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- 674.You wear knee-high stockings with a skirt.
- 675.You wear knee-highs with tennis shoes, and the knee-highs are rolled down around your ankles.
- 676.You follow the tractor pull circuit.
- 677.You follow the Monster Truck Racing circuit.
- 678.You follow the Rodeo circuit.
- 679.You follow the Nascar circuit.
- 680.Your sewage system consists of a pipe down a hillside.
- 681.Your mother's only shoes are her house slippers.
- 682.The last time you saw your daddy outside, he was picking up trash, chained to three other guys.
- 683.You have ever made a frog-gigging spear.
- 684.You've ever talked back to characters on the movie screen, or on TV, ESPECIALLY if its a game show!
- 685.Your tires are worth more than your truck.
- 686.Your spare tire is a cement block.
- 687.You own a denim leisure suit.
- 688.You own a leisure suit of ANY kind, and STILL wear it.
- 689.Your coat of arms features a tire iron.
- 690.You've ever towed another car using panty hose and duct tape.
- 691.You've ever laid rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
- 692.Your kids trip over the Christmas lights while hunting for Easter eggs.
- 693.You leave traps out at Easter to catch the Easter Bunny.
- 694.Your kids hide the Easter eggs under cow patties.
- 695.You and six of your neighbors split the cable bill.
- 696.People can't recognize your car without a dead animal on the hood.
- 697.Your mailbox holds up one end of your clothesline.
- 698.Any of your honeymoon plans involve a deer camp.
- 699.All your favorite shirts came with a minimum two-pack purchase of cigarettes.
- 700.You have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon.
- 701.You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
- 702.You ever go clothes shopping in a goodwill box.
- 703.You ever go through the laundry milk crate for clean/dirty socks.
- 704.You've ever used your underwear for toilet paper.
- 705.You've ever used 40 weight to shine your boots.
- 706.You consider your wife's tattoos moving pictures.
- 707.You've ever coveted your neighbor's wife and she's your sister.
- 708.Your eye color on your driver's license is red.
- 709.Your best pair of shoes is a pair of work boots with holes in it.
- 710.You refer to your beer gut as "the old tool shed."
- 711.You've ever stolen a Neighborhood Watch sign to put in your yard.
- 712.You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
- 713.You've ever given rat traps as gifts.
- 714.If your biggest decision when going on vacation is to use paper or plastic.
- 715.You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
- 716.You've ever vacationed in a rest area.
- 717.You've ever picked up a woman in a convenience store.
- 718.You proposed in a Denny's.
- 719.You inherited a Styrofoam cooler.
- 720.There's no cutoff age for sleeping with your parents.
- 721.You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
- 722.You've ever had to move a car seat to make love.
- 723.You think "trash TV" is something in your back yard.
- 724.You think a lavatory is a breed of dog.
- 725.You've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery.
- 726.You use old auto parts as a boat anchor.
- 727.You think safe sex means putting on the emergency brake.
- 728.You repaint your pink flamingo every spring... but not your house.
- 729.Your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.
- 730.Your toothbrush is a hand-me-down.
- 731.The nearest liquor store is brewing in your basement.
- 732.The Marlboro man is your idol.
- 733.You've ever had a conversation about truck tires that lasted more than an hour.
- 734.You've ever fished from over a fence.
- 735.You have ever taken lawn furniture to a drive-in.
- 736.You think truffles are a brand of potato chips.
- 737.You know all the verses to the "Hee Haw" song.
- 738.You currently drive a car with "In Tow" painted across the back.
- 739.You think wild turkey should be the national bird.
- 740.Your truck sits so high that you can see in a second floor window.
- 741.You name the pick of the litter after your wife to show your affection.
- 742.Your goal in life is to look like the character on the "Drew Carrey Show" named "Mimi Bobeck!"
- 743.You consider the tractor your 'good' car.
- 744.You ever went to Walmart to freshen up for a date.
- 745.You got cable just for TNN.
- 746.After dinner you have Pixy Sticks and the height of the evening is comparing tongue colors.
- 747.Speling aint tha eazist thang you evar tryed.
- 748.You find automatic transmissions confusing.
- 749.You refer to an armadillo as a possum in a half shell.
- 750.Being designated driver means you're limited to a six pack
- 751.You snorkel in a waterbed.
- 752.The U.S. Government declares your back yard a national wildlife sanctuary.
- 753.You are afraid to let your four year old daughter talk to the priest.
- 754.You have more hair on your back than on your head.
- 755.You have baby ostriches living on your back porch.
- 756.Your shirts are "3X-Large" but should be "5X-Large."
- 757.Your good furniture is just some old seats from a van.
- 758.You wonder why the feed you just put out for your animals keeps disappearing.
- 759.You shave your cat to put hair on your head.
- 760.You take your newborn to the grocery store to be weighed on the produce scale.
- 761.You use your bowling bag as a suitcase.
- 762.Your girlfriend lives with her other boyfriend.
- 763.You need a bank loan to finance your next hunting trip.
- 764.You think NASCAR is better than sex.
- 765.You spend more than two hours at the local garage drinking coffee.
- 766.If your mower has more miles than your car.
- 767.Your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.
- 768.Your greatest accomplishment is the 10-pound turnip you grew.
- 769.Any of your hobbies require dogs and a lantern.
- 770.You think people who have electricity are uppity.
- 771.You think people who have running water are uppity.
- 772.You know how to milk a goat.
- 773.Your best friends are named Skeeter and Possum.
- 774.You've ever hollered, "You kids quit playing on that sheet metal."
- 775.Your idea of water conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.
- 776.You idea of a summer vacation is running through a sprinkler in the front yard.
- 777.There are four pairs of pants and two squirrels hanging from your clothesline.
- 778.Your local newspaper has a front-page feature called "Cow of the Week."
- 779.You don't need a clean shirt to go to work.
- 780.You bum a dip from your mother.
- 781.You have the entire WWF slurpee cup collection proudly displayed on a shelf in your trailer.
- 782.Your favorite mixed drink includes Yoo-Hoo.
- 783.You think "Hooked on Phonics" is a fishing show.
- 765.You've ever attended a dance at the bus station.
- 766.Your guest bedroom is also your tool shed.
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