Within- Chapter 1

 

“Xena…Xe-ena…” Gabrielle was on her knees beside her lover, trying to wake Xena using just her voice.

 

It was a difficult task. Xena was laying on her back, drenched in sweat, moaning softly in her sleep, apparently not hearing Gabrielle’s entreating voice.

 

Gabrielle knew what was happening…again…and was determined to put a stop to it. This was the fourth time in as many nights that she had been through this same thing with Xena.

 

 

 

It wasn’t the first time the bard had gone through bouts of dreams with Xena. It was her experience with the dreams that had taught her never to simply shake the Warrior Princess awake, as one might normally due with a person having a nightmare. Xena would often awaken violently, jerking upright and lashing out at what her sleep-addled brain perceived to be a danger.

 

“Xena!” Gabrielle had tried saying her companion’s name in every manner she could think of. She had whispered it softly, husked it seductively, sung it, and simply stated it. It was virtually everything she could think of, except for her last resort.

 

She had no choice now and barked out Xena’s name, the volume of her voice startling herself in the dark night air. She cringed backward out of reflex, not sure how Xena would respond.

 

“Mmmm…” Xena gave out another throaty sound of pleasure, then her eyes were opening. She saw Gabrielle immediately, and was able to restrain herself from striking out.

 

 

 

Gabrielle let out a pent up breath. “Are you with me, Xena?” she asked.

 

“Yeah…” Xena’s voice was low and a little shaky, but she still managed to reassure Gabrielle.

 

“What was the dream about tonight?”

 

Xena shook her head and pulled herself to a sitting position on her bedroll. “The same old thing,” she answered, knowing that was vague, but not wanting to try to explain more….not yet anyway.

 

 

 

Gabrielle peered at her, her blonde head tilted slightly to the side. She was growing increasingly alarmed by the nightly ritual that had recently developed. It wasn’t so much that Xena was being plagued by dreams on a nightly basis. No, that had happened a number of times in the past.

 

 

No, it was the fact that Xena didn’t want to discuss what she had been dreaming about.

 

 

 

The gods know Xena was never over-talkative, especially about personal matters, but over time, she had learned to be much more open with Gabrielle. True, the bard sometimes had to work pretty hard to get Xena to share what she was feeling, but she was finding it easier and easier with each passing year to get Xena to confide in her.

 

 

 

But this time was different. On the previous three nights, Gabrielle had managed to rouse Xena from a restless sleep, and on each of those nights, she had asked Xena what was bothering her. The first couple of nights, it didn’t bother her too much when Xena didn’t want to speak. She knew the Warrior Princess figured she’d get through her troubles in a couple of days.

 

Day four was here now though, and the situation seemed to be getting worse. Gabrielle could tell by the position of the moon in the sky that she hadn’t been asleep more than a couple of hours that night. She had been in the middle of a rather pleasant dream herself, in which she and Xena were making love on a deserted beach somewhere, when a blow to her side woke her up.

 

Xena was thrashing in her sleep, and it wasn’t long before her moans were growing in frequency and intensity.

 

Gabrielle knew if she didn’t wake Xena now, her motions would pick up steam, and Gabrielle would end up bruised or even worse. Xena wouldn’t do it on purpose, of course, but it would happen.

 

 

 

“Why is it such a secret?” Gabrielle asked Xena now, sitting up beside her on their shared bedroll.

 

Xena glanced at her. “It’s not a secret,” she replied.

 

“Then what is it?”

 

Xena shrugged. “Nothing really…” she replied.

 

“Nothing?” Gabrielle was just beginning to get fired up, but Xena slid an arm around her, pulling her close and quieting her immediately. Gabrielle never could say much when Xena had her tongue in her mouth.

 

 

 

An hour later, Gabrielle was drifting rapidly back toward slumber, her body exhausted and sated. She knew Xena was using her own body as a diversionary tactic, but so help her, it worked every time. Sometimes, Gabrielle would go into her interrogation mode, intentionally bugging Xena with the sole purpose of Xena stopping her by distracting her with some lovemaking.

 

 

 

Xena continued to lay on her back, one arm tucked under her head, and the other hand idly stroking the blonde head resting against her upper belly. She fought back a sigh that threatened to break forth.

 

Gabrielle was very perceptive, and Xena realized it wouldn’t be long before Gabrielle figured out several things…namely that the dreams were distressing, but at the same time, extremely arousing. She hadn’t had the same dream twice, but despite that, they did have a definite “theme”. And every night, she was more and more hesitant to go to sleep…knowing, by now, that the dreams would definitely return, and be a bit more explicit in their eroticism and the effect they had on her.

 

Xena rarely felt fear, but right now, she realized the emotion that was predominant in her was a sense of dread that borderlined on fear. It wasn’t the fear of a fiercer enemy or an unknown danger though; rather it was the fear of how Gabrielle might respond to what was going on. And even more than that, the fear of where all the dreams were leading her.

 

 

 

Xena didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

 

 

 

When Gabrielle awoke the next morning, Xena had already found breakfast, brushed down and saddled Argo, practiced an extensive series of sword drills, and taken her morning bath. She was a notorious early riser anyway, so Gabrielle didn’t give any of that a second thought upon her own awakening.

 

 

 

The bard cooked up the duck eggs Xena had found, and with them, they had their last little bit of venison jerky. Gabrielle watched Xena carefully out of the corner of her eye, noting that something didn’t seem quite right about her tall, stoic lover.

 

She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She had long ago gotten used to Xena being silent most of the time. The first few months they had been together, Gabrielle had taken it personally, but now she knew better. Xena was just used to being alone for so long, she kept a lot of her thoughts to herself. Even after years of travel with Gabrielle, she still went through long silent periods.

 

“Do you think we’ll make it to Anthrum today?” Gabrielle asked toward the end of the meal. It didn’t really matter to her, she was just testing to see if Xena was going to be totally silent with her.

 

Xena was packing up the breakfast dishes, but she paused and looked over at Gabrielle. “It’s a good day and a half’s walk from here,” she replied, “so I doubt it.”

 

Gabrielle nodded. She knew if she and Xena rode Argo, they could easily make it. But as much as she loved hanging on to Xena as they made their way, she knew the terrain they would be traveling was rough, and she didn’t want to put too much of a stress on the horse. That was how her own horse had ended up injuring a fetlock a week or so back. They had left him in a stable in Anders, giving the stable keeper enough dinars to feed the horse till they made it back to get him.

 

 

 

They broke camp in the silent routine they had long ago perfected, and were soon traveling toward the east.

 

Xena rode Argo, traveling at a very slow pace, so Gabrielle could easily keep up on foot. They had only been traveling a few minutes, when Xena surprised Gabrielle by saying, “How’s the scroll about our time in the Northlands coming?”

 

“Really well,” Gabrielle answered. “All I have do is figure out exactly what Brunhilda and Grinhilda’s motivations were, and it’s all finished.”

 

Nodding, Xena said, “How about telling me what you’ve got in it so far?”

 

Gabrielle stared at Xena as though she had suddenly sprouted wings, and nearly fell flat on her face as she stumbled over an invisible obstacle in her path.

 

“Steady there,” Xena chuckled. She was slightly embarrassed that her wanting to hear a scroll could cause such a scurry in Gabrielle, especially since she had read most of them over a year ago.. She filed it away with the thought that she would have to ask for this more often.

 

Gabrielle giggled. “Do you really want to hear it?” she asked.

 

“Yeah…I do.”

 

“Okay…” Gabrielle would tell a story over and over to herself, before writing it out on a scroll, and could tell it by heart better than she could read it. “I sing of Xena…the Warrior Princess…and her struggle to right wrongs she had committed years before, and save three women, all at the same time.”

 

 

 

It took a while for Gabrielle to tell the tale, and she looked at Xena often, curious to see if she was still listening.

 

Xena was, her face holding a far-off expression that kind of confused Gabrielle. She had never seen the Warrior Princess appear so distracted before.

 

Xena usually rode very tall in the saddle when she was on Argo’s back. Gabrielle noticed for the first time that day how Xena seemed to be a little hunched over in her seat, her shoulders slightly slumped. Gabrielle had seen her like that a few other times…mainly after fighting extraordinarily hard battles. A slight loss in posture would be the only indication of what the tall woman had been through.

 

Gabrielle was a little puzzled by this. The last few days had been almost unreasonably calm and they hadn’t been involved in a fight for at least a week.

 

Gabrielle finally came to the end of her tale, and she looked up at Xena expectantly. “Well, what did you think?” she asked finally.

 

Xena nodded and grinned in return. “Very good,” she replied. “One of your best.”

 

“Y’think?” Gabrielle asked. “I had a really hard time making the listener sympathize with both Brunhilda and Grinhilda.”

 

“I think you did it just right,” Xena replied. “I don’t think anyone will ever hear or read that scroll and not feel for both of them.”

 

“Really?” Gabrielle asked., and she received a nod. “But do you think people will be rooting for the right side?:

 

“Definitely,” Xena answered. “But at the same time, they’ll be saddened by parts of the end result.” She paused, then added, “And that’s how it should be.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gabrielle nodded in agreement.

 

 

 

For a couple of minutes, they traveled in silence. Gabrielle finally got up her nerve. “Xena?”

 

Xena almost looked startled by her sudden speaking. “Yes?”

 

“Are you feeling okay? You’re sort of giving me the impression that you might not be feeling very good.”

 

Xena smiled an easy, seductive smile. “I feel just fine,” she replied. “In fact, I feel especially fine.”

 

Gabrielle got caught up in her gaze, and felt her heart skip a beat. The grin that Xena was giving was one of her most sexy; it was the lopsided one, the kind that usually led up to some intense, physical encounter.

 

Gabrielle finally had to give her own grin in return, not knowing what or wanting anything else to do.

 

“Give me your hand, My Little Bard.”

 

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