|
- 880.The oak tree in the front yard is an essential piece of automotive repair equipment
- 881.The original color of your carpet is an unsolved mystery.
- 882.The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
- 883.The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.
- 884.The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children.
- 885.There are more cement blocks under your vehicle than under your house.
- 886.There are more than 4 hats in the rear window of your car.
- 887.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
- 888.There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
- 889.There's the equivalent of 3 large orders of fries scattered on the floor-board of your car.
- 880.Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.
- 881.When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.
- 882.You actually know which kind of leaves make the best substitute for toilet paper.
- 883.You are in 6th grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.
- 884.You ask your 8-year old son how to spell a word.
- 885.You bring your dog to work with you.
- 886.You burn your yard rather than mow it.
- 887.You buy the lot next to your house because you need the room for all your "stuff"
- 888.Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
- 889.Your grandmother, mother, and wife all have kids the same age.
- 890.You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
- 891.You can field dress a deer, but can't change a diaper.
- 892.Your family business requires a lookout.
- 893.You can hit a bullseye from up to yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.
- 894.You can spit without opening your mouth.
- 895.You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
- 896.Your main crop is not Legal.
- 897.You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
- 898.You can't wait for the Saturday night square dance.
- 899.You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
- 900.You cut your toenails in front of company.
- 901.You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
- 902.You ever cut your grass and found a car.
- 903.You ever hit on somebody in a VD. clinic.
- 904.You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."
- 905.You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair.
- 906.You get your daily requirement of fiber from toothpicks.
- 907.You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
- 908.You go to a museum to see all the naked "babes" in the paintings.
- 909.You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
- 910.Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
- 911.You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
- 912.You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.
- 913.You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
- 914.You had a toothpick in your mouth when you had your wedding picture taken.
- 915.You haul more than U-Haul.
- 916.You have 3 first names.
- 917.You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
- 918.You have a rag for a gas cap.
- 920.The character "Al Bundy" from the flop T.V. show "Married With Children" is your idol!
- 921.Your back porch is bigger than your house.
- 922.Your back porch has a porch swing or a couple of rockin chairs facin west.
- 923.Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
- 924.You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
- 925.You have ever barbecued hamburgers & hot dogs at the drive-in theater
- 926.You have ever dug up your driveway to fix your water line.
- 927.You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.
- 928.You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
- 929.You have ever written a check for less than a dollar.
- 930.You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.
- 931.You have flowers planted in a toilet in your front yard.
- 932.You have got more bumper stickers than children.
- 933.You have grease under your toenails.
- 934.You have more than 3 used pampers rolling around in the back of your truck.
- 935.You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house, NOT including 22 caliber.
- 936.You have season tickets for the tractor pull.
- 937.You have season tickets for the Rodeo.
- 938.You have season tickets for Nascar.
- 939.You have sworn on your mother's grave while she is standing beside you.
- 940.You have to duct tape your gloves on.
- 941.You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
- 942.You raise the Confederate Flag in the bed of your truck whenever you go for a drive.
- 943.You recycle enough Copenhagen lids & beer cans to buy Christmas presents.
- 944.You refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as "the day my ship came in."
- 945.Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
- 946.You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
- 947.You've ever done shot anyone for looking at you.
- 948.You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
- 949.You panicked when Sears discontinued its catalog.
- 950.You have to honk your horn when pulling into your driveway to keep from killing chickens.
- 951.You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $5.00.
- 952.You have to stop a leak in your flatbottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
- 953.You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
- 954.You mow your lawn and find a car.
- 955.You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
- 956.You need one more hole punched in your card before you get a freebie at the "House of Tattoos"
- 957.You pick your teeth from a catalog.
- 958.You own more than two clappers.
- 959.You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup.
- 960.You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
- 961.You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
- 962.You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
- 963.You refer to your cousin as "my girlfriend."
- 964.You refer to your truck as if it had a legal first name.
- 965.You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
- 966.You show your boyfriend you really love him by carving his name on your arm.
- 967.You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.
- 968.You sweep up the rice at the wedding and serve it at the reception.
- 969.You take the muffler off your new truck before you get home.
- 970.You think Hamlet is on the McDonald's breakfast menu.
- 971.You take your dog for a walk, and you BOTH use the tree at the end of the block.
- 972.You think "dual airbags" refers to your wife and mother-in-law.
- 975.You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
- 976.You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
- 977.Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
- 978.Your classes at school were canceled because the path to the restroom was flooded.
- 979.Your clothesline has at least two splices in it.
- 980.Your all-time favorite movie is "Cannonball Run"
- 981.Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.
- 982.Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
- 983. You've ever carved you and your sweethearts name in a heart in a tree.
- 984.You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
- 985.Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
- 986.You've ever watched the game warden through your scope.
- 987.You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
|
