angel definitely wasn't tuning into the right station. Nothing was this easy with Spike, not ever. Xander knew it had to be a trap and looked around to see if there was anyone else nearby. He saw a vampire come out of the shadows with a chain. Yep, never easy.

Spike was still leaning casually up against the gate facing Angel. "I may be a slow learner but--eventually, I catch on." Spike was smirking with satisfaction at the sight in front of him. The vampire had snuck up on Angel and before he had a chance to react had wrapped the chain around Angel's neck dragging him to the ground.

Xander watched helplessly as Angel was pulled from the alley and into Spike's Desoto. He ran back to Oz's van and followed them to, surprise, an abandoned warehouse. Spike was really becoming predictable. He made a note of the address and headed to Doyle's, finding his apartment in record time.

He knocked on the door yelling at them to open up. It was a few seconds before Doyle got the door open. Xander stepped inside the apartment, a plan already in his head. He just hoped it would work.

"I followed Angel and he met up with Spike in some dark alley. He was grabbed by this other vampire and they hauled him away. I followed them to some abandoned warehouse. I have the address. I also have a plan."

"Why am I not comforted by that thought?" Cordelia asked, almost to herself.

Xander ignored her. "I figure that Spike probably thinks Oz and I headed back to Sunnydale, so I'm figuring we can be the surprise in the bottom of the cracker jack box. I'm sure that he'll try to get Angel to tell him where that ring is and I'm also just as sure that Angel will be stubborn and refuse. Spike will probably come to you and make an offer of returning Angel for the ring. When you two make the exchange, I'll bust in and we'll catch him off guard. Hopefully, that will give us time to get Angel out of there."

"Good plan, except for one thing. Spike doesn't know where we are remember?" Doyle asked him.

"Then you'll just have to make yourselves open targets by going back to the one place that Spike knows about - the office. Are you guys up to that?"

"Whatever it takes to get Angel back safely," Cordy said determinedly. "After all, I'm used to being demon bait in case you've forgotten."

"How could I ever forget? We need some weapons too. Where do you keep them?"

"At the office," Doyle said, as they headed out of the apartment. "By the way, I want to know the story behind that demon bait remark."

"Well, it all started the summer Buffy ran away after sending Angel to hell---" Cordy began explaining.

"Why does everything keep coming back to that one certain point," Doyle asked them as they got in the van and headed to the office.

Xander parked the van a block away and behind Angel's office. He didn't want Spike to spot it, just in case he was right in his assumption that this would be the first place the younger vampire would come looking for Cordy and Doyle and possibly the ring.

As they entered the office, they heard someone throwing stuff around in Angel's apartment below. Xander gave Cordy and Doyle a huge smile. Score one for the Xanman. He had been right after all. Xander mouthed at Cordy and Doyle that he would hide while they took on Spike. They understood what he was doing and crept downstairs to meet Spike, grabbing some weapons along the way. Xander listened at the bottom of the stairs. Hopefully Spike would be too busy playing 'taunt the humans' that he wouldn't notice Xander's extra heartbeat. From his viewpoint, he could see and hear everything that was said between the three of them so he could rush in to help if Cordy and Doyle needed him.

Cordelia had a cross-bow in her arms and a fire in her eyes that Xander had truly missed seeing. She was facing off with Spike when he rounded the corner. Xander couldn't help but smile when he heard Cordelia's voice.

"When you're through giving the place the full Johnny Depp-over, I hope you have the cash to pay for all of this." Always about money with Queen C.

"Cordelia, love the hair," Spike leered at the girl.

"Wish I could say the same to you." Her derogatory remarks were always funny when aimed at someone besides himself. Oh, who are you kidding, Harris. You know you've missed this. Xander had always enjoyed their banter...more than he had ever realized until now. He vowed if they got through this, they would stay in touch.

"That's close enough dim-wit," Doyle growled at Spike when he started to walk towards Cordelia.

"What is it with you good guys running in packs," Spike questioned the two. "Who's this one then?"

"More than meets the eye Blondie," Doyle quipped. Xander knew he liked that guy.

"Oh, the Mick's got spine, maybe I'll snap it in two."

"Do you want me to use this?" Cordelia asked Spike as she raised the cross bow she held in her hands.

Spike stared at Cordelia, not afraid of the girl. "You'll be dead before the arrow leaves the bow." After he knew that he had put some fear into the girl he continued, "Now where was I? Bloody tired of looking for that ring, I think you two should take over now."

"Where's Angel?" Doyle demanded.

Spike acted like he was thinking long and hard about that question. "Um, tall brooding guy, caveman brow?" Xander tried not to laugh at Spike's description of Angel. He thought it was dead on the mark. He could have actually liked this guy, if he wasn't an evil, blood sucking vampire. Did that make sense? "He's having the living hell tortured out of him. And you know how stubborn he can be, he might die before he gives up the ring. Why don't you two find it real fast and give it to me. I’ll let Angel go."

"I don't trust you," Cordelia spat back at Spike.

Spike gave her a big grin. "To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase...duh. But you have until sundown to save him. You'll find me behind Peterson's Fish Market between Seward and Westminster. Don't be late." And with that Spike strutted out of the room leaving Cordelia and Doyle looking at each other with apprehension.

Xander came around the corner. "You two go look for the ring. We'll need it to keep Spike happy for a while." Off their looks he added, "Don't worry we'll make sure he doesn't get the ring, just find it and pretend to go along with his plan."

"And what will you be doing, Xander?" Cordelia asked.

"In the meantime, I'm going to get some backup and head over to where Spike's got Angel. Try to get Spike to take you to him, but if he doesn't, here's the address so you can meet me there. Don't worry guys, I won't let anyone including Spike, kill Angel - well deader than he is. Let's get cracking team. Angel's un-life depends on us."

They all hurried off to do what needed to be done for their plan to work. An hour later Cordelia and Doyle met with Spike. They had found the ring and was hoping and praying that Xander knew what he was doing. He hadn't bothered to fill them in on how he was going to distract Spike, before rushing off to get Oz.

"So where's my ring?" Spike asked as they came into view.

"Not on us," Doyle replied.

"We know where it is," Cordelia added hastily.

"And suddenly I'm so painfully bored," Spike responded with his usual attitude. "Time runs short children. Give me that ring as if Angel's life depends on it."

"Listen you little cockney," Cordelia snapped. She was really getting tired of Spike and his games. "Take us to Angel now."

"Show us he's still in one piece and we'll tell you where you can find your ring," Doyle added.

They looked at each other for a full minute before Spike finally spoke. "He's still alive I think. In one piece was never part of the deal."

They walked a few blocks until they came before an old warehouse. Cordelia was horrified when she saw what had been done to Angel and Doyle was plain furious. They tried to get to him but Spike blocked their way. "A deal's a deal", he growled. "And our deal is for the ring, so you've wasted quite enough of my time. I'd really like it now."

"You want the ring, you dog," Doyle snarked. He pulled the ring out of his pocket holding it in front of Spike who looked at it hungrily. "Go fetch." And before Spike could make a move, Doyle tossed the ring over to the side farther into the warehouse.

"Okay, good you've got the ring we've got Angel," Cordelia said nervously. She was sure that Spike wouldn't keep his end of the bargain and was just praying that they had wasted enough time for Xander to put his plan into action. "Now you're going to leave us alone and we're going to leave."

"Come on you don't really think we're going to do that do you?" Spike asked as he backed up towards the ring that had fallen on the floor. Cordelia and Doyle advanced also. Just as he reached to pick up the ring Oz's van came crashing through the warehouse doors. Spike had to dive to keep from being hit.

Doyle and Cordelia rushed over to Angel and unhooked the chains freeing the vampire. They made a wild dash for the van doors. As they went they saw Xander exiting the van while Oz held two cross bows in his hands, aiming them at Spike who was looking up from the warehouse floor where he had fallen.

"Spike, that was a very bad move on your part, mate." Xander taunted. "Didn't you tell Cordy and Doyle that we good guys run in packs? Then you know that pack doesn't leave when one of their own is in trouble. You let your guard down way too easily. That's what happens when you're so greedy. Or is that needy?" Xander leant down to find the ring but it was gone. "Oops, looks like your associate had other plans for that ring. Don't you know you can never trust a vampire, Spike?" And with that Xander returned to the van, getting in before Oz backed out as fast as he could before the vampire could recover.

After the van had pulled out into the daylight, Spike searched for the ring hoping that Xander had overlooked it but no life wasn't that kind to him. He was furious as he started throwing things around. After Spike gathered his wits about him, he started talking to himself, "I do the work, I do the digging, fight off the slayer, drive to L.A., hire the help and what do I get? Royally screwed, is what." He threw a table across the floor. "Well, that cinches it, no more partners. From now on I'm my own man. Lone wolf. Sole survivor. Yah, look out, here comes Spike, the biggest, baddest mother---" he stopped as he noticed he had walked into a space where sunlight was filtering from a hole in the top of the warehouse and that his hair had caught on fire. He started yelling and putting it out. "I really hope they kill each other," he said disgustedly. "Well, not Xander though. I've got plans for him when he returns to Sunnydale. Oh, yes, I'll be waiting for you, boy."

Oz was driving along the road, speeding away from the warehouse. He turned to Cordelia and Doyle and asked with a semblance of worry, "How's he doing?"

"He'll live." Doyle answered.

"Not without help, we need to get him to a hospital." Cordelia stated not thinking about what she was saying.

Xander rolled his eyes. "I hear you but which one? They all tend to specialize in humans."

"He's right. It's too risky," Doyle agreed. He looked at Xander. "Know any first aid?"

"I should, I tend to have to do it on myself - and often I might add. I'm really good at at...except for the part where I'm a human and he's a vampire. I guess I could improvise."

"Turn around." Angel's voice was determined and grim. Cordelia and Doyle were arguing against him telling Oz to keep on going but then Oz heard Angel's words, "He's got a thing for children." Oz looked at Xander and he nodded his head, just as they heard Angel say, "Oz, turn around he can't have gone far." Before he could get the words out of his mouth, Oz had whipped the van around in the other direction. No one wanted the vampire to be anywhere near innocent children. Now they wanted the bastard vampire as bad as Angel did.

They found the vampire on the pier headed for a group of cub scouts. Oz saw red and ran the vampire down knocking him into a stand that was set up on the pier. Cordelia was out of the van telling the little boys to run and Doyle was helping her, while Oz grabbed the crossbow and launched a missile out of it straight at the grinning vampire. Xander knew that the vampire was immune to the attack and as Marcus was laughing at Oz, Xander ran from the side of him. With a yell and a curse both the young man and the vampire was falling through the rails and into the water below.

Angel searched the van and after finding nothing to help him he jumped out of the van, catching on fire as he headed towards the pier and the water below. He jumped into the water, following the path the boy and the vampire had made only moments ago, hitting the cold water with a splash.

As he came up out of the ocean he saw Marcus and Xander fighting. Xander was full of anger and was pounding the vampire as best he could while trying to take the ring off the vampire's finger but Marcus would have none of it. He had flipped the boy over onto his back and was straddling him, leaning down to lick Xander's neck before planting a kiss on the boy's mouth. Xander was bucking and thrashing trying to get the vampire off of him but all he was doing was making Marcus more hungry for the boy beneath him.

As Angel neared them, he saw Marcus lean over and rip the buttons off Xander's shirt. He heard the vampire tell the boy, "You're a little older than I usually like, but you are so very pretty and full of fire. I'm going to enjoy fucking you and then draining you dry. Or maybe I'll just keep you around for a little while, if you're a good boy." And with that he leaned over, plunging his fangs into the boy.

With a roar Angel flung himself onto the vampire and they both went sprawling across the wet sand. Angel threw Marcus up against one of the slats holding up the pier. Marcus looked back at him with a sneer. "What are you planning on doing, killing me?"

"Well, I did promise while you were torturing me and if that wasn't enough you touched someone you shouldn't have." Angel growled into the other vampire's ear. He didn't know why but for some reason the sight of the vampire on Xander and the words he had heard him say to the boy had infuriated him. Angelus was roaring inside him. Payback was going to be a bitch.

Marcus didn't seem to notice the vampire's fury and taunted him still. "After I kill you I will have that pretty boy over there. As a matter of fact, I plan on having him again and again----" His words were cut off by a sharp uppercut delivered to his jaw care of Angel. Angel picked him up and threw him into a piece of wood which ended up embedded in his chest. Marcus looked down and smirked again. Nope, there was no killing him today or ever he thought with glee. Marcus watched as Angel approached him, a deadly look in his dark eyes.

"You'll never have Xander or any other boy ever again. And by the way, I just want to say...you never cracked me Marcus. You tried, but you failed. That's got to be torture." And with those words Angel grabbed Marcus' hand and pulled the ring off his finger, watching as the other vampire's dust blew into the ocean.

Angel quickly slipped the ring onto his finger so that he wouldn't burn up in the daylight. He turned and ran to Xander who was still lying on the ground, a dazed expression on his face.

Xander didn't seem to notice Angel approach. He was too busy staring at his hand which was covered in his blood. In all the years he had fought beside Buffy, no vampire had ever bitten him or even come close except for Angelus and Dru. And if he was going to be killed by a vampire Xander realized he would much rather it be one he had known than some pervert with a thing for male children. Suddenly, he noticed that Angel had come up to him and was holding him, anxiously looking at the bite as he tried to calm Xander down. "Angel?"

"Yeah, it's me Xander. Don't worry, he won't hurt you. I killed him."

"Knew you could do it, Deadboy," Xander quipped as he quickly stood up and out of Angel's reach. He was embarrassed that Angel had seen him freak out. Just as he was assuring Angel that he was fine, Cordelia, Doyle and Oz came rushing down the pier. Angel didn't notice them though because he was too busy marveling at the fact that he could actually walk into the sun without burning up. It had been so long since he had been able to walk along the shore watching the children play with the sand, building castles large and small. The four friends walked away, leaving Angel to enjoy the sun and as Xander looked back and saw the awed look on the vampire's face, he suddenly felt himself feeling sorry for the vampire. It had to be terrible not to be able to be out in the sun.

Angel walked around the city all day long pondering whether he should keep the ring or not. He almost felt human being able to walk amongst the living. He felt grateful to his friends for helping him and he was even worried about Xander and what had happened under the pier, but somehow he could not bring himself to head home until the sun was just beginning to set on the horizon. He walked up to the roof of his building and sat to enjoy the last lingering rays of the sun as it headed behind the horizon. What a beautiful sight. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he sensed someone approaching him and turned to see Xander and Doyle walking towards him.

"So how long has it been between sunsets?" Doyle asked.

"Two hundred years give or take," Angel answered nonchalantly.

"Well, you got to be feeling pretty damn good then. I mean, this ring, it changes everything doesn't it?" Doyle quipped. They smiled at each other but Angel said nothing. Doyle waited a moment and then continued, "Yeah, it is spectacular I know but I do promise there will be another one just like it tomorrow." He was shocked to hear Angel reply, "Not for me."

"What are you saying, that the city's going to be hit by a meteor before tomorrow night?" No answer. "No, no, no, it's too horrible to say. I can't even bring myself to say it." Doyle's brain had kicked in and he was beginning to understand what Angel was going to do with the ring.

"I'm not going to wear the ring."

"That was the other. You got a real addiction to the brooding part of life; did anyone ever tell you that?"

Angel glanced at Xander who just smiled and looked down. He turned back to Doyle, "Once or twice."

"Care to explain?" Doyle was not about to give up on the ring so quickly. "I mean this ring is your redemption, it's what you've been waiting for."

"No." Angel shook his head. "It just looks like it."

"Angel man think what you're saying," Doyle pleaded. He looked to Xander for help and the boy softly said, "Buffy would want you to keep that you know."

"I know she would. Tell her thank you but I can't." Angel looked determined and Xander gave up on any protestations he might have. "I've thought of it from every angle and what I figure is I did a lot of damage in my day, more than either of you can imagine."

"But if this ring can help you to help other people, you can't just throw it away." Xander looked hurt.

As good as it had felt to spend time out in the sun today, Angel knew that he could never go back to making it an everyday thing. And he certainly didn't want some other vampire getting hold of the ring. "Yes, I can."

Now it was Doyle's turn to plead with the vampire again. "So what...you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet? I mean think of all the daytime people you could help between 9 and 5.”

"They have help," Angel interrupted. "The whole world is designed for them. So much that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night or the things that prey on them and if I join them, maybe I'd stop seeing too."

"Got to disagree with you there Deadboy. I think I can pretty well say that I certainly do. See them I mean. Hell, I'm one of the lost, weak ones that do know what will prey on me." Xander intoned. "You saved me once again and I won't forget that. I'm sorry I freaked on you earlier today. It was the first time I have ever been bitten by a vampire and unlike those stupid vampire movies, there is nothing erotic about it."

Angel found himself reaching out to run his hand over the bandage Cordelia had placed on Xander's neck earlier. "You'd be surprised, Xander. Some vampire bites can be very erotic. But putting that aside, I know you and the others know what's out there in the dark but a lot of people don't and they're the ones I have to worry about."

"But Angel, you have so much broody in your body that I don't think you would ever forget about oogie boogies at night. You would never stop seeing what was going on around you." Xander tried again.

"I was brought back for a reason, Xander. As much as I would like to kid myself I don't think it was to play 18 holes of golf." Angel took the ring off his finger and grabbing a rock, got ready to break it. Xander stopped him.

"Why don't you keep it around so if you ever need it, you'll have it? I saw the way you looked when you were walking on the beach and I can only imagine how hard it is not to be able to walk in the sun. I'd die if I couldn't do that." He heard Doyle laugh and realized what he had said. "Oops, ode to wrong phrasing. You know what I mean."

"I understand what you said, really I do, but I don't want some other vampire to get hold of it. It's too big of a risk, even to walk in the daylight." Angel told him. "You saw what happened today. What if I hadn't been there to stop Marcus?" Xander thought about those little kids and how he, himself had felt, and nodded his head. Angel smashed the ring and the three men just stood there for a few minutes before smiling at each other.

"I have to say I admired you today. I don't know that I could have stood that torture without telling them everything, even if I did have those special vampire healing qualities."

"You're stronger than you think Xander. Besides I was this close to telling them everything. I mean one more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, everything."

"Yeah, well I don't know that I would have wanted you to give them my mom, but maybe you could have given them my dad instead." He laughed bitterly. "Look, Oz and I will be heading back to Sunnydale after tonight and I just wanted to say good-bye. You know, I might never understand you Angel, but I think I like what you have become since you came to L.A. We might have actually been friends way back when if you had acted like this and we hadn't both been crazy about Buffy at the time." He suddenly stopped in front of the other two, making them stop quickly so as not to run into him. He turned and asked Angel, "Do vampires play golf?"

Angel looked at the boy for a long time, marveling at Xander's thought process. "Not that I know of, no, it was just a joke. Listen, Xander if you don't want to tell Buffy why you came here, we can just forget about it...keep it between us."

"Thanks for the offer but I have to do this, just like you had to smash that ring. The gang has to know what I did, and I can't ask Oz to lie to Willow on account of me. Besides, I know he wouldn't. If things get rough, well that's part of friendship isn't it? It's not always about flowers and twinkies."

"Only you would make that kind of comparison, Xander, only you." Angel said, laughing despite himself as the three men descended the stairs.

So here Xander was a mere 5 hours from the time he had left Angel's, standing in the middle of Gile's living room. He had just told everyone why he had gone to L.A. with Oz and why he was back so suddenly. He told them about his lie and how it had to led to Buffy's heartbreak of killing Angel. He tried to make them understand his actions, but he knew they didn't understand. Xander could tell by the expressions on their faces now.

Buffy was furious with him and Willow had refused to look at him, the pain on her face evident. They had known each other since they were 3 years old and he had never let her down on a promise until now. Giles had what Xander referred to as "Ripperface" on, and he had never seen the older man this mad about something he had done since that stupid spell he had Amy do on Valentine's Day. He still remembered how Giles had told him to get out of his sight, how badly it had hurt him and he was hoping that he didn't get that same treatment again. However, it wasn't looking good for the Xanman. The tension in the room was unbearable and he hoped that one of them would make a move soon. He didn't have long to wait.

"So what you're telling me is that while Willow was trying to help Angel and I without causing us pain, you showed up and told me that she said to 'kick his ass'. You not only broke a promise to your best friend, but you looked your other best friend straight in the eye and you LIED TO ME! Do you know what pain you put me through Xander? Pain that you could have stopped if you had only told me the truth?" Buffy was up out of the chair and in his face within seconds.

Xander flinched. He had never seen Buffy this angry. The part of his brain that was working for his self-preservation told him to stay quiet and take it, but the other part, the one that felt that even though he hadn't wanted to hurt her, he had been right to make that decision decided what his mouth would say.

"Would it have stopped the pain, Buffy? Or would you have marched into that mansion and tried to hold Angelus off while you waited for Willow's spell to work? You would've gotten yourself killed. And what if Willow was too weak to do the spell? What then? And if my memory serves me correctly, Angelus had already awakened Acathla before you got to him, so me telling you would have been pointless."

"I ran away from all of you because I couldn't face the fact that I had killed the only man I had ever truly loved. I had nightmares every night while I was on the run. I relived stabbing Angel over and over again, seeing the look of betrayal on his face when he looked at me. I woke up screaming, feeling like I still had his blood on my hands. I dreamed of him being tortured in hell in every possible way you can imagine."

"I didn't go there to purposely lie to you. I explained all that to you. Don't you see? I loved you too much to let you get killed by Angelus. At least Angel understood when I told him that. Why can't you?"

"I'm sorry I'm not as understanding as your new bestest friend," Buffy said sarcastically. All she had heard since his return was how great Angel was. "Why couldn't you have been such good friends when he was in my life instead of being a jealous, selfish little asshole that couldn't see how much I loved Angel? All you cared about was your stupid pride and the fact that I had chosen him over you time and again."

"I just wanted to be your friend, Xander, but that wasn't good enough for you was it? I tried to tell you how much I loved you as a friend but I guess that didn't matter did it? Did you feel proud when you lied? Did you throw a party when you realized that Angel was gone and you thought you could have a shot with me? Did you stick around and watch the show? How satisfied were you when I killed Angel? Oh, and let's not forget about the big speech you gave me at my welcome home party, something about most girls not hopping a greyhound over boy troubles. Making me feel worse about leaving you guys and my mom here to worry about me, while all along you knew that you were the cause of it."

"No wonder you were so mad when you found out Angel was back from the dead. You weren't worried about us getting all groiny as you called it. You were mad because your little plan to get rid of him permanently didn't work. And you weren't even man enough to face Angel when you saw us together. No, you had to go and grab little psycho Faith to help you kill him because you're nothing but a selfish coward!" Buffy was so angry she was shaking. She knew that she was losing it, saying things that were hurtful and mean to one of her best friends, but she was so full of rage at this moment that she couldn't stop herself.

Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. He knew that she would be angry with him but to be called a selfish coward was going too far. How many times had he, a mere mortal, faced off against demons, including Angelus himself, just so she would be safe? Hell, he had no doubt that if he hadn't made Angel take him to the Master's lair that Buffy would have been dead a long time ago. Angel, the great protector, was sitting on his ass doing nothing to help Buffy until Xander goaded him into helping. Xander got to his feet, his face now as red with rage as Buffy's.

"I'm a selfish coward? I can't believe you said that! I have been beside you in every fight. I didn't feel proud or satisfied when you killed Angel. I hated what it did to you. And when I realized that Willow's spell had worked, I felt terrible, not just for you but for everyone else too. Giles was going out all the time trying to find you, coming back looking much the worse for wear every time he didn't, Willow was crying all the time because you weren't here, and your mother was lost without you. Do you know how many nights I spent at your mother's house, mowing her yard, helping around the house just to keep her company because I knew how much she missed you? God, I would have given anything to have a mother that loved me as much as she does you."

"Maybe I shouldn't have gotten onto you at the party that night, but you were ready to skip out on them all again, and I hated it. I know you were right when you said you couldn't have come to me, but what about Willow or Giles or even your own mother? But instead you ran. You call me selfish, but what you did to all of them, the pain you were planning on submitting them to was just as selfish as what I did. You weren't thinking of anyone but yourself, what you wanted, what you were going through."

"Pain that you caused her, Xander." Now Giles was getting into the act. "Pain that you caused us all. You never stop to think before you act so rashly, do you?"

"Sometimes I do, and this was one of those times. I thought about all the lives Angelus was fucking with and it was a fairly easy choice."

"I'm not happy with what Xander did, but let's all try to calm down before we say things to each other that we can't repair. Let's try not to forget how much we love each other, no matter what, okay?" Willow offered gently.

"I think it's a little late for that Wills," Xander replied. "I can't take this anymore. I've always tried to be there for all of you when something terrible has happened. I've been supporto guy whenever you need me, except with the Angel thing, but you all don't seem to want to return the favor."

"Oh, so now you're going to try turning this all around on us." Buffy glared at him. "You're the one that did something wrong."

"You're right. I did. I'm apologizing. But don't think you guys have been such great friends all the time. Not even Willow. None of you realized how much I loved Cordelia not even when I lost her. Hell, Willow avoided me like I had the plague, something I would never do, not even for Cordy. Willow's too important to me to ever put anyone between us."

"Like you really loved Cordelia like Willow does Oz," Buffy's voice was full of sarcasm.

"You never saw Cordy and I when we were alone together. We told each other things about ourselves we never told anyone else. I loved her a lot, I still do, just not in a girlfriend way anymore. Buffy, you hurt me because you always make fun of any relationship I have - you never think anyone can love me unless it's a big joke. You never pay attention to how your words can hurt me. Take the Faith fiasco for example. I had sex with her, which may not have meant anything to her, but it was a big deal for me. I lost my virginity that night. But when I offered to go and talk to her because I thought we had a connection what did you tell me Buffy? Do you even remember? You told me that I was a joke to her. Would you have said that to Willow? I don't think so. And then after she tried to kill me you still wanted to help her. Yet when she tried to kill Angel you tried to murder her."

"And you Giles. Do you realize how differently you treat me than you do Buffy and Willow? I understand that Buffy is like a daughter to you, but don't I count for something? You yelled at me for that spell I had Amy do when Cordy broke up with me, which you should have. How many times have you yelled at Willow for using magic? None. You just quietly advise her not to do some spells. Buffy didn't tell you Angel was back and alive, even after Angel had killed your girlfriend and tortured you. What did you say? Buffy realizes what she did was wrong...everyone go back to class. Hell, you've never once told them to get out of your sight like you did me. That really hurt."

"I guess I shouldn't expect anything I've said to reach any of you. It's not like you pay that much attention to how I'm feeling. Maybe it's because I'm the guy in the equation, but it sucks. I should have spoken up a long time ago, told you my issues but I was afraid of hurting your feelings. Afraid of losing you as friends. But I have nothing to lose now do I? Not after telling you about Angel. So I'll just lay it all out for you guys. You've stuck caring about my feelings at the bottom of the Scooby list of things to pay attention to, right behind buying the right hair products and what to eat for lunch."

"That's not true, Xander. We care how you feel," Willow protested as Giles and Buffy nodded their agreement.

"Really? So when was the last time you went with me to Jesse's grave, huh? Like since never. I didn't expect Giles and Buffy to grieve for him...after all they didn't really know him. But you, Willow. My God, we were all best friends. Everyone called us the Three Musketeers. That's what we were - all for one and one for all. Then Darla turned him and guess who ended up killing him? Me! That's right, during the fight at the Bronze during the Harvest. I couldn't do it myself, it was accidental but still I offed one of my best friends. I've had to live with that for years now, because I couldn't turn to my other best friend and talk about it."

"Oh, God Xander, I'm so sorry. You know I loved Jesse it's just---" Willow couldn't find the words.

"What? What is it just? Just that you don't want to think about him because it hurts too much? Or just because you're afraid that Buffy felt guilty about not finding him in time, so instead of making her feel uncomfortable you totally disregarded him, put him out of your mind forever? Because you did that, you know. When Buffy and I got back after finding him, she told you Jesse was dead. All you said was, well at least you two are okay. No tears for a life long friend. When and if I ever get killed, will you do the same thing to me? Forget me as soon as it happens so that it's convenient or so you can go deep into denial land?

"No, I could never forget you Xander. And I never forgot Jesse, either. Each person has their own way to deal with death. No, I haven't been to Jesse's grave. I prefer to go to the playground when I think about him. I swing on his favorite swing. I talk to him there, tell him how we're doing and all. And I remember all the happy times we had while we were there. Just because I never talk about him doesn't mean I didn't love him. You know I did," Willow angrily defended herself.

"I'm sorry if I seem insensitive. Maybe you don't want to talk about him but I need to, Will. Sometimes I like my private times thinking of him, but it would be nice if there was someone there to share things with, memories of times past, things we did together that only you and I would know about. Not this unspoken code we have to never mention his name again."

"I keep telling myself that you guys are my friends and that you love me, but a lot of the time it's hard to remember that. And what's really funny about the whole thing is the one person who should be the most upset by this confession of mine, the one I treated the worst through everything, turned out to be more forgiving than my own friends. Just think about that while you're mad at me for my supposed uncaring moment."

Xander stopped long enough to get control of his emotions. He stared at his friends, knowing it was time to go. As he headed to the door he remembered something Buffy had said and he turned to look at her.

"By the way, Buff, I didn't send Faith to kill him. Well, I have to admit I was very pissed, not because I was jealous but because he was still alive and you were kissing him even though you know what that leads to and what happens to Angel when you give him a 'happy'. I was scared for all of us. I knew that you didn't want any of us hurt but I was afraid you would lose control and end up getting yourself and everyone else killed when Angelus resurfaced. When we found Giles I tried to tell Faith that I didn't think he'd done it, that it wasn't his style but she wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't stop her because I had to stay with Giles. Like I told you, she was a big girl and she jumped to her own conclusions. Were you thinking about any of us when you were hiding Angel, Buffy or were you only thinking of yourself? You made a judgment call, just like I did with you." With those words, Xander shut the door and headed home.

Xander arrived home an hour later, kicking off his shoes and heading straight for the bed. God, this had been the longest day of his life. It had drained him completely of all emotion or so he thought, until he laid back and remembered the looks he had been given as he told his story and the angry words that had followed. He was disappointed and angry with his friends, but he was also upset with himself. He knew that they had all been running on emotion and that his friends really did love him. If Angel could forgive him, then surely his loved ones would. He just had to give them time to sort through their emotions.

He thought back to what Buffy had said about the pain she had been in and realized that he had been a little selfish when he made that big party speech. He hadn't been oblivious to her pain, he just hadn't realized how bad it had been for her until she spelled it out for him. He vowed that if the gang was ever back together again the way they used to be, that he would make sure that he was more aware of their feelings. But he was different now. He wouldn't be together with them if they couldn't see his pain and be there for him.

Just as he was about to pull himself up from the bed to get him something to eat, the door to the basement opened with a bang. He heard his father's voice bellowing at him to get the hell up the stairs. Oh, geez, the worst timing award goes to the loud mouthed drunk known as dad.

Well, here goes nothing. Time to try out new Mr. Confidence Man. And why did he always make everything sound like superhero names? He walked up the stairs and met his father at the top. "What do you need, dad?" Xander tried not to flinch from the alcohol on his dad's breath.

"What do you think I need, you little idiot," his father growled. "The rent was due last week and you didn't pay it boy."

"Yes, I did," Xander argued. "Don't you remember, I came in and you and mom were sitting on the couch drinking as usual. I walked over and gave you the envelope with the money in it."

"You're a fucking liar boy. Give me the rent or I'll take it out of your worthless hide."

"I'm not giving you any more money, dad. I paid you last week and I already pay too much for this hole as it is." Xander was adamant. "And you won't be doing anything to my hide because it's over. I'm tired of being used as a Xander punching bag. If you hate me so much I’ll take a picture of mine, have it blown up and put it on one of those hanging dummies and you can beat it till you get tired and pass out."

He knew his mouth had gotten him in trouble again, but a part of him was glad. He wanted to finally be able to stand up to his father and was tired of waiting for that first punch. He saw it coming a mile away and blocked his father's arm. Oh, yeah, it had paid off watching Buffy pound on vampires. But while he was doing a happy dance because he had finally stopped his father from hitting him, he forgot about the other arm. His father raised his other arm and knocked Xander upside the head with his bottle of whiskey. Stunned from the blow Xander backed away, forgetting that he was on the stairs, and soon found himself falling head over heels down the basement steps. The last thing he heard before he passed out was his father yelling about the waste of alcohol and how he had one day to get him his rent money.

Xander didn't know how long he lay there before he finally came to. All he knew was that he ached all over. Well, that couldn't be good. Tentatively, he raised every appendage making sure nothing was broken. When he assured himself that nothing was he sat up, only to find that blood was still coming from somewhere on his head. Shit, better get up and find the first aid kit once again.

Xander stumbled into the bathroom and turned the light on. Holy headache, Batman, that was the worst thing he could have done. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, he managed to turn and look at himself in the mirror. There were a few bruises on his face and a gash along his hairline from where the bleeding was coming from. He decided to take a shower, knowing from previous experience that it would make it better and he could get cleaned up all in the same process.

After adjusting the water until it was as hot as he could stand, he stepped inside and showered. He hissed when the soap and water hit his forehead, but he knew he had to make sure there was no glass from the bottle inside to get infected. And was he a sick person for basking in the fact that he had made his dad so mad by fighting back that he had lost the rest of his precious alcohol? Score one for the Xander shaped fellow. After he got out of the shower Xander slowly got dressed, put a bandage on his forehead, and again made his way to the kitchen to put a pizza in the oven. He desperately needed some comfort food.

Xander was getting the pizza out of the oven when the phone rang. He hurried as quickly as he possibly could, what with a very hot pizza and a soda in his hands, praying all the while that it would be Willow. He knew that Buffy and Giles would need more time, but Willow had taken up for him even though she was disappointed in him and he felt she would be the first one to crack.

"Hello," he said hopefully. His spirits fell a little when he recognized the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Xander, I'm glad I finally reached you. I've been trying to call for hours now. Where the hell have you been," Cordelia huffed.

"I was at confessional," he replied, setting his pizza and soda on the table.

"I didn't know you were Catholic," Cordelia replied. "I thought I remembered you saying once that you were Episcopalian."

"I am. It was just a joke, Cordy. I went straight to Giles' house after I left L.A. I wanted to tell the gang what I told you guys earlier, you know get it over with and all."

"Oh." There was a slight pause. "How did it go?"

"How do you think it went?" He snapped, immediately feeling bad. "I'm sorry, Cordy I shouldn't have yelled at you. It went about the way I expected it would. Buffy was furious, Willow was hurt and Giles was Ripper."

"Oh, I'm sorry Xander, really I am. I hoped it would go better than that." Another pause before Cordelia continued, "Are you going to be alright? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't think so. I'm a little tired Cordy. I don't want to be rude but I don't have a lot of talk left in me, and stop and consider the irony. I appreciate you calling, but would you please call back tomorrow so I can remember to thank you for reminding me why I love you so much?"

"No, but I'll promise to get off the phone and not bother you anymore tonight if you promise me that you'll come to L.A. tomorrow and spend a little time with me. I can tell by the tone of your voice that you're really hurt. I want to be there for you face to face. Besides, I didn't realize how much I had missed you until I saw you today. Speaking friend wise of course."

"Of course," Xander smiled into the phone. He really did love Queen C. She was not nearly the bitch she prided herself on being. She had just proven the point he had tried to make to the others. Their relationship had been about more than baiting each other and making out in dark school closets. It had been about friendship and love.

"Of course friend wise, or of course you'll come to L.A.?" Cordelia wasn't giving up. Xander was coming to L.A. one way or another. She had had a long talk with Angel after Xander left and both were worried about how Buffy would take the news, not to mention Spike stalking him. They had agreed that both of them would feel better having him with them for awhile.

"I don't know that coming there is such a good idea, Cordy. I just got back and I don't want to look like I'm running from everyone here, you know?"

"You're not running from everyone there, you're running to your friend here who's missed you. I'll see you tomorrow okay? Please?"

It was the please that decided it for Xander. He didn't hear that from Cordy if ever and it warmed his heart to know that she would go to such great lengths to let him know how much she cared. "I'll be there tomorrow, sometime I don't know when. Do you want me to come to the office?"

"Yeah, I'll be there for a while. See you then."

yeah,ok. bye, Cordy and thanks." Xander hung up the phone, finished his pizza and soda, and headed for the bed. He needed a good nights rest before setting out on his trip tomorrow.

You know, you I've kind of figured out." Doyle was saying. "Big, bad-ass, brooding vampire, but I'm still having trouble getting a handle on Cordy. It's like wrestling a tiger, just to get to know her. Tell me stuff."

"She's a beautiful woman with a heart of gold, once you really get to know her. But you have to cut through that 'tough as nails' attitude she likes to show the world," Xander answered Doyle's question, stepping into the room.

"Xander, I'm glad you decided to come back." Angel said, smiling. He and Cordy had talked for a long time about Xander and Angel was beginning to realize that he had never known the boy in front of him.

"Me too. Cordy invited me to spend some time with her... you know catching up on old times and all, and since there was nothing keeping me in Sunnydale I thought why the hell not." Xander looked at both men sadly. Where is Cordy, anyway?"

"She had an audition, but she told me to keep an eye out for you and not to let you slip out before she got back." He looked at the kid again for real this time. He took in all the bruises and the bandage attached to the boys forehead. "You look rough."

"Buffy put those bruises on you?" Angel asked, feeling sorry for the boy in front of him.

No, this is from a drunk demon - goes by the name Harris." He fidgeted nervously wishing he could take the spotlight off of him for awhile. "What's up with Cordy?"

"Nothing, she just refused to take a call from her friend, Aura I think her name was, and we were trying to figure out why." Doyle replied.

"Aura of the Cordettes?" Xander asked. He shook his head. "Gee. I haven't seen her in a long time and I'm thinking that's of the good being as she hated me like all of Cordy's friends did."

"Who are the Cordettes?" Doyle asked the question to no one in particular.

Angel set his book down on his lap and faced Doyle. "Bunch of girls from wealthy families. They used to rule the high school, decided who was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police if they cared about shoes."

"And she was the richest one of all? Cause the way she talks it sounds like she had servants made of solid gold or something." Doyle was still curious.

"Pretty much until her parents lost it all. Riches to rags." Angel answered.

"That's one hell of a come down." Doyle said, feeling sorry for Cordelia.

"Yeah." Angel replied. "But she's doing alright."

"Really? You think so, Deadboy? Cause somehow I would say you were so out in left field with that one that you could eat lunch before a ball would ever come your way." Xander retorted from where he was leaning against the doorframe.

"What do you mean?" Doyle asked.

"Angel didn't know her that well when all that stuff happened. She lost her car and that was her baby, although you couldn't tell by the way she drove it around town. She was so afraid that her friends would make fun of her when they found out what happened that she hid that she was working from them." Xander replied.

"Then how did you know?" Doyle asked Xander.

"Taunting accident. After we broke up, we pretty much went back to getting under each other's skins any way we could. I saw her looking at prom dresses at this store and I went in to make fun of her for taking so long to choose one. Turned out she was working there. She was trying to save up enough money for her prom dress and she hadn't been able to get enough money to for it so she was pretty darn mad. She thought I was going to tell everyone, so we could make fun of her. But I never told anyone. The gang still doesn't know. She must really trust you to tell you about her loss of money," Xander said, looking at Angel.

"We trust each other." Angel told him.

"Man, the poor girl didn't go to the prom. That must have really been awful for her," Doyle said.

"She was at the prom, I saw her there when I went with Buffy," Angel contradicted. Then he put it all together. Xander knowing Cordelia didn't have the money for the dress along with Cordy telling him that she and Xander had made up at the prom and had started being friends again. Looking at the boy, he asked, "You paid for it didn't you."

"Just what was owed on it which was very little. I had some money saved for my trip across country that ended up going nowhere. It was totally worth it to see her looking so happy. Besides, the prom just wouldn't have been the same without Queen C. And we finally got back to being friends again, which was really nice."

"Well, all that's in the past," Angel said. "She's grown and matured and she can handle things better now."

"Lots of things are in the past-doesn't mean it still doesn't affect us now does it?" Xander looked meaningfully at Angel. "I don't want to piss you off again... but...well I've known Cordy since kindergarten...... I'm thinking that if she didn't talk to Aura on the phone today then she's hiding something from her because Cordy loves to gossip as much as I like to eat......look what I'm trying to say is just put two and two together. Cordy invites me here to catch up on old times, but refuses to talk to Aura. She's hiding something, just like she did that job of hers last year. Her life isn't coming together like she wants it too....not that she's probably not very happy to be working with you two....but.....she had other dreams too you know. And I'll just stop babbling now."

Angel realized Xander had a point. Maybe Xander was more intuitive than anyone gave him credit for. Before he could say anything, Xander spoke up. "Look, I see I'm in the way here so can you just point me in the direction of a low budget motel minus demons and bad ass characters and just a few less cockroaches than my basement because I'm kinda tired and I don't have much money because I just paid my parents rent and I don't have that much cash on me."

Doyle smiled at Xander's description of the motel he was looking for. He liked this kid. Suddenly, he got an idea. "Why don't you stay with me, cause my apartment fits that description. While you're here we can get to know each other better."

"You sure, because I don't want to put you out or anything, and I don't want charity." Xander added proudly. "I've got enough money to make due while I'm here, I just didn't want to over spend my non-existent budget because I don't have a job as of two days ago, again."

"Really...it'll be great. I could use the company. Do you like to drink? There's that great bar I talked about last time you were here. We could go there and talk." Doyle was suddenly excited about the idea.

Not so much for drinking right now. That way leads to nothing but badness. Not the hellmouthy kind rather the road of many mistakes taken. A few beers maybe but that's all." He smiled at Doyle. "I'm thinking the talking thing is getting to know more about Cordelia than me, which I respect. I can see you like her, but I don't think I would feel comfortable telling you about Cordy's life. She'll do that when she's ready, believe me on that one.”

"I'm sure we can think of other things to talk about besides Cordy. Come on and we can head out for my apartment. See you tomorrow, Angel."

"Yeah, right." Angel marveled at the way the two men had fallen into such friendly banter in such a short time. He wondered how Xander made everyone feel so comfortable with him. He wished he could do that, but he just didn't have very good people skills. "Good-bye Doyle, Xander."

"See you later Angel," Xander replied as he followed Doyle out the door and off into the night to the half demon's apartment.

The walk was short as Doyle's apartment was only 2 blocks from the office, but the two men had fun just joking and talking about whatever came to mind. Xander felt Doyle was a lot like him, and for a while all his troubles were forgotten. That was until they reached Doyle's apartment. They had heard the phone ringing and Doyle hurried to get his key inside the lock so he could answer the phone before whoever was at the other end hung up. As Doyle went into his apartment he turned on the light. Just as he was getting ready to pick up the phone, Xander saw the demon right before he was grabbed and held tightly against him. He heard a voice say, "Hello, Doyle."

Doyle spun around to find his friend being held by a demon he knew was a collector. Oh, shit what was he going to do now? He couldn't let the boy get hurt on his account and so he stood there with what he hoped was his most innocent little boy face and said, "I think you have the wrong place."

The demon holding Xander wasn't fooled. "You owe money."

"It's all about money," Doyle started talking, all the while trying to figure out some way out of this. It was going to be doubly hard with Xander along. "What about friendship and family and all those things that are priceless, like they say in those credit card commercials."

"I love those commercials, especially the ones..."Xander croaked as the demon tightened his grip on him. "Yeah, right you're a demon with focus."

"Leave the kid alone he doesn't have anything to do with this," Doyle warned the demon.

"He'll be dead if I don't get the money you owe me," threatened the demon.

"I have your money right here, "Doyle said, walking over to his dresser. The demon followed, dragging Xander along with him. As Doyle reached for the drawer, the demon snaked a hand from in behind Xander and smashed Doyle's hand in it.

"You're not stupid enough to have a gun in there, right?" The demon warned.

"What? No way, man. Even if I did I couldn't use it now could I what with the bullet having to go through my friend before it got to you." Doyle answered.

"That would not be of the good," Xander added, noticing that Doyle was trying to catch his eye. He looked from the drawer back to the demon again and Xander thought he knew what Doyle was planning. Okay, Xander hope you're quick enough to duck.

As Doyle told the demon to look he grabbed the drawer out of the dresser and swung it aiming for the demons head and hoping that Xander had understood what he was planning. It seemed Xander did because he ducked just as the drawer connected with the demons jaw. He let go of Xander and both men made a mad dash out of the apartment and down the hall, out onto the street.

"Which way?" Xander asked.

"We'll go to that bar I was telling you about, hang out for a while and then we'll head to one of those motels you were describing earlier. Only for the night, though I promise."

"Look Doyle, not that I'm not grateful for the offer of a place to stay but I specifically remember asking for a no bad characters kind of place. What the hell was going on back there?" Xander asked his new friend.

"Old gambling debts." Doyle answered as he led the way up to the bar. After a few drinks they headed over to a nearby motel and Xander paid the man for the night. When they were in the room, Xander turned to Doyle."Why don't you tell Angel about that guy? I bet he'd tear him a new one for messing with one of his friends."

"I cant. Please don't tell him or Cordy about this. It's just that I don't think Angel would understand what is going on. And I don't want either one of them disappointed in me." Doyle hung his head as if in shame.

"Friends, true friends understand things. They may be disappointed for awhile but hopefully they get over it in time." Xander didn't know if he was talking about Doyle and Angel or him and his friends. "But don't worry. I won't tell either of them. Well, unless I think not telling him will get you dead. You want Angel to respect you, cause you like him and look up to him am I right?"

"Yeah."

"But not in the like like way right? Because you do have the hots for Cordy, right?" Doyle nodded.

"I do but there's something about Angel. He likes playing the hero, walking off into the dark, his long coat flowing behind him in a mysterious and attractive way. But no, I don't like him like that, I'm totally into Cordelia. But if I were like that ----"

"I know what you mean. I always thought Angel was an attractive, if not irritating, man. I never got along with him because I was so jealous of him. But I knew I didn't stand a chance with Buffy as long as he was around."

"Do you still love Buffy?" Doyle asked the young man sitting in front of him.

"Not that way. Still, they both need to move on though, because there can never be anything between them. Even if Angel didn't have that curse, a vampire and a vampire slayer are just not meant to be, no matter how much they love each other."

"They can tell themselves that all they want but love isn't logical. Take me and my wife, Harry. Yes, a girl. Harry is short for Harriet. We thought our love would last forever until she and I realized that I had taken on my father's demon looks." Doyle couldn't believe he had just told Xander that. He had never told anyone about Harry, not even Angel or Cordelia, and the only reason Angel knew he was a demon was because of his calling and Angel's vampire senses.

Before Doyle could say anything, Xander looked at him and grinned. "I won't say anything to Cordy and Angel about this, right? I think you're underestimating Cordy. If she cares about you, well the demon thing won't bother her. I think it will bother her more if you lie to her not to mention the fact that you have a wife. You need to come clean with her about everything. Lies are never good. By the way, what kind of demon are you half of anyway?"

"Bracchen. And as for Harry, well we're practically divorced."

"Oh. That's good because I don't think Cordy's into married men, unless they're rich. By the way, speaking of Cordy, I want to be up early to see her in the morning so we better get to that motel."

"I'll pay for the room tonight," Doyle said getting into his bed. "After all, it is my fault that we're here."

"It's fine, don't worry about it. It's your fault that you are here, not me. I would have had to stay in a motel anyway. Let's get some sleep." With that said, Xander lay down on his bed and was soon fast asleep. A few minutes later so was Doyle.