Memories of Illusia--Xena's Scroll (Conclusion)
Her eyes closed as she felt my fingers spreading her thighs wide. I bent over her face, wanting to watch her expression when I deflowered her. This Gabrielle didn't know the touch of any lover, male or female. And she wouldn't know the touch of a lover now. Only someone bent on taking away everything and despite filling her center, leaving only emptiness behind.
Her thighs were open, and I didn't have to see her center to know she was awash in juices. Had she been my Gabrielle, I would have teased her a while, moving her wetness around and fingering her clit until she was squirming for me to enter her. I loved it when she begged me to fuck her…more than loved it. I craved it…lived for it. But that was the past, and a Gabrielle I thought I no longer loved. Until…
I plunged two fingers deep inside, ripping her maidenhead and causing her to scream out her pain. She bit her already bleeding lip, her eyes snapping open, and moaned against the pain as I thrust in and out a few times, then removed my fingers. I held up my fingers so we could both see the new wetness that coated them…a mixture of her blood and her juices. I made a great show of sliding the sticky fingers into my mouth, licking my fingers sensuously as I tasted her offering. And I watched her.
Her eyes fluttered, as if they were going to roll back, and then she was watching my movements. Her eyes were full of an emotion I could barely recognize; one that I had seen on others' faces, but never hers. And then she whispered it.
"Take me, Xena."
Unbidden thoughts rushed my brain. Looking back at it, I know Ares might have created this vision for me, but he certainly wasn't controlling our words or actions. My memory flew back in time, to a young, beautiful, earnest wannabe bard…"You've got to take me with you, and teach me everything you know. You can't leave me here."
All movements on my part stopped, and I found my head swirling. More memories rushed into me…images of all the pain and sorrow we had gone through together. Gabrielle's almost dying in a Minoan temple from severe wounds she had received while saving another…her dedication to save me after I had given up on life…the suffering she had gone through when Dahak had impregnated her with a child she couldn't help but feel maternal love for…and I saw more…the pain she felt when I left her to travel to Chin…feeling betrayed and unloved because I left her that easily…the pain she felt when I told her that the child she had bore was evil and had to be destroyed…the agony she felt when she told me she loved me at Solan's funeral pyre and I rejected her, acting as though I hadn't heard her speak. Worst of all, I saw how my hatred had almost led me to kill her…dragging her behind that horse with no remorse, only glee in my heart. What a monster I was! I had brought her so much hurt…taken so much from her…and now she wanted me to take her again.
"Xena!" Gabrielle's voice finally reached me as I thrashed around in the dark. I sat up abruptly, trying to assess my situation.
"Are you all right?" Gabrielle was holding me tightly, rocking me against her body as her hand made little beseeching movements on my back. It took a while for awareness to reach me, and then I realized where we were…at a campsite about a day's travel from the Amazon village, where I had spent a few days in abject apology for my actions there earlier. And more than that, Gabrielle and I had reestablished our love for each other there, forgiving each other for the hurt, and determining to put it behind us. It was that determination that would help me now.
I had to come clean…the shame and guilt I was feeling was too much for me to go on. But I didn't know how Gabrielle would react. I was sure she didn't share the vision I had. Parts of our Illusia experience were for one of us alone, and we only knew of the other's experiences by talking them through. I knew that honesty was key beyond all else…gods know I learned it the hard way, but it was a lesson I would constantly remember!
"You were thinking about Illusia again…weren't you?" she whispered into my ear. We had both dreamed a lot of that wondrous land, and she wasn't the only one who spoke in her sleep.
I couldn't look her in the eye yet, and kept my face burrowed against her shoulder as I tried to answer. "Yes…but it was a part of it I haven't told you about. A part you weren't aware of."
"What is it?" she asked, her voice hovering. Was she expecting my answer?
"Ares gave me a vision…" I finally answered.
"A vision of what?"
I took a deep breath, and then pulled away, so she could see the pain in my eyes. I saw the answering concern in her own, and it gave me the strength to continue.
"You were there…and I wanted nothing more than to hurt you…to conquer you…but not by killing you."
She gave a sharp intake of breath, and some sixth sense washed over me. "I was there," she whispered.
Oh gods, I don't think I could handle this! She was aware of the pleasure I had derived from hurting her, from humiliating her, from raping her. She knew I enjoyed it! I averted my eyes again.
"I didn't think you knew who I was," she was saying. "You were so cold and cruel."
My mind raced with a thousand emotions, none of them pleasant. "I know I was…" I finally husked. My eyes stung with tears. "I wanted your innocence…your fear…I wanted to make you suffer."
Her eyes held a strange look. If anything, I could read embarrassment in them, which puzzled me. "My innocence? I was sure you could tell I was far from innocent…" her voice trailed off.
Now, I was confused. "You had never known the touch of another…" I began, but she was shaking her head.
"Maybe we didn't have the same vision after all."
I realized she was right. "What was yours?" I asked finally.
It WAS embarrassment I was seeing. Embarrassment and the unmistakable signs of her arousal. "I was trembling at your feet…" she finally told me, her voice low and shaky. "I was groveling as you hurt me…but we both knew the groveling was just to entice you to do more. You didn't know who I was…just some nameless faceless slave, yet I still desired you." She stopped suddenly, her eyes bright with the memories.
My own vision flashed before me…the wetness between her thighs, her moans and sounds of encouragement…even her look when I rubbed myself to orgasm on her. "You enjoyed it?" I asked, my own voice breaking on the words.
"Are you going to make me say it?" she whispered back. When I didn't answer, she went on, "Gods yes, I enjoyed it…I fed off it…gods, Xena, didn't you feel it when I fucked you?"
"You didn't fuck me…" but even as the words left my lips, I realized what had happened. The visions had left us both with strong feelings designed to torment our every day together. Mine was the shame that I had liked what I had done, and the shame that I wanted to continue to explore that path. And hers was the shame that she had liked what I had done with her, and the shame that she wanted us to continue to explore that path.
My bard grew more brazen, as she realized the same things. "I did fuck you," she said, her hands unconsciously stroking my shoulders. "And you came…hard. And I came just as hard knowing you liked what I did. I felt like I had done what I wanted…brought my mistress pleasure."
"Your mistress?" An involuntary tremor quaked through me. The words had fallen so naturally from her lips, and she was smiling at me.
She pressed me back, and despite the fact that we were fully clothed, I could feel the heat from her crotch permeate into the skin of my belly. "Admit it, Xena…you like that feeling…the feeling that you can make me do whatever you want…even if you think I don't want you to do it."
My mind was reeling with the implications of that last statement. We had flirted with a little aggressiveness before…my demanding she not do certain things when we made love…but for me to demand that she DID specific things was another matter entirely. My bard's sense of serenity and decorum had always stopped me before, but I was sensing something different…something darker…and my blood pulsed to my core as her words washed over me.
Her lips hovered above mine, as she stared deep into my eyes. "There are many things I love about you, Xena. Your compassion…your depth of emotion…your beauty…and your power. I desire to feel your power, unleashed and untamed, doing as you will with me. I know that you want to assert it…and I know that any pain you might bring me will be far surpassed from the pleasure that will be its result. Do you want that too?"
I swallowed hard, and then pulled her head even closer. "I do want that," I whispered. "Very much…and when you least expect it…you will get your wish." My mouth met hers in a hungry kiss, and there was a sense of relief and gratitude in both of our actions.
Yes, honesty was the best policy. No doubt about it. Even as my hands left her head to begin stroking over the firm globes of her ass, my mind began to work. I wanted this first time to be as perfect as the last.
I must have done well, because the next morning, Gabrielle was still dead to the world when I had already been up for hours. I sat for a while, and just looked at her as she slept. She held such an innocent demeanor during her waking hours, and while asleep, she became almost childlike in her vulnerability. I fought with the darker emotions again, wondering how I could find such pleasure in thoughts of bending her to submit to my will. She told me she loved that submission, and I had no reason to doubt her, but it was difficult for me to envision her purity and goodness could really comprehend what I was capable of unleashing. Flashes of her bent over a table, her back and ass striped with my whip caused my lower half to pulsate, but it caused my heart to ache. Gods, I was still not able to deal with this, even after hearing about her vision. My brain just could not accept the fact that Gabrielle realized what she was asking for, and I'd rot in Tartarus before I started something she didn't want me to finish.
I bent down and gave her a kiss on the exposed side of her face, and told her I was going to go get breakfast. She mumbled an "okay", and I knew when she finally awoke, she'd remember what I said. Even unconscious, she always seemed to hear me. I headed off into the forest, not sure if I wanted to go to the next town for some real food, or just seek some game in the woods.
The thoughts continued to fly through my brain…images of Gabrielle bound, kneeling before me, her huge eyes looking pleadingly up to me as she begged me to give her release. It was a cold realization when I realized that this wasn't the Gabrielle in my vision…a girl I really didn't know, but someone who looked very much like the woman I loved now. No, I was seeing MY Gabrielle, the love of my life begging me to touch her…hurt her…just acknowledge that she was there. My body itched in a thousand different places as my lustful nature responded to the images. It was so easy to envision dominating Gabrielle…too easy…and I realized that was the rub.
What if she wanted me to stop and I was incapable of it?
Gods! I had groaned so loud with that thought I frightened away the rabbit I was about to chakram. I had to figure out a way to ensure Gabrielle really wanted what she was asking for…the raw, untamed actions I would command of her. The only solution I could come up with was to offer her glimpses of it…here and there…and test her responses. I could not let myself fully go, until I was sure I wouldn't be driving her away. I could not risk losing what we had.
I settled on some wild turkey eggs, which Gabrielle could do wonders with. We still had some bread and cheese and even a couple slabs of bacon from the bag of food the Amazons had sent with us…and I was sure Gabrielle would make us an inventive breakfast with it. She was almost as creative with food as she was with her quill. My own creativity came to me in fights…and more intimate encounters.
Speaking of which, I arrived back at the campsite to find Gabrielle awake and her hair still damp from a bath in the nearby river. She was also dressed in one of my shifts, which meant only one thing…she wanted to pick up from where we had left off last night.
As I approached, I saw her take a deep breath and stand. My actions slowed as I watched her pull the shift over her head. She took one last look in my eyes, and then slowly sunk to one knee, her head bent. As if in a daze, I closed the distance between us. I laid a suddenly trembling hand on her golden hair. "What are you doing, Gabrielle?" I asked, startled by the tone of my own voice.
I felt the subtle movement of her head, pressing into my palm. "I am yours to command, Mistress," I heard her whisper.
Oh, gods, she was forcing me to play the game…how was I supposed to resist her submissive pose, her lowered voice, the waves of arousal that tremored through her body into mine. I steeled myself, remembering what I had told myself in the forest. Glimpses of my aggressiveness…not all of it at once.
"On the bedroll…now…" I said, and watched as she scrambled to do my bidding. She lay on her back, and I was annoyed at the grin on her face. She thought I was playing into her hand…and that wouldn't do at all.
"Get on your hands and knees!" I barked, as I began to strip off my weapons and armor, then the rest of my clothing. I let her watch, and then snapped at her to lower her head again, as I dropped to my own hands and knees behind her. She buried her face in the soft fur at the edge of the bedroll dutifully.
I growled in the back of my throat, letting Gabrielle hear the animal in me, as I pressed my nose forward, into the juncture at her thighs. She lurched forward, but when my tongue moved to touch her, she began to press back into my mouth. I felt the cool breeze caress my own drenched sex, but I'm sure Gabrielle was only feeling heat on her own. I had to stretch my tongue way out to penetrate her from this position, but it was worth the effort, as she tilted her ass upward to allow me better access. Her juices flowed out over my chin and onto the bedroll beneath us, and her excitement was mounting rapidly. With my tongue still submerged in her depths, I growled again, and felt her shiver with the vibration. When I pulled out, I heard a stifled moan from below me.
I slapped the right side of her ass, making her jump at the sharp sudden pain. "Give me your hand, Slut," I snarled, and she bent her left elbow, resting her upper half on it, as her right hand moved back toward me. I took it, and pressed it beneath her to her clitoris. "Play with yourself," I commanded, and readjusted us so I was lying beneath her, the tips of her breasts hovering above my head. I pulled her down so she could lie on top of me, her hand trapped between our bodies.
"Are you ready for your mistress to fuck you?" I sneered, moving my head from side to side to cause her breasts to sway. "Is that what you want?"
She lifted her head long enough to whisper, "Yes, please, Mistress," and then grew silent again. I could feel her fingers doing as I asked, moving relentlessly on her own clit, but knew the opening below it was crying out for me to invade it.
She wanted me to fill her, but I wasn't ready to do that yet. I didn't want her to think I would simply do the things she wanted me to do…that's not what this kind of lovemaking was like. I reached down and took her hand, pulling it from her center and moving it up to her breast. "Pinch your nipples, Slut…twist them…tug at them…I want to see you hurt yourself."
With another muffled word moan, she did as I said, the back of her hand brushing across my own enflamed nipple occasionally. I raised my left thigh, and brought it into rude contact with her heaving sex. Her body reacted…jerking away at first, and then pressing down hard on the firmness of my leg.
"Ride it, Bitch," I whispered. "Fuck yourself on my leg until you cum all over it."
I chuckled into her neck, where my mouth now rested as I felt her deep intake of breath. This was definitely not what she was expecting, or wanting, and that was perfect. But she moved to do my bidding…pulling her lower half up and down my thigh, soaking it with her slickness as her movements increased. This is the way I had gotten myself off in my vision…and somehow the lack of participation on Gabrielle's part in that dream had made the climax more animalistic, more sexual than emotional. I assumed it would be the same with Gabrielle, and maybe, just maybe, she'd get some of the more carnal pleasure from it than she was used to. There was no poetry involved in the way she slid up and down me, as my teeth bit and scraped at the tender flesh exposed to me. When her hand stopped moving at her nipple…I bit lightly into the other one, reminding her what she was supposed to be doing. She redoubled her efforts, as her cunt began to bear down harder against me.
"Are you ready to come?" I asked, even with my teeth still closed over the nipple. "Are you going to spasm all over your mistress?"
She lifted her head and moaned a "Yes, Mistress" before she lost control and clenched my thigh tightly between her own, screaming out her climax into the woods around us. I saw her nails digging into her own nipple as she convulsed…and it was an encouraging sign to me.
Her sporadic movements brought her knee into contact with my own enflamed cunt, and I sucked in my breath at the waves that quaked me. I was more aroused than I realized, but I wasn't done with her discoveries. I rolled over with her, and then pulled back to lie along the length of her.
Her hand never left her breast, and I had to give her some credit for that. I had never told her she could stop. Her nipple was reddened and swollen now, but she only released it reluctantly when I pulled her hand away. Her eyes were clenched shut, and her face held an expression that was indescribable. But one thing about it, it wasn't a face of someone that was feeling any distress.
I bent down, and kissed her abused nipple gently, rubbing my tongue over the hard bud. I heard the gasp, and knew it was from surprise. I laid my cheek on it for a second, then rose above her.
"Open your eyes, Slut. I want you to look at me."
Her eyes snapped open and found my face. I knew my face was a feral mask of anger and lust. And all I could see in hers was desire...and the pleading look I had envisioned earlier.
"Now you get the fucking you wanted," I told her simply. And my fingers crawled their way down her body. I stopped and gave a pinch to her most sensitive spots, and when I reached her clit, I gave it a pinch too. She yelped, and squirmed beneath me, and then sighed with pleasure when two of my fingers slid easily inside her. She was soaked with want.
I plunged hard into her, my thumb meeting abruptly with her hardened pearl when I was on the instroke, and her wetness increased impossibly more. Eventually, I added a third finger, and my pinky finger began to tease with her smaller opening. It too, was soaked in her juices, and it drove her crazy when I threatened to penetrate her.
"Yes, Mistress," she hissed, her lower half arcing up to meet my hand. Her eyes had closed again, but I found I didn't have the heart to force them open again. The hard pounding I was giving her was enough for her to have to focus on, and she was already very close again.
I thought about all the things I could do to torment her further, but reminded myself once again to temper myself, and I sensed she was near her limit for this time. My heart was already singing with joy that she let me take her this far, and I pushed more primal urges away from the surface. They'd arise again soon enough. She was writhing now, grinding against my hand as her mouth opened as she gasped for breath. Somehow, she found the voice to let me know she was still very much aware of the scenario.
"May I come for you, Mistress?"
"Gods, yes, do it!" I heard the hoarse cry strangled from my own throat, and my own core suddenly pulsated with an intense climax without it ever having been touched. She cried out again, and then her body wrapped itself around my arm, leaving me no choice but to remain buried deep inside. My thumb toyed incessantly with her slippery little clit, urging her to ride out the sensations as long as she could. She took all I had to give, and then flopped back on the bedroll, drawing in great gulps of oxygen.
'Thank you, thank you, Mistress," I heard her whispering, as I hovered above her. I let my hair hang down and tickle over her face.
"Gabrielle, open your eyes. It's just me."
She knew from my tone of voice that we were finished for now, but when her eyes opened, I'm sure my look of gratitude rivaled her own. "I love you," we said, simultaneously, then laughed with the sheer rapture of the moment. I curled my arms around her and rolled over to my back again, this time with her head nestled against my shoulder. We lay there for a long time, thinking about the new possibilities that now stretched before us.
How long would we be able to wait before we explored them more thoroughly?
Author's Note: We are not done with some of the themes involved in this scroll. To be continued next week in Scroll 13.
Gabrielle's Scroll
Xena's Scroll (Part 1)
The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls
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