Soul Possession Part 2
Harry and Mattie aren't amused, and Mattie tells Annie there's a very real possibility that Ares might show up. Annie wants to know the "god of war, Ares?" Like there's another! But Harry nods...his Xena instincts have told him he will show up. Cut to the scene of a dark looking motorcycle with an evil darker looking rider roaring down a highway. Rock and roll music plays as the bike flies past some wildflowers which wither in the motorcycle's wake. Yep, we know who's riding it!
Now we're back to the past, and Xena is wearing a white dress (okay, giggle now and get it over with...Xena in white? This scene is VERY serious.) She is checking out her veil, and there's a knock on the door. A voice calls, "It's Joxer...are you decent?" In a voice that sounds like she's recently been crying Xena answers, "I don't know about that...but come in anyway." Joxer comes in and stops cold..."Wow, you look really beautiful." She does, except for the pained look on her face. "Despite the bleakness of the situation, I mean," Joxer adds. He tries one more time to talk her out of marrying Ares, but she says she doesn't know what else to do. She tells him he doesn't have to stay for the ceremony, "You won't be letting me down." I had already been struck by how lonely she looked sitting there forlornly in that beautiful gown, and if Joxer left...she would have had absolutely no one on her side.
Joxer says she must really believe Gabs is alive if she's really going through with this. "I do," Xena says sincerely, and for
the millionth time. "Yes!" Finally, Joxer is convinced. He finally believes it too, and throws away the flask which breaks. He
looks at Xena, his cheeks wet from tears and whispers, "I"m sorry I was such a downer." Xena's face brightens a bit. "I
guess we all deal with loss in our own way," she replies. Joxer moves to sit by her telling her he knows it's a match made
in Hades, (check out Xena's response to that!), but he doesn't want to abandon every tradition. He hands Xena a strand
of what looks like golden braided rope. Xena eyeballs it and Joxer as he tells her he knows it's weird but it's a strand of
Gabrielle's hair from the last time it was cut. The length of the lock would have been about equal to the amount the
chakram removed in Between the Lines which won't happen for some six months or so...but I guess I shouldn't question
why Gabs waited so long between trims. Anyway, that's the "Something Old." Xena doesn't know what to say.
The "Something New" is pink flower Joxer picked that morning. "First bloom of the season." Xena's expression
melts as she takes it in her hand. Joxer knows "Something Borrowed" is next, and he digs around to come up
with a gnarly looking "lucky rabbit's foot" hoping it will bring Xena better luck than the rabbit whose leg he chopped
it off of. Xena looks at the items and then says, "I guess we need something blue now, huh?" Oh gods, I knew it was
coming, and there it was. Joxer tears up again and says, "Oh, that's easy...that's me." He touched my heart, and Xena's
too as she gives him a warm hug. Joxer lays his head on her shoulder as she tells him, "Everything's going to be fine,
Joxer...I promise." Her face shows her confidence isn't quite as much as she's leading him to believe.
We're in the temple now, and the three Fate stand waiting with Ares. He turns to see Xena approach, fully decked out in her bridal gown with a bouquet of flowers. She looks gorgeous. Ares looks like he's going to drop his teeth as she slowly walks down the aisle alone. An organ from somewhere plays a variation of the wedding march. Xena looks to the Fates, then at Ares, then back at the Fates. Ares hasn't taken his eyes off her. "You are absolutely breath-taking", he tells her. Xena gives him a teasing smile and returns, "Yeah? Then how come you're still breathing?" The Fates conduct the ceremony, as Joxer walks in to watch the proceedings from afar. Xena's eyes close as the oldest Fate reminds us the union will be eternal and unbreakable. But she looks to Ares when the Fate gets to the part about any breech will result in anguish for both. Ares looks back, unflinching. In the name of Zeus, will Ares the god of war take this mortal Xena as his eternal partner. "Yes....yes, I do," he says unhesitantly, looking adoringly into her eyes. In the name of Hera, will Xena of Amphipolis take Ares, god of war, as her eternal partner? Ares holds his breath as Xena slowly looks toward him. Finally she says, "I do", and he lets out his breath. Behind them, Joxer looks defeated. But Xena isn't finished. "Not", she adds.
As everyone looks on in shock, Xena tells Ares, "That's a promise I just couldn't keep!" She grabs the wedding contract, and takes off running. "You tell him, Xena," Joxer cheers, then "You're running the wrong way!" Ares looks sheepishly at Joxer. "This is embarrassing." Joxer, the Lion Hearted points a defiant finger at him. "The deal's off, Ares...let her go!"
Xena's skirt is conveniently cut down the center, so she can easily make her way to the edge of the lava pit. She stares down into the abyss, and relives the moment of Gabrielle's sacrifice. She rolls up the scroll, saying, "I'm coming, Gabrielle." Ares is there now, and tells Xena not to tempt the Fates. "The honeymoon is over, Ares," she replies, and handing him the veil, she somersalts off the edge, into the pit. Joxer rushes up gasping Xena's name and then screams "Nooooo!" in anguish as she disappears from sight.
She must still be falling after the commercial, because Ares is watching the pit as Joxer turns on him. Joxer draws his sword, gaining Ares' attention. "Now you've taken away my two best friends...my only fr-..." He censors himself and tells Ares, "The only people I know!" "Right," Ares reponds sarcastically, and disppears as Joxer rushes at him with a shouted. "Wrong!" only to run into the wall behind where Ares stood seconds before. He knocks himself senseless, but it's not funny. Joxer did his best.
Xena is still falling, but Ares materializes and catches her midair. He looks at her with a wry shake of his head, and Xena puts her arms around him, breaking into a wide grin. She isn't surprised at this turn of events at all.
They disappear and rematerialize in a foggy piece of woods. Ares releases her, and Xena steps back, her face serious again. "Get cold feet?" Ares asks her. "More like an idea...and it paid off," she replies. She figured Ares had figured out a way to save Hope, especially since she was carrying his baby. Xena waves the scroll in his face. "Then you showed up acting all interested in my search for Gabrielle, and I knew you had to have something to do with it." Ares follows her movements as she circles him, his face revealing she is dead right. Ares wants to know what she's proven. She tells him she was saved by the fall by him, and there was no way he didn't do the same thing for Hope. She thinks the marriage in front of the Fates was a nice touch. That would keep Xena from finding Hope and killing her. Ares isn't arguing, and Xena studies his face as a revelation occurs to her. "But you didn't just save Hope, did you? You saved Gabrielle as well."
No response again, as Xena quirks an eyebrow. "Yes...you thought she'd make a good bargaining chip, knowing that she was the only thing in the world that would induce me into making a deal with you." Ares lets her finish and tells her she did some great detective work...and she's close...very close. But Gabrielle had made a deal with him. In exchange for saving Hope's life, Gabrielle gave him her very soul. Ares takes over the talking now, as Xena, looking horrified, begins circling again. Xena was right...it was quite a bargaining chip. "Unless we cut a new deal, I have Gabrielle's soul. What could you possibly have that I would exchange for that?" He's thinking oh-so-hard as Xena answers, "You want my soul." "That could work," he says lightly. Xena still looks sickened as he continues, telling her he will release Gabs soul if Xena will marry him in her "next life". And seeing as it's done in front of the Fates...it would be forever...eternity.
Xena's considering the offer, looking at the scroll in her hand. "And you would let Gabrielle and me live out this life in peace?" she finally asks. "Oh yeah, sounds like a deal," he answers honestly. "Cause as you know...she would do it for you." Oh man...hit her when she's down, why don't you? Xena hands him the contract with a unhappy smile, and he unrolls it, asking for her thumbprint on the bottom line. Xena eyes him, then presses her thumb to the contract. It glows with an eerie sound, and her thumbprint is now on the scroll, to the left of Ares'. Xena stares at her thumb as Ares says, "There, that didn't hurt did it."
He's pretty cocky now as he rolls up the scroll and tucks it into the back of his belt. He now has pretty much an all-access pass
to Xena's soul. "As long as I have this...you're pretty much mine." He starts to leave, but Xena calls for him to wait. She doesn't see the other half of the deal, Gabrielle. Ares gives her a slight grin. He let her go...Xena has to find her. He can't do everything for her. "Oh I'll find her," Xena vows.
Ares cannot resist. "Just out of curiosity, what woulda happened here today if I had really bean asking for your hand in marriage, no strings attached." Xena's right hand comes up to grab his head and pull him into a searing kiss. She releases him and shakes her head a bit at him..."Guess you'll never know." Ares slowly backs away as Xena calmly watches him. He looks like he's been hit in the gut...and that's a good thing...as he literally squeaks, "Call me..." Xena gives him a stoic nod as he disappears, and then turns, and taps the scroll, which she procurred from him during the distarction to he face. She turns and runs off.
We see her swimming in the ocean as we cut back to the footage the episode began with. She surfaces and climbs up to the surface of the cliff as Joxer helps her up. Delaney's voice over tells us that Xena hid the contract in the scroll he's reading from to prevent Ares from claiming her as his bride in an afterlike. At the top of the cliff, Xena and Joxer exchange smiles, and Joxer hands Xena a brown towel, about the size of a handkerchief. Xena looks at it, looks at Joxer, then pokes the cloth in her ear to remove the water as they walk from the cliff.
Delaney intones that we know Xena and Gabrielle reunited in Potodeia. We see said clip, and cut back to the present, and Delaney saying Ares never did have the scroll...because CHAKRAM got to it first. The crowd whoops and cheers, but the party is short lived as the door to the room is busted down by an incoming motorcycle. Ares pulls to a stop, and as the cameras flash, he removes his helmet, revealing short, slicked back hair. "First, second, what does it matter...It's mine now." He chuckles as the blonde asks Delaney if he scheduled any celebrity appearances. Delaney responds, "Well, we contacted Bruce Campbell, but he was too much money." Funny! Mattie and Annie are fired up. Mattie's happy Harry was right, and Annie realizes all Ares has to do is match up the thumbprints to claim Xena's soul. "Where the hell is Harry?" Mattie asks.
Uh...Harry is having problems with his intestines again...don't ask. It ain't pleasant. Ares presses a button on a remote
control, there's the sound of a car alarm beep, and his motorcycle disappears. He turns back to see Mattie and Annie
standing in front of him...Annie's fists raised as Mattie tells Ares he won't get away with it. Ares just shakes his head..."Oh,
the sidekick and the comic relief...this ought to be good." Mattie cops an attitude, "I don't appreciate being called a
sidekick." "Don't blame me," Ares fires back. "Listen, Mr. Harbinger of Doom," Annie says, trying to look tough, "We're not going to let you get away with this."
"Okay," Ares shrugs, and starts to turn. He whirls on them and sends them both flying with one punch. As they lay on the ground and...hurt...Ares straightens his clothes and walks to Delaney's podium. The good doctor's hand is holding the scroll, but just barely, he's shaking profusely. "Hey there!" Ares grins..."May I? Thank you!" He takes the scroll, and leans down toward Delaney. With a big smile, Ares says kindly, "Leave quickly!" With a terrified scream, Delaney does just that.
Ares starts to unroll the scroll as Harry enters. "Hold it right there, Ares." Ares sees who it is, and smiles again, "Xena! Just in time...I have been waiting an eternity for this. I guess this makes me your..." he whirls around in a little dance..."Good God...your soul man!" Harry isn't amused. Ares smile disappears as he tells Harry all he has to do is renew his thumbprint. "Over my dead spirit," comes the response, and with Ted Raimi's imitation of Xena's full battlecry, he somersalts his way to the front of the room. Annie and Mattie are on their feet behind Harry now, as Harry tries to deliver a punch. Ares catches it and returns it in full, knocking Harry for a loop. Mattie tries to wake Harry up..."Harry?? Xena??" Annie just pokes a finger into Harry's chest with a "Hey!"
Ares renews his thumbprint, and from Harry, the spirit of Xena sits up, with the most cranky look on her face I can imagine. Ares watches as Xena sneers at him and stands, and behind her, Joxer's quivering spirit rises out of Annie. I don't know where Gabs' spirit is...it doesn't appear. Ares can't imagine spending an eternity with Xena in Harry's body. There goes a lot of slash fan fiction! He begins loosening up his hand. "All right! Everybody gets their proper souls back." With a lightening bolt, the bodies of Harry, Mattie, and Annie give a shudder. The spirits disappear. "Let's try that again, " Ares says pressing his thumb to the contract again. This time Xena appears from Annie's body. Annie stands, and she and Xena become one...with Annie's appearance, but Xena's expression and voice. I'm always amazed by the different ways Lucy can project different characters, and she was astounding here.
Ares nodds approvingly...he can live with this. He gives a little "come to papa" hand gesture, then winks at Annie. "Hey, Sugar!". Annie removes her glasses, and I'm going to call her Xena now, because that's just who she seems like despite the different hair. "Oh no, you're not taking this body...this one works much better," she tells him, and she flips to stand in front of him. Ares is still grinning, but Xena sends him flying backward into a table displaying Xena's sword and chakram, along with another sword She moves forward to grab him, but Ares sticks a foot out and Xena flies backward to land in the laps of several of the press men who have obviously decided to take their seats for the fireworks display. Ares stands up with a "To the moon, Xena!" then turns on Mattie, who is now...Gabrielle. He wants to know what it's like to have the person who gave up her life for Gabs, just to lose hers...forever? Gabrielle whirls and grabs a microphone stand and uses it to give Ares a few good shots before he sends her careening backward into a table.
Harry jumps into the fray then, and tries to punch Ares, only to have his fist grabbed again. "You would strike a man from behind?" Ares asks in his best Southern drawl before unleashing a few Three Stooges moves on Joxer. A shove sends Joxer flying across the room, ending up with his head stuck in the wall. Yes...definitely Joxer.
Gabrielle is climbing to her feet as Xena stands and shakes herself, then cracks her knuckles. "Working out the bugs," she
tells us as she dashes to the stage and grabs her sword. They have quite an exchange with Ares ending up on his back
on the floor. "Oh baby, is that anyway to treat an old flame?" "It's time that flame was extinguished," Xena responds,
and begins to dodge fireballs as Ares throws them. Ares gets a punch in which brings Xena to her knees, then kicks her
backward into the podium. Xena is immediately scrambling. She grabs a scroll and reads "sun kissed buttocks?" (hee hee), before discarding that scroll and diving for the other one. She sticks the scroll in the top of her outfit and goes after Ares with her sword again. Ares has his own sword, but not for long as Xena knocks it from his hand. He sends a fireball that knocks her own sword away, and it breaks into several pieces. He grabs Xena by the throat. He lifts her by the throat, but with a mighty kick, she breaks free. Meanwhile, still looking like a mounted deer head, Joxer is waking up with his head in the other room, declaring he's stuck. You got that right, Plato!
Xena rushes forward but audibly puts on the brakes as Ares conjures up another fireball. She flips and runs along the wall
to avoid the barrage that follows. The two fans look on. "Hey..." one of them asks, "What's wrong with the special effects?"
"Yeah, they're really cheesy," the other one adds. Okay. Xena is standing still now...and what is she holding behind he
r back? Ares tells her to "stand right there!" and Xena sidesteps the fireball, so it hits the contract she now has in her right
hand. Ares' response is immediate, and hilarious..."Unfreakin' believable!" The contract has gone up in a blaze of glory.
Mattie finally is on her feet as Xena holds up the remains of the contract. "Ares made it...Ares destroyed it. Guess it means
you ain't got no soul...Ow!" She tosses the scraps aside with a hip wiggle. Ares has been beaten and he knows it. But he just
says, "You might have won the battle, Xena, but I'll still win the war...until next time, Xena..." Xena's watching him,
amused. "Oh you think, there's going to be a next time?" Ares kisses two fingertips and holds them up toward her before
disappearing. Xena smiles, her eyes looking like she's holding a secret. It's probably wishful thinking on my part, but there
was NO closure between Xena and Ares in this scene. Perhaps we will see them again!
Joxer finally manages to free himself from the wall, and sits on the ground with a bemused expression. Xena goes to him, asking if he's all right, and pulling him to his feet. "Fine, fine, it's just my head," Joxer replies with a goofy grin. Gabrielle moves to him with outstretched arms, and then turns them to Xena. They clasp hands, "Xena, no matter how Ares has tried, he has never been able to break us up." Still holding one hand, Xena puts the other arm around Gabs and leads her away, "And he never will, I promise." Joxer follows behind confused. Xena and Gabs are walking out of the room, and Xena turns to Gabs. "Well, what do you say we call it a day?" Joxer thinks that sounds good, but Xena doesn't seem to hear him. "You know, I liked you better as a blonde, but I can get used to this." She's even walking like Xena now! Gabs touches her hair and voices her thanks. Xena puts an arm around her as Joxer asks if there's anything he needs to know about this body of his. "Yeah," Xena says brightly, as she walks off with Gabrielle, "don't stray too far from the bathroom." Joxer realizes just what she means as the light music leads us black. The disclaimer, which is the funniest I've seen for a while adds to the final comments, "Joxer's process of elimination was harmed during the making of this motion picture."
Boy, did I love this episode! All of the past scenes were serious and poignant and the present day scenes were funny and cute. The burning question of Gabrielle's fall into the lava pit was finally answered, although I still haven't quite figured out why Gabs would make a deal with Ares to save Hope. When did she strike the deal? After all Hope had put her and Xena through, would she really want to save her? Barring that question, which maybe someone else could answer...it was great to see Joxer and Meg one last time, and to know that Ares is still alive somewhere to taunt and antagonize our heroines.
And just to prove that we don't always agree...here's Gary's thoughts on Soul Possession. Yep, it was the very same episode we were reviewing!
Here we go again...this was the most idiotic episode that was a combination
of the disasters Send in the Clones,You Are There,and Deja Vu All Over
Again.I was actually watching the clock thru the whole ep. wishing that it
would be over fast;this is the first time ever for me to be that way.I
really thought we were FINALLY going to see how Gabby got out of the lava
pit. This has been a real problem for me for three years,and as far as I am
concerned,we STILL do not know the answer.I will explain as We go along.
In the beginning of this travesty of a show,we see Xena and Joxer in yet
ANOTHER backstory with a scroll that they try to destroy.We don't know what
is in it,but they put the scroll in a bottle and Xena jumps off a cliff and
puts in in the Ionian Sea,where Ares will have a hard time finding it,if
ever.She says Ares made it and only he can destroy it.
The scene switches to present day where deep-sea divers find the bottle.
Next is the CHAKRAM club meeting,a seminar given by a man named
Delaney....like Sharon Delaney of the CHAKRAM.I was in the fan club for
three years. Also is a woman from WHOOSH, a Xena web site.
The speaker says a scroll was found and will explain what transpired from
the time of Sin Trade to Family Affair.Xena is said to have married Ares.
two idiotic girls in the audience are ejected after chanting Season 7 over
and over.These fools keep reappearing to the point of nausea.
The woman form WHOOSH says Xena would never marry,a political point she was
trying to make.
The scroll is a marriage contract thru the Fates.
There is a flashback to Sacrifice 2,the vision of the crucifixion
scene,which has always been a heart-wrenching thing,then back to the moronic
audience...the feeling of loss from the girls dying was just lost entirely.
Back to the back-story.Joxer is drunk,and Xena bounces in all happy saying
Gabby is alive. Joxer asks how she knows,and she says she saw it in a
vision. WAIT! In FAMILY AFFAIR,we see Joxer tossing daisies into the lava
pit and Xena grabs his hand...she was climbing out of the pit saying she saw
something that confirms her belief that Gabby is alive.
This was a huge mistake in writing,since we have already seen the episode
where Joxer is told this...we see another one...which is the real one?
In this serious scene where Joxer is a drunk being sad over Gabby's
death, there is a slapstick pratfall and other stupid words and acts that
totally demeaned the past tragedy.
There was stupid music that did not fit the scene and Xena didn't seem to be
herself. It looked as if Lucy was just saying her lines so she could get off
the set and go home.
Back to the conference:
Annie Day,Joxer's spirit in a Xena body,a-la Deja Vu,is there and gets a
put-down by Delaney.The idiot fans show up again and ask her how she feels
about being such a loser as Joxer. Annie says he was played by the
producer's brother.Yawn...filler lines again.
Annie says Gabby and Xena(who looks like Joxer) got hitched,so I guess they
are a couple,as the fans gushed. We now know the subtext theme is a reality
from this ep. and from Clones,where the girls sit next to each other in a
cab clinking wine glasses.
This was the long-awaited answer to the 6-year question of "are they a
couple?"? One line...they got hitched?
Back to Joxer and Xena: Joxer keeps saying Gabby is gone. Xena wants to go to
the temple where Gabby "died". Xena says she has to "hit the ladies'".
Joxer says hit the kids too. Meanwhile,Xena just stands next to a tree
saying that they are not doing too well without her.
Enter Ares:He says that Gabby and Hope are still around.He says Xena will
not find anything in the lava pit.WAIT! Xena,as I said,says to Joxer that
after climbing from the pit herself,that she has confirmed that Gabby is
alive. Gawd!
Now Ares says he can "find" Gabby.Huh? He doesn't know? He can travel
anywhere instantly. He tells Xena that if she marries him,he will find and
save Gabby.There is a gratuitous fight scene.Ares says "ow!"....how come
gods feel pain NOW? Xena says that she NOW knows that Gabby is still alive.
Ares says he won't know if Gabby is alive until he starts looking.Huh? He
says he has a reputation as a trickster.He says a marriage in front of the
Fates will be eternal and unbreakable.Neither can do harm to each other or
it will be really bad for the other.
Later Xena says to Joxer that Ares is prepared to say that Gabby is alive.
Another scene change: Gabby and Xena(as Joxer) arrive in a jeep,and read the
mail. They go to the CHAKRAM seminar.Gabby refers to the vacation they were
on was nothing like their honeymoon,heh-heh.(sigh).Gabby asks if her little
Warrior Princess' tummy is still bothering her.They call each other pet
names as lovers do.
Back to Xena and Ares: Xena agrees to marry him to get Gabby back and be
left alone in their lifetime.Ares says yes.Xena insists that the ceremony
should take place at the lava pit.Ares says it is where Gabby DIED.How can
she be alive and dead by both his admissions? He says he still has to find
her.
Back to a drunk Joxer: He calls Ares who appears for a stag party. Joxer has
three girls appear to try to dissuade Ares form marrying Xena. Also,Meg is
in a "cake"...Ares does not know at first it is not Xena. Meg is "wearing "
a frosting-like outfit....her breasts are covered with frosting with a
strategically-placed cherry on each boob,and it looked as if the covering
was a stick-on tri-kini.Somehow she didn't look as buxom as usual...I guess
there are not any stick-on Wonderbras.She also had on a stick-on crotch
covering. Sad. Lucky Rob Tapert,but was this worth having a good character
like Meg wasted?
Ares kicks them out and says he has a pre-nup to sign.Joxer looked surprised
to see it was Meg in the cake...who arranged the party if not Joxer? Jeeze!
Back to the conference: Xena and Gabby see Annie. Annie says it is Harry and
Harry's 'ho. Xena/Joxer has his /her hand on Gab's knee...this is
confusing. I will just call them how they are looking.
They say Ares might show up since the scroll is there.Ares is coming there
on a motorcycle.How does he know the scroll is there? Also,why didn't he
know the divers found it?
Soul Possession Part 1
Soul Possession Part 3
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