Kindred Spirits Part 2

The next scene makes me roar with laughter…every time. Even thinking about it puts a grin on my face. Xena is with the Amazons rehearsing the coronation dance, but the Warrior Princess is obviously not into it…at all. She follows along for a step or two, then goes off into her own routine, her eyes rolling in boredom most of the time. Somehow, I always picture her as Rizzo in Grease when I watch it, especially when she does her thumbs up move. Xena's total look of disinterest is hysterical!

Finally, she has lost all patience. She's had enough. One of the girls tells her she can't quit now, but Xena shrugs an apology. Eris, ever the tactful one, reminds the others, "Hey, Xena's a lot older than us. She's probably tired." Yeah, sure; that's a great way to get on Xena's good side! The Amazons leave to practice at Eris' place.

Xena watches Gabs approach, noticing the bard's new hat. I notice Gabs horns are longer than Xena's were in Adventures in the Sin Trade and Them Bones, Them Bones. Is there some significance in that (My hat is hornier than yours!)? I'm pretty well used to those hats by now, but somehow, Renee always looks vaguely uncomfortable in hers. I would imagine the cast and crew have a lot of fun making jokes about them. That's got to be one of the reasons Ted was cracking up so much in the stockade scene from the fifth season blooper reel!

Xena probably doesn't know how much of her improvised dance Gabs saw, and goes for the light approach. "Hey, you make that yourself?" She's referring, of course, to Gabrielle's hat.

Gabrielle is obviously not in the mood for levity. "Xena, I can make a difference with this tribe. You do understand that, don't you?" If all else fails, talk to Xena like she's a five year old. Come to think of it, Xena's tone of voice with her response kind of sounds like that five year old. "I do…" she reluctantly replies.

Gabbers ain't buying. "You don't," she says, knowingly, and Xena has to come clean.

"No, I don't." She tells Gabs that she has tried.

Gabs obviously saw a lot of the dance, "Xena, I can dance better than that."

All this leads up to a very hard-hitting conversation. Despite Xena's grumbling, I get the impression she really did at least make an effort to feel comfortable with the Amazons. But everyone she turned, there was Eris or Rea, or possibly even Gabrielle herself to undermine her. She's giving up now, saying, "This is just not me all right? This whole place…the shared meals…communal bathing…group laundry day. All this togetherness is making me sick. I can hardly breathe."

I know this is going to anger a lot of people, but I think Xena has a real point. Gabs was asking her to totally change her way of life. Xena has never been one to stay in one place for long. She still has opportunities in the world to do good, and while living in a quiet Amazon village may be ideal for the bard, it is a waste of a good Warrior Princess. Yes, Gabrielle changed her way of life when she met up with Xena, but that was entirely Gabs' choice. Xena tried very hard to discourage her.

Gabrielle is either slow to catch on, or is being very stubborn. "You never intended to stay, did you?" she asks Xena.

Xena chooses not to directly answer her question. I suspect if she answered it, it would have disputed Gabs statement. The hurt in her voice is evident as she tells Gabs that maybe she and Eve should go up north and do some salmon fishing.

Gabrielle is suddenly in a state of shock and can only respond, "That's probably a good idea." She and Xena volley it back and forth for a moment, sounding like two kids having a fight. They might as well be saying:
"Good, I'm going."
"Well, okay then."
"I mean it…I'm really leaving."
"Fine…then go."
"I'm walking out the door…"

I'm not making fun of them; but just like the childhood pals who threaten each other, you know this won't be a permanent situation.

Xena can't desert her friend altogether though. "So I'll head back and get some things together, then after the coronation, Eve and I are out of here."

Gabrielle is doing some digging through the Amazon scrolls, looking for the loophole that will save Joxer. She hears some of the Amazons call to Xena, asking her to teach them the battle cry and how the chakram works, and it makes Gabs smile to herself.

In a sense, it was endearing, but at the same time, it was proving Xena's point of too much togetherness. Won't these Amazons leave Xena alone?

Apparently, Gabs finds her loophole. Joxer is playing tic-tac-toe with the point of his boot…how does he manage to make such thin lines with it? Oh well, Gabs goes to Joxer and tells him if an accused man, on his first offense, pledges allegiance to the queen, he may be pardoned. Joxer's all for that, as long as it happens soon, as he's grown rather used to having his eyes. Then he asks Gabs if she knows Rea wants to have his baby.

For some reason I can't fathom (yes, that was sarcasm), Gabs doesn't believe him, telling Joxer he's delusional. Watch Joxer's quick reactions to avoid Gabbers' horns as she moves her head back and forth. Gabrielle reminds Joxer again what he has to do.

An Amazon tells Gabs it's time for the ceremony to begin.

Gabs' lack of enthusiasm is under whelming…and hysterical. "Hooray for ceremonies," she claps…"Great!"

The sun has gone down, and Gabs is being filled in on what the coronation consists of. Her biggest concern is that no animals are harmed. "I'm not drinking blood or anything?" Now Gabs, TPTB would never make you do anything like that…again. Them Bones, Them Bones was definitely the exception! Cyane reassures her "Nothing like that."

Gabrielle's relief quickly turns to stress again when Cyane tells her to take off her clothes. They can't cover her in mud if she's wearing her clothes, after all! Oh, did I forget to mention that Gabbers was getting a mudpack during this conversation?

"I don't think I'm familiar with this ritual," Gabs says hesitantly, and Cyane tells her she must pay tribute to Sister Moon. It will bring them all great good fortune. And then she adds the kicker…"It's an important Amazon tradition."

"Right-" Gabs drawls in her best Dr. Evil impersonation. She wants to know what's next.

"Sister Wolf must talk to Sister Moon," Cyane replies.

How would our little wolf (Gabbers) talk to the moon? Why, by howling, of course! Joxer hears her cacophony, and immediately begins apologizing aloud. Hmmm…I don't even think I want to go there!

Gabs is wearing down quickly. "How long does Sister Wolf howl at Sister Moon?"

The answer Cyane gives her isn't encouraging. "Till Sister Sun chases Sister Moon away." Oh sure, she still has her clothes on.

Gabs doesn't believe it, but Cyane reminds her once again, "The tradition." It's Gabrielle's soft spot, and she begins howling again, rather forlornly.

Where was Xena during all this? Even though she isn't an Amazon, she had been asked to take part in the ceremony. Her absence is unexplained, and surprising.

It's the next morning. Sister Wolf is probably out somewhere sleeping off her long night of howling. Xena is carrying Eve, and is leading Argo from the corral, presumably getting ready to leave. Eris tries to impress Xena once again, doing a series of flips that makes her end up flattening her face on the side of Xena and Gabrielle's yirrh. She even has a weak Tarzan yell to go along with it.

Xena, ever the sympathetic one, quips, "Hate it when that happens."

Eris admits she still has a couple of kinds to work out, "but ya' gotta' admit, those were pretty cool flips." "Yeah, pretty cool," Xena confirms. Her enthusiasm level is about the same as Gabs during her howling.

Nonplussed, Eris asks about her war cry. "Sounds like a yak in labor," Xena responds. And more than likely, Xena knows what that sounds like.

Eris says she can work on it, and by the way, now that she and Gabs are broken up, Xena needs a new traveling partner.

Xena tries to head her off at the pass, saying she and Gabs have only separated for a couple of weeks, "just so we can work things out." That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. How can they work things out if they're apart? Anyway, Xena asks Eris to watch Eve while she gathers some things.

The time has come for Joxer to do as Gabs told him. She gives him the "now" cues, quietly, and then listens to Joxer's overblown speech, "Hearken unto me! I have done wrong! I pledge my eternal allegiance to you!"

Gabs must feel Joxer hasn't been punished quite enough as she "guesses" Joxer won't mind if she uses a few Three Stooges moves on him to make sure he is really sincere. "Ow-ow-ow!" He obviously has to force himself to bite back a more serious retort. "No! Thank you, My Queen…"

Gabs smiles a saccharine smile. "I'll take it into consideration," she tells Joxer.

Joxer's attention span is…short. He immediately turns his attention to one of the Amazons and begins to ooze his charm. Well, he's oozing something, anyway. "Remember me? Joxer's the name…J-O-X-E-R. The X is for "extra super sexy."

Uh huh, right.

Xena's having a hard time getting away from the village. Why should she even be surprised when Eris tells her she took the liberty of packing some of her stuff for the trip. "If you only want me for a couple of weeks, I can live with that. It'll be a great experience-and who knows what will develop?" I get the impression that Eris spends all her spare time watching first-season Gabrielle. She has the same stick-to-it-iveness, just not the same personality.

Apparently, Xena has run out of ways to be polite. Considering who she was, she had done remarkably well up to this point. She lays it on the line. "Eris, I'm not looking for a sidekick, temporary or otherwise. I'm sorry. Come on, Evie." Hee hee…how could Evie not come on? She was perched on Xena's arm!

Something in Xena's tone finally got through to Eris. Xena would never want her along. Not sounding too hurt, she tells Xena she took some scrolls out of the saddlebags to make room for her stuff. She thinks that might belong to Gabbers. Well, duh! Xena tells her she'll take care of them.

Xena carries Eve and the scrolls inside. Something makes her ask Eve if she wants to hear a story. "Let's have a look. Hey…The Return of Callisto…that'll be a good one (a good one?). I sing of the wrath of Callisto, the pain of Gabrielle, and the courage of Xena, and the inimitable mystery of a friendship as immortal as the gods…"

The scene in Ides of March, in which Xena tells Gabrielle she wishes she had read her scrolls is one of the most poignant of the series. Once the events in Fallen Angel and Chakram had taken place, I would have thought Xena would have taken the time to read at least some of Gabrielle's scrolls, but she reads to Eve as if she's never heard them. Her reaction after just a couple of lines show that she didn't realize what she had been missing.

And what a scroll to start with…the Return of Callisto! For me, at least, it's one of the most heart-breaking episodes. And it would have to have been one of the most difficult ones for Gabbers to write, and for Xena to read. It's also a very appropriate choice, for it's a tale of Xena and Gabs separating, albeit under different circumstances than now. Still, Gabrielle would remain in one place in both tales, while Xena continued to travel on. Thank the gods Kindred Spirits didn't turn into a tragedy like the Return of Callisto!

Rea is still determined to get Joxer to err…cooperate. But apparently, the conversation in the steam hut with Xena and Gabrielle didn't help her learn much.

She approaches Joxer…"So, where do we start?" she asks him.

I'll give Joxer credit for at least having an inkling of what a dangerous situation he was in. "Uh oh!"

"What?" Rea asks, putting on the pout. "You don't find me attractive?"

Joxer can't lie. He obviously finds her very attractive. Grasping desperately at straws, he tells her it won't work because she's a Pagan and he's an Andre Dorian…whoops I mean "Zoroastrian". How will we raise our kids?"

Rea has been taking persistence lessons from Eris. They can worry about those kinds of details later. Meanwhile, she wants to know how they can get started.

Joxer considers all his options and chooses what he probably thinks is the safest option…starting with a nice innocent kiss.

"On the lips?" Rea asks.

Uh…no…I'm going to let that one slide.

She gives Joxer a tentative first kiss, and then wants to know how she did. Joxer, who seems to have suddenly forgotten his fear (again) tells her she was pathetic (heh heh), and she must "practice, practice, practice."

She apparently improves with her second try.

Cyane seems to have at least temporarily accepted Gabrielle as the queen, and is meeting with her in the throne room. "It's time to punish the blasphemer." Blasphemer? Blasphemy is to "speak of or address with irreverence (Yes, I looked it up.). When did Joxer commit blasphemy?

Gabrielle ignores this faux paus and points out to Cyane that he pledged allegiance to her. She starts to point out the scroll, but Cyane interrupts.

"You're gonna' pardon him!" she says, incredulously.

Gabrielle confirms it, and for some reason, Cyane doesn't argue. "Very well, I'll release him."

Joxer is in a situation that he doesn't want to be released from. Somehow, Rea has gotten him out of his restraints and into the relative privacy of some kind of barn. Joxer's mood swings are in full force though. He tries, once again, to discourage her, telling her it's not right.

"It's not working?" she asks.

"It's definitely working," he tells her. But she's too young for him. He doesn't want to take advantage of her.

Rea's response…"Oh, how sweet!"

Joxer gives one more half-hearted try, and tells her they have to stop…by tomorrow.

Cyane finds them still in a clinch and demands to know what they're doing.

"It's called kissing," Rea beams. "Wanna try it?"

Cyane gets irritated and demands that they follow her.

Joxer is trying…he really is…but he finds the going not so easy as Rea.

Gabbers is understandably confused when Cyane approaches her, Joxer and Rea in tow. Cyane informs her that Joxer has broken the most sacred Amazon law. What is this heinous crime you might ask? Why, kissing Amazons out of season, of course!

This time, since it's not a first offense, Joxer can't be released with a pardon. No, this time, it's the Royal Challenge for him.

Now, wasn't the Royal Challenge what Xena evoked in Hooves and Harlots? Apparently, this tribe handles it differently. Anyway, it's still a fight to the death with the Amazon Queen, but apparently, it can be brought about for a number of reasons.

Gabrielle wants to do some thinking about this, and heads for the sweat hut. She's talking to herself, asking, "What made me think I could be a good queen?"

Jiminy Cricket…err…Xena answers for her…"Your heart."

Gabrielle gives her a smile and asks if she's packed. Xena tells her she's almost done, but found some scrolls in her saddlebag. Gabs tells her to leave them in the hut, but Xena says she can't. She read them.

That surprises Gabrielle, and of course, she wants to know what Xena thought of them.

Xena's response is heartfelt. "I think that anyone who writes like you can…who can find grace and meaning in everything that happens…she's sure to make a wonderful queen. And that's worth sticking around to see." Then she wants to know about the Royal Challenge.

Gabrielle explains it to her, and tells Xena there's no other way. But Xena's wheels are turning. She tells Gabs she won't have to kill Joxer, because Xena will take care of that dirty deed.

Joxer suspects Xena has a plan. Rea apologizes, saying it never would have happened if she hadn't wanted a baby so much. When Joxer asks what the big rush is, Rea tells him that holding Eve makes her feel so strongly. "It's like- I could take on anyone- do anything for someone so helpless and sweet."

Joxer objects though, saying he doesn't want to be a "baloney pony…a disposable stud." He tells Rea she has plenty of time. Rea doubts it, but thanks him anyway, just as Joxer is called with, "Time to die, Pervert."

Back in the tribal area, Cyane is preaching about the old Amazon ways are best. Gabrielle agrees, and tells them "In keeping with tradition, I'm invoking the age-old provision, allowing the queen's champion to fight in her place."

Cyane tells her that only applies if the queen is ill or injured, but Gabs insists it's at the queen's discretion. It's not hard to figure out who her champion will be as Xena makes a confident entrance, finally dressed in her leathers. Joxer feels victorious already, confirming to Rea he knew Xena had a plan.

"Yeah, she plans to kill you."

Xena wants a rundown of the rules. Cyane tells her the fight is to the death, so someone must die.

Xena doesn't have any more questions. "Sounds simple enough."

Gabrielle calls for the fight to begin.

Now I'm not a wrestling fan. And I don't think I'll ever understand why TPTB decided to play this fight so over the top. But it certainly didn't bother me as much as it did some fan. I particularly liked Xena's line, "And I will crush his head like a peanut between the thighs of DOOM!" Hee hee! I ran around work for a week, using that line!

I don't know what the real tip-off for Joxer is. Maybe it was when Xena beat her chest. Maybe it was the caveman faces she was making. But something told him to play up the scene, and he does saying that while some call Xena the champ, he calls her Xena the chump.

The two continue to razz each other while Xena puts some fake and non-lethal moves on Joxer. At one point, Joxer pounds on her a bit and begins apologizing profusely, "I'm sorry!" For the first time since the fight began, there is real fear on his face.

Finally, Xena decides the Amazons have been entertained enough, and she applies the pinch. She wants to know what constitutes death, as she has just shut of the flow of blood to Joxer's brain. Gee, how could anyone tell?

That's not good enough for Cyane who can still see Joxer moving. Xena and agrees it and fixes it with another pinch, but Eris can still see him breathing. She raises her hand to tell Xena this, and I always find that hilarious. Xena applies what we used to call…forgive me…a titty twister, and Cyane checks him. His heart has stopped. "The man's dead. Our laws have been upheld."

Xena waits long enough for the Amazons to cheer, then tells Cyane, "Now step back, Sweetie." Sweetie? ANYway…With a few deft movements and reverse photography, she somehow reverses all the death moves she has just done, effectively resurrecting Joxer. I know, I know…I just take that part with a grain of salt…okay…one of those big salt blocks cows like.

Cyane didn't like this one bit…what a big surprise! But Xena insists she didn't cheat. "You pronounced him dead yourself. Nothing says he has to stay dead."

Cyane tries to interupt with some mumbo jumbo about the laws, but Gabs takes a stand, telling her it's time for the laws to change. No one should die over a kiss. She doesn't get any arguement from Rea and Cyane.

Cyane tells Gabs that her whole purpose was to keep the Amazon heritage alive and to make her tribe strong. She apologizes and asks Gabs for permission to leave the tribe.

Gabs won't hear of it however. She knows Cyane loves the tribe. And "They need you...especially since I'll be leaving...with Xena." It almost sounds like a question, but the issue is settled, as if there were ever any doubt.

Finally, after all that, Cyane finally realizes Xena doesn't want her as a sidekick. Xena's more worried about Joxer, who has just fallen over..."Every time you turn his brain off," she quips with a wry shake of her head.

The final scene is wonderful, but all too brief. Xena is entertaining Eve with the dolly Rea gave her earlier. It's very endearing to hear the normally intimidating war cry toned down to a pleasant baby entertaining sound. Xena talks baby talk for a few seconds, then Gabs tells her that she thinks the Amazons will make Cyane queen during the next full moon. Eve is sitting between the two of them, who are stretched out on their bedrolls. Joxer is off to the right, sound asleep.

Xena asks Gabs if she's all right with that, and after a bit of hemhawing, Gabs tells her she is. Xena tells her that Cyane won't be as good a queen as she is.

Gabs' response? "She'll look better in the antlers." Xena adds, "And mud." Notice during this exchange, it looks as if Gabrielle reaches out to touch Xena's arm, and Xena pulls back. I don't think anything should be read into that, I just found it interesting.

Gabs wants to know where they're headed next, and Xena tells her she had in mind a cruise down the Nile. Gabs wants to know if they'll be camel racing in Alexandria, and Xena says she knows someone they can stay with. Obviously this is an allusion to Cleopatra, and the next episode is indeed, Antony and Cleopatra, but didn't Cleopatra send Xena the letter as her dying wish? Was it just coincidental that she and Gabs were going to Egypt anyway? I know, I know...it's just another mystery of the Xenaverse!

So that's it...the long version of Kindred Spirits...I am steadfast in my belief that this episode is overlooked or dismissed far too often, as it makes some firm statements about the strength of the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. It wouldn't make my top ten list, but it would definitely crack my top twenty-five.

As always, any comments, questions, and critisisms are welcome!

KINDRED SPIRITS:

Here’s what Gary has to say:

 

This episode was not so bad, and it had its funny moments, but it was

redundant in the old theme “are Xena and Gabby really going to split up or

WHAT?”

 

The gist: They are still with the Northern Amazons, who are mostly young

women without real leadership. Gabby believes she is the one to lead them

and wants Xena to settle down with Eve there.

 

The opening: we see a lot of “naked” Amazons swimming and bathing while

sinister music plays. Cyane tries to make the younger girls stop acting

childish in the water. A girl, Eris, says she asked Gabby to stay on as

permanent Queen. Cyane is mad at this, since she is slated to be the Queen.

Eris also wants Xena  and Eve there too.

 

Xena and Gabby are with Eve, who is in a swing. Gabby says Xena is

“nesting,” and Xena denies this. Gabby says the “kids” need her as Queen.

 

Cyane yells that someone is spying on them, and instantly a lot of Amazons

are dressed in identical two-piece furry swimsuits and go after the spy,

whom we see is Joxer. Funny how he found his way North when in Eternal

Bonds, he and Gabby had no idea of where North was.

Joxer is led to Gabby and Cyane says Joxer violated their honor. Xena denies

she knows him because he forgot to bring a message from Cleopatra to

her…AGAIN. This is lame, because he had to go to Egypt twice and back to

Greece, each time forgetting this? Besides, if it is so important, why

didn’t Xena go herself?

 

Joxer is put into stocks as he was in Purity. The young Amazon girls throw

some brown stuff at him.

OKAY…where did the kids come from since there are no men, nor any mention of

them as getting some of the women pregnant?

 

Two cute Amazons, Eris and Rhea, see Joxer. Eris wants to be Xena’s new

sidekick and wants to know all about Xena. Rhea wants him to get her

pregnant because she wants a kid like Eve. Rhea says she was never even

close to a man, and that it is not easy for an Amazon…men want to KILL them

all the time.

 

Joxer is called a “fat pervert.”

Steam hut: One Amazon says she once had a man before she joined the Amazons.

Eris wants to stay a virgin forever. Xena winces at this. The girls ask Xena

what it is like with men. She answers that the bad news is, it’s different

every time. The god news is, it’s different every time. Gabby says Xena

studied the subject of sex a lot more than she did. Gabby thinks sex is

gentle and kind…Xena instantly barks that it is NOT. The girls ask how they

can meet men. One says they don’t need men unless they want a baby.

 

Xena awakens to a noise. It is a ram’s horn to summon the queen. Xena is

bored. Gabby tells her to clean the place up, play with Eve, or go kill an

animal.

Xena says the gods cannot see them, and they are safe. How come? Can’t the

gods see where she is anytime? Ares seems to find her wherever she is.

 

Eris tries to impress Xena and become her new sidekick. Xena asks her if she

can “clean.”

 

Gabby, wearing a lot of antlers, is sleeping as the Amazons arrive. She

awakens with “not tonight!” as her first words. Okay, she was with Perdicus

one night, so exactly WHOM is she referring to? Heh-heh.

 

Gabby sentences Joxer to time served. The traditional punishment is the loss

of one eye.

 

Xena whittles a stick as Eve crawls thru a log towards a fire. Xena uses her

whip to turn the log around so Eve won’t get burned. This was odd. Why not

just keep her on a leash?

 

Xena uses Eris as a slave.

Gabby tells Xena about Joxer and she must enforce the law. Gabby notices the

place is clean and thinks Xena did it.

 

The young Amazons throw more brown stuff at Joxer. Rhea asks him why he

spied on them. She liked being looked at and says she wants to have a baby

with him. He acts startled, but really wants to “help” her.

What if it is a boy baby? What do they do with the male children?

 

Cyane pretends she is the Queen. Xena has a bow and arrows and wants to go

hunting, but Eris convinces her to practice dancing with her and the other

girls for Gabby’s coronation. Xena just about moves in the dance because she

is BORED.

 

Gabby yells at Joxer and grabs his nose. She will look for a loophole in the

law. The kids attack him again.

Gabby sees Xena barely dancing and says even SHE can dance better than that.

Xena says she has had enough. Eris says Xena is a lot older and more tired,

so the young girls go practice elsewhere.

 

Gabby’s new antlers impress Xena. Gabby says she can make a real difference

with this tribe if she remains Queen. Xena says she is sick of the community

bathing and laundry stuff and is pretty much stifled. She wants to take Eve

fishing up North after Gabby is Queen…Gabby agrees it is best. Are they

going to part AGAIN? We have seen it when Gabby was going to Bard School,

and when Gabby went with Najara, not to mention when Gabby got married. This

theme has been overdone.

 

Gabby looks in the Amazon scrolls to find a loophole. If a man pledges his

allegiance to the Queen, he can be pardoned for a first offense. Gabby tells

Joxer what to do, and in an obvious reference to her antlers, he says

“deer”.

 

Cyane says the ritual is that Gabby has to be naked and smeared with mud and

howl at the moon all night. We see Gabby smeared all right, but she is

wearing a top and bottom outfit. What about the TRADITION?

 

Morning: Xena sees Eris trying flips…she got hurt a bit, but Xena just does

not care.

Why not take this kid along? Xena had Annokin, Gabby, the Japanese girl, and

others as “trainees” in the past.

 

Joxer pledges allegiance to Gabby. She roughs him up and says she will think

about it.

Gabby looked great in her new outfit and held a regal pose.

 

Rhea cuts the rope and leads Joxer to the hut so they can make a baby.

Eris packs her stuff so she can leave with Xena. Xena crudely says no to

her.

Xena goes inside to read a scroll to Eve, “Return of Callisto.” She feels

bad when she sees how Gabby thinks of her.

 

Meanwhile, Gabby will pardon Joxer. Cyane will release him, but catches him

with Rhea.

 

Gabby dusts the antler throne as she says “Is this another ceremony?” Cyane

says Joxer must pay for kissing Rhea “out of season”. WHAT season is THIS?

Rhea must be banished and Joxer must fight the Queen to the death. It is the

Royal Challenge.

 

Steam room: Gabby thinks as Xena comes in packed and ready to go. Gabby says

she is staying and is glad Xena read the scrolls. Xena thinks Gabby will be

a good Queen. She will stay there to see the coronation. They both devise a

plan…Xena will kill Joxer.

 

Joxer sees Rhea next to him in her own stocks. He refers to himself as “the

baloney pony.” Uh-huh.

 

Cyane says they must follow the old ways. Gabby says the Queen can choose a

champion----Xena! Cyane objects, but Gabby says it is the Queen’s choice.

Xena arrives in her battle-dress and wants to know the rules. Cyane says

death is due for one of the fighters.

 

Fight scene: This is like wrestling, where each contestant insults the

other. We see a lot of hamming-it-up with Joxer and Xena. Xena will crush

him to death between her “thighs of doom.” Sigh….

 

Xena pounds Joxer and gives him the “wet Willie.” He gets tossed out of the

ring and dragged back in again. We see a nice shot of Warrior-Princess butt

in one scene. She also has her crotch right in his face in one scene.

Joxer is mad. He punches Xena in the face three times, then says he is

sorry. Too late---Xena puts The Pinch on him. She asks what constitutes

death.

There is no blood to the brain.

He is not moving, as she puts more pinches on him

He is not breathing as she slaps his nose.

His heart is not beating as she punches it.

 

Cyane declares him dead and the laws have been upheld.

 

Xena immediately reverses all she did and Joxer is okay again. Cyane objects

but Xena says, “you declared him dead yourself, and nothing says he has to

STAY dead.”

Cyane says she knows the old ways are not so good but she wanted to do the

right thing.

She apologizes and asks permission to leave the tribe. Gabby wants her to be

the Queen. Rhea is pardoned .Gabby says that  she is leaving with Xena and

Eve.

Eris looks sad at this.

 

At the end, Joxer is asleep under the stars as Xena and Gabby play with Eve

and talk. Gabby says Cyane will be okay as Queen.

Would Gabby be called “Cyane” as all the others were?

Why wasn’t Melosa called Cyane?

 

Xena mentions that a cruise down the Nile is next on their agenda.

 

I liked most of this humorous episode, but I felt it was filler, and more

could have been done about this trying problem of how they get more Amazons

with no men around.

I felt bad for the girl Eris, who did her best to please an ungrateful Xena.

Joxer was, well, he was JOXER.

 

Kindred Spirits Part 1
Home