And fifth season begins with a visually stunning and very interesting episode.
I know that fifth season is not a favorite among many fans, but it is quite possibly my favorite season for a number of reasons.
Why isn’t Amarice cold wearing her brief outfit? It is snowing out. Joxer
says he wants to take the bodies back to Greece for burial, but Amarice says
the Romans are still there guarding the bodies. She attacks and kills three
Romans, and Eli, she, and Joxer climb ladders and pull the nails holding the
girls to the crosses. The bodies are brought down and put in a cellar-like
area on a slab.
Xena and Gabby are sitting on rocks in the afterlife, and they see a halo of
angels coming to pick them up. Gabby is lifted first, then Xena. Gravity
still plays a part in the afterlife, and when demons from hell attack, both
girls are dropped. Callisto, looking fiendish and not merely pretty as in
IDES, catches Gabby , and Michael, the Archangel, catches Xena. He insists
on his proper title. Cal wants to deliver Xena to ‘her lord”. Other angels keep Cal busy and she drops Gabby; Xena tries to fall after her, and defying the laws of physics,
is able to fall faster than Gabby, almost reaching her. Mike stops her as
Gabby falls.
Heaven is a pile of rocks, not much different from hell. There are a lot of
jerky landings by the angels with their wings .Mike says Gabby has gone to
hell….how? Who does the judging there? There is no mention of a “him” there.
Xena says she heard of hell (from Cal in IDES). Mike says it is a war of
good and evil? What other kind is there?
Mike tells Xena that for her to reform, and get a new body, she must pass a
test. Xena jumps anyway, only to be caught again by him. Xena wants her
wings and says she and Gabby have a destiny together.
In hell, Gabby awakens next to Callisto, who has bat-wings and taloned hands
and feet, plus some nasty-looking teeth. The supple Cal crouches on a rock
and fluffs her wings, wanting Gabby to eat of the food of hell and become
one of them. Gabby sees the food, and refuses. Cal is gleeful and orders
some demons to force-feed Gabby, spilling food and wine on her.
In heaven, a cave, Xena has a choice to purify herself by fire or water. She
takes the fire, and Mike is worried she is taking too long. She emerges on
fire but is not burned. She goes into the divine water is cleansed, and
comes out in a new outfit and has black wings. She sort of hangs and bounces
in air, since the wings are not flapping.
Amarice cuts off a lock of Xena’s hair as a keepsake, saying she will pick
up where Xena left off. She will honor her memory. She does not cut a lock
of Queen Gabby’s hair, tho…even tho Amarice is an Amazon (we think).
Amarice blames Eli for the girls’ deaths because he made Gabby helpless…she
had lost her warrior spirit, and Xena had to try to save her. Joxer
protests, but Eli knows it is true.
Heaven: There is to be a raid on hell to rescue Gabby while there is still
time. Xena has a sword. Mike says anyone who gives the damned her light will
be released, but the giver will go to hell.
Hell: Gabby is hungry and resists…Cal taunts her and Gabby, after eating the
food, is now a horny little devil, and her voice is changed. She calls Cal a
bitch. As she and Cal start to fight, Xena and the angels arrive and the
fight starts. Xena yells for Mike to get Gabby out of there…again, Xena
orders everyone around. Xena and Cal fight, and Xena cuts off one of Cal’s
bat-wings. Cal cries, saying she will never forgive Xena for burning her
town, killing her family, destroying her soul, and her reason to live and
love. Xena realizes Cal is right, so Xena gives Cal her light, now becoming a
demon while Cal is saved.
Heaven: Gabby is tossed into the holy water and emerges without horns…she
asks where Xena is and Mike tells her.
Xena is ugly in hell, and is a demon in charge. She wants to attack heaven
and take over, and also get Gabby back.
Note: Where is this “him” Cal referred to in IDES?
Heaven: Gabby sees Callisto, who looks beautiful with her long hair again,
and she is wearing a white gown. Cal does not remember her past, and Gabby
hates her still for killing Perdicus and others. Cal cannot say she did it.
Mike says Cal is what she would have been if Xena hadn’t destroyed her life.
He also says Xena is a demon and can’t be stopped.
Cave: Joxer says Gabby looks as if she is only sleeping. The three say they
can’t get the bodies past the Romans so they agree to bury them there.
Heaven: Gabby knows Xena will be lured to get her back. Mike says she will
have to be cut into a million pieces so she can’t do any more harm. Gabby
agrees. Gabby must be purified to get her wings…she also has to forgive Cal.
Gabby does not believe Cal’s’ words, but is later convinced as Cal wipes away
Gabby’s tears. Gabby now gets new wings and a sword. She has breast-armor a
lot like Boadicea. did in DELIVERER.
The Attack: Xena leads the demons against heaven. Xena faces Gabby and wants
peace, but Gabby knows it is impossible. Xena says Cal can never change, and
Xena’s and Gabby’s souls are supposed to be joined together. Gabby flies
off as Mike orders the trap sprung. There are a lot of angels and demons,
and some are wounded. How can spiritual beings bleed or feel pain? There is
a bad stunt double for Gabby, who appears to trip a lot. The other angels
are hovering on wires, not moving their wings. Cal just watches.
Xena goes after Gabby and there is a good scene of the clouds and Xena
saying “I can SMELL you.” I hoped Gabby used a deodorant. They fight a lot
and finally Gabby falls (fallen angel?”) Xena picks her up and says there is fun to be had down there. She jumps down and Mike leaps after them.
On earth, Eli laments that his way of love was not for Gabby. He says he
cannot protect the ones he loves (since he will not lift a finger to fight.)
Cal hears this and says love is the way. She now has her wings…she says for
him to go to Xena and Gabby. Eli places his hands on their heads as Cal
superimposes her hands over his. As Gabby, Xena, and Mike fall, they disappear and the girls wake up from the dead…They are alive! They are helped to sit up, and nobody says anything. Joxer just smiles, and Amarice stays in the background.
Mike and Cal are there…Cal gets the nod and puts her hand on Xena…there is a
light of sorts.
Cal can now see her family. Note: They have been in heaven for years and do
not have wings.
Gabby:” We’re going to be together for eternity.”
What a great comeback…not nearly as good as ARMY when Xena says “even in
death, I will never leave you.” What a letdown. There should have been more from the Warrior Princess. As far as I can see, she has been to heaven and hell, so has paid for all her crimes, but we will see in Friend in Need, that she always owes more.
This is the opener for Season 5. Amarice attacks Joxer at the crucifixion
site. She hears that he was friends with Xena and Gabby , and Joxer says he
came there because he has bad dreams about the girls being in trouble.
Hey! They are ALWAYS in trouble. Amarice shows him he is too late, since the dead girls are on crosses. Eli appears, and seems to know Joxer, even tho they never met.
How does he know Joxer at all?
Xena: ”Yeah.”