Within- Chapter 4

Still looking a bit unsure of herself, Xena began, “The first night I dreamed, I remembered the first time I had a woman brou

REMINDER: Did you read the disclaimers? This is when they start coming seriously into effect, and it’s just the beginning. If you’re hesitant at all, you won’t offend me if you don’t choose to read further.

 

Still looking a bit unsure of herself, Xena began, “The first night I dreamed, I remembered the first time I had a woman brought to my tent. I had been with several women before, all of them willing… but I thought this one wasn’t gong to be so easy, at least as easy as it had been up till this point.” She paused, and saw she had Gabrielle’s rapt attention.

 

“I hadn’t been building my army very long, and I’d already been through the ranks of my men, screwing the ones I found desirable. Back then, I wasn’t big on having a steady partner. I was more into sleeping with anyone who appealed to me in hopes of finding someone who…left me sated on all levels. Of course, I now know that only you can do that…” She trailed off and then leaned forward to give Gabrielle a quick but sweet kiss on the lips.

 

“Sufficed to say, I hadn’t had much luck. We had been stretching our muscles along a few villages, and then we entered one little town that was filled mainly it seems with little old men. I thought it was a total waste of time, until I caught sight of this…girl. This tiny little woman with long brown hair, huge brown eyes, and a huge set of ti-...breasts.” She censored herself, but Gabrielle just smiled at her.

 

“Tits,” she said softly.

 

“Tits,” Xena agreed. “With all the sweaty, smelly men I had been keeping company with…my mouth watered at the sight of the girl. Of course, my men’s did too, but as the leader, I had first crack. I ordered her captured and brought to my tent.”

 

“So what happened?” Gabrielle asked, hanging tightly onto every word Xena said.

 

Xena laughed mirthlessly. “This same girl, who had looked at me all terrified when I first saw her, like she was deathly afraid of me, became a tiger. Turns out she was at hot for me as I had been hot for her, and we fucked like two wildcats all night long. The next day she begged me to let her travel with me…and…well… that was the end of the relationship.”

 

Gabrielle laughed a little in surprise at the end. She could have easily felt embarrassment at the gleam in Xena’s eye, but now, that the story was over, the gleam was gone and instead, Xena’s love for her was the only evident emotion.

 

“Okay,” Gabrielle said finally. “What about the second night?”

 

Xena’s discomfort became evident again. “I uh…dreamed about Borias and me.”

 

“Borias…” Gabrielle repeated. Xena had been with Borias longer than anyone beside the bard herself, and there were numerous stories about their sexual exploits, quite often in front of or involving other people. Xena had denied ever feeling anything for Borias, but Gabrielle knew there was at least a spark of respect and perhaps mutual attraction between them.

 

“Yeah,” Xena was saying. “It was the first time…Borias fucked me in my ass…” Gabrielle felt the blush rise again at that statement, but didn’t speak. “I’d had fingers and a tongue or two there, but never anything as big as Borias’s cock. He wasn’t extraordinarily huge by any means, but he wasn’t small either. We were always competing with each other…in battle…in riding…everything, and I had won this dagger he had been very fond of. There wasn’t anything extra-special about the dagger, except Borias really loved it.

 

“We were competing to see who could hunt and kill the most wild turkey before sunset one day. I came back with three to his one, but I had snuck and used my chakram after promising I wouldn’t use it.

 

“He didn’t know it at first, and I almost got by with it, except I hadn’t cleaned all the turkeys yet, and Borias noticed how clean the death blows were, and became suspicious. He was furious when he found out that I had lied to him and cheated on him.”

 

Xena stopped for a second, the looked rather sheepishly at Gabrielle. “I could take Borias in a fight, but when it came to sex, I liked him to get the upper hand with me sometimes. And that night, he was so furious with me…

 

“Gods, he dragged me into our tent, and ripped my underwear off, spanking my bare ass until I was ready to explode. Gods, I’m sorry, Gabrielle, but he really blistered my ass good and I was enjoying every minute of it..

 

“And then he left me lying face down on the bed, and the next thing I knew, he’s naked too, and pressing hard into the part of my body where he had just spanked me raw.

 

“I figured he was going to fuck me from behind…which we both really liked, and was already looking forward to having him inside my pussy while he continued to torment my sore ass, and then I felt his dick pressing into my asshole.

 

“I screamed and cursed and fought and threatened, and came so fucking hard, I thought I was going to explode. Borias really got into it too, at least as much as I did. I never made it easy for him to fuck me up the ass, although we did it many times after that. I never admitted to him how much I got off on it, but I’m sure he was well aware.”

 

Once again, Xena’s voice trailed off, and with it, all the lustful expressions faded as well. She shook off the memory quickly.

 

 

 

Gabrielle was looking more than a little flustered at this point. Xena had smelled her own arousal when she first woke up, and now, she was well aware of Gabrielle’s as well. She noted that with a good deal of interest.

 

“You have some amazing dreams, Xena,” the bard said finally. “And some amazing memories.” Once again, she thought she should be feeling at least a little anger toward Xena, but just couldn’t.

 

Her eyes shone into Xena’s. “What about the third dream?”

 

Xena squirmed imperceptibly on her bedroll. “This is where it starts getting a little harder to tell you,” she said.

 

THAT got Gabrielle’s curiosity really going. “Oh yeah?”

 

“Mm hmm…the third dream…was about an experience I had before meeting up with Borias…and after I had…err…tangled with the wild woman I told you about.”

 

“Okay.” Gabrielle took a deep breath. “Who were you with?”

 

“She was called Anna…” came the reply. “And she…was one of those I forced to serve me.”

 

Gabrielle nodded her understanding, knowing things could get ugly now.

 

 

 

Xena suddenly couldn’t look her lover in the eyes. She was staring at the campfire again. When she spoke, Gabrielle had to strain her ears to hear.

 

“I uh…took her out riding, and fucked her on horseback.”

 

Xena winced as she stopped speaking, as though waiting for Gabrielle to explode. When it didn’t happen, Xena glanced over at her again.

 

Gabrielle had a funny expression on her face. “And I take it that’s what gave you the idea for what we did today?” she asked finally.

 

Xena shrugged, then nodded. “Sort of,” she answered. “I certainly wasn’t comparing you to Anna…but it had been a pleasurable experience. And it turned out to be MUCH more pleasurable with you.”

 

Gabrielle nodded thoughtfully. “You seemed concerned that you might have acted out on the dream you had tonight, Xena,” she commented. “Did what happened on Argo today make you think that you were reliving past memories from tonight’s dream?”

 

 

 

Gods, but Gabrielle was so smart! It came in handy much of the time; the girl’s natural intelligence. But there were also a few times like now, when her brainpower could make Xena feel uncomfortable.

 

“I’m not sure,” Xena answered finally. “The first two nights, the dreams I had consisted of sex with willing partners. I pretended not to be willing with Borias, but we both knew it was all an act.”

 

“And tonight’s dream was different.” It was a statement, rather than a question.

 

“Yeah,” Xena answered.

 

“You forced someone?”

 

Once again, Xena couldn’t face her. “Well…it was closer to that. Anna was very scared of me…she had witnessed some of my handiwork firsthand and apparently thought I was going to skin her alive. I ordered her brought to my tent, and didn’t have her tied up. She led me on quite a chase for a while, but I was just toying with her.

 

“By the time I caught her, we had both worked up a sweat. Of course, by the end of the night, we both sweated a whole lot more.”

 

Gabrielle was disconcerted by Xena’s smile at that. “Did you rape her?” she asked.

 

It was a fair question, and Xena knew it. At the same time, for some reason, she was a little hurt by Gabrielle’s asking.

 

“No…” she answered finally. Then she found herself adding, “Not exactly.”

 

“Not exactly?”

 

“I don’t know what to tell you,” the dark haired woman finally blurted out. “It depends on how you define ‘rape’.”

 

“Rape…” Gabrielle spoke calmly and evenly. “I would define rape as forcing someone to have sex, when they didn’t want to.”

 

Xena hesitated, then said, “What if they claim they don’t want it, but very soon get into it…until the point they are asking for more?”

 

“I don’t know,” Gabrielle replied doubtfully. “If they’re very unwilling at first, then I’d still have to call it rape. I would be afraid that they were so terrified, and then become so relieved when it’s not nearly as painful as they imagined the at the relief would become the reason for appearing to enjoy it.”

 

“I see what you mean,” Xena said thoughtfully, after yet another beat. “And I never thought of it that way.”

 

“So, if you go by that definition…” Gabrielle didn’t even have to finish the statement. Xena was nodding before she got done.

 

“By your definition…yeah…I guess I’m a rapist.”

 

Something in hearing Xena say that made Gabrielle want to change her mind. “I don’t think I’d put it quite that way,” she said. “I mean…”

 

“I forced her,” Xena replied evenly. “And many others, at least at first. I loved to take someone who wanted nothing to do with me, and work on them until they were begging me to fuck them.”

 

“I shouldn’t be amazed by that,” Gabrielle said, incredulous. “because I know the power of your seductive skills. But still…”

 

“I’m afraid it was all part of my bid for power,” Xena answered, with a sad shake of her head. “If one idea didn’t work, I’d try another…and another…until I finally got what I wanted.”

 

“Which was…?”

 

Xena shrugged. “To get them to beg me to fuck them.”

 

Gabrielle knew she should be horrified and disgusted by what she had just heard. A very small part of her brain was going through those very emotions.

 

However, the vast majority of her brain had another agenda in mind. “So how did you force Anna?” she asked, not able to stand the curiosity any longer.

 

“It didn’t take much,” Xena replied. “Anna wasn’t a virgin, by any means. She was just one of those who’d been taught it was unnatural for one woman to be with another.”

 

Gabrielle nodded her understanding. They had met a few people like that in their travels. Most people were totally comfortable with her and Xena being a couple, but Gabrielle imagined if those people were the ones involved in a same sex relationship, it might be a little harder for them.

 

But still…with Xena involved…

 

 

 

“So how did you convince her?” Gabrielle asked.

 

Xena shrugged. “It wasn’t hard. She really only offered me a token protest, and the moment I had my fingers buried between her legs, she quit fighting and just enjoyed our time together.”

 

 

 

Gabrielle could hear the almost wistful tone in Xena’s voice, and wondered why she was feeling a shred of disappointment that there wasn’t anymore to this particular story. The personal experience of Xena taking control of her pleasure while on Argo, and then, Xena’s rough handling when she had first woke up from her dream was scary, of course, but at the same time, very exciting.

 

 

 

Xena was pretty sure she recognized the hunger in Gabrielle’s expression. She was certainly no stranger to it. Many a woman played the fearful victim only for a couple of minutes before they dropped the pretenses and came to Xena willingly.

 

It was a game Xena loved to play, but she found she didn’t want to right now. Not when the vivid images of her dreams kept playing in her mind. She was afraid she might get a little carried away, and the last thing she wanted to do was scare off the most wonderful, giving lover she had even been with.

 

 

 

Finally, Xena rolled onto her back. “I’m going back to sleep,” she told Gabrielle, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Why don’t you do the same?”

 

Gabrielle stared at Xena, looking quite put out at first. Despite their lovemaking long into last night, and her afternoon adventure on Argo’s back, she was still in the mood for love…or at least Xena’s touch.

 

But then, the realization came to her, as to why Xena didn’t want it to happen right then. She had no doubt that Xena was capable of getting…demanding when she wanted, and wasn’t sure if she was up to that yet.

 

“Good night, My Love,” she said sweetly, bending over to give Xena a quick kiss.

 

“Good night.”

 

 

 

Gabrielle laid down on her own bedroll next to Xena, and despite the wide awake state of her lower half, she was soon sound asleep again.

 

 

 

 

Xena heard Gabrielle’s breathing become deep and even, and then opened her own eyes.

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