Beautiful…
The word tumbled through Xena’s mind over and over again, as she lay there in the early morning hours, half propped against the headboard of the bed, her eyes now accustomed to the dim light in the room. Gabrielle’s light blonde hair was just below her chin, her face turned in sleep to lay against the top of Xena’s breasts, her face just visible to Xena, relaxed in a deep sleep.
Beautiful…
It was a word long forgotten, but now that Xena remembered its meaning, she couldn’t get it out of her head.
Xena had dreamed again last night, and this dream did nothing to allay the concerns that nagged at her constantly. Her mama had been there, tying the sash on Xena’s dress, as they both smiled at their shared reflection in the mirror. Their coloring was very different, Xena with her black hair and blue eyes and Mama with her light brown hair and brown eyes, but there was no doubt they were mother and daughter. The same fine nose, the matching smiles, the strong chins…there was no doubt.
“You look beautiful, Xena,” her mama was saying. “And someday, someone is going to steal you away from me.”
Mama chuckled at Xena’s look of alarm and cry of protestation. “Don’t worry, Darling,” she said, hugging her little girl tightly. “When the time comes, you’ll be ready to go. And they won’t really be stealing you away. They’ll just steal your heart. I’ll never leave you completely.”
Xena blinked a sting of tears away. The dream had replayed over and over in her head, and the words finally made some sense to her. She had a vague idea of what “heart” her mama had referred to, and it was the part of her that ached when she thought of her mama being gone, or her going on without Gabrielle. It was also the part that swelled with love when she thought of her mama’s smile, as well as when she looked down at her sleeping companion.
But then there was the rest of the dream…the visions that disturbed Xena from her sleep and left her afraid and anxious. The men…bursting into the house…causing Mama to scream. Funny how Xena hadn’t seen that part before. The men, demanding to know where HE was. Mama was crying already, saying over and over again that she didn’t know…that HE had left long ago and that she didn’t know where he had gone.
And Xena saw herself, standing there in the doorway, shocked to see the men hitting Mama, tearing at her clothes, shouting words that she didn’t know, but recognized as bad. Mama saw her somehow and screamed for Xena to get away…and after a few minutes more….Xena obeyed.
Gabrielle sighed in her sleep, and snuggled in tighter to Xena, shivering a little. Xena reached down and pulled the blanket up over the naked girl, and then carefully extricated herself from the bed. Gabrielle moaned a protest, but Xena kissed her shoulder, and stroked Gabrielle’s back until she had snuggled down into the bed further and quieted, still exhausted from their lovemaking last night.
In the quiet room, Xena slipped into her clothing, wondering what she should do. Gabrielle had spoke so excitedly about this place called Ohio, but Xena wasn’t sure what that meant. Would it be so far away that she couldn’t find her way back to the forest if she needed to? Why would she need to? Because Mama was there. Mama had said she would never leave Xena. Did that mean Xena should never leave her?
Confused more than ever, Xena went to the window by the door to look out. There was a steady snow falling, creating a heavy blanket of darkness over Xena’s view. It was as if the sun would never shine again, and Xena felt a similar darkness over her feelings. She was so unsure of what she should do, and that had never happened before she met Gabrielle.
A movement across the parking lot caught Xena’s keen eyes. They widened as she saw a truck pull up, and several figures climb out of the truck. Glancing back at Gabrielle and seeing she was still sound asleep, Xena slipped out of the motel room for the first time in days.
A half hour later, Gabrielle awoke. She stretched and squeaked when a few muscles protested at the movement. She was sore in places she had never felt pain before, and it caused a brief smile to flicker off her features. Xena’s imagination and sexual creativity was amazing and exciting.
With a vague sense of alarm, Gabrielle realized she was alone, and then when she saw the bathroom door was shut, she relaxed again. Xena and her hot baths…she must have shut the door to keep the noise of the running water from waking Gabrielle.
Ooo…the thought of running water was not good first thing in the morning, and when Gabrielle didn’t get an answer to her knock, she opened the bathroom door. The room was empty, and Gabrielle felt her stomach drop. Xena wouldn’t leave her, she kept trying to tell herself as she answered nature’s call and hurriedly dressed, but she was suddenly very afraid.
The snowing had nearly stopped when Gabrielle stepped outside, but the wind had picked up, and any tracks that might have been left were long gone. Gabrielle’s concern quickly elevated to panic when she spotted the truck on the parking lot. She knew that truck well…it was the one she had ridden to the forest in.
Gabrielle slipped her backpack on, and slammed the door shut behind her. Her fevered mind raced as she tried to decide where to start. Should she go to the office and see if the men had rented space at the motel? Did Xena see the men and flee? Or worse, did the men have Xena?
Tears were threatening to freeze on her face when Gabrielle burst into the office of the motel. She tore the door open, and in her haste, ran full force into a body. Pushing herself away, she was shocked to hear her name. “Gabrielle?”
“Ginny!”
For a moment, Gabrielle just fell into the embrace of her mentor and next to Xena, her dearest friend, not believing she was there and eternally grateful that she was. Ginny was rather taken aback by the welcome she got, but held Gabrielle tightly as she tried to explain. “I know you told me to stay put, but something just told me that you were going to need my help, so I came up here anyway. Looks like it was a good thing too…what’s wrong?”
Fighting back the sobs that overwhelmed her, Gabrielle told Ginny what was happening…about the truck and Xena’s disappearance and her worse fears. Ginny sprang into action immediately, her cool head prevailing.
Ginny got results. The desk clerk was insistent that he couldn’t tell the women whether or not the men had checked in, and when he turned to answer a ringing phone, Ginny casually reached over and grabbed the registry. No one had checked in over the last twenty-four hours and Gabrielle was sure she would have noticed the truck when she went out to get dinner on the previous evening, so chances were, the men had deserted it in pursuit of Xena.
Giving the desk clerk a deceptive smile, Ginny politely declined his offer to rent her a room, and pulled Gabrielle over by the door, so they could discuss their options.
When they exited the office, there were a couple of men standing on the front porch, bundled up in fur coats. They nodded at the two women, and turned back to their conversation.
“Couldn’t believe it…just a little bitty skirt and a cloth wrapped around her top half…running like a jackrabbit with six or seven guys chasing her and yelling.” The man guffawed. “I saw a movie with something like that once…but never thought I’d see it in real life.”
Gabrielle froze in mid-stride, and grabbed at Ginny’s hand. They whirled as one to face the men. “What did you say?” Gabrielle asked, staring at the man.
The man appeared startled, then rubbed a gray tinged beard, with a wry grin. “Sorry, Miss,” he said, with a kindly smile. “I didn’t mean to say anything offensive. I thought you were out of my range of voice.”
“No,” Gabrielle said, shaking her head. “You didn’t offend me. Please tell me what you were talking about.”
It took some persuasion to get the full story, but when they had it, Ginny smiled gently at Gabrielle. She thanked the men for the information, and took Gabrielle’s arm to pull her out of earshot. “I’m sorry, but I was having trouble believing some of the things you told me till now. That’s part of the reason I came up…to see how much of this was your imagination. She really is a woman of the wild, isn’t she?”
Gabrielle just nodded, not sure if she should be hurt or not from feeling Ginny had ever doubted her. She was grateful the red headed woman was there with her, but suddenly realized that Ginny might not be able to understand the depth of her feelings for Xena.
As if reading her thoughts, Ginny drew the young woman into a hug. “I’m sorry, Gabrielle,” she said again. “I can see Xena means a great deal to you, and I’m going to help you find her. I have the feeling she wasn’t just running because the men scared her.”
Gabrielle wasn’t sure what that meant, but wasn’t going to think about that right now. “What are we going to do, Ginny?” she asked. “How can we find her?”
“I think that’ll be up to you,” Genevive replied. “You know her better than anyone. Where would she go?”
Only having to think for a second, Gabrielle said, “The forest, back to the home she knew. I don’t know if she’d go back to our cave, but she’d definitely head back to the forest.”
Ginny noticed Gabrielle had said “our cave”, but once again, didn’t press her young friend to get more details yet. The teacher had been around the block a few times, and though Gabrielle hadn’t elaborated, sensed the little blonde didn’t just care about Xena, she was in love with Xena. She nodded. “Then let’s go there and find her,” she said.
Xena had taken to the trees again, not surprised the men weren’t smart enough to track her there. She was sore and cold, but wasn’t worried about the temperature. The blood still racing through her from her pounding heart was enough to keep her warm until she had to seek shelter.
She was only able to catch parts of the men’s conversations below her, but she knew she had been successful in getting the men away from Gabrielle. She had no way of knowing whether the men knew Gabrielle was still in the motel, but after leaving the room that morning, she had been able to get around to the other side of the men, pretending to approach them from the opposite direction. She had hoped they would think she was alone, perhaps seeking for Gabrielle on her own, and hadn’t realized they were there until she was close enough to see them. She could remember the loudest of the men, the one Gabrielle had called “Gene” spotting her first, and then the chase was on.
It was easy to elude the men, they could never catch up with her in the familiar terrain of the forest, but now she was having second thoughts. She wasn’t afraid of them exactly, but she knew that now that she had been spotted, the men weren’t going to give up for a while longer. She longed desperately for the sanctity and memories of her and Gabrielle’s cave, but couldn’t bear the thought of the men finally stumbling on it, in their search for her. She would have to go somewhere else, just in case they were able to track her.
Parking her car at the edge of the forest, Ginny took a good look at her surroundings. “You really think she’s in here somewhere?“ she asked Gabrielle. “How would we ever find her?”
Just the closeness of the woods seemed to have brought Gabrielle a little calmness. “I’ll find her,” she said softly. “I’ll just follow the beat of my heart.”
Glancing at her friend, Ginny’s smile reflected the sweet one Gabrielle sported. “Looks like we’ll be hiking,” she said trying to sound jovial, as she reached over the back seat and pulled out a pair of hiking boots. “And it sounds like you’ve got quite a story to tell me.”
“A story?” Gabrielle asked, trying to be patient as Ginny changed shoes.
“Yes.” Ginny glanced again at her companion, then explained, “Gabrielle, I’ve know you a very long time. Not even with Perry, did I ever see the emotion you express just talking about this woman. I don’t think you’ve told me the whole story about your time with her.”
Heat rushed to Gabrielle’s face as she blushed from the comment. She should have known she could never hide the truth from Ginny, but suddenly, the thoughts of what had developed between her and Xena stuck her in their entirety. For the past few days, she had forgotten that she was in love with a person of the same gender. Ginny had always told her to take risks, but Gabrielle felt as if she were going to take the biggest risk of all in speaking the total truth.
She was taken aback when Ginny threw back her head and laughed. “You are a constant source of delight for me, Gabrielle,” she finally said. She noted Gabrielle was looking a little hurt at the laughter, and then put an arm out to steady her companion. “Oh, don’t take offense, I’m not laughing to make fun of you. I’m laughing because of the joy you bring my heart. You’ve gone so long telling yourself you’d never find love and when you do, instead of telling the whole world like you should, you don’t even want to admit it to yourself.”
Gabrielle took all that in, and finally, realized what Ginny was saying. She KNEW, and she wasn’t alarmed or offended by the truth. Gabrielle felt closer than ever to her heroine, and asked tentatively, “You don’t care that I’m in love with a woman?” The words sounded foreign to her, but very right.
“No, of course not.” Ginny finished tying her second boot, and then gave her full attention to Gabrielle. “My dear, I have been waiting a long time to see you lose your heart to your intended. I knew the right person was out there; I just didn’t know how long it would take you to find them. Now that you have, I couldn’t be more pleased.” She took hold of her door handle. “Now, what do you say we go find the woman who finally stole your heart?”
The smile Gabrielle gave her was far brighter than any of the sunshine filtering through the swirling snow. How Gabrielle could have ever doubted Genevive was now beyond her, and she felt a sense of weight being lifted from her shoulders at the thought that she didn’t have to feel uncomfortable about being honest concerning her relationship with Xena. Ginny understood, and that’s what mattered to her.
An hour later, Ginny found herself gasping for air in an effort to keep up with Gabrielle. She was amazed at how a girl who had grown up in a small town in Ohio could keep her bearings in a huge maze of trees and bushes. Ginny had been lost almost the instant they had entered the woods, and was silently praying that Gabrielle would be able to lead them back out eventually.
By midday, Ginny’s legs were about to give, and finally, she asked Gabrielle if they could rest. Gabrielle chewed on her bottom lip, anxious to locate Xena, but realizing she would more than likely need Ginny’s help, finally nodded. The snow wasn’t very deep where they were, and she brushed off a log for them to sit on, digging through her backpack. She came up with some of Xena’s apples, and handed one to Ginny silently, finally feeling the hunger gnaw at her own stomach.
For a moment or two, they ate in silence, then Ginny spoke. “I think I know what you’re going through,” she said quietly.
Lost in her own thoughts, it took a moment for Gabrielle to process what Ginny had said. “You do?” she said finally.
“Yes.” Ginny stretched her tired legs out in front of her, and pulled her heavy coat a little tighter around her. She turned the apple core over and over in her fingers as she spoke. “My entire life, I have played against the rules…never letting anyone intimidate or influence me as to what was ‘proper’ or ‘improper’. Hell, if I listened to them, I’d never have the great job I have teaching students so eager to learn about the world around them. I’d be at home with 4.6 children cooking supper for a husband I probably could only barely tolerate. I’d always know there was another life for me out there, and regret that I didn’t pursue it.”
“How did you find the courage to do it?” Gabrielle asked, burning with curiosity.
Genevive shrugged. “I don’t think it was courage on my part,” she admitted ruefully. “I think it was more selfishness. I saw my friends around me getting married, only to have their husbands taken away to fight in a war that we could only read about or see in the movies. Some of their husbands came back, some didn’t, but even for those who were able to grow old together, I just couldn’t see myself in their shoes. I didn’t want children, I didn’t want to be married, I didn’t want their lives.”
Gabrielle considered what she had been told before asking, “Did you get everything you always wanted, Ginny?”
Ginny’s smile was sly. “I’m getting there, My Dear,” she said, her hazel eyes sparkling here. “I’m getting there.”
That enigmatic statement confused Gabrielle, but she was getting anxious to be on the move again. “Are you rested up enough?”
“Yes,” Ginny answered, “Let’s go.”
From her vantage point, high above the ground, Xena continued to watch the group of men. They weren’t far from her, but it wasn’t because they had tracked her, it was obvious they had no clue she was nearby. Xena realized she no longer felt fear even in this close proximity to her. Instead, she felt anger.
Why wouldn’t they just leave them alone? The few days Xena had spent with Gabrielle were the best she could remember seeing, and the only thing that could ease the ache she felt over missing her mama. Gabrielle was nothing but good, and Xena knew she didn’t deserve to have the men haunting her, and the dark woman was pretty sure she didn’t deserve it either.
Xena gripped the branch she was hanging onto even harder, until she heard it snap brittly in her grasp. The sound echoed through the forest, startling the men, but after glancing around, they didn’t react otherwise. There had been other cracking sounds after all, as the snow weighed down some branches and even trees to the point of toppling.
Xena sniffed the air…there was another snow storm coming…and she sensed this was going to be a big one. She thought again of the warmth of the motel room she had been in just this morning, and was glad Gabrielle would be safe. But now, it was time for her to seek shelter from the blizzard.
The clouds continued to gather above them, and though Gabrielle noticed, she didn’t point it out to Ginny. She was afraid her friend would want to turn back, and she had no intention of doing that. Ginny wasn’t known for her outdoor skills, and Gabrielle hoped she wouldn’t notice that a storm was brewing. Not until they had found Xena, anyway.
Gabrielle led Ginny toward the cave she and Xena had stayed in, not expecting to find Xena there, but hoping that the tall woman would be close enough to it that she would be able to spot them. The journalist knew there were more caves nearby, and figured that one of them would be the most likely place for Xena to stay while she waited the storm out. With any luck, Gabrielle and Ginny would be able to stay with her.
The snow began to fall a few minutes later, and Xena watched the sky, judging how long she had before she had to seek out shelter. The men were shouting now, angry to be so far in the woods without bringing any tents and having no more than the coats on their backs to protect them from the weather. Xena gave a wry smile when she realized what had happened. In their haste to catch her, they had neglected to think about what the day might bring them.
A sound in the distance caught Xena’s attention, and her eyes widened when she saw the unexpected. Her beloved Gabrielle was approaching, and another person was with her. Xena could see it was another woman, and she blinked and looked again, for the woman looked very familiar to her. After a minute, she realized why. It was the woman in the photo that Gabrielle showed her…the woman called Ginny.
Xena watched as Gabrielle and Ginny continued to approach the group of men, who had stopped traveling in order to discuss what they were going to do in the inclement weather. She knew they wouldn’t respond favorably to the presence of the two women, and realized she had to do something quickly.
She grabbed hold of another branch, and broke it in her hands, and when that failed to get the men’s attention, she grabbed another, and another. Finally, one of them spotted her.
“Gabrielle…Go! Leave!”
CRACK.
The sudden sound of Xena’s shouting voice, then gunshots caused Gabrielle’s heart to plunge into her stomach. She glanced up in time to see her lover dropping heavily from a far off tree. “Xena!” she screamed, and she took off at a dead run out of instinct, Ginny hot on her trail.
Coming next week is the final chapter of Taking Risks.
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The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls Page 4
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